The Never Fading Light
Chapter 8: Hold On
Sasuke threw himself uselessly against the bars for what felt like the millionth time, teeth gritted in frustration as his bones ached from the strain. He couldn't feel anything besides the pain. None of his power. None of the chakra inside of him that made him a distinguished shinobi. It was locked away, just like he was. It was locked away while Itachi did who knew what travesties in his name.
How could he have been so stupid? How could he have set such a feral beast on one of his only friends? How could he have once again brought such travesty and ruin upon Naruto, without even really knowing him in this life? It was wrong, as were so many of Itachi's lessons. It was so wrong, and there was nothing he could do but wait. Itachi's bracelet secured to his wrist had assured that. He couldn't bring his other half to the surface, even if he stopped hiding. He couldn't bring him to the surface even if all he wanted to do was hide himself.
He gripped the bars in frustration, sliding down onto the floor as he glared at the adjoining wall. Itachi knew that this would happen. He knew he would be stuck in this body that wasn't even his. This was his lesson alone, not for the person who would probably actually take it to heart.
Naruto was his other half's soulmate. He was his alone, and Itachi was about to rip him away.
Who could blame him though? His Aniki watched him with someone else for 10 years. He saw him get fucked...saw him lose his virginity to someone other than him. Sasuke knew in his heart that Itachi had watched, they both got off on that perversion. He had watched...and he had done nothing. Sasuke glared, nails cracking as they dug into the pavement. All he had to do was figure out a way out of the cell. All he had to do was get through the forest and back to Konoha.
He didn't have the ability to open the cell reinforced with not only steel, but with chakra. If he couldn't get out on his own, he had to get someone to let him out. Sasuke had screamed in these cells before. No one had answered, but they were different back then. He had been Itachi's toy. He supposed in a lot of ways he still was, but this version had a specific purpose to draw Naruto in as bait. They didn't know what Itachi really wanted for him. If he could only get one of them in the room, he could tell them just how stupid Itachi was being at this moment.
Impulsive…
For him…
One last grand gesture that made his stomach spin, and his heart pound as he looked down at his hand where a ring should have been. His chest ached at the thought of what that ring had meant between them. He knew it meant his death, but Sasuke had loved every day he wore it. He had given it back to Itachi...even though it wasn't currently on his brother's finger. Sasuke banged his head against the wall. He wasn't able to believe that he was thinking about the fact that his brother wasn't wearing his engagement ring when he had locked him in a cell and set off to murder his friend.
What was he doing? Why didn't he have more control at this point? He had changed the world to garner his brother's affections, and he was in an even worse place than he had been when he left. They didn't love each other anymore. Had they ever really? Had Itachi ever loved him if he thought murdering his friend, the only person in that fucking village to ever be kind to him, would be a grand gesture?
"Funny I should find you here," Sasuke startled at the sound of the voice, glancing up in surprise at who had come to check the bear trap.
"Hidan," He greeted the masochist, pushing himself to his feet and backing up as he watched him warily. His mind flashed to the last time he had seen him...to the knife sliding down his flesh, and healing as it glided through like butter. Itachi had come for him then. He didn't think he would come for him now. Hidan meant pain, and he didn't want this fresh body to get covered in scars.
"I thought Itachi let you out," He teased, tattooed fingers thrumming along the bars as he paced in front of them.
"Would you believe I accidentally locked myself in?" Sasuke questioned, skin tingling at the feral way the masochistic shinobi was staring at him. ...He knew him. His other half had already experienced the man's 'art'.
"Not really," Hidan replied, grinning as he pressed against the bars, gripping them with each hand. "But then...I know your brother." Those dark eyes watched him, and Sasuke saw hunger in their depths. "Does he fuck you?"
"What business is it of yours?" Sasuke bit back, cheeks reddening in a way he didn't know was possible. Itachi had always made it very clear what they were to each other. From the first moment he had opened his eyes in this place he had marked his territory. The thought that they didn't know...that it was a dirty secret... was unnerving.
Hidan grinned, running a hand through his slicked back silver locks. "Not a denial then. We all saw the little show he put on...It was like he couldn't help himself." He leaned his forehead against the bars. "Like he had seen a ghost."
"I wasn't aware that one of my Aniki's kinks was wanting to fuck apparitions," He replied cheekily, taking a deep breath and taking a step closer. It wouldn't do to show him any fear. He didn't know the Hidan of this world, but he had known the one in his. He knew how to manipulate him, even if it would hurt.
"Such endearments," Hidan teased, reaching into the cage to twirl his finger around a spike. "Do you do it willingly, or is it one of those situations where he holds you down and tells you to bite the pillow?"
Sasuke sneered, taking another step closer so he could feel the warm breath that always seemed to smell a little like blood. "You act like him holding me down and making me bite a pillow couldn't be willing?"
Hidan groaned, gripping Sasuke's chin and pulling him close. "Look at that...you made my dick hard. Couldn't stop thinking about our little session," His free hand lifted up Sasuke's still bandaged and healing hand, and he realized it must have that dull ache because Hidan had broken all of his fingers. "It's been years since I just gave and didn't receive. I wanted to know why?"
Sasuke took a deep breath, trying not to panic at that hands gripping him, or the implication of what being vulnerable like this could possibly mean. "Maybe you've just become less selfish in your old age?" He suggested, causing Hidan to laugh.
"Nah, that can't be it," His eyes scanned his face, as if he would be able to see his secret. "Pein said your soul isn't quite yours. Said you're full of something else. Would explain why I couldn't connect with you,"
"Don't take it personally," Sasuke replied. "I've been told I'm hard to get to know."
"So cheeky," Hidan purred, finger trailing down Sasuke's. "What happens when I cut your face open...will you be cheeky then?"
"Depends," Sasuke murmured, leaning in so their foreheads were touching. "Are you going to leave my tongue intact?" His free hand trailed down Hidan's chest, fingers tracing over his belt.
"Oh...I like you," Hidan murmured. "Guess I gotta make you bite now," He motioned towards the cot. "Go get on your knees,"
Sasuke backed up at that, trying not to panic as flashes of Orochimaru and Kabuto filled his head. His heart was pounding in his chest as he did what he was told, waiting for the moment the door to the cell opened. His eyes had gone blank as the panic began to take him. There hadn't been any pain when had lived in the darkness. There hadn't been any memories. There hadn't been the knowledge that Hidan actually thought he could touch him and there wouldn't be any consequences.
But then again...Itachi had never staked his claim.
"You're going to get me in trouble," Hidan singsonged. " Usually I have someone keeping me on track...I tend to go overboard." Sasuke tried to focus on where he was now, and not to being chained in Orochimaru's bed chambers. He was brought back to the present when he heard the cell door slide open.
"You'll find I'm a very eager participant," Sasuke looked up as Hidan came in. "Always wanting to learn a new skill."
Hidan gave a laugh at that, running a hand over his own mouth in anticipation. "Well now...Can see why he likes you. It's funny though...you're not the scared little kitten who went under my knife a few weeks ago."
"Liar," Sasuke murmured, looking up. "I wasn't scared a few weeks ago. I torture and murder people for a living...I'm used to going under the knife." He was trying to trick him into admitting something. It wouldn't work.
"Yeah...guess you are," Hidan reached for his belt, frowning as he went to grab a kunai. "There's one missing…" He said out loud, and Sasuke took the opportunity to strike.
Sasuke swung his arm hard, taking Hidan by surprise as the kunai plunged deep into the side of his head. He followed the strike up with a kick to the chest, sending Hidan flying through the entrance to the cell and against the wall. He cracked his neck, walking over to the struggling body as he leaned down, straddling his waist. His eyes were red with Sharingan, rage pulsing through his veins even if chakra wasn't.
"Don't worry," He assured Hidan, petting the bloody mess that were his silver locks. "Someone will find you and take out the kunai...I just needed a head start. I actually do like you," He said, reaching down to grab another kunai out of Hidan's belt. "I get you...and I want us to be friends when I get back here with my brother. So I'll give you what you want," Hidan was trying to speak, but the kunai jammed in his cerebral cortex was preventing that. Sasuke jammed the kunai in Hidan's chest, dragging it as he filleted open his ribs, noticing the look of pleasure covering the man's face as he did. "That'll heal too...just didn't want to leave you hanging." He pocketed the blade. "And for the record...he absolutely does fuck me...and you know what…" He leaned into his ear, wondering if he could even hear it with the current brain damage to his remarkable body. "I love it,"
He removed the rest of Hidan's weapons, leaving him bleeding and happy on the floor. He wouldn't die...he didn't even know if Hidan could die. All he knew was that after Itachi found out what he had almost done...he's going to wish he could.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"I'm not asking you to break protocol!" Naruto exclaimed, having been at the ANBU headquarters for the last five hours trying to find out anything he could about where Sasuke had gone on mission. He hadn't heard from him in weeks. They always found some way to communicate with each other, even on extended missions. Something was wrong. He could feel it. Something had been wrong on his birthday, and he hadn't seen it. He had pressured him about having a fucking kid! What if he had run away? He was so weird when it came to commitments. He was so weird when it came to any mention of his clan, and his bastard of a brother.
The headaches had been getting worse. Sasuke had promised him they weren't affecting his missions, but how could they not be when they had been affecting everything else? Even their sex life. Sasuke tried to protect him, but he could see the pain. Hell, he was woken up almost nightly with his boyfriend's vivid dreaming. They never talked about it, and Naruto had accepted that. He loved Sasuke too much to give him an ultimatum and watch him leave. Sasuke pulled the wool over a lot of people's eyes when it came to his pain, and Naruto enabled him every step of the way.
"We can't tell you anything about missions, Uzumaki," The dark hair shinobi told him, her face was covered in a mask as all he could read was the distaste in her eyes. "Commander Uchiha knows better,"
"I'm not asking about the mission! I just need to get ahold of him," Naruto stressed. He couldn't tell them about the headaches, or the blackouts. Sasuke would never forgive him. "I just need to know if he's alright."
"Why wouldn't he be?" She asked, voice dead panned as she shot down his inquiry.
"Because people die on these missions!" Naruto exclaimed at her, not accepting that answer. "It's not too much to ask. I know you know how to contact him while he's out."
"We know how to connect with him while he's out," She repeated, however, there was a strange tone to her voice that sent his nerves on edge.
"Wait…" He murmured, blue eyes wide as fear gripped him. "He is out, isn't he?" Absolute dread incased his heart as he considered the possibility that the love of his life hadn't been on a mission for weeks...he had just been missing and he had been too dumb to notice. "Isn't he?" He asked one more time, begging her to give him any semblance of hope before the bottom dropped out of his world.
She stared him down, not seeming to realize that her response could crush him in all of his entirety. "I am not allowed to comment on any ongoing missions," She told him, and then seemed to consider this statement. "Commander Uchiha always has a good reason for what he does."
Naruto's knees quaked slightly at the confirmation, feeling close to vomiting as he realized the implications. Sasuke wasn't on a mission. Sasuke was gone ever since the night of his birthday. He had left him. He had left him…
"Thank you," He replied, feeling like he was on autopilot as he considered what he had to do next. He was out there with those Akatsuki scum, unprotected. He had left on purpose. For what? Because of the kid thing? He hadn't meant to pressure him. He just wanted him to commit. He just wanted Sasuke to look at him in the same way Naruto looked at him. He'd take it back. He'd take anything back if he would just stay. Why couldn't he stop running? Always to him...that man who had killed his parents. He thought maybe if he gave him a new family it would help. He tried to be his family…
Anger mixed with worry as he thought about the ring he had bought him. If Sasuke had only had patience. If he had only waited to see what Naruto had meant when he asked him. He never waited though. He was impulsive, and so angry all the time. He had probably ran off the second dinner had ended. The coward. He was such a coward sometimes it made him sick, and yet he ached to see him again so that he could beg for his forgiveness.
It didn't matter. He could decide whether or not he loved or hated him later. For now he needed to find out where the fuck he had gone to, and drag him home kicking and screaming. Then they would have a long talk about all of the fucked up reasons Sasuke needed to let someone help him.
He rushed to get to their apartment, knowing he could pack a bag and be out of the free territory in less than an hour. From there he would find his trail and track down where he could have possibly gone to.
Naruto burst through his door, failing to notice that it wasn't locked. He sped to a halt, however, when he saw the man standing in their living room. The man that almost looked like… "Sasuke?" No, there's no way his hair could have grown that fast. That meant...no...it couldn't be…
"One would think, given your intimate relationship, you would be able to tell the difference," The man turned to face him fully, and Naruto noticed a picture frame resting in his hand. "Where was this taken?" He questioned, and Naruto's brain struggled to catch up with its surprise.
"You're Itachi, aren't you?" He questioned, noticing the red clouds on his cloak that marked him an Akatsuki. "You're his brother,"
Itachi once more pointed to the photo, clearly choosing to ignore such an obvious question. "Where was it taken?"
Naruto glanced to the photo, recognizing it immediately. It was the day Sasuke had made Commander in ANBU. They had gone to the beach, and Naruto had made love to him 3 times in the sand. The picture he took was of Sasuke lying in the sand, smiling and happy. It was one of his favorites. Itachi, the bastard, didn't deserve the memory.
"On the beach," Naruto said, because that much was obvious. "What the hell are you doing here? Where's Sasuke!?" He asked more urgently.
"Noticed he was missing, did you?" Itachi questioned. "How long did that take before you realized he left you?"
The Kyuubi growled in his chest, and Naruto's eyes slitted with chakra as fury overtook him. "He didn't!"
Itachi's mouth tilted in amusement, smashing the frame on counter and ripping out the picture. "Really? I can see how sure you are," He tilted his head, and Naruto wanted to punch that smug look off his face. "What was it that you wanted from him? Children? He did laugh when he mentioned such absurdity."
A tail whipped out behind him as his temper flared, teeth growing as he began to growl. "What the hell did you do to him!? Where is he!?" Had they tortured him? Was he okay? How could Naruto have been so stupid to think he had been on a mission for weeks!?
"Nothing that he didn't ask for," Itachi shot right back calmly, seemingly not intimidated at the fact that he was staring down a monster. "So this is the life you gave him?" He questioned. "A modest apartment in a dead town?" He grinned, "No wonder he was so quick to leave you. Don't you know about my otouto's ambitions?"
"His ambitions?" Naruto growled. "He's the Commander of ANBU! He's one of the most powerful shinobi in our village!"
"Did you actually think that would be enough for him?" Itachi questioned, tearing down the walls he had built that made him think Sasuke was satisfied. That he was always telling the truth when he told him he was happy. "To lick at your boot straps? He is an Uchiha."
"Yeah?" Naruto growled. "Is that supposed to mean something to me? You bastards killed each other, and then abandoned him broken and alone!" Another tail emerged in his fury, claws extending as he continued to growl at this Akatsuki bastard. "He was a child! He had no one!"
"He's always had me," Itachi replied with, eyes flickering across the chakra, obviously trying to read the situation. "He's always been mine,"
"Fuck you!" Naruto spat, not understanding what this prick was talking about, but just wanting to break his jaw regardless. "Do you think anyone rational has bought the story Sasuke told? He was a child and he was scared. He was covering for his bastard of a brother!" Naruto screamed, hating this piece of shit more than anything. "This village knows what you did, even if he can't see it."
"He knows my sins," Itachi murmured back, and to Naruto's disgust he saw no sorrow or regret on his face. He didn't seem to care that he had just admitted to murdering all of his clan. He didn't give a shit that he had butchered his own parents, and left his brother a sobbing mess.
"I'll kill you," He growled, his chakra crashing against their walls. "I'll kill you, you bastard!" He lunged forward, claws slashing at that lifeless face, and snarling when the body disappeared into crows. "Coward!"
Naruto rushed around the apartment, looking for the tricky scum of a shinobi. He stopped short as he ran to the hallway, seeing Itachi standing in their room, staring down at his and Sasuke's bed.
"Did he kiss you first?" Itachi asked, not turning towards him as he continued to stare at his rumpled sheets. He had asked the question with such longing it made nausea rise up in his throat.
"You don't deserve to know a single thing about him," Naruto replied, palms dripping from digging his claws into his palm. "Not a single thing! Tell me where he is." Naruto started slowly. "Tell me now!" He screamed.
Naruto moved to claw his way through Itachi's spinal cord, but was grabbed from behind and yanked backwards. The Kyuubi reacted, spinning on the assailant as his teeth ripped through their shoulder. His eyes widened as he caught sight of the dark scared eyes staring back at him in pain as blood dripped on the floor.
"I'm right here, Naruto," Sasuke whispered, hand running down his face. His tails disappeared as he withdrew his teeth. "I'm here...I'm…." Naruto lunged then, grabbing the back of Sasuke's head and crashing his mouth against his, letting his bloody mouth devour the shocked one connected to his.
Sasuke shot back in alarm when those lips touched his. His eyes turned towards Itachi, wincing as the Mangekyou was swirling around in their depths. "Aniki...please don't...don't…" But his brother was always quicker than him. He was in front of Naruto in a second, and Sasuke clapped his hands over his ears as the blonde started screamed. "He didn't do anything wrong!" He screamed at him, rushing forward as Naruto collapsed and shoved Itachi back. "What the fuck is wrong with you!?"
Sasuke leaned down, checking Naruto's pulse, and grunted as his hair was grabbed from behind. He was dragged off of the body and back against Itachi's chest. "Do you honestly think your best course of action right now is to touch him?" He whispered into his ear, other hand gripping his neck in anger.
"I didn't kiss him," Sasuke argued, heart pounding in fear and worry. "He doesn't know who I am, Niisan. He thinks I'm his."
Itachi reacted at that, throwing him forward so that he landed on the bed. Sasuke caught himself, flipping over and coming up with a kunai, just as his brother descended on him. "You're not going to hurt him," He demanded. "Hurt me all you want, but he doesn't deserve this." His eyes flickered around, seeing evidence of him and Naruto everywhere he looked. Seeing this world he could have had if he wasn't completely and inexplicably Itachi's.
"He raped you!" Itachi hissed, those windmills still in his eyes as Sasuke tried to push down his fear and not look away. If there were tears running down his cheeks he was going to choose to ignore them.
"He didn't," Sasuke assured him, voice trembling. "It was a different world Itachi," He grunted as his hair was yanked again, exposing his neck and his still bleeding shoulder. "I wanted you back so bad, and I selfishly gave you your memories...not knowing how bad they would hurt you." He understood now. He understood how much pain his brother must have been in with the knowledge that could literally rip the universe apart. "I'm sorry," He begged forgiveness, shifting so that he fell back on the bed, taking Itachi with him. "But it isn't him. He never hurt me," That he knew about. Naruto for all he knew could be hurting his other half every single day. He ran his hands through Itachi's hair, breathing a sigh of relief when his eyes began to revert back. "If you kill Naruto...you will hurt 'him'. He'll be just as broken as me Itachi...can you live with that?"
"I'm not going to be the one that hurts him," Itachi's eyes turned dark as he watched Sasuke, lips pressing to his cheek as he sat up, pulling a dagger out from his belt. Sasuke felt like he was going to throw up, feeling all the color drain from his face as his eyes went blank. It was the same dagger he had used to stab Itachi. It was the same knife Itachi had used on Naruto the first time.
That was when the pain started. It exploded through his head as it felt like his brain was ripping apart. He wasn't aware he was screaming, almost deaf to the noise as he grabbed at his head, thrashing in the bed as the bracelet glowed on his wrist.
"Otouto calm down!" His brother's voice seemed to pierce the pain and noise, but it only amplified the feeling of being ripped apart. "Sasuke I can't hold you here if you don't calm down!" It only made him scream harder as the bracelet on his wrist kept him in this world, but the other part of him warred to get to the surface. He clawed his way up against Itachi's will.
Sasuke's mind flared as memory after memory collapsed into his brain. ANBU academy, training with Obito, sex with Naruto...amazing sex with Naruto. His body bowed as he thrashed, clawing at his wrist. "Take it off! Aniki it hurts! Aniki!" He begged his brother. He had to help him. He had to be decent for one time in his life and put him out of his misery.
"I don't want to lose you again," Itachi murmured as he felt hands on his head trying to comfort him. "You just have to calm down, Otouto. I need you," Not to calm down. Itachi needed him. He was his conscience. He was his soul.
Sasuke just couldn't stop disappointing him.
He could feel the change coming. His consciousness was beginning to revert. Through the pain he felt scared. What would Itachi do if he wasn't there to help him stop making stupid decisions? Who the hell was going to protect Naruto from his wrath, and from that dagger that could change everything? What was his other half going to think when he woke up with Itachi once more between his legs?
"I told you to calm down," Itachi growled in frustration, before turning the dagger and cracking Sasuke's temple in a last ditch effort to keep him there. Deep down as his consciousness staggered...He hoped it really hadn't worked.
,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.