It's a Long Road to Redemption, Kacchan
Summary: "How does it feel to be quirkless, Kacchan?" / Deku followed Bakugou's advice and took a swan dive off the roof. Five years later they meet again and Izuku has a peculiar quirk that happens to be the hero's greatest weakness. (Alternate Universe: Villain!Deku, Bakudeku).
On Your Knees
Katsuki can sense pain and desperation behind the words. He starts to question Izuku's sanity and whether anyone, even a person as strong and stubborn as him, can remain sane after all he's been through.
Everyone has a breaking point and he can't even begin to imagine (he can but doesn't want to) what Deku was put through at the hands of the villains.
The sudden mood swings, the detached look in those green eyes he used to know so well – it all spells a lack of sanity to him.
"So, how are you going to punish me?" he challenges, buying time, "You have some shitty plan? Start with a little villain monologue?"
Deku smirks at him but doesn't respond.
"Knowing you, you probably made a whole fucking power point presentation about it," he adds, trying to sound like he usually does, insert a sense of normalcy they've lost a lifetime ago.
Izuku leans closer to him and he has the urge to fight back but thinks against it. After all he's not planning on provoking the other into using his powers again.
"Oh, Kacchan, you know me so well," he points out, green eyes stained with a tint of nostalgia.
There's a beat of silence and Bakugou can hear the winter wind howling outside.
"If we were in some other story, we'd be lovers by now."
The hero can't help but snort, a spark of amusement igniting in his chest. For all his hatred for Deku as a kid, he always found him cute.
(Not that he'd ever admit it, even with a gun pointed to his head. Bakugou thinks boys shouldn't find other boys cute. Or maybe they should, as long as they're not like him, screwed in the head.
He doubts he can love anyone other than himself. Not to mention murderers probably don't have the right to be in love. )
"You read too much manga kid,"
Midoriya chuckles but it's tainted, more bitter than sweet.
A small, barely explore part of Bakugou craves to see the other smile the way he did when they were kids. Before quirks, before he took a sledge hammer to their friendship and before Deku jumped off a roof and ended everything before it even began.
He doesn't know why he wants to see that sunny, radiant smile. Perhaps that's the only way he can truly believe the other is alive and not a figment of his twisted imagination.
"I've always thought we were connected Kacchan," the villain admits in the end, after a pause that goes on for too long, "I just wish it didn't come this."
The hero allows himself a small shake of his head, "Yeah, me too."
xxx
"So what's your fucking plan?" he challenges later that day, when the silence it too much to bear and the villain refuses to give any answers on his own, "You gonna have some dumb villain speech and give me all the nitty-gritty details?"
"Now who talks geek?"
Katsuki doesn't press further, even as his impatience is suffocating. It seems to amuse Midoriya, as though it's all a game. There's a beat of silence, the other drumming slender fingers against the metal of the bars.
"The plan is simple: I torture till it drives you insane to the point where you can't deny anything the villains have to offer because all you want is for the pain to stop. Then the League lets my mum go."
Bakugou doesn't dare meet his eyes or show the fear that holds his heart in its grasp. From what he can tell, Deku can probably sense the emotion anyway through his quirk.
There's a pause, as though he hesitates with the next words,
"Oh, Kacchan," Izuku's voice desperate and lost, "Don't be so hopeless, I'll only follow your example. This way my mother gets to live and I get to save someone, for once."
xxx
After the third time Deku makes the feelings in his chest explode Bakugou doesn't bother hide the tears. He hasn't passed out this time though so a small part of him clings onto the hope that maybe, just maybe the other is holding back.
"What is in it for you, other than seeing me suffer?"
Izuku pulls his hand away, as though badly burnt by the question.
"I don't like seeing you suffer," he admits, voice barely above a whisper and shaky, "But this needs to be done. Ever since I was given this…power I just-I just, can't help it, Kacchan."
Katsuki opens his mouth to speak but the other beats him to it, blurting out the next words,
"The…lust for revenge I feel, it won't stop until I do this."
Bakugou can only nod, leaning in against the wall as he takes a deep, steadying breath. Part of him wants to punch him so hard he leaves an imprint but the other, more mature part, knows he needs to help him.
Revenge seeking or not this is Deku and one thing he'll always be certain in is the kid has a good heart. Even if it's tainted, even if it's broken and beating when it shouldn't, it's still there and all he has to do is reach for it.
"Your power screws with your own emotions, huh?"
Izuku nods,
"I always wished for a quirk so badly…I never knew how far I was willing to go to get one."
Katsuki reads the desperation and self-hatred behind the words, perhaps because he speaks the same language. How to make it disappear though – that he doesn't know.
(If only Kirishima were here, he'd find a way to get through to him.)
"When All for One gave me this quirk, I was so damn happy about it at first I didn't even think about the meaning behind…"
So that's how he got his power. Bakugou shakes his head, "Yeah, you fucked up big time."
A laugh echoes through the room, bitter and cynical on Deku's lips,
"Guess you were right to call me a failure all along,"
The hero opens his mouth to protest but Izuku never gives him the chance, already jumping to another topic. It's as though being a failure is a fact to him, something that's not up for debate.
"Best part is I was only given this power because of you," he adds, snorting at the irony, "As a way to get to you. All for One thinks I'm the only one who can drive you insane so you can join."
"He's probably right," Bakugou shoots back, before he can stop himself. He's too tired to filter his words, make sure he looks strong when Izuku has already seen him on his knees, at his most vulnerable state.
"At least this way you'll learn more about your powers," he adds for good measure, "Who the fuck knows, maybe some sense will come back to that moss head of yours and you'll actually use them for good."
Deku shakes his head, matted curls flying from one direction to the other. The look he shoots him is so dejected it does something funny to his heart.
"I told you that ship sailed a long time ago, Kacchan," he mumbles, voice bearing more finality than he can handle, "The road to redemption is closed to me."
Bakugou doesn't have any magical words of comfort and he feels small and useless, a mirror image of the way he made the other feel.
"That's some fucking self-pity bullshit and we both know it."
xxx
Hours morph into days and Katsuki struggles to keep counting the times the sun goes red in the evenings.
He screams and fights and even tries to reason but Izuku doesn't bulge, the stubbornness he's always known he possesses coming to surface.
He doesn't lose hope though, he can't lose hope. Not because of himself – a part of him knows with the clarity of a cold January morning he deserves this. It's because of the civilians and the heroes, it's because of his parents and Inko too that he must hold on and keep trying to save Deku.
(Having a resolute doesn't make it easier to withstand the pain though and there are times, when Izuku makes the emotions in him explode like canon fire when he wishes he'd just end him).
When the villain's hand slams against his chest and it sends him into the darkness again Bakugou feels as though he's losing it.
So, when he comes back he does to one thing he's never thought he would:
He begs.
"Just, fuck, please, just stop this," he whispers, voice so small and broken he doubts it's his own, "Please just find the strength in your fucking heart of gold and forgive me!"
Deku pulls his hand away immediately, as though hurt. Shock flashes through familiar green eyes and he appears lost, like a kid who's just been told Santa isn't real.
"Kacchan begging me?" he mumbles, incredulous, "Am I dreaming?"
Katsuki shakes his head, blonde locks swaying before his vision. His own hair appears longer and he has to wonder – how much time has passed?
"You don't look so tall now that you're on your knees, Kacchan," Izuku goes on and sounds more broken that triumphant or gloating, "I thought you'd last longer before begging me to let you go. I thought you wouldn't beg at all…"
Bakugou snickers, a spark so bright igniting his chest it illuminates the darkness,
"You think…I'm begging you because of myself?" he demands and he can't help the quiet laughter that edges on hysteria,
"Fuck that!"
The villain doesn't seem to follow,
"I'm only begging you to stop because you can't let this happen! You can't let those fuckers at the League use me against civilians to do God knows what!"
Deku takes a step back and he can read the surprise on his face as clear as day,
"I told you they have eyes on my mother, Kacchan!" He snaps, an explosive mix of anger and desperation to his gaze, "It's not like I have a choice!"
"You do!" Bakugou bellows, rattling in his chains, like a captured animal desperate to flee, "You could let me fucking help you, I already told you this!"
The villain shakes his head frantically,
"No, no, no. You'd never help anyone. All you care about is yourself, why the hell should I trust you?"
Katsuki takes a deep breath, taking in the lost, frantic look on the other's pallid face. He can see Midoriya is losing it and suddenly there seems to be only one way out,
"You know what, why don't you fucking kill me then!?" he demands harshly, in a bout of bravery that tatters on insanity, "Why don't you fucking end me if you hate me so damn much!?"
Deku takes another step back, shock flashing through his eyes as he puts a hand over his mouth, horrified by the mere idea.
"If that's what it takes to stop you from doing all this crap – fucking kill me now! Tell the villains I attacked you or some shit, tell them I left you no damn choice!"
Izuku's lips curl into a small o-shape, so stunned he appears unable to speak.
"If it's going to give you peace, then fucking do it, damn it!" he whispers, unsure what else to say, "I sure as hell deserve it. And this way…at least the villains don't get to use me as a weapon."
There's a beat of silence and then a few quiet footsteps, inching closer. His experience screams at him he should be afraid and yet he can't bring himself to be. Even after everything, even after Deku makes him feel all those horrible, wretched emotions he can't bring himself to be scared of death or of him.
He isn't sure if it's bravery or stupidity, all he knows is he wants to make the other forgive him and he wants him to see the light, break away from the villains and tell the heroes of the danger upon society.
If that spells his own death, then the price is pretty low.
"You really mean that?"
Katsuki shivers as he feels Deku's fingers on his naked shoulder, cold and slippery. He closes his eyes, takes a shuddering breath,
"Yes."
He can hear Izuku licking his lips and can read the hesitation in him without a glance,
"You're ready to die because you think it might help others…" there's a pause, one begging for answers, "Because it might help me?"
Bakugou's pride flares and a small, juvenile part of him wants to scream no, wants to hide behind walls of swears and hatred he's spent a lifetime building. But that's not all there is to him and a bigger, better part of him makes him turn around and look straight into Deku's eyes,
"Yes, you damn nerd."
Midoriya's lips curl into a brittle looking smile, like an autumn leaf ready to be torn away from its branch,
"And if it doesn't work?"
Katsuki snorts, "Then at least I did all I could, even if it means I don't fucking live to see the outcome."
They spend a few minutes in silence, Deku's eyes locked on his, like sunflowers chasing the sun. He appears to search for lies, still hesitant to let himself trust.
"You…really have changed, Kacchan." he whispers in the end, voice quiet and small yet speaking volumes.
Izuku raises a hand to wipe a few stray tears away and Katsuki flinches as he takes in the scars on the underside of his wrist.
"Why?" he asks, the look on his face inching closer towards hope, "The Kacchan who told me to jump off the roof would never put others before himself."
Bakugou leans back, head thumping against the cold wall. Lying or refusing to answer is not an option this time. There's no point to it, not when Deku has seen him at his lowest already. Not when he's never felt closer to anyone than he does to him.
"UA, probably." He admits with a grunt, "Those bastards there…they really are something."
Izuku's expression morphs into a smile and it appears the closest thing to its former one. So close, it almost looks real.
"Yeah, I can imagine…they all look so kind, so selfless…So heroic."
Katsuki grumbles, a lazy smirk making its way on his face, "You'd fawn over each and every fucking one of them,"
Kirishima and Uraraka, Kaminari and Jirou, even Todoroki's faces float before his eyes and his mind strays, painting different pictures in broad strokes for him. Somehow he can easily imagine a different world, one where Deku gets to live and thrive and get into UA through some insane machinations.
He can see class 1A becoming his friends, can imagine Izuku inserting himself into their lives with his bright smile, kind words and undying enthusiasm. They'd welcome him, even that cold half and half bastard Shouto.
That world, as beautiful as it seems, shatters when his eyes open and he's met by the black bars of the cell.
"They'll come for me Deku," it's not a suggestion, not a promise, it's a fact, plain and simple.
He knows they'll search for him as well as he knows the back of his palm.
Izuku leans in closer and he can feel matted curls tickle his bare shoulder. The touch does something to him and he can sense an unfamiliar emotion set root somewhere deep in his heart.
(It's wrong to even think about it, about them and yet he does.)
Deku sucks in a breath and when he speaks he doesn't sound threatening, just tired and perhaps a tad bit hopeful,
"Are you sure the other heroes are going to come for you?"
Bakugou's fingers curl into fists by his side as determination runs through his body,
"Yes."
He doesn't have to say more for shock to be written over Deku's face.
"Despite who you are as a person and how you treat others?"
For the first time in days Bakugou's lips curl into a small, bittersweet smile as his mind flies to the people he can begrudgingly call his friends,
"It's not about who I am as a person, it's about who they are."
xxx
(Past)
For the longest time Bakugou's relationship with his classmates is everything he's thought it would be: Nothing beyond empty chatter.
Despite Kirishima's efforts he makes it a mission to be on his own, no fake friends this time around.
He eats alone in the cafeteria, music blasting in his headphones so loud he wonders if he might go deaf these days. He trains alone as well and when he needs a sparring partner Aizawa conveniently rolls into the gym without saying a word.
Teens love stereotypes and Katsuki fits into the made up hierarchy like a missing piece of the puzzle. He's the one with the loud mouth and the bad temper, the kid no one wants to be around and everyone questions why he even bothers be a hero.
"I'm scared Bakugou guy might be the traitor!" Mineta – better no one as purple creep in his head whispers one day, from the back of the class, "I bet the villains sent him to infiltrate us!"
Katsuki introduces him to his fist repeatedly and doesn't hear the rumour again. He still sees the fear in the eyes of his classmates, and he'd have to be blind to miss the way they pull away from him in the hallways.
Hatred and fear, those are the only emotions people seem to have for him these days.
Then there's Kirishima.
Bakugou tries everything in his power to keep the boy away from himself, shove away every offer for friendship, stomp each tiny gesture of camaraderie.
"You wanna go out today, dude?"
He says no every time but that doesn't appear to work on the redhead.
"How about you sit with us for lunch, Blasty?"
He punches him but Shitty Hair merely activates his quirk and that's the end to it. He walks away with a grin and a promise to come ask him again every time.
xxx
"You were so good at the festival!"
The words do something funny to him, bringing about a wave of memories he'd rather have buried. It reminds him of mossy green hair and eyes wide in amazement, of Deku who always showered him with praise and love only to have abuse in return.
"I fucking know, damn it!" is what he shouts back, not even bothering to think it through, "You don't need to kiss my ass, weirdo."
Something akin to hurt flashes through Kirishima's eyes, as though the words have struck a chord. His fingers curl into fists by his sides,
"And you don't need to act like a fucking asshole all the time."
Bakugou raises an eyebrow at that. It's the first him he sees him angry and he'd be an idiot to miss the switch in the atmosphere between them.
"You wanna say something to me, bad dye job?"
He isn't entirely sure how it happens, all he knows is he is the one to throw the first punch. This time though Kirishima fights back.
Katsuki charges at him, the other easily ducks. He lands a fist straight to his face but the redhead activates his quirk and it doesn't produce the needed result.
"You fucking bastard, how many times do I have to tell to just leave me the hell alone!?"
He loses track of the time they spend like this, how many profanities they exchange.
"And I told you, I'm not going to just fucking leave you!" Kirishima snaps back and even in his rock form he can read the determination in those red eyes.
"Why the fuck not!?"
Another explosion, another dodge.
"Because you look like you need a friend, damn it!"
Katsuki's eyes widen in shock at the suggestion and for a fraction of a second Deku's pale, freckled face floats before him.
Kirishima loses his focus, raising a normal hand towards him, as though to offer comfort. It's proves to be a mistake.
Bakugou slams a gloved fist into his face so hard he can hear the bone snap and the other goes down like a sack of potato.
"What the hell man!?" the redhead yelps, fingers curling around his nose as blood pools in his palm.
Katsuki straddles his torso, not caring how it looks to the outside world. He grabs a handful of his school uniform and yanks him closer, to get the point across,
"Don't you fucking dare look down on me, you damn rock like freak!" he snaps, voice becoming louder with each word.
Kirishima shrinks underneath him, his fury gone and reduced to something else, akin to shame and regret. It makes a spark of remorse ignite in Bakugou's chest but he quickly puts it out. He needs to teach the other a lesson, needs to make sure he stays away from him, for his own good.
"Don't you dare waltz around me like a fucking knight in shining armour who's saving damn princess!"
Eijirou's eyes widen and he can read the wave of shock that washes against the bright red of his irises. Katsuki raises his hands and rubs his palms together, little sparks igniting and the shock morphs into horror.
"Bakugou Katsuki, that's enough!"
Aizawa's levelled; firm tone sends a jolt of surprise down his spine. For a fraction of a second he loses concentration and a small voice at the back of his mind begs to ask just as to what the hell is he doing. Naturally he ignores that voice, the one that sounds an awful lot like Deku.
"Step away from Kirishima, now,"
Silencing the choir of pleas from his classmates who gather as onlookers, he readies himself to teach Kirishima a lesson-
And then – nothing happens. Sweat trickles down his palms and the fury in his chest explodes but other than that there are no explosions.
"Fuck you!" he snaps immediately, tearing his gaze away from the redhead and onto his teacher, "What kind of fucking right do you have to get involved! This is between me and him!"
Aizawa looks unimpressed, face as impassive as always, hands in his pockets. As though he's seen a handful of troublesome kids in his days and Katsuki is just another one of them, as though he can fix him with some wise words and a pat on the back.
"And what kind of right do you have to attack a classmate for offering you help?"
Bakugou is about to lash out when a fist comes straight into his face out of nowhere.
"Don't you fucking dare hit Kirishima ever again, you ungrateful narcissist!"
Katsuki is left to stare at the sight of a very pissed off Kaminari as he pulls away his fist and squats down next to his best friend.
"Eijirou, you okay, man?"
He doesn't miss the way his voice switches from fury and disgust to sympathy and care when he addresses the other boy.
For a short glimpse of time Bakugou doesn't even register the humiliation he's been dealt. Then the anger is back, stronger than ever, and he's ready to blow the blonde to pieces before the pro hero's strong hand lands on his shoulder.
"Bakugou, my office."
(He's never been one to follow orders or care about teacher's opinions. That day however a small voice in his head screams regret and shame when he sees the disappointed look in Aizawa's eyes).
The most shocking thing though is even that doesn't ruin his friendship with Kirishima.
After all seldom do friendships get past breaking each other's nose.
xxx
(Present)
That evening they eat dinner together is silence, alone at the cold cell as the sunset bathes the grey walls in lazy shades of pinks and crimson.
He catches himself thinking about how there's some invisible thread bounding him and Midoriya, connecting them through space and time.
Once they finish their meals (sushi, courtesy of the villains that drop them food off while Deku lies through his teeth about making progress with his prisoner), they remain engulfed in silence, each lost in their own thoughts.
Katsuki could almost call it domestic, safe for him being a kidnapped and the bracelet that threatens to electrocute him any minute.
"Kacchan…" the nickname tears him away from the introspection and he looks up to the familiar shade of green.
"What, nerd?"
Izuku appears hesitant but presses through,
"Did you really mean it when you said I could still do good?"
Bakugou doesn't have to think twice before answering, "Yes…I mean hell, that's what I tell myself."
Deku's eyes widen a bit, as though still shocked and a little scared by this new side of him he only now presents.
It's as though he's finally, finally beginning to see him for what he is now and not that loud-mouthed, cruel teen boy. It makes hope blossom like a cherry tree mid April in Katsuki's heart and he both loves and hates the feeling.
"Kacchan… you really have become the hero I thought you would be when we were kids,"
Bakugou feels something in his heart loosen and flutter and he isn't sure if he should embrace the feeling or run away from it. Izuku leans in closer, as though to kiss him. He's so close the hero can feel his hot breath over his lips,
"You know…it's a long road to redemption, Kacchan. I can't promise anything but…perhaps we could try walking it together. "
Author's Note: No cliff hanger this time around…BUT this is only because next chapter will leave on a note that's bound to get a few gasps (smirks like the evil author I am!)
Plus next chapter we finally get Uraraka!
Thoughts on Kirishima and Bakugou's fight? And Kaminari throwing a punch to protect his best friend?
Thank you Guest, ererigado, Guest, Fandomslayer101, FrostyAngelWings, booklover2098 for commenting~!
Do you think Kacchan is redeeming himself?
Also, if you think Deku's beaten all the darkness…mmm, think again xD
Please review, I love hearing back from you!