The following days they did not haste. Slowly the distances they covered became longer, but rest remained an important aspect and Gandalf watched over Thorin, forcing him to take his rest.

Alyssae liked this part of the journey. Although dangers were always lurking, the days passed by without serious interventions. Enemies stayed away and the Lonely Mountain was coming closer and closer while they traveled around the lake.

She had good conversations with most of the dwarves, put energy in her friendships with Fili and Kili and took time to work on her relationship with Thorin. Most dwarves welcomed them together and the ones who did not, seemed to accept it at least.

She also enjoyed wandering through the fields for hours, together with Thranduin. Even though she loved the dwarves, she thought it was wise to give them some time to spend together. She also needed it now and then to be with the only other elf.

"Alyssae," Thranduin started hesitating when they sat at the edge of the lake and stared at the mountain. She could make up from his tone that he was going to say something that was bothering him for a long time. She hoped he didn't want to convince her that she shouldn't go to Erebor.

"Yes?"

"Why don't you cancel our intended marriage now you still can?"

Alyssae turned her head aside in shock, doubting she had really heard those words. The thought of it only made her fingers and toes tingle.

"Because it wouldn't solve anything," she muttered without looking at him.

"That's not true. You will have to make some important decisions, but it's far from impossible." He took a breath. "Don't think this isn't hard for me to say, but you really love each other. I can see that in everything and yes, that hurts." He took her hand. "But it would hurt me even more if I have to see you staring out of the window, year after year, with tears in your eyes, while you think back to the man you have given your heart to and who is leading his life without you being part of it." He looked gently at her. "We haven't sworn any oath yet. Don't make a choice you will regret forever. If this love is pure, nobody should come between it."

Alyssae stared stubbornly forward. There was nothing she wanted more than accepting his words. He was so sweet. So tender. There were no words to describe him, but the unpleasant feeling that she would only bring him more grief, didn't go away.

"I know how it feels to lose someone, Alyssae. My first love was taken from me right before my eyes. Not a day passes by without thinking about her and I wish nobody such a fate." He squeezed her hand. "Especially not you."

Alyssae looked up in shock. "Have you been married before?"

Disheartened Thranduin shook his head. 'No. We weren't meant to be. She died before we could immortalize our love."

A lump appeared in her throat.

"Time flies be. Especially for us. Before you know it, Thorin is nothing but a memory."

Alyssae stared at her hands. "What was her name?"

"Mána. She was beautiful and in many ways she was just like you. She was curious and adventurous."

Alyssae looked up and he showed a watery smile.

"How did she die?"

"During one of her reckless expeditions she had found an ancient ruin, which she wanted to show me. When we arrived, orcs were waiting for us. An arrow was shot right through her head.

A tear glittered in the corner of his eye, which he blinked away quickly.

Alyssae sighed and embraced him tightly. "I am so sorry. That's horrible."

His hand raked through her hair. "You don't make me happy by marrying me and pretending like you love me. You make me happy by embracing your own happiness. Six hundred thirty-nine years have passed since Mána's death and it took a long time before I could open my heart for someone else. Don't undergo the same faith before that time has to come. Take everything life offers."

Alyssae put her head on his shoulder and watched a bird that hopped along the shore.

"We are an elf and a dwarf, Thranduin. I have to lead Chyndall. I -"

"You don't have to do anything, Alyssae. You think Chyndall will not survive without you? Your sister and Raphael can lead the kingdom very well without your help." He lifted her head and looked right into her eyes. "What is really holding you back, Alyssae? You know we are not bounded yet and you know the prosperity of your kingdom is not in your hands. You know you can be with Thorin without becoming his wife immediately. You make up a thousand excuses so you don't have to stay with him, but what is really the reason you keep your distance?"

Alyssae stared at the ground while her cheeks turned red. Of course he was right - every word he spoke was true.

"I don't dare to take the risk."

Despite the soft side he had shown, she still feared his mood would change all of a sudden. She didn't dare to believe that her influence was so great that she had a permanent effect on him.

Now she felt safe. Now there was something she could go back to. She could give up everything for Thorin, but she wouldn't dare to go back when things went wrong.

She could keep believing in the illusion that Thorin really loved her, without giving him a real chance to stop that.