A/N: Hey everybody, here's a new chapter! I am going to try my best for monthly updates at the very latest, possibly every few weeks, we'll see how things go. Another thing I forgot to mention before is that there will be chapters from Fili's POV as well, or at least parts of chapters, starting with the next chapter. I may also do some from Kili and Lily's POVs, though I haven't fully decided on that yet. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed the first chapter and will enjoy this one as well!
Thanks to everybody who's favorited and followed so far, I'm really glad you all like it! Also thanks to my anonymous guest reviewer, this will definitely be fun :).
Again, don't read this story if you have anything against swearing or the lemons that will occur in the future.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Hobbit, either movies or books, just my characters and the rest of this story!
Chapter 2: Can We Go Back?
"You lied to us, Gandalf," Alison hissed. As soon as they could, the two of them had pulled Gandalf off into Bilbo's study to talk, leaving the dwarves to destroy Bilbo's pantry and leaving Bilbo alone to try to stop them. Alison couldn't care less at the moment, however, for it was rapidly becoming clear that this wasn't a dream, and that was far too frightening for her to contemplate. "You said this was a dream!"
Gandalf frowned at her, looking stern. "I did not lie to you, Miss Alison. As you may recall, I simply stated that if this was indeed a dream, you should enjoy yourself. You did not seem willing to accept the reality of your situation, and I had little time to waste."
Alison gaped at him, her mind quickly flicking back to their earlier conversation and realizing he was right; he hadn't ever come right out and said it was a dream. She'd just been willing to go along with it, and had only heard what she'd wanted to hear. Bloody hell! Then, that meant . . . No. No!
"Then . . . we really are dead," Lily said quietly, looking pale as she sank down into one of Bilbo's overstuffed armchairs, echoing Alison's thoughts. "And we really are here in Middle Earth. But, Gandalf, how is this possible? This is all just a story, made up by JRR Tolkien and made into movies by Peter Jackson. How can we really be here if it's not real?!"
"I assure you, Miss Lilith, it is very real," Gandalf replied gravely. "It is not a story made up by this Mr. Tolkien of yours at all, as you must have realized by now. This Mr. Tolkien was simply gifted with glimpses, visions of this world, that he chose to make into works of fiction in your world. But all of the events he recorded are – and will be – very real."
"And what about the movies?" Alison demanded, trying to make some sense out of all of this crazy shit, and trying very hard to focus on anything but the thoughts of what their deaths in their own world would mean. "How did Peter Jackson get all of the details oh-so-bloody perfect? Because you look identical to the movie, and so does Bilbo and all of those dwarves out there!"
"Your Mr. Jackson was much the same," Gandalf explained, apparently choosing to ignore the angry edge to her voice. "When he spent so much time focusing on those stories and their events, he was given glimpses into our world as well, allowing him to accurately re-create the details of those events and the people involved. Sometimes travel between our worlds or other worlds is possible, especially when aided by magic, as your trip here was; sometimes one is merely allowed to view another world through a crack, as it were. A person may deal with those glimpses however they choose; most often they are viewed simply as imagination, and turned into stories. Sometimes, a story may just be a story; other times, as in the case of your Mr. Tolkien and many other authors of your world, it is a recording of very real events in other worlds. And yes," he continued, obviously knowing the question that was on Alison's mind now, "your world has been written about in other worlds as well."
God only knows why. Alison considered Gandalf's explanation; crazy as it was, it did make a certain amount of sense when she thought it through. Which meant Middle Earth was actually real, and they were really here, in Bilbo's house, at the start of the quest for Erebor. And everything she'd seen in the movies and read in the books was really, honestly going to happen, right down to the dragon and the danger to life and limb. She might have thought she wanted an adventure, but being faced with it now, and with the thought of being dead in her own world and all that might mean, was downright terrifying. Lily, as if thinking the same thing, reached out and gripped her hand tightly, looking panicked. "Gandalf, can we go back?" Alison asked softly, pleading with the wizard to say yes.
He shook his head, looking very sombre as he met their eyes. "I am afraid you cannot. Both of you are, for all intents and purposes, deceased in your own world. Your family members have already begun to grieve your deaths, left with the illusions that are your bodies in that world. To send you back now would destroy the balance of the universe, which could bring about the destruction of all the worlds. It is simply not possible. I am very sorry."
Tears were streaming down Lily's face now as she gripped Alison's hand tightly; Alison firmly and angrily pushed her own tears - and terror - down. She would deal with how she felt later; she refused to cry in front of anyone if she could help it, and there was far too much to do right now, and too much she still needed to understand. "But we're not dead here?" she asked, frowning as she gently squeezed Lily's hand in return.
"You are not," Gandalf confirmed. "Here in Arda, you have both been granted a second chance to live out your lives. However, if you do not wish to assist in the quest for Erebor, I will not force you. The decision is entirely your own; you are not obligated to help simply because I brought you here. I am afraid you must decide quickly, however. Thorin will be here soon; I will give you a moment alone to make your final decision." So saying, he walked out of the room, leaving both girls shell-shocked in his wake.
Lily swiped at the tears on her face, having let go of Alison's hand, and took deep breaths before looking up. "Ali, if we can't go back, that means – "
Alison held up a hand to interrupt her. "I know what it means, Lil." It meant they would never see their family, their friends, or their home, ever again. But it was something she simply refused to think of right now; the thought of everyone and everything they'd left behind was too much for her to contemplate without breaking down, and they didn't have time for that right now. "It means we need to decide what we're going to do. All of this is very real, which means the dragon and all the other dangerous parts are real too. What do you want to do? We can stay here, or go somewhere else; we don't have to help. Gandalf said so."
Lily took a deep breath, running her hands through her hair, and appeared to be deep in thought for a long moment before she finally said, "I want to help. I know it's going to be dangerous, but since it's real, it means they're real – and they're really going to die."
They're really going to die. Kili, with his brash eagerness and bright smile; Fili, with his loyalty to his brother and his heated blue eyes; and Thorin, the leader who had fought so hard for a life for his people, even through all the tragedy that had befallen him. They would all die. Just like he died, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Alison bit her lip hard, swallowing the tears that were forming a lump in her throat. She might not have been able to do anything about Chris, but if Gandalf was right, she could do something about Fili, Kili, and Thorin. Even when she had only thought them fictional characters, she had never liked their deaths; how much worse would that feeling be now that she knew they were real people, with real hopes and dreams? She would never be able to live with herself if she didn't at least try to help, and it wasn't like she had any other purpose in life now. Terrifying as the thought might be, she had to help. She had to go on this quest and try to save them, and hopefully not get herself, or more importantly, Lily, killed in the process.
She nodded firmly, meeting Lily's eyes. "You're right. They're really in trouble, and we might really be able to help them. So let's do it. Let's go on this quest, and let's do everything we can to save them."
She turned to leave the room and rejoin the others, but Lily grabbed her arm. "Wait, Ali."
Alison turned back, frowning as she looked at Lily, who had finally stood up from the chair. "What is it?"
"Now that you know this is all real, you must realize it's a bad idea," Lily replied firmly.
"What's a bad idea?" Alison asked, though she knew perfectly well what Lily meant.
"Your 'fun' with Fili," Lily retorted with a roll of her eyes. "He's a real guy, Ali, and I don't want to see you get hurt if you get involved with him and we can't save him. I don't want to see you go through something like that ever again."
"And you won't. I told you, I'm not going to get involved, just have some fun. You know I don't do serious relationships, not anymore." Not since Chris, was what she didn't add, but she knew Lily heard the unspoken words all the same. "This is just going to be a fun little fling, and the fact that he's real just makes it that much better."
Lily sighed, shaking her head. "So maybe you can keep your feelings out of it, but what if Fili can't? How would that be fair to him?"
"Come on," Alison snorted. "You don't actually think he's going to take this seriously, do you? He's a future king, heir to the line of Durin and all that. Here, I'm nothing but a – a half-breed and a commoner. Not the sort of girl that a prince would have a serious relationship with."
"You're assuming he'll think of it that way. What if he doesn't?" Lily demanded.
Alison shrugged. "Then I'll explain to him before this goes anywhere that it's going to be nothing but a fling. And if he doesn't think he can do that, then I'll back off. But please, Lil, can you just leave this alone? I need something to distract me from . . ." she took an unsteady breath, forcing her feelings down again, ". . . from everything we've lost. Can you just let me have this?"
Lily studied her closely. "If you really think this is what you want, that this will make you feel better, then yes, I'll leave it alone. I just don't want you – or Fili, for that matter – getting hurt."
"And we won't, I swear," Alison promised. "If it looks like things are getting serious, I'll put the brakes on. But this is what I want."
"Then fine," Lily said with a nod. "I'll let you do what you want, but I still think it's a bad idea."
"Your objection is duly noted, cuz," Alison replied with a grin, slapping her on the back. Lily had always been the cautious one, ever since they were kids, but Alison had almost always been able to talk her into going along with whatever she objected to.
"Sister, remember?" Lily whispered, glancing to the door. "We're supposed to be sisters here, and we have to remember to keep our stories straight."
"Oh, right." Alison nodded, remembering the story that Gandalf had come up with; he had thought it would be best if they posed as sisters, born to a dwarven father and human mother, saying that it would be more likely than half-dwarf cousins, both born to a dwarf and a human. One such pairing was rare enough; two would be virtually unheard of. The girls had assured him it would be easy enough to pose as sisters, as they were basically sisters in all but name. She would have to watch herself closely, however, to make sure she didn't slip up in front of the dwarves. "Let's go," she prompted Lily, heading for the door again.
They made their way out of the study and back into the main hall, just in time to see Thorin circling Bilbo in the hallway, saying wryly, "He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." He looked to the other dwarves in the hallway, who all laughed at his words, making Bilbo frown.
Alison noted that Thorin, too, looked just as she'd expected; long, dark hair, a short beard, both woven with braids, and an intense look in his eyes that was surprisingly intimidating. He wore a dark tunic with an elaborate belt and mail beneath; his gaze swung to them as soon as they entered the hall, spotting them almost immediately, just as Kili had done. "Who might the two of you be?" His tone was even, his expression unreadable, and Alison couldn't decide if he was pissed the two of them were here for his secret meeting or not.
"Ah, excellent," Gandalf exclaimed, making his way towards them. He cast them a quick, questioning glance and Alison nodded in reply, causing the wizard to beam before he turned back to Thorin. "As it happens, Thorin, I have found two more companions who might aid us in our quest."
"Quest?" Bilbo asked. "You're going on a quest?"
No one answered him, however, for Thorin said almost at the same time, "Women, Gandalf? What sort of aid can two women possibly provide?"
Alison bristled, about to tell him just where the hell he could shove his derisive tone, but Lily elbowed her sharply, cutting her words off as Gandalf replied mildly, "Far more than you might think, Thorin. Miss Lilith here is a seer; she has had visions of the quest that will be most helpful in determining the best course of action."
Thorin snorted. "A seer? You expect me to believe this woman has visions of the future?"
Alison glanced at Lily, silently telling her to let Thorin have it with a nod of her head. This had been part of their plan for showing their worth for the quest, and hopefully a way to change the outcome as well. Lily was to pose as a seer, to explain how they had so much knowledge of the quest and its outcomes; Alison was going to offer her help as a healer. Alison was a veterinary nurse, and while strictly speaking that meant she'd only trained in animal medicine, a bleeding wound was a bleeding wound no matter the species, and many other principles were quite similar. The biggest problem was going to be the lack of modern medicine, but she'd learn from Oin what passed for antibiotics and pain medications here. She'd always been a fast learner, and they were going to help in any other way they could, as well. Lily's role as a seer, however, was likely going to be the deciding factor. Alison just hoped she could convince Thorin.
"And why not, Thorin Oakenshield?" Lily demanded, taking a few steps forward. "You believed Oin when he read the portents to you, the portents that say now is the time to reclaim Erebor from Smaug, to take back your birthright. Why do you find it so hard to believe that others can see your future? Should I convince you by telling you I already know the outcome of your meeting in Ered Luin?"
Thorin glared at her, taking a few steps forward as well, anger burning from his gaze. "You cannot possibly know that; I have yet to tell anyone of the outcome."
"No?" Lily raised her eyebrows, and Alison stifled a grin, impressed with the act she was putting on; she'd clearly been as annoyed as Alison had been by Thorin's dismissal of them. "So I couldn't know that the envoys from all seven kingdoms were there, and that they all refused to help? That Dain and the dwarves from the Iron Hills won't come? That they say this quest is yours and yours alone?"
Thorin's eyes flared briefly with alarm and surprise before anger descended again, and he stalked towards Lily. Gandalf, however, quickly stepped between the two just as Thorin shouted, "You have been spying on me!"
"Do not be ridiculous, Thorin," Gandalf said coldly, before Alison could leap to Lily's defense. "They have been with me ever since they arrived in this land, save for a few hours here at Bilbo's home; they could not possibly have been spying on you. It is merely as I told you; Miss Lilith here has been plagued with visions of your quest, and so they journeyed here from their home, far away, to help."
"And just who are they, Gandalf?" Thorin demanded. "And why do they dress in such an odd fashion?"
Alison wanted very badly to tell him they could speak for themselves, but Gandalf had been quite specific about letting him handle the introductions and letting him convince Thorin, so she kept her mouth shut, glancing down at her jeans and T-shirt and wondering if they were really that bad, as the wizard replied smoothly, "They are friends of mine, Thorin. I have known their family for quite some time now, as I have known Bilbo's family. They are Miss Lilith and Miss Alison Evans, born to a dwarven father and a human mother, and as their father did not teach them anything of their dwarven heritage, they had hoped to learn in exchange for aiding you on this quest. And, of course, Miss Lilith hopes that if she aids you, she will no longer be plagued by visions of your company and your quest. As for their choice of clothing, they come from a very isolated community far to the north, which has very different customs and habits."
Thorin appeared to be contemplating Gandalf's words before his gaze swung to Alison, who did her best not to shrink from the sudden intensity of his stare, straightening her back up and squaring her shoulders. "And you, girl. If your sister is a seer, as she says, how will you aid our quest?"
"I have some skill as a healer," Alison returned evenly. "And I am willing to learn everything I can of your healer's methods, as well. We'll do anything we can to help; cooking, sewing, gathering firewood, whatever you ask."
"I expect you do not know how to fight?" Thorin asked levelly.
"No," Alison admitted reluctantly, "but we're willing to learn that too. And we don't expect anyone to be responsible for our safety. We know how dangerous this will be, and we know we can die, and we won't blame anyone if that happens."
"We can teach them to fight, Uncle," Kili offered, and Thorin glanced sharply over at his nephews, his gaze softening slightly. Alison looked over at them too; she'd almost totally forgotten about their audience. All of the dwarves were watching the exchange with fascination, curiosity, and some with open skepticism or even suspicion, in Dwalin's case. Fili looked to be both curious and slightly amused, while Kili just looked eager and excited; Thorin nodded slightly at his nephew before he swung his gaze back to Alison and Lily. "And just why would you willingly put yourselves in danger to aid in our quest?"
"Because we want to help, and we can," Lily replied firmly.
"And you need it," Alison added. "And we don't want anybody to die; if we can stop that, we will."
She thought she saw surprise in Thorin's gaze before he glanced quickly over at the other dwarves again and back to them. "And what of your father, or your husbands? What do they have to say of this?"
Alison rolled her eyes, completely unable to stop herself. "We don't have husbands, and our father is proud of us for wanting to help," she retorted when she could manage a sentence without swearing at Thorin. Or he would be, if he knew anything about it. Her father would be proud, anyway; Lily's father wasn't really in the picture anymore, so she had no idea what he would have thought, or if he would even care.
Thorin looked up at Gandalf. "And you are certain, Gandalf, that we can trust them?"
"Quite certain, or I would not have brought them here in the first place," Gandalf answered, the slight edge in his tone indicating he was losing his patience. "And it would be most unwise to turn down help so freely offered, Thorin Oakenshield."
The two men stared at one another for a long moment before Thorin finally nodded. "Very well, they may come if they wish. Now let us get started." He turned and walked towards the other dwarves, Dwalin showing him the way to the table the others had recently cleared off, though it looked like they'd at least saved some for Thorin.
Alison and Lily followed the dwarves and Gandalf, who had beamed at them as if to say he was quite proud of their performance; Bilbo trailed along at Alison's other side, looking flabbergasted. "What is going on?" Bilbo hissed. "These dwarves are going on a quest? And you're going with them?"
"Don't worry, Bilbo," Alison whispered to him as the dwarves all began to seat themselves around the table, while Thorin sat at the head with a plate of food in front of him, which he quickly began to tear into. "They're just about to explain everything, so just listen close, okay?"
Bilbo nodded, looking positively overwhelmed as Gandalf gestured to him, asking for a light which the hobbit scurried off to find. Meanwhile, Fili had approached Alison, giving her a quick bow again. "Miss Alison, I hope you do not mind, but my brother and I have saved seats for you and your sister." He pointed to the bench behind him, where Kili was patting the empty bench next to him, grinning widely at Lily, who was blushing again.
"Seriously, it's just Alison," Alison told him again firmly. "And no, we don't mind at all. Come on, Lil." She pushed Lily ahead of her, and Lily reluctantly took the seat next to Kili, while Alison sat down next to her, with Fili taking the last space at the end of the bench on Alison's left. Alison smiled to herself, quite pleased with the arrangement, for Fili was sitting far closer than was strictly necessary, his thigh brushing hers, giving her back those tingles and butterflies she hadn't felt in far too long.
"My brother and I were most pleased to hear you and your sister would be joining us on our journey," Fili whispered in her ear, making her shiver a little in spite of herself. She could hear Kili peppering Lily with a barrage of questions about being a seer on her other side as Fili continued, "It would seem our good fortune continues, if we will be gifted with the presence of such lovely ladies on our way to Erebor."
Oh, you have no idea how lucky you're about to get. She smiled up at Fili, surprised at how much she was affected by his words, for she almost felt like she wanted to blush at his compliment. "Flatterer," she teased him lightly, making him grin in reply as she added, "It's a shame your uncle doesn't agree."
"Oh, Uncle will come around," Fili murmured. He looked like he was about to say something further, but at that moment Bilbo returned with a lit candle, and Gandalf unfolded a map on the table, causing Fili to turn his attention back to the others.
Alison couldn't quite see the map from where she was on the opposite side of the table from Gandalf, but she knew it was the map, showing Erebor and how to get back in. She didn't really bother to listen as the dwarves and Bilbo began to discuss the portents and Smaug, instead glancing around the table and studying all the dwarves as she made sure she still remembered who was who.
Her attention was abruptly diverted back to their conversation, however, when Fili banged his fist on the table next to her, declaring, "We may be few in number, but we are fighters, all of us, to the last Dwarf."
"And you forget," Kili added eagerly from the other side of Lily, "we have a Wizard in our company. Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time."
Gandalf looked slightly alarmed as all the dwarves suddenly turned to stare at him, stammering around his pipe, "Oh, well, no. I wouldn't say –"
"How many, then?" Dori demanded, leaning forward to stare at Gandalf accusingly. "Well, how many dragons have you killed?"
An argument almost instantly erupted among the dwarves as Alison muttered to Lily, "I bet we've killed more dragons than Gandalf has."
Lily snorted, whispering back, "I think they mean real dragons, Ali."
Alison grinned and shrugged, just as Thorin barked out something in Khuzdul that caused every dwarf in the room to shut up instantly, as though he'd flicked a switch. He stood up, staring down the table at all the dwarves as he said evenly, "If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon, Smaug, has not been seen for 60 years. Eyes look east to the mountain, assessing . . . wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor? Du-bekar! Du-bekar!"
Damn, Alison thought in wonder as the dwarves erupted into cheers. Thorin sure knew how to give a rousing speech, if nothing else. She half felt like cheering herself after he'd finished, and it wasn't even the first time she'd heard the speech, only the first time she'd heard him deliver it in person. Of course, Balin chose that moment to be the voice of reason, interrupting the cheering as he declared, "You forget, the Front Gate is sealed. There is no way into the mountain."
"That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true," Gandalf replied as he pulled out a large, elaborate key from his robes.
Thorin stared at the key, clear shock and awe printed across his face. "How came you by this?"
"It was given to me by your father. By Thrain. For safekeeping. It is yours now," Gandalf told Thorin as he handed the key over.
"If there is a key, there must be a door," Fili declared to the room at large.
Alison could barely suppress a snort at the obviousness of that statement, whispering in Lily's ear, "It's a good thing he's so pretty."
Lily elbowed her in the ribs even as she was unable to muffle a giggle herself, and soon both girls were trying to suppress giggles as Gandalf and the others continued to discuss the door that would get them into Erebor. Fili looked down at Alison curiously, and she was finally able to contain her giggles, smiling innocently up at him. He raised his eyebrows at her, but when she didn't say anything, he shrugged and turned his attention back to the others, who had begun to argue over Bilbo's burglar abilities.
"Me?" Bilbo exclaimed, sounding dumbfounded as all the dwarves were now staring at him. "NO. No, no, no. I'm not a burglar. I've never stolen a thing in my life."
Balin nodded at this response. "Well, I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins. He's hardly burglar material."
"Aye, the Wild is no place for gentle folk – or women –" Dwalin added pointedly, staring at Alison and Lily, "who can neither fight nor fend for themselves."
Alison resisted the very childish urge to stick her tongue out at Dwalin or flip him off – or both – as the dwarves began arguing again, causing Gandalf to stand up. Darkness began to emanate from him along with a loud rumbling noise as he suddenly seemed to grow taller, filling the entire corner of the room as he boomed, "Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is."
The argument ceased abruptly as all the dwarves stared at him in alarm. Alison couldn't quite suppress her own alarm; again, she'd seen that part before, but it was ten times more intimidating in person, especially as she'd never seen anyone actually change their size in real life. Gandalf almost immediately reverted back to his normal size, however, now that all the dwarves had quieted down, and continued in a much calmer voice, "Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most, if they choose. And, while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of Dwarf, the scent of a Hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. I have also chosen two more members that I believe will be most valuable, whatever your opinions might be," at this Gandalf glared pointedly at Dwalin, who nodded reluctantly before Gandalf went on, "There's a lot more to him – and to Miss Alison and Miss Lilith - than appearances suggest. And Bilbo has got a great deal more to offer than any of you know. Including himself." Gandalf switched his pointed stare to Thorin. "You must trust me on this."
Thorin, too, nodded reluctantly after a long moment. "Very well. We will do it your way." Thorin turned to Balin, waving his hand. "Give him the contract. And you will need to draw up two more for the women, as well."
Balin nodded as he stood up, declaring, "It's just the usual. Summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth." He handed the rolled-up contract to Thorin, who passed it to Bilbo.
Knowing what was about to happen next, Alison decided it would be a good time for her to interfere. She proceeded to climb over Fili out of her little corner, although she brushed up against him far more than was really necessary as she went over his lap. She felt more than heard the soft groan he gave as her breasts brushed against his chest, and the sound vibrating through her was enough to fire her own blood as she met his eyes, giving him a wicked grin and a wink as he stared down at her with lust blazing out of his eyes. Oh, this was so going to be worth it, she thought as she finally stepped over him, hurrying over to Bilbo's kitchen as soon as she was out of the corner.
She came back with a rolled-up cloth soaked in cool water and a small stool just as Bilbo was bending over, gasping for breath as Bofur unhelpfully described Smaug in detail. "Sit down, Bilbo," she ordered him gently, pressing down on his shoulder and steering him to the stool.
He sat down willingly as she instructed him, "Put your head between your legs and take deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth." She laid the cloth across the back of his neck as he did so, noticing that Fili had stood up and was letting Lily out of their corner as well.
"I'll go make him some tea," Lily said, and Alison nodded as Bilbo took deep breaths in and out, still clutching the contract in one hand. "And you," Alison added, glaring sternly at Bofur who was opening his mouth again, "need to stop being incredibly unhelpful, got it?"
Bofur grinned and nodded at her, his odd hat bobbing as he replied, "Aye, lass, I hear you."
Alison noticed that Gandalf was smiling at her approvingly as he stood up and came over to them, while Thorin had glanced questioningly at Oin, who nodded at him in return, looking appraisingly at her. Obviously he approved of her methods so far, she thought wryly.
"How are you feeling, Bilbo?" she asked him quietly.
He looked up at her, smiling sheepishly. "Better, I think. Thank you. I think I'd like to go sit in my study for a bit."
"Of course," Alison agreed, nodding. With Gandalf's help, she steered Bilbo, who was still a bit wobbly, into his study where he sank down into the chair Lily had sat in earlier. She sat down in a chair herself while Gandalf began to try to talk Bilbo into going with them on the quest.
Lily came in about midway through Gandalf's story about a Took creating golf, handing Bilbo a cup of tea on a saucer. He smiled at her in thanks as she came over to sit on the arm of Alison's chair, listening to the rest of Gandalf's rather embellished story. The two listened quietly to the conversation until Bilbo finally met Gandalf's gaze head-on and demanded, "Can you promise that I will come back?"
Gandalf hesitated for a moment before he replied reluctantly, "No. And if you do, you will not be the same."
"We can promise you'll come back," Lily piped up, and Alison glanced up at her in surprise before she nodded in agreement, smiling at Bilbo. "We'll keep an eye out for you. Lily will be able to see any danger before it comes."
Bilbo looked at them in surprise for a long moment, while Gandalf glared over the top of his head, before he finally shook his head. He had looked very tempted at their offer, but it obviously wasn't enough, Alison realized as Bilbo said quietly, "Thank you for the offer, I appreciate it. But it appears I am not as brave as the two of you." He looked up at Gandalf, adding, "Sorry, Gandalf, but I can't sign this. You've got the wrong Hobbit." With that, he stood up from his chair and walked out of the room.
Gandalf walked over to their chair, hissing quietly, "What did I tell you about revealing what you knew to others? You must be very careful not to reveal too much information to anyone!"
"We didn't say anything about what was going to happen," Alison protested.
"Only that we could see to it that he'd come back, but not how or what would happen along the way," Lily added. "We just wanted to give him a little reassurance before he came along."
Gandalf sighed, the anger fading from his expression. "I realize you meant well, but you must understand that it is very dangerous for a person to know too much of their own fate. You must only reveal the information you know in bits and pieces, and you cannot go telling someone whether they will live or die. Do you understand?"
"Yes, of course, Gandalf," Lily answered quickly, nodding. "We'll be more careful."
"Sorry, Gandalf," Alison added. "We'll watch what we say."
"See that you do," Gandalf replied before he swept from the room.
Lily hopped off the chair, sighing. "I'm going to get some tea for myself."
Alison stood up as well, waving her hand. "Go for it. I think I need something a little stronger."
They both left the study, Lily heading for the kitchen while Alison headed for the barrel of ale in an alcove off the hallway. She wasn't much of a beer fan, but it wasn't like she could ask for a shot of vodka here, anyway. And besides, ale and beer were at least a little different, weren't they? She was filling up a mug, her back to the rest of the hallway, when a voice said behind her, "How did you know Mr. Baggins was going to faint?"
"Oh, Jesus Christ!" She jumped in her shock, spilling half the mug of ale as she whirled around to see who was behind her. Fili stood there, looking down at her with another half-amused, half-curious expression, making her realize he was a few inches taller than her current short self as well. She hadn't even heard him coming; weren't dwarves supposed to be loud or something?! "God, Fili, could you try not to scare me half to death next time?"
"My apologies, Miss –" he began, hand over his heart, but when she raised her eyebrows, staring at him pointedly, he amended, "uh, just Alison, that is. I did not mean to startle you. But you did not answer my question. How did you know Mr. Baggins was going to faint? You came back with exactly what you needed to keep him from fainting."
Shit. Trust Fili to be more observant than she'd expected, in spite of his Captain Obvious comment earlier. "He was already looking pretty sick," she improvised quickly. "And when the funeral arrangements part was mentioned, I thought he might start feeling faint and I should be prepared. That's all."
"Hmm." Fili studied her for a long moment, looking as if he didn't quite buy her explanation, and she realized she was going to have to be really careful about revealing how much she knew. Lily was supposed to be the seer, not her, so she'd have to be careful about keeping her own mouth shut – and not doing anything that would make it so obvious that she knew what was about to happen. Fortunately, Fili apparently decided not to press her further, for the next thing he said was, "I would like to thank you, as well."
She frowned, blinking in surprise. "Thank me? For what?"
"For agreeing to aid us, of course," Fili said simply, looking equally surprised. "We have asked many people for aid, and they have all refused, even our own kin, Dain. To have complete strangers offer their aid so readily is remarkable." He was looking at her with such admiration, it made her flush.
"It's nothing, really," she muttered, embarrassed as she found she couldn't quite meet his gaze.
"It is not 'nothing'." Fili's tone was firm as he lifted her chin gently with one calloused hand, forcing her to meet those startling blue eyes of his. "Not to myself, or any of the others. As I said, no one else has offered their help so freely. Why do you?"
"Because, like I said before . . ." she hesitated, trying to think of how best to explain herself. Why was it suddenly so hard to think? And shit, she wasn't going to tell him this, was she? But it seemed she was, as her mouth went on quite separately from her brain, "I . . . lost someone that meant a lot to me, before. I couldn't do anything about it. I wasn't even there when he died, so I couldn't help him. But I can help you, and the others." And she was just going to go ahead and quote Civil War on this, wasn't she? "And if I can help, but I don't, and bad things happen, then it's on me. That's all."
Fili's eyes were warm as he smiled at her. "You are a most unusual woman."
She shrugged. "Wouldn't be the first time that I've heard that. Does that bother you?"
He shook his head. "Not at all. I find myself rather enjoying it, actually. I . . . am sorry for your loss. Whatever happened, it must have been terrible."
"Yeah, well . . ." she gave a jerky shrug. She never liked to think about it, and she had no idea why she'd brought it up. "It was a while ago, now. Anyway, I need a drink." She turned back to the barrel, refilling the amount she'd spilled when he'd startled her, and turned back to find him still watching. She took a long swig, and tried very hard not to make a face as she discovered ale, in fact, was worse than beer.
Apparently, she didn't succeed, for Fili started laughing. "The ale is not to your liking, I take it?" he managed after a moment.
She glared at the mug. "Guess not. But I need a drink, and beggars can't be choosers, right?"
"Dori had some wine he gave to Gandalf earlier," Fili suggested, still smiling.
"No, that would be worse," Alison said with a shudder. She'd never understood the appeal of wine, either.
"Then I suppose you do not have a choice," Fili agreed. "There was another reason I came to find you. I thought, perhaps, you might like to hear the song Uncle and the others are about to sing."
Oh, the song. "Yeah, actually, I think I would." Alison nodded at him, before setting the mug down on the barrel, deciding she didn't really need a drink that much after all. "Lead the way."
She followed Fili into the living room, where Thorin stood at the fireplace, and only a few seconds after she and Fili had arrived, Kili appeared with Lily shortly behind him. Once Kili had walked past her, Alison gave Lily a teasing leer, causing Lily to swat her as she joined her in leaning against the wall.
Fili and Kili had gone to stand near their uncle, as he gazed into the fireplace with a sombre expression. All at once, he began to sing, a low, deep, haunting and mournful tune that wound its way around the room, giving Alison goosebumps as all of the other dwarves joined in on the song. It was beautiful, yet at the same time horribly sad, and as the song wound to a close, Alison could feel the tears she'd forced down earlier welling up in her again. She glanced over at Lily to see that a couple of tears had escaped her eyes, which Lily wiped at hastily again.
The brothers came over to them after the song was done, Kili asking as he approached, "What did you think?"
"I thought it might help you understand the quest better," Fili explained to Alison, looking a bit subdued now. "It was written about Erebor."
Alison nodded as Lily replied, "It was . . . lovely. You all sang really well."
"It was a great song," Alison managed around the lump in her throat, "and kind of . . . awful, too. I just mean it was really sad, and . . . I think we need to go to sleep now. I'm sorry." The lump didn't seem to be going away, and she'd be damned if she was going to cry in front of the dwarves.
"Of course," Fili said softly, nodding. "You should rest."
"We'll be leaving early in the morning," Kili added, though he was looking mostly at Lily. "Make sure you get up in time. We wouldn't want you to miss it."
"Aye," Fili agreed with his brother. "We look forward to your company on the quest."
"Thank you," Lily said, and Alison could only nod, not sure that she could manage words right now, before she followed Lily out of the room.
They found Bilbo right outside the door in the hallway. He'd obviously been listening too, for he looked as sad as Alison felt. He nodded at them. "I know exactly what you mean, about it being a great and awful song," he told Alison quietly. "Anyway, I'll show you to the guest room I mentioned earlier. You said you wouldn't mind sharing, right?"
Lily shook her head. "We don't mind, no."
Bilbo directed them to the guest room, a cozy looking little room with one decently large double bed, and offered them the use of some of his mother's old nightgowns if they wanted. They were a bit on the short side, but Alison put one on anyway, as did Lily, before they both crawled into the surprisingly soft bed. They talked for a few moments about all they'd left behind before Lily began to cry, and Alison held her, comforting her until she fell asleep, continually willing down the lump in her throat. It wasn't until she was sure that Lily was sleeping that she finally let the tears out, crying for everything and everyone she had lost, the family, friends, and life that she had loved and would never see again.