You & I
Four
ARIZONA'S POV
Staring down at Eliza, lying on the couch beneath me, I'm not sure I've ever seen a woman so beautiful. I mean, I pass beautiful women on the street every day, but this? This is complete absolute beauty. Natural. Heart-stopping. This is intense beauty that only some people will ever experience in their lives. This beauty, is a beauty you only come across once in a life time.
She's watching me, watching her, but I can't stop myself. I can't stop staring. Smiling. Desperate to touch her. Even though I know I should, I can't. Suzanna is going to freak out, if and when she discovers what's going on here, but I'm past caring. I really am. If she can flaunt what she has during work, then I can do this in the privacy of my own home. A home I've never shared with her and a home I never will.
"You good?" I ask, my eyes studying her face.
"Y-Yes." She stutters, my legs now straddling hers. "You're sure this is the right thing to do?"
"What are you worried about?"
"Your wife. You. My job. Should I go on?"
"Don't worry about Suzanna." I lean down, my lips ghosting across Eliza's. "She isn't any of my concern right now..."
"But I feel like she should be," Eliza replies. "Don't you?"
"Not really, no." I pull back, unsure if she wants this to go any further. "Do you want to leave?"
"No." She fists her hand in my sweeter, pulling me back down against her. "But I do want to know how this is going to work..."
"Well, I figured I'd take this to the bedroom and go from there." I try to lighten the mood.
"I mean us, Arizona." She gives me a knowing look. "How are we supposed to do this?"
"Do we have to worry about that right now?" I ask, hoping the answer will be no. "I mean, I can think of better things to do."
"Am I going to lose my job?"
"No." I shake my head. "I won't allow that to happen."
"Because Suzanna listens to what you have to say, right?"
"If she wants to play her stupid games, then yes, she will have no choice but to do as I say."
"I really don't like this." Eliza sighs. "None of it is right."
"It doesn't feel right to you?" My stomach flips. "I need to know..." Climbing off Eliza, I take a seat on the edge of the coffee table. "Huh?"
"It does feel right." She reaches out her hand to me. "But I don't like knowing I can't be out with you in public." She sighs. "And I know...I know that makes me selfish, but I don't care."
"It doesn't make you selfish." My thumb trails her knuckles. "It makes you human."
"Still...what do I do?"
"Honestly, I don't know." I run my fingers through my hair, my eyes closing. "I've never been this into anyone else before. I usually just let it go..."
"So, I'm the exception?" Eliza raises her eyebrow.
"Mm, you are most definitely the exception."
"Then whatever you want...I'll do." She sits up, swinging her legs over the edge of my couch. "Whatever works for you."
"No." I disagree. "It doesn't work like that."
"That's the only way it can work, Arizona." She gives me a sad smile. "I don't like it, but I feel like you're worth it."
"That's sweet." My heart flutters.
"You seem like you're worth the hassle."
"I'm not." I laugh. "I'm really not."
"Why do you say that?"
"Look at me." I scoff. "I've spent years, married to a woman I don't love, just to keep the peace. To keep the business running smoothly. Who the hell does that?"
"Someone who cares about her business." Eliza takes my hand. "Someone with a heart of gold."
"Someone who's too scared to change, even though I know it's for the best."
"Maybe..." Eliza shrugs. "But I'm willing to see this through privately if you are..."
"What does that mean?"
"It means, I know I can't get close to you at work. It means I know we can't be out in public together. It means I care about you enough to do those things, hoping one day, you won't have to lie anymore."
"Stand up." I clear my throat, getting to my feet.
"Why?" Eliza stands slowly, worry settling in her eyes.
"Because I'm taking you to bed." Gripping her wrist, I pull her into my body. "Just like I've wanted to do since the moment I left you in that hotel room."
"You really don't care about what you saw last time?" I know she's looking for acceptance, but she gained that from me the moment I laid eyes on her. I don't care what's beneath her blouse. I don't care if she has scars from her past. I care about her. Her beautiful mind. Her intriguing self. I care about her health and her wellbeing.
"I care about you, Eliza." My hand cups her face.
"Really?" Her eyes hold unshed tears. "But why?"
"Because you're fucking beautiful," I say without hesitation.
"I'm still me." She whispers. I'm not sure she was supposed to say that out loud, but I appreciate her honesty. "I swear, I'm still me."
"I don't doubt that." I lean in, capturing her lips. "And I cannot wait to know you..."
Sitting on the edge of my super king size bed, Eliza is taking in the view outside my window and my heart is pounding hard. I don't know what she wants. I don't know if she's feeling uncomfortable. Yes, we've spent the night together before, but now that she knows I know about her past, I think she's panicking. I wish she wouldn't but I totally understand if she is. I want to ask her to come closer and I want to ask her to stay the weekend with me, but I don't want to spook her. I don't want her to feel obliged to stay.
She's been tugging at the hem of her blouse for some twenty minutes, it's clear to see she's thinking hard. I can't push this, no matter how much I want to, but I do need to know how she's feeling. I need to know so I don't do something she doesn't want me to do. Like, do I remove her clothes? Does she prefer to do that herself? Is she self-conscious every time she undresses in front of the woman she's dating? The woman who's seen her naked more than once? I don't know any of the answers to my questions and I don't know where to begin when trying to figure them out.
"What's it like?" I ask, clearing my throat. "When you take off your clothes, how does it feel?"
"Weird." She says without looking at me. "Abnormal."
"Have you dated much since your surgery?"
"No, you're the first." She glances over her shoulder. "So, this feels different."
"Different, how?"
"The ones who saw me naked never came back." Eliza turns to face me. "I didn't have to worry about doing it a second time around with them, because I didn't see them again."
"None of them?"
"No." She shrugs, her eyes focusing on the floor. "You're the only one who's seen me naked and agreed to see me again."
"That's fucked up." I furrow my brow.
"It's not the end of the world." She gives me a small smile. "It became my normal so I didn't bother trying anymore."
"Come here." I hold out my hand and Eliza takes it, closing the distance between us.
"Arizona, I just need to know that you're okay with this." She stands in front of me. "I'd understand if you're not. I'd understand if you'd rather I kept my clothes on."
Standing, my body mere inches from Eliza's, my left hand settles on her hip, my right, working the buttons on her blouse. I can see the fear in her eyes but I'm not concerned. I'm not a small-minded asshole who believes the world is all the same, and I know we all come in our own unique way. I understand that no two people are the same.
"May I?" I pop the last button, her blouse falling open.
"Y-Yes." She clears her throat. "If you want to."
Simply nodding, a small smile curling on my lips, I slip her blouse from her shoulders and drop back down onto the edge of the bed. Gripping her ass, I pull Eliza closer to me and my lips find the silky smooth skin of her stomach.
"Gorgeous..." I smile, her stomach tightening with each move I make.
"Wow..." She breathes out, now straddling my legs, still standing.
"You know, being with you is like a dream," I say, my tongue trailing up the center of her stomach. "You make me feel alive, Eliza." Placing open-mouthed kisses all over her skin, I can feel her heart beating. "You make me feel like one day, everything will be good again."
"I know that feeling." Her fingers find my hair, gripping the back of my head. "It's how I feel when I'm with you."
"You make everything else seem like a distant memory in my life." I admit."The marriage. The wife. The person I'm supposed to be comes alive when you're here."
Popping the button on her black, form-fitting pants, her black lace panties are now on display only for me. I want nothing more than to touch her but I feel like I should take my time. I feel like everything will happen how it's supposed to.
Sliding them over her perfect ass, Eliza kicks off her heels and steps out of them as they drop to the floor. I know she wants this and I know she trusts me, but I'm still wary about doing anything she may not like. I have to remember she's been through a lot. I have to remember that right now, it isn't as simple as stripping her clothes off. In time, it will be normal for us, but for the time being, she's delicate. God, she melts my heart.
"God, you're incredible." The words fall from my mouth so naturally, effortlessly. Gliding my fingertips up the back of her thigh, I feel her knees weaken. "And I really need more of you..."
"I don't have much more to give." Her voice breaks.
"You have so much." Deciding to be bold, I climb to my feet and turn Eliza, her knees connecting with the edge of my bed. Pushing her down gently, nothing but her underwear covering her body, I stand back momentarily and smile, her body drawing me in more so than before.
Climbing between her legs, I feel her tense a little but I'm not worried. It's to be expected if this is the first time another woman has come back for seconds. I know it doesn't fee the same to Eliza but I'm glad they didn't. It means I'm blessed to have her. It means I'm her first in some crazy fucked up way. It mean...she's mine.
Curling my fingers around the waistband of her panties, I slip them down her thighs and throw them to the floor. Her skin dark and smooth, the palms of my hands trail back up her thighs and settle either side of Eliza's body. A tiny tuft of dark curls sitting perfectly above her beautiful sex, I dip my head and press a kiss to get thigh.
"If you want me to stop...you say the word, okay?"
"Feels too good..." She whimpers, her hands finding my hair.
"Hey..." Climbing up Eliza's body, our legs tangled, I brace myself above her on my left hand, my right teasing the skin of her stomach. "Tell me what you want."
"You." Her head buries deeper into the pillow. "Naked. With me."
Climbing off her, my yoga pants are gone quicker than ever before, my sweater now lifting over my head, landing in the corner of the room. Climbing back on top of the gorgeous brunette in my bed, her hands find my waist, pulling me down against her.
"I need to be naked, too." Her lips brush my ear. "All of me..."
"Yeah?" I pull back, smiling.
Watching as her fingers toy with the clasp on the front of her bra, it falls open and my eyes find Eliza's. Her eyes are like staring into heaven, they really are. I can see the pain behind them. Her experiences. The uncertainty about herself and her body. To me, though...to me, Eliza and her body are perfect. Every inch of it.
"Is this okay?" She asks, her voice trembling.
"Perfect." I lean down, kissing her. "You are perfect."
Grinding my hips, and my sex against her, Eliza's wetness shocks me. She's soaked. Dripping, even. A low moan rumbling in her throat, I repeat the motion and her mouth falls open.
"Oh, god." Taking her bottom lip between her teeth, a smile settles on my mouth, my fingertips dipping between our bodies and gathering her arousal. "Shit."
"Fuck, that's hot." My own words more like a moan, my hand dips lower, toying with her entrance. "You're hot."
"A-Arizona." Her hips lift slightly. "Please..."
Shifting back, two fingers push deep inside her and her breath catches in her throat. I could spend my days watching her writhe on my bed, I really could. She's a masterpiece. An absolute goddess. "Fuck, you feel so good."
"Fuck." Gripping the sheet to the side of her body, I push deeper again, her walls throbbing around my fingers. Teasing her clit with my thumb, she trembles, her body begging for release.
"You wanna come..."
"God, yes." She whimpers. "All I've thought about is this moment with you again."
My left hand pushing deeper into the bed, I position myself over Eliza, sinking deeper with every thrust. Giving her body exactly what it desires. What it craves. What it needs. The first night I met her, I knew she was hot. I knew she was unbelievably gorgeous. Sharing a moment like this with her though, it's mind-blowing. This is nothing like what I've experienced with Suzanna, not in all the years we were together.
"I-I..."
"Let go, Eliza." My lips pressing against hers, my fingers don't lose their rhythm. My mind, totally focused on her, my arousal slipping down my thighs. "Fuck, I wanna feel you come."
"O-Oh." Her mouth falls open, our foreheads pressing together. "Don't stop." My pace increasing, the ability to move inside her isn't as easy as it once was.
"Shit, you're tight."
My words sending her body over the edge, her body trembles and shakes beneath me. Everything about her orgasm has me on the edge of my own but this isn't about me. It's about Eliza and feeling at ease with me. Whether that's clothed or naked, I need her to feel at ease.
"Oh god." My body dropping down on top of Eliza, her hands find my back and she holds me. She holds me like I've never been held before. "I feel like I can't get enough of you."
"T-Thank you." Her breathing evens out."F-For accepting me."
"Oh, Eliza." I lift my head, finding her eyes. "I wish you could see how beautiful you are…"
Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.