By Friday Caroline felt like her brain was full. The first week at a new job was always tough, but this felt harder than it had previously. Caroline felt like she was getting old at work, which had never happened before, and it was hard not to be impatient with intransigent staff and systems that were well passed their prime. She was right about Sheryl, her P.A., who seemed to blossom with someone decent at the helm. Doug, the young 32-year-old Deputy Head was also going to be a godsend. Caroline had even managed to delegate some of the new research and report collection to him.

It wasn't all bad but too many systems had been left to founder. Fortunately Doug had some innovative ideas and Caroline was planning to implement the better ones. She could see that she and Doug were going to work well together and that was a relief. It gave her more confidence that she could actually pull off this miracle.

Meetings with the Academic Heads and the various student delegates had absorbed most of her week. She was starting to get a better sense of how the school ran and what needed to be done. Her last meeting on Friday afternoon was with the school social worker. Caroline's eyebrows had snuck higher under her blonde fringe when Annafrid was shown into her office and she tried to wipe the flirtatious smile off her face as the tall, dark and attractive woman walked in.

Caroline stood and held out her hand. "Caroline McKenzie-Dawson. You must be Annafrid," she managed to get out. Caroline was kicking herself for being tired enough to give the game away when her blue eyes met clear brown eyes and a knowing grin spread upon Annafrid's face.

"It really is a pleasure to meet you Caroline." They shook hands and Annafrid held on for that fraction too long, causing Caroline to draw in a breath just a bit too sharply.

"Take a seat" Caroline suggested, waving to one of the chairs set to one side of the office. She was absolutely not falling for anyone at work again but then she was having trouble not flirting with this striking looking woman. Ever since her ex-husband's affair and the breakdown of their marriage, Caroline's latent queerness had risen from the depths of her subconscious to become front and centre. She found herself checking out women as they walked by, trying to be discreet, but there were times it was hard not to be obvious. She felt like a kid in a sweet shop when she was in a room full of women, not that she'd admit that to herself most days, let alone anyone else. She sat in a chair opposite Annafrid and stalled for time by taking a sip of water as a small flush rose up her neck.

She decided the best distraction was to continue with the fact-finding mission she had begun with the other meetings this week. "Tell me about the social support programs we have here, and what improvements you think would be worth implementing in the next six months."

Annafrid took a breath and launched into a detailed explanation of the programs and possible improvements. What Caroline hadn't anticipated was the subtle lilt of a Norwegian accent. She found it implausibly seductive and kept surreptitiously looking at Annafrid's mouth. It really wasn't helping her to keep her body under control. Normally she had a great poker face, but this afternoon it had completely abandoned her. Pressing her nails into the soft skin of her palms seemed to be the only way of persuading her body to retain some sort of control. It may have been only a month since she'd broken up with Olga, but she liked sex and her body was clearly not liking the lack of it. It felt like open rebellion when she became aware she was staring at the rhythm of the pulse at Annafrid's neck. It made her feel like a bloody vampire. Caroline swallowed to moisten her dry throat and thought of her mother; anything to will her body and brain into submission.

Knowing that she'd completely lost track of Annafrid's thoughtful discussion, Caroline resorted to the middle manager's tactic of getting it in writing. "Cogently argued. Would you please send Doug and me a brief report with some recommendations and an explanation of why you would choose those options for the school? That would help us to formulate a plan for the next year or so."

"I can do that. I'll have it for you next week."

"Great. Thank you." Standing up to signal the end of the meeting, they shook hands and nodded their goodbyes. Caroline was hugely relieved when she managed not to embarrass herself any further before Annafrid left the office. Shutting the door, she collapsed against it, berating her ovaries. "What the hell is wrong with you, you mutinous mongrels? Not playing fair, are you." She twigged she was talking out loud to herself and then she really felt like she was losing it. She looked skyward, shook her head slowly and thought she'd better head home before she really blew it.

.

.

The bar was getting rowdy, reflecting the Friday night revelry of those released from a week of work. The dining area was thankfully quieter and sitting alone at a table was Gillian. A bottle of red wine sat on the table and a glass had already been drained before Caroline strode in. Full of apologies for being late, Caroline shucked out of her coat, sank heavily into a chair and commenced pouring a large red for them both. She downed half a glass of the cabernet sauvignon before she came up for air and properly looked at Gillian.

"Sorry I'm late. It's been a hell of a week. How are you? How is it without Robbie?"

"Not too bad considering. It's a bit of a relief to be honest. I've noticed how nice it is to have the house to myself now." Gillian paused, rotating the stem of her wine glass. "It all seems so quiet at the farm, what with Raff and Ellie living with Harry and me only having Calam a few days a week. I've really missed the quiet."

The waiter passed by their table, dropping off menus and topping up their glasses. "It's almost like I wasn't really married to him, Robbie. It never really felt real, somehow. I liked him, but I don't miss him."

"I always thought you married him out of guilt. I mean, I know you got on with him, but I always thought it was strange that you went through with it after he told you he knew about Eddie." Bluntness coming to the fore with her tiredness, Caroline pushed it further. "It felt like you were doing penance rather than marrying him because you cared for him."

"Yeah. Maybe." Gillian hadn't quite realised that Caroline had understood her that well. It was a bit of a shock to be seen that clearly. She stared at her glass, slowly swirling the red liquid around watching the lights from above create new colours in the wine.

Caroline wasn't going to let on that she thought Robbie was a gutless shit for letting his brother knock Gillian around so badly, and for so long, without doing anything about it. The fact that he was a police officer just made it worse. She thought she might have killed Eddie herself if she'd been in Robbie's position.

"So what happens now?"

"I dunno. It isn't like we've actually got divorced or anything. And I don't know where he's going. I don't think even he knows where he's going, so it will be up in the air for a while. I guess we'll get divorced eventually, just to finish it properly. Raff isn't liking it much, but he's been really good about it."

Gillian took in a deep breath and picked up the menu, signalling that she was done with the topic of conversation. It needed more time to settle, she knew that. It was all a bit raw even though it felt like the closing of a chapter. She was really hoping the Greenwood brothers would be gone from her life and she could start fresh, although she couldn't really imagine what that would look like. She had functionally been with one or other of the brothers for all of her adult life, and she was now 48.

Caroline glanced at the menu, already knowing what she was going to choose. The advantage, and disadvantage, of eating at the same place most Fridays were the lack of surprises. It suited them both, this comfortable habit. She looked up as the waiter passed by again and she flagged him down. "I'll have the chicken and salad, please." She glanced at her dinner companion, who nodded, "and she'll have a medium steak, with chips and vegetables. Thanks Tom." They handed over the menus and leaned closer to one another again.

"So, tell me," the blonde smirked, "What are you going to do now you have all this free time and space?"

Gillian laughed. "Trust you to go there, you twat." She wriggled in her seat. "I'm not planning anything yet, but you'll be the first to know." She chuckled, wagging her finger at Caroline. "God, you really are a..."

"I know. I just wanted to make you laugh." Caroline beamed, thankful that the farmer had let her lighten the mood so easily.

The mood settled into a more comfortable one and they both contemplated the changes brought about by Robbie's departure. It was a while before Gillian broke the spell.

"So tell me about your week? Did it get any better after Monday?"

"It did. There is still an enormous amount to do, and I'm still not sure it can be done, but I do have a better sense of how big the problem is and how entrenched the culture. There will be a way to turn it around, but I've no idea how to do it yet. Too many people with vested interests in keeping it the same I think, and I'll have to sideline or get rid of them before much can change. There are some bright spots though; the Deputy Head is great and there are a few things we can do that will make a difference quite quickly. I'm hoping that will keep the Governors off my back for a few months at least."

Thinking about school triggered memories from this afternoon's meeting with Annafrid and a flush crept up Caroline's neck. It didn't escape Gillian as it was the first time she'd seen it since Kate had died. She was wondering if she knew the woman who had inspired that physical response. Gillian was such a close observer of the cosmos of Caroline that she was sure she'd have noticed if Olga had caused it; Olga who'd been Caroline's sporadic bed partner for months but who'd been left behind in the move.

"Are you thinking about Olga, or someone new?" Gillian asked.

An embarrassed laugh escaped from the blonde. "Oh I told you, Olga and I broke up a month ago. Well, I know she came to the play just before Christmas but I didn't really want her there. It's all a bit weird actually. I've stopped taking her calls. It was never anything serious, you know that. It was a bit of...I don't know. A bit of pleasure, something light after all the...after Kate."

Caroline looked at her hands and thought how much she was ageing, how she could feel her body changing. "No, it's something else entirely. It's like my body's rebelling. I had a meeting today with one of the staff and it was like someone had waved this beaker of pheromones under my nose." She squirmed in her chair. "I don't do that. It wasn't me at all. And I am NOT falling in love with someone at work. Never again."

Gillian laughed. "That'd be fun. Can you imagine that getting out?"

Caroline nearly choked on her wine. "Now that would seal my reputation."

"I can see the headline, 'Lesbian Head Teacher in sexcapade at new school.'" Both women were laughing now, garnering attention from the other diners.

"I'd never work again."

"And Celia, can you imagine!" Gillian hooted at the thought of Celia's reaction to Caroline having another dalliance with someone at school.

"She'd never let me forget it."

"So what does she look like, this enchantress of Crow Wood Park?"

"Ha! She's hardly that. She's a social worker and all very professional." Caroline sighed and became more serious. "I don't really think it was about her at all. Perhaps I'm tired. Perhaps it's my hormones. I don't know. It's been a big week."

Their dinner arrived and they were both hungry enough to focus on the food, with a gentle camaraderie settling between them as so often happened. After dinner, acknowledging that it had been a big week for both of them, they welcomed an early night.

Walking to their cars, they come together for a hug, sighing as they leant into one another. The gentle hug became something else for Caroline, as she become hyper aware of the parts of her body that were touching Gillian's. She swallowed hard and tamped down that little flicker as soon as she recognised it. Of all the times for her body to start tingling in her interior, this was not it. Nope. Not again. Definitely not.

She released Gillian and suddenly and kissed her on the cheek, hoping that she hadn't alerted Gillian to her odd behaviour and prayed her physical response wouldn't be apparent in the dim lighting of the car park.

"Night. Safe home."

"You too. Bye."

"Bye. Bye bye."

They climbed into their vehicles and Gillian drove off with a wave, leaving Caroline sitting alone in her car with her thoughts. She had no idea what was going on. And since when had she been attracted to Gillian? She'd never thought of her that way. Well, if she was honest, she had noticed Gillian's hands with those strong and slender fingers. And that rump that was so firm and luscious and "What the hell Caroline?" she berated herself. It was as if moving out of that house filled with memories of Kate and John had set off a reaction in her body and she was now surrounded by land mines, never knowing when one would go off. She dropped her head onto the steering wheel and hoped it would soon go back to normal.