Ellana lay on the bed in a sweaty heap unable to think clearly. By her side Solas lay back in a state of equal ruin. It was the middle of the day but both had needed a release for their growing nerves. Dorian had written again and in amongst his glad tidings the news was troubling. Ellana's faculties slowly returned with each panting breath.

"That was remarkable," she uttered through her hard breathing. "Feel better?"

"The tension has certainly lessened but now I could sleep for an age," he whined, rolling in to her gratefully.

"That is the inherent problem with doing this during the day, no time!"

Ellana kissed his cheek before getting up. She made her way through to the bathroom stopping at the mirror to run a hand through her messy hair. The bath had already been filled but when passed her fingers through the waters her nose wrinkled. They had taken longer than she anticipated and the water had cooled to an unpleasantly lukewarm temperature. Nonetheless she climbed in. She did not intend to languish anyway.

"You are leaving already?" Solas called out from the bed.

"I have to. I'm going to talk to Shivra."

"About Lori?!" Solas exclaimed in a worried tone. She heard him rise quickly from the bed before appearing at the door. "Do you want me to come with you? At least then she will not…"

"She's not going to hurt me, Solas; at least I would hope… I know she's pretty damn hot-blooded but you would think that she at least has some control…" She paused, pondering her fate. "If I'm not back by this evening then avenge me!" she joked with a giggle.

"Of course, vhenan," he replied, with an eyebrow raised in mock judgement. He left her to wash. "Are you going to take them to meet your pet?"

"She is hardly my pet. Besides, you of all people should not be giving me ideas. If she were my pet you would have to build me a much larger tower!"

His head reappeared in the doorway briefly to glare at her. Ellana laughed.

"I still am not fond of you visiting her without me. It is dangerous despite what you may think," he called through as Ellana finished up.

"I never claimed she wasn't dangerous. Maybe I'm drawn to it. Here I am with you and you're just as dangerous," she replied smirking to herself.

She got out of the bath with a shiver and started eagerly drying off.

"That is hardly the same. I am not a creature legendary for its vicious nature," Solas replied with annoyance.

Ellana stopped towelling as she stifled a laugh.

"Um…Solas…or should I say Fen'Harel…" She giggled. "Did you seriously just…"

"Yes, I heard it!"

She tied her hair up and came out to meet him with an apologetic kiss. He kept glaring at her but she could see the ghost of a smile creeping in to his expression.

"You are such a tease," he remarked letting the half-smile take over.

"I know," she replied, kissing him again.

His hand went to her bare stomach. It was not large, still invisible under loose clothing, but very apparent in her nude state. Ellana smiled as she placed her hand atop his.

"Such a tiny thing but yet it has changed our world," Solas remarked wistfully.

Ellana looked in to his downcast eyes and saw a glint of something there. He pulled away from her to finish dressing but Ellana kept her gaze planted firmly on him.

"Why won't you talk to me about it?" she asked.

"I do, regularly," he replied dismissively.

"About my safety and the baby's health but never anything beyond that." She started dressing hoping he would be more open to discussion without her full attention. "I want to know what you are thinking; how you feel about it all."

"Overwhelmed," he stated, avoiding looking at her.

"And?"

He let out a long sigh. "Ellana, I am not trying to purposefully hide from you if that is what you are thinking but I need time. I need to process everything myself before I can even think about…"

"But I want to help!" she interrupted. "I just want to know where you are and consolidate it with where I am."

"I am not saying I am unwilling to discuss your feelings, vhenan. I am here for you whenever you need me."

"I know that and I want to do the same for you! I want to be there for you," Ellana interrupted again.

"I know you do but that is just not my way, vhenan. It is not in my nature to air what I am feeling before I even truly know. It is not due to a defect on your part or our relationship's; it is merely a part of who I am. I need time."

Ellana nodded somewhat reluctantly. He came to her and lifted her chin so she met his gaze.

"I promise you, once I am ready you will be the first to know," he stated, kissing her lightly.

She smiled weakly up at him and he left her to resume dressing. She didn't want the conversation to end but she knew that pushing would only hurt the situation.

"I have to go," she eventually said. "I've left Dorian's letter on your desk if you want to read it but it is pretty much as I said."

Solas ran a hand over his head, reluctant to return to the working mind-set.

"If Orlais is coming around then we have a lot of work to do," Ellana added.

"Indeed but I doubt reading his exact words will offer much assistance."

"You're probably right," she replied, coming back over to his side. "But maybe you'll see something I didn't." She kissed him on the cheek before turning to leave.

"Wait."

He turned her back to him and pulled her hair free of the tie. With a hand he tousled her locks lightly, a gentle smile forming on his face.

"You are so beautiful," he uttered quietly.

She kissed him deeply before placing another lighter kiss on his lips.

"See you later…hopefully!" she joked as she made for the door.

"Maybe remind Shivra that you are carrying my child before you anger her, vhenan!" he called after her.

Ellana passed through the mirror on to the beach with Shivra, Lis and Miris in tow. She gave her friends a moment to take in their surroundings, not paying attention to their awe filled comments. She was too busy worrying about how she was going to approach Shivra. Since Lori had returned their relationship had been strained. Shivra still held an aversion towards her that Ellana found hard to understand. At first it had been easy to ignore as Ellana was too focused on seeing Lori through her grief but as that had lessened it became even more apparent. Lis had suggested they offer Lori a place on the team and truth be told Ellana had been thinking the same. She seemed such a natural choice – she was already friends with both her and Lis, she was skilled and, most of all, Ellana had trusted her. She needed people she could trust.

"So where is she?" Lis asked excitedly, tapping Ellana on the shoulder and free from her worries.

Ellana had seen so many dragons in her time that the idea of never having seen one seemed completely foreign. She could only imagine how her friends were feeling but their excitement still concerned her. So far the dragon had only met Solas up close and she did worry how she would react to a group, let alone an excited one. However, her bond with the beast had only grown over the last few days. Each day she visited had lessened the beast's apprehension more and more. Ellana felt like they now shared a mutual trust and hopefully that would prevent the worst from happening.

"She's inside," Ellana replied gesturing towards the opening in the cliffs. She corralled the rest of the group to her. "Try and remain calm, okay? I'm not sure how she is going to react but whatever you do, no sudden movements and absolutely no running. If I say you have to leave, do so slowly. Understand?"

"You are quite sure about this?" Miris asked sceptically.

Ellana smiled as she made her way towards the opening. The others stood nervously waiting.

"If you don't want to come I will understand but then you will miss seeing the ancient dragon…" Ellana slyly remarked.

Miris let out an angry noise and followed behind her. The others quickly filed in behind. The journey through was much easier than it had been before. Solas had spent some time clearing many of the more obstructing boulders. Originally Ellana presumed he was doing this for his own convenience but now she wondered if it was more with her in mind. As she grew larger she couldn't exactly be clambering through rocks and, although he hardly encouraged her visits, he knew her well enough to know she would keep them up. Once the group had made their way beyond the tunnel her friends let out further gasps at the sight of the ruin itself. Ellana scanned the area but couldn't see the dragon anywhere. She led her friends cautiously up the cliff-side path.

"She must be out hunting," Ellana thought.

It was unusual for a high dragon to do her own hunting but she was alone; she had no drakes to do it for her. The group eventually reached the top. A thick fog obscured the distant ocean so Ellana was unable to confirm her suspicions.

"You're sure you're ready?" Ellana asked the group.

Each one nodded. With their assent Ellana let out a loud whistle that reverberated through the valley.

"Dhaveira!" she called out.

Her voice echoed off the stone, becoming fainter with each repetition. She was about to call again when she heard a deep shrieking sound in the distance. Wings beating against the air could be heard drawing closer and she knew she had met her mark. Ellana followed the sound to determine the direction.

"Get behind me," she said, gesturing to her friends. "Do not move until I say."

Her friends all nodded as another shriek sounded. Ellana let out another whistle.

"By the gods…" Miris gasped.

The white dragon had broken free of the fog, colossal wings flying her towards them with surprising speed.

"It's fucking huge!" Shivra exclaimed.

The dragon slowed as she reached the island; guiding herself down to the ledge with the grace of a much smaller creature. With a crash of stone she landed in front of them. She bounded to greet Ellana, letting our happy trills. Ellana's friends took an instinctive step back. Ellana met the beasts head with a light stroke, feeling the warmth bleed in to her. The dragon nuzzled in to her gently letting out another softer shriek.

"Hello again my friend," Ellana greeted in a soothing tone. "Were you out hunting?"

The beast let out another happy trill, eagerly leaning in to Ellana's hand. She had learned that this meant Dhaveira wanted more so she kept on stroking obediently.

"I've brought some friends for you to meet. Do you think you would like that?"

The dragon paid little mind to her words. Ellana stopped caressing her to give her a chance to notice their company.

"See?" Ellana asked, turning to the side so the dragon could see her anxious friends more clearly.

The white dragon let out a low growl as she sniffed them intently. She drew closer to Lis sniffing her with particular favour. A low rumble sounded in the dragon's chest. Ellana took Lis's hand and placed it carefully on the dragon's skin. Lis let out a small gasp of amazement.

"Go ahead," Ellana prodded. "She likes when you rub her nose."

Lis looked on with wide eyes but slowly she started to run her hand along the bridge of the dragon's snout. A contented rumble reverberated around them.

"You are just so pretty aren't you?" Lis babied as the dragon trilled happily beneath her touch.

Ellana tried her best not to feel jealous but it was proving difficult. The dragon seemed to love Lis. To Ellana's relief she had allowed the others to touch her as well but Lis was the clear favourite. Miris had wandered off to explore the ruins with Shivra following but she had quickly grown bored. Shivra had no real interest in elven ruins. She now sat on the cliff edge admiring the ocean and Ellana reluctantly saw the opportunity. She left Lis, confident the dragon would do her no harm, and sat down alongside Shivra.

"Dragon not doing it for you?" Ellana asked hoping to set a lighter mood.

"It's pretty damn remarkable but I dunno…it's weird seeing one like this," Shivra replied carefully. "I guess I'll like it more when it's burning our enemies to a crisp."

"You sound just like Solas. He talks about her like she's some tool to be used in whatever war he's anticipating…"

"Well he's right isn't he? Would be a waste to have a dragon and not use it," Shivra added with a confused expression.

"I know but I just worry that if we open that door then it won't ever close. I don't want her to become just like any other dragon," Ellana mused.

"I dunno, she seems pretty stuck in her ways," Shivra remarked, looking back on coddling Lis with a laugh.

A silence descended between them. Shivra had seemed oddly contented recently and the last thing Ellana wanted to do was spoil that for her. Unfortunately it was necessary. She let out a long cleansing breath before speaking.

"There's something we need to talk about."

"Yeah, I know," Shivra replied seeming uncharacteristically resigned. "The Dalish one."

Shivra always avoided using Lori's name whenever she could.

"Lori; her name is Lori," Ellana added angrily. "And yes we need to talk about her. I want to ask her to join the team and…"

"You mean take Ari's place; only she fucking can't. She may be Dalish but she's no Ari!"

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" Ellana exclaimed finding it difficult to keep her cool. "No one can ever replace Ari but she is my friend and I want her with us."

Shivra scoffed angrily. "Well don't come crying to me when she fucks you over! I don't trust her Ellana and you shouldn't either."

"Are you sure that's the reason? You seem jealous."

"Fuck no!" Shivra exclaimed angrily. She made to shout again but stopped herself. She took in a few deep breaths before continuing much calmer. "She's you're friend so I guess you can't see it but it's there. The way she looks at you when she thinks you can't see… You can't trust her."

"You're wrong. She's my friend and you might not know what that means but I know I can trust her," Ellana replied coldly.

Shivra looked hurt but she managed to maintain her composure. It was bizarre seeing her successfully avoiding anger.

"Look, at the end of the day it's your decision. I've said my piece and if this is what you want then go right ahead but don't say I didn't warn you," Shivra said.

She got up and left Ellana sitting alone on the cliffs.

The group had made their way through the forest and back to camp. Shivra had said nothing more about Lori. She was never going to be happy with Ellana's decision but at least it seemed like she respected it. Shivra seemed so much calmer, more in control and Ellana couldn't help but wonder what had changed.

When they finally reached the camp Ellana's mood instantly darkened. Lori was where they had left her; restringing her bow by the fire; but she was no longer alone. Another woman stood at her side, long dark hair fluttering in the breeze. Ellana recognised that hair. Liahra's impatient expression stared back at her as she turned. Her dark eyes glinted wickedly, foot tapping with annoyance. Ellana steeled herself.

"Ah the revered She-Wolf finally graces us with her presence. Off playing at leadership were you?" the elf remarked coldly.

Ellana readied a suitably stony reply but Shivra beat her to it.

"Who the fuck is this bitch?"

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Ellana thought, chuckling to herself.

But Liahra was entirely unfazed. She regarded Shivra with a cold, contemptuous look before turning her attention back to Ellana.

"How silly of me, I forget we have yet to be formally introduced. I am Liahra and I have been a commander in your…lover's…" she sneered the word with her lip curled. "…army for some time."

Ellana winced on the inside damning Solas for ever choosing to associate with this woman.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" Shivra bellowed before Ellana could react. "You jealous or something because it fucking seems like it! If you've got a problem with her then you've got a problem with all of us, bitch!"

Shivra advanced threateningly but Liahra just rolled her eyes.

"My problem does not concern you or any of your little friends," she replied coolly. She turned to Ellana with an amused expression. "Are all your soldiers so boorish? Hardly the image the great She-Wolf should be portraying is it?"

"Enough," Ellana interjected before Shivra had a chance to strangle her. "What do you want? I doubt you came here just to exchange insults."

"No, unfortunately I did not," Liahra replied. She paused to look contemptuously at Ellana's surrounding friends.

"Come inside; we can talk alone," Ellana said, gesturing to her disused tent.

Her friends looked on with worry as she led the elf inside. Once inside Liahra cast an amused glance around the sparse surroundings.

"Why are you here, Liahra? Why come to me with anything when you so clearly regard me with nothing but contempt?" Ellana prompted.

Liahra's lips broke in to a sneer. "Trust me, if I had any other option I would never have come but sadly you appear to be the only one he listens to; although I couldn't tell you why."

"You speak of Fen'Harel I assume?" Ellana replied, her lip curling in annoyance. "Perhaps he would listen to you if you were a little less difficult? Your approach certainly leaves much to be desired."

"You think so do you? I imagine he would disagree. After all, he has trusted my council for quite some time before you showed up," Liahra remarked, a hint of genuine anger entering her tone. She stopped to let out a long sigh. "Look, as you no doubt are aware Fen'Harel is not one to shy away from argument. Usually that argument is entirely warranted and he more than makes that plain but in this case he is blinded. He has no just reasoning but yet he refuses and that is not how he operates; he does not sacrifice obvious gain without cause."

"And what is your point exactly? What are we talking about here?" Ellana interrupted.

"Tevinter."

Ellana raised an eyebrow. "But he does have reasons to wait, perfectly just ones. We need to be fully prepared before we can make our move. We need information and he has not managed to break the Magister so…"

"And you believe that?!" Liahra interrupted with a cold laugh, her hair dancing with her amusement. "How long has it been? Too long in my estimations. From what you know of the Magister, and considering how close you got I presume you know more than most, do you honestly think he could last this long beneath the wrath of the Dread Wolf? Are you honestly that foolish or will you just believe anything he tells you?"

Ellana couldn't tell if it was just anger or the fact that what Liahra was saying made a lot of sense but she lost her composure. She shoved Liahra against one of the supports and brought her forearm to rest across her throat.

"What are you trying to say; that he's lying to me?! You don't know what you're talking about!" Ellana yelled inches from Liahra's face.

The dark haired elf barely reacted. She fixed Ellana with a cold stare.

"I am saying that you should ask him yourself," she replied coolly. "Find out that his reasons have nothing to do with our cause and I fear everything to do with you. You have ruined him," she looked down sneeringly at Ellana's stomach. "Both of you. If you can't make him see sense then the blood of those we lose is on your hands."

Ellana released her letting out a pained noise as she did.

"Enemies advance on all sides and we stand in the centre, waiting. We cannot afford to wait any longer," Liahra went on. "Ask him. See for yourself."

Liahra made for the opening but stopped just before reaching it.

"Congratulations by the way," she remarked, gesturing towards Ellana's belly. "Hopefully the accident has a happy ending."

Ellana closed her eyes and let out a long sigh as Liahra left the tent.

"Fuck…"

Ellana refused to believe what she had heard. She was going to talk to Solas about it, there was no doubt in her mind about that, but she wouldn't believe a word of it until she had heard it from him. She told herself that Liahra was just making it up; trying to poke holes in their relationship. She told herself she was certain he would not lie to her again. Yet a small, logical part of her couldn't deny that Liahra's claims did make a lot of sense. She had been too distracted recently to wonder about the Magister or question the lack of progress but the more she thought about it the more unlikely it seemed that he was still managing to hold out. Ellana struck these thoughts from her mind. She had to deal with her friends before she could find out the truth of the matter.

"What was that bitch's problem?" Shivra asked angrily as Ellana finally emerged from the tent.

Ellana ignored her, too busy scouting the area to ensure Liahra had left.

"She's gone," she uttered with a sigh of relief as she sat down amongst her expectant friends.

"What did she want?" Lis asked carefully, not sure it was her place.

"She wants me to talk to Solas about something; try and convince him…"

"Bitch should do it herself!" Shivra interrupted loudly. "What the fuck does she think you are; her errand boy?"

"It's not that simple," Ellana replied.

"Who even was she?" Miris piped up. "She really didn't seem to like you…"

"She's a member of Solas's council, one of his top commanders and no, she does not like me," Ellana explained blankly.

"Won't he be mad that she treated you in that way? She was pretty damn rude," Lis added.

"Not everyone is going to like me or our relationship," Ellana said in a resigned tone. "I don't need him to fight my battles for me or you guys for that matter so don't even start, Shivra." Shivra closed her open mouthed with a crestfallen look. "I can handle her; I've dealt with far worse."

"I suppose you can," Miris replied.

Ellana looked on at their worried faces. She had never liked being pitied. Lori was the pleasant exception; her features held little expression. Her green eyes glinted as Ellana gazed at her.

"We need to talk," Ellana eventually said.

Lori looked taken aback and for a fleeting moment nervous.

"There is something I want to ask you," Ellana clarified.

Shivra rolled her eyes as Ellana got up. Lori nodded and followed her out towards the forest.

"How are you?" Ellana asked, trying to break the odd tension that had formed between them as they walked. "I mean…how are you getting on?"

Lori's expression remained impassive. To those that didn't know her she seemed innocent and sweet with her doe-eyed, freckled looks. During a job she would even play on this – acting naïve and child-like to fool their marks but Ellana knew better. Lori was cunning and when it came to her work she was ruthless.

"Better. It has been difficult but I feel like I have turned a corner. Your teammates have generally been really nice to me," Lori started, not making eye contact.

"Generally? You're talking about Shivra…"

"She doesn't seem to like me much," Lori muttered with a notable hint of sadness in her tone.

"Shivra is…a difficult person to get to know. She was the same with me in the beginning. It takes a lot of time and a lot of insults but once you do know her she's a good person," Ellana replied.

"Lis said pretty much the same thing. I can understand her apprehension. I've come in out of nowhere and she's threatened. It's fair enough."

Ellana nodded as they reached the trees. Lori looked expectant as though she knew what was coming. Ellana wondered if Lis had already told her.

"But you do feel better, being here with us?" Ellana asked hopefully.

Lori finally looked up. "I do. I feel like I have new purpose and that is just what I needed," she replied. Her lip curled at one side for a split second before forming in to a gentle smile.

"Good, I'm glad. I…I wanted to ask you if…" Ellana had never felt nervous about asking someone to join her team before but for some reason she was feeling it now. "I wanted to know if you would be interested in staying with us; joining the team full time? It's fine if you don't want to and you don't have to answer right away but I wanted to ask."

Lori's expression remained unchanged for a moment before turning exuberant.

"Of course I would! This is all I've ever wanted!" she exclaimed running to hug Ellana. "Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome," Ellana uttered, crushed by Lori's embrace.

"I have to go tell Lis!"

She released Ellana and ran off back towards camp with an excited spring in her step. Ellana contentedly watched her go, even more convinced that Shivra was wrong about her.

Ellana felt nothing but trepidation as she entered the tower. Elves milling about the corridor stopped what they were doing to whisper to one another. They tried to conceal that she was the topic of conversation but she knew nonetheless. It was such a regular occurrence now that she didn't dwell on it for long. She made for the platform, stopping briefly to gaze at the doorway that led down to the Magister's prison.

"Are you even still in there?" she thought in a moment of fleeting doubt.

She had made her way here as soon as she could so it was early. She stopped at the office door and listened for voices. Hearing none, she entered. Solas looked up from his desk and met her with a warm smile that glinted into his eyes.

"So you survived! That is a relief," he said, his grin widening as he got up. "With the way this day has been going I expected nothing positive would ever come."

He embraced her and kissed her gratefully.

"Bad day?" Ellana asked, questioning if she should even broach the subject of Tevinter.

"I am afraid so," he lamented but when he looked down on her the smiling glint still remained in his eyes. "The reports we have received from Orlais suggest that Magister Pavus was unfortunately correct. The Orlesians are now finding our version of events wanting and thus seriously considering the Inquisition's proposal. I fear our time of relative peace is coming to an end."

"But how can you know for sure? Surely keeping agents in Orlais is somewhat of an impossible task."

"You would think so but no. Your work repairing Briala's relationship with the Empress all those years ago aided me greatly," he replied, stroking her hair appreciatively. "With Briala, come elves and amongst those elves are our people. Your actions paved the way for them."

"Yet another thing you owe me for," Ellana remarked jokingly.

"Indeed." He let out a slight chuckle and planted a light kiss on her forehead. "So, how was your discussion? Did she react as negatively as you expected?"

"She was pretty calm actually. It's bizarre, she seems so much more stable these days," Ellana replied. Looking up at him she noted the knowing look that passed briefly across his expression. She would have to ask him about that later. "She is adamant I can't trust Lori which could create tension but otherwise it went better than I had expected."

He looked suddenly concerned. "Why does she believe you cannot trust her?"

"She didn't really say. Something about the way she looks at me. Like you could tell from that alone!"

"I would not dismiss her concerns so readily, vhenan. You can tell a great deal from a simple look," he retorted looking decidedly sceptical. "I know she was your friend but time can change much. Shivra has proven herself to be trustworthy and is far from incapable; her judgement is certainly worthy of at least some consideration."

"I know. I would never dismiss her outright but I just don't see it. That said if it will ease your worries…" She reached up and touched his cheek. "…I'll keep it in mind going forward."

"Good," he finished, planting another kiss amongst her hair.

He left her side to bring order to the papers he had been working on. Considering his day had been anything but enjoyable he seemed in a surprisingly good mood. Ellana fidgeted nervously as her mind raced with indecision. So lost in thought she didn't notice him turning back and watching her. He cocked his head to the side and his brow furrowed.

"Is everything alright, vhenan?" he asked.

"I… Well…" she stuttered, her mind stalled at his unexpected attention. "Liahra came to see me."

His eyes widened. "Why? I was not even aware she was here. Did she mistreat you?"

"That's neither here nor there…"

"So she did?" He let out an angry noise. "The one thing I asked of her is that she leave you out of this! I…"

"She wanted to talk to me about Tevinter," Ellana interrupted. He instantly stopped raving and his expression quickly became blank. "I need to ask you about it."

He clutched his arms behind his back in his natural defensive posture. It appeared deceptively open but Ellana knew better.

"What would you have me tell you?" he replied, his features entirely unreadable; his tone measured.

A lump rose in Ellana's throat but she crushed it back down. He was trying to control the situation; she had seen it all before.

"I need to know why we are waiting, specifically your reasoning. You told me that we would move on Tevinter as soon as we were ready. You said that all that was left was the Magister," Ellana started with a rapid pace. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. "Liahra said some things and she made me doubt. It's been so long and you are relentless. How could he hold up under such scrutiny? I just don't understand how…"

"He is dead."

Ellana stopped talking with a start. She gazed at Solas in a state of complete confusion.

"What did you say?"

"The Magister, he is already dead, vhenan," Solas replied still expressionless.

"What?! How?!" Ellana asked more loudly than she had intended.

"He had given me all the information he could offer so I killed him."

"When?!" She didn't give him time to reply, her mind racing too fast. "So you have been lying about it?! Then tell me Solas, why are we waiting?! Is there an actual reason or is that a lie too?!"

"I did not lie to you; I kept it from you," he replied, his façade starting to crack. "It is there, vhenan. What we need is in Tevinter and I cannot face that yet. The last thing I wanted was to have to wage full-blown war on the Imperium, especially now. I need more time."

"That is no reason to lie to me! If you want to avoid it then do! We have other options!"

"No, we do not," he murmured suddenly sheepish.

"What do you mean?!"

He looked anywhere but at her.

"But the ruins?!" she exclaimed questioningly. He offered no answer. Her eyes widened as she reached the answer on her own. "You did hear it, didn't you? You know exactly what's in there! You know it isn't what we need," she thought aloud, her voice cracking.

He closed his eyes, resigned to what was to come.

"You lied about that too?! How could you do that to me?!" Ellana yelled closing the distance between them. "What is it, Solas?! Tell me now!"

"I cannot do that, vhenan. Everything I have done I did to save you. I knew you would try and stop me but I cannot lose you." He could no longer keep his emotions crushed inside and tears welled in his eyes. He took her by the shoulders. "She is not even born, not even in this world and I cannot…"

He trailed off unable to go on. The desperation in his eyes broke Ellana's anger and she too felt tears welling.

"Then I can't do this anymore." Ellana murmured as the first tear fell.

Solas looked at her in disbelief. "What? You cannot possibly mean…?"

"You lied to me…again. I never thought you would but you have. You broke your promise. I can't trust you and if I can't trust you…"

"No…" he uttered, his expression crumpling in despair.

"I can't do this anymore."

Ellana pulled away from his touch and her tears fell more rapidly. She turned to leave but he grabbed at her desperately.

"No, wait! We are having a child, Ellana! This cannot be the end!" he cried.

"Solas, no," she said slipping free of his grasp. "I can't. I love you…I love you so much but I can't keep living like this. Each day I have let my hopes for us grow and, just like before, you have crushed them. I can't keep doing this. I just can't. I'm sorry."

Tears flooded her as she left. She didn't look back, her resolve too weak to face what she knew she would see. She needed time to process everything that cascaded through her troubled mind. As she descended the tower she was surprised not to hear his usual angry cries and crashing of furniture but thinking on it made her feel worse. The air had not crackled; there was no glow in his eyes. He wasn't angry. All she had seen was desolation. Even though his actions had been the catalyst the thought that she had caused him to feel such pain hurt her more than anything.

Ellana had given up on sleep as she had for the past few nights. They had returned from the Exalted Council only days ago and her hurt was still raw. She descended the steps from her quarters. She didn't consciously decide where she was going but it was inevitable where she would end up. As she crossed the great hall there was no one there to question. Skyhold was mercifully quiet. She could hear distant voices from the courtyard. Late night revellers were no doubt keeping the inn open. When she came to the painted room, as she always did, she looked on the walls blankly. She sat down on the stone floor as her tears started to well.

"I am stronger than this," she thought desperately.

She thought back to a time when she had been just as lost; the last time he had walked away from her. Her friends had tried to keep her afloat as best they could. She recalled one night at the inn, taken under duress. For a time they had succeeded in keeping her pain at bay but an unexpected detail made her crumble. The bard sang, as she had done for much of the night, but this song was different. The words rung so true that she could have sworn they were about her. In hindsight she doubted that were true but at the time she had felt ashamed. That night she committed the song to memory as a reminder that she needed to find her strength lest she fail those that counted on her.

In the painted room she started singing that song, desperately trying to find her strength once again. She managed for some time, holding back the tears through sheer strength of will but a wolf howling in the distance made her stop. She looked up at the sound as a familiar tormentor.

"No…" she uttered.

As a second howl came in reply to the first her will broke.

"Leave me alone! Please!" she yelled taking to her feet.

Silence for a while before a third howl mercilessly sounded.

"No! Leave me alone!" she screamed in rage.

She picked up the nearest object and threw it at the wall, screaming still. With her will gone tears had started to fall, hot and rage-filled. She picked up anything she could find to hurl and the walls cracked under the impact. The last object left her hand waywardly, slashing at her as it went. Blood spattered on the floor and she let out another scream. She fell in a heap. On her hands and knees she sobbed in to the ground, struggling to breathe. She was aware of nothing as her pain hit her with full force.

"Wake." A whisper from the beyond ordered.

Her mind drifted free. At first she didn't know where she was. She gazed up and caught sight of the walls she knew so well. Her chest hurt from the crying and her breathing was still laboured. She pushed herself up to catch her breath and a twinge of pain ran through her injured hand. She looked down at her bloodstained palm and to her shock the flesh knitted back together.

"What the…"

She stared at her healed hand in utter confusion.

"I am sorry. I should not have awakened you."

Ellana turned to the voice and was shocked to see Solas seated with his head in his hands. He would not look at her but she could tell he had been crying.

"You shouldn't even be here!" Ellana exclaimed, anger at the intrusion starting to fill her. "How dare you even…!"

"You know me better than most. You must know I have made myself watch this so many times I lost count. It was wrong of me but I had to see your pain, every moment of it," he interrupted not meeting her gaze.

Ellana's eyes still stung from her sobbing so she was powerless to stop a tear from falling.

"Why would you do that to yourself?" she asked, her anger lessened in the wake of his admission.

"Because I deserved every moment of it!" he suddenly shouted, making her jump. "I came to your side with specific purpose and what did I do? I fell in love with you. You of all people! I loved you but yet I still hurt you. I could not let myself walk away from that. I had to see what I had done."

"Even after putting yourself through all that pain you learned nothing. You are still hurting me."

Solas came down to her level. He didn't touch her, knowing that would only anger her but he still made her look at him.

"I did not do this to hurt you," he said. Ellana looked away. "After the Inquisition I told you that there was nothing I would not do to protect you. I meant every word; even if that means lying to you, even if that means hurting you. I tell you this because I know that you would do the exact same thing; you have shown that already."

"No, I would have trusted you…"

"Like you did before with the Inquisition; with our child?" he retorted, anger creeping in.

"I have made mistakes just like you have, I will never deny that, but if I chose a path like yours I would want you with me, not against me," Ellana replied managing to keep her cool.

"That is not true and you know it. In this neither of us can ever be truly honest. We both want to protect the other no matter the cost to ourselves and those are opposing ideals."

"And that is selfish…"

He looked up at her in confusion.

"You don't want to lose me. That has nothing to do with me. I accepted my fate a long time ago. Everything you are doing is for yourself. Keeping me alive is everything to you even if we both suffer as a result. I shouldn't have to accept that; no one should," she continued mirthlessly. She met his gaze. "I can't keep doing this; neither of us can."

She shook loose of him and came to her feet.

"I would like to wake up now," she requested holding back her tears.

"Ellana, please," he begged as he rose. "Please do not give up."

"I will never give up on you, Solas; never," she said looking in to his eyes. "But I don't know if I can trust you anymore. I need time and so do you."

He closed his eyes and let out a long pained breath.

"Then I am bound to giving you that time. I love you, Ellana, and I always will."

"I know," she replied.

She wanted to kiss him and forget everything so badly that the effort alone ached. His sad eyes only worsened her state. Trying to avoid his gaze she looked down at the floor. He took her chin in his hand and raised her face up to look at him.

"Ar lath ma vhenan," he said before kissing her deeply.

Beneath him she was powerless to resist. In that moment she wanted to forget everything, to forgive blindly. He pulled away from her.

"Wake up," he ordered.

She awoke instantly in her tent not knowing what she wanted anymore.

A/N - So Ellana's dream song... I always imagined it as 'Wicked Game' (hence the title). Blast from the past, I know but the lyrics are just so perfect for Ellana post-trespasser. Seriously, go read them, it's like it's about them. Anyways I'm not a big fan of the original; my favourite version (and the one I imagined) is a more recent one by 'Ursine Vulpine featuring Annaca' if you're interested. It's more of an obvious downer which is definitely my thing. BYE!