Well look at you, you got through the first chapter without pressing the big ole 'x' in the upper right hand corner. Might as well keep going, yeah? Also, in regards to this chapter and the next. I wanted to get these three out in one go because well, they are what leads into the story. Just one or two wasn't gonna do it justice, or keep you, the reader, hooked. Most likely. Will I be posting three chapters every week? That's a negative. I'm a grown up with a grown up job and a spouse and in laws and family obligations, I wish I had as much time for writing as I did in high school-no sleep, no problem- but I just don't. That being said, this story will be getting weekly updates, so be on the look out for chapter four sometime in the first week of October!
Love ya'll
II.
I dream that instead of a heart beating inside of my chest, there is a pulsating black hole.
Monsters climb out of it and consume me, whole.
I wake with a jolt on the floor of my room. A night spent with my back on the concrete floor isn't appealing, but waking Del after he had sprawled out like a starfish across my mattress, upon my departure last night, was not happening. He is still snoring when I wake, a kink in my neck, my limbs tingling after I thrashed into the floor. I groan, pushing the tangled mess that remains of my long blonde hair out of my face. As per usual my bangs flop back down into one of my eyes, I've got a dreadful cowlick right in the center of my head, so when my options are bangs that hang in my eyes, or bangs that stand straight up, I can clearly choose the lesser of the two evils.
The bathroom mirror is not my friend this morning. After I take a piping hot shower and run a brush through my hair, I put on mascara and lipstick –I had resolved a long time ago to stop attempting to conceal the mole just below the left corner of my mouth, the corner that my bangs don't cover. Finally, I loop my hair into a pony tail and turn away from the barely human looking creature in the mirror. At least now it looks like I've put some effort into getting ready. I'm wearing a pair of white shorts, a black belt with a big side pouch for different mix ingredients and am zipping up a red and black hooded sweatshirt with the shoulders cut out when Amaya knocks on the bathroom door. I know it's Amaya because she knocks so very delicately, even before she lost her hand, it was like she was trying so very hard not to wake anyone when she knocked, even in the middle of the day. Which is completely unnecessary, being that a thousand cluster bomb explosions couldn't wake Del. I nudge the door open for her as she peeks her head in through the door.
"I didn't expect you to be awake so soon." She whispers to me, looking at me with big, beautiful eyes.
"Del decided to play hero and offered Donald and Goofy his bed, so he assumed I'd want him to share mine with me." I tell her. "And by share, I mean he commandeered my bed as his own."
"You look nice today." She tells me. I roll my eyes. I hate when she blows smoke up my ass.
"I look human, thanks though." I yank on a pair of tall socks to go under the knee high combat boots that I usually yank on before coming out of the bathroom. "You want me to make some breakfast?" I ask. Her eyes become the size of saucepans.
"Oh no, I, Rueki, you're a terrible cook!" She giggles, hiding her face in her good hand. "I'm so sorry, that was mean, you're not terrible." A totally unnecessary apology, I am a terrible cook, I just hoped that I was the only one that thought so. That way I can at least pretend that I'm an important part of this household.
"Yeah, yeah, I'll add that to the list of mean things you've said. I think this marks number four." I wave my hand at her. "You ready for work? I told Sora he could hang around the shop, that way Del doesn't spend the whole day batting his eyes at the poor kid." I smile. She giggles again.
"Well, honestly, I was hoping both you and Del would be up." She says, suddenly sheepish. "Cuz if you want, you don't need to work today. I'm gonna be repairing Sora's ship all day, it's going to be a pretty big project, it's gonna take up my entire day. I was hoping one of you guys could just stay and assist me and the other could show Sora and his friends around town. I figured it might be best for you to go with Sora, cuz like you said, Del just gets too easily excitable, but if you really wanna come with me, you can of course." She's blushing from her hairline to her neck and I can tell she's trying so hard not to be offensive. But Del does our inventory, he would be able to help Amaya find the parts she needs better than I would.
"Oh man, thank goodness you don't need my help." I twirl a loose strand of hair around my finger, pretending to pick at some split ends. "Sora actually asked me last night to show him around town, something about looking for our World's Keyhole? I'd hate to let him down." I'm laying It on kind of thick, I mean even I don't believe me, but Amaya does, that's what matters. Her features visibly light up, she claps her hands together.
"Really? I mean, of course if you want, when you're done, you're more than welcome to—" She starts but I shake my head.
"Don't strain yourself, 'Maya." I smile at her then turn to the couch, where Sora is, indeed snoring. "Kid!" I shout and Sora jolts up eyes wide, blinking comically. "Geddup, we're taking a walk." I tell him. He groans, rubbing his eyes and yawning. I nab my Godhand off the counter and strap my arm into it.
"It's too early." He insists, and I am inclined to agree, but nonetheless, I nab an apple out of a bowl on the counter and throw it at him, and my aim is good. I hit him square in the head. "Ahhk!" He rubs his head, narrowing his eyes at me. I just shrug and grab an apple of my own out of the bowl, biting into it loudly before yanking my boots on.
He follows me as I head out the door and we're greeted to a particularly icy wind, which rips the door from my grasp and slams it behind us.
"Good thing you came with me, if that didn't wake Del up, I don't know what will." I shout to Sora over the sound of whipping wind. He narrows his eyes and cocks his head to the side.
"What?" He shouts back. I shake my head and make a motion for him to follow me. We move as though we are walking through sand. It's a particularly nasty day today and when a series of bombs goes off, and darkness starts to swirl in, I can't even shout over the wind to warn Sora to prepare for battle.
Heartless materialize, coming to life out of the blackness, talons sharp, movements slow and distorted. I'm thankful that I strapped into the Godhand before we left. Of course this couldn't just be a leisurely stroll through town. Sora crouches into a battle stance, and out of thin air, the Keyblade materializes. A gold and silver sword, shaped true to it's name, like a key.
I load a frag grenade and antidote into the Godhand and channel my energy, shooting a 'Blaster Mine' and stunning the Heartless into sleeping. Sora charges and with the swing of his sword, knocks out a row of them. I whip around, smashing the rusted red metal of the Godhand into a cluster of three, and they disintegrate, leaving the world as quickly as they came. Sora looks to me, Keyblade still at the ready. And rightfully so.
Another mass appears, these ones are the 'solider' breed, creaking, clattering metal. I shoot out another Blaster Mine, and we annihilate these ones the same way we did their predecessors, although it takes two attacks for me now to get rid of them, thanks to the energy drained from my mixes. I shake my arm out as another heard of Heartless materialize, these ones looking like giant black orbs from hell. One of them comes barreling at me before I even have time to make a mix and I smash the God hand into it, whirling around, pounding the metal into the creature. As I attempt to spin around, another barrels into my stomach, knocking me flat to the ground, an angle that lets me see Sora trying to fight off three at the same time. Damn, I can't look weak compared to a flipping fourteen year old. I leap onto my feet, a little light headed and I remind myself to limit the mixes for the time being. The weight of the Godhand is almost overbearing, but with a swift kick to one of the orbs, I leap, backflipping over and on top of the first orb. I have to wrap my legs around it as it thrashes, but I beat into it with desperation, slamming the Godhand down with all of my might. The other orb, not very smart, comes barreling into the first one, probably in an attempt to knock me off, which nearly works. But I hang on with all four limbs as they pound into one another, until the one I am riding disintegrates. It takes one more well placed smashing of my Godhand to kill the other. Which leaves me just enough time to race to Sora and help him fight off the last orb. I quickly fish two potions out of the pouch on my belt and offer him one. We both drink greedily, waiting for the next throng to come. When several minutes pass and no more appear, I grab the sleeve of Sora's shirt and make a gesture toward a large building. We sprint inside, ducking into the lobby, which appears to be the only thing unlocked. I'm almost certain this is an old shelter of some sorts, but in all the years I've lived here, it hasn't been functional. Del and Amaya and I tried dozens of times to break open the doors when we were younger but they wouldn't budge.
"What's the plan?" Sora asks, huffing and I sigh.
"Go back home, sleep forever, never worry about the Heartless again?" I try. For a moment he seriously considers it.
"My home's still gone though." He says.
"Well damn." I sigh. "I guess we look for the keyhole then? Is there any rhyme or reason as to where it is, in most worlds?"
Sora rubs the back of his head.
"Well, it's usually hidden until I defeat some really crazy, big Heartless." He confesses and I groan.
"Sounds about right. How do we find, said scary Heartless?"
"Um, well, we usually follow someone around their world, they tell us about a trouble maker who is using the Heartless to their advantage, and either we fight them or they lead us to the Heartless…"
"So what I'm hearing is we currently have no solution. Cool." I nod.
"Well, where do the Heartless usually go in your World? Like is there one direction they all head in?" He asks.
"Yes, the direction where people are. They come at us, they eat our hearts, then they peace the hell out." I say, and I'm not sure if those are the correct logistics as to how Heartless operate, but it sounds right in my head, and Sora doesn't correct me. He just nods.
"Okay, what about parts of town that you don't usually go to?" He's surprisingly patient and calculating for a fourteen year old, and I give him credit. It can't be easy to stay sane when for the sake of your own survival, your brain needs to try to figure out where monsters hide.
I rake my brain as I slide down the wall, taking a seat on the ground. Sora follows suit. From my pocket, I procure a map, something I didn't even realize I still had in there, still it has it's uses when it comes to certain mixes. I lay it out, spreading it across the floor.
"There's gotta be some sort of sensical reasoning to this." I insist, leaning to look at the map, stray pieces of my hair falling into my face.
"Well you said that Amaya got attacked at the shop, right?" He asks me and I shake my head.
"Just outside the shop, so roughly here." I point to one location on the map. I think quickly and pull out a marker.
"What else do you have in your pocket?" He jokes and I smile back.
"It would be easier to give you a list of what I don't have in here." I mark a dot on the map. "There was another really nasty attack, the reason we have a curfew, a few weeks before Amaya got attacked. A little girl was out late, her heart got stolen just past the schoolhouse." I mark another dot on the map, across town.
"What else?" Sora ask and I really have to think, because there have been so many small attacks, so many travelers exaggerating stories of getting attacked for sympathy or in hopes of getting free repairs, so many reports from people we don't even know, but a few more stand out.
"A traveler from another world was staying at the Inn while we fixed his ship, he never came back." I mark a dot on the Inn. "The Orphanage was the first big attack though, right before Del, Amaya and I moved out of there and on our own." I mark another dot. "And then the parade through town on Founders Day. It runs through all of main street, but the attacks didn't start until they got here." I mark another dot and Sora scrunches his face, looking at the dots with a cocked head.
"What order did they happen in?" He asks. I start drawing lines, and three strokes of the marker in, my stomach drops. The five points make a star with the abandoned shelter, the building we're in now at the front and center.
"Damn." I whisper.
"That's here." He says and I roll my eyes.
"You're very smart for a seven year old." I tell him. He itches his nose with his middle finger and I burst out laughing. "Shit, who taught you that one, the Duck you hang out with?" I ask.
"Actually, my friend Riku did." He laughs. "That's a pretty common move when we're in class."
"Lemme guess, he's older and cooler than you?" I ask. Sora pouts.
"Maybe if you spent less time trying to be funny and more time trying to find Heartless—"
"Maybe if you spent less time crashing your ship, we wouldn't be having this conversation." I boop his nose and he rolls his eyes at me. For being such a doofus, this boy really does have a tude on him if you press the right buttons.
"So what is this place?" He asks me.
"I'm pretty sure it was a shelter at some point, for travelers from other worlds. A hostel of sorts, but it's been shut down for as long as I can remember. We used to try to break in all the time as kids." I confess and he smiles a bit self satisfied.
"Betcha didn't have the right key." He taps his Keyblade against the ground.
"Stop being a tool and just see if it'll work."
Those could've been my last words, which actually wouldn't be the worst way to die.
Sora taps the key against the glass of the doors and they fly open, as though they had been waiting for years. We blink, exchanging surprised looks. I hesitate, but Sora takes a step through the doors, and that is when all hell breaks loose.
Heartless pour out of the walls as though they are made from darkness itself.
"Shit!" I hear Sora curse but don't even get time to pick at him for his language.
I hold back rummaging through my pocket as Sora dives in, slashing at the Heartless, despite the fact that they're overwhelming the room. Black Magic Sphere…come on…I find a Master Sphere and slam them both into the Godhand before knocking back another potion. This is gonna take all of me and then some.
"Fall back!" I scream at Sora, feeling the energy rush out of me and build in the Godhand. He casts a look over his shoulder to me, where I stand with a glowing claw attached to my arm, and he dives out of the way, under a table with a missing leg. The Heartless race over, trying to crowd him as I unleash a Tallboy.
It knocks the wind out of me and puts me on my back. The ceiling of the building is hazy, but I see black starting to cloud my vision and I force myself up, onto my knees. I blink back stars and smash my Godhand into several Shadows. They disintegrate quickly, thanks to the immense damage dealt by the Tallboy. They're a bitch and a half to cook up, even at full health, but they're worth it for the widespread, catastrophic damage. I see Sora clamber out from beneath the table, and I push myself up, off of my knees. I nearly topple over onto the Heartless, but I whip my body around, smashing my claw into them. I beat and beat, trying to make my way over to Sora, despite the claws that rip through the exposed skin of my thighs. These fuckers maybe be small and weak, but they're annoying as all hell. I kick one out of the way, launching a grenade from out of my pocket. It explodes in a burst, taking out a few Heartless without wasting any of my energy
"There are too many!" Sora shouts out. And that's when a green light washes over him. And me.
"Sora!" Donald rasps from the front door. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Don'tcha know, we've gotta stick together to fight the Heartless!" Goofy reminds him.
"This wasn't exactly planned, this just kinda happened." I insist, feeling much better after being cured, and I smash my claw into a cluster of Shadows, taking them out in one swipe. Much better.
Planned or not, Donald and Goofy join us, Goofy smashing his shield into Heartless, Donald casting magic on them, a series of third level spells, knocking out groups of them, while Sora and I slice at them with our weapons. It takes forever, there have got to be thousands of them, but at long last, the room is clear, and the four of us fall into a heap, leaning with our backs against one another.
"I never want to do that again." I breathe.
"I uh, I think my Shield's busted." Goofy says.
"I'm so tired." Sora heaves.
"Tired? You're tired? I'm so awake I could…" Donald doesn't get to finish his very fake, very out of breath statement though. Underneath the four of us a rumbling starts, and it's all we can do to scramble away from one another, to opposite sides of the room as a crack slices open through the floor. An arm reaches out: yellow and deadly, jagged, like an old rusted machine. But the creature moves quickly, in huge movements, erupting from the core of the world as though it has had eons to rest.
A drill protrudes from one hand. The left leg is a cannon. It looks directly at me and fires a shot. I throw myself out of the way, and land hard, with a thud, thanks to the weight of the Godhand. It looks to Donald, and launches a cannon. He casts a Magnera spell and the cannon blows back, knocking the creature on it's back. As it rights itself, I see the Heartless insignia on it's underside and Sora and I exchange a knowing look. Here's the big, bad, scary Heartless. It shoots another cannon ball at Goofy, who blocks it, despite the dent in his shield, and the cannon ball, once again knocks the Heartless over. It follows the same suit with Sora, who also deflects, before it turns on me again, this time the drill coming to life. It sprints over to me drill in it's outstretched arm. I don't have enough energy to create any more mixes, so I chuck a grenade at it and hope for the best. It falters and races to Donald, but I run after it, slashing at it from the back. It creaks and stutters, unable to register who it's coming at. It whips around, suddenly dangerously, close to me, drill in it's face, when Donald casts a fire spell, it turns back around to him, before it can get me and this time Goofy closes in, knocking it. It rounds on him and Sora slashes at it's back.
As it spins around it grows closer and closer to each of us, and by time Sora delivers the final blow, the drill has grazed the skin of my face. The Heartless creaks and stutters before combusting into rays of light. I have to shield my eyes until finally the light dissipates. It does and the Heartless is gone and I sink onto the floor, lying flat on my back, staring up at the ceiling. Once again, Donald, Goofy and Sora are in the heap with me, panting, sweating and mildly dying. Donald has enough MP left to cast Curaga on he and Goofy and I roll Sora an Elixir as I drink one of my own.
"I'm dying." Donald sighs.
"I don't think I can do that again." Goofy says.
"I don't want to do that again." Sora agrees. I just press the heels of my hands into my eyes.
"That's it, right? Like there's not another bastard of one after this?" I ask. The air goes still.
We wait for a minute, then another, then another.
We wait a lot longer than we should before another light flashes in front of us and I want to cry. If this is another fucking Heartless…
But it's not. A Keyhole appears on the ceiling and with lazy limbs, Sora points his sword at the ceiling and a burst of light shoots out of the tip of the blade and through the Keyhole. Once again, it's so bright, I have to shield my eyes, but once I do, the Keyhole is gone and I take a breath.
"That's it?" I ask and Sora nods.
"That's it." He confirms.
"But uh…we don't need to move for a little while, right?" Goofy asks.
"I hope not." Donald sighs.
And we don't move for at least another hour. When we are finally able to get back to our feet, we head right back home to find Del and Amaya still gone.
"They left before we did." Donald tells us.
"Well, I guess your ship must suck to repair." I shrug.
"Didn't you say you didn't have the parts to repair it?" Sora asks me and I shrug.
"We don't, I'm sure we don't. But Amaya said she has a plan." I say with a shrug and then add "I mean, she's a sweetheart, she'd do anything she can to help." More for Sora's benefit than mine, because truth be told, I'm worried about what kind of plan she might have an how far in debt it might put us. So much munny is rolled into that shop, we really can't afford to lose more than a few parts in exchange for Sora saving our world.
"Sounds like she's a good friend." He says and I nod.
"They're both turds, but so am I, so it's fine." I laugh, and as if on key, Del and Amaya bust through the door at that moment.
"Oh! Sora, Donald, Goofy! How was your tour?" Amaya asks.
"Well, we sealed the Keyhole, defeated some Heartless." Donald starts.
"And froze our butts off." Goofy laughs.
"So now we're hungry." Sora laughs and Amaya bites her lip.
"You sealed the Keyhole?" She looks like she's holding back tears, which is mildly embarrassing. She throws her arms around Sora and wraps him in a tight hug, leaving me feeling quite a bit like chopped liver.
"That explains why there were no Heartless on the way home! That's so freaking cool, Sora, what did you do? How did you fight them? Where was the Keyhole? How many Heartless do you think there were?" Del asks, crowding Sora while he is still wrapped in Amaya's embrace.
"Um a lot? Rueki was there, she can probably tell you?" He says it more like a question and Del waves his hands.
"But you're the Keyblade master, like you really know what's going on!" Del insists and I roll my eyes.
"I'll make dinner I guess." I mutter and I disappear into the kitchen as my friends coo over Sora.
I grab some leftover chili and start dishing it out into bowls.
I don't even realize when Amaya appears beside me, but she does, and helps me start spooning.
"Oh, Rueki, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to not thank you, I mean of course, I am so thankful that you helped Sora, you're such a strong person." She is talking a mile a minute and I shake my head at her.
"It's okay. I don't need to be thanked, not having the Heartless around will be thanks enough." I say, though I definitely don't mean it. Fuck Del, completely brushing me aside like that. And after I pretended to tolerate sex with him and everything. And hey, fuck Amaya too, cuz I know she's only fawning over me now to assuage her guilt at ignoring me.
"I know! It'll be so lovely not to have to run, not to have to live in fear." Amaya is biting her lip, but it doesn't hide her smile. "I only wish there was something we could do to repay Sora and his friends."
"Well you were working on his ship, right? If you've got it fixed, I'd call that even." I shrug. Amaya is still chewing on her lip. "I know that face, what's wrong?"
"You couldn't fix my ship." Sora's voice sounds off behind us, incredibly doom and gloom for him. We turn, me leaning against the counter top, Amaya with her fingers against her cheek
"I'm sorry Sora…that's true." Amaya looks down at her feet. "We won't be able to fix your ship, I mean it's not in bad shape, but it won't take you as far as you want to go. So I made you a new one!" She looks up, eyes light, smile spread across her face like 'haha gotcha!'
"Everything's all state of the art, the best ship money can buy!" Del leans in from the other room, standing against the wall.
"What?" Sora and I ask at the same time.
"I can't accept this!" Sora insists as I stare back and forth, incredulously between Del and Amaya.
"Sure you can, you saved our world!" Del insists.
"Consider it our gift to you!" Amaya beams.
"Guys, this is…" Sora is trying and failing to come up with words, so I step in for him.
"Fucking ridiculous is what it is. Do you not care about eating for the next month?Or have you both somehow forgotten how expensive parts are when you're building a ship from scratch?" I snap. Del and Amaya both look me over for a long quiet moment.
"Do you even realize how cold you're being?" Del looks at me incredulously.
"Better cold than stupid!" I snap at him. "We don't have the money to be throwing parts away, especially on a ~happy joy free gift~ of a job! I get it, you've got a raging hardon for this guy's heroics and Amaya can't tell someone no, but I can. We will literally starve if we give away a free ship.I am not exagerating and the both of you should be smart enough to realize that!"
"Rueki, what Sora did for us isn't something we can ever repay, this is the least we can do!" Amaya insists and I whip around on her.
"No, housing him for free and doing free repairs on the ship that already exists was the least we could do. What you did was charity work, and without even consulting me?" I ask.
"You were busy!" Amaya insists.
"And you're selfish." Del grumbles.
"And you're an overbearing, dull, unimportant moron who thinks he can give meaning to his idiotic existence by shoving his nose up the ass of anything new and exciting that crosses the atmoshpere. And maybe it makes you feel like you're not an asshole for us leaving Amaya unprotected at the shop that night. But newsflash, Del, us going bankrupt isn't going to give anything meaning, it's just going to make us homeless." I remind him and his eyes flash, something frightened and hurt, but I don't care. Who the hell do they think they are?
"Rueki, I'll pay." Sora insists. "We've got enough munny, I swear."
"No you won't, this is our way of saying thank you, Rueki is just being greedy." Del sneers.
"I'm being practical, which I understand, is something you can't even spell, but use your mind for once Del! Or at the very least, get the opinion of someone who is, I dunno, 1/3rd owner of the shop? Cuz that's kind of a big decision to make without even saying a word to me!" I snap. He looks me over with narrow eyes, crossing his arms to his chest.
"Is that really all you think of us, Rueki? That I'm dumb and Amaya is a doormat with no opinion of her own?" He asks and I scoff.
"Dear Twilight, do you not even realize that this is so not the time to be having this argument?" I ask.
"Well it sounds like it should be, cuz that's the only reason you think your opinion is more valid. Amaya and I are beneath you, and therefore we don't deserve a say. But that's a pretty weak argument if you ask me." He insists and I grab a fistfull of hair from my temple, trying so hard to resist the urge to pull it out.
"We. Will. Starve. On. The. Streets." I say, between breaths. "Is that not a good enough argument for you?" I ask.
"We'll make it up later in the month." Amaya pipes in.
"You, I would recommend you shut up, because I know Del talked you into this shit so he could look cool for his new boyfriend." I wave a hand at her and her jaw actually drops.
"No, it was my choice Rueki! I was the one attacked by the Heartless, I am the one who wants to show gratitude to the person who rid our world of the things I still have nightmares about!" She shrieks.
"That was not mine or Del's fault, 'Maya. So you could lay off rubbing it in." I remind her.
"And you could've stayed with me instead of being so controlled by your horomones that you ran off with Del the first chance you got! But this isn't about fault, this is about paying our respects!" Her good hand is balled into a fist and I roll my eyes.
"You are such a bleeding heart, such a flipping martyr. It's cool though, that you'd rather screw yourself over if it meant you could pat yourself on the back and go 'wow, I did a good deed, my existence isn't meaningless'." I roll my eyes.
"Is that what you think of us?" Del barks. "That we're meaningless?"
"No, I think you're fucking dumb and she's a sap and that you're both shit friends. You care more about your consious than you do about me! About yourselves!"
"At least we have consciousess, you're an ice cold bitch!" Del snaps and I'd like to say I hit him. I'd like to say I cried. But his words don't even phase me. Instead I just roll my eyes and sneer.
The kitchen is quiet for a strained, pregnant moment before Sora speaks.
"I can pay…" He says in a small voice.
"No!" Del and Amaya both shout.
"You know, it's pretty fucking clear that you guys would certainly benefit from my not being around." I snarl.
I don't offer another word. Instead I strap into my Godhand and stomp out the door.
I am around the corner before I notice Sora, Donald and Goofy chasing after me. It doesn't bother me that the idiot brigade hasn't even bothered to follow me. My own friends don't give a damn enough to try to make ammends. Whatever, maybe Del was right, maybe I am above them, maybe they suck and all they are, is two people I put up with for convenience sake. After all, why would I want to be friends with some sappy, spineless, moron of a girl and date a cute, idiotic pest of a boy?
But no, I don't mean that, I was pissed. I was acting out of anger, thinking out of anger. Del and Amaya are my friends and as much as my ego wants to think I don't need them…
Well I don't need them, but I want them. And they might very well need me.
I slow down a little and hear footsteps clattering behind me.
"Rueki!" Sora breathes! "Look, I'm sorry, If I would've known what they were trying to do I would've refused! I can pay you guys, I know Del and Amaya don't want me to but I don't want you guys to lose your house or the shop!"
I heave a sigh.
"That wasn't something I wanted to drag you into." I shake my head. "They should've told you, you know warned you that it's gonna be costly. I mean I could even handle them giving you the ship at wholesale…" I shake my head. "Sorry. We'll work it out. It's fine."
"I can't accept such a huge gift, Rueki!" He insists and I smile a little.
"That's cuz you're not a suck human being. But maybe they're right. Maybe I am and I should be bending over backwards to give you a free ship. I just dunno anymore. Maybe they're better off without me and my bad attitude. Maybe I should build a ship of my own and find my home world without them." I shrug. Sora looks at me with hurt eyes. "C'mon, let's get you to your ship."
We walk through town, taking the longest way possible, unbeknownst to the trio. And yeah, it's probably a little bit mean of me to subject them to unnecessary cold, but it does help me clear my head. And come to terms with the fact that I need to apologize to my friends, which almost pains me to do. It makes me feel like an idiot, having to admit that I was wrong. But it'll definitely make for more harmonious living. I unlock the garage, pop open the roof of the shop, and the light of the day lights up two ships: Sora's mostly fixed Kingdom and a newer, sleeker ship.
"It's smaller." Donald says.
"But probably faster." Goofy counters.
"Looks like these are the keys." I toss them to Goofy, who fumbles them. Donald ends up snatching them.
"I'm flying." Donald takes them and unlocks the ship, opening it up and heading in. Goofy follows suit. And I have to admit, it's nice. I'm surprised they were able to crank it out in just a few hours, but I suppose nothing should surprise me when it comes to what my friends will do to be kind.
Sora looks me over for a long minute, rubbing the back of his head.
"Are you and your friends gonna be okay?" He asks and I shrug.
"Probably. And if not, it's not your problem, don't worry kid." I try.
"You could come with us?" Sora tilts his head to the side and I can see it is a strained effort. I don't belong any more in his trio than I do in my own. I offer him a weak smile and shrug.
"Nah, you'd hate traveling with me. I'm a pain in the ass, remember?" I ask and he falters.
"But what about finding your home world? And traveling?" He reminds me, as though I need it.
"No offense, kid, but I'm not equipped for saving the world. I'd get in your way. I want to find my home world. I want to prove myself on my own, I don't want to feel like I owe anyone for saving me from my not so terrible life." I insist.
"But…" He starts and I shake my head.
"Like I said, I want to have adventures on my own, make new friends, broaden my horizons, break free from this tiny world. I can't do that as your tagalong." I remind him. He looks at me for a long moment and then nods. "If I can make amends with my friends and do that with them, cool. If not, well I know what I want and nothing's gonna hold me back."
"I'm glad we became friends, Rueki." He tells me and I heave a sigh, pulling him into a tight hug. After a moment I release him and pat his head.
"Me too, kid." I reply.
"See you around, old lady." He smiles.
"Yeah, yeah, get outta here before I beat your ass." I wave my hands at him. He doesn't turn back as he leaves, but I watch them take off and disappear into the atmosphere.
After leaving and closing the garage, I stand out in the cold for a minute, rubbing my arms. I should probably apologize to Del. I should probably thank Amaya and tell her that she's a good person for helping Sora. I rehearse my apology like a mantra in my head on my walk home. They don't tend to come easy for me, but like I told Sora, I don't have a terrible life. I need to learn to embrace that and stop waiting for greatness to happen.
I am not prepared for what I see as I push my shoulder into the door of our home, opening it wide. Del sits at the kitchen table, shirt half way across the room, lying draped over the couch, along with his belt, his shoes, Amaya's jacket…
She's straddling him, her choppy dark hair hanging in her face as she kisses down his neck. His head is thrown back, hands sliding the zipper of her dress down. His eyes are closed and moans are spilling from his lips.
"Maya…" He breathes her name like it is the gospel. A gust of wind slams the door shut behind me and Del jolts up. Amaya literally falls off of his lap and onto her ass on the ground. His eyes go wide as he takes in the sight of me. He climbs up, zipping his jeans—which do not hide the erection protruding from his pants. Amaya turns, her good eye meeting me.
"Fuck. Shit." Del chokes out.
"Rueki!" Amaya's face turns hot pink. "We were just…we thought…where's Sora?" She asks. I blink, because that's all I can think to do.
I should be hurt. I should be devastated. I should be angry. I should be something.
I'm not even shocked.
This is no more inconvenient to me than the icy wind. What kind of ice cold bitch can catch her best friend and her boyfriend going at it and feel nothing at all?
Scratch that, I do feel something. A heavy, hollow nothingness in the pit of my stomach.
"We thought you'd be out longer. It's not what it looks like. She was hurt over what you said, I was comforting her." Del says these very contradicting things and I just look at him with a twisted, mildly displeased face, because that seems like the expression I am supposed to show. C'mon Rueki! I've gotten pissed at much less than this.
But did I ever love him? Were he and Amaya ever more than just the best of an odd situation?
I feel my temples pounding and I shake my head, trying to shake off the disgusting suspicion that I have spent the past nine years faking my way through friendship, because who the hell does that? What kind of person thinks that is appropriate?
"This is the first time this has ever happened, Rueki, we are so sorry, nothing like this will ever happen again, it was just the heat of the moment and—" Amaya starts, all poetic and pleading, but Del cuts her off.
"You've been acting so distant lately, and Amaya needed me and it just felt so good to be needed, I mean you didn't love me or anything, right? I mean you were so mean earlier. " Del swipes a hand through his hair.
"Omigod, Del, that is not helping!" Amaya turns to him with a bright red face.
"Hey, if she weren't so cold, I wouldn't have—"
I can't hear any more of this.
As quickly as I entered the house, I turn to leave, letting the door slam behind me. The icy wind is, for the first time in the nine years that I have memory of, soothing. I want to stand there, eyes closed, back to the door, letting the wind beat into me, just to prove I can feel something, but that is too high a risk. There is a good chance Del and Amaya will come after me as soon as they are dressed, and by then, I don't want to be anywhere near them. I don't want to be anywhere where they can come to plead, to try to absolve themselves of guilt. I don't want to listen to them tell me it's my fault for being an ice queen.
Because it might be true.
Do I even have a heart? Or am I no better than the creatures I just helped the keybearer banish from this world?
I set my hand to my chest, wanting to listen to the sound of it beating, but my hands are already numb from the weather. I cannot feel anything, let alone a hummingbird heartbeat.
They don't need me. They don't need a liar, a fake friend, an emotionless piece of trash weighing them down any further. They need each other, but they don't need me.
Have I been faking this the entire time, counting down the minutes until I could leave them behind, unconsciously? Have I been spending these past nine years, thinking I am above them, above their friendship, above caring about them? I didn't think so, but if not, then what the hell kind of person barely even blinks when she sees the boy she is supposed to love—or at least like— hooking up with the closest thing she has to a sister?
I need to get away from them, as far as I can.
I break out into a sprint, and I don't even think about what I want to do, but my body understands what my brain is subconsciously thinking, without even being told. My legs, though short and thick, take me to the Gummi Repair Shop before Del or Amaya can catch up to me. I unlock the door to the Mechanic's Bay and take one look at the huge ship sitting on deck. A Kingdom, Amaya had called it. I remember her words to Sora clear as day 'We won't be able to fix your ship, I mean it's not in bad shape, but it won't take you as far as you want to go. So I made you a new one!' But I don't need to go as far as Sora. I just need the next world over. After all, I might not even be from this world and…
I want to leave behind this disturbing disassociation. I want to get into the air and fly so fast that I leave all traces of myself behind. I want to fly somewhere that stings and burns just so I can prove to myself that I am not defective.
I slam my fist onto a button, opening the roof of the building before stomping over to the desk. As the roof creaks open, I grab the keys to the ship from the desk and unlock it. A ramp slides out of a door and as soon as I am safely inside, it retracts, the door shutting behind it.
It's huge, but overall, the same layout I'm used to from all the test flights I've done. Guns, acceleration, and rows upon rows of buttons, triggering different reactions from the ship. I climb into the pilot's seat, strapping myself in before I jam the keys into the ignition. I turn them and the ship roars to life. I pull a lever and it starts to ascend. I climb and climb, making sure I am right at the edge of my world before I take off.
For being as hefty as it is, the Kingdom moves launching me through space at blinding speed, lighting up every nerve ending on my skin. I laugh, eyes bright and wild as I soar, as the light of the stars zooms past me. I cruise like this for an hour at least, wondering if I ever really need to come down. I feel good, I feel something.
That is when something grabs onto the ship and pulls.
There is no world in site, just a black mass of nothingness, and for a moment I panic. A black hole is hella difficult to pull away from. But just as quick as panic sets in, my reflexes take control. I slam into the over drive button and hurtle one of the thrusters forward, whipping the ship away from the black hole at top speed. It's touch and go for a minute, but I tear free.
Just in time to realize which of the wings on the ship is still busted.
The right wing, the wing closest to the hole rips off, spiraling straight into the center of the mass.
"Fuck!" I cry out, cranking the thrusters once more, but it's no luck. Without the wing, the ship quickly loses altitude, sinking swiftly into the blackness. The gravity of this hole is outrageously strong, stronger than anything I've ever heard of. I pinch my eyes shut and for a second, I think to pray, but I don't know what to pray to.
So I let myself sink.
The ship grows hot as it falls and as quickly as I was taken by the blackness, grey light floods the windows of the ship. A city, not unlike my home world appears around me. Tall grey buildings, pounding rain, black skies
I slam several of the buttons in the front, trying to find the one to eject me from the ship, but I'm not fast enough.
The impact of the ship smashing into the ground knocks me unconscious.