"Well Thorin. You keep surprising me."
Her laughter sounded like music to his ears, even though he felt she was laughing at him. He felt like an idiot.
"I bet there is nothing you have to be ashamed of."
She looked deep into his eyes and he started to sweat again. Essentially, there were a whole bunch of things he was ashamed of, from his behavior to his appearance. Although she was probably older than he, time had no hold on her and he had lived for almost two centuries. He had never thought about it before, but Alyssae summoned so many unfamiliar emotions in him he couldn't even recognize himself anymore.
"You don't have to do this if you don't want to,"Alyssae smiled. "I was just teasing you a little." She leaned toward him and whispered: "Although I would be lying if I said I don't want to see it."
"All right then," Thorin murmured. It was not such a big deal, right? He slid his robe from his shoulders and loosened his shirt of mail.
A quirky smile touched Alyssae's lips and unconsciously he wondered how many men had undressed before her eyes. He knew nothing about her love life, nor what was usual among elves - except that they could not always choose whom they wanted to marry.
"Well, this is all you can get." He looked straight into her eyes to see what she thought.
"And what exactly do you want me to do with it?"
Although he became tired of blushing over and over again, his cheeks colored red again. She was quite sharp-minded today. He wished he could make a clever remark as well, but he did not dare to say what he really longed for, because he was still afraid of losing control.
"I'm just teasing you."
"I know," he muttered, but he smiled hesitantly. He felt uncomfortable under Alyssae's scrutinizing gaze, like he was a piece of meat whose purchase was considered. Would she also have felt that way?
"Well, not bad." She looked at him with shining eyes and her fingertips ran across his chest. "Something more chest hair than I thought, but that's quite rough."
Thorin stared at her dumbfounded. "Have you thought about that?"
She grinned briefly and caught his eye. "Of course. That's normal when you're in love, right?"
He had no answer. After all, he had never been in love before and he found it difficult to admit that was indeed the case right now. It however was undeniable Alyssae did something with him that no one had ever done before. "I guess."
A shiver crept down his spine, but he didn't know whether it was caused by the exciting look in her eyes, her silk-like fingertips or her words. He looked down and saw her fingers strayed from his chest to his sides, and it was like small surges attacked his torso. He could feel his own hands burn, eager to explore her upper body as well now he knew he was not the only one with silent fantasies, but he hardly dared to move, afraid that something would spoil the moment.
She brought her face to his. "The reality is even better than my dream."
He was afraid to drown in her beautiful eyes. He felt like a tamed dog, unable to formulate a sentence independently. On the one hand he was chased by fear that she could paralyze him by looking in his eyes, on the other hand he knew he did not have to fear her.
His gaze wandered to her lips. Why had he not really kissed her when he had the chance? He wanted it suddenly so badly that he could no longer imagine that he had given it up a few moments ago.
"I want you," he whispered, staring into her eyes. His voice was soft but firm.
His words were soon answered by her when she kissed his lips. She pressed her mouth against his lips surprisingly firmly, but then withdrew.
"If anyone sees us we're in trouble," she sighed. "If I have kissed you once, I'll be completely out of control."
Thorin had the feeling that he currently could no longer wait as well, but he knew that his temper was still a weakness that needed to be worked on.
He also knew that she was right. He hadn't trusted Thranduil for a minute and that guy would consider it as a pretty solid reason to lock him up in a dark dungeon forever if he would find out.
Alyssae wrapped her arms around him. Her bare upper arms were warm against his skin and he sniffed her fresh scent.
"Once we're out of Mirkwood," she whispered, "I kiss you for such a long time that blisters will remain."
Thorin chuckled. A pleasant feeling stirred in his stomach.
"And your fiance?" He asked doubtfully.
"My fiancee will have to take that for granted. There is only a short period of time that I can be with the one I want." She gave him a small kiss in his neck, after which he underwent a shudder. "But it's better than nothing."
Thorin touched her dark brown hair as he sighed. Although it was better than nothing, he knew that it definitely would not be forever. Sooner or later he would have to give her to an elf and he was not sure he would be able to do that. He already dared to suggest that he himself would behave anything but gentle when the time was there, but that was a concern for later. Then he had back Erebor. Then he had everything except Alyssae.
And now ... now he had only Alyssae. It was clear he could not have them both - but as it looked now, he had her in any case for a short moment and even if she would step into a marriage with Thranduin, he knew she stayed with him. In her mind. In his heart. He would have to live with that. The fate of two individuals who were forced to state the well-being of their people above that of themselves.