XIX.
Axel and I wake up the next morning with no one else in tow, just the two of us—and thousands of people passing straight through us—at the statue of some dog. He sits at the base of the statue, staring up at the sky, a fountain drink at hand as he chews on the straw. I take a seat next to him and he looks to me, half smile on his face.
"You're awake." He announces and I nod.
"Yep. Is it just the two of us?" I ask as he grabs another fountain drink next to him and passes it to me. Something about this gesture warms my heart and I have to fight back a smile of my own. "Thanks."
"Yeah, just the two of us. No Neku or Shiki, though I'm sure it won't be long until we see them. No mission mail yet either, I'm sure one of our new friends will just be dying to drag you shopping." Axel offers me a more playful grin and I roll my eyes.
"Well gee, I didn't know Neku was a shopaholic." I deadpan as Axel snorts a laugh.
"Hey, so about yesterday…" He starts and I want to hide my face in the cup.
"The Noise were crazy." I say, in an attempt to distract him, but it backfires and suddenly, he has his palm against my face, angling me to look at him.
"Are we okay, Rueks?" He asks. My heart twitches, a fledgling rising from its own ashes and I sigh.
"No." I confess. "We're better, but we're not…"
"What the hell do I have to do to prove to you that all I was trying to do was—"
"I want Naminé to alter my memories." I tell him and this leaves him completely silent, gawking at me, still at such close proximity. "I don't think I can forgive this, Axel, not as long as I remember it. But if Naminé goes in and changes things around, makes me remember you telling me the plan from the very beginning, makes me remember choosing, however begrudgingly to help you, remember Sora being okay and all of your promises coming true…I mean, it won't matter if it isn't real, if I feel it, we can get past this."
When he finally speaks, his tone is that of a broken man and for not the first time, I really do wonder if he has a heart.
"Naminé is gone. I let her go, get away from the Organization. I have no idea where she went, and I doubt we could find her if we tried." His hands fall away from my face and he picks his drink back up. "Do you still think about us sitting on the clock tower with Roxas, eating ice cream?"
"All the time. Those are the days I want back, more than anything." I admit.
"And you really think it'll take forgetting everything for you to forgive me? For us to go back to that?" He asks, despite not wanting to, I feel a humorless laugh escape my lips.
"Even if I forgot, we couldn't go back to those days. We were friends, I thought you had a heart, I thought that maybe it could be more." I sigh. "I don't mean to shove anything in your face, really. I already told you, I know you didn't ask to lose your heart and that I know you're doing all you can to get it back, I've gotta stop faulting you for that." But even if I do, can I trust him again? That's the biggest problem. Not forgiving, not forgetting, but trusting.
"I am so sorry, Rueks." He props his elbows on his knees and hides his face in one of his hands, the other still holding the cup. I reach out and squeeze the top of his leg.
"I am too." I whisper.
"Then why can't—" And I truly know that he's asking because he doesn't get it, plain and simple.
"Because I don't trust you anymore." I breathe, clutching my drink as though it is the only thing keeping me hanging on. He doesn't meet my gaze, and all I do is steal glances at him out of the corner of my eye. I want him to wrap me in his arms and swear up and down that he will do everything in his power to right this wrong, but once again, he doesn't know how to comfort me and I am too stubborn to tell him how. If those are our obstacles then we really will never get past them.
"So this is how it ends then, huh?" He asks and my little fledgling heart is snuffed out.
"I think it's ended five or six times at this point." I offer him an ironic smile.
"Yeah, guess we can't say we never saw it coming." He says.
"Shit, we might even crash and burn a few more times. We still have a few more days left here." I remind him. He snorts, suddenly sitting up straight.
"Oh Rueks." He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me in. "We might've crashed and burn, but how bright did we shine?"
How bright indeed. I don't think I'll ever not miss it. And maybe that's why it's so hard to get through this. Maybe after seeing how bright the light can be, I just cannot handle the dark.
And things have gotten so dark.
"Hey! Rueki, Axel!" We draw apart as though our bodies are on fire and if we touch we will incinerate. I stand straight up, rocking on my heels, trying and failing to look inconspicuous. Shiki is running over to us, waving her hand in the air. Neku is behind her, hands in his pockets, taking his sweet time.
"Shiki, Neku!" Axel waves, and then says under his breath "it's every fucking time things start to get good anymore, I swear." I chew on my lip to bite back a smile.
"No mission mail yet, what's up with that?" I ask her and Neku, as she catches up to us. He isn't far behind, he can definitely hear me.
"Well, this wouldn't be the first time the GM just didn't send us mission mail. Mr. H said something about him being as much a genius as he was crazy and that he genuinely got distracted from his responsibilities pretty easily." Shiki informs us.
"Yeah, busy making garbage sculptures." I roll my eyes. "And sending Taboo Noise after players."
"Wait, you ran into Taboo Noise?" Shiki gasps.
"Yep, and the GM himself." Axel says and Shiki's jaw just about hits the ground. Neku's eyes narrow, his expression thoughtful.
"Wouldn't be the first time Pi Face has introduced himself to players,though." He mutters.
"I mean, I guess. I just thought we were kind of…Out of the ordinary? Like since we 'broke the rules' he showed up." Shiki confesses, rubbing the back of her neck, staring down at her phone, I would assume, waiting for the mission mail that might or might not show up.
"What did you guys do to break the rules? I mean, I haven't heard much about the Reaper's Game, but I've sure never heard of anyone being forced to play a penalty game." Axel inquires.
"Both of our partners—Beat and Rhyme—were erased. When your partner is erased, you have seven minutes to live. I was freaking out, Neku was the one who found me. We had thirty seconds left on our timers when we formed a pact. That was on day two, our timers disappeared and we made it through the end of the game. We finished, we beat the GM and then we were told that we weren't allowed to reform our pacts, that we got by on a technicality." Shiki tells us.
"Which is annoying, because no one ever mentioned any rules about finding a new partner." Neku grumbles.
"So that was why your penalty removed all other players from the game, so that you guys couldn't skate by on the same technicality?" I ask.
"Yeah, which, I mean is super unfair." Shiki sighs, and just then, all four of our phones chime. I brace myself, preparing for an equation from hell.
'Message from the Reapers
Head to Towa Records
No Time Limit'
No timer is branded onto my hand. No equations either. Either Towa Records is in a different world or this is some kind of joke.
"This can't be right, Towa Records is just a quick walk away." Shiki insists.
"Does something about this…seem familiar to you?" Neku asks, squinting at the message. Something is clearly upsetting him and not Shiki.
"No? Should it?" She asks. "Neku, I know you said you got your memories back when we finished off last week, but is there maybe something else missing?" She asks.
"You lost your memories?" I ask, holding my breath, hoping this boy might be the answer to the 'sealed room' that is my memories.
"They were my entry fee." Neku says, and I steal a quick glance at Axel who instantly understands my disappointment. "I don't know…It's probably just nothing." Neku shakes his head.
"It sounds like a trick." I purse my lips.
"Or maybe they fired the old GM? I mean, this doesn't look like any mission he's ever given. Maybe we just stay on our guard, but have a nice, easy going day." Shiki suggests.
"That doesn't sound too bad to me." Axel agrees.
"I'm not sure…" Neku seems to be on my side, he's squinting at the phone, eyes narrowed as they stare down at the message. But both of our partners are already talking animatedly about how they want to spend the day off.
"Well, if there's no time limit, then…um, Rueki, would you come to Ten-Four with me? I wanted to pick some things up." Shiki looks a little anxious, as though she's terrified of being rejected, so I swing an arm around her.
"Yes, and I need new clothes, so you're definitely gonna help me with that, right?" I ask, because yes, I do need new clothes, but I am not prepared for what shopping with a self proclaimed 'fashionista' could possibly be like.
We've been inside of a store called D+B for at least two hours, with Shiki throwing scraps of fabric over the door of the dressing room, and I say scraps, because half of the clothing that she is insistent that I will look great in, barely covers me. I hate a good portion of it, despite how trendy I'm sure it is. Unlike most people in this world, I would guess, I need to be able to move, to fight. Cute as a leather mini skirt is, it's definitely not equipped for my style of fighting. Axel and Neku got lucky and didn't have to tag along on this trip, instead they headed over to the food court, with Axel telling Neku, in great detail, about our encounter with the GM and the maybe/possibly/most likely Taboo Noise.
"Here, try this!" Shiki says, patience in her voice not wavering as she tosses over a black bustier style crop top with little gold buttons down the middle of it and a pair of black velvet shorts. I can tell they're going to be high waisted, but looking at the microscopic piece of fabric, I am a little more than a little bit worried that my ass is going to hang out of these.
"Shiki, I need to be able to move without these splitting open." I remind her through the door.
"Oh come on! Just try them on, please!" She begs. "It's going to look so cute on you, Rueki, just trust me, you're gonna love it!" I dangle the piece of black velvet in my hands. Fine, if she's intent on having me shit on her dreams, I guess that's her prerogative. I zip up the back of the shirt and love it, instantly. Okay, the girl does have great taste, based on how trendy she looks, I wouldn't expect anything less. The shirt is hella cute and definitely designed for wear and tear. The shorts still appear to be a problem though and as I slide into them, I cringe.
"Dude, you're definitely gonna need to grab a bigger size on the shorts." Although she mentioned she was an aspiring designer, I doubt someone who looks like Shiki understands the struggles of having an abundance of ass.
"What? No way. Open the door." Shiki insists as I finally get the shorts all the way up. I make a face at the Rueki in the mirror, who looks like she is trying to get away with wearing a diaper. The shorts just barely cup the underside of my ass, they hug every ounce of flesh, every imperfection, the lower part of my stomach is somehow wider and less toned than the upper half, which is small enough to belong to a different person. In the light of the dressing room, I see every stretch mark, every dimple of cellulite. I guess the one saving grace to these shorts is that they have belt loops so I could still wear my weapons pouch. I unlock the door and Shiki nearly topples over the frame, desperate to get in. "Are you kidding me? You look amazing!" She's so enthusiastic about this that all I am able to offer her is a confused face and a quirked eyebrow.
"Is there more to the outfit that you're just hiding from me or…" I start.
"No! Rueki, this is so perfect and so trendy!" She gushes and then, with her tiny frame, grabs me by the shoulders and quite literally spins me around to look at me. "And like, it fits your waist and your hips, I told you D+B would be perfect for you, they make such high quality clothing, you don't even need to tailor it!" And here I was, a simple girl, in a simple world, thinking you just went to the store, bought something comfortable that didn't make you look like hot garbage and call it good. She throws around more words about the cut of the fabric and the quality of the material before I heave a sigh.
"Are we just going to ignore the fact that my ass is hanging half way out of these?" I ask.
"Oh come on, just like the bottom of your ass. But Rueki, that's how everyone is wearing shorts nowadays!" She insists.
"Does no one walk anymore? Because if I do, I'm gonna split these open, I swear." I try.
"You'll be fine! Do a squat test if you're so worried." She waves her hand. I crouch down and sure enough, the shorts stretch and make room for my movements and Shiki is looking at me, smug as hell.
"I look ridiculous." I sigh, knowing full well that these opinions won't matter and that I am now at the mercy of a sixteen year old fashionista.
"You so don't, I wish I looked that good in that outfit." Shiki says as I stand back up, looking myself over in the mirror.
"Oh come on, what don't you look good in? You are literally perfect." I inform her, as though she needs it. When I turn to her, I see her looking at her phone, brow knit, an expression so empty and miserable darkening her features. "Shiki." I call her name and her eyes light back up, tearing away from the screen of her phone as she meets me with a smile that could make someone go blind.
"Sorry, sorry! Seriously though, Rueki, you have to buy that!" She all but begs me. "I mean, if not for you, well…I could think of someone who might appreciate that look."
"Dude." I sigh.
"Don't think I didn't see you two all cozy by Hachiko!" She grins.
"What the fuck is a Hachiko?" I ask.
"The statue of the dog." She rolls her eyes as though it should be painfully obvious. "I didn't think we'd ever see the two of you start to get along, but it looks like you are and then some."
"No, it's not like that." I shake my head. She looks at me, skeptically. "We were more…saying goodbye to each other. Coming to terms with the fact that things between us are done."
"But it looked like…Like the two of you were…" She seems to be struggling with her words, and I worry that I am crushing the heart of a teenage girl, telling her love is a lie and it's easier to give up the fight. "Why?"
"Because nothing has changed. I can't forgive him for something that he doesn't even have the conscience to realize is wrong. I make things complicated for him and he breaks my heart, and we keep going round and round in this stupid circle. Neither of us will break the chain so we can't break free. It was fun, in my head at least, for the first little while because I felt so on fire and so alive, but the more it carried on the more I realized that I just can't do this. I'm not cut out for any of this." I confess to her.
"But what if he gets his heart back? Mr. H told us a little bit, about how Nobodies search for their hearts, hoping to become whole again. What if he does? Do you really wanna have to say you gave up so easily when he finally gets his heart back and it's broken?" Shiki snaps and I snort.
"He hasn't had a heart in over a decade. I'm not waiting another." I say firmly. She looks so upset, so distraught like the love I have for him should be enough, and I truly wish it was, I wish I could tell her it was. Instead, I say "I think I'm gonna buy this outfit. You're right, it's cute. I'll get over my shorts being up my ass."
She doesn't smile.
"Give it the rest of the week, Rueki. Neku and I weren't even civil with each other when we first met. But our partners the first week were siblings so we got stuck together more often than not. Now, I can honestly say that when we make it out of here, he'll be one of my closest friends." Shiki insists, and really, I find it quite rude that this overly perky, bleeding heart girl is giving me unsolicited relationship advice about a relationship she couldn't even fathom being in. Twilight knows that I couldn't have ever dreamed of what it would be like to love someone like Axel, the constant push and pull, the strain, the never being able to meet in the middle and either attracting or repelling like magnets, with such force that it tears me apart. I couldn't have imagined love feeling difficult and tiring. I thought Del and the absolute lackluster caricature of intimacy were as low to the depths as I could sink, but at the end of the day, no matter how high of highs Axel granted me, the lows were just too low for me to weather. But maybe being cordial is what Shibuya will teach me, because instead of getting annoyed and fighting her, I think of how smothering her doubts like cinders will make the rest of the week go that much smoother.
"Sure. Let's go buy this outfit and do some more shopping."
We do, and Shiki doesn't say another word about Axel and I, instead, she tells me stories of her life, filled with bubblegum, strawberry lip gloss and secrets told with friends, leaning against a locker. She tells me about a girl named Eri who is her absolute best friend, and how amazing she is. She talks endlessly of working with Eri in the workshop they have turned Eri's parent's basement into, sewing designs, tearing the seams on different clothes they own and transforming tired outfits into newer, on trend ones. She talks through me finding a new pair of boots—combat style, that reach only the middle of my calves—through manicures and pedicures, through buying cute underwear and red lipstick, because what the hell, you only live once, through telling me I have at least six inches of split ends and dragging me into a ritzy salon for haircuts and blow outs. She talks, seeming to just be excited to have someone who is actually listening to her and not the music coming into his headphone. She talks, until I am toying with my newly shorter hair—which still reaches my elbows, but doesn't look like actual shit, and for the first time in forever, isn't in a ponytail—and Axel and Neku show up.
"Oh, good! Just in time! You guys can carry our bags!" Shiki grins, and without even skipping a beat, she unloads all of her bags on Neku, who grunts and makes a face.
"Seriously?" He sighs, rolling his eyes, but Shiki doesn't even acknowledge the single word from him.
"What do you guys think of Rueki's hair?" She asks, which translates roughly into 'Hey Axel, will Rueki's lack of split ends make her more appealing to you'? I roll my eyes.
"It's down?" Neku asks.
"Is this a trick? Did you do something to it?" Axel asks me.
"Omigod, she cut like eight inches off." Shiki sighs. "You guys are impossible."
"It's okay kiddo, you made me pretty. That's hard work." I pat her shoulder. "And once I change into this, I'll actually not look homeless." I swing my bag around in my hand and catch her biting back a smile.
"You guys have been shopping forever." Neku grumbles.
"There's no time limit on this mission." I remind him, and to be honest, I think it's safer to stay in the mall, shopping and going to salons, because if the Reaper's plan to trick us, I doubt it's inside somewhere so normal.
"That's right! We could find you guys some new outfits too!" Shiki says.
"My clothes are fine." Neku says at the same time Axel says "this is a work uniform."
Shiki just huffs, indignantly. I honestly adore this girl. If I had a friend like this growing up, I might not have left my home world.
"You know, it's not like it's a bad thing to care about trends, especially when it effects how we fight." She reminds us, crossing her arms to her chest. Neku, however, knows her well enough to think of something to distract her.
"So, shouldn't we be trying to get this mission done?" He asks.
"Right," Axel agrees. "No time limit or not, the sooner we get it done, the sooner the day is done and we get one step closer to challenging the Game Master."
He's not wrong, I just can't shake the bad feeling that I have about this mission. I doubt Neku can either.
"Well, at least it's an easy mission. That's a nice break from all of the equations and riddles." Shiki confesses.
"I think what you're trying to say is that it's a boring mission." Axel grins at her, I am embarrassed by the fact that that grin still makes my stomach backflip. Just a few more days and I can take the steps to finally moving on, to finally getting over him. "You know, maybe we should do something to make this exciting. Let's race to this Towa Records."
Suddenly, a very alarmed look flashes through Neku's eyes and he drops Shiki's bags to the floor.
"Hey!" She admonishes before quickly realizing that something is wrong. "Neku, are you alright?"
"There's something about this that…" Neku casts her a panicked look, brow furrowing. "None of this feels familiar to you?"
"Should it?" She asks and he shakes his head, crouching over to pick up her bags, eyes hard.
"Neku…?" I ask, his eyes flick up to mine. "What are you remembering?"
"Nothing." He sighs. "It's just feelings, and the oddest sense of déjà vu."
"What should we do?" I ask and he shakes his head.
"I don't know. We can't not complete this mission." He comes up, grabbing Shiki's bags, eyes on the floor again.
"Neku…" Shiki tries. "Look, they're memories from when you were alive, right? Which means they can't affect us here! I mean hey, maybe you died by Towa Records, you still don't remember how you died, right? I'm sure it's no big deal, whatever happened in the RG won't hurt us here."
"She's right, there's not a hell of a lot we can do if we don't know what we're looking out for." Axel agrees and I narrow my eyes.
"It's called being cautious." I snap and Axel snorts, rolling his eyes.
"This again?" He shakes his head, but I ignore him, looking to Neku.
"Maybe we take another route?" I suggest, but the kid just shakes his head.
"No, they're right. I don't even know what I'm looking for. I guess I can't avoid something that I don't even know exists. It's probably nothing." He sighs.
So, with no further preparation, living as blindly as I have these past few months, we leave Ten-Four and go back to the Scramble Crossing, then past a series of department stores. Neku doesn't say a word to anyone, in fact he lingers behind, looking at the world in front of him as though he is trying to tell whether or not this is reality. Shiki and Axel walk ahead of us, in animated conversation about something that seems so trivial, compared to whatever this kid is remembering. I wonder what makes his amnesia so different than mine. I think about the handwritten journal I found in Castle Oblivion and being touched by darkness. I suddenly hear my name.
"Hey, maybe Rueki can come back to the RG with us when we beat the GM!" Shiki suggest, bubbly as ever, and I realize that they must've been talking about Axel's plan to drop me off in the middle of nowhere.
"I wouldn't hate that." I shrug. "You gotta promise that you won't ditch me for all of your living friends though, I'm not exactly good at playing nice with others."
"You can say that again." Axel says, and I know it's meant to be teasing, but I'm still a little irritated with him over wanting to dive into this head first. We pass the departments stores and come to a smaller looking shop front. The skyscraper of a record store is so close that I cannot help the twitching in my palms and the hammering of my heart in my chest.
"Oh come on, you'll totally miss her." Shiki elbows him and I catch Axel's face softening for just a fraction of a second.
"Only because I'll have no one else to talk to back home. This other new kid I'm training, he's a total zombie. Not great for conversation." Axel waves his hand.
"Well, you could always go back to your buddy, Saix." Oh fuck. The words escape my mouth and I swear I don't even mean them, but Axel was right when he said that not shutting up is going to get me in trouble one day. I don't want to fight him, truly I don't, but I don't even know if I can help myself anymore around him. Maybe this resentment runs too deep, maybe we're not going to make it the next three days without killing each other.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me." He looks at me with complete and utter exasperation, stopping in the middle of the street. Shiki shifts, looking between the two of us anxiously. Neku just frowns. "After all of your talking about making it through the next few days and acting like you've grown so much, you haven't grown at all. Do you ever think to yourself that maybe it's you that has the issue and not me?"
"Oh fuck you, don't put all of this on me, I wouldn't have said it if it weren't true!" As though that somehow makes it better. I know it doesn't, but I have steered too deep into this skid.
"You know, it doesn't mean as much, coming from someone with absolutely zero self control. I mean, you just can't help yourself, can you? You want to talk shit about Saix, be my guest, but he was right about you. You've always been so smug and so self righteous. Even when you're not trying, it always has to be about you and your fucking pride." He snaps.
"Guys, come on…" Shiki tries, but she is barely a blip on my radar. I see red, I have tunnel vision and Axel is the only thing on the other side.
"Maybe because I'm the only one who hasn't ever let myself down. We both know you have. Time and time and time again." I sneer.
"Oh poor, poor you. You must've had such a hard life to grow up to be such an absolute—" I don't even wait for him to finish, I whip around and slap him, my palm stinging with the impact.
"Fuck you!" I scream.
Shiki recoils, leaping back from us as though she has been hit and Neku takes a step over to her, almost as though he thinks I'm a threat and wants to protect her.
"You're not even a good enough lay to be worth this." Axel hisses and storms off. And hell, I must've pissed him off for that to be the wittiest thing for him to think up. As he walks, I seem him shake with repressed anger, but my ego just will not let me go. I scoff, crossing my arms to my chest, limbs tingling with rage that waits to be unleashed. I made such a mistake, thinking that things could be okay, they can never be okay, not after all he's done and all he won't admit that he's at fault for. Everything about our relationship has been a complete mistake from the start, I was an idiot to even keep trying at it for this long. I go to stomp off in the opposite direction, back towards the Scramble, because fuck him, he can finish this mission on his own.
But then, Shiki screams.
"Axel!" She cries out. My head whips over to him, where he stands, looking up at the sky scraper, Towa Records and then down at the palm of his hand.
At first, I don't understand what the noise is about, and then, suddenly I see it. A shark fin, black and white, like the Taboo Kangaroos yesterday, barreling at him at top speed. He whips around, eyes wide and I feel my anger shedding off of me like a reptile sheds its old skin.
Can forgiveness really come that easily? Is it really possible for me to put ego and resentment aside, so completely, so selflessly?The seconds tick by so fast and impossibly slow at the same time, and I know without a doubt that it is possible, even for me.
There are so many things that are more important than being right and he is at the top of the list.
Why the hell have I taken him so for granted? He kept me alive, he kept me safe. Against everything in his nature, he made me feel so very alight, and so very special and what have I done? Blamed and accused, screamed and kicked like a child who couldn't get her way. I have been a immature, a fool, a brat, so vindictive and unforgiving and for what? So that I could dangle something about the head of the man I claimed to love? So that I could level the playing field and try to hurt him like his lack of a heart has hurt me? Something he physically cannot control is what I have been faulting him for, maybe he doesn't have a heart but maybe I'm flat out heartless. I have no excuse for the level of cruelty I have treated him with, for holding grudges, just so I could let hate burn a hole in me and leave me as hollow as he doesn't want to be.
My feet slam into the pavement, the impact sending shockwaves into my legs as I fly across the earth.
The air whips my face, I barrel past people who cannot see or feel me and I hear his name fly out of my mouth.
"Axel, move!" I beg.
I don't know what my plan is, all I know is that beyond a shadow of a doubt, no matter what my wrath had led me to believe, I cannot live in a world without him. He has done everything he has ever needed to keep me alive, and all I have ever done is fault him. His life matters, above all others. He can't die, I can't be without him. No matter what else happens, he needs to make it, he needs to survive long enough to get his heart back so that he can—
So that we can—
His body is a thousand degrees as I crash into him, like waves against the shore.
We collide just in time for the spike of the shark's fin to impale me.
My legs go numb as a wetness floods my abdomen and I am surprised by how incredibly soaked everything feels in my entire core as though the very ocean is alive inside of me. I try to suck in a breath and as I do I am overcome by the sensation that I am drowning.
Something thick and wet fills my lungs and I gasp—
wheeze-
shake as I try desperately to take a breath.
"Rueki!" Axel is suddenly at my side, hands underneath my arms. My legs give out completely underneath me. My eyes cross as a blinding pain rips through my chest cavity, as though someone has pierced into my flesh and torn me wide open with their bare hands. He wraps his arms around my waist, trying to pull me to my feet, and the pressure on my middle is more than I can bare. I scream, though it is a wet, choking, rasping sound, borderline inhuman. My vision prickles, turning white as my head starts to feel too light and too heavy all at the same time.
I hit the ground, body spasming, twitching, vibrating on the pavement.
"What the hell? That was supposed to erase her!" A female voice roars and somewhere in the depths of my memory I register it with Uzuki.
"It would've, if she wasn't alive. Looks like this is how they found the loophole in the game, there really weren't supposed to be any other players. Well she won't be erased, she'll just die and be given the chance to play again, as a real player, next week." A male voice, Kariya's says. "Damn shame too, you could've had a spotless record this week, girl."
"Ugh! Fine, let's find those other two little brats." Uzuki shrieks. I feel a hand against my face, a hotter than the sun.
"Rueks, babe, you've gotta stay with me." Axel begs and I want to tell him that I'm sorry, that I hope this frees him from the game and that he can go back to The World That Never Was and forget all about me. I want to promise that I forgive him and beg him to forgive me, because I have been so blinded and so in the wrong this entire time, and I'm sorry that it has taken death to make me realize that. He was right all along, the only thing that matters is keeping the person that you care about, alive. I try to speak, but am unsurprised to find that I can't. I reach out to touch him and black floods my vision. My limbs fade into it, I fade into it.
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I
T