XXI.
I wake up on Day 7 and decide I need a cold shower, because my boyfriend is the temperature of the sun.
And, well, he's hot and I am physically well enough to be horny again.
I emerge from the shower of the bathroom attached to the room we're in and swipe my hand across the mirror above the sink. I look like a drowned rat again, which is familiar and comforting, though I don't think I will be getting used to the new scar on my abdomen any time soon. It's about three inches long, angry and red, but at least I am sufficiently mended. Mid way through combing my fingers through my hair, the door creaks open. I don't even reach for a towel. Instead, I lean into Axel as he wraps his arms around me from behind.
"Good morning, beautiful." He kisses my neck.
"You are so whipped." I roll my eyes. "You have never told me anything about my looks other than that I look like shit."
"Nah, you're wrong." He argues. "I'm sure I've told you how cute you are before."
"Maybe when you're banging me." I shrug.
"Well maybe you shouldn't look so perfect taking my cock." He grins against my skin. My stomach does a backflip.
"Do I? You know I've forgotten how good I look fucking you, maybe you should refresh my memory while we have a mirror in front of us." I say, grinding my hips back against his. But he is as immovable as a brick wall.
"C'mon Rueks. We're guests in the man's house." He tries.
"Yeah, and we're in the bathroom. Shower sex makes for easy cleanup." I encourage, although I know I hate shower sex and it won't be good anyway.
"Or, and hear me out, we can wait until we get back to Castle Oblivion, and then I don't need to shush you when I make you scream." He draws slowly away from me, hands still on my hips.
"I hate it when you're right." I grumble, running my fingers through my hair.
"What are you fussing with that for?" He asks. "We both know it's going up in a ponytail in five minutes."
Challenge accepted.
"Shiki made sure that your new clothes didn't get left behind in the street." Axel informs me, taking his hands off of me. "They're in the bags on the dresser."
"How kind of her." I grin. "Do we know how her and Neku are doing? Did they make it out okay on day 4?"
"According to Sanae." Axel shrugs and starts taking off his boxers.
"Okay, I need to get out of here, or I am going to spontaneously combust." I sigh, grabbing a towel out of the cabinet.
"Because I'm so hot?" He wiggles his eyebrows.
"Exactly." I lean up on my toes and press my lips to his before tucking out of the bathroom.
True to his word, I find the outfit that Shiki and I bought together, as well as the shoes, the lipstick and the cute underwear, sitting on the dresser. Suddenly, life seems pretty great again. I towel dry my hair before pulling on my new outfit. I still hate the shorts a little bit and feel like they're trying to devour my ass, but as I turn to rummage through the bag for lipstick and hear the door of the bathroom creak open behind me, the reaction is beyond satisfying.
"You should shop with Shiki more often." I turn to grin at Axel, still on my toes, red lipstick now in hand. "Actually, do you want to just go shopping with her now, and Neku and I will take care of the GM?"
I use the window as a mirror to apply the lipstick, which looks badass as all hell with my black on black ensemble. I turn to him, smirking. He snorts.
"Yeah, the offer still stands." With his towel draped over the door and a pair of boxer briefs on, he starts to pull on a pair of pants that I swear to all hell are tighter and dip lower along his waist, exposing more of the delicious 'v' of his hipbones. I rub the back of my neck as I drink in the sight of him, not even trying to be subtle.
"New pants?" I ask. He shrugs. "They'd look a lot better on the ground." I say. He barks out a laugh and walks over to me, lifting me up in his arms. I wince a little, surprised that even this is putting a strain on my sore abdomen. Axel quickly sets me down and I pout. "You didn't have to stop, the pain wasn't so bad." I try.
"Sweetheart, we need to adjust your priorities." He snickers.
"You should consider it a compliment. I wouldn't die to have sex with just anyone." I snark back. He leans in to press his lips to my forehead, and I am surprised by how something so innocent can make me turn to mush so fast.
A knock sounds off at the door and I tilt my head, watching as Sanae opens the door.
"Is it safe?" He makes a big show of covering his eyes with his hand.
"It's not going to be, if you keep being a turd." I grumble under my breath and Axel elbows me in the side of my ribs that wasn't just stabbed by a shark fin.
"Sweetheart, the man saved your life." He reminds me.
"Feh." I mutter. Axel sets a hand on the small of my back and rests his chin on the top of my head, to look over me and at Sanae.
"What can we do you for, my good sir? Axel asks.
"Well if I haven't sufficiently ruined Blondie's whole day with my presence," I can practically feel the grin radiating off of him. He might drive me just as insane as my boyfriend.
I catch myself grinning like an idiot. I don't think this will ever get old.
"You've got some visitors." Sanae finishes. I feel Axel draw away from me to spin me around and grab his coat off of the bed and as he zips it up, Shiki literally barrels past Sanae, as though he is a barricade and I am her favorite musician.
"Rueki!" She leaps at me and throws her arms around me. Although taller than me, she's so tiny, that even now, feeling up to snuff, but still a little sore, she doesn't do much damage. I wrap her in a tight hug and throw my head back, laughing.
"Good to see you too, kiddo!"
"Omigod, you have no idea how worried we were!" She pulls back, still grabbing me by the top of the arms, to look me over, as though she is waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"Yeah, Shiki wouldn't shut up about you." Neku is standing a few feet away from us, a hand around his arm and a sheepish smile on his face.
"Oh don't act like you didn't miss me, bring it in kid, there are enough hugs to spare." I insist. He meets my expression with a complete deadpan.
"No thanks."
"Ha! It's good to see that you kids have all made friends. Really warms my heart." Sanae touches his hand to his chest.
"Wait, all of us?" Shiki grins at me in the least subtle way possible. Suddenly, behind me, Axel returns, fully clothed to set his head on top of mine again and grab me by the waist. He pulls me out of Shiki's grip to hug me around the middle and I wince a little, but try to hide the look of pain.
"Rueki's finally realized that she's not going to do any better than me." Axel teases and for good measure, I decide to elbow him in the ribs. "Ouch!" He pulls away, rubbing his abdomen. I grin at him.
"What he means is that I've decided to tolerate him for the time being." I shrug. "And, you know, maybe tell anyone who is willing to listen that he's my boyfriend now."
"Oh Rueki, that is so exciting!" Shiki squeals and once again, throws her arms around me. I laugh, I don't think I've had a moment that is both so ecstatic and so full of estrogen in my entire life. Not that I'm complaining. For a moment, I forget that I'm hugging a dead girl, while her dead friend and an inhuman guardian stand beside us. I forget that my boyfriend doesn't have a heart and doesn't 'technically' exist in the first place. For a second, I forget that he is still hiding something from me.
Well, maybe I don't forget but maybe it doesn't matter.
After a few more pleasantries are exchanged, the four of us head out to a place Neku calls 'Pork City'. To me, it sounds like the name of a tacky Barbeque place, but I am assured that it is not.
"It's a place where all of the thoughts build in Shibuya. Good and bad, in the UG they build and rise to the top." Neku says. I furrow my brow.
"How do you know this?" I ask.
"Ever since day 4, Neku's been having more random memories pop back up, stuff that makes no sense." Shiki confesses.
"It's annoying." Neku offers. I don't think I'd mind it so much, getting little glimpses into my memories, but then I remember my dream. I remember Naminé tapping at a door, telling me there was a way in, before darkness consumed her. Maybe it's better that I don't remember anything. Maybe ignorance is bliss.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" A bubblegum voice sing songs from behind us and I grab Axel's hand. I steal a glance to Neku and Shiki, who look apprehensive and anxious and like they just want more than anything to be done with this. It dawns on me, that for how over this game I am, Axel and I have played for the equivalent of four and a half days. Neku and Shiki have been playing for three times that long, and they're just kids.
The four of us turn in perfect unison to see Uzuki striding over, swaying her flawless hips, arms crossed to her chest, a predatory smile on her face. Her partner, Kariya, is lagging behind, a hand in the pocket of his jeans, lollipop still dangling from his lips.
"Looks like a couple of players. Two back from the dead. So to speak" He says, and then taking the lollipop out of his mouth, a lazy grin starts to spread across his features. It somehow scares me more than any expression Uzuki has ever worn. "Only you two were never dead in the first place, were you?"
A feeling of dread washes over me, as though this is a secret he never should've found out about.
"What a waste of perfectly good Noise." Uzuki huffs as she approaches us.
"I dunno, it smarted pretty good." I shrug.
"I mean hey, good effort. But better luck next time." Axel says, leaning against me and suddenly we are the badass power couple that I wanted us to be from the very beginning.
"Who's got a mouth on them that'll land us in trouble, again?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at him. Axel shrugs.
"Guess you're rubbing off on me, sweetheart."
"Awe, you made up. How cute, I just might puke." Uzuki makes a retching face as her and Kariya finally close in on us.
"Fact of the matter is, girlie, you've put a target on your head. The GM doesn't care who we take out now, you two or our veteran players. You're both worth double the points. Guess you should've stayed dead." Kariya says, and despite the red hair, he is now reminding me for the first time of my own partner. Casual and sarcastic on the surface, but I have a feeling that whatever is lurking beneath is deadly beyond compare. I squeeze Axel's hand one more time before releasing it.
"Guess only two of us need to stay here and put up with you, then." I say. And I know it isn't going to be Neku and Shiki. At the end of the day, these two Reapers are just the GM's pawns, and I am still sore as all hell. I'd rather take on the pawns than the king right now.
"You guys go ahead, we'll take care of them." Axel waves his hand and I roll my shoulder back, thankful that without even speaking them, he understands my limitations.
"Are you sure you guys are up for this?" Shiki asks, looking at me with a knit brow and worried eyes.
"No, but hey, who better to start with than these small fries?" I say, mostly just to vex Uzuki, who snorts, indignantly.
"Um rude, we almost just killed you the other day." Uzuki grumbles, though it goes unacknowledged.
"Sorry, looks like you guys are stuck doing the heavy lifting." Axel offers her a half smile. Shiki still looks anxious, but Neku seems to understand, because he nods.
"Thank you, guys." He says.
"Don't make a big deal of it, kid." I smile softly at him. He yanks at Shiki's arm and the two take off.
"You know, you two would've been better off going to hunt down the GM, you haven't pissed him off like you've pissed off this one." Kariya says, jutting a thumb in Uzuki's direction.
"It doesn't seem like it's really that much work." Axel shrugs. Uzuki quite literally growls. Kariya chuckles.
"You know, this might actually be a fun fight. It's been a while since I've fought anyone who isn't dead." Kariya grins.
"Speak for yourself. I am so not in the mood for a one sided beat down." Uzuki pouts.
"I'm literally right here. I can hear everything you're saying." I roll my eyes.
"Oh good, so you know exactly how this is going to go." Uzuki grins.
"She remind you of anyone we know, Rueks?" Axel asks and I bite back a smile.
"You mean our very best friend, Larxene?" I ask.
"The very same." He says, tapping his temple.
"Is that supposed to mean something?" Uzuki snorts.
"I think they're trying to be funny." Kariya tries.
"Oh no, just on a walk down memory lane, got it memorized?" Axel asks. "Hey, Rueks, do you recall what happened to Larxene, or should I give you a recap?"
"Refresh my memory." I say as Uzuki comes sprinting at me.
We're in the realm of combat, suddenly, and Uzuki stands across from me, a gun at hand. A seductive smile lights her features, almost as though she is the cat and she's finally alone with the mouse. Too bad for her, I'm a scrappy little mouse.
Not allowing her another second to prepare, I sprint at her. She shoots, and she's a damn good shot, I lift Survivor to deflect the impact to realize…she's shooting flowers at me?
"You've got to be fucking kidding me." I mutter, but as they connect with Survivor, my eyes go wide and I'm knocked back. My arm stings and tingles beneath my claw, a burning sensation that seems to penetrate my bones.
"Nope, not kidding at all." Uzuki giggles, so I say fuck it and slash across her with full force anyway. The pain in my arm screams as it spreads from my arm, to my chest, up and down my entire body. For a second, I feel exactly the way I did when the shark crashed into me and I fall onto my back, clutching my middle, trying to blink away the spots in my vision.
Those flowers were laced with poison.
Despite my hit, Uzuki is not down for as long as I am, and she hovers above me, smashing her foot down into my abdomen. Pain rips through me as I cry out, back arching, body heaving. I struggle to keep down the nonexistent contents of my stomach.
"Awe, poor baby, flowers don't look so harmless now." She giggles, leaning over me. And I don't care how much I hurt, I don't care that every time I attack her the poison in my veins is going to damage me. I really just don't give a shit, I'm pissed. I grab her by the head and smash my skull into hers, at a force where I swear I can hear a sickening crack, and then, while she is disoriented—I am too, but at least I was prepared—I send my knee straight into her stomach and then deliver another kick to her jaw.
She cries out, her wings taking her straight up into the air, at the furthest corner away from me. I fish through my pouch, finding an Antidote and I quickly down it, sighing as I feel the effects of the poison wear off. I still hurt from head to toe, but nothing is burning.
I don't know if Uzuki is curing herself or just catching her breath, but I don't want this to go on any longer. I load a Luck Sphere and an Antidote into Survivor, knowing full well that if I don't land this attack, it very well might kill me, the state I'm in. Guess I better not miss. I feel the energy building in my claw and I raise my arm in the air, feeling the effects of the Hero Drink wash over me. Energy floods my system, as though I am hopped up on far too much caffeine, my blood boils underneath my skin, my muscles twitch, desperate for release. I spring up, flipping over, shooting far higher than I ever could into the air on my own. It's not high enough to unleash an attack, but I grab Uzuki by her boot. She shrieks as I drag her to the ground and smash my claw into her chest. I swear, I can physically feel her health drain. But after an attack like that, I feel my own as well.
I'm dizzy, I stumble back off of her, trying to find a potion in my pack, but as blackness clouds my vision, I don't know if I'd be able to tell a Potion from an Ether. I pop the cap off of something and drink it, making a face. Definitely a Potion, thank goodness. Because although I am still out of breath, so is she. At least I can see again. Uzuki pushes herself up, legs shaking as she gets to her feet.
"You bitch." With narrowed eyes, she aims the gun at me. I don't know how I'm going to have the energy to escape her blast, but I'm going to need to figure something out, I'm not going to make it through getting hit with Poison again. Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe I'm not in any shape to fight anything yet. Maybe I have colossally screwed Axel over, a weak link in this battle. I say a silent apology to my partner and brace myself for her attack.
Out of nowhere, Uzuki doubles over on her knees, clutching her middle as the gun falls out of her hand and clatters against the pavement. She gasps, and her body flashes white for just the briefest of seconds.
"Dammit!" She snaps, eyes darting up to mine, a fire burning beneath them. She shakes and sputters, screaming out a defiant roar, like a lioness wronged one too many times, before we are once again on the streets of Shibuya. Her and I are both on the ground, Kariya is leaning against the side of a building, clutching his abdomen, grinning. Axel is hunkered over in a very similar way, though he doesn't look as worse for the wear. I realize instantly how I was able to get out of this alive. My partner pulled all the punches for me, he didn't hold anything back. I'm not sure I've ever seen Axel unleash his full fury on anything, not even Marluxia. "We lost? How did we lose?" Uzuki screams.
"Dude, you didn't put yourself in danger of fading, did you?" I ask and suddenly, I see, behind my eyes, Zexion's hand, the last remnants of him fading into blackness and I choke on my breath. Axel must see me with wide, horrified eyes and think it is all for him. He reaches down, and with what little strength he must have left, pulls me to my feet, an arm around my waist. Leaning against him, I search through my pouch for potions.
"Did I just catch you worrying, Rueks?" He teases. I glare, and hand him a potion before drinking one of my own.
"Well yeah, in case you missed it, my boyfriend is a fucking moron." I remind him. He snorts.
"Your praise is so touching." Axel replies. It appears now that Kariya has eased Uzuki away from a temper tantrum, though she is still clearly fuming when he finally speaks.
"Now that was a hell of a fight. You're not even human at all, are you?" Kariya stretches his arms high above his head, popping his joints, as though this is all he has in him and he's now ready for a nap. Somehow, I highly doubt this was all he had to give.
"Guilty as charged." Axel replies and damn, it really hits me that those two are cut from the same cloth. "What gave me away?"
"Well, I've only seen one other person use darkness before. What does that make you? A Heartless?" Kariya asks, and again, I'm wondering if Heartless and Nobodies are common knowledge to everyone in every other world.
"A what?" Uzuki asks, and that answers that question.
"A Nobody, actually. All shell, no heart." Axel says. Kariya's eyes light up with a spark in them, like this is the first time in centuries he's actually been intrigued by something.
"That's wild." He replies. "You looking for a job, red? No one wants to be a Reaper anymore. They all want to 'come back to life' because they 'miss their friends and families'." He says, using air quotes.
"Go figure." I grumble under my breath.
"Anyway, we could use someone like you. Hell, bring your girl too if you want." Kariya shrugs.
"Since when do you have the authority to make people Reapers?" Uzuki scoffs.
"Since never. But hey, do you think the GM would complain? Besides, if we're going to keep playing back to back games, we need more man power, I could use a day off." Kariya replies.
"Thank, but I'm gonna have to pass." Axel laughs. "Already got a job that works me to the bone."
"Damn, well, worth a shot." Kariya says. "Word of advice though, start pretending you're a slacker and you might end up with a day or two more off. Next vacation day you get, tell everyone who will listen that all you did all day was nap. Suddenly you might have a lot less grunt work to do."
"You know, I might just follow that bit of advice. And I don't say that to just anyone, got it memorized?" Axel grins.
"That is accurate, he doesn't." I nod.
"Why the hell are you being so nice to them? How are you not mad? We lost, Kariya!" Uzuki roars.
"Eh, we weren't gonna win anyway. You've never fought the living." Kariya waves his hand.
"So you let the other two get away?" Uzuki asks.
"There's always next week." Kariya shrugs.
"Wait, what?" I ask.
"Not for you two, in fact, I'll be extra nice to you, because that was probably the most fun I've had in a fight in a damn long time. But you two wanna head to the Shibuya River. The other two will probably meet you there. Head to the Composer's pad, it's through a set of doors by the river. It's the only place in here you'll be able travel through darkness. Don't stick around, seriously. It doesn't end pretty for your friends." Kariya tells us. I look to Axel brow furrowed.
"Fuck that, we're not going to just let them die!" I snap.
"They're already dead." Uzuki rolls her eyes, as though having to speak to me still is annoying enough to be considered a personal attack.
"I don't actually give a fuck." I remind her.
"Rueks…" Axel mutters, mouth twisted.
"The UG is a lot more dog eat dog than you think, blondie." Kariya warns.
"Ha, let her get stuck here. If she wants to sacrifice herself and get her memories wiped so that she can play the game again and again, let her. And next time, I'll erase her." Uzuki replies, and I have a feeling that if her hair was long enough to toss it, she would.
My stomach drops as I look to my partner. Axel and I lock eyes and that is all it takes for me to make my decision, much as I hate myself for it. I can't lose these memories we made, I can't lose the progress we've made. He can't get stuck here, I want him to be okay, I want us to be okay. We've fought and struggled, I almost died to get us here. Great as Neku and Shiki are, nothing is worth Axel. Nothing ever will be.
"We should get to the Composer's pad." I whisper. Axel wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me in tight, pressing his lips to my temple. His warmth is comforting, just for a second.
Kariya gives us directions to the Shibuya River, and sure enough, there are Neku and Shiki, looking around, confused and curious.
"Hey kids." I say and Shiki nearly falls on her ass. Neku even jumps a little.
"Shit." He mutters.
"You guys scared us!" Shiki chastises. "But you made it!"
"I don't think Kariya was trying." I confess.
"Yeah, but Uzuki wanted you dead, pretty bad." Axel says.
"That she did." I agree. "But, turns out we're pretty resilient."
"So we all made it." Shiki says.
"I don't know." Neku counters.
"What are you talking about, Phones?" Axel asks, and I literally watch a look of utter annoyance cross Neku's features at the use of that nickname.
"Shiki and I have never been here before. Last time we were just in a white light and a voice told us that we had broken the rules and were required to play a penalty game, where our new entry fees were all other players." Neku says.
"Well, who knows. Maybe this means you're off the hook." Axel suggests.
"That's what I was hoping but…This place is so creepy." Shiki decides.
"You're right about that." I agree.
We're all silent for a moment longer before I really think about what Kariya said. Axel and I need to get out of here, yesterday.
"Nothing we can do but keep going though." I say, and that we do.
We continue past the double doors and into a white room with a black leather sofa and an aquarium along the wall. It's beautiful, modern, the Composer's Pad is infinitely cooler than anywhere in the World That Never Was.
"Wait, I've been here." Neku looks as though the breath has been ripped straight from his lungs. His eyes are wild as they fly around the room, and Shiki reaches out to grab his arm, but he tears straight away from her.
"Neku…" She tries.
"You don't remember this?" He snaps and she retreats in on herself, flinching as though she has been hit.
"Where would I remember this from?" She asks, meekly.
"I don't know but…" He clutches his head in his hands. "Goddammit, I've been here before!"
"Oh, Neku, I can never fool you for very long, can I?" A tenor voice singsongs.
Instantly, all four of our heads turn to where a teenage boy with ashy hair, wearing a button down and a pair of slacks, is slow clapping. An impish grin has the boy's features lit as he steps out into the light of the room, eyes on Neku with an excited glint that could light the word for eons.
Or burn civilizations to the ground.
"Joshua." Neku breathes the name and he takes a step forward, toward the boy, instinctively, with his hand out. Joshua laughs.
"Neku, you know this guy?" I ask.
"No…I…yes? I don't know." Neku shakes his head as though he is trying to shake off a migraine.
"You never seem to forget me, no matter what memories I take from you." Joshua closes the distance between himself and Neku and taps the boy on the nose. Neku looks at him, wide eyed and feral. "Really, I'm honored."
"The memories?" Neku asks, brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?"
But Shiki gasps, covering her mouth with her hands.
"Neku, he's the Composer!" She shrieks. Neku breaks in a way that I have never seen a person fall apart before, he falls to his knees, skin sallow like a corpse, eyes wide and empty.
"And dear Shiki. You know, for all of your envy, you really are smarter than Eri. Sorry you had to get roped into this and that I had to…you know." He waves a hand at her as her eyes burn into him.
"I was over my jealousy! I was happy being me!" She screams, hands in such tight fists that she shakes. "How the hell dare you!"
"Oh you say that, but even you, you're only human. You were on a slippery slope, all of you. Beat, Neku, you, even Rhyme. You were forgetting all of the lessons I taught you!" The boy, Joshua claps his hands together. "Beat was falling back into apathy, Rhyme, taking all of those beautiful dreams for granted. Your obsession with Eri was stronger than it had ever been before, look at you now. Still trying to act like her, all I had to do was make you look like her and it was back to the same old Shiki. And Neku? Ha! Oh, he was just as miserable as he was before we started playing our very first game. Of course, you two don't remember all of that, do you?" And with a wave of his hands, Shiki's eyes become the size of saucers and Neku screams, his head cradled in his hands.
"Much better, memories restored." Joshua says, and then turns to Axel and I. "And you two? Such a lovely turn of events. I will say, I wasn't too keen on two new players entering my very special game, but you allowed me the perfect opportunity to recreate an old favorite—the Day 4 annihilation. It always does wonders, bringing Neku and Shiki together."
"You are a sick, twisted fuck." I spit.
"You misunderstand. I just wanted my friends back." Joshua's face is deadly serious. "You see, the five of us played a game, about six months ago. I wanted Shibuya destroyed, Neku, in all of his surliness, was my one obstacle. If he could change, then so could I, and Shibuya would be kept around. And if not, well, I got my way. What I did was quite illegal of course, even as far as Angels go. Even I answer to a higher power. But alas, Neku's heart grew and grew after three consecutive weeks of playing my game with three different partners. He passed my ultimate test and I restored him, Shiki, Beat and Rhyme to life." He shrugs.
"So what the hell happened?" Neku suddenly roars. "Joshua, I had changed, I had—" Neku chokes and sputters, like too much oxygen is coming in all at once.
"Do you ever listen, Neku?" Joshua rolls his eyes. "Of course you changed, but you disappointed me, once again. All of you. You were resorting to old habits. Can't have that, now can we? After all of the progress we made?"
"So you killed us again?" Shiki roars.
"If it helps, you didn't feel a thing." Joshua offers. "In fact, it's been even more of a pain to me. I was banned from reentering the game as a player, but I have been trying so hard to recreate that original game, my masterpiece. I just cannot seem to get it quite right. You pair up all wrong, you end up dying off too early, too late, you don't learn anything, you learn too much. And then there's Minamimoto and how unpredictable he is. He's either the perfect addition to the game, or he tries to kill me."
"So that's what you're trying to do then? Recreate things, treat us like we're pawns in your twisted game?" Shiki asks.
"Well of course. Every time you get it wrong, I wipe your memory, bring you back from erasure and we start from scratch." And then, suddenly, the cocky façade falls away, it crumples as though his mask is made of ash. "The Angels have taken everything else from me. Even my beloved Conductor I couldn't bring back. All I wanted to do was to spend time with my friends again." His voice sounds so miserable, so broken, as though this boy has suffered for millennia.
"Do you seriously expect us to feel sorry for you? After everything, after killing us? After…" Shiki starts to cry, her shoulders heaving.
"Oh dear, dear Shiki. I promise you, nothing will hurt, you won't remember these feelings in just a few seconds." Joshua taps her on the shoulder, looking at her with such sincerity, as though he really doesn't realize just how very wrong this is. "You're safe here, you can look however you want, be whoever you want, you don't age, you don't need to go to school, and even if you die, I can bring you back."
"Do you think it makes a fucking difference?" Neku is finally up off his knees, face hiding in the collar of his shirt. "How…what did you… I trusted you!"
Joshua gives him a weak smile.
"And that is where we have to end things." Joshua replies. "Believe me, Neku. I've lived this a thousand times. This conversation never gets any easier."
Suddenly, my stomach lurches. Joshua brings his hand up.
"Open a portal, now." I order and despite his shock, Axel is quick. He waves his hands, Joshua snaps his fingers, and as the portal opens, Axel yanks me back into the darkness as we watch a white light wash over the room. The portal slowly closes behind us, and before any light can leak in, it snaps shut, enclosing us safely in darkness.
In Axel's arms, I am shaking. His fingernails bite through his gloves into the skin of my arms, clinging to me for dear life. I don't know how long we stay like that, in the cover of the darkness. I don't know how long I shake. I don't know how long it takes before my body finally untenses. All I know is that I am thankful when we are finally tucked into his bed in Castle Oblivion, and sleep finally descends.