Fili had rolled himself in a blanket and stared at the stars. He couldn't fall asleep. His thoughts strayed off to Thorin and Alyssae, who had left together. The last thing he wanted was creating images of them, but he couldn't help it and the jealousy made him mad.
He didn't understand his uncle, who had acted so coldly towards her the past days, and all of a sudden he had sought rapprochement today. He didn't believe Thorin deserved Alyssae. Even more, he felt pity for the elf that had given her away to a dwarf. It didn't escape his attention that Alyssae barely cared about him, even though he didn't believe she had a heart of stone. She probably didn't know how to behave and in that respect she and Thorin weren't so different after all.
He closed his eyes. The thoughts about her cut his soul. He wanted to abandon his hurt feelings, but even time didn't seem to wear it out. Still he hoped, even though he knew better, that she would suddenly realize that she did love him, more than anyone else.
At peep of a new day Fili awoke from a restless dream. He sat straight and looked around. He hadn't noticed Alyssae and Thorin's return, but in the meantime they had joined them. Thorin had wrapped his arms around her and Fili hastily turned away his face, even though it was too late. His stomach seemed to shrink. At first instance he had believed it would feel nice to have her around - even when she was with his uncle - but now he started to wonder if he could handle it.
He walked to the lake and tried to catch some fish, but they didn't show themselves. In the distance he saw the ruins of the once so glorious city of Dale, which they would probably pass tomorrow. A nervous feeling dislodged the pain Alyssae had caused. It wouldn't take long before they entered Erebor. How would things develop? Would they find the Arkenstone? Could they motivate the other dwarf clans? Could they defeat Smaug with their help?
He knew the doubts were starting to conquer him. Thorin didn't seem to concentrate on the mission and he also started to wonder if Alyssae wasn't unintentionally leading him astray. He needed to make plans, instead of paying all his attention to an elf. Later he would have plenty of time to do so.
"We're moving on."
Fili looked over his shoulder and nodded to Dori. He had been so deep in thoughts that he didn't even know how long he was staring into the distance. He walked back to the others, buckled his weapons and glanced at Balin and Thranduin, who discussed plans on a muffled volume. Something Thorin should do.
He looked at his uncle, who watched how everyone prepared themselves for the continuation of their journey. For a moment his gaze crossed that of Fili and he raised his eyebrows questioning, making Fili quickly look away. He walked to his brother and Bofur, who were talking with Alyssae. Even though he knew she could take care of herself, he wanted to stay around. Danger was often unexpected.
His ears turned red when Bofur and Kili made jokes about Thorin and her and he wanted to turn around, but Alyssae had already seen and greeted him.
"Hey. You slept well?" Her eyes shone.
Fili shook his shoulders. There was no way he would admit that images of her and his uncle had tried to keep him from sleeping. Those images were horrible, even if he didn't know what had happened between them, and he was afraid they wouldn't leave him alone soon.
"The mountain is coming close," he sighed. "The end of our journey is near."
Alyssae put a hand on his shoulder. "It's not an end. It's just a new beginning."
Her smile made his stomach turn and he looked at the ground, wondering what role Alyssae would play in their future.