You & I

Thirteen

ARIZONA'S POV

God, she's here.

If I'm being completely honest, I didn't think I'd see Eliza again. I know she told me she wanted more when my divorce was finalized, but I still had that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as she left. I still wondered if that was it for us. I want her like I've never wanted anyone before, but I'm not prepared to sit around waiting. As much as I feel like I need her in my life, I'm done waiting for my time. I'm done asking myself questions about when I'll be happy. When someone will see me. When I won't be the one waiting and holding on. I'm done, but I hope Eliza won't ever learn that.

She doesn't need to. I know she has a lot going on in her own life, but I want to be a part of that, too. I want to be the one who she calls when she needs to talk. I want to be the one she chooses to have listen to her when she's having a rough day. I don't want that to come when Suzanna is gone from my life, once and for all. I want it now. I want her now.

"Hey…" Eliza clears her throat, coming from the bathroom. "Did, uh…did you want me to head home?"

We've just shared dinner together but it was quiet. Little to no conversation. Perhaps we're both working through things in our head, I don't know, but I don't like the silence. Silence means Eliza is unsure about this. If I've come to realize anything since I met her, it's that I don't want the uncertainty. Sure, if she thinks leaving is for the best, I wouldn't stop her…but if she's waiting for me to take Suzanna back, that won't do. I'd never put myself in a position with her ever again, I'm not that stupid.

"Did you want to go home?" I clear my throat, realizing I've been silent for too long.

"Not really…"

"Then stay." I arch an eyebrow. "Stay the night."

"Wasn't sure if you were still mad at me." She shoves her hands in the pockets of her jeans, closing the distance between us. Her eyes flicker to the coffee table between us, but I settle my hand on her thigh and her gaze returns to me. "I am sorry, Arizona."

"I know." I smile. "You keep saying…"

"Sorry, I'm probably pissing you off." She scoffs, laughing. "Just…I'd understand if you needed some time."

"Time for what?"

"To decide about us." Her voice trembles. "You know, after I walked away again…"

"Do you plan to do it in the future?" I ask, her hand settling on top of mine.

"No, I don't plan to ever leave you again."

"Then there is no more to be said about it." I shrug. "I love you, Eliza. I need you to understand that."

"But…how?"

"How do I love you?" I furrow my brow. "You've really no idea how much I love having you in my life, do you?"

"I guess not." She gives me an uncertain smile. "I mean, I know how good it feels being here…"

"So, can't that be enough?" I shift closer. "Do we really need to overanalyze everything or can we just try this? Be happy?"

"Y-Yeah." She nods. "Yeah, we can."

"Promise?" I lean in, capturing her lips. "Because I don't want to fight with you. I just want to love you…"

"Fuck…" Her forehead presses against mine. "You just…you make me feel like nothing else in this world matters."

"Because it doesn't." I smile against her mouth. "So long as you and I are happy…nothing else will ever matter."

"I have no job, Arizona."

"Yeah, there is that…" I sigh, pulling back. "I had an idea but you kinda already shot it down the last time I spoke about it."

"What idea?" Eliza looks at me confused.

"The bakery…"

"Yeah, you know that's a nonstarter." She sighs. "There's no way I can raise that kind of money. Not right now."

"So, let me help you…"

"No, I couldn't do that." She shakes her head, disagreeing. "No way."

"Why not?"

"Because it's a ridiculous idea." Eliza laughs. "Why the hell would you want to do something like that for me?"

"Because I love you. Because I want to see a smile on your face. Because it's your dream."

"At one time, yeah…"

"It will always be your dream." I cup her face, my thumb grazing her cheek. "I saw that look in your eyes the first time we spoke about it. I know you want it."

"Wanting it and having it are two different things, Arizona."

"Unless they're not." I narrow my eyes. "Open a bakery, Eliza. Make me happy by making yourself happy."

"I couldn't." She shakes her head slightly. "I appreciate the offer but I'm trying to keep my life as stress-free as possible. I just…I'm tired." She breathes out. "Since the moment everything ended and I got my life back on track, I've been so tired."

"Physically, or?" My forehead creases, worry settling in the pit of my stomach. "I mean, do you think it's anything to worry about?"

"No." She gives me a soft smile. "And it's nothing for you to worry about either."

"I think I'll always worry about you, Eliza." I have to be honest with her. The thought of ever losing her terrifies me. "But that's just who I am."

"I'm good." She turns her hand, lacing our fingers together. "I'm strong. I'm just so freaking tired."

"So, take a break…"

"How can I take a break?" She laughs. "I have a life to live. Rent to pay."

"Never mind that." I wave off her concern. "I've got you."

"No." She shifts uncomfortably. "No, you haven't."

Damn it. Why the hell is she so stubborn?

"Please?" I plead. "Let me help you."

"I don't need your help, Arizona." Her features soften. "I just want this…how we are."

"At least take a couple weeks?" I suggest. "We could both use a break. I mean, I know I could."

"And do what?" She arches her eyebrow. "Sit around when I could be making money?"

"Well, no." I sigh. "Never mind."

It's useless trying to get anything through to this woman. She's too stubborn and I'm wasting my time. I want to suggest a break somewhere. You know, get to know each other a little better, recharge before my divorce kicks in, but I know she will shoot it down before I've given myself the opportunity to speak.

"I, uh…I have some things to do in my office." I squeeze her hand, releasing it. "Give me twenty okay?"

"I can leave…"

"Please, don't." I stand, wrapping my arms around myself. "Stay. I just…I think you need a moment alone."

"For what?"

"To realize you're back here." I give her a sad smile. "To decide what you wanna do…"

"Arizona wait!" She stands but I round the couch, heading for my office. "Damn it!"

Flipping through some of the paperwork I received from my lawyer, I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying desperately to prevent a headache I can feel making itself known. Eliza hasn't bothered to come find me but I told her to take some time. I told her she needed to be alone. Seems it was the right thing to do as we're sitting in separate rooms right now.

I don't want to be in here but I also don't know what else to do. Shouldn't I be able to just whisk her away when I want to? Shouldn't I be able to suggest a night away, maybe even a weekend, without her defending her decision to say no? Honestly, I'm not sure I can handle her blowing me, or my ideas off. She knows what she wants and I have to respect that. I don't like it, but I do respect it.

"Arizona?" A light knock on my door pulling me from the paperwork in front of me, I turn in my seat to find Eliza leaning against the frame of the door.

"How long have you been there?"

"Little while." She shrugs. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." I nod, setting down the pen in my hand. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah." She nods, eyeing the view from my office. "Wow."

"Yeah, it keeps me sane." I smile, following her eyes. "Did, uh…can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm okay." Closing the distance between us, Eliza wraps her arms around me from behind, her chin resting on my shoulder. "I'm sorry…"

"For what?" My head rests back.

"Being a bitch." Her lips press below my ear. "Being miserable."

"You're not." I disagree. "Just…are you sure this is what you want? Me?"

"So sure." Her breath tickles my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. "Turn around, Arizona." Doing as she asks, Eliza straddles my legs, her arms wrapping around my neck. "You don't need to do anything for me, okay?"

"Okay." I drop my gaze. "I just like doing things for people, is all."

"I know." She curls her fingers under my chin. "It's one of the things I love about you…"

"But?" I find her eyes, soft and so very green.

"It isn't necessary." Pressing her lips to mine, Eliza tugs my bottom lip. "You know I want to be with you and that is the only thing that matters…"

"I wanted to get away for a few days…"

"I know." Eliza smiles. "But I'm here now so sleeping around isn't necessary."

"W-What?" I pull back, my brow furrowed. "Sleeping around?"

"Suzanna…she said it's code for sleeping around when you say you're going out of town."

"Actually, I meant with you." Pushing Eliza from my lap, I climb to my feet and move past her. "I wanted to take you away for a few days but I'm too freaking scared to ask because I know you'll blow me off!"

"A-Arizona." She grips my wrist as I attempt to leave my office. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

"Yeah, you did." I scoff. "But what else are you supposed to think? The night I met you…we slept together."

"And it was the greatest night of my life." Pulling me against her, Eliza backs up, dropping down into the seat I've just vacated. "Believe me when I tell you that."

"When I said I was leaving town earlier, I wasn't planning to sleep with anyone." My voice breaks. "I'm sorry you thought that."

"I didn't." She shakes her head, disagreeing. "Just…that's what she told me."

"Well, she's wrong." My eyes close. "She's so fucking wrong about everything I am. I want you to see that."

"I do see that."

"So, come away with me…"

"To where?" There is a slight whine in Eliza's voice that I don't like.

"You know, never mind." I give her my best fake smile. "I guess you need to look for a job and I should get this divorce going."

"To where, Arizona?" She stares me down. "Huh?"

"Eliza, it really doesn't matter." I squeeze her hand as she stands. "Just do your thing, okay?"

"No." Her body presses against mine, forcing me against the wall of my office.

"E-Eliza..." My breath catches as her hand slips up my tee. "Oh god..."

"Where are we headed, Arizona?" A smirk forms as she leans in closer, her breath washing over my lips. "Huh?" I have no answer because I'm not sure what it is she's trying to ask me. "Somewhere with a bed, I hope..."

"I-I don't know." My head is spinning, her perfume intoxicating.

"You must have somewhere in mind..."

"I still have mom and dads place." I whimper. "O-Out of town."

"Then I should go home and pack a bag, right?" Her tongue trails my bottom lip. "Maybe some sexy lingerie..."

"Jesus Christ." I look up to the heavens. "What the hell are you doing to me?"

"Nothing..." She captures my lips hard, moaning as her tongue slips past them. "I'm sorry I've been so hot and cold." She pulls back, her own breathing erratic as her hand slips past the waistband of my pants. "I just feel like you're too good to be true..."

"I'm here." My hand fists in her blouse. "You're here."

"Correct." She smiles into a soft kiss.

"Let me be the one for you...let me do what I think is right," I say. "No questions asked..."

"Okay." Her eyes closing when her fingertips connect with the wet heat between my legs, I'm pretty sure Eliza will agree to just about anything right now. "Fuck, you're soaked." Her fingers trail through my swollen folds.

"All because of you." I push her back and down into my office chair, straddling her legs. "Everything I've felt lately is because of you."

Pushing her hand back inside my pants, I'm thankful that they have some give in them. I don't generally lounge around in sweats but I didn't feel much like dressing up today. Not after what happened between us. "Shit." My breath catching as Eliza does unimaginable things to my body, my head falls back on my shoulders, my bottom lip between my teeth.

"I love having you to myself..." She pushes two fingers deep inside me. "Just us, like this."

"Mm..." It's all I can give her.

"I could spend my life locked away with you..."

"I wish you would." I whimper, her fingers curling and hitting that sweet spot. "Fuck!"

"You like that, huh?"

"Y-Yes," I reply breathlessly, my hands finding the arms of my seat either side of my girlfriend's body. "So good." Pushing her thumb against my clit, all breath leaves my body as I hold on for dear life. Every emotion, I'm feeling it. Every word we've ever spoken to one another, they're playing over in my mind. Eliza, she's everything to me. "I-I, oh god..."

"I could listen to you moan for me forever." Gripping the back of my neck, Eliza pulls me into a heated, animalistic kiss. Our tongues dueling and our hands roaming, my orgasm builds, the intensity too much to take. "Come for me, Arizona." Her words barely above a whisper, Eliza mumbles against my mouth and my body gives out on me, writhing, shaking. "Fuck, just like that." She smirks against my lips. "So good."

"Jesus, fuck." Biting down on my girlfriend's bottom lip, Eliza moans, sending fresh arousal from my already throbbing, soaked sex. "God, you're something else."

"About that get away..." Our foreheads press together. "You still up for it?"

"More than ever." My eyes bore into her soul. "Like you couldn't imagine…"

Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.