A/N - Hey guys, hope life is treating you well. So this chapter and the next were originally supposed to be one but I ended up splitting them. First off as one chapter it was way too long and secondly there was a bit of a mood/location shift that seemed like a suitable place for a break. Anyways, hope you enjoy.

"Keeper."

The whisper awoke Mirwen in an instant.

"Dread Wolf. I anticipated you would return sooner or later," Mirwen stated looking up at Solas with twinkling eyes. "Bruised, abandoned, lost and desperate. It must feel strange to be the one left behind."

Solas struggled to find the words. "There is an unexpected clarity that comes with it but it feels empty nonetheless."

"It always does." She touched his arm reassuringly but it did nothing to quell his sorrow. "Fear of loss brings clarity, a fear she does not yet share." Her expression became blank, lost in thought. "Shadow on the wall; pain, broken; the hush before the storm and then resolution only to be taken." She blinked rapidly. "What would you ask of me?" she suddenly questioned.

Solas said nothing.

"Surely there must be a reason you have come?" she went on, gazing up expectantly.

He looked away from her feeling ashamed by his own weakness.

"I need to know… You have seen much; whether any of it is true is another matter entirely but I need to know…" He trailed off finding it difficult to abandon scepticism entirely.

"You need to know if I have seen the end you seek."

It hurt his pride to hear her say it. "If that is possible…"

"You seek to change the world but keep them unchanged. You seek to make the world worthy," Mirwen said her pace rapid. "You would make the world as light as she but can any world ever be truly worthy?"

"I did not come here to debate. Answer me or do not," Solas replied trying his best to hide his frustration.

Mirwen stopped her questioning and pondered. When he could take the waiting no longer she finally spoke.

"In a forest lies a home. A spire glints in the distance, a symbol of the change you thought impossible. Care free, she runs amongst the trees, shielded; never knowing the meaning of true danger. Her mother fears that if she is not careful danger will find her but you know she is strong; she was born to be."

Solas closed his eyes as breath left him.

"You both suffered so she would not have to," Mirwen finished.

He opened his eyes and looked down on the Keeper. Joy and sorrow wrestled inside him.

"Thank you," he said.

"But it is not enough?" she added questioningly. A ghost of a smile crept in to his expression. "You would find your own answers; it is your way. You only wished to know if such an endeavour was worth your time."

He sat down beside her.

"It seems you have interpreted me correctly once again, Keeper. Show me what you will. I am finally ready."

Over the past week Ellana had expected to be consumed by sadness but instead she just felt numb. She had managed to keep up with many of her duties despite her friends' insistence that she take a break. Ellana had not told them everything lest she reveal too much but she had explained it as best she could. Unsurprisingly they had all reacted with disbelief but Shivra was the only one who seemed directly opposing. She couldn't understand how Ellana could just walk away. Although Ellana still had a hard time focusing, keeping up her day to day activities did stop her from dwelling. Some tasks were more difficult to cope with than others. Worst by far was attending her check-up with Mirwen and Firanni as it entailed seeing Solas again. She had hoped he would avoid it but it seemed he too was managing to cope. It was their first reunion so when she saw him she prepared for the worst. To her surprise he said little to her beyond token comments. When he left he simply told her to stay well and she was left more confused than ever. Seeing Solas after this was easier. She made sure they were never alone, still unable to trust herself, but in the company of others they were able to interact surprisingly well as colleagues. Given that their interactions would likely only increase as the Inquisition gained steam she was glad they had found a way to coexist. She still did not know if she wanted him but she was certain she still wanted the cause. At least that would never change.

On the top floor of the ivory tower Ellana leaned against the stone war table. The assemblage of Solas's council had finally adjourned and she felt relieved. She had not anticipated she would find the topic so emotive and it had been hard to maintain an air of composure. She was glad it hand ended before her façade broke. With discussions over she moved between her colleagues, speaking with each in turn as they filed out.

"My, how you have grown! Congratulations again, my dear," the elderly Commander Getros commented as he met her.

Ellana took his hands appreciatively. "Thank you, Commander. You are too kind."

"You must start taking more rest, my dear. You are much too bound to your work!" he added, shooting a slight glare over her shoulder. Ellana wondered if it was directed at Solas.

"I would be so lucky! Unfortunately the work does not do itself, Commander, but I will keep your words in mind," she replied with a half-smile.

Getros tapped her on the shoulder and bid her farewell. Ellana had gotten to know all of Solas's advisers on a first name basis. She was particularly fond of old Getros although she did wonder why they kept him around. Turning to greet another she caught sight of Solas watching her with a warm smile. Her noticing did nothing to stop him. He kept watching her until only she remained.

"Ellana, we need to talk," he stated just as she was about to follow her colleagues out.

She turned back to him trying to hide her anxiety as much as she could.

"About what?" she asked carefully.

"The Inquisition."

She breathed an internal sigh of relief and allowed herself to come closer to him.

"What about them?" she asked, no longer feeling the need to avoid his gaze.

"From what you have said today it is clear to me that you remain in denial about our situation. We walk a known path; one that I fear will not end in the compromise you so wish for. It is difficult to accept, I know but I would not see you falter when hope becomes lost," he explained with a sigh.

"You think war is inevitable."

He nodded sadly and she bowed her head, mirroring his mood.

"I cannot give up just yet but I understand what you're saying. I will try to come to terms with what might happen as best I can," she concluded.

He looked down on her with a wry smile and she returned it. A quiet voice in the back of her mind willed her to leave. She shook it off.

"It's just hard, you know? I know the cost of our actions, I know I wanted this but it's different when you have to face it head on. Knowing you are sacrificing people you care for is one thing but having to face them on a battlefield is another thing entirely. I had hoped we could avoid it but… Maybe it is just something I have to do."

She had not intended to air her feelings to him and she didn't know why she had but she couldn't deny the feeling of need.

"Friends becoming enemies is never easy. Feelings become confused, muddied. You cannot hide from it. The prospect of a loss you will not see is far preferable," he mused carefully, propping himself against the table behind. "But why do you feel it is something you must do?"

Ellana couldn't help but smile. "Just as you said - I cannot hide from it. I will have to see the cost of our actions. So many people have told me I am wrong and after so much I can't help but wonder. Can I ever truly fathom what I am doing? Maybe war is what I need to understand, to know for certain. I'm just afraid that when the time comes I will not be strong enough to face them."

"You will be. No doubt you will fight against it every step of the way but once you set your mind to something you are unstoppable."

Ellana felt irrepressible warmth radiate through her as his confident gaze met hers. She suddenly became very aware of the fact that they were alone.

"What of Tevinter?" she asked, hoping he hadn't noticed her anxiety; desperate to change the subject.

"Preparations have begun but it will be slow; especially so given my unwarranted delays. You were right; I was being entirely selfish."

"Not entirely…" she couldn't help saying.

"Any amount is too much. I will just have to increase my efforts."

Ellana watched him with scepticism. "On Tevinter or on…"

"What do you think?" he interrupted, eyes fixed on hers.

She stared in to his eyes and her heart raced. She broke their eye contact as quickly as she could.

"So what will take so long? Entering Tevinter is a seemingly impossible task but surely not beyond our capabilities? Certainly not beyond yours," she asked, internally cursing herself for the last comment.

Solas raised a sceptical eyebrow and shifted against the table.

"That almost sounded like a compliment…" he remarked with a hint of amusement in his tone.

Ellana felt herself redden. She was starting to feel like a swooning teenager and she detested it.

"While I may not trust you, I do know exactly what you are capable of," she clarified weakly.

"Do you really?" he asked with a knowing smile.

Their eyes met and Ellana's heart started to pound again. The amused glint slowly evaporated from Solas's eyes. Before she knew what she was doing she was kissing him. Her hands wrapped around his neck and pressing her body against his she felt the warmth again, the safety. After so long, it was the most wonderful feeling. Eventually Solas laid a palm against her breastbone and forced her back. Centimetres from him she studied his features, desperately trying to comprehend what he was thinking.

"I think you should go," he eventually advised. Ellana looked on in wide-eyed disbelief. "A moment of rash desire is no way to make a decision. I am sorry; I should not have encouraged it."

"I want you," she replied, trying desperately to kiss him again, touch him; anything to bring back the feeling.

He held her back. "No you don't, at least not by your estimations. I would love nothing more than to throw you down on this table and…" He trailed off, lost in imagination for a moment but he recovered all too quickly to give in. "Your absence, while unpleasant, has given me time to earn clarity. Perhaps you should take the time to consider your alleged feelings as well."

"Alleged feelings?!" she shouted pulling away from their close proximity.

"Indeed. We are more similar than you think. If the roles were reversed…" He stopped abruptly. She looked on at him blankly. "Why did you kiss me, Ellana?" She made to speak but he interrupted. "And do not cite base sexual attraction; see deeper than that. What did you seek from me?"

Ellana didn't believe she had even thought about it; in her mind there was no reasoning. He watched her with an annoyingly knowing smile.

"Why do you have to make everything so damn complicated?" she replied angrily. "Maybe I did just want to fuck you; sometimes it is just that simple!"

"If only it were," he remarked wistfully. Not thinking, he reached out and took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. She shirked away from him and his expression turned blank. "As much as I would like to, I will not spell it out for you. Think on it; take this time to consider." He started walking away from her.

"Where are you going? We're not done here!" Ellana shouted.

"For now, we are. I have work to do but my evenings remain glaringly free if you have more questions…"

Ellana turned and left before he could finish. She couldn't help but feel angry. It stung to know that even when she had been the one to leave he was still the one in control.

"Smug bastard," she thought feeling an unwelcome hint of endearment.

Ellana walked back to meet her friends still seething. She kept thinking she should have torn him a new one but that was all bluster. She was only angry because he seemed so sure whereas she still felt a mess. A selfish part of her had wanted him to remain lost without her but it was clear he was anything but that. When she finally sat down with her friends Shivra almost immediately launched in to another tirade about Solas. Ellana stayed out of it, entirely unwilling to talk about him yet again. Luckily Lis was there to fight her corner.

"I know it's none of my business but why would you do that to yourself? Yeah, he lied to you but so did you! Twice! Why would you give up now after all you've been through?" Shivra ranted.

"You make it sound like this is the first time he's done this when you know perfectly well that's bullshit! He lied to her a tonne before and to do it again… Fair enough it was a deal breaker," Lis argued in return.

"Yeah but it's not is it?! She still loves him; he still loves her! They're just avoiding one another and it's fucking stupid! Why deny something that you both know is always going to be there?! Especially when you have to fucking work together! She could avoid so much hassle if she just accepted what he was trying to do and moved on!" Shivra retorted.

Lis rolled her eyes. "Love does not give you the right to forget everyone else. Why should he get to put himself in danger to protect her? That doesn't make her happy. If she's dead then she's dead – no worries. If he's dead and she lives… Let me tell you I know what that is like and it's no way to live!"

"Oh piss off with your points!" Shivra shouted.

"You're just mad because you know I'm right!" Lis retorted in a sing-song voice.

They kept arguing but Ellana was too focused on deciphering Solas's words to care. She still couldn't understand what he had been getting at. The simplest explanation for why she kissed him was desire and that was what she rested on. She had been used to a fairly prolific sex-life before their separation so it seemed natural that she would be having cravings. Besides, she couldn't deny that she did miss him.

"What the fuck, Ellana, you miss him? But he lied to you! Do you miss that? No don't be stupid; you just miss the sex. But then why did it take you so long…why not jump his bones the second you were alone if that's what you wanted all along?" she thought.

When they had been talking the thought hadn't even entered her mind until later. Now that she truly thought about it she had hardly been plagued by desire in his absence. She cursed herself for assuming anything between them could ever be so shallow.

"So let's be honest, it's definitely not just the sex you're missing. He's always been a wonderful person to talk to…no not wonderful, let's not give him that much credit…'insightful' is more accurate. Hardly surprising given how well he knows you. Is that what he was getting at? No, he'd never be so smug about such a simplistic answer. Why did you kiss him?"

She thought back, trying to remember what had set her off. They had teased one another which had definitely contributed but she had felt something before then.

"Did he do that thing when he gets uncomfortable where his throat quivers? Gods, that is delicious… Is there anything hotter than knowing you alone can make an otherwise unyielding man that flustered?" She smiled to herself but quickly her expression dropped. "No, don't be an idiot; he was far from uncomfortable. He was playing you as easily as one of those card games he used to kick your ass at."

Ellana's mind drifted off in to a memory of herself half naked and shivering throwing cards at him as he won yet another hand; still fully clothed, his self-satisfied smile framed by the painted walls of his former home. Her thighs tightened together as she relived what happened next.

"For fucks sake, Ellana, focus! Are you seriously this pathetic?! Why did you damn well kiss him?! What set you off?!"

She remembered his initial topic: the Inquisition. Thinking back on it she was ashamed to admit the conversation could have easily ended there but she kept it going.

"Why? What did you want from him?"

She remembered her voiced fears and the warmth that he had brought her. She smiled at the memory of the feeling.

"Are you quite alright? You seem even more distracted than usual?" Miris whispered.

Ellana looked up with a start. "What?" she asked.

Miris gestured for her to keep her voice down lest they interrupt their arguing friends. "You seem more distracted than usual," Miris repeated. "Did something bad happen at the meeting?"

"No. I mean, yes. I mean, sort of," Ellana uselessly whispered back.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Miris questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"I…I fucked up," Ellana started carefully. Thinking maybe discussing it with someone could be helpful she went on, "I kissed Solas."

"What?! You kissed him!" Miris exclaimed, definitely not in a whisper.

Their friends instantly stopped arguing. Miris covered her mouth with a hand and gave Ellana an apologetic look.

"You did what?!" Shivra exclaimed.

Ellana took her head in her hands as she reddened under the scrutiny of them all. She was feeling pathetic again and she still hated it.

"What the fuck, Ellana?!" Lis added looking genuinely annoyed.

"After the meeting he wanted to talk to me and we were alone… I don't know why I did it but I kissed him," Ellana tried to explain still hiding her face. "Smug bastard acted like he had been expecting it, that I was the one being ridiculous!"

"You are the one being ridiculous," Shivra piped up, unable to stop herself.

Lis and Ellana simultaneously glared at her.

"She wasn't the one who lied! She wasn't the one endangering herself!" Lis added angrily.

"No but the only reason she is in this position is because this time she was the one needing protected," Shivra tried to explain. "If the roles had been reversed…"

Ellana stopped listening, suddenly overtaken by thought. Shivra's words had reminded her of something exceedingly similar Solas had said.

"If the roles were reversed… What if he was the one that was going to die? What if I was the only one that could save him? If it meant endangering myself, if he would never allow it would I behave as he has?"

Ellana's intent concentration kept her from realising that her friend's had fallen silent. She also didn't notice the additional elf until he spoke.

"My lady, I have a letter…"

Ellana looked up; broken from realisation. She gazed blankly at the elf. He held out an envelope to her and she looked on it with a bemused expression.

"This letter came for you," the elf prompted.

"Oh!" Ellana exclaimed, finally understanding. "Thank you."

She took the letter from him and he left, gawking back at her with concern. She examined the envelope, her train of thought long forgotten. The handwriting on the outside told her immediately that it was from Dorian but that only begged more questions. She had sent her reply to his last letter only yesterday so there was no way he could have received it already. She rushed to tear it open both desperate and apprehensive to find out the contents. Shivra continued her argument with Lis but Ellana was much too worried to listen.

"It's a fucking waste of time, that's what it is," Shivra argued. "I mean what the fuck is she waiting for? Does she want him to promise he'll never lie to her again because that is just fucking stupid. Sometimes it's necessary to keep things from the people you care about. That doesn't mean you don't trust one another! If the shit hits she'll still go running to him like she always does!"

Just before Lis could reply Ellana interrupted them both.

"Oh shit!" she exclaimed getting suddenly to her feet.

The group exchanged confused looks. Ellana kept frantically scanning the letter.

"What is it?" Lis asked.

Ellana started pacing manically.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" she ranted. "I have to go. I have to tell Solas."

The group exchanged more confused looks.

"Tell Solas…?" Lis muttered in confusion. She got up to interrupt the pacing. "Ellana what the fuck is going on?!"

"They know!" she shouted. "They know! They fucking know!"

She ran off without further explanation. Her friends exchanged yet more confused glances.

"Told you," Shivra added smugly before they all ran after her.

"Where is he?!" Ellana exclaimed as she barged in to Varden's office. "He's not upstairs; I can't find him anywhere! Where is he?!"

As was becoming usual Varden barely reacted to the sudden, loud intrusion.

"I presume by 'he' you mean to refer to Fen'Harel?" he replied without looking up.

"Yes! Where is he?!"

"May I ask why…?"

Ellana cut him off. "I need to speak with him now!" She waved the letter before him but he regarded it with indifference. In frustration she opened it and read. "Caves to the south of the Imperial Highway, south-east of Weisshaupt. Do we have people there?!" She looked up at him desperately. Only a brief flicker of recognition crossed Varden's expression but that was all she needed. "They know! Tevinter know! I have to tell him!"

The colour drained instantly from Varden's face.

"He is at the ruins. Go quickly and I will follow on behind. We will handle this," he said trying to convince himself more than anyone.

Ellana ran from his office as fast as her legs would carry her.

Ellana had run the whole way but when she reached the ruins she came to an abrupt halt. Dhaveira lay growling nervously beside the doorway so Solas was definitely inside but even in her determined state, fear still kept her from entering. The dragon trilled happily at the sight of her.

"Solas?!" she called down the tunnel.

There was no answer. She kept trying but it quickly became clear that he couldn't hear her. She had hoped she would never have to go back in to the ruins. She closed her eyes and steeled herself as she stepped through the doorway. Dhaveira growled worriedly behind her. Further in she started to hear a voice in the distance. Fear rose in her chest as she anticipated the fateful whispers but she recognised, to her relief, it was just Solas. She kept going down the tunnel listening intently.

"And how do you intend to provide such proof? You have quite clearly underestimated me; that does not give me much hope for your future usefulness," she heard him say.

He fell silent as though listening to a reply she could not hear. He laughed.

"That is an offer with no weight. Such a thing is worthless without trust and I would be a fool to trust what I do not know."

Ellana kept up a steady pace. Bathed in the blue glow of the barrier Solas stood before it. His back was to her so he could not see her approach. He laughed again.

"Not desperate enough it seems…"

A rock shifted beneath her feet making a crunching sound.

"Ellana!" Solas exclaimed in surprise. His expression darkened. "You should not be here!"

He grabbed her by the arm and led her roughly out in to the open air. The dragon raised her head and rumbled anxiously as they emerged.

"What if you had collapsed again? You should not be so reckless!" he continued, their separation forgotten for a few blissful moments. "Do you feel unwell at all?"

Ellana hadn't realised she had been holding her breath and now she found herself gasping to catch up. "I called out to you but you didn't answer. I couldn't wait…" she explained between breaths.

"Is something wrong? What has happened?" he interrupted as his worry built with each second he looked in to her panicked eyes.

"It's Tevinter. Dorian…he…" She stopped to recover her breathing before going on. "Dorian sent me another letter." She handed him the letter and he started frantically reading. "They know, Solas, they know."

Behind them the Eluvian powered up but neither noticed.

"This cannot be…" he mourned.

In her peripheral vision Ellana saw her friends and Varden making their way through the valley. Luckily Dhaveira had enough sense not to greet them.

"Solas, I'm sorry," Ellana said weakly.

The air crackled menacingly around him. Ellana could tell he was trying to control it but knew he would never succeed. Glow overcame his eyes and a nearby rock formation unceremoniously exploded. The dragon let out a panicked shriek. Rocks flew in all directions but with little more than a casual gesture from him they bashed uselessly off an almost invisible barrier. Ellana's friends had stopped in their tracks but Varden came to his leader's side with no fear whatsoever.

"How quickly can you prepare a company of soldiers?" Solas asked evenly, his outburst having done wonders for his fury.

"Give me an hour at the most," Varden replied.

"Have them meet me in the Crossroads as soon as you can."

"You mean to beat the Imperium to them?" Varden asked sceptically.

"I can hope," Solas replied already moving towards the exit.

"And what if we are too late?" Varden questioned falling in to walk at his side.

"Then our people will not be the last to die."

Ellana caught up to them, her panic having noticeably abated with his presence.

"I'm coming with you," she stated firmly.

They both abruptly halted and stared at her. Varden appeared exceedingly doubting. Solas looked as if he desperately wanted to argue with her. Finally he gazed down mournfully at the swell of her stomach.

"If you think that is wise then I will not stop you," he replied.

He strode away without another word and Varden followed behind. As they passed her friends Solas nodded to Lis and she returned it.

A/N - Smug Bastard... Next one should be up tomorrow. BYE!