Epilogue:
I am at the edge of the clock tower in Twilight Town. There's a gentle breeze, the sun is the most beautiful shade of orange, hanging low in the sky. I still wear my coat, it's covered in blood, but I guess the nice thing about black is that it isn't really noticeable. I certainly don't mind the wetness of the fabric. Honestly, I have faced much worse than this.
But has any of it mattered? Does any of it count?
It's not like I ever had a heart in the first place.
"You're here." The voice breaks me out of my reverie. From the ledge I stand at, I turn to see Axel sitting behind me. If I had a heart, it would skip a beat. What a beautiful fantasy this is. Maybe this is what happens when you die. Maybe your body doesn't know how to process the trauma, so it puts you in a state of bliss to relax you, as you drift away. I know I'm not complaining.
With careful steps down from the ledge I take a seat beside him and smile softly.
"Ice cream, really?" I ask.
"Would've saved you one, but I wasn't sure how long you were going to be." He confesses. I lean into him so delighted that he still feels this warm. This must be heaven.
"It's okay, this is pretty perfect in and of itself. Shame Roxas couldn't be here to join us." I say.
"You missed him, he was here just a few minutes ago. Said he had something important to attend to." Axel wraps his arm tightly around me, drawing me in, impossibly closer. He still smells the same. He still feels as warm. As far as hallucinations go, this is pretty grand.
"That would be my fault." I confess. "Sora wasn't going to do the dirty job all by himself. I had to ask Roxas to help him out." And he did. He so did. But this makes me realize something very serious. "This is real."
"Yeah, it sure feels that way." Axel nods. So, this isn't just some beautiful illusion. I pull away from, him, looking into his eyes, just as beautifully green as I remember. Everything about him is just as perfect as I could've hoped. "I wanted to wait until you got here, I figured I owed you an explanation. The one I gave you was kinda half assed."
"Yeah. I'm still pretty pissed about it." I agree.
"But here you are, not trying to shove me off the clock tower. That's pretty grown up of you sweetheart." He grins.
"I don't have the heart to be mad." I say, in an utterly mocking tone, though I guess it's true. Axel snorts.
"Guess I deserve that one." He laughs.
"I'll beat you up about it some other time. Right now, it doesn't matter. Fuck, Axel, I'm just so glad to be next to you." I admit. "It's like I've told you from the beginning. Heart or no, that can't be the end all. There's still something there. I only wish you would've woken up in Transmute City with me. Think about how different our lives would've been if you hadn't been told by a madman that you couldn't feel."
"Do you think that's what makes you, you? You were never told you didn't have a heart, so you just kept on acting like you did?" He asks.
"I don't know. I don't feel like I have the answers to anything, anymore." I sigh. "I didn't think I'd ever feel this stupid."
"You're not stupid, Rueki." He insists, touching my face lightly with a gloved hand. I smile, softly, leaning into his touch.
"I don't know. I love you, despite everything. That's pretty stupid. I still trust you, you're still my partner." I remind him.
"Nah, that's not stupid. That's crazy. And I think I've heard somewhere before that people do crazy things when they're in love." He smiles. "Twilight knows that's why I kept this all from you. I just love you so much, I didn't want to change who you were. I didn't want to let the Organization shake your world, or take anymore from you. I took enough, with what I put you through."
"You put back what you took though. You've always been there to put me back together. Even this shit with my heart… You're right, my world has been shaken up, and not just by you. But the second I set foot in The World That Never Was. The only thing I had was my identity. If I found out any sooner, who knows what would've happened, or how I would've handled it. At least after all we'd been through, I knew myself and I knew you well enough to know that not having a heart didn't change anything. I'm me. I will always be me. And at least I died protecting that. I guess that's probably better than becoming what they wanted me to be." I decide.
"I abandoned you, in a place where you got tortured. I forced your hand, made you take a life, lied to you about the most important thing in your world, Rueki. You can be mad. You can hate me." He insists. "We both know I deserve it."
"Well what about me?" I ask. "It's not like I hadn't constantly poked at Saix, despite every warning. I killed Zexion, yes, but that was my choice, not yours. I'm mad at you, of course I am. But it's not that important anymore. If it comes down to someone else's life or yours, I will always choose you, Axel. I'm stronger today, because of you."
"And a hell of a lot more broken." He sighs.
"Could you cut the shit?" I ask. "I forgive you, Axel. I love you. I just wish we had more time left."
"I love you too, Rueki." He whispers. "Me too." He discards the stick of his ice cream, to wrap his arms around me. I climb into his lap, setting my head on his shoulder.
"What happens to us now?" I ask.
"I wish I knew." He shakes his head. "Maybe this is purgatory, and we're just on our way to the next life."
"If there is another." I snort.
"Still a little bit of a cynic left alive inside of you, Rueks." He chuckles.
"Always. And you're still not allowed to call me that." I say. He just kisses the top of my head. "If there is another life, you can't lie to me in that one."
"That was the one lie I had left, babe. The one secret. And now you know." He shrugs. "But yeah, I promise. Got it memorized?"
"Yeah. I do." I nod. "So you don't think we can stay here forever?"
"Nobodies like us aren't that lucky. If there is a next life, I'm willing to bet that we have until our bodies reform." He says.
"And if not?" I ask.
"Then I just wanna enjoy this, right now, for as long as I can." He says. "I'm sorry we didn't have more moments like this."
"It's okay. We will, in the next life." I offer him a sideways little smile as I look up.
"Damn. How did I get lucky enough to end up with you?" He touches my face.
"It's probably cuz you're cute. And you know, the smartest person I know, and the exact same level of asshole that I am, and funny as hell, protective, sarcastic, perfect." I roll my eyes. "But don't tell anyone I said that, they might think I kinda like you or something."
"My lips are sealed, babe." He laughs, but beneath me, I feel him start to dissolve. My eyes go wide, in horror. His match mine, a perfect mirror. "It's okay." His hands slide down my neck, my shoulders, though his touch is barely ghosting as his being starts to fade from this in between world. "I'm going to find you, in the next life, Rueki. I promise."
"Not if I find you first." I insist. Before he fades completely, a glimmer is lit in his eyes.
"Don't keep me waiting."
...
Rueki, Axel and many other characters will return in 'Ignite', which releases on Friday, February 22nd