Part 23
He wakes up at 9am, alone: 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep… that hasn't happened in… he can't even remember. He can vaguely hear the sounds of Olivia's and Zach's voices in the kitchen, she seems to have things under control, so he'll treat himself to an other 10 minutes in bed… he hasn't felt so relaxed and rested in a long time. Olivia persuaded him to join her in the bath, they took it in turns to wash and dry each other, too worn out for anything to happen, just happy to take care of each other in those small, intimate ways. They fell asleep almost right away, and this time, didn't wake up in the middle of the night, didn't make love. They just slept.
Suddenly he has an urge to see them both, so he gets up, slips his dressing gown on, and makes his way to the kitchen, picking up the mail as he goes along. What a sight. Dishes everywhere, flour on the counter, the smell of chocolate in the air, and two of the three people he loves the most in the world ("I must call Karen this weekend, I haven't talked to her in ages") laughingly comparing their skin tones, arm to arm.
"Fitz, look, look, our skin is both like chocolate, but mine's a darker chocolate than Olivia's, oh, oh, and we made a chocolate cake too!"
Fitz chuckles... "Morning, my little chocolate fiends, I can see that you've both been very busy, in fact, I can smell it. It smells really good."
"It's for Quinn", Zach explains. "Well, only a bit of it- 'cause we'll eat the rest. Did you know, you have to make sure the yellow bit and the white bit of the eggs don't mix together, Olivia showed me, it's really ticky."
"You mean tricky", Olivia retorts with a laugh. "Hey you", she says softly to Fitz, going over to him for a hug. They both notice that Zach is pretending not to look on with interest and so they only make it a brief cuddle.
"So", Fitz turns to Zach, "shall we go for a walk this morning, and then take the cake– sorry, a bit of the cake- to Quinn's? And then maybe, a movie this afternoon if you want…"
Zach lights up. He's about to ask Olivia whether she'll come along, but she preempts him. "Good, well you two can drop me off at home then; I've got to run some errands and…"
"But, Olivia, you've got to…" Zach stops. He was about to say, you've got to stay with us tonight to eat the cake, but he remembers what they told him last night, that what they do together is their thing, and he has to accept that. "Maybe you should have a bit of the cake too, then", he says instead, bravely, "and you can eat it with Quinn..."
Fitz smiles. He's got a pretty good idea of what's going on through Zach's mind right now. "Tell you what, why don't we invite Olivia over for dinner, and we'll cook a special meal, you and I. What do you think?"
"With the special plates and the special napkins, and the special glasses?", he asks eagerly.
"Yes, of course, she's a very special guest, so we have to do things properly."
Zach nods seriously. "OK, so we'll eat in the dining room, then, not in the kitchen, and I'll put on my nice shirt and…"
Olivia bursts out laughing; "Hello, guys! Don't you want me to say whether I accept the invitation first?"
They both turn to look at her, with hope on their face, so different (Zach's smooth black skin compared to Fitz's fairer tones, the latter with a head full of hair sprinkled in greys, and the former with a short, black and curly afro) but yet, so alike in some ways (Zach promising to be tall, like Fitz, and both with large, expressional eyes…) How can she say no?
-x-
Quinn gives in to Zach's request that she eats the cake right away– her bit of the cake, she gravely notes Zach's not the best baker in the world- but pronounces it utterly delicious anyway. She doesn't mention Zach's outburst with her the night before but responds to his tight hug with fervor. After which Fitz takes Zach to the movies. If anyone had told me a few months ago that I'd be watching Disney Pixar's, the Good dinosaur with a seven-year-old little boy and enjoying it, I would have thought they were completely mad and wouldn't have dignified it with an answer, he tells himself ruefully… just goes to show.
Meanwhile, Olivia has begged off the movie on the grounds that they need some father-son special time together, and that she has a lot to do at home. Which includes (but that, she hasn't said) a full body and face massage by Quinn, shaving her legs, washing her hair, and an hour agonising over what to wear. She knows Zach and Fitz will go to some trouble over dinner and wants to look good for them. She also knows that tonight is the night.
She can't help feeling nervous, when she rings the doorbell: she still has her set of keys, but senses that tonight she shouldn't use them. Zach opens the door and remains dumbstruck. He looks nice in his grey trousers and midnight blue shirt, but she looks stunning. He's always seen her in her nursing clothes, or jeans and a top, but never in going-out clothes, and he can't believe how beautiful she is. To him, her dress - short, dark red, beautifully cut – looks almost intimidating. To Fitz, who's just appeared in the corridor, who has also made a sartorial effort, and whose mouth goes dry at the sight of her, it's the promise of things to come later tonight.
Zach takes her handbag off her and leads her to the dining room. "So, what are we having for dinner?", she asks with a smile.
Fitz clears his throat. "Well, Zach wanted to treat you to things he can cook entirely by himself– except for the cake of course. So, we're having… Zach?"
"Jacket potatoes and salad", Zach announces proudly. "And I set the table, and cut the potatoes, and did the dressing, and I also grated some cheese for the potatoes."
She looks at the table, the fine china plates, the silver cutlery, the beautiful glasses, somewhat set askance, the slightly misplaced embroided napkins, the candles waiting to be lit but not entirely straight in the candlesticks…
She looks at Fitz: sorry, his expression says, you were probably expecting something more… sophisticated, but…
She smiles at him, and then at Zach, dazzingly, more touched by this than by an invitation to a five star restaurant. "This is perfect", she says with a contented sigh, "just perfect."
And so it is. The jacket potatoes are perfectly cooked ("Fitz got them out of the oven", Zach points out, "I'm not allowed to do that"), the cheese perfectly grated, the salad perfectly crispy… as for the cake, well there was much left to be desired… but in its own special way, it's all perfect in her eyes.
They chat about things, as they've always done. Now that they've started eating, Zach relaxes and is his usual talkative self, and enthusiastically tells her about the movie and Quinn's face when she realised they'd baked a cake for her… But whereas he has forgotten how beautiful Olivia looks tonight, Fitz hasn't, far from it. He can hardly take his eyes off her, and at times struggles to carry on with the conversation.
After dinner, Zach insists on clearing the table and placing the dishes into the dishwasher. He knows he'll have an extra hour tonight before bedtime, and he wants to make the most of it. So, they read stories, the three of them, and she is dragging it on a bit, because she's tense about being alone with Fitz after... but finally, it's time for Zach to go to bed. Fitz takes him upstairs. "I'll be right back", he whispers to her.
When he comes back, after what seems to him an eternity, and to her a mere second, she is by the window and looking at the garden in the dusk. He goes and stands right behind her. "Livvie". His voice is husky, deep, as it always is in those moments. "Have I told you how fantastic you look tonight?"
She turns to face him. He's discarded his tie and rolled up his sleeves… She smiles. "Well, I was getting tired of my old jeans…"
"Hey now, don't be too hard on them, you look very sexy in them by the way. But this… my goodness." He can see the tension on her face. "Livvie, is everything OK?"
She swallows. Sometimes, there's a time and place to be hesitant, to say things in a roundabout way, and not betray exactly how you are feeling, but tonight, she thinks there is also a time and place to be straight forward and brave in expressing what it is you really want and feel. So, she does… "I want you", she states bluntly.
His eyes widen, he's about to tease her, and finds that he can't. Without a word, he lifts her hand to his mouth, kisses it, and leads her to his – or what used to be their–bedroom. Take things slowly, he tells himself on their way up, desperately trying to remain in control, feeling every inch of her body as it brushes against his, we have all the time in the world, it's taken her a while to get to that point, so don't rush it… let her set the pace.
Twenty minutes later, they're lying in each other arms, struggling to catch their breath, slick with sweat, still intimately joined. "So much for not rushing it", he chuckles.
"What?"
He looks at her sheepishly. "Well, you know, when we were going up the stairs I kept saying to myself don't rush it, take things slowly…"
She laughs. "And I was telling myself the exact same thing…"
They don't say anything for a while. "Livvie. I love you. We… we're stronger now than we were before, right?"
She twists around to take a better look at him. "Yes, we are, of course we are." She pauses, and adds, with a catch in her voice: "Largely thanks to Zach."
"Adopt him with me", he blurts out, noting how surpised she looks. "I'm sorry, this isn't the time to discuss this, this time is for us, I shouldn't have… look, don't worry about it, I…"
"Yes", she cuts him off. "If he agrees, I'll do it."
"Are you sure?", he asks, not daring to believe it. "Are you absolutely sure? It's such a big commitment and…"
"Fitz, I love him like a son. He is my son."
He draws her back to him, with a deep sigh. "Good. We'll ask him in the morning then. Now, about us taking things slowly…"
After hours of making languorous and passionate love to one another, neither one of them can decipher where their body begins and the other ends… Physically, as well as emotionally they are linked as one; their hearts, souls, minds and their bodies forever forged in love. She looks radiant, glowing in the aftermath of his ardent touch, both feeling satisfied in all the ways that truly matters, so much so, they find they are lost for words to describe just how amazing this feels. Finally. It has not been an easy journey getting here, they have been though a great deal of pain and sorrow, but now, the two of them cannot be more grateful to have this second chance, not only to experience love at these new splendid heights, but to get a second chance to live their lives to the full, with no more fear or regrets getting in the way.
As, long as they have each other; united- they know, they can face whatever life decides to throw at them.
Six months later
Olivia and Fitz are making dinner, and he's drawing in the living room. It's going to be a happy drawing, because he's feeling happy. Olivia came to live with them a few months ago – 185 days, he's counting them, although sometimes he forgets, so he has to start again from the beginning, but that's OK, he doesn't feel as bad about forgetting to count days now.
It's so nice that she doesn't have to go back home after dinner now. Sometimes, when he has a nightmare, she comes to stay with him in his bedroom until he goes back to sleep. He doesn't have them as much now, but when he does they're really bad, and she reads him stories and lets him tell her about them.
She and Fitz don't fight. Well, OK, sometimes they get annoyed with each other, because Fitz works late more, and Olivia leaves her things lying around, but they don't fight, not like Ben's mum and dad. But they don't keep kissing each other and holding hands like Annie's mum and dad either. She sleeps in Fitz's bedroom, he knows that, but he doesn't think too much about it. Well, that's not true, he does, a bit, but he tells the counsellor about it, and about Tom in the camp, and it makes him feel less anxious – she used that word, "anxious", it means worried and scared at the same time. He is slowly learning to understand that he can feel really good about Olivia living with them, and that he can be allowed to feel that way and not be anxious about the other stuff at the same time.
The day Olivia came to live with them, after breakfast, Fitz said they wanted to have a chat with him, he sounded really serious. So, he got worried that something bad was happening. But it wasn't something bad at all, it was something so, so, so amazing… Fitz wanted to ask him whether… and he started rubbing his neck and doing this thing with his face which means there's something he wants to say, but he doesn't really know how to say it. Olivia is better at saying things, she just says them, and she did, she said, he can remember the words exactly, she said, "Zach, we were wondering whether you would like me to come and live with you." He was sitting on the floor in the living room, he remembers, and he jumped to his feet, and started saying something but Olivia said "hold on, wait, you see, if I come and live with you, it means that I'd be like… well, I'd be like your mum. Properly. It's a big thing, you see, so we need to know whether you'd be OK with that."
He doesn't really remember what happened after that, just that they were having big hugs and crying. Dad was crying too, but he felt OK about that, because you could tell he was really happy. Crying when you're happy is really good.
He was crying a lot that day - 185 days ago -because his dream had become real. And earlier today, when he got back from school, he felt like crying too, because they told him something so amazing he felt his heart would explode in his chest. That's what his drawing is about. First, he draws Fitz, then Olivia, then himself. Then, a bed. Then, a shape in the bed. He thinks some more. It's got to have hair. Lots of long hair.
Because it's going to be a baby girl.
The End
So that's all folks... thanks for all the support, I hope you've enjoyed it... Someone did suggest that I do a prequel- to explore their back story and touch on Fitz's past re. wife's/wife's death and his estrangement from Karen... Seeing as i've got the writing bug, I may be considering it, so watch this space.