Chapter 3: Maybe I Played My Cards Wrong

Summary:

James - Flashback to 8 years previously ...

Prongs: WTF Pete?

Prongs: what possessed you not to tell us about Evans and Lupin?

Prongs: ?

Wormy: They weren't

Prongs: …?

Wormy: Lupin is new

Wormy: had no clue was starting here this year, didn't see name on any roster!

Prongs: Evans?

Wormy: working in one of the other hospitals attached to the rotation

Wormy: found out her next post was here few weeks ago – name on the on-call rota

Wormy: didn't tell you in case you baled out on me

Prongs: could have warned me yesterday

Wormy: sorry mate

James sighed and pushed the phone away. He felt Sirius' rigid, hunched posture. What a mess, he thought. He glanced over at Lily Evans, now sitting in the audience, intently watching the speakers. She seemed unfazed by their presence. He felt sick.

Eight Years Earlier...

"Thanks for helping out today, Potter," Lily said.

Her smile was bright as her hand gently squeezed his arm.

"My pleasure," he said, feeling inordinately pleased with himself, as he lifted the last of the crates into place.

"We definitely raised more money than I was expecting!" she said, looking at the biscuit tin full of coins and notes. "The MSOV* is going to be so chuffed."

"Oi, Potter!" Marlene shouted from the storeroom. "Those crates need to be stacked in here as well, you know! Give us a hand! Unless you're already exhausted, you wimp!"

James grinned at Lily and shouted back.

"Hey, that's codswallop! I'll have you know I go to the gym all the time, I'm pulling a blinder here, you cheeky pup!"

Lily snorted.

"Codswallop?"

"I get that from my parents," he shrugged. "They do things like ask why I'm not going steady with you yet, to get a move on and woo you, and have you pencilled me in for a hot date yet."

"They don't!"

"I may be marginally exaggerating…"

Lily's face flushed as peals of laughter echoed from the storeroom.

"Marls and Dorcas," Lily said, trying to scowl. "They're idiots!"

"Oh, I know," he winked at her, disappearing in after them.

"She likes you, Potter!" whispered Marlene, giggling effusively and elbowing Dorcas, as James shoved the crates up higher.

James raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Doubt it."

"She bloody does, you idiot, are you blind?" scoffed Dorcas, shushing Marlene sternly (who promptly erupted into more childish laughter).

James shook his head, smiling to himself, unwilling to believe it in case it wasn't true.

"She hasn't always liked you, obviously," Dorcas hissed at him.

"Obviously," James repeated, rolling his eyes. "She made that pretty clear in the past."

"Whatever," Dorcas waved her hand at him dismissively. "But this year, things have changed. You've changed. She's changed. She's actually very interested-"

"She fancies you rotten but is too bloody proud to make the first move. So hurry up and do something about it, Potter!" Marlene interrupted, folding her arms crossly.

"Yeah, what she said, in a nutshell," Dorcas grinned at him.

"She doesn't like me, we're just friends," James hissed back, mortified at the thought that Lily might be eavesdropping on their conversation.

"Ugh, you really are dense!" said Marlene, swatting him hard on his upper arm.

"Ouch!" said James, rubbing his arm grumpily. "I'm not! We're just friends, especially in the past 18 months. We study together, we're planning this trip to Tanzania with the MSOV together, we're fundraising together. I'm telling you, we're just mates … mates who occasionally flirt. It doesn't mean anything."

"Just Mates! Occasionally Flirt- my arse!" said Dorcas briskly. "Why does Lily talk about you incessantly to us? Why does she stare at you in lectures and hang around afterwards in the hope of bumping into you, so she'll have an excuse to talk to you? She told me she likes you, okay? And don't you dare tell her I said that, or she'll kill me, right?"

James stared at the two girls in shock, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"He's utterly stupid," sighed Marlene, looking at Dorcas.

"Clueless," agreed Dorcas.

"Oblivious," added Marlene, gesturing helplessly.

"Get back out there and talk to her, you dork!" said Dorcas, shoving him out the door, despite his protestations. "Honestly, you'd swear you two were fifteen, instead of nearly qualified doctors!"

He walked over to her sheepishly, avoiding the other students who were finishing tidying up the hall.

"Alright, Evans?" he asked, running his hand through his messy, black hair.

"Yeah," she said, sounding distracted, her gaze lingering on his arms. "They look bigger."

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Arms," she said hurriedly, clearing her throat. "Your arms, bigger… probably just… you lifted …"

"Right," he said, taking in her slightly flushed cheeks. "Er, how are you getting home?"

"Back to my gaff for a coffee, both of you!" said Dorcas, interrupting them.

It was an order, not an invitation.

…

"Nice place your sister owns, Dorcas," said James, sipping his coffee and looking around the cosy apartment, with the wood-burning stove, the wool blankets draped over the couch, the jug filled with old-fashioned roses, the mismatched tea set.

"Lily decorated it with me, it's her handiwork," commented Dorcas. "She has great ideas. She suggested painting the main room russet orange to make it feel warmer during the winter. The windows are single glazing and it's freezing. It works!"

"I love it," James said.

He felt at ease here.

"You're lucky, Dorcas," sighed Lily, flopping down on the couch, and rest her head back.

"Yeah, it's tiny, but Milly only charges me minimal rent which is brilliant, cause I can make ends meet by working in Tesco's down the road at weekends. I couldn't afford to live in London otherwise, despite the grant money, my family's broke," said Dorcas.

She was always completely upfront, which was one of the things Lily loved about her.

"Listen, we've run out of milk, just popping out to the shops," Dorcas continued briskly, grabbing her bag and heading for the door.

"I'll come too, keep you company!" said Marlene, grinning at Lily as she ducked out of the door.

"Same, I forgot to get… something else… too," said Mary.

At least she had the decency to look embarrassed and mouth "sorry!" to Lily, before she also legged it out of the flat.

Dorcas was as subtle as a brick, it was one of the things that Lily hated about her.

She groaned loudly and tried to valiantly ignore the blush that spread rapidly across her neck and cheeks.

James was looking at her blankly.

"Did I miss something?" he said.

Lily managed a very fake laugh and proceeded to spill coffee all over the front of her jumper.

"Shit! No, no," she began, hurriedly grabbing a tea-towel and attempting to fix her top. "Well, yes, actually…"

She tried to keep her tone flippant, but James could tell she sounded a bit rattled.

"They're so stupid! They think there's … something… going on between us, when there clearly isn't. I mean, I told them we're just friends, but you know how girls get… ridiculous!"

She tossed her head and rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Oh yeah, ridiculous," said James, his smile over-bright. "So what, they were hoping for some hanky-panky?"

Lily snorted.

"Hanky-panky? Are we in the 1950s or what, Potter? Yes I was hoping for that."

James stared back at her.

"You were?" he asked, looking surprised.

"Yeah… what?" Lily looked momentarily horrified. "No, no, no! I meant them. They were. I wasn't. No. Not at all…"

She bit her lip. She looked spectacularly cute, in James' opinion, in her stained cream crochet jumper and fitted jeans, her green eyes imploring him to shut up.

"So that wasn't a Freudian slip, no?" he grinned wickedly.

"No. Definitely not," she replied hurriedly, lifting her hair and wrapping it into a messy bun, which she fixed into place with a pen.

"Ah… pity," he hummed softly, too kind to embarrass her further.

"Right, well, telly," she said. "What do you want to watch? Grey's Anatomy? Gavin and Stacey?"

They sat in front of the TV, silently, their mutual embarrassment slowly wearing off after a time, until the girls returned. One look at Lily and the three girls decided to lay off them for the rest of the night.

"How are you getting home?" James asked Lily, as the evening drew to a close.

"A lift from Marls, I think," Lily said, looking around vaguely.

"No can do, sorry love, no room," called out Marlene, sounding far too cheerful. "I promised to give my brother and his mates a lift into town, so you'll have to get a lift from James here."

She winked knowingly at them both.

He was going to kill that girl, he thought, glaring back at her, unaware that Lily was doing the same.

They walked down the steps towards James' bicycle.

"A lift on that?" said Lily.

James shrugged casually.

"Yeah, I could give you a crossbar home? If you like?" he asked.

He tried looking cool and collected.

Lily hesitated momentarily.

"Well, I'd have to get two buses home. Oh, to hell with it. Yeah... alright, Potter," she beamed.

His eyes lit up triumphantly.

They had never laughed so much. She nearly fell off multiple times. The somewhat stilted conversation in Dorcas' house replaced by incessant banter and giggling. They were so close. James couldn't figure out was his heart drumming furiously due to the vigorous cycling or due to the intoxicating presence of Lily Evans. Her hair tickling his face, she smelt of bergamot, cardamom, jasmine and coconut. His chin resting on her shoulder. On a steep hill he had to get off and push the bike for all of ten seconds, looking extremely disappointed with himself.

"Sorry! Are you getting tired?" Lily asked, wobbling precariously.

"Me?" said James, sounding incredulous, and hopping back into the bike immediately. "I never tire!"

He huffed the words into her shoulder as he breathed heavily to crest the hill.

"Show off!" she was staring into his eyes in a frankly very distracting manner.

The bike lurched dangerously, and a car hooted behind them.

"Shit. Sorry!" James panted. "I'm finding it hard to concentrate with you…"

He stopped mid-sentence.

"It's okay, this is me," she said, swinging her legs off the bike as they came to a stop. She was standing very close to him. She pointed to the tiny, run-down house where she had a one room flat.

"It's not great, but the rent is dirt cheap and Mrs. Benson, the landlady, lives next door and is very decent. She didn't increase my rent this year at all. Can't wait till I start earning properly and can afford to move somewhere else. I just want my own space …"

"Is Snape still living there?" he asked, hoping to sound neutral.

"Yeah, he is. His room's on the ground floor. We're not really on speaking terms at the moment," she said, looking uncomfortable.

"Everything ok?" he asked.

"yeah, it's fine…"

She couldn't look at him. She removed a stray thread from her shirt. She sounded far from convinced.

"Anything I can help you with?" he said, moving a little closer to her. He felt a flare of protectiveness well up inside him. As well as a distinct urge to kick Snape in the arse.

"No, I'll have to sort it out… I don't really want to talk about it, if you don't mind."

"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to pry."

She smiled at him.

"It's fine, you weren't to know."

"Thanks for the lift James," she said, lingering there.

"Don't mention it," he said, smiling back.

"Your scarf is falling off," she added, surveying him fondly.

"Oh, right," said James, catching it as it fell to the ground.

"Who wears designer scarves in college anyway?" she scoffed. "I knew you were a snob the first day I saw you, with your bloody Belstaff jacket!"

"Interesting, you remembering what I was wearing the first day we met," he teased.

"Hmm, well you made a very bad first impression, if you must know!" she said.

"I still made an impression of sorts through, didn't I? I call that a win! And first impressions can be wrong… oh alright, I was massive tosser, fair enough! I had a bit of a swollen head back then – being on the rugby team that won the schools' league only made it worse, it was a big deal at the time."

"Hmm, you definitely needed taking down a peg or two back then, and I'm not fully convinced your head has deflated enough even now," Lily said dryly.

"I'm not disagreeing with you entirely, aside from the fact that my head is so deflated now as to resemble a shrivelled raisin," he laughed. "You, on the other hand, made a very good impression. You were wearing this very same leather jacket, your hair was in a French plait and you were doubled over with laughter at Marlene's answers during anatomy tutorials. She had just confidently informed Prof Flitwick that the cross-section of a testis was the brain."

"Oh gosh I'd completely forgotten that!" said Lily, bursting into a fit of giggles.

"You said 'to be fair to Marlene, that's more or less the right answer, Professor', and Flitwick practically choked with embarrassment!" grinned James.

"He was always such a prude, Flitwick, despite teaching anatomy, I was very cruel to him!" said Lily.

"You were always a bit cheeky!" he smiled.

She was beaming at him.

"Anyway, that scarf still has to go!"

"Excuse me, give it back, Evans!" said James, even though she hadn't gone near it, like he knew she couldn't resist a challenge.

"You wish, Potter!" she smirked, green eyes flashing, as she lunged for the offending item.

"Get off!" he yelled, laughing, trying to tickle her sides.

"No tickling! That's cheating!" she shrieked loudly, stubbornly holding onto it, as they stumbled backwards towards the iron railing of the house. She whipped it behind her back as he fell onto her.

"Give it back!"

"Never!" she laughed, slightly out of breath, as they both tugged at the material.

"You're a menace, Evans!"

"Only when I'm with you!"

"What does that mean?"

His hazel eyes danced playfully, his lips moments away from hers.

"Well you're so bloody annoying and stupid and…" she said.

"And what?" he whispered.

"And so bloody adora-"

"Everything alright there, dearie?"

Lily's next-door neighbour, a bohemian woman in her seventies, stood up from behind the low wall where she was weeding. James jumped back in fright.

"Bloody hell!" said James.

"Oh, er, hullo, Mrs. Benson, smashing, thanks!" replied Lily, moving away from James.

"Oh, good, just checking! Who's this young man?"

"It's James, a classmate. James, this is my landlady, Mrs. Benson," said Lily, looking very pink.

"Hello dear, I like your eyes, always had a thing for brown eyes."

"Good evening, Mrs. Benson," said James, giving her a firm handshake.

"And I like your handshake, James, not the dead fish handshake that that fellow Severance Snake has," said Mrs. Benson, eying Lily haughtily.

"Snape in a nutshell!" James chuckled quietly.

Lily shot him a disapproving glare.

Mrs. Benson remained standing there, in her striking orange headscarf, smiling pointedly at them.

"Right. Well… goodbye so," said James, sticking his hands in his jacket pockets, and looking at the ground.

He was pretty sure if Mrs. Benson hadn't been standing there they would have snogged by now.

"Thanks for the lift home, James, I really enjoyed it."

She turned to go up the steps, and he turned to head home.

"Lily!" he called back suddenly. It was worth the risk. "Do you want to meet me in town tomorrow?"

She broke into a huge grin.

"Yeah… I'd love to!"

"Right! I'll text you"

"Great" she said.

He turned to go and stopped.

"As in, a date, though - you know?" he explained, looking doubtfully at her.

"I get that, you idiot!" she smiled.

She took a few steps down and planted a quick kiss onto his cheek.

"See you then, James!"

"She likes you, you know," said Mrs. Benson as soon as Lily had shut the front door behind her.

"Yeah?" said James.

"Yeah, trust me, I know these things!" said Mrs. Benson airily.

"I like you too," she added. "And I don't like that creepy Severance fellow. I increased his rent in an attempt to get rid of him, but it didn't work. I think it's because he's besotted with Lily. Point is, he's not right for her. They had a huge row the other day, I could hear them from next door. She was 're not dating, are they?"

"I don't think so," said James, feeling his shoulders tighten.

"You don't like him either," Mrs. Benson said shrewdly.

He looked uncomfortable.

"Lily's a wonderful girl though."

James ruffled his hair and smiled.

"I've noticed!"

She bent down to continue her gardening, before shooting back up suddenly, giving James a fright.

"You may think I'm barmy, but mark my words, you two will get married, eventually. It just may take a while to get there, so don't give up on her," she said. "Good night, James."

"Good night, Mrs. Benson."

….

Except there had been no date.

And his friendship with Lily Evans had ended within the turbulent forty-eight hours that followed. Forty-eight hours that changed his life forever.

Notes:

PS This whole chapter (bar the reference to Snape), may or may not be entirely based on real life events involving my highly mortifying friends, the guy I was best friends with/madly in love with who was in my class in college and me... we may or may not now be married...!

Thanks so much for all your beautiful comments, I love reading them, and very motivating!