The cold sleep chamber had a number of paths running its entire length. Meryl looked up at the top of the chamber. It must have been a thousand feels high.

So many lives on just one ship…

She saw the figure directly in front of her. Even through the freezing haze, she could tell by the spiky silhouette exactly who it was.

Good god. He was in her thoughts and everywhere she went. This was getting stupid.

He didn't seem to notice her presence. She stopped walking and just watched him for a moment. He seemed to be relaxed for a change. He was leaning on his elbows with his legs straight out in front of him facing the other end of the ship. He was gazing at the sleep capsules above them. Slowly, he kept tilting his head back and back and back…until he saw her.

He stopped for a moment, surprise evident on his upside-down face. He finally sat right-side up and turned around to look at her. She couldn't tell by his eyes if he wanted her to stay there or to leave.

She suddenly felt like a very intrusive little insurance girl.

"The door, it was --" He was still watching her, not giving her a clue as to what she should do next. She broke eye contact and looked at her shoes. "I'm just…" She said quietly. She looked at him once more, her eyebrows knit together. "Should I go?"

For a split second, a brief flash of something (need? regret? indigestion?) surfaced in his eyes. He stayed quiet a moment. "Only if you feel like you should." He didn't move to invite her over or turn to push her away. He just watched her.

She figured that was as much a clue as she was going to get. She took a deep calming breath and walked over to sit to the right of him. He followed her with his eyes as she adopted the same position he had been in when she found him. She could feel his eyes on her, but she didn't look at him. Instead, she just looked ahead at the rows and rows of sleep capsules that seemed to go on forever. She realized this place had a weird energy about it…almost a healing sensation. Eventually, she heard him readjust his legs so that he was mirroring her once again.

In this room full thousands of people, they were totally alone. She waited a few minutes expecting him to begin waxing philosophical on the meaning of life or the journey the humans had taken, but instead he said nothing.

Damn, an impasse. These days, every time they were alone together…

She felt something touch her hand and slowly looked down. Vash had slid his arm over so that the length of his pinky was resting just so slightly against hers. Despite her most valiant attempts to remain calm, her heart started thudding against her rib cage. Could he feel that? 'Of course he can, idiot!' she snapped at herself. 'Whether you like it or not, he is Vash the Stampede, remember? He hasn't survived for more than a century by not knowing where his hands were.' There couldn't be any doubt about it, really. He was touching her with his real hand, after all.

She cautiously looked up at his face, stupidly afraid that if he remembered her sitting here beside him, he might move his hand. She didn't have to worry, though. He was still looking up with childlike wonder. She almost looked away, but thought that his chin looked a little weird…a little purple. She hesitated, not wanting to ruin the moment, but his chin really didn't look normal. "Vash?" she asked concerned.

He turned to her and looked into her eyes. "Hnn?"

Her eyes went wide as she finally got a good look at him. She hopped up onto her knees, all thoughts of hand touching obliterated from her mind. "Jeez! What happened to your face?" The entire left side was completely swollen and bruised.

Vash suddenly looked like he'd just been shaken awake. He watched her undo her heavy coat as she searched for something, muttering the entire time. As the coat fell a little off her shoulder, he winced as he saw the already-fading bruises on her neck. She finally found what she was looking for and pulled it out of her pocket. She forced it at him without hesitation. He recognized what she was shoving at him. He took the handkerchief out of her hand and regarded it a moment. How was a dry handkerchief supposed to relieve a swollen cheek? He didn't know, but as he pressed the folded cloth against his face, somehow it did. He found himself wishing there was something he could give her that could make her feel the same way.

"Well?" she asked as she buttoned her overcoat. Right…he hadn't answered, but he didn't want to say anything that might distract her. He liked it when she was like this. It was just too bad he only got this kind of treatment when he was hurt. She gently moved his hand away and looked at the wound more closely a minute before making a sympathetic pained look and settling back on her knees. He pressed the cloth to his cheek again. "You must have been knocked more senseless than usual."

He gave her a lopsided grin. "Too cruel, insurance g--" He remembered what Milly had said about Meryl being off the case. His grin faltered a bit.

Meryl's face went from pained to serious. "Did…Milly do that?"

"Yeah, and she probably would have done a lot worse if Knives hadn't --"

"Knives?!" Meryl practically yelled. "Did he hurt her?"

Shit. "No, Milly's fine! She's --"

"Where is she now?" she demanded.

He winced. "I think…she's talking…to Knives."

"BY HERSELF?!" Meryl seemed to implode with worry before she started to shout again. "Mr. Vash! Of all the incredibly…" She couldn't even put words together properly. "How could you leave them alone?" she pleaded. She knew he was Vash's brother and all, but come on! He was still Knives!

Frustration overtook him. He took the handkerchief and crumpled it into the palm of his hand while he extended his index finger. "She made me!" He pointed to his cheek for emphasis.

Meryl's face went from worried to sad. They really were between a rock and a hard spot. Vash needed to get his brother to stop hating humans, but that meant Knives would have to be exposed to humans…starting with one of the ones she cared about most.

She realized Vash was looking at her. "I'm sorry for yelling," he whispered.

She shook her head and plastered a smile on her face. "It's not that, idiot."

The expression on his face didn't change. She had been right. He could have his pick. This was incredibly stupid, incredibly moronic, incredibly dangerous, incredibly thoughtless, incredibly irresponsible, etc. "I think that it might be a good idea for you and Milly to leave." There. He'd said it. It took him the better part of a week to get it out, but he said it.

"Absolutely not!" she shouted. "This is my jo--" She couldn't catch herself fast enough. Her mind went blank. She'd just been stripped of her best, most useful, safest reason for staying. Shit.

Vash turned away. "No," he whispered. "It's not." He sounded broken. "You're not obligated to stay here anymore."

Double shit. Milly had obviously told him what was going on. She had limited options. Her heart was leaning towards tears, but her mind was totally focused on finding a reason to stay. "What? And I'm just supposed to leave Milly here by herself?"

Vash sighed as he rubbed his tired eyes. Of course there would be an argument. She should leave, too, he thought. It's my job to take care of Knives.

"Jesus Christ!" She erupted unexpectedly. "Would you please stop saying that?"

He looked at her confused. Had he just said that out loud?

"All Milly and I want to do is help and you keep sending us away!"

"But it's not your problem!"

"Listen buddy," she jabbed him in the chest with her finger. "When one of my friends is insinuating that a murder-suicide in the desert is a valid solution, it's my problem. When I have to figure out a way to protect everyone I love from a homicidal plant WITHOUT KILLING HIM, it's my problem. And when I'm almost killed by the very same ungrateful bastard, it's," jab, "my," jab, "problem!"

He knew she was right, but hearing her recount the last few weeks like she just did only served to highlight his most recent bout of gross negligence. He sighed again.

She waited for him to say something, but he didn't. She had two choices: apologize or leave him alone, and she certainly wasn't apologizing. She stood up and turned to go. She stopped and looked at him.

"Vash, you're such an idiot," she said very quietly with a whole lot more tenderness than that combination of words usually garnered. She took a deep breath. She couldn't stop now. "Who's supposed to take care of you?"

He looked up at her, completely caught off guard, and for once, she didn't shy away from his gaze. His heart started pounding. He opened his mouth, but closed it again. What was he supposed to say to that?

"There you two are!"

Both their heads snapped up and looked towards the voice. Vash was both relieved and angered beyond belief to be interrupted right at that moment. Meryl was already walking away from him towards Doc. He'd just wanted that moment to last a little longer. He just wanted to feel that feeling a little more. Maybe with a little more time, he could have thought of what to say.

Doc was talking to him, but he wasn't paying attention. He couldn't get her question out of his head.

Her voice cut through like a bell. "Vash?" she questioned softly. He looked straight at her. "Did you hear any of that?"

No. No he hadn't heard any of it. None of it was important to him at the moment. No Stampede, no gun battles, no maniacal brothers, no nefarious plots. Just her. He wanted to erase the last three minutes so he could have a do-over. And he'd just told her to leave… His heart was heavy with the feeling that something incredible had just passed him by. God, he was staring at her, wasn't he. His fake smile flew onto his face as his fake arm scratched the back of his neck. "Sorry! I missed all of it! My ears must be full of wax!" So stupid. He hoped she hadn't noticed.

Meryl looked at Doc and hesitated before turning back to Vash. "Doc wants to reactivate Knives' arms and he needs your help."

Vash hopped up. "Right-o!" He clapped his hands together. "Lead the way, Doc!"

Meryl stepped back to disengage herself and opened her mouth to excuse herself, but Doc spoke up first.

"And where are you headed, Miss Stryfe?"

Her brain went dead. "I, um, I was going to --"

Doc smiled. "If you don't have anything better to do, would you mind accompanying me? There are a few things I'd like to talk to the three of you about. I think it'll clear up some things."

The walk to Vash's room was slightly painful for everyone. Vash wasn't able to help himself. If he didn't make a fool out of himself right then and there, he might start crying, and if he started crying at this point, he didn't think he was going to be able to stop. He didn't even have a reason to cry. He just knew it would be bad if he started. Any hall he could make the wrong turn down, any vent he could get his finger stuck in, any kind of trouble he could get into on the way to the room, he took the opportunity. His sudden bout of hyperactivity left Meryl frazzled. She was already anxious about what she'd said to Vash and nervous about what Doc was going to say and she didn't need him clowning around like a complete idiot. Doc and Meryl tried to make small talk. He relayed bits and pieces of Milly's experience with Knives, saying the whole situation gave him hope, but they really just couldn't get there soon enough. Doc and Meryl sighed when they finally got to the room. They let Vash go in first.

Vash walked into the living quarters and turned on some lights. He saw Knives exactly where he'd last seen him. He was looking away from Vash.

"Hey," he said carefully. "Doc's here to reactivate your arms."

Knives didn't look at him. "Show him in."

"And…" Vash hesitated. "Doc brought Meryl with him."

Knives didn't say anything. He didn't move a muscle.

Vash sighed. His clown façade was no match for this kind of heaviness. He looked back at the humans and motioned them to come in. Doc walked past him and went straight to Knives. Meryl walked in and took a step past Vash and stopped. She didn't want to go any further. She looked at Knives. He seemed so, docile, so despondent.

He seemed like a different person altogether.

Was it a trap? Was he just trying to lure them in so they would let their guards down? She jumped as she felt a nudge in her back.

"Relax," Vash put on a decent smile. "Nothing's going to happen to you."

She smiled back weakly. "Do…you have anything to drink?"

Vash cocked an eyebrow in surprise. He thought a moment. "Well…I did…" He looked over at the counter covered in empty bottles. Meryl followed his eyes and was shocked at the sight. He got a mischievous glint in his eye and he winked at her. "But…I think I've got you covered." He went to the kitchen and pulled two glasses out of a cabinet and put them on the counter. He pulled his flask out of his back pocket and divided its contents equally. Guilt and apprehension suddenly hit Meryl as she began to feel like the world's biggest enabler. He picked up the glasses and handed one to her. She held it as he clinked his against hers. He smiled at her before downing his drink. He put the glass on the counter. She stared at her glass for a moment before taking a deep breath and downing everything in one go. She coughed a few times and looked at Vash. He looked impressed.

He kept looking at her. He didn't know if she was blushing from the alcohol or from the fact that he had his eyes on her but she looked awfully pretty that way. She looked at the counter and set the glass down. She looked back at him.

She smiled self-consciously as she raised an eyebrow. "What? Is there something on my face?"

Vash smiled back and shook his head. He felt different. He couldn't get her question out of his mind. Nobody had ever asked him that before.

"Alright," Doc said. Vash looked over to see Knives flexing his fingers. "I think we can begin." Meryl shot Doc an apprehensive look. "Come now, everything is okay."

Vash took the lead. Meryl followed. Doc was sitting in the chair facing the couch, so she sat beside Vash, who was sitting in between her and Knives. It was still weird being in the same room with him.

Doc waited for everybody to get settled and then began. He looked them over. Each of them had some sort of bruising on them. They all looked tired. He wondered if telling them any of this really was a good idea. He took a deep breath, knowing, after all, that giving them this information was necessary. "Alright, you three have been through a lot of changes recently and since the research I've been doing is basically all inter-related, I figured I would just tell you all at once." He looked at Knives. "I suspect you've already put together most of the changes to your physiology." Knives nodded. "You no longer have your seeds…" Doc hesitated, "and they cannot be regenerated…but your plant traits remain intact. You simply cannot use your seeds to pull your energy together and magnify it. Considering the way plants age, and your inability to use your energy, I would speculate that you will still live a very long time." He looked between Vash and Knives. "The telepathy plants normally exhibit might be subdued. Have you two tested it out?"

Knives looked at Vash. Vash suddenly whipped his head around and looked at Knives, an annoyed look on his face. "Yeah," Vash said, in a peeved tone. "It still works."

Doc observed. "Excellent. That's excellent." Doc turned back to Knives. "Do you have any other questions?"

Knives shook his head no. "As soon as I get access to a computer console, I'm sure all my questions will have answers."

Doc nodded his head. "Very good." He turned to Vash. "I'm afraid I have a bit of bad news for you." Vash was all attention. He took a deep breath. "My boy, I've told you for almost half a century that you need to start taking care of yourself, but what do you do? You don't even think of yourself, do you?" He paused a moment. "Now, it most certainly isn't a death sentence, but the articles I've dug up on the matter don't paint a very rosy picture, either."

Vash was nervous now. "Just spit it out."

"Your hair…turning black…it means you've used too much energy. You've used your angel arm four times. Each time, you've used an enormous amount of energy. Your body can't sustain that kind of energy expenditure."

Knives stiffened. What was the doctor saying?

Doc addressed Vash again. "That last blast…it was too much. Our satellites picked it up as the strongest blast you've sent out. We corrected for distance and it was still your largest energy expenditure by far." He took a deep breath. "Vash, listen to me carefully. You can't use any more of your plant energy or you will die. As it looks now, your lifespan has already been shortened considerably. Just…keep that in mind and don't do anything rash, okay? This is your life we're talking about."

Vash looked up at the ceiling. That was a lot of information to digest. He felt a pressure on his fake hand. Meryl was squeezing it in hers. He smiled reassuringly. Really, the news was more comforting than anything. After 140 years, he was starting to wonder whether or not he would ever be able to die.

The effect the news had on Knives, however, was not as positive. He had set Vash off twice, and both times, he had justified it by saying it was for his own good…but now, this human was saying that it was killing him. Knives was killing his only brother. Everything he had done since the beginning was for Vash and he was killing him.

Doc turned to Meryl and smiled warmly. "And Miss Stryfe…I'm sorry that I haven't talked to you about this sooner, but I wanted to make absolutely sure before I talked about it. Have you ever heard of 'imprinting?'"

Meryl shook her head, confused.

Vash piped up. "You mean, like a baby duck?"

Meryl looked at him. "What's a duck?"

Doc smiled. "No, not like a baby duck, Vash." He turned to Meryl again. "Miss Stryfe, You've certainly filed reports on plant disaster victims, am I right?" She shook her head yes. It was some of the most harrowing fieldwork she'd had to do. "So you are aware of the strange demographic characteristics of plant workers."

Meryl started to speak cautiously, thinking back to charts she'd had to memorize during school. "Yes…the life expectancy of people who work with plants averages out to be a few years over the general population's life expectancy of 37. Plant owners use this statistic to lure teenagers and young men to work for them, saying the job is safe and stable. What they fail to mention, however is that the median age at which a plant worker dies is a little less than 27 years of age. It is very strange. The average is brought up by a handful of engineers claiming extraordinarily long lives, but most agents brush it off as unreliable data, especially since birth and death records have been in shambles here due to shoddy record keeping between cities and unreliable census counts. I honestly wouldn't even be surprised if it was the government putting out the false statistics just to get new workers in the plants."

Doc nodded approvingly. "Yes, that is correct." Doc seemed to bubble with excitement. "While I was investigating Vash's condition, I came across some very interesting articles that involved the long-life phenomenon of certain plant engineers. You see, Miss Stryfe, those statistics in all likelihood have not been falsified. It seems that the engineers that know what they are doing and take best care of the plants seem to survive longer, while careless workers who damage the plants are harmed. It's as if the same radiation that causes cancer can also fortify, depending on what kind of treatment the plant receives. And there seems to be some kind of residual radiation marker left on the engineer. It's been postulated that plants can then sense these engineers out. There have been a few well-documented cases where plant engineers lived several decades past a century, the most well documented case being that of Count Revenant Vasquez."

Meryl noticed both Vash and Knives stiffen. That was the man Vash was accused of murdering… He had lived in July. If he was dead, did that mean Knives had killed him?

"Yes, the count was at least 130 years old, but in one of the files I found, I discovered a very interesting bit of information. It turns out that he might have actually been closer to 170 years old. It seems too fantastic to be true, but he might have been an original SEEDS ship crew member named William Conrad."

William Conrad? Meryl blinked as images flooded her memory. She saw a man and a woman leaning against a tree in a green field. She felt nervous, but the man came up and was kind. She felt unending gratitude towards him. She saw a child crying…he looked like…Knives.

She suddenly glared openly at Knives, but he didn't look back at her. He'd killed him. He'd killed that nice man… That BASTARD!

Doc was still talking excitedly. "—partially explains your recent abilities to heal so fast. That will probably wear off eventually, but it's hard to tell, considering most engineers are exposed to only a fraction of the radiation you've been exposed to their entire lives. There might be some other strange side effects…some engineers reported apparitions of the dead and other strange extrasensory sensations, but this is just--" Doc's eyes flitted over to Vash momentarily and he stopped. He looked absolutely stricken. "Vash…are you alright?"

What had he done? What had this cursed body done? Was Doc saying what he thought he was saying? Had he so lengthened Meryl's lifespan beyond its normal range? This was almost worse than killing her. God, she could hate him forever. He looked at her, his eyes heavy with unspoken apologies. For her part, she looked shocked, but not particularly hateful. That would change, though, he was sure of it. Having to watch her loved ones be claimed by time, aging imperceptivity slowly…having to move from town to town so no one recognized her…not being able to let anybody in because she'd live on while everyone around her died…she would eventually grow to hate the body she was trapped in, and she'd grow to hate him, as well.

What had he done?

He felt her hand gently rest on his shoulder and he heard her ask what was wrong. He couldn't take it. He had sentenced her to this kind of existence and she was trying to comfort him? He gently took her hand into his and placed it on the couch. Then he stood and without saying anything, he went to his room.

Meryl was at a loss for words. Things suddenly made sense. She was about to jump up and go after Vash when Knives caught her in his gaze.

"I believe it's time for the two of you to leave."

She looked at Doc. He nodded and they saw themselves out.

Knives sighed, relaxing a bit now that the humans were gone. He looked at Vash's room. Everything he'd done, it had all been in an effort to help Vash see the truth. He sent the humans after Vash in an effort to force Vash back to him, but it never worked. They carved scar after scar into his body, but they never had the power to kill him. Only he had that power.

And he'd used it.

Meryl walked with Doc to her room. She really was at a loss for words. This was not something she imagined would happen to her in a million years. She had a good education, a good job, a partner who cared about her, and an assignment that promised fast promotions and a prosperous future upon her return. Now, everything looked questionable. Well, she still had the education, but her job…would she really be able to take another assignment after this? And Milly would always care, but at this point, she wasn't even her partner really. Her assignment: Vash. Now she didn't even have that. And her future? It was wide open...frighteningly so.

Doc bid her farewell at her room and she waited for him to walk away before she turned towards Milly's quarters. Milly opened up and she launched her small body at her. She held Milly tight.

"What's wrong, Meryl?" Milly asked concerned.

"I think…I need to leave," she said as calmly as she could.

"You mean...? But why?" Milly pulled Meryl away from her body to get a good look at her.

Where should she start? She'd abused her post to stalk the man she loved. She'd purposefully failed to report vital identifying information and history about Vash the Stampede, which was, by definition, an act of treason. She had recently become too personally involved in the case to continue working on it in good faith. Milly was going to have to report her demotion in her next assignment if she didn't show up at headquarters on her own. Throw in the fact that Vash would probably hate himself every time he saw her, and it was pretty clear that she had to leave. It was the only ethical decision she could make.

"I just…" She sighed. She couldn't tell her. "Milly…he asked me to."

Milly clearly had mixed feelings about this. "Does he know you decided to go?"

Meryl started crying. "I haven't told him yet."

Milly gathered her in a hug again. "You should really tell him, you know." She paused for a moment. "Do you want me to go with you?"

Meryl nodded vigorously against Milly. "Can I sleep here tonight?" she sobbed.

Milly nodded her head. "Yeah, of course you can stay here tonight."

She waited until afternoon. Milly went with her just like she promised. Milly hit the intercom button and they waited in front of the door. It slid open, Vash standing just beyond it. He looked so exhausted and sad it broke her heart. He looked surprised to see them. Meryl almost didn't have the courage to go through with it, but Milly pushed her inside. Vash stepped back and walked into the kitchen as they entered. He looked at the ground and rubbed the back of his neck with his real hand in a much more sedate version of his normally ridiculous gesture. He didn't make eye contact.

Meryl looked around and saw Knives sitting in the chair in the living room. He didn't really pay attention to them. "Are we interrupting anything?" Meryl asked.

Vash shook his head no, but didn't say anything else.

She wished he would look at her, but it would probably make it harder to say what she was going to say. She took a deep breath. "I've decided…that it is in the best interest of everyone involved…if I return to the Bernardelli Insurance headquarters in December. My position as field agent has been compromised and I can no longer claim to be an objective observer. I've secured a seat on the next caravan out of here."

Knives spoke up without looking at them. "Milly can't leave."

Milly smiled, a little touched. "Now, now. I most certainly can leave, but don't worry, Mr. Knives. I'm not going anywhere."

Vash didn't look at her. "So, you're really going?"

She tried to control her chin. "Yes…unless…there's a reason to stay that I've overlooked…"

He sighed, he was still looking at the counter. "You should go if you feel like you should."

Meryl almost lost it, but she kept it together. That's not what she wanted him to say. She swallowed all her sorrow and put on a happy face. "Right!" She took a deep breath. "Well, I guess I should finish packing." She walked to the door and turned around. "Good…bye…"

He didn't look at her.

As soon as the door slid shut behind her, Milly glared at Vash. "You're just going to let her go? Without even a goodbye?" She stepped closer to him and realized he was weeping. She wanted in turns to hug him and pound the crap out of him. He finally made eye contact and her heart broke. She was suddenly sorry. "I apologize. I know this is hard for everybody. But you should have said goodbye. Sempai deserves that…if nothing else. You'll hate yourself if you miss the chance, and you know it."

With that, she left, leaving the two brothers in silence.

Vash sat around for a few hours thinking about what Milly had said. He needed to say something to her. He need at the very least to apologize for everything that had happened since she'd become involved with him. He just couldn't believe she was actually leaving. She'd become such a fixture in his life. He didn't know what it was going to be like without her.

He slipped out of his room and walked to Meryl's. He hesitated, wondering if it was the right thing to do to try to talk to her. On impulse, he hit the intercom button and waited.

No one answered.

He held it down. "Meryl? It's me."

Still no answer. She was probably still angry with him.

"I just…would like to talk to you for a minute…I couldn't think of what to say...before."

Still no answer. Had he already pushed her too far away?

"If you decide you want to talk to me, I'll be waiting outside."

With that, he stepped backwards until he hit the wall and slid down to the ground. He wasn't going to move from this spot until she came out.

AN: ok. an update. i hope you guys like it.

btw,

THANKS FOR ALL THE FREAKING AWESOME REVIEWS! You guys sure did like that last chapter! I hope this one pleases as well!!!