With shaking legs Alyssae followed Thorin. Despite Thorin's cheerful mood, she was close to tears. How could she tell him? Or could she better keep silent about it, hoping they would defeat Thranduil?
Alyssae didn't dare to take that risk. She had to tell what oath she had sworn and then it was up to Thorin to decide what he would do with that information.
Her body seemed to be made of jelly and by every corner they rounded, Alyssae was afraid she would collapse. Thorin however didn't notice and walked in front of her, while he slapped Dwalin on the shoulder.
With leaden steps Alyssae stepped back in the treasure room, that looked more threatening than all the times she had been here before, even now Smaug was no longer a threat.
Everyone had assembled, but she did not dare to look at anyone. She had betrayed them without even knowing. Thorin would never look at her again.
Bofur knelt down when Thorin encountered him. In his opened hands was a stone, that shone so bright she had to squeeze her eyes.
"The Arkenstone, my king," he spoke humbly.
Thorin took the stone from him and at that moment all dwarves fell on their knees. Thranduin stood upright, but he did bow his head politely. Alyssae threw herself at the mountain of gold too, trying to resist her tears. Her honor had disappeared, just like his love for her would be gone soon too.
"Get up," it sounded surly out of Thorin's mouth and he pulled her shoulder. "You don't kneel for me."
Alyssae stared stubbornly at the ground, but Thorin's grasp was compelling and she knew she could not sit this way forever to avoid eye contact.
"What's going on?" Thorin asked shocked when he saw a tear in the corner of her eye.
"Nothing," she answered hastily. "This is your crown, right?"
She had concluded that from the way in which the other dwarves had suddenly treated him. That Arkenstone was a symbol of Thorin's reign. It gave him the right to rule Erebor.
He stretched his arm and wiped away a tear that ran down her cheek.
"It... I am just emotional because this is your dream coming true."
It was the truth - all though a very small part of it. Thorin however seemed to be satisfied with it.
Alyssae didn't dare to say more. She stared at her feet, while the dwarves showed their joy.
The moment of Alyssae's departure came and for the first time she conceived it as a relief, although she was afraid. Still she had trusted nobody with her secret.
"There are no words to describe our gratitude," Balin spoke when they said goodbye at the entrance of Erebor. "You have both done so much for us."
Alyssae had her breakdown. She went down on her knees and her shoulders were shaking. First some chuckling comments were made to ease the farewell, but when Alyssae didn't stop and shed more tears than was proper at an occasion like this - since it was only for a short time - some knelt down next to her.
"Hey," Kili whispered, pulling her in his arms. "It's for a short time, right?"
Alyssae did not look in his eyes. "You don't understand," she sobbed. "I have done something terrible."
The voices around them became silent. Some mumbled something inaudible, but Fili caught her glance.
"What can you possibly have done?"
"I promised Thranduil his gems in exchange for our freedom."She held her breath anxiously.
"Then you will get these," Fili found. He took her hand and looked up to his uncle. "Right? Thranduin and Alyssae also deserve a part of the treasure."
Alyssae didn't dare to look at Thorin, but still her eyes were drawn to him. All happiness had disappeared from his face, but he approved silently. She had the feeling to shrink under his piercing glance.
He knew. He knew that wasn't he only thing she had promised the elf king.
Thorin stepped toward her and stopped one meter away from her. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Alyssae bit so hard on her lip she tasted blood. "I was afraid you wouldn't give it to me."
His eyebrows formed an angry frown, his cheeks turned red. "You thought I wouldn't want to share my riches with you?"
"Not with Thranduil," Alyssae whispered. "I wanted to give it to him as soon as I was away from here, but I just discovered he lied to me." She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. "I promised him the Arkenstone, Thorin."
It was mouse-still around them. Fili's hand disappeared from her shoulder and Alyssae wanted to run away and never return, but she didn't dare to move.
"You did what?" Thorin spitted out. His eyes were a thrilling fire, which scared her more than any flame Smaug could have produced. "All this time you wanted to steal the Arkenstone from me! I thought you wanted to help us! I thought you loved me, and now I feel such an idiot!"
Alyssae got on her feet when Thorin drew his sword.
"You betrayed us! You betrayed me! Your heart is even darker than that of that cursed elf king!"
"I had no choice," Alyssae cried. "He would have killed all of you! I just discovered that the Arkenstone is not an elf jewel, you never told me anything about it! How should I have known it meant so much to you!"
"You know now!" Thorin grumbled. "Does it matter? You are a traitor. We were all played by your charms and the only one you could not mislead was Gloin!" His knuckles turned white. He raised his sword and Alyssae touched for her own weapon, but she could not pull it out of its sheath. She could not raise her sword to the man she loved.
Helplessly she saw how Thorin attacked her, the look in his eyes more steady than ever. He hated her. He wanted her to disappear forever.
Blood splatted around when the sword cut through skin and flesh. Alyssae fell down, but the pain did not come. Something heavy laid upon her and when she recovered from shock, she saw it was Fili. His chest was cut upon from his left ear to his right side and his intestines bulged out, overflown by blood.