A/N - So so so so so sorry for the delay. This damn chapter has gone through 3 incarnations - 3! But I sort of got there in the end. Anyway, hope it was worth the wait!

When Solas had first thought to teach Aemilia, he imagined it would not last long. He had only so many moments in time and in those few, he wished only to find some relief. He certainly enjoyed teaching but if this world had shown him anything, it was that few were willing to learn. Aemilia was an exception. While it was true that she lived up to his rather poor expectations in the first instance, she seemed to have taken Ellana's touching advice to heart and that was a welcome change. It was gratifying to see her doing so well but still his mind wandered. It seemed that nowadays, relief of any kind was beyond him.

"Try again," Solas called out to her.

In truth, he had not watched her latest attempt but a repeat would not be wasted. They had been at it for quite some time and his thoughts were loud, too loud. She would be disappointed but he would have to bring their lesson to an end soon.

"Did you see that?" she asked, suddenly right in front of him.

Eyes glazed for what had felt like only a moment, he had not even noticed her return let alone seen her next effort. He gazed up at her unable to conceal the furrow across his brow or the vacancy that remained deep within his eyes.

"Yes…uh…excellent work."

She raised an eyebrow. "It was, was it?" Kneeling down on the grass at his side, she laughed. "Funny, considering I didn't even do anything."

His eyes narrowed as he registered her words. "I deserved deceit?"

"You're troubled again." Brow lowering and tone thick with accusation, she stared at him clearly expecting more of an answer than he would ever be willing to give.

He sighed as he rose to his feet from the forest floor. "Always…it comes with the territory. Best to ignore it."

She looked like she wanted to say more but seemed to suppress the urge. Disappointment clouded the bronze of her irises. "You're leaving?"

"I need…" He faltered, doubting she would appreciate the idea that what he needed most was Ellana. "There is something I must do. Besides, you do not need me here whilst you read." He gestured to the book laid on the ground where he had sat.

"I can keep it?" she asked with a hint of excitement.

"For now; although I would like it back once you are finished." He started off before she could say anything more to keep him. "Enjoy it in the meantime."

"I will!" she called after him.

As he stalked back in the direction of the tower, he found himself pondering what it would actually be like if Aemilia was in Ellana's place. She would be a bad influence, he knew that much. Ellana was similar to him in many ways but a perfect counterpoint where it mattered. He had no idea he even needed the challenge before he met her but now, he could no longer imagine living without it. He shared so much in common with Aemilia but so many of her negative points were attributes he too struggled with or could so naturally adopt. Even worse than that, her interest in him seemed to rest predominantly on his talents and position. Back when he was just a simple mage, she would not have looked at him twice. Ellana had and while he knew she did enjoy his power, it was not what had led her to him. If threat somehow became absent from this world then he was sure she would quite happily watch the might of the Dread Wolf ebb away and still love him. In much the same way as he did, she found value in the parts of him that were the antithesis to what she saw as her flaws – his calm to her worry; her blind compassion to his hardened heart; his answers to her questions. He laughed to himself as he entered the tower, thinking on the fact that he had somehow deviated his original topic to one entirely focused on Ellana. It happened so often but he still found it amusing. He took a moment to enjoy how quiet his mind had become and marvel that it seemed she did not even need to be in his presence to have her influence.

But the thought cleared and with it, his brow wrinkled in question. Little was going on in the tower but there were people gazing strangely up to the rafters. One elf met his questioning stare, unafraid but that was becoming something of a regular occurrence since Ellana had been declared as his one.

"There's been loud banging," the elf explained, turning back up to what Solas presumed was the direction of the sound. "Stopped a while ago but…"

Solas did not wait for him to finish. He did not wish to waste time chastising when he could be finding out for himself. It would be bordering on miraculous for an enemy to gain access to his inner sanctum but it still frustrated him that no one had thought to investigate. As he ascended to his home, however, he did consider that they were not to know he was not there. Further, he imagined that loud noises from the top floor were probably something of a normal occurrence, most of all when Emmaera was out of their hands. He reddened slightly at the thought and felt regret at his harsh judgement.

By the time he reached the door, he certainly could not hear any sounds beyond. No light emanated from the base, which was odd but not unwarranted given that it was evening time. He opened the door and came to a sudden stop, mouth gaping open. His office was in complete ruin. Items, so many he could not even begin to identify them, were strewn about the floor. The bookcases and cabinets had all been emptied and some had been shifted from their positions. One actually lay on its side, wood splintered from the fall. His desk had been moved too and all the items that usually littered its surface, discarded in favour of the floor. All that remained were two open books and a pile of papers. He recognised one of the books all too well.

"Ellana?" he called out to silence.

His compulsion was to go and find her but the desire to know for certain drew him to the desk. He already understood what it meant, the mere sight of his journal out in the open enough to breed trepidation but he had to know how it had happened. He ignored his familiar writing in favour of the unknown, unsurprised to see it was Ellana's. From what little he could take in, her book appeared to be a master class in reading the elvhen language. He did not know how she had done it but in that moment, he cursed her intelligence. She had been on to him this entire time and he had not suspected a thing. In fact, he had inadvertently helped her along with his foolish good intentions. Damning himself a thousand times over, he turned finally to the sheets of paper. Frantically scrawled across every available space were his own notes, beautifully translated by her hand. His mouth hung open. She knew everything, all of it, without even having to ask. She had outdone him. Rage boiled over and then fear gripped him until all-consuming regret took what little remained.

Page 26 -

"My previous assertion that the lake lacked any value may have been premature. Try as I might, I could not find it on my own. Not until I thought to find Mirwen instead, did the lake appear before me. Were it not an inexplicable notion I would think of her as the key to its location but that begs the question of why. She appears to question it little; perhaps she knows the answer. I imagine it rests in the images themselves and their purpose. Nothing exists within the Fade until it is brought into being – either by the real or the unreal. Some creature, spirit or demon, creates the images; for what purpose, I cannot fathom. All that matters is if they hold truth and I am beginning to understand that, at least in some capacity, they do."

Ellana had not travelled like this in a long time. She had run the first mile or so but could manage little more. She needed to keep moving but her breath was heavy, her heart pounded and her feet hurt. A long way from the Eluvian she had exited, she came to a stop. Everything in her wanted to break down and cry. Hope was what had kept her moving but as soon as she stopped, the words she had read found their way back to repeat across her mind. They were his words, meant for him alone – some that amounted to little more than musings and others that could mean everything. The moment she had read them, truly understood them, she could not believe that the feeling could get any worse but she had been wrong. With time, her own mind only added to the pain his words brought. She leaned against a nearby tree, careful to ensure the bundle across her chest remained secure, and crushed her pain beneath the manufactured hope of her task. The foolish part of her believed no one had seen her enter the Crossroads but the thought offered little comfort. Soon enough her absence would be noted and more than likely, she would be followed. She hoped she had enough time to reach her goal but she still had a long way to go. She untied the bundle from around her neck only to retie it more tightly before she moved off again in to the wilderness.

Page 17 -

"A productive abomination appears to be a lost concept in this world. Thorough research continues to yield little – much of the findings focused purely on the complete loss of control. It seems few are capable of much more. The vast majority of writings focus purely on the idea of 'prevention' and little beyond. Much is inaccurate, unsurprising given that it is based on little tangible evidence. Case studies typically take the form of retrospection on a defeated individual – useless in no uncertain terms. No writing I have found details a more relevant first-person perspective. They exist – the allegedly true story of our once ally's associate, Anders, is evidence of that. Thus far he is the only true case study I have and far from a positive one. Even if I am to presume that he was made fallible by Circle tutelage, it remains a cautionary tale of how vastly different this once simple relationship has become."

Solas stepped through the Eluvian already overwhelmed by desperation. He had to find her, explain, make this right again.

"Ellana!"

His shout echoed off the cliffs in to nothing. She was gone from their quarters; gone from the tower; gone from the camps; gone from him. Emmaera's crib lay empty and held not by her grandmother either, she appeared gone from him as well. Without them, there was nothing to hold him back. He strode out beyond the faces of stone to meet yet more emptiness. A snarl permeated the silence.

"Where is she?!" he shouted up at the dragon perched upon the rocks.

The beast's roar shook the earth; wings unfurled, ready to deny him but he advanced onward with all his irrepressible fury.

"Show me where she is!"

He hurled a sphere of whatever magic came to him, only for it to be rendered useless by a stream of her overpowering fire. His hands were shaking; he could feel it and he did not need to gaze upon them to know that they were blackening as he lost control. It took every shred of his effort to keep from killing the beast outright. Not that she seemed to appreciate it.

"Only you can see her! Show me!"

The dragon did not take heed, finding her escape on powerful wings. The rocks shook beneath yet another roar.

"Do not run away from me!" he yelled.

He readied another spell, aiming to bring her crashing to him if need be but she acted first. Flames whipped past him; cut through by the barrier made at the end of an outstretched hand. In the centre of it all he remained unharmed, barely pausing from the insignificant effort but she had already fled in to the untouchable sky. He damned himself, a nearby rock shattering as the intrusive voice in the back of his mind reiterated that he could have torn the crystal from her hide if he had been willing.

He stalked out of the Eluvian and back through the camps. The air sparked around him, fracturing periodically to reveal the tendrils of shadow that followed in his wake. Many bore witness but none did he hazard a care. He stormed through the tower door never once pausing in his gait. Faces met him - a gathering of those who may have information. Varden made to say something but did not get beyond a stuttered sound.

"Where is she?!" Solas roared, just managing to stop short of putting hands on Lis.

The shocked faces of many he knew watched in horror but he only had notice enough for one.

"Where is she," he repeated, quieter this time but with significantly more threat.

"I…I don't know!" Lis stammered as her wide eyes flickered across his features. "She…she… We haven't seen her!"

It may just have been her fear making her appear disingenuous but Solas was not convinced. He raised a hand to her, moving closer.

"She has left to seek answers."

The voice broke him from fixation. He studied the faces seeking the source, growing dangerously impatient with each one passed over.

"She will return."

His gaze finally fell on Mirwen. He advanced on her, not offering her the courtesy of restraint.

"Where is she," he growled, black-veined hand to her throat.

The Keeper simply smiled. "You ask a question and yet you restrict my speech. Foolish, Solas," she said, speaking his true name as clearly as she could.

It was enough to give him pause, snap him from the coils of raw emotion and he released her. As the cloud across his mind lessened, a rationality he had forgotten he was capable of returned.

"She left through the Crossroads," the Keeper finally said. "You will not find her but…" She paused, rubbing a hand across her neck. "They will return."

Without another word, he cut through the crowd of onlookers to the path she must have taken.

As soon as he opened the door, he saw the paper laid in front of the mirror. He struggled to read, emotions still dampening any kind of real thought but with a moment's hard focus, he brought it back from the abyss.

"I have not abandoned you. Do not come after me. I still love you."

Page 42 -

"I attended the lake alone once again. Mirwen would likely disapprove but the act is considerably easier without her presence. After the accuracy of a third image – the prediction of Liahra's passing, I had not expected another so soon but I cannot deny the Eye and all it likely means. Perhaps through force of habit or genuine understanding, the images become easier to interpret. If they are right once again then Dhaveira will blind the Watchful Eye and fuel our victory."

The sight of the road was something of a relief for Ellana. She had knowledge of the main routes throughout Thedas but lacked the memory to know the majority in any detail. Blessedly, she had already determined which Eluvian brought her closest to her goal; the desire to reach it a consideration she had held for some time. She crouched down, obscured by a nearby bush at the edge of the roadway. With a quick rummage, she pulled free from her breast a collection of papers and shuffled until she reached the last. Even in the haste with which she had left, she managed to draw a quick map of her route; particular attention paid to the main road. She studied it, choosing her best option. Walking the road guaranteed she would not lose her way and likely would be the faster. The forest would keep her hidden. A disgruntled cry sounded from the bundle around her chest.

"Hush…hush now," Ellana murmured, hand reaching inside as if by routine. "Don't cry my little one."

Glistening with the beginnings of tears, Emmaera's pale eyes closed and she cooed beneath her mother's touch.

Ellana gazed down at the map one final time and nodded, decision made. She folded it up along with the others and returned it to her clothing.

"Dada?"

Ellana came to an abrupt halt. She closed her eyes, breath catching in her throat. "No, da'len… No." She rose to her feet and with a check in either direction, broke free of her cover. "We have someone else to see first." She smiled down on her daughter as she pulled her hood over her head. "Then we take care of Daddy."

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"Seldom do I enjoy battle and this was much in the same. Watching our victory unfold as the image predicted was boundlessly gratifying but I am left with the knowledge that I remain sorely lacking. Mythal's gift bestowed much but not nearly enough. If the Inquisition held the strength to show me that then I fear I am in need of significantly more power to delve beyond the avenues in which we currently exist. Certainly to protect my family."

…

Page 3 -

"To understand successful abominations one must first consider intent. It was commonplace, so much so that even the relatively weak thought nothing of a momentary binding. Whether through a shared purpose or a simple bond over a particular virtue, it was mutually beneficial. The problem came when the intent changed. Power was a side effect but too easily, it became the intent and that was what led to corruption. The risk always existed; individuals who fell were a natural fact but one that was dealt with. The Evanuris were the first real change in the natural order. As their power grew, each of their individual purposes became warped in to something far beyond the original intent. Each one sought to outdo the rest; covet power for each warped purpose until they killed one of their own. In the end, it was power that felled Elvhenan; or at least, stripping them of it."

The road certainly made for easier travel but Ellana was on edge. Her eyes darted and her head turned back with regularity. She did not know what she was expecting - her enemies hardly likely to emerge from the shadows the second she broke cover. It was far more probable anyone she saw would at worst be a simple watchman, someone that did not even warrant thought but that never entered her mind. She had grown so unused to any sort of normal life that she no longer knew how she should act.

Further onward, a sound behind brought her careening back in to the bushes. A horse-drawn cart accompanied by a set of trailing feet passed by her before the sound of faster feet followed. They came to a stop a few paces from her hiding place.

"We stopped only a short while ago! You said you were fine!" declared a woman's voice, the source of the second pair of feet.

"Mama, I need to!"

Ellana shifted her weight, ducking some obstructive branches to see a human woman carefully lowering her child to the ground. For the first time she thought to reflect that her panic may have been premature.

The woman gazed up the road, rather disgruntled. "Jacob!" Sounds ahead and then the cart came to a gradual halt. "Aiden needs to stop!"

The sound of the first feet returning.

"Mama, look at the pretty flowers!" the little boy cried out in excitement, making Ellana jump at the sudden volume.

"I see them," the woman replied as the first feet finally arrived. "I told you we should have made him go when we stopped," the woman muttered to the man. "But do you ever listen?"

In spite of herself, Ellana smiled as she shifted her weight to better see the little boy. In his mother's distraction, he had wandered over to gaze in wonder at the flowers. The sight made her think of her daughter in a few years.

"Mama, look!" the boy called out.

Deep in conversation, the woman appeared oblivious. Emmaera wriggled against Ellana's chest.

The boy ambled ever closer to her hiding place. "Mama! Come on!"

"Ma…ma…"

Ellana's eyes snapped down to the baby at her chest.

"Ma…ma…"

The boy's eyes had widened, gawping in her direction; drawing closer.

"Mama! There's something…"

Ellana did her absolute best to shush Emmaera but the damage was already done.

"Mama! There's a person in that bush!"

Page 31 -

"There once was a time when I fully accepted Ellana's inevitable death. I had left her to her life and I hoped that she would live it well until that day came. I never wanted to hurt her but her loss seemed a suitable sacrifice. She would be gone, none the wiser and only I would suffer from it; penance for my mistakes. Our time together would only worsen my suffering but not change the fact. A suitable sacrifice to give her what she wanted or at least, I thought. I still tried to find a way, selfishly, to end my suffering but I fell declaring an impossible task. That changed the moment our child came in to being. I cannot sacrifice her, nor will I. The suffering I deserve no longer factors in to it. I intend to keep my word, cost be damned."

Ellana's impulse was to run but that would only beg more questions. The last thing she needed was for this family to report a mysterious running stranger to a guard further down the road. She rose as the woman approached, careful to keep Emmaera hidden from sight until she could be sure.

"Aiden! Come here!" the woman yelled, panicked as she grabbed at her son.

Ellana did all she could to appear small. "Apologies, I… I did not know who you were and I feared bandits." Emmaera chose this moment to squeal loudly and both woman and child started. "I…I hoped you might pass by and we would go unnoticed."

What she presumed to be the woman's husband had come to her side, clutching at her in protective fear. Ellana very deliberately brought a hand to calm Emmaera, revealing glimpses of her within the cloth.

"I am sorry if I startled you."

The woman's eyes softened as she stared at the bundle across Ellana's waist but the boy's remained eagerly curious.

"Look, Mama! Look at her ears! So pointy!"

"Aiden!" the woman hissed with a tug to her child. "Don't be so rude!" Her husband held on to her insistently but she ignored him, taking a few steps closer to Ellana. "I can't imagine travelling alone with such a little one…you must have been so afraid."

Ellana resisted the urge to laugh at that statement. "It has been a long journey," she said with a nod. "And I fear we have further yet to go."

The woman's look brightened. "Where are you headed? Perhaps we could take you a distance?"

"Oh," Ellana uttered, taken aback for a brief moment. "I…well…Kirkwall but I don't know if…"

The woman hazarded another couple of steps in her direction. "I am Sarah; this is my husband, Jacob and our son, Aiden. We are a simple family travelling with goods for the nearby farms. The roads can be dangerous and I…"

The man came forward to clutch at her again. "Sarah, no… We don't know her, she could be anyone."

"So we leave her here? With a baby?" the woman interrupted, turning back to him with defiance. "Do you want that thought on your conscience? What if it were me?" She turned back to Ellana. "Please, it would ease my mind. I will worry what happened to you."

Her gaze was so warm, so genuine that Ellana could not help but consider it. She stared down at her daughter, deep in thought for a long moment.

"Alright," she finally said. "But I have no wish to trouble you and it would only be for some of the distance."

The woman did little to hide her jubilation but Ellana was cautiously watching her son. He still stared at her with that childlike curiosity. Before she could say another word, she was bustled off in the direction of the cart all the while followed by the happy nattering of her new protector. She insisted Ellana ride in the cart to catch her breath and for a spell, they left her to her own devices. As they took their child off in to the woods to attend to his need, Ellana could still hear them arguing. She leaned back against the nearest crate with a sigh. She did not know if this choice would afford her any speed but she could not deny that she did actually feel safer. Her hand slowly stroked Emmaera's hair as she waited an uncomfortably long amount of time. In all her fear and turmoil, she had not realised quite how tired she was and in spite of all her reservations, her eyes slowly closed. She snapped them open the second she realised what she was doing. She may be exhausted but she knew exactly where sleep would get her. She fought tooth and nail against the urge until her companions returned; even for a time after the cart had moved off but she was bound to fail. Her last thought before she did was of Solas.

Page 44 –

"The lake showed me much last night. It pains me to relive it and were it not for the need to record, I would cast it from my mind. I watched my daughter die within the depths. The fire and the madness of the new world took her and all I could do was watch. I thought I could protect them, I tried but nothing I did could save them. They died screaming for me and there was nothing I could do."

"I must stay conscious."

Solas repeated his mantra over and over but every moment he spent hurtling through the Fade negated his words. Disappointment tailed him wherever he went and his screaming mind had never been louder. He had known it was a long shot; unlikely as it was that she would be wasting her freedom in sleep. It was not until his search came to a grinding halt that he felt her echo across the Fade. For him, it was like a siren song – drawing him as it had done even in the moments he tried desperately to resist. She alone held the ability to render him powerless.

Page 46 –

"They cried out still from beyond the Veil. It was painful to hear it, a constant reminder of my mistake but I am loathe to admit that it did seem to lessen. My family gave me that and the simple life that we led in the image. To see what it could be if I abandoned my duty, everything I had imagined in my darkest moments and more, was indescribable but it did not matter. Even when I did finally let go of all my regret, the result staring back at me was still their blood."

Solas found her with a mind in visible disarray. One moment a cycle of memories played – she danced with him in Orlesian attire; she kissed him for the first time; she took his hand as he held her on a cold morning; she ducked away with glistening eyes as he sang to his newborn daughter. The next moment there was nothing but the barren Fade in which she stood. It was remarkable. She held no magic and yet, the Fade bowed in part to her will. She wanted something and unable to bring it forth as he could, the Fade halted momentarily – rendered stalled by her will. He considered leaving her. It had not entered his mind until this moment, the desire to rage and just find them too strong to ignore. It was not until the cycle repeated once more and he saw the image of his daughter that the consideration left him. It was Ellana's choice what she did with herself but the second she chose to take their daughter too, she forfeited his understanding.

"Ellana," he said, crushing the memories with his power. She turned back to him, blank. "Where are you?" Her eyes flickered open and shut. "Where are you?" He reached out a hand to touch her shoulder.

Recognition dawned and she recoiled away before he felt her warmth. "Don't touch me!"

Her voice reverberated across the Fade. His expression crumpled only to return.

"Where are you? Tell me now!" His voice shook with either anger or injury, he knew not which. "You took Maera beyond, with only you to protect her. How could you be so thoughtless! What if you had been attacked or worse, found by our enemies?!"

"And what was I supposed to do?" Ellana sneered, maintaining her distance. "I could not leave her alone with you."

The blue of his gaze flashed with hurt. "I would never…"

"Hurt us?" she finished for him. "Only you did. Need I remind you of what you did to me the last time we met in the Fade, Wolf?" She spoke his new title with such resentment that it cut through him like a knife. "Or is it just her? After all, killing me had always been a part of the plan, had it not? 'A suitable sacrifice'- were they not your words?"

As if she had called it forth from the abyss, the Fade fractured as shadow forced in to being.

"Not just her…" he uttered, hands clutched to his head as the blackness tore at his sense. "I did this for you both!"

Dark tendrils whipped around him, almost consuming and he cried out. She reached out to him but he shirked away.

"Oh my love," she breathed; hand outstretched, eyes pleading. "What have you done…"

The air calmed, leaving only remnants of the darkness to mar his skin as they too slowly faded.

Something inside of her grey eyes broke as she stared at him. "I did not see it… In the real world it bubbles just beneath the surface…I…couldn't… Here, I can see what you have become." A hand travelled to her face, trying in vain to hide her rapidly creasing features. "That thing, that monster that stalks me in my dreams…it is not the man I love but it may as well be. He has taken you here, in the world where you once felt at home… How long until he takes you from my world as well?"

He met her imploring gaze with one of desperation as he tried to near her. "I will not allow it! Trust in me, vhenan! You cannot understand…I… I made a promise to you. I gave you my word that I would…"

"Don't!" With sudden speed, she closed the distance between them – her anger overcoming her restraint but just as suddenly, she stilled; eyes closed in pain. "I would rather not be reminded…" Her voice broke. "…given what you have done to yourself as a result."

His brow wrinkled as regret flooded the waters of his gaze. "It is not your fault; it was my choice and I chose it gladly. I…"

"Stop. I am not interested in your attempts at appeasement. It is done and no matter what I may think…there is nothing I can do to change that now." Her cold grey eyes flashed in his direction. "It is too late, you said so yourself."

He reached out to her. "You don't understand…you cannot. Come home, vhenan. Come home and I will tell you anything you need; I will…show you… Please."

"You are bound to a demon! That is the fact of this – I don't care about technicalities! I don't care why…I…" She shook her head. "There is nothing you can say…nothing you can…" Her blankness fractured and her voice wavered, "An abomination twice over…"

He shook his head frantically, willing the thoughts away. "There was nothing else I could do; I had no other option…I…I had to do something…" He fell in to silence before he took her roughly by the shoulders. "You said that you never doubted I was myself – do you doubt that now?"

As she gazed in to his desperate eyes, her expression softened. "No… You are you...but…" She trailed off, eyes darkening. "I cannot ignore the moments where I now know you were losing yourself. You may not want to believe it but he will try and take you…"

"If you understood… I can control this, I..." He paused in doubt but whatever doubt he may have had left him. "He may try but he will not succeed"

"No he will not," Ellana added with found strength. "I will not let that happen. I will not! That is why I cannot let you stop me; why I cannot come home. I will not let it happen, Solas."

He shook his head, fearing the loss of the quiet she brought. "No… Please reconsider. It is not…"

"Wake me, Solas. I will return to you but you must wake me."

He shook his head yet again. "I cannot do that, vhe…"

"Wake me so I can keep our daughter safe," she interrupted, nothing but resolute.

The implication of her words gave him pause. He gazed down at the ground.

"Wake me," she said, lightly pressed fingers to his skin compelling his eyes to her own. "And know that I have not given up on you."

He stared in to her eyes.

"Wake."

Page 28 -

"The labyrinth was the first indication of the depths of my mistake. In honesty, I had expected at least an attempt but this was far beyond anything I had anticipated. I have encountered innumerable demons of strength, after all such existed that could turn the Evanuris. They chose their corruption; they did submit at least to some degree. I did not submit and I was rewarded with the labyrinth. Power unlike anything I have directly experienced. It was as if the Fade had twisted; turned to something I no longer recognised, could no longer manipulate. Confusion and fear were my only companions in that place and no matter where I ran, escape seemed impossible. If it had not been for Ellana then I cannot be certain I would not remain there. Perhaps that was why it was caged; even without his corruption, Elgar'nan seldom abided power that could threaten his own."

…

Page 71 -

Never in all of my ponderings did I anticipate that the Labyrinth was merely a show of strength. To understand restraint, one must first know of what the other is capable. I could have been held there, perhaps indefinitely, but I was not. He showed me what he could do to highlight the fact that he is not. But does that exclude any risk? Either way, I am left with few answers and all the more questions. The truth of the matter is that risk exists for both parties. He could hold me but were he to attempt and fail – his end would be far greater than my own. I fear there is only one way of knowing."

Nestled against a crate, Ellana sat re-reading her notes. She had awoken to the eyes of two of her rescuers and judging by the look poorly hidden by the child, her dreaming disturbance was notable. Questions were asked but she brushed them off until they sat in relative silence. The almost rhythmic trundling of the cart beneath her could have been soothing if not for the words she read. She had thought to make two copies of her translation – one for him so he would know and one for her so she could. She had not succeeded in translating it all, not by a long shot but by focusing in on key words, she had taken all she needed from the original. Reading it back, she saw the reasoning; understood why he had done what he had but never would she have condoned it. Desperation had led him to a trap and like any other, desperation pushed him straight in to it. The worst part was his desperation had a name and it was Emmaera. Ellana could not imagine the sight of their daughter's death even once, let alone the many he had suffered. She understood at least in that respect. Every inch of logic within told her that he would fail but what little hope remained, begged to be wrong. He had made so many mistakes, almost destroyed the world twice; the thought that he could do it once again all in the name of their daughter was too much to accept. Her mind kept wandering to what she could do as she stared at the pages, not really reading. Premature in sentiment, she closed her eyes as she tried to pull her thoughts from futile rumination.

"So what draws you to Kirkwall?"

Ellana opened her eyes to the sound of the woman's voice. It had been an hour or so following her waking and she had exchanged some discussion with Sarah but little of consequence. She seemed curious, understandable given how they had met but not something Ellana felt fit to deal with. False pleasantries she could handle but any protracted discussion and the deceptive skill needed for that was beyond her.

"A friend," Ellana replied, a hand going almost instinctually to her daughter for solace.

The woman nodded encouragingly. "Do you have many friends in Kirkwall?" Her tone rang of doubt and as if noticing this herself, she went on, "I only meant…elves nowadays are becoming few and far between. Must have been weeks since we saw our last…" She paused as if awaiting a response but received nothing. "We've only heard rumours out here in the Free Marches, you hear a lot on the road but…"

"Rumours?" Ellana interrupted, trying not to seem too interested.

She looked almost surprised. "About the elven rebellion." She nodded firmly in the direction of her son. "About time if you ask me. We have always tried to teach Aiden that it doesn't matter what someone looks like but he sees the way other people act… I wouldn't know but it…it just seems absurd to me that a person can be mistreated all because of their image! Not their beliefs or who they are as a person!" Surprisingly impassioned, Sarah caught herself mid-stride and quieted. She glanced somewhat furtively at Ellana before she sighed. "It is…just…rather absurd…"

Ellana remained silent for a long moment. "You are one of the few," she said with a smile. "But you're right – a person may be judged for their words and their actions but not for their birth." She gazed down on her daughter.

Sarah shuffled closer. "How old is she?" She smiled as the baby thought to look up at her. "She has your eyes."

Ellana's smile deepened. "A few months off a year, actually." The idea surprised even her as she gently rocked the little one in her arms. "And getting bigger by the day."

Sarah laughed. "So she will be." She turned back to her own sleeping child. "One day you'll look at her and wonder where the time went. Just the other day Jacob was talking about teaching our boy the trade. Imagine that! Not long ago he was a babe like yours and now we're preparing him for being a man." She reached out and touched a hand to her son's cheek. "A man just like his Dad."

Emmaera shrieked loudly. "Dada!"

Ellana did what she could to soothe her and still the noise for the sleeping boy's sake.

Sarah considered her carefully. "Is her father no longer with you?"

Ellana shook her head. "Not for now but…he'll be waiting."

"He must be so proud to have such a beautiful daughter."

Ellana's lip curled. "Much too proud."

Page 59 -

"The lake again and left shaken once more. Even if I abandon hope, try to make something of this world, the result is the same. I count nineteen times I have seen my daughter die - six different circumstances, seldom alone. I cannot take much more of this."

Solas's eyes opened slowly.

Shivra's voice echoed out before he could even move, "So where is she?"

She sat cross-legged at his side but was not alone. Immediately behind her stood Varden whilst Lis floated even further behind. Solas had not thought to expect that anyone would follow him in to the Crossroads and the sight now was hardly consoling. He sat up with a groan, the cold stone floor having offered a poor surface for sleep.

"I do not know."

Shivra stared at him, lip twitching as it threatened to curl. "You don't know? As in you couldn't find her or you couldn't get it out of her?"

Elbows to his knees; he placed his head in his hands as he forced down the overwhelming urge to just scream. "I found her."

"So couldn't get it out of her?" the girl parroted.

Motionless, Solas said nothing.

Lis came forward, bobbing in nerves. "But what did she say?" With a glare as her only reply, she broke her eyes from him. "I mean…is she coming back?"

He turned back to his misery. "Allegedly."

A long silence passed.

"You're not going after her?" Shivra finally piped up.

"Can't. She could be anywhere," he replied, staring out between his fingers at nothing.

Shivra raised an eyebrow. "And when has that stopped you?"

He lay back down on the ground with a thud, hands still covering much of his contorted face. "I would like to be alone."

The sound of scuffing feet suggested someone, at least, was heeding his request.

"So you're giving up? Just like that?" Shivra started, indignation rising in her voice.

"That I am."

A nearer scuffling indicated Shivra was moving, likely in further indignation but it sounded as if Varden put a stop to it.

"Not now," his calm voice simply said.

She rose slowly to her feet, cursing under her breath. The final set of feet was following them out but stopped short.

"Has she given up?" Lis asked before she too, left him to the cold stone.

He heard none of it. A voice within his mind spoke on over her but no matter how hard he tried, he could not tell if it was his own.

"Shut. Up," he replied to it, fingers digging hard in to his skull.

Page 63 -

"I cannot describe the desperation I felt that led me to beg of a simple body of water for an answer. And it answered. A female voice; one that sought to guide in her own way. Reminiscent of 'the Matchmaker' as I called her – gently guiding those that she touched to a positive resolution but this time, with far greater effect than mere love."

…

"They walked by my side upon a crystal spire. Seeing Emmaera grown was beyond anything I had come to expect and the hope it brought, more so. I could not see how such a thing could be achieved but its very existence has already given me so much. The spirit of the lake showed me because I asked, because I sought resolution. She said she could show me more if I kept asking."

Sarah asked many questions but even with their differences, Ellana knew it came from a place of innocence. The woman and her family meant no harm and, surprising even herself, Ellana did little to obstruct them. They served as a reminder, not only of her own family that she struggled to save but of innocence in general. No matter the race, there were those that wished simply to live and knew nothing more beyond that. They may live in a manner that preserved long held persecutions but they did not choose that path. They could change so easily if allowed a chance.

They talked for some time as the cart trundled on, focus largely on their children. It was fascinating to hear of a child more grown and form expectations of her own but it did little to still her troubled mind. Try as she might, she could not rid herself of the thought that any expectation she made would be just so empty without Solas. While it was true that the family differed markedly from her own, she still saw the comparisons. Sarah and her husband were traders, nomads who seldom knew with any clarity what each day would bring. It was heartening to hear a family could blossom so well in such an environment, even if it was a much calmer version of Ellana's own experience. Regardless of her growing fondness for these relative strangers, she chose to leave them when they came to a stop at a farm on the outskirts of Kirkwall. The family had offered to take her all the way but Ellana wanted to press on. To wait would only allow more time for them to be noticed and for Solas to follow.

Page 66 -

"The lake again, the image I need at long last! Power – raw unequivocal power and the knowledge I need in one being. It bore no symbolic form and so I could see that the subject of the image was the demon that attempted to possess me within the dragon's lair. The spirit of the lake said the demon and I share a common purpose and while I find that difficult to believe, I will not abandon such promise without fully exploring it. So long it has been in search of an answer, to have one now, even with doubt, is a relief. I will search the Fade and find him once again in the hope that my doubts can be extinguished."

Kirkwall was a city of stone and salt air. Even with the ocean stretching out beyond, Ellana felt nothing but uncomfortable. She was unused to cities and the claustrophobic feeling of buildings rising on all sides. Time spent talking with one companion in particular, she had heard much about Kirkwall. She could not say from her own experience but the years must have been kind. She knew it as a 'city of chains' with a terrible history; a rough place, a place one would think twice to walk at night but not any longer. It seemed the new Viscount had earned every bit of his title.

Ellana instinctually kept to the shadows, not knowing quite where she was going. She knew of the Viscount's tower but just as well, she knew this Viscount would never think to live on high. He would be down here, in amongst his people and it was those people that she hoped would lead her to him. She kept on - passing through the streets and not stopping in her path unless knowledge could be overheard. Through the lower streets, only her mind paused at the sight of what was undoubtedly a brothel. The memories of her night spent in one such establishment still cut as they surfaced and distracted her briefly from her task. No matter where she went, there were guards; some caught in conversation as they patrolled. She hid nearby a pair, listening intently until her wandering gaze spied a tree peeking out above stone walls. There had been a gate once, barring entry through. Evidence of the segregation still marred the very edges of the walls but opened as it now lay, Ellana could see clearly in to what was the alienage in which her people should reside. Stone buildings, new and pristine surrounded the great heart tree that had known nothing but squalor up until this point. Too long awaited to stem the tide of revolution, the bettered streets stood all but silent. It was a sad sight but even still, it showed the difference one good man could make.

Page 68 -

"I found the demon atop a great mountain. He had carved a domain for himself, growing by the day. The lesser demons led me to him. I had caught his interest enough to warrant the effort, that was my only comfort in amongst the well-earnt fear. He spoke of much – my world, as he had known it; his incarceration within nothingness; and the Veil, which freed him of his blindness. He spoke of the world he saw – the fall of Elvhenan, the rise of the humans and the loss of all that made the world whole. In so many ways, he mirrored myself but he had known me, taken my very self for a matter of moments. I could not trust that it was not just a mere mirror."

Shadow granted Ellana what she needed. An exchange between guards - a disclosure of their next shift was all it took. She followed a distance as the guard led her toward her goal. The area was certainly pleasant, the home more comfortable than he was probably used to but she still imagined he kept it his own. At least, when he was not frequenting the local drinking establishment. She ducked down beneath a window, conversation between the changing guards concealing the sound of her movements. She was in and through the window long before the words had ended.

The house was deserted. A fire burned in the hearth awaiting the homeowner's return but little else stirred in the darkness. Pessimistically she had considered there may be guards within or at least servants but she saw none as she made her way through the halls. Even when Emmaera thought to sound a sleeping cry, nothing replied. She had been willing to subdue those that may have kept her from her destination but the absence of any threat was an undoubted relief. Every so often, she ducked inside a doorway and her eyes darted about the room. All bore his mark but none enough to still her feet until she reached the end of a long corridor and opened her final doorway. Another hearth burning brightly; books everywhere; a comfortable bed, and a heavy wooden desk with everything one would need to write. This one was his room.

Page 74 -

"Again I visited him and again I am left staggered. To hear her laugh ripple across the Fade was a gift in and of itself. I had considered the possibility that she may grow to be free of magic but that fear, it appears, was unfounded. She will be at one with the Fade as I am. Even the lake did not show me that. He offered this knowledge without prompt, without seeming gain. A kind favour but begging yet more questions. His will remains the restoration of one world, one he can walk in its entirety and he claims it is that alone. I can understand the sentiment. He offered a choice – one world or them, and he sensed my indecision. I was the one person who could give him what he wished and even caged, he had seen the destruction my actions alone had dealt. Then he offered a third choice, the one I had been waiting for – everything."

Ellana tried to resist but could not deny the draw of the desk and its contents. She smiled at familiar titles, frowned as her eyes passed over the romantic books Cassandra so coveted. Her gaze halted across a bound stack of papers - title splayed over the top page in amongst crossed out rejects. In spite of herself, she giggled. It seemed that even after all this time, he still held the ability to draw a laugh from her no matter how dark her mood. She turned just as the door opened behind her. Eyes widened by the sight of an intruder, only widened further as she lowered her hood.

"I'm mad enough that you thought to plan a book about me…but the title? 'Elven Glory'? Are you serious?" Ellana remarked with a smile. "Classic."

Words seemed to have abandoned him and for a long moment, he stared.

"Thought you'd like it," Varric finally said.

Varric had always been a funny one. On paper, he and Ellana had nothing in common but even after only their meeting, she knew he could be depended on. In truth, she admired him. He rarely hid; uncompromising in who he was and unapologetic. No expectation would last on his shoulders. He would take suggestion, even argument but in the end, Varric did only what he expected of himself. For a man who spun stories to be such a stark truth in the flesh was ironically fitting. He saw past the bullshit – the title, the expectations and beliefs that everyone else held for Ellana. He never saw her as anything more than she was – a girl forced in to a situation by chance. She was not built to lead the Inquisition, not worthy by a long shot and he was the only one who thought to act as if that was normal. The doubt could have broken her but it turned out to be exactly what she needed. It was okay not to be strong and he did not need her to be.

That was why she knew she could trust him – more than any of her Inquisition colleagues, more than Dorian, more even than Solas. He did not need anything from her and so she could allow herself to be real; the disappointment she thought she was. Anyone else would have judged her for wanting to follow Solas but not Varric. He listened, as she needed; helped her walk away from the Inquisition just as she asked, and gave her the belief she needed even if he knew all along that she would fail.

Page 79 (Final entry) -

"I will not watch her die, not again; neither in prediction nor in truth. I will do what is necessary. Predictions cannot be made, there is no firm basis but I have no other option. If he lies then so be it. I will fight until the end. This night I will go to him and do what I must. This time I will succeed."

Varric had not moved from the doorway. In all his disbelief he seemed incapable of much beyond staring, having done so for an awkward amount of time. At long last, he turned his eyes away from his intruder and shrugged. The gesture suggested he cared little but Ellana could see beyond that to the hurt he was trying to deny.

"It's been years, Doe. Long time since we last spoke… I thought I'd never see you again," he said. "After everything, I…" He paused, struggling. "You promised you'd be in touch; let me know if you found anything. I kept out of contact with the others, just like you asked and then…"

Ellana took a tentative step forward. "I know and I'm sorry. I tried to…" She closed her eyes. "Varric, I tried but I…I just couldn't…"

He laughed mirthlessly, almost reaching out to her but held himself back. "I did warn you, kid. It was never going to be that easy. It's not…" His eyes finally met hers. "You loved him." They shared a brief moment of silent recognition before his eyes suddenly widened. "Is he…is he with you?"

She shook her head. "I'm alone so you can unclench." She sighed. "Doesn't know I'm here, in fact, but if that changes…I'd run if I…"

A cooing sound emanating from within the bundle she held quelled her words. Varric's eyes widened once again as the babbling started. Ellana reached within the fabric.

"Not completely alone, actually," she said, corners of her mouth sliding ever so slightly up. "Sorry, I should have said."

He came forward a few steps. "Is that…" He halted his movement, finding himself once again. "Josie mentioned in one of her letters that he'd knocked you up…a while ago…"

"Well here she is," Ellana interrupted, voice becoming shrill. She moved the fabric aside so he could see her happily squealing daughter.

He edged closer, eager eyes fixed to the child but once again stopped short. "She's real cute, Doe. Real cute…"

He trailed off and awkward silence took them once again. Ellana fidgeted, uncertain.

"Varric, I'm sorry," she started, unable to stand the silence any longer. "After everything you did for me – staying with me for as long as you did; helping me leave Skyhold; just being my friend… I should have been in contact, I should have done…"

"Save it," he interrupted, painfully cold. "Why are you here? That's all I'm interested in."

Open mouthed, hurt, Ellana turned away in shame. "I need your help."

"Well shit, Doe," he scoffed. "Don't know what I expected but it didn't really work out well for me the last time…or anyone else for that matter."

"Don't you think I know that!" Unworthy as she was to feel it, she quashed her anger. "I tried…it may not seem like it but I did what I thought I could…"

"Right… I'm sure that must be real comforting for all the people you've hurt." He shook his head as if shaking his anger loose. "Curly might never be able to fight again but it's fine, cause you 'tried'. I'll make sure to tell him that next time I see him…"

"He's alive?!" Ellana interjected, shame discarded in favour of sudden hope.

His eyes narrowed. "Yeah…just barely at first but recovering well, from what I hear… You didn't know?"

"No," she breathed as she sat down on the bed, head in her hands. "I…I asked Dorian but he's not written back…"

He took a few steps in her direction, smiling to himself. "I'm surprised Chuckles didn't find out for you."

She shook her head, thinking to gaze up at him. "No. He probably could have but…I…better not to ask."

"Ah…trouble in paradise. Who could have guessed?" He sat down next to her. "Shouldn't have gone after him, kid. 'Walk away,' is that not what I told you? 'Otherwise you're just going to end up back in the shit.'"

Ellana smiled weakly. "You were right, if that's any consolation. Probably not…" She turned to him, grey eyes shining in the candle light. "I am sorry, Varric. For going back in the first place; for failing to do what I promised I would; for everything that followed…"

With a gentle hand, he touched her shoulder. "I know you are, Doe, and for the record, I think we both knew you were never going to keep that promise." He turned down to her little one. "You don't think I helped you leave because I honestly thought you would kill him, did you?" She shook her head and he smiled. "I helped you cause you and I both know that if anyone can get him to reconsider, it's you, kid. They can throw soldiers at him, blow things up like humans always do but why bother when there's a pretty Dalish girl who can talk him out of it, right?"

Ellana remained silent as the makeshift barrier that held back her emotions threatened to break.

He reached out a hand to the cooing baby in her arms. "And now he's got a kid." He smiled down on her as tiny hands clutched at his fingers. "A damn cute one. What more does he need?"

Ellana stared down at her child, tears brimming. "It's still not enough." Her voice must have broken because Varric thought to turn his attention to her. She shook her head. "He still wants his world...he wants us too but he won't… Varric, he's…he's done something…something terrible… I fear…I fear…" She could hardly get the words out.

"Doe…what has he done?"

Ellana shook her head, rubbing uselessly at her near streaming eyes. "I need to ask you about Anders. About everything that…happened…to him."

The dwarf at her side rose suddenly to his feet. "You…You can't mean?! Why would you need to know about him?"

In the din of his incredulous tone, Emmaera started to cry.

"It's why I'm here, Varric," Ellana said, loud over her daughter's cries as she tried to quiet her. "I need to know!" She shook her head as the cries lessened. "And you're the only one who can tell me…" Her own tears threatened once again and her voice broke. "I did say it was terrible!"

He sat down at her side, arm to her in consolation. "Aww, Doe…that's…well, shit." He shook his head. "Really shit. I mean, Blondie was bad enough but…what he did was fucking trivial compared to what your boy could…"

"I know," Ellana interrupted with a sigh. "I know…" She turned to him, features screaming desperation. "That's why I need you. Tell me what it was like. I need to know if there's anything…anything I can do."

He let out a note of a laugh. "You probably know how these things end." At the sight of her forlorn expression, his softened and he gazed down at the child in her arms. "Anders was…he was fine at first and in truth, things only got bad towards the end. He used to say it was Justice and when that was true, well…he was just a regular person but there were times it became something else…"

"Vengeance," Ellana interrupted quietly.

Varric nodded. "Yeah. Only happened when he got angry, saw something he didn't like and then he would just lose it. Eyes would glow, voice would go – the whole shebang. He tried to fight it but…I dunno, as it got worse, it's like he lost the will. She was the only one who could get through to him when he got like that…"

"She?" Ellana asked, finally with some hope. "Hawke?"

He nodded once again, a slight smile forming across his gloomy aspect. "Yeah. Took just a few words sometimes, more when it was really bad but even when that thing took over, she could still get through to him." His smile evaporated. "At least…until the end…"

Ellana stared down, eyes fixed to nothing as despair overwhelmed. Varric touched a hand to her.

"That can be you, Doe. Who knows, maybe he won't lose the fight like Anders did? The Fade, spirits, demons – it was his thing, after all. If anyone can make it out, it's him."

Ellana shook her head. "There is no way out. Well…only one." She swallowed hard. "Even now he…he's fighting it like you say and I…I don't know how much longer I can keep pulling him back." She finally met his gaze. "If he loses, he'll destroy more than just a Chantry…"

To Ellana's surprise, he laughed. "First we take down an ancient Tevinter Magister bent on destruction, then one of our friends reveals he's actually an ancient elvhen god bent on similar destruction…here I am thinking it can't get any worse?"

"Wrong," Ellana added with her own laugh.

Varric sighed. "Well, if there's anyone I know who could get us out of this fucked situation, it's you."

Ellana seriously doubted that but still, she smiled. Never had she been more delighted to hear herself included in the use of the word 'us'.

They had talked for what seemed like hours but for the first time since she had read Solas's damned journal, Ellana felt strong.

"I have to try, Varric, but…if I fail…if he loses himself…"

"Then you won't have to pick up the pieces alone," he interrupted, coldness from before entirely absent with baby bouncing on his knee. "There are people who still care for you; knew who you were all along and…well…even the others won't want to just sit around and let him fuck up the world…again…"

She laughed lightly. "Go easy on him. I know he's made mistakes…"

"World-destroying mistakes," Varric interrupted in clarification.

"With all I've done, we're practically made for each other," she said with a sigh. "But…" She sighed again. "All I can do is try."

"What do you want me to do about the others? They probably would be better off knowing…"

"But then they'll know everything," Ellana added. "You can't tell them without also telling them you helped me leave, Varric, and then they'll know everything – what I intended, how you lied to them for years… If Cassandra doesn't kill you for that, Dorian will."

He laughed. "Yeah, poor Sparkler. He'd hate to think I knew something about you that he didn't."

"He would," Ellana replied with a smile. She took her daughter from him and she cooed quietly in her arms. "He's already had to deal with far too much on my account."

"He would say it was worth it and it's insane but I would say the same," he slowly added, returning her smile with equal warmth.

They shared a moment until a bell heralding dawn's light took both of their attention.

"I…I should be going," Ellana finally said. "Solas is…he's waiting for me …I hope…"

Ellana got to her feet, gently tucking her little one away in the folds around her waist.

"Doe, wait…there was something I wanted to ask you…"

Ellana stopped her progress to the door and turned partially back.

"Heard you've been setting your sights on Tevinter," he said with a hint of a self-satisfied smile. "Bad idea…real bad idea."

"You have heard?" Ellana interjected, likely just as he wanted. "Don't tell me you have sources, Master Tethras! Who could imagine such a thing from an innocent Viscount such as you…"

He raised an eyebrow. "Ha. Hilarious as always." He shook his head slightly. "Not spies, somehow I doubt a dwarf would fit in amongst your elf folk… Stumbled on it more like." The self-satisfied smile formed fully. "Your boy is trying to meet with an old friend of mine and he thought I might be interested. Not up for a meeting, by the way, you're barking up the wrong tree with that one."

Ellana came over, brow furrowed. "An old friend? How is that…?" And then it dawned. "The elf you talked about; the former slave with those bizarre sounding markings; the perpetually brooding one…"

"Fenris. Yeah, that's the one. Never going to get him to agree to work with a super-mage like your boy, dislikes the regular ones enough."

Taken aback to the point of stalling, it took Ellana a while to take in what he had said. "He won't? At all?" Her eyes narrowed. "Because of something you said?"

"Well, I told him what was going on…had to," Varric replied, surprisingly defensive. "Couldn't leave him to go in blind."

Ellana's palm met her forehead and she sighed.

"I thought that was what you would have wanted? More progress he makes, closer we all get to him destroying everything…again."

Ellana ignored the jibe. "No, Varric…no… Even if your friend refuses, he'll just find someone else or…tear apart Tevinter himself…" Judging by the look in Varric's eyes, he shared her sentiment of how bad that would be. "Nothing like that will stop him, especially not now." She stood in thought for a long moment. "Better…better to give him what he wants…and this Fenris, he would get what he wants too - the slaves would be freed and Tevinter crippled…and then…then we would have another ally…if…if…we needed it…" Her voice cracked with even the suggestion.

Varric rose to her. "I'm sorry, Doe…I…"

"Would he listen to you?" Ellana went on, ignoring his attempts to comfort. "If he could even just meet with us…maybe I could make something work…"

"I can certainly try." He shook his head. "Maybe if I bring you into it, say what you're about… I'll think of something. Still might have a fight on your hands but, I'll think of something."

"Thank you, Varric…thank you." She turned finally to leave. "If it helps, tell him it's going to happen either way or I don't know…"

"Has to, to keep me updated?" Varric finished for her.

She smiled warmly back at him. "Has to."

His eyes lingered on her before he shook his head once more. "Promise me something, alright? Promise that if he does meet you, you'll keep anything from happening to him." He hesitated, no doubt registering the reservation in her eyes. "You'll at least try?"

"That I can promise," Ellana replied with a resolute nod. "Least I can do after…after everything…"

Their eyes lingered on one another, both uncertain if this would be the last time they had a chance.

"Take care of yourself, Doe." He reached out a hand to the bundle she held, smiling with remorse. "and wee Em too."

Unable to bear the weight of another goodbye, Ellana made for the door only to turn back before she could pass through. "Thank you, Varric…for everything."

Solas lay still on the cold stone. Any understanding of time had been lost to him and surrounded by the unreal atmosphere of the Crossroads, there was no indication to suggest how many hours he had waited. He had lain in fear. Fear that something might happen to them; fear they would never return; fear that once again by trying to save it, he had destroyed the one thing that mattered most to him. So clouded by the voice whispering across his mind, he drifted perpetually in to sleep. Even now, he knew not if he were awake or dreaming. Neither place was quiet. Sounds no longer entered his consciousness; even the sound of an Eluvian bursting in to life was not enough to provoke movement. Over the hours, he had heard that sound so many times and it had always been his imagination. He had lost hope that he would ever hear it for real. A weight descended on him out of nowhere, rising slowly up to rest on his chest. It was warm, calming, much needed in the state he was in. A small touch traced a line across his cheek and uncertain if it were a dream, he reached up to it, only to clasp a hand in his own. His eyes snapped open. For the first time, he truly felt the weight - her weight - lain atop him. He heard the sound of her breathing, rhythmic with his own and their daughter babbling nonsense at her mother's chest. He stared down at both of their silver hair in disbelief, screaming mind silenced to nothing.

"Vhenan," he breathed, hoarse from the angry cries of hours lost.

She turned up to him, grey eyes shimmering with brilliance as they always did.

Her hand once again found his cheek. "Oh my love…" Her words broke with the effort.

"I am sorry… I can't…I can't…" Tears welled in his eyes. "I thought I would have to do this alone…"

She turned herself fully toward him, inciting a gentle squeal from the child as she did. "Never. You are mine and I am yours," she said with such certainty. "We will fight this, Solas, together."

He held her tight in his arms as a single tear broke free.

It was Ellana's turn to be the strong one. For too long she had wondered, wished desperately to know all he planned and now she did. She knew what she had to do. He was going to fracture, lose parts of himself day by day. Some he could reclaim before they fell, more with her help but there may come a time where too little remained and then he would be gone. That was how Varric had described it. She existed now to keep that from happening, to stand with him for however long time allowed but she held no delusions of grandeur. She was the only thing that brought him quiet but she knew in her heart that it was not enough. It was too late.

They had talked for a long time. She focused on understanding the facts rather than poking holes in his logic - that would aid no one. It was exceedingly difficult at times but for him, she persevered. Solas was usually so pragmatic but in this, all thought had abandoned him. Before their daughter had even been born, he had written the first section of his journal – an unrelated traversal in to the impossibility of a functional abomination in these modern times. With the rest, it was almost ironic. He had inadvertently written out a compendium of all the reasons he would fail along with the gaps in his knowledge and then ignored every last one of them. She found herself coldly wondering if that was how he had approached creating the Veil. So much was making sense and that hurt her the most - the fact that she had missed it. He had been frank with her so she knew that he had been this way since shortly before finding her mother. Even thinking on that trip alone and the power he had displayed far beyond what she had seen of him, she felt she should have known. Mirwen had known all along, that thought plagued her throughout. More than that, the Keeper saw this as necessary; she had to.

Ellana waited until he had fallen asleep in her arms before rising. It was morning, the sun already making shadows across their bedroom but she saw no reason to deny him the sleep he so clearly needed. Every time her skin had brushed against the crystal set in her arm, she had heard the dragon's cries. Dhaveira was the only one who knew what she was truly feeling, the only one who saw behind the walls she had built. Desperation grew with every whine, as if she knew she could never physically reach her. It was Ellana who chose to bridge the gap as she passed through the Eluvian and out in to the valley, needing her friend just as much. Finally, she allowed herself to fall in to pieces and wept in to Dhaveira's warmth. She was nothing, a tiny entity against the great ivory hide and yet, the beast curled around her and whined; still, as she knew she needed. The dragon had known all along as well – desperately trying to protect her from the monster she had wanted so badly to keep caged. Even a dragon had outdone her. Ellana willed herself back in to control. She brushed her cheek against the smooth scales as another whine emanated.

"We're going to lose him, da'len. That is what she meant." She turned herself so her back rested against the beast just as the sound of footsteps against stone entered her awareness. Cold grey eyes stared up at Mirwen. "I promised I would help him but…I can't, can I?" She allowed no answer. "Before me, he had nothing beyond his purpose but now…he has so much to fear, so much to lose and it will destroy him. I should never have come back, I…I doomed him…"

The Keeper shook her head. "You changed him, just as you intended. You made this about so much more than his failure…"

"By pushing him to make another?" Ellana exclaimed joined by a shriek from her dragon.

"That was his choice, not yours but many you have made brought us to this point…"

"Yes, just as you hoped…or saw…" Ellana rose to her feet, advancing on the Keeper. "You were never one to offer answers…you made me find them. So tell me…tell me…" She stopped well within Mirwen's personal space. "Long have I asked myself why you are here…why you wanted me here. 'It had to be me', right?" Ellana shook her head as her expression crumpled beneath the weight of her emotion. "And what have I…done…?" The Keeper said nothing. "I thought you believed I could convince him, turn him from his task…but no, this is my contribution. I corrupted him and then our daughter corrupted him further until, in his desperation, he became a fool. That was what you wanted from me."

Mirwen shook her head. "If I wished for him to fail…the world will be no better off in this eventuality. Do not think…"

"I wanted to change the world, make it equal for my people…our people," Ellana interrupted with tears in her eyes. "I thought you wanted that as well… What was it? If not to force failure, what did you see would come of this?"

"I did not see the path, only…fragments. The Fade would allow me so much…and no more…" Mirwen took her by the shoulders. "I saw many ends. So…many…and those with you, they held hope. But you can see only one, as if it were inevitable…"

"You said I would never do what was necessary," Ellana started with yet another shake of her head. "You said I would have no other choice and I know only one way to vanquish an abomination." Resolute eyes met the Keeper's. "But you knew I couldn't do that…you…"

"If you had known what would happen, would you have returned?" Mirwen added, standing firm.

Ellana's eyes widened slightly. "No…no…I would have… I couldn't have…"

"It had to be you." Mirwen smiled weakly. "You, who forced him to confront the truth of this world; see it as not just something of value but real. Once a terrible dream he must fix, changed irreparably to potential. That is what you are, not some outcome – you are hope. Together, you both brought us to this point and where it ends, is up to you."

"Protecting my people is more important, keeping the world whole should always be more important…"

"Heart and mind in contest, only together can you earn clarity. You can protect your people whilst fighting for or against him but first, you must choose if it is worth the fight."

Ellana considered for a long moment. "He always was…and if that fucking demon takes him away from me, I'll drag him back out of the Fade myself if I have to."

A/N - Was the bold on the excerpts kind of overkill? I can never tell in doc manager. It looks like centering has done nothing in there. Meh, as long as it's clear.