A/N: Well, I was hoping to get this up before Halloween, especially being Chapter 13 and all, but didn't quite manage it. I've been having a bit of writer's block lately, and this chapter was difficult to get out. Still not sure if I'm totally happy with it, but hopefully you all enjoy it anyway! This whole chapter ends up taking place in the dungeon, I thought I might get them out of it by the end but there was apparently a lot of important conversations that needed to go down first ;). Still, it's all original stuff at least! Next chapter, of course, will be the great escape, and I hope to have that one up by Christmas.
Thanks as always to everyone who has favorited, followed, and read so far, I'm glad you're enjoying it!
And, of course, extra special thanks to my awesome reviewers of last chapter, who I appreciate so much, TwiHeart12, Arkinstone, lavonnadarc, ThatOtherWriterGirl, and the amazing Moira Starsong with her own terrific Fili story! Moira also gets partial nerd-points for two of the Easter Eggs last chapter, from Super Mario and Batman. The obscure one nobody managed to get, the corporeal line, was actually from the early seasons of Supernatural. Sadly there are no Easter Eggs in this one, but I'll try to include some in the next chapter!
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW, EVERYBODY, IT DEFINITELY MAKES ME WRITE FASTER!
Disclaimer: And, as always, I don't own any characters or lines you recognize from the Hobbit, just the rest of the story!
Chapter 13: In the Dungeon
Even as he asked the question, Fili was not entirely certain that he wanted to hear the answer. Though much of what had happened in Mirkwood was fuzzy and difficult to remember, Alison's terror and grief when she had been locked in her nightmare and when she had awoken from it were not. It had pained him deeply to see her like that, and though he had thought it just a nightmare at first, given that he had experienced a few of his own in Mirkwood, he hadn't been so certain after what she said. The shock of her statement that he was supposed to die – and the fact that she appeared to believe it – had kept him from following her immediately. Once he had, things had escalated too quickly with the spiders and the elves for him to press her further about it.
And in truth, he had been reluctant to do so. He did not want to find out that her statement was the result of a vision, for Lily had yet to be wrong, and he did not want to die. Especially not now that he had found his One and they were so close to regaining their homeland. His future had never looked brighter, and there was still so much he wanted to do. And the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Alison. Her reaction to his possible death had given him greater hope that she would one day love him, but it had also reminded him of how badly she had once been hurt. He did not want to wound her all over again, and he had promised Lily that he would do his best not to.
So he knew that he had to find out the truth, even if the thought of it frightened him. He needed to know as much as he could, so that he could make sure it didn't happen. After all, he was Fili, son of Dis, Prince of the Line of Durin. He would not let fear of his fate rule him, especially not if there was a chance he could change it.
He watched Alison closely, waiting for her reply, trying to ignore the rapid and nervous beat of his heart. She stared at him for a long moment, looking shocked and then panicked. "Fili, I – I can't . . ." She shook her head frantically, seeming to be at a loss for words.
"I know that there might be details you cannot tell me," Fili said, remembering their earlier conversation about visions. As well as what he'd overheard of the conversation between the sisters and Gandalf as they were leaving Beorn's, though that had raised as many questions as it had answered for him. Among them, the fact that Alison seemed to know just as much as Lily did – and he didn't think it was simply because they'd talked about the visions. But one thing at a time, he reminded himself, and this was the most important. "There might be things that are too dangerous for you to tell me, and I understand that. I just want to know the truth. Did you say that because of a nightmare Mirkwood gave you, or because Lily has seen it?"
He watched Alison, still keeping her hand in his and squeezing it gently. He could see the fear and worry in her eyes as she thought it through, before she finally said, "If I tell you, will you answer a question for me? Truthfully, with no evasions?"
"Certainly," Fili replied, though it was with a touch of wariness. He had a feeling he knew what she wanted to ask, given her 'no evasions' stipulation, and the answer he would have to give could ruin all of his careful plans. Still, the fact that she hadn't pulled away was encouraging. He looked at her expectantly.
"Not yet," she amended hastily. "I'll – I'll ask when I'm ready. As for the answer to your question – it's both. Lily has seen a vision of . . . of you . . . dying, but I also saw it in my nightmare. Or rather, I saw you already . . . dead . . . right after . . . I saw something I never wanted to see again."
Her eyes became bright with tears, and though she tried determinedly to blink them away, a few stray ones trickled down her cheeks. Though Fili's heart had sunk at her answer, he couldn't stop himself from pulling her close at the sight and wrapping his arms around her. He remembered her pained cries in the forest while she had been asleep, each one a deep blow to his own heart. He needed the comfort of holding her as much as he hoped she needed him to. "I am so sorry, amrâlimê. Would you like to talk about it?"
"No," she murmured, sliding her arms beneath his fur coat and clutching at his tunic as she pressed her face to his chest. "I do want to, and I will, eventually, but not yet. Just hold me, please."
He would do so gladly, Fili thought, holding her closely as he rubbed her back and murmured soothingly to her. He would take any moment she was willing to give him right now, especially as he might lose it all eventually. Either because she wouldn't like his answer to her question, or because he might die. But no, he wouldn't die, he told himself firmly as he rested his head atop hers. He couldn't. He refused to be the one to leave her. He would not leave her unless she told him to go herself.
They stayed like that for a long moment, clutching each other tightly, Fili taking comfort both from her presence and her willingness to be held by him. He had come to realize that nothing had ever made him feel more complete than having her in his arms, and he was determined never to take those moments for granted. Finally, she cleared her throat and leaned back, pulling only slightly away from him. She gave him a half-smile, looking a little embarrassed. "Thank you."
"Any time, lass," he assured her gently. Though he hardly wanted to spoil the moment, he needed as much information as he could get, so he added reluctantly, "But . . . I do need to know what Lily saw. Or as much as you can tell me about how or when or why it happens."
"Fili . . ." Alison shook her head, looking uncomfortable, which struck a chord of guilt in him. "There really isn't much I can tell you. It's too dangerous for someone to know too much about their own fate. I shouldn't have said what I did. I wouldn't have if I hadn't been so . . . well, anyway, all I can say is the why. You'd probably be able to figure that out yourself anyway. The why is because of who you are, and the Orcs that are hunting us. Bolg, Azog's son, in particular."
Fili nodded, absorbing the information and turning it over in his mind. She was right; he had already suspected it had something to do with the Orcs following them. It could also be the dragon, of course, but given the Orcs' determination in following them so far, he had thought they were the most likely candidate. But then, she'd said it was because of who he was. He was, as he had reminded himself earlier, a Prince of the Line of Durin. Didn't that mean all of the Line of Durin would be in danger? Including his uncle and . . . Kili?!
"Alison, what about Kili?" he demanded urgently, fear and panic rushing through him. "And Uncle? Are they not in danger too? Do any of the others get hurt? Please, I must know!"
"Please, Fili, I can't say anything more. Don't ask me to," she pleaded, looking desperate. But the alarm that had flashed in her eyes and the way her body had stiffened at the mention of Kili's name had already told him all he needed to know.
No. Not Kili, not Uncle, please, Mahal, no. Stabbing pain twisted through his heart at the thought, the fear that was now drowning him far worse than anything he had felt for himself. "It's not just me, is it?" he asked dully, already certain he was right. Bolg wouldn't be satisfied with killing just one of them, of course not. He would want all of the Line of Durin gone. "Kili and Uncle Thorin, they're supposed to die too, aren't they?"
He was clutching at her shoulders now, and in the depths of his fear and pain, he shook her hard when she didn't immediately answer. She winced at the jolt of it, and Fili froze, appalled at himself. Had he really just hurt his One? He let go of her instantly, scooting back from her on the bench, suddenly not trusting himself to touch her. "Mahal, Ali, I'm so sorry. I should not have . . ." He shook his head, unable to finish the sentence, and turned away from her, burying his head in his hands.
"No, Fili, I'm the one that's sorry. Fuck. I should never have said anything in the first place, no matter what happened." He heard her slide closer to him, and then she slipped her arms around his waist, pressing herself to his back as she murmured regretfully, "This is all my fault."
"Nay, lass, it isn't." Fili turned back to her, unable to take her saying such a thing, and gathered her into his lap this time, crushing his lips to hers briefly. Even that brief touch seemed to lighten her gaze and his own heart at the same time, so that he could suddenly breathe easier. He could still figure this out. Together with her, he could, he was sure of it. "None of this is your fault. You and your sister have only ever tried to help. I should not have pressed for answers that I am not meant to have."
Alison gave him a rueful smile, wrapping her arms around his neck. "And I shouldn't have blurted out things I'm not supposed to say, either, but here we are." She hesitated briefly, her gaze darkening again. "I probably shouldn't say this, either, but . . . you're right. It's not just you. It's Kili and your Uncle, too. The others will survive, but . . . the three of you aren't supposed to. But Lily and I won't let that happen, do you hear me? We won't!"
Fili smiled, his heart warmed by her passionate declaration. "I believe you, amrâlimê. But, I would ask, that if it comes down to a choice between saving myself or Kili, that you – "
She cut him off by clapping a hand over his mouth, shaking her head fiercely at him. "No, Fili. I'm not making that bloody choice. No way. We'll save all of you."
He tugged her hand gently away from his mouth, grabbing her other wrist and pulling it down when she tried to replace it. He hated to cause the pain that he saw in her eyes now, but Kili came before everything. "Ali, please, I need you to promise me, just in case. It's Kili."
She sighed, shaking her head. "I get how you feel, I do. But if I asked you to save Lily over me, would you?"
Fili stared at her for a long moment, torn. He wanted to be able to say yes, but to deliberately choose not to protect his One, even if she asked him to? He did not think he was capable of such a feat. He shook his head. "That's not fair, lass."
"I know it's not," she retorted. "That's why I'm not going to choose, either. We're saving all of you, and that's that, okay?" Before he could reply, she went on in a softer tone, "If it makes you feel better, I can tell you one other thing. Azog was supposed to be with Bolg when it happened."
"Lass, do you mean Azog was not supposed to die yet?" Fili breathed, excited. When she nodded, smiling slightly, he let go of her hands to pull her closer, kissing her deeply until he had to pause for breath. She was still smiling when he pulled back, though her eyes were flaring with heat now as he went on, "That means we can change things, if you already have! Amrâlimê, I – " He just managed to stop himself before he confessed his love for her. She still wasn't ready yet, he knew that, so he finished hastily, "I owe you so much."
Alison shook her head, a gentle warmth now in her eyes as she tugged lightly on one of his braids. That warmth stirred him as much as the earlier heat had. "You don't, really. You've saved my life so many times on this quest that I'll still owe you, if anything."
"Well, perhaps we shouldn't bother with keeping score," Fili suggested, stroking his hands up and down her back as she shifted even closer.
"Let's not," she agreed. "Well, unless it's for more fun things." She gave him a wicked grin as she rocked lightly on his lap, causing heat to rush through his body.
He gripped her hips to keep her still. "Ali, we shouldn't," he said with no little regret. "Not here. Although . . ." He frowned as he wondered how many more opportunities he might get, should something go wrong.
"We still have some time," she said softly, as if reading his thoughts. "I don't know exactly how much, but it's not going to happen right after we leave here. We'll have some more private time, and time to figure things out, I promise. I might even be able to let you know a bit more once we get closer. And at least we have the advantage of knowing it's going to happen, so we can change things. Often people have no idea, and there's nothing they can do to stop it."
Fili frowned, seeing the bleak look she now wore, knowing she had to be thinking of what had happened to her betrothed. "You're right, lass. We have an advantage, and we have some time. I mean to make use of both. We will change this. And in the meantime, I will enjoy the present moment." He leaned down to press a brief kiss to her lips, wanting to chase the bleakness from her eyes. He was pleased when she smiled and tugged his head back down. He could at least enjoy her kisses, he thought as he sank into the taste of her, now that he knew everyone he loved would be safe for the next little while. He would worry about the rest later.
Kili was more than a little surprised when the female elf – Tauriel, one of the other elves had called her – returned to his cell herself later that night with his food, along with a male elf. The male kept his weapon aimed at Kili while the door was opened and his food was placed inside by Tauriel, both of them backing out and letting the door clang shut as soon as it was done. The male elf walked away immediately, but Tauriel paused a moment, looking back at him.
"Wait," Kili said, moving forward to the front of his cell when she was about to turn away.
She turned back, arching one eyebrow at him coolly. She was beautiful, Kili admitted, though he would not say so in front of the others. She was an elf, after all. Still, as an ardent admirer of female beauty, he could hardly fail to notice the loveliness of her fiery hair, dark eyes, and delicate face. As well, of course, as the lithe curves made evident by the green tunic and breeches the Wood Elves favoured. Not that long ago, he would have flirted shamelessly with her, elf or no. Now, however, he found he couldn't stir up an interest in doing so, not when his head was so full of visions of another beauty, this one dark-haired. So he merely asked, "How are the others?"
She seemed surprised at the question, but replied readily enough, "Your fellow dwarves are all fine. No one has been harmed."
Kili let out a small breath of relief at that. He'd been more than a little worried when the elves had hauled off his Uncle and the sisters separately. He'd had no idea what they were planning to do, but everything he had imagined had been very unpleasant. "And the women that were with us?" he pressed. "What happened to them?"
"They are fine as well," she reassured him, her face softening slightly. "We did not have enough cells for them, so we allowed them each to pick one of their choosing. The red-haired woman chose to stay with the blonde dwarf – Fili, I think his name was?" Kili nodded, unsurprised at this information, though he was pleased for Fee that Alison had made that choice. It boded well for his brother's chances. His own, though, were not good, judging by the fact that he was still alone in his cell. As if to confirm this, Tauriel continued, "The dark-haired one elected to stay with another dwarf, Ori, I believe."
"Of course she did," Kili muttered, gripping the bars of his cell door tightly. Ever since Beorn's, when she had begun avoiding him, Lily had been almost constantly in Ori's company, and it was beginning to grate on him. Did she care for the other dwarf? Had she kissed Ori the way she kissed him? He didn't think he could bear it if she had; the thought made him grind his teeth together. Just what had he done wrong, and how could he fix it?
"You are not pleased by that information, are you?" Tauriel asked.
"No, I'm not," Kili sighed, thumping his head lightly against the cell door. "She's angry at me. If she wasn't, she would have come to stay with me, instead." At least, he thought she would have. She'd always stayed near him willingly enough before.
"What did you do to make her angry?" Kili glanced up at the elf in surprise. She seemed to be genuinely curious. And elf or not, a woman was a woman. Maybe she'd know what he did wrong, and what he could do to make it better.
"I'm not sure," he confessed. "I kissed her – I mean, I asked her if I could, and she said yes, so I did." He wasn't about to tell this elf he barely knew just how far things had gone from that kiss, so he merely said, "And she seemed like she was enjoying it, but then she suddenly told me to stop, that she couldn't do this. I asked her why not, and she said she just couldn't. Then she asked me why I wanted her, and I couldn't really tell her exactly why. She seemed to think I only wanted her because she was the only woman available, and that I wasn't serious about her, and she told me to leave her alone. She's barely spoken to me since then." He shrugged helplessly. Even telling the story over didn't give him any clues as to what had so suddenly happened to change Lily's mind.
Tauriel gave him a long, speculative stare. "Do you know now why you want her or if you are serious about her?"
Kili let out a frustrated sigh, shaking his head. He'd thought about it many times since then, but he still felt no closer to the answer. He liked her. He thought she was kind and funny and brilliant and beautiful. And he knew he was attracted to her, that he felt his blood heat when he saw her or touched her. But he didn't think that what he felt matched what Fili had said a dwarf should feel for his One. Was it possible for a dwarf to have strong feelings for a woman who wasn't his One? He had no idea. All he did know was that he missed talking to her, hearing her laugh, or seeing the play of emotions on her face. And, of course, he missed the feel of her body against his. He wanted all of that back, and he didn't want any other dwarf – Ori included – to have any of it.
So he shrugged, still not knowing the answer. "I don't know. I know I don't want her just because she was the only woman available. I want her because she's Lily. That's all." He didn't know how else to put it.
Tauriel gave a faint smile at that. "I see. Do you miss talking to her, being around her?"
He nodded. "A lot, actually."
"Tell her that, then. I think . . . perhaps she wants reassurance of your feelings. I spoke to her a bit myself earlier, and she seemed . . . surprisingly wise for a dwarven half-breed," the elf captain mused. "And one so young at that. But even the wisest of us can become frightened of our feelings, and need reassurance from those we care about. Tell her that you miss talking to her, and take it from there. And perhaps, as you talk to her again, you will understand your own feelings better."
He could do that. Honestly, Kili thought he would do almost anything to have the chance to be with her again, even if they were only talking. And what this elf woman said did make sense. He gave her a wry look. "And I'd be happy to do that, as soon as you let me out of here."
Tauriel smiled fully at that, shaking her head. "You know I cannot. Unless you are willing to let our King know what the purpose of your journey is. But you are not, are you?"
Kili shook his head, grinning in reply. "I'm not." Perhaps he should be more concerned about their predicament, but he wasn't. He felt sure Lily had seen a way out, and he had noticed Bilbo was not among his captured companions. He had a feeling the surprisingly resourceful hobbit would find a way to get them out, and that there would be no need for him to betray his Uncle's confidence.
"Well, then, you shall have to remain here, and wait for one of your companions to provide the answer," the elf captain replied. "Or perhaps for our King to change his mind, but I do not think that likely."
"I suppose we will see," Kili said mildly. He hesitated a moment before adding, "Thank you, Tauriel. For the advice."
She gave him a slightly startled look, followed by a smile. "You are most welcome, Kili, was it?" He nodded. "Perhaps we shall speak again. Now, however, I must move on to other duties. If you do get to speak to your Lily, I wish you luck."
"Thank you," Kili said again, thinking as he watched the elf captain leave that perhaps elves weren't so bad, after all. Tauriel, at least, seemed like she could be a good friend.
It was over a day after their capture when Bilbo found them. At least, so far as Fili could tell, it was. Telling time was difficult in the elves' accursed dungeon, but the elves had been by to deliver a few meals thus far, and he and Alison had slept for several hours, as well. They'd also spent some time trying to communicate with the others, but it was difficult to carry on a conversation through the walls and the levels of the dungeon, and Bofur was the only one they could properly see from where they were. So Fili was more than a little startled to see Bilbo appear as if from nowhere in front of the door to their cell.
"Ah, there you are, Alison, Fili," the hobbit said in a satisfied tone. "Lily was not certain precisely which cell you were in. Though you likely already know, she and Kili both wished me to tell the two of you that they are fine."
"Bilbo!" Alison exclaimed in delight, hopping up from her spot on the bench beside Fili to go to the door and clasp his hands through the bars. "I'm so glad to see you!"
"As am I," Fili agreed, smiling as he came to join her. Though the hobbit looked dirty and dishevelled, he was otherwise none the worse for wear. "It's good to see you are well. Should you not be more wary of the guards, though?"
"They won't be down for several minutes yet," Bilbo assured him. "I have been watching their movements closely, and keeping out of sight until it was safe to come down. I am still not certain how to get all of you out, however. Lily tells me the answer will present itself soon, though."
"It will," Alison agreed. "You'll be able to figure it out, Bilbo, I'm sure of it." Digging into her pocket, she pulled out the roll she had saved from their earlier meal. "And we'll keep you fed while you're at it."
"Thank you," the hobbit said gratefully, taking the roll from her and storing it in his own pocket. "I do appreciate it."
Fili watched them thoughtfully as Alison asked a question about Lily. The conviction in her earlier statement had made him wonder if she didn't already know precisely how Bilbo was going to get them out. And that, in turn, made him wonder once more just how she and her sister knew so much. He had always thought that visions and portents were imprecise and uncertain, revealing only sparse details. Yet what they knew about the quest – including the parts that had yet to happen – seemed to be very detailed. How they knew so much, though, he had no idea. He felt certain, however, that there was still something his One was hiding from him. He was simply going to have to convince her to trust him enough to tell him, he decided.
"Do you think you can do me a favour, Bilbo?" Alison asked, pulling Fili's attention back to their conversation.
"I will certainly try," the hobbit declared stoutly. "What do you need?"
"I was hoping you could find where the elves are storing the weapons they took from us," Alison replied. "Then maybe we can get them on the way out. Or even if you could sneak one out here and there, maybe bring them to us or hide them. At the very least, I'd really like to have my sword back. It was a gift, and I'm rather fond of it." She shot a glance to Fili as she said this, smiling at him, and he couldn't help smiling back, taking her fondness for his gift as another encouraging sign.
"Aye, Bilbo, even if you could bring me back a dagger or two, it would be most helpful," Fili added. He was certain they would have need of the weapons when they got out, particularly if Alison was asking the hobbit for them.
"I'll do my best to find them," the hobbit promised. He glanced to his right, up the stairs he'd likely come down to find them. "Perhaps I should leave now. The guards won't be much longer."
"Yes, you should go," Alison agreed. "But try to check back as often as you can, okay? I'll save you more food. And be careful."
"I will," Bilbo reassured her, smiling. "But you don't need to worry, they won't see me." With that, the hobbit hurried away, back the way he had come.
Alison frowned after him, still looking concerned, and Fili turned her to him, smiling down at her. "He'll be fine. After all, he finds us a way out, doesn't he?"
"Well, yes," she admitted, her brow furrowing, "but I did ask him to do something extra, as well."
"I'm certain he can handle it," Fili said. After all, the hobbit had astonished them all thus far with his resilience and resourcefulness. "And I'm glad to hear you enjoy my gift so much," he added, hoping to distract her from her concern as he tugged her closer.
She smiled at him. "Of course I do. It's easily one of the best gifts I've ever gotten."
"I can always get you another one, if need be," he told her. Anything she wanted, he would do his best to get her, he vowed to himself. Especially if it made her smile at him that way.
"I'd prefer to get that one back, if possible. But thank you." She gave him a sudden, mischievous smile as she took his arms, pulling him back with her away from the cell door. "In fact, I think I should thank you again for your gift."
He grinned at her. "If you insist, lass, I have no objections." He willingly let himself be maneuvered over to the stone bench, where she prodded him into sitting down before she sat astride his lap, looping her arms around his neck.
"Good," she breathed, before she pulled him into a heated kiss.
He responded eagerly, delving deeply into the sweet, heady taste of her. Somewhere in the past day, he had decided he no longer cared if the elves saw them. Even if he lived as long as a dwarf could, he would still have so little time with her. He was not going to waste it worrying what they thought. So he let his hands run down her back, over the sweet curve of her bottom, urging her hips against his steadily rising arousal.
She moaned, breaking off the kiss to nip at his ear, causing him to moan in turn. He turned his attention to her neck, trailing his lips down it, savouring the silky feel and every noise that escaped her as their hands roamed each other's bodies. He had his mouth nearly down to the enticing curves of her breasts while his hands tugged at the bottom of her tunic, and hers were threaded in his hair, when a cool voice cut through the haze of his desire.
"I might have known I'd find you thus. It seems dwarves have little regard for privacy."
Alison groaned in disappointment, but she didn't bother to move, and neither did Fili as he glared over at the door to their cell. It was that Legolas that had interrupted them, the Prince of the Wood Elves, Alison had told him. "Perhaps it is elves that have little regard for privacy, since you saw fit to invade ours," he retorted.
"You are in our dungeons. Anyone might be able to hear you, even if they could not see you," Legolas said in tones of faint disgust. "Have you so little restraint?"
Fili tensed, but before he could reply, Alison squeezed his shoulder lightly. He glanced at her, much of his anger draining away at the brilliant smile she flashed him before she turned to the elf. "Don't mind him, Fili. He's just jealous."
"I assure you, I am most certainly not jealous. I have no desire for some half-breed dwarf," Legolas replied scathingly.
Fili stiffened once more, fury boiling through him, but his One remained perfectly calm, smirking as she tilted her head at the elf. "I never said you were interested in me. But I'm sure you'd enjoy being in a similar position with your own redhead – a certain Captain of the Guard?"
Fili couldn't suppress his grin at the shock and fury that flitted across the elf's normally expressionless face. "I have no idea what you are referring to," the elf finally managed tightly, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Of course you don't." Alison gave Legolas a clearly skeptical glance, and Fili bit back a chuckle at the steadily rising fury in the elf's face as she went on, "Did you have a reason for coming to interrupt us?"
"I had thought perhaps you would be willing to share some information now so that you might be able to leave and regain some privacy with one another. I can see now that this was a useless endeavour." Legolas stalked away before they could reply, his back rigid with fury.
"Damn right it was," Alison muttered, glancing back at Fili. "Do you want to stop?" she asked, moving as if to shift off his lap.
He halted her, however, keeping her in place and shaking his head. "No. Let him hear - and be jealous - if he wishes." The elf had clearly failed to claim his One (if elves even had such a thing), and Fili wasn't about to make that same mistake, or allow the elves to deprive him of any moments with Alison. She smiled, pulling him back into a kiss, and he went willingly, losing himself in the taste and feel of her.
It was a couple of days later, late at night, before Legolas came back again. Fili was asleep on the bench, and Alison was pacing the confines of their cell, trying to control her restlessness – and avoid thinking. She'd had far too much time to think in here. Though she and Fili had spent a lot of time talking, training as much as they could in their limited space, and yeah, making out or even having sex a couple of times, there was only so much of all that they could do. So sometimes, they'd simply sat or laid together on the bench, in a surprisingly comfortable silence, but one that afforded her far too much time to think. To think about the future battle that was coming far too quickly, about how in the hell she and Lily were going to manage to save the three of them, and about how she felt about Fili – or how he felt about her. She didn't really want to think about any of these things, especially not about the battle, and yet she couldn't seem to stop herself, which was why she was pacing instead of sleeping.
"Are you having trouble sleeping?" came a low voice from the door. "If you simply told my father what he wanted to know, we could find far more comfortable accommodations for you."
Alison stopped her pacing, glancing over to the door of their cell, unsurprised to see Legolas there in the dim light shed by the torches. She walked closer to the cell door, frowning at the elf as she shook her head. "Thanks, but no thanks. I'm fine where I am, so you might as well give up. No one's going to tell you anything. But you know, if you'd bothered trying to have an actual conversation with us, instead of pointing weapons at us the moment you saw us, dragging us to your dungeons, and tossing us in here, you probably would have found a lot more out."
"I see even a half-breed is as stubborn as any full dwarf," Legolas replied coolly, though she thought she could see a flicker of doubt in his eyes at her last words. "Are you so willing to stay down here and rot?"
Alison shrugged. "If I have to. Of course, there's always the option of you letting us go."
Legolas shook his head. "I cannot. My father would not allow it."
"Yes, your father," Alison mused, thinking now would be as good a time as any to try to steer Legolas along a different path if she could. "You know, his policy to ignore what's happening in the world beyond your borders isn't a wise one."
Legolas gave a faint snort at this. "You believe yourself wiser than my father?"
"Didn't say I was," she replied evenly, staring steadily at him. "But in this case, I've seen what happens when people try to ignore the evil happening to others around them. Sooner or later, that evil will come for you, once it's done with them. And by that point, there will be no one left to help you. You'll stand – and fall – all on your own. Or, you could help others fight the evil now, and defeat it before it ever comes for you. It's all up to you, really."
Surprisingly, Alison thought, he didn't look furious, merely speculative as he watched her. "And just what evil might you be referring to?"
"Right now? Orcs," she told him. "And the spiders. They keep coming, don't they, no matter how many times you push them back? You might have better luck if you tracked them to their source."
"Orcs?" he repeated scornfully. "They would not dare to come anywhere near our borders."
"Wouldn't they?" Alison said mildly. "I guess we'll see, won't we?"
Legolas gave her a slightly startled glance, as if wondering what she meant. He started to turn as if to leave, but then he stopped and turned back. "There is . . . something I wanted to ask you, in particular."
"Oh? What's that?" she asked, curious. The normally unflappable elf prince appeared almost nervous.
"What you said . . . about my being interested in Tauriel . . . what made you say that?" He seemed unable to look her directly in the eye as he asked the question hesitantly.
Alison bit her lip to stifle a grin. "I said it because I've got eyes. I saw the way you were watching her on our way in here."
Legolas gave her a sharp glance at this. "Was it the way your dwarf watches you?"
"I – " Alison paused, glancing back at Fili where he slept, a little startled at the question. Did he really watch her that closely? "Yes, I suppose so. Anyway, if you have feelings for Tauriel, you should tell her. Even if she doesn't feel the same way, at least you'll know for sure. But it's also possible she does feel the same way, but is afraid to say anything because you're a prince, and she doesn't think she's worthy of you."
"Did you think that?" Legolas asked, nodding at Fili. "He is a prince too, isn't he?"
"I did, at first," she admitted. "I thought he wouldn't take me seriously because he was a prince." Now, though, she wasn't so sure. "Anyway, I know you elves live a very long time, but don't make the mistake of thinking you can wait forever to tell her. You could very easily lose your chance with her if someone else comes along. And take it from a race that doesn't live very long: you don't want to live – or die – with regret."
He gave her a thoughtful look. "Perhaps dwarves - and humans - are wiser than I believed."
"I think you'd be surprised, Legolas Greenleaf, if you took the time to speak to more of us civilly," Alison told him, pleased that she seemed to be making headway.
"I shall take your advice into consideration. All of it," Legolas said at last. He turned to leave once more, this time tossing over his shoulder, "Just so you know, half-breed, you watch him the same way." He gave her what she could only think was a smug smirk before he walked away, leaving her gaping after him.
God, did she really watch Fili like someone . . . in love? She didn't, did she? She wasn't even sure how she felt anymore. But the more she had been thinking about it lately, the more she worried that it might be far too late to guard her heart against him. She needed to know how he felt before things went any further, though. Before they left here, she decided, she needed to ask him, no matter how much it terrified her.
In spite of her decision, Alison ended up almost waiting too long to ask Fili before they left. Part of it was simply fear of what his answer would be. The other part, she admitted, was likely that she just wanted to ask as close to their leaving as possible, so that she wouldn't be stuck in a cell with him for days afterwards if things didn't go as planned. In any case, she didn't ask until shortly before she knew Bilbo would be coming to get them. She could hear the start of the elves beginning their feast above – they were a lot louder than she would have thought they'd be. Who knew elves could party so well? She grinned to herself at the thought before she turned around. "Fili?"
Fili had been laying back on the bench, head propped up on his hands, but he popped up to a sitting position the instant she spoke. "Aye, lass?"
"Remember that question I wanted to ask you?" Was it just her imagination, Alison wondered, or did he stiffen when she said that? He nodded, however, and she took a deep breath. If he could be brave enough to ask her if he was supposed to die, she could be brave enough to ask this, couldn't she? "I think I'm ready to ask you now."
"Go ahead, Ali," he prompted gently when she didn't say anything immediately, though she could swear he looked as nervous as she felt. "I promised to give you the truth, and I will."
"I know." That was exactly what she was afraid of, but it was too late to back out now. "Fili, exactly how do you feel about me? I mean, I know you like me, but do you . . . feel anything more than that? Do you want something more . . . serious than – "
"Yes," he interrupted her quietly. He stood up and came over to her, taking her hands gently in his. She felt frozen, rooted to the spot, her mind frantically whirling. Yes what? Yes, he wanted something more serious, or yes, he felt – "I love you, Alison," he went on softly, completely halting the panicked thoughts rushing through her head. "I love you more than words can express, and I want something far more serious with you than your 'friends with benefits'. I want everything you can give me, amrâlimê, and I have prayed to Mahal that you will one day feel the same."
"Why – why didn't you say something?" Alison asked faintly, feeling entirely unable to sort through the maelstrom of her own emotions. All she could manage to think was that her hallucination had been completely bloody right all along. "Why did you let me think you didn't want anything serious?"
"I'm sorry, lass." Fili steered her carefully back over to the bench, and she went willingly, sitting down before she fell down. He sat with her, still keeping her hands in his as he went on, "I did not wish to deceive you, but neither did I wish to lose my chance with you. I could tell you were frightened, and that I would drive you away if I revealed my true feelings. So I . . . simply let you draw your own conclusions so I could have whatever you were willing to give me."
She couldn't be mad at him, Alison realized dazedly. He'd never actually lied to her; he'd simply done what he felt he had to, in order to protect his own heart from her fear. The Ali I know isn't a coward, who would break a man's heart out of fear. The words rang through her head again. She might have done just that, if he'd told her back in Rivendell how he felt. Was she strong enough not to do that now? She wasn't entirely sure.
"Ali?" Fili squeezed her hands gently. She looked up at him, seeing how anxious he looked, the nerves that lingered in those incredible blue eyes of his. "I realize this might still be too soon, but please tell me you'll at least consider staying with me. I . . . do not know what I would do if you said you could never return my feelings."
"Fili." She took a deep breath, returning the pressure of his hands. She still wasn't entirely certain how she felt, but she knew she didn't want to be a coward anymore. "I don't know exactly how I feel, yet. But I think I could . . . feel the same, someday. I want to try it with you. Being serious, I mean. I guess you'd probably call it courting. It terrifies me . . . but I want to try."
"Truly?" he asked, and she nodded. His eyes, damn, his whole face lit up at that, like a kid on Christmas morning. She couldn't deny that the sight gave her a warm feeling inside, almost enough to chase away the fear. He gave her a quick, hard, joyful kiss that started a little fire in her blood, too, as he added, "I know you're scared of what could happen, Ali. I am, too. But I'll do everything in my power not to leave you, I swear it. And together, I'm sure we can figure this out."
He sounded so certain of it, just like Chris had been (or rather, her hallucination of him had been) that it actually made her feel better. Maybe they really could do this. After all, they'd already managed to defeat Azog, hadn't they? And she certainly wasn't about to give up now. She smiled at Fili, reaching up to pull his head back down to hers. "I'm going to hold you to that promise, you know."
"I certainly hope so," he breathed before he claimed her mouth again in a deep, hungry kiss. She responded eagerly, until they were both breathless and had to break apart, panting. "You need a courting braid," he murmured, nipping at her neck in between his words. "I'll give you one, with my bead on the end. If you want. It's just the first step in the courting process –"
"Yes," she interrupted him, feeling oddly giddy. "Yes, I do want." She pulled him into another kiss, nipping at his bottom lip and arching against him. He growled low in his throat, nipping at her lip in turn and lowering her to the bench beneath him. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and he gave her another long, heated kiss before trailing his mouth down her neck again, licking and nibbling as he went. He'd just reached the top of her tunic with her giving him breathless encouragement when someone cleared their throat loudly.
Fili froze, lifting his head, and Alison sighed, letting go of him, as Bofur's voice cheerfully declared, "We do hate to interrupt the two of you, but we thought you might like to leave these dungeons."
"Come on, Ali," Lily added. "Escape now, hormones come later."
Fili swung off her and the bench, pulling Alison to her feet as she grumbled, "They're never going to come later if everyone keeps interrupting us."
"Pick a better time, then," Lily advised unsympathetically, though Alison noticed she was grinning where she stood at the front of their now-open cell with Bofur. Amusingly enough, Alison saw, Fili was also flushed red again as he picked up his coat and followed her to the door. Though he'd no longer seemed to care if the elves interrupted them, apparently the other dwarves were a different story, and she couldn't help but find it really quite adorable.
She looked back at him, giving him a bright smile as she leaned closer to murmur, "We'll finish this another time."
He smiled down at her, some of the color fading from his face as he nodded, leaning down to whisper in her ear, "And I'll give you that courting braid."
"I look forward to it," she told him as Lily said behind them, "Are we leaving or what?"
"Of course we are," Alison retorted, turning back around and heading for the door, following Lily and Bofur to the others, who were gathering around Bilbo on the steps below. She couldn't wait to get out of this stupid dungeon.