Mirwen appreciated when the Fade graced her with the foretelling lake. She lacked the skill to induce the images on her own but from the moment she gave in to the burden, it happened with welcome regularity. She was always aware, powerless to act but nonetheless aware. Each time it started the same way- she would find herself walking, against her will, to the edge of the lake and sitting down to take in the images. This time it was different; someone was already there as he so often was nowadays. The Dread Wolf glanced back at her and rose to his feet, whispering under his breath, and her ability to act instantly returned.
"Keeper, I am glad you have finally arrived," he remarked, his tone conflictingly cold.
She had been waiting for this day, dreading it but resigned to its need.
Closing her eyes and committed to playing her part, she finally spoke, "Glad? You seem anything but…"
He moved ominously forward. "You lied to me. You told me there was no path to achieve what I seek…"
"Because there is none," she interrupted evenly. She intended to say more but in his anger, he would not allow it.
"I have seen it! You may have been intent on keeping me in the dark but the Fade is not! I have seen the end I seek and how it may be achieved!"
"Then you have seen a lie," the Keeper interrupted again, still entirely measured. "One dream must die so the other can live. I told you that; I kept nothing from you. Never in all of my seeing have I gazed upon the eventuality you seek."
Rage was blinding him as it so often did. "Then you must have failed to see it, you…!"
"I do not claim to have seen everything, that is true, but I have seen enough. You wish to have everything you desire but that will never happen; it does never happen. That I have seen, over and over, repeating endlessly like an undeniable lesson. One must be ended so you can have the other."
Within seconds he was inches from her but just as quickly his emotion was crushed down, leaving only a cold vacancy.
"I have seen it happen, no matter what you may say," he stated. Mirwen braced herself for what she knew was to come. "I have seen it and now I will make it real. I care not what you think or do but know that nothing will keep me from this path. If not for Ellana's love for you, I would be stopping your heart for your deception. You live only by her grace…"
"And I will die to keep it," she interjected, twinkling blue eyes fixed to his cold ones. "You begged and it answered; it should never answer. The Trickster tricked by promise and pride."
"You know nothing," he hissed back. "Be gone from this place and know that you will never be allowed to return."
"I no longer need to."
She awoke instantly with a long, pained sigh.
"The end comes," she whispered.
The aftermath of the battle with the Inquisition had been difficult both physically and emotionally but somehow Ellana had made it through relatively unscathed. The dead, both elven and human, still played heavily on her mind but with time, the sense of mourning had softened. Even still, the irrepressible thought of Cullen and his fate entered her mind with painful regularity. Thinking on him only led to her ruminating on the others; a vicious cycle that she hoped would lessen with time. Often she would find herself wandering out in the forest and quietly talking to Areina. She did not fully know why she did it but she liked to imagine her friend could somehow hear her. After so long she still missed Ari and she had become something more to her than even the friend she remembered – a symbol of all she had lost. She wished Emmaera had had the opportunity to meet her and see the value of her innocence and compassion; ideals Ellana feared were lacking from the rest of her daughter's world. Facing the days that followed had been hard and would continue to be but that was the price she had been willing to pay. They were finally safe, at least for now.
Seeing her daughter again had brought Ellana untold joy that far surpassed any of the negative feelings she had left. Furthermore, the blissful presence of her new-formed family kept her strong no matter what. Dhaveira too had brought her much needed joy. She had returned to the island needing only a call, their bond having solidified so strongly that the dragon seemed to trust her will implicitly. The beast had few injuries so her recovery was as quick as Ellana's. Better even than that, the heat of battle had not changed the dragon as she had feared; she remained the same loyal, albeit very large companion she had always been. With the Inquisition crippled for now, Ellana no longer had a primary focus and thus was able to devote more time to her daughter. The game itself had changed too - their entire focus shifting to Tevinter and what lay within. With such a feat needing so much preparation, she knew they still had time but she could not deny that the end was nearing. Uncertainty built inside of her at what the future would hold for them.
Recently Ellana had started to allow her involvement in their next great task. She would have loved more time exclusively with her daughter but she knew it could never last. Solas needed her and in the end, she was happy to take up her more formal role once again; lest she lose every skill she had beyond being a mother.
"So you're essentially saying that we have made no progress determining who has the orb?" she groaned as she leaned back slightly on the desk.
Solas raised an eyebrow. "Well that depends entirely on how you look at it," he remarked, reaching out to touch the little one dutifully being rocked in her mother's arms. "We may not have determined who holds it but we have eliminated people."
"That's the best we can do?" she scoffed. "If we're going to go with process of elimination then that could take years."
"I am well aware of the time constraints but until we can establish some sort of paper trail for the thing then we are left with little option." he answered angrily.
"And how do you propose we achieve that? Even if we somehow gained access to the Tevinter archives we cannot guarantee they would have such information…"
"I do not necessarily mean a literal paper trail, vhenan, but in my experience these details are often known by word of mouth," he went on with a frustrated sigh. "Any Imperial who possessed such an artifact, even though they lack the power to actually use it, would no doubt see it as something worthy of pride and thus make it known. If we find the right people then it will only be a matter of time before we find out who has been talking about it."
Ellana smiled, surprised again by his insight. "Hmmm, given Tevinter's personal history with the orbs I can see how owning one would be seen as something of a bragging right." She touched a hand to his cheek at the sight of his self-satisfied grin. "You're so smart," she whispered before kissing him lightly. "But equally as arrogant."
He glared at her. "If you were not holding my daughter then I would teach you a serious lesson…"
The threat hung delightfully in the air. Ignoring the plethora of items littered on its surface, she reclined back on the desk and crossed her legs. Slowly but very deliberately, her skirts fell further and further up her thighs.
"I do so love to learn," she purred, knowing the effect it would have on him as he watched.
Just as she had hoped, he let out a long, dissatisfied whine. "Oh, Ellana…" He reached out, desperate to touch her. "You are so painfully…"
"Brilliant? Worldly? Infinitely skilled?" she interrupted, batting his hand away with a smirk. "I cannot imagine why that would be painful!"
Still smirking, she sat up as he groaned and kneaded some unseen pain in his neck.
"So back to the matter at hand," she continued as she got down from the desk. "How exactly do you intend to obtain knowledge of what the Tevinter nobility are saying? Amongst them is surely no place for elves."
She made her way through to the nursery and laid Emmaera down in the hope that she might actually spend the night sleeping in her crib.
"That is the inherent problem. Placing agents in such a hostile environment has proved challenging," he replied, loudly at first but less so once he followed her through. "Before he met his end, our dear Magister offered me the name of the last owner he knew. While we were able to determine that it has since changed hands, we have still been unable to determine whom it was passed on to. Placing our people in a position to find out such information is proving far more problematic than I had ever anticipated. Even Liahra only achieved so much and she had worked on it for significantly longer."
Ellana gazed down at her sleeping daughter with a slowly forming smile. "And Cyrrian has no bright ideas?" she asked.
He chuckled lightly. "He is not a man of ideas, more action I am afraid."
"Hmmm, a man of action you say? Sounds appealing…" she remarked as she sauntered past him.
He followed her, took her arm and pulled her to him; back pressed in to his chest. "Does it now?" His lips brushed deliciously against her ear and his hands wandered. "Does it really?"
A quiet moan escaped her and she pressed herself further in to him. "No…" she uttered. One of his hands travelled up her neck as lips and teeth grazed her jawline. "No, definitely not…"
"Good…" he purred in her ear as she grasped at his slowly moving hands.
Somehow amongst the intoxicating blur of his touch a thought still entered her mind.
"What about the slaves?" she asked.
Abruptly she felt his lips leave her skin. "Slaves? That is really not my idea of eroticism, vhenan…"
"No!" she exclaimed, turning herself to him. "I mean for Tevinter!"
"Oh! That is a relief…" he replied, with a look of sudden recognition. Realising his advances had been interrupted it turned to one of disappointment. He let out a sigh but humoured her nonetheless, "Slaves are well documented in Tevinter - they do not suddenly appear within a household. An agent would have to allow themselves to be taken by slavers but then we would be unable to determine where they would end up, let alone the potential horrors they may have to endure."
He reached out to touch her again but her mind was racing too much to give up on the topic yet. "Well documented?"
"Yes, in a sense," he replied with yet another sigh as he left her side. "The humans always keep track of who owns which slave, much like any other property."
Ellana gazed down at the ground sadly at the thought as he started to undress for bed, armour first.
"That way they cannot be stolen and resold or can be caught and returned if lost," he went on. "It also allows them to keep track of their numbers as a means to ensure they could never rebel effectively."
He was shirtless now and Ellana would have been enjoying the view if not for the sombre subject. "But surely they do try and rebel? Surely anyone would?" she asked.
"Some do but many are so beaten down by decades of oppression that the idea of anything better is completely foreign." Noticing her melancholy at his words, he came to her side again and enveloped her in his arms. "To be so entirely without hope is a terrible thing, unworthy of anyone."
Ellana's eyes widened. She pushed him away slightly so she could see his face. "It is unworthy but they are not…" He met her with a puzzled look. "We cannot embed agents, Solas, but we could recruit more…"
"The slaves?" he asked, eyes narrowing. "Vhenan, we have tried but what aid could they…"
"But you said yourself, some must at least try to rebel and those surely have some form of organisation?" she pondered aloud. "Surely a ringleader would be a perfect person to bring on board?"
"But how would we even accomplish that? We would have to somehow find out who that would be and then…"
"I don't know, Solas! I don't have all the answers!" she interrupted with annoyance. "But just think - if we could get such a person working for us then we could potentially have access to every slave in Tevinter! Imagine the information that could bring! Even if somehow we did successfully embed an agent in the right household, it would still take time for them to gain the access we would need but if we're working with already established slaves…imagine how easy it would be for them…"
He still looked decidedly sceptical. "I suppose…"
Ellana interrupted again, too absorbed to hear him, "Tevinter is swarming with them! We would have the information we needed faster and have an army, ready and waiting when the day came!"
She stopped and gazed up expectantly at him. Something had changed dramatically in his eyes as he pondered.
"That…that is actually quite brilliant," he replied at last. "How it would be achieved is another matter entirely but…if it could be done..."
She planted a kiss on his nose. "Don't sound so surprised."
She turned away, finally ready to prepare for sleep, but he grabbed her hand.
"I will look in to it," he said. A smirk formed and he brought her in close. "Is your scheming mind sated at long last?"
She pushed him away with a sly smile to rival his own. Slowly, she slipped the strap of her dress off one shoulder and then the other. He stared as the dress fell to the floor in a heap.
"No, my mind is not sated," she purred as she slid a hand up his bare chest and in to the crook of his neck. "But I have a feeling it is about to be…"
The idea was a good one but the execution still eluded Solas. He had questioned Varden, his most trusted adviser on anything related to Tevinter, but he had offered little. While he appeared certain that such rebel organisations existed amongst the slaves, he had never had any dealings with them. Even whispers of any association were enough to earn death at the hands of one's master and Varden had feared too much for his daughter to provoke such wrath. Cyrrian too had yielded little more. He had started life enslaved under the Tevinter Imperium as well and actually had some involvement with the more rebellious side but he seemed fairly certain any contacts he might have had were long dead. He agreed to explore the idea but Solas held out little hope. If they were going to achieve anything, he would likely have to find a way himself.
He had sat at his desk pondering the task for nearly an hour. Ellana had left with Emmaera a short while ago and his aching mind had only worsened in their absence. Opting to abandon the worry for now, he picked up the blue journal and flicked through the pages until he found the last paragraph. With a slight smile, he read it to remind him before continuing his writing. After only a few minutes, the sound of someone outside the door caught his attention just as Shivra came straight through. He shut the book without thinking.
"Knock!" he chastised automatically, the memory of too many private moments interrupted burning deeply.
The dark-skinned elf offered no recognition of the remark. "Is Ellana here?" she asked, the seriousness of her expression completely out of character.
Solas's brow furrowed. "No… She is supposed to be meeting one of you?"
"Good," she replied with a relieved exhale. She came all the way in to the office, slamming the door shut behind her with her foot. "Yeah, that would be me she's supposed to be meeting. I had to be sure she was gone."
"So you lied to her? She will not be pleased by…"
"Yeah, spun some shit about needing to talk about relationship issues," she interrupted. "Yeah I know she'll be pissed and I'll deal with it but this was important."
"Ah yes… She mentioned her discovery of your little secret…" he remarked over her. His look darkened as he processed what she had said. "Wait…what was important?"
Reaching the desk, she shuffled about in her clothing and threw out two letters in front of him. He stared down on them and seeing that they all bore Dorian's looping handwriting, he was all the more confused. He looked back up at her questioningly.
"Found those in the Dalish one's stuff," she said.
Solas's expression turned instantly blank.
"She didn't see me or anything and judging by where they were, she won't miss them but why the fuck does she even have them?!" Shivra continued but he still offered nothing. "They're from that Tevinter guy, aren't they? The guy she was mates with from before? I recognise the handwriting."
He picked one up and opened it, scanning it just enough to determine when it had been sent. He then did the same with the other. Returning them to their envelopes, he finally looked up at Shivra.
"Under no circumstances are you to tell Ellana about this," he said evenly.
She met him with complete surprise. "But we have to tell her! She has to know that the bitch is against her! If we don't then…!"
"No. If we tell Ellana then it is done. Either the girl will be excised or we will just give her an opportunity to explain her actions away. I would find out what she intends. We cannot run the risk of missing anything, not with this."
"So then what? We do nothing?"
"No, not nothing," he replied, standing up and already moving towards the door.
Shivra followed him out.
"Is Ellana with her now?" he asked.
"Shouldn't be…I asked for her alone," Shivra replied, looking bewildered until it finally dawned. "You're going to just go and ask her?! How is that better?!"
He stepped on to the platform and she followed dutifully alongside. "Firstly I am far more unsympathetic to any explanation she may offer…"
"So?! She'll still know we're on to her!" Shivra interrupted angrily.
"As I would wish her to. I do not intend to reveal that you were the source of this information so you are still free to do your part if you have done it properly thus far," he replied dismissively. "Does she trust you enough not to presume this was you?"
"I spun her the whole 'I was just jealous' story so she thinks I'm pretty tame but she would still think it… Depends how convincing your cover story is."
He shot her a withering look as they finally stepped off the platform. "If she believes her plan is in jeopardy then she is more likely to make a mistake. Whatever explanation she offers me may also shed some light on what she intends."
"So your entire plan here is to just scare the shit out of her?" she asked with clear scepticism.
"In the simplest terms, I suppose that is accurate," he replied, turning back to her from the door. "You should meet with Ellana as planned. Ensure you have a good reason why you are late; that way our meeting here will never get back to the girl."
"You're fucking mental, you know that?" Shivra mused, stopping him in his tracks at the door.
"Yes, I am aware," he replied before he left her to the tower.
Maybe it had been the air already growing heavy around him but no one even acknowledged his presence as he passed through the camps. He did not notice. Not even when, quite fortuitously, none of Ellana's other friends were present in the area did he care. He was well beyond that. He entered the Dalish girl's tent to find her seated on the ground. She rose at the sight of him but said nothing.
"What little trust I may have had in you lies broken," he said, letters held out accusingly.
She took them from him with no hesitation, gazing down at each with an entirely unreadable stare. As though she had decided how best to approach the situation, she finally looked up at him with some vague emotion.
"How did you find these?" she asked simply.
Surprised by her lack of a denial but well versed enough in the art of deception, he kept his angry tone unchanged as he explained, "You were seen taking them at the forward camp and I had them found. How matters little; what matters is why you…!"
"The one person I cared for most in this world was murdered by those Tevinter scum," she started evenly but slowly her expression crumpled. "How do you think it makes me feel knowing she is speaking with one of those monsters?!"
Solas was somewhat taken aback - it was a plausible explanation. "But she is supposed to be your friend, surely you trust that…?"
"It's not her I don't trust! What if he influences her in some way?! What if their desires somehow make it in to our actions?!" she interjected with undeniable desperation in her voice. "If I can keep that from happening then I will!"
"By taking the opportunity away completely? She is her own person, she has the right to make that choice…"
"No, I won't take that chance, not when a Magister is involved," she added, turning away from him.
He regarded her as she waited to counter the next statement, tears welling rather convincingly in her eyes. He did not know what to believe. Her explanation was reasonable but he could still feel doubt tugging at him; the nagging belief that here he had a girl who was duplicitous beyond anything he had come to expect. The fact that she had shown not an ounce of fear at being caught was even more troubling.
Left with only one choice, he sighed. "I cannot imagine the pain your loss must have brought you. With that in mind, I will take all that you have said in to account and not tell Ellana about your deception," he started softly. His tone turned cold, threatening as he neared her. "But know this, if anything were to happen to her as a result of any action you may take…"
Her defiant stare stopped him in his tracks. He saw something in her eyes that he recognised. She did not fear the death he could bring and that realisation woke something inside of him. This could be an entirely innocent girl, a hater of all things Tevinter but innocent nonetheless. Still, he could not stop himself.
"Harm her in any way and I will burn the flesh from your bones, slowly, so slowly that it will take days for you to come close to death…but even that I will take from you. I will leave you, in all your agony, surviving by a thread until you beg me for death - all the while wishing you had been granted it from the start."
Seeing the glimmer he too had felt rise within his very being, what little fear she could muster slowly blossomed before him. That part of him revelled in it before he turned away.
"Hunt well and with each action you make, remember my words," he remarked, leaving her to her fear.
Meeting with Shivra had been a strange but rewarding experience. She had been late - a fact she seemed reluctant to explain but after much prodding, the blame seemed to rest largely on Varden's shoulders. Even with her lateness, the discussion they ended up having was so rare coming from someone like her that Ellana could not help but leave feeling satisfied. Discovering her friend's secret had brought them closer together and it was a rewarding feeling to finally have something in common that bound them so tightly.
When she had returned to the tower, Emmaera in tow, she expected to find Solas still there. He had not mentioned any business he had to attend to so finding their quarters empty was a bit of a surprise. Once she was certain he was not hiding away somewhere, she laid her daughter down and made her way back in to the office. That was when she saw it – the blue book sitting out in the middle of his desk, unguarded. It called out to her, begging her to read. She reached out and touched its surface, considering all it might contain. She turned away but just as quickly, she was back.
"Read it and know. That is all you have to do. Some of it you can surely understand," she thought. "He never has to know but you will…you want to…"
She gave in almost immediately. She did want to know but that did not mean she had to act on it. She threw it open in a rush but turned back to the first page, surprised to see it taken up exclusively by a drawing. Her brow furrowed but she turned on to the next and started to read. Her expression slowly crumpled and a tear snaked down her cheek.
Solas walked back to the tower still troubled. He was not able to shake the feeling that there was more to Lori but that could have been an attempt to justify his actions to himself. He had not managed to speak to Shivra but he planned to advise her to follow with caution. Given what the girl had done, he had obviously taken measures to ensure no further letters could be stolen. With that and his somewhat excessive threat he hoped that the danger was over or at very least, Shivra would catch it long before it had its effect.
He heard the muffled sounds of someone inside before he opened the office door. Ellana must have already returned so he took a moment to devise an explanation before entering. He wavered mid-greeting at the sight of her face. She sat at his desk intently reading a book with tears glistening on her skin. At the last second he saw the blue fabric and knew what had her so emotional.
"What is this?" she asked, finally looking up.
Thrown completely off-guard, he stuttered uselessly in response.
He slowly found his voice, "A story…"
"That you wrote," she stated, rising to her feet. "Why?"
He could feel himself reddening beneath her scrutiny. "I did not want you to see until it was complete, vhenan! I…" He sighed at the sight of her tear-strewn skin. "I wrote it for our daughter, so that she would know our story..."
She looked down at the book with her own emotion-filled noise. "That is… I thought it was going to be something terrible; some monstrous thing you were planning but that…that is the most beautiful sentiment..."
She ran to him and crushed him beneath her embrace. More tears fell as she stood buried in his chest, happy for once.
"I am sorry you ever held such worries," he said, raising her chin up so he could see her eyes. "And equally overjoyed you like it."
She reached up to wrap her arms around his neck and kissed him slowly, emotion thick in her every movement. He tried to match her but intrusive thoughts kept him partially absent. He was glad that she was happy - just like he had said; but he was also relieved she had not happened upon the other journal or even seemed to think that there might be two.
They had made love in a way that was absent of their usual all-consuming desire for one another. Gentle and focused purely on their emotional connection, it was an act they reserved for those special moments that could not be foreseen. Once the sated daze had left her, Ellana abandoned the bed where he slept to finish reading. She doubted Solas would mind her leaving him to his slumber given how uncomfortable her scrutiny seemed to make him. She took Emmaera from her crib and brought her outside to the balcony with her, fearing the baby might wake him before she had finished the book.
It was difficult at times, reading back all the events of their sometimes hurtful relationship. She was surprised he had gone so far as to include it all. Every moment, even those where he was in the wrong, were kept true to how it had happened. The only changes were those that made it appropriate for its intended audience but that was her favourite part. The entire thing was written as though it were a children's tale with everyone taking appropriate animal forms. Some of the more detailed points of their fight with the Inquisition had also been glossed over but in sum, it still covered the struggle to contain an evil and the love that had blossomed from it. Annoyingly he had only managed to pen up to the point where they had found one another again. She wanted more than anything to read further but she placated herself by re-reading the parts she loved again. She found the various forms of her former friends especially amusing, all very well thought out and fitting. She particularly enjoyed Cassandra's – a gruff, very large bear. Thinking on her old friends did bring her some sadness but she tried to focus chiefly on the past.
Once she had finished, she sat thinking for a while. She ruminated on the second book, the one she had seen only a word of. She had been both relieved and disappointed to find this one had not contained similar secrets. She would not ask him about it, that much she knew but she still desperately wanted to understand. Now that she thought about it, it had been a while since she had seen it and she could not help but wonder why. With it still being daytime, sounds from below reached the tower whilst she pondered and as the sun started to set, music drifted up from below. She took Emmaera back inside and laid her down for the night with a kiss. The music had become something of a regular occurrence since the birth of their daughter. She did not know whose idea it was but it seemed the elves beneath were playing the songs for Emmaera as some sort of lullaby. In her mind it seemed illogical, the noise more likely to keep the baby awake than drift her off to sleep but she appreciated the thought. At the edge of the balcony she watched them play and slowly, as if outside of her control, her hips started to sway to the rhythm of the sound. She closed her eyes and allowed the music to take her just as a warm hand grazed up her behind.
"Vhenan, you are so achingly beautiful when you're happy," Solas purred in her ear.
With a slight movement, she flicked her hair over her shoulder so she could see him over the other. She was glad to see he was wearing at least some clothing for once.
"I did not hear you wake," she replied, breath hitching as she felt her still swaying hips brush against his.
His lips had found their way to her bare neck and she could feel his smile against her skin. "Not with all this commotion…but know that I am well rested…"
Sliding a hand across her midriff, he forced her body back further in to his and the movements she made created yet more friction between them. Regrettably, his actions forced him closer to the edge of the balcony to be seen by the people below. A cheer of the name he had not chosen for himself sounded out and he released Ellana almost instantly. He sat down on one of the large chairs with a resounding sigh.
"I despise adoration," he muttered, head in his hands.
Ellana crouched down beside him, eager to catch his downturned gaze. "Not mine I hope?"
He met her stare with a half-smile. "No, not yours, vhenan," he replied, reaching out a hand to touch her cheek gratefully. "But you know me; theirs is blind."
"And is that their fault?" she added carefully.
He regarded her doubtingly but after a while, his expression turned back to resignation. He lay down across the chair with a long pained exhale.
"No," he replied sadly. "I imagine it is not…"
She pulled herself up from the floor. "You could show them? Let them see who you truly are."
"I know," he simply replied.
He held out a hand to her, bidding her to join him. She took it and he lightly pulled her down to lay on top of him, nestled in to his bare chest.
"I finished the book," Ellana uttered quietly. "Please write more."
"I am to presume you liked it then?" he asked, a hint of amusement finally returned to his voice.
Ellana turned her head so her chin rested on his chest and she could see his face. "I loved it. Iron Bull as a literal bull? Very original…"
He laughed. "What is more fitting than the truth?"
This time it was Ellana's turn to giggle. "So you see Sera as a literal rat then?"
"She was a mouse in the first instance but they are nowhere near hazardous enough," he replied, still chuckling. "Rats are intelligent in a practical sense, unyielding, have a nasty bite and are pests; what could be more suitable?"
She slapped him lightly on the chest. "That was for disparaging a friend. I would be loath to agree with you but…your assessment may contain some accuracy..."
He smiled but nothing more. His eyes fell away in to thought as silence befell them. Ellana grazed her lips against his chest.
"Do you think she will like it?" he asked quietly.
Ellana looked back up at him. "Emi? She will love it." He smiled and she planted a light kiss against him. "Maybe not believe it all but I am sure she will love it."
"Why would she not believe it?" he asked with genuine curiosity.
Ellana gazed back up at him. "Because she will love you unconditionally and I do not think she will ever believe that you would leave like you did." His expression noticeably darkened and she regretted her honesty. "You are her father, Solas, she won't want to believe that you could ever do wrong…"
"But I do, repeatedly. She should know that," he added forlornly.
"Is that why you wrote it so truthfully?" she questioned, still studying his expression.
At long last he met her gaze. "No, I wrote the truth because she should know the truth. So often we alter our stories to fit the person we wish to portray, not the one we truly are. I want her to know who I am, not who I wish I was."
"Who do you wish you were?" she asked, brow furrowed.
"Above all else I…" he started, so confidently at first but he very quickly trailed off in to nothing. "I do not know anymore…" He broke her gaze.
Her frown deepened. "Solas? What were you going to say?"
He looked back up at her again. "That I wanted to be the saviour of the elves, my original plan completed without destroying everything that mattered but…" He downturned his gaze yet again.
"But?" she prompted, forcing his chin up with a hand so their eyes met.
"But if that were true then we would have never met, Emmaera would never have been born…"
Once he had seemed so sure about his goal but the cracks in his resolve were becoming more and more evident. It was starting to seem like he had no idea what he wanted and that thought both heartened and worried her.
She released him from her grasp. "No, I suppose even I would not have been born…" she mused.
"But you were," he added, running a finger slowly along the curve of her hips up to her waist. "And if the gods existed, I would thank them."
Ellana turned so she lay flat against him and with a hand, raised herself in to a kneeling position. "Luckily for me," she purred, palm sliding slowly down his stomach. "I have one right here and I know just how he would like to be thanked…"
He rolled his eyes at that but changed his tune all too quickly. Her adoration did, after all, come with benefits.
The real Solas was the last person she expected to see. Ellana had been occupied by a pleasant dream only to be awoken much too early for her liking. The Fade warped almost instantly and she knew he could not be far.
"Vhenan," sounded the soft greeting behind her.
She did not like his tone. She turned towards the sound and found him closer than she had expected, apprehension clouding his features. The world around her was barren – nothing more than the Fade itself. It was rare that he brought her here and that alone made her wonder.
"Ma lath," she replied, nearing him but reluctant to fully reach out. "You never mentioned any plans to visit me?"
He would not meet her questioning gaze. "No…it was a…rather impulsive decision…"
"Because…?" she prompted, unwilling to wait for him to spit it out.
He finally met her eyes with his narrowing slightly. He was wrestling with something and she knew it. The look he wore was unwelcomely familiar and it took everything she had in her not to try and force an answer.
"There was a topic I wished to discuss," he finally explained, turning his eyes away once again. "I… It is a difficult one."
During her lessons they had covered many topics that could be considered 'difficult' but never had he approached them like this. He would warn her if it was likely to be emotive or controversial but the idea seldom pulled any sort of reaction from him. Ellana desperately wanted to clarify if this was a tutoring topic or something more personal but she resisted the urge. She was already pretty sure she knew which it was. She turned away from him, hoping it would help her resist questioning and perhaps afford him the courage to say something.
"Vhenan, I… You know of the abominations of this world; you have made that more than clear but tell me - what do you truly know of them?" Solas started at long last.
Ellana's head snapped to him but his expression was unreadable, staring out in to the distance. "Well…it is when a demon possesses a mage, willingly or otherwise…"
"And what occurs from it?" he prompted, gaze still fixed away.
"The mage loses control to the demon and - from what I understand - goes on a rampage?" she continued sceptically.
"Yes, to a degree. More often than not the demon also loses control, becomes overwhelmed by the corruption of this world and falls in to madness. What happens to the mage? They do not simply cease to exist."
Ellana joined him in his thoughtful staring. "They are bound to the Fade in the demon's place? That would make the most sense…"
"Yes, in the case you have described that would likely be the result. Although they will retain some awareness of their actions in the real world, as horrible as that would be," he replied. Finally he turned to her, eyes twinkling slightly. "But imagine for a moment a case of an individual who is capable, giving willing possession to a weak demon; do you think the scenario would be the same? What do you propose would happen if a demon were to possess someone whom they could not steal control from?"
Her brow furrowed deeply. "I…I don't know… Is that even something that can happen? The way I have always understood was that as soon as one allowed a demon in, that was it – you lost control."
"Have you ever heard of cases where individuals become possessed by a spirit rather than a demon?" he asked, clearly enjoying the discussion now but still guarded. Ellana slowly shook her head. "One would imagine it would be similar but not so. A spirit possession is only alike in the sense that one gains abilities and power; control is not lost in the traditional sense. However, a spirit brought in to mortal consciousness rarely avoids corrupting influences for long and thus the struggle for control starts anew."
"The struggle? So in that case, the person can fight against the forming demon?" Ellana questioned, eagerly trying to understand.
"Yes, as much as one can fight against their own corruption."
"You always said that spirits and demons were two sides of the same coin. If that is true then surely one could theoretically fight against a fully formed demon in the same way?" she carefully asked.
"Theoretically…if one does not instantly lose all ability to fight," he replied, a smile forming at her astute questioning. "Spirits and demons exist on an ever changing continuum – they are one in the same. Just as a spirit can be pushed in to becoming a demon, so can it work the opposite way. At least, in theory."
"Taking on a demon still seems exceedingly risky but I understand what you are saying. Although I still doubt that anyone could ever maintain such control, especially over a lifetime. Everyone has those moments – undeniable hatred, pain, desperation, all of it; you would only need it to happen once and that would be it…everything you are, gone in an instant…" Ellana finally thought to regard him and saw his expression had darkened to the point of despair. He recovered himself quickly but too late. "Solas, why are we talking about this?"
He turned himself fully to her and placed a hand upon her cheek. "My love…"
All she saw in his eyes was pain as she reached up and touched her fingers to his. Their recent days had been so perfect but now she was afraid again, so much so that she was certain he could read it from her. With each moment he gazed upon her, his expression slowly turned blank.
"I… I thought it best to begin with questioning your own beliefs so you can fully consider others," he finally stated, taking his warmth away from her skin. "Another truth, vhenan, one I should have told you a long time ago but I doubted you would understand. I am sorry; I should have… Closely guarded secrets are difficult to share, especially with someone who would find the very idea foreign."
"Is this about the ancient elves or you personally?" she carefully asked, questioning everything about this conversation in her mind.
"Both…I suppose. In my time there was no Fade…it was just the world. When people bound with a spirit or a demon there was no separation; nowhere for the person to be trapped…"
Ellana's eyes widened as it finally became apparent where he was going with this.
"The Evanuris were the first – binding themselves to denizens of the Fade. Time alone could not grant them their power over the rest of their kind and this…this was how they gained it in the first instance. It was different then. Most spirits held less of a desire to occupy a physical form; why would you? Yes, one would get to experience life but it was not like it is now; a desperate attempt to pass from one world to the other. If one could bond with a spirit, prove themselves worthy and of just purpose then a partnership could be struck but otherwise…"
Her mouth hung open for a second. "But that is insane! This was something you did?"
"Neither of our kinds were foreign to one another as you are now. The potential corruption that existed within the ancient elves was naturally less, given our subtler, slower approach to life. With that the spirits were exposed to it regularly and thus, more resistant to its influences. It was like any other relationship – the joining of two minds as one. In the consensual version that is; binding a spirit against their will only created problems, much like today…"
"And this was something all the elves did?!" Ellana asked, still disbelieving.
"Not all, no. It took power and will to maintain control; not all the elves were capable. Did you not wonder how Mythal survived in aspect form? When she was killed some of the spirits she had bound with fractured away, taking pieces of her being with them. One of these spirits then bound with the Witch of the Wilds and thus recreated Mythal in will."
Ellana brought a palm to meet her head, mind swimming with all this information.
"I apologise for not telling you this fact sooner but I…I doubted you would understand. Used properly, even something as allegedly atrocious as abominations can be beneficial; at least it was in my time."
"But not in this time, right? From what you have said, the world is too different and the risk far too high," she interrupted as his gaze fell once again to the floor. She touched a hand to his shoulder. "Why tell me this now?"
His blank stare found her. "You had a right to know."
The look in his eyes provoked a memory in to her mind – the day he had removed her Vallaslin by the waterfall, the moment she now knew he had intended to tell her the truth but faltered. She embraced him slowly, head rested against his chest.
"Thank you for telling me the truth," she said, feeling him tense with her words.
She knew then that history was indeed repeating itself. She gazed up at him carefully. He was waiting for her question, no doubt ready to repel it as quickly as it came. This was going to require careful navigation; to ask now would only make her failure certain. She reached up and kissed him instead and he only tensed more.
The day had been long. Walking back through the camps, Ellana could not shake the feeling that something was not right. She had felt it for a while now and it had only worsened since Solas had shared the revelation of the elvhen abominations. She had tried to speak with Mirwen - the only one who ever seemed to offer willing answers - but even she was nowhere to be found. With her last attempt of many thwarted, Ellana was certain that the Keeper was avoiding her and even with the time to wonder she could not fathom her reasoning.
Without the baby's weight slowing her down, it was not long before Ellana reached the top floor of the tower. Solas was not in the office but she only remained alone for a brief moment before he appeared from the bedroom, daughter in hand.
"Ellana! Finally!" he exclaimed, grinning widely.
She barely detected his joy, too absorbed in greeting her daughter. She took her from him and whispered her love with every breath. The little one had clearly been sleeping, eyes weighted and hair ruffled but Ellana still set about preparing to feed her as she needed. Solas smiled down on them patiently until she was done.
"There we are," Ellana whispered quietly as she rocked the child slowly in her arms. "My little love." At long last she looked up at Solas with a gentle smile. "My great love."
He came forward and pressed his lips gently to her forehead, hand finding the small of her back. She replied with a kiss to his lips. Staring down thoughtfully, he took the baby from her arms and laid her against his shoulder.
"Vhenan, I…" he started hesitantly. She looked up at him with worry but all she saw was warmth in his eyes. "Your Mother…she…"
She pulled away from him a distance. "My Mother?"
"I may have finally found her…I…." he went on, still struggling to find the right words beneath her fervently questioning gaze. He took a long steadying breath. "I know you have not mentioned her in a while but I never stopped looking…"
"You looked for her? Since when?" Ellana interrupted.
He met her gaze, eyes shimmering with deeply felt warmth. "Since the first time you mentioned her, the first time you said you missed her. Up until now the search seemed hopeless but elves gather together, ostracized by our actions and with that…it was only a matter of time before we found one who knew of her."
Ellana looked away, fear creeping in to her mind. "Is she alive?"
An uncontainable smile formed slowly across his lips. "Yes, I believe she is but I cannot be certain, not until you see her for yourself…"
"See her?" she interrupted, voice thick with disbelief. "I could…I could do that?"
"Yes, vhenan, if that is your wish."
She came over to him suddenly, hand touching the child's back. "She could meet our daughter…her granddaughter?"
When their daughter had been born, Ellana had tried her hardest to strike her own mother from her mind. She had given up any hope that she would ever get to see her again. The thought that her mother had been denied the chance to look upon her first grandchild stung so deeply that it was easier to deny herself that thought. She could never have imagined that Solas had kept up her hope for her.
"Yes, vhenan, she could." He replied, placing the child in Ellana's arms. "If that is your wish."
She gazed down at her little one and then back up at Solas - the man who had given her everything without her even having to ask.
Ellana had recovered slowly. Her mind had been ravaged by uncertainties but she had banished them; the choice no longer resting on her alone. Seeing her mother again would be painful, even more so given the life she now led but Emmaera deserved a chance to meet her. Ellana would gladly take the pain if it allowed her that chance. More than that, she felt she owed it to her mother to ensure she was in safety; although she could not deny that by merely meeting with her, she was doing the exact opposite. With the choice all but made, the all-consuming emotion of it dissipated and she could once again focus. There were details that needed ironed out.
"You are not certain it is her?" Ellana asked, still seated in the chair where she had contemplated this entire time.
Solas sat opposite in silence as he had done throughout. "No, not certain," he replied looking vaguely surprised by her sudden, pragmatic question. "I have not seen her myself but the description fits what I have seen in your memories, she identified to our agents as a Lavellan and she reacted to your name…"
"They told her about me?" she interjected irritably. "What if I did not want to see her?"
Solas raised a hand in an attempt to bring quiet. "No, they never mentioned you but I had one of the agents adopt your name as a means to see if it garnered a reaction."
"Oh…sneaky."
He flicked his head to the side, closing his eyes in a gesture of certitude. "I am what I am."
"So where is she? How did they find her?" Ellana asked slowly.
"Followed the trail. After that atrocious business in Wycombe…" His expression flitted briefly to anger but returned to one of quiet seriousness with just as much speed. "…what remained of your clan travelled west along the coast; you knew from her letters that your mother was amongst them but not where. I took a presumption on where they might go and sent agents. With time, they found an elven refugee camp and amongst their ranks, low and behold, was what remained of your clan."
Ellana's brow furrowed. "Elven refugee camp?"
"Of a sorts. Our actions have bred fear amongst the humans, fear in elves. Humans are so quick to blame them, purge them from their vicinity and so, many are choosing to leave before that can happen. They know they have nothing to do with us but to the humans, all elves are the same. As our actions worsen so too will the blame the innocent receive. Run before they can act - it is rational, I suppose…"
Ellana expelled an angry noise to which he nodded his assent.
"They gather nearby the cities and as time passes more and more join," he went on.
"But won't that just provoke the humans?" she asked worriedly. "If there's one thing humans hate it is elves gathering…"
"Regrettably, you are likely correct. With time the humans will grow more suspicious of these camps and likely find some reason or another to expunge them…"
"Then why don't we do something about it? Give the elves a safe haven…"
He laughed. "Vhenan, I know you wish nothing more than to help your people but the majority of them are city elves, accustomed to surviving by a thread but still not capable of fighting or even hunting for that matter; not used to our type of life. To take them on would be a burden, one we can ill afford…"
"A burden?!" she exclaimed before he could finish. "They could learn, Solas, pull their weight in other ways." His expression remained irritatingly doubting. Ellana gazed down at her daughter. "Is our child not a burden? We feed her, clothe her, keep her safe - for what, Solas?"
He let out an exasperated sigh. "That is different. We do that out of love, in the knowledge that she will more than pay it back as she grows…"
"Then why not give them the same chance? It may cost us in the beginning but what will we get from it? Potentially hundreds more to add to our cause."
His expression softened noticeably and she smiled, rising to her feet.
"Think on it and I am certain you will see the right course," she remarked, walking away in to the nursery.
The first images Mirwen had ever seen had been unique in that they existed alone. Unlike those that followed which seldom repeated themselves, these two did, over and over, until she finally understood what they meant. The first - two panes of mirrored glass forced together to shatter and the second - another pane fracturing beneath the force of a great turning wheel. She was young when she saw them but still wiser than your average elf. She had read much, seen much more and with that knowledge it did not take her long to determine that the glass represented the elves. It seemed so obvious once she knew – simple as glass was but yet the mirrored effect, heightening the depth and the magic it reached. Then of course there were the Eluvians, so strongly associated with the elves and thus a rather banal choice. The wheel had been harder but once she knew what the mirrors represented it was only a matter of time. Unrelenting in its drive ever forward, the wheel was the human race in its very essence and all the more fitting for it to be crushing the elves beneath its great journey. As soon as she reached this conclusion, the images stopped repeating their lesson.
"Fate cannot be changed."
That was what her father used to say and for the longest time Mirwen believed it too. With each image she saw, her eyes slowly opened to the truth. It was not about changing fate or submitting to it, fate simply did not exist. There was no great end planned out for us all in the stars, there was only choice and that alone gave the power to determine our purpose. With this in mind she had pondered the first images again and how the whole world could choose to keep the mirror from shattering. The first and most obvious answer was to destroy the wheel, keep it from crushing the elves in to the ground beneath but that only led inexorably to the other end. No longer forced down, the elves would rise and multiply until they shattered themselves. She had pondered it long and hard all the while seeing other images, ones that made little sense to her – blood in the water as dark tendrils rise; a doe and a raven speeding through the woods towards a bleeding wolf; crystal touched by a tiny bird, repairing a fractured landscape. It was confusing, overwhelming and she still could not see what could keep the glass from shattering. That was until she saw another image – a unity against all that was natural. It was then that she realised that it was not about stopping the wheel or keeping the mirrors separate; it was about changing their very nature.
Mirwen made her way up the staircase of the tower with little apprehension. While she had no desire to see the Wolf, she doubted he would leave his personal sanctum long enough to even notice she had disturbed the lower levels. As she knocked on the door to Varden's office, she thought of her father for the first time in a long time.
"Fate cannot be changed…oh father, how wrong you were," she thought with a smile.
Once the man inside had bid her to enter she obliged, closing the door behind her.
"You again?" Varden remarked with a hint of annoyance. "I have been advised not to listen to a word you say…"
"I would expect no less," she replied with a smirk. "What more has the Wolf told you?"
He regarded her carefully. "I am not at liberty to say." Meeting her twinkling blue eyes he sighed. "But, the long and short of it was that you can no longer be trusted."
"And what is your belief?" the Keeper asked, coming closer to the desk and thus closer to him.
He broke their eye contact thoughtfully. "That you have angered him but remain as harmless as always." He gazed back up at her. "Whatever you did do, it must have been bad to…"
"It was the usual actually, a difference of opinion but you know how he is; so blinded when he believes he knows what is right." She turned away, pondering. "That will only worsen…pride to the last."
Varden stared blankly at her. He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off before he could get out even a sound.
"You care little for my musings, as many have before you," she interrupted with another smirk. "But know the game has changed and with it the sky will open …"
"I am aware of his plans, you need not define them for me," he interrupted with clear, ringing annoyance.
Mirwen continued to smile. "I know you are, you care not for this world and thus do not lament its passing but that is not what any of us should fear. The change brings not the beginning of the new; it opens the sky to feed the old, prolong the…"
He was still staring at her but now his annoyance was undeniable. She petered off knowing she would never get through to him this way. He was a man who needed to see things with his own eyes and she could give him that.
"You tire of my riddles but would you grant me a request?" she eventually asked.
He regarded her with suspicious curiosity. "That depends on the request…"
She fixed her glinting eyes to his, expression suddenly serious. "Watch, wait and see. As the darkness grows the plans will change beneath you; shadowed in secrecy. Remain vigilant, see the changes as they happen and keep yourself from being blinded. You are a part of everything and that should never change. Do this and once you have, act; that is all I ask of you."
His brow remained deeply furrowed. "Very well…" he finally answered.
Mirwen smiled to herself as she left.
Ellana sat waiting in the forest. Worry no longer consumed her, clarity and purpose rendering it all but useless. She had a plan and finally thought she had determined a way to see it forward. She only had a small window but that was all she needed to get started. He was late and the stone she sat upon was becoming rather uncomfortable. She jostled her stirring daughter as she rose, carefully avoiding the leather bag that lay at her feet. Just like Solas, she had her own little books where she recorded her musings – one for the elvhen language, one for her lessons on the magical arts and a third for her personal thoughts. A forth, blank currently but hoping to be filled, lay waiting in the bag she stepped over along with writing supplies. The Eluvian hummed at her side, the sound still satisfying even after all this time. Twigs crunched and leaves shuddered as Ellana turned out toward the direction of their home.
"You're late," Ellana stated as the old man slowly emerged from the cover of the trees. "Is keeping a mother waiting not frowned upon in your culture?"
Getros smiled at her and what annoyance she had, left her. "I do apologise, my Lady. Your note was vague and I was uncertain where this place actually was. Excuse a bumbling old man…"
"You are excused…" she replied, grinning to herself as he fluttered his fingers for her squealing daughter. "…by us both. Would you care to hold her?"
The old man looked amusingly worried for a moment but seemed reassured by Ellana's gentle smile. "I would be honoured."
She handed her daughter carefully over, Emmaera seeming thoroughly amused by the new person to dote on her. Ellana collected her bag off the ground and gestured to the old man.
"Come. We have much to discuss."
He passed through the Eluvian behind her with little apprehension but she was unsurprised by this. His ease was just a confirmation to her.
"I must admit your note was rather curious, my Lady," he started, walking dutifully at her side. "As hard as I tried, I could not imagine what you could possibly need from me…"
Ellana did not reply, only smiling. She laid her bag down at the base of a ruined column just short of the centre of the valley. Dhaveira was nowhere to be seen but Ellana knew she would be on her way. Their personal link meant that the dragon seldom missed her favourite visitor.
"Sit," Ellana ordered, gesturing to an appropriate pillar as she too did the same. "Thank you for meeting with me. I can imagine you were somewhat conflicted, especially if you did as I requested and informed no one…"
As she was to him, he regarded her carefully. "I saw no reason to inform anyone of your request, although I wonder now if that was wise?"
She laughed lightly. "You have nothing to fear; it was merely a precaution on my end, nothing more."
No doubt also expecting the dragon, his gaze darted about every so often but he took this moment to fix his eyes questioningly to hers. "Do not leave me in suspense, my dear – what is it you wish of me?"
She afforded him another few seconds of anticipation. "I need you to teach me how to read elvhen."
His brow furrowed deeply as the baby let out a loud squeal from his arms. "What makes you think I can do that?"
Ellana rolled her eyes as she rose and came over to comfort her child. "Look in to her eyes and tell me what you see?" Getros gazed down and then back up, confusion written on his expression. "The grey is paler even than mine…really heightens the violet, doesn't it?" She smiled as she regarded his darkening look. "Such a pale base colour…it's so much more obvious than Fen'Harel's and yours for that matter…" His eyes were wide now, the violet in them shining out so obviously to her. "I am no fool, Commander, this mark of the elvhen is not one that I miss easily."
"Ah…you have…well done, my Lady," he relented, seeming impressed by her deduction.
To Ellana his reaction only suggested that his expectations of her must be pretty low. She suppressed the annoyance the thought brought her before continuing, "You are well placed to teach me, one of the few; if you would?"
He regarded her carefully as she took the child back in to her arms. "Why should I?"
"Because I asked; because you value me; because there's a hole in the plan – pick a reason…" she replied, taking her seat once more.
"A hole?"
A shriek sounded out across the infinite sky and the old man jumped. Ellana rose as a second shriek followed.
"Deny it all you want but I have seen it in your eyes, you are doubting him," she started, raising her voice to be heard over the sound of beating wings. "I would threaten to tell him but we would both be fools to think he does not already know…"
Dhaveira broke over the cliffs with a roar, slowing her wings to allow for her descent. Getros gasped at the sight of her monumental form.
"Understand, there are far more difficult questions I could be asking of you," Ellana went on as the dragon crashed down to the ground. "Count yourself lucky that this is the extent of my need and that I respect you enough not to sway your loyalty."
The tiny elf met the hulking beast with a soft touch, one it appreciated greatly. Huge eyes turned to the child and the dragon trilled happily before sending out a jet of flames to light up the sky above them all.
The old man's eyes shone with the dancing blue fire. "Because you asked, my Lady, it will be as you wish."
She turned back to him, smiling resolvedly. "Good. Then let us begin."