Warning: this chapter is a bit angsty and quite long...
Chapter 4: Oh, Just a Little Bit Wrong
(Continuation of Flashback to 8 years earlier…)
"Any plans for today?" James asked, flopping down on the couch opposite Sirius.
"No," Sirius replied, without looking up from his laptop.
"Why don't you come to the gym with me?" said James.
"No thanks," Sirius said.
"Coffee shop? The Italian one you love?" persisted James.
Sirius shook his head.
"Pads, you've been hiding away in here for weeks now, you need to start getting out a bit more," said James frowning. "Mum and dad are worried about you."
Mr. & Mrs. Potter adored Sirius. He had taken to spending more and more time in their house over the years, and they had welcomed him with open arms, treating him as part of the family. Now that he had been disowned by his parents, Sirius had been told to move in permanently. James was right, they were all concerned about his wellbeing. Sirius was looking decidedly thin, he thought. His usually tight jeans looked baggy on him, his hair unkempt, his eyes dull.
"I'm worried about you," he sighed.
"Don't worry about me, s'fine," said Sirius, leaning back on the arm of the sofa.
"God Sirius, when you do that sad smile that doesn't reach your eyes, it cries out that you're fucking miserable!" said James, leaning forwards and clasping his hands together.
"Psychobabble," muttered Sirius, closing his eyes. "Okay, fine, I'm miserable. Plenty of people have had their hearts broken. My family are all horrible and they've always hated me, nothing new there. And I wasn't even in a relationship with Remus, I'll get over it soon enough, don't worry."
"Fucking Lupin, wanker!" muttered James crossly.
Sirius opened his eyes again.
"Don't you dare bad-mouth Remus," he said tight-lipped. "He's not obliged to go out with me."
James opened his mouth to protest and thought better of it. Remus Lupin had been downright rude and obnoxious, refusing to even speak to Sirius since that night.
"Any word from Reg?" he tried, immediately regretting it.
"Not. A. Thing." said Sirius darkly, drumming his fingers on his thigh. "I've tried contacting him on Facebook, texted him, even emailed him and tried to call him. Nothing."
James grunted angrily.
"I'm dead to him, ok? I don't exist, erased from all records of the Black family. I looked at Reg's Facebook page before he blocked me and all the photos with me have been deleted, any childhood pics gone. Same with my cousins, and obviously my fucking parents…"
"Fuck!" said James.
He hated seeing Sirius like this – hurting, vulnerable, rejected. He wanted to fix everything for him. Do something. Anything. But he couldn't. He had already tried to contact Reg himself, tried to corner him leaving Grimmauld Place, to no avail.
"Alright, look, come on, let's get out of here for a few hours," said James, trying a new tack. "I need a distraction before I meet Lily in town later on."
"Nervous, Prongs?" smirked Sirius, momentarily diverted.
"Yes, you bastard, sod off!" James replied, throwing a cushion at Sirius.
"Fine, only cause I'm an excellent best friend," said Sirius, standing up unenthusiastically. "But I need a shower."
"You really do, you stink!" said James, grinning.
"Some best mate you are!" said Sirius, rolling his eyes.
James grinned happily and headed for the kitchen. He was famished. Rooting around in the fridge he took out a protein drink and switched on the TV, which he rarely watched. He was about to stretch out on the sofa when he heard a long, urgent ring on the doorbell. Wandering to the door barefoot, he threw on a t-shirt over his running shorts. When he opened the door, his mouth gaped.
"may I come in? Please, it's urgent. I only have a few minutes."
It was Sirius' younger brother, Reg. He looked harassed and fearful, carrying a sports bag, wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap, and glancing over his shoulder repeatedly.
"Come in," said James immediately, stepping aside.
Silently Reg entered the Potter's house, standing uncomfortably in the hall.
"Can we stand away from the windows please? I'm concerned I may have been followed," he whispered.
Nodding swiftly James brought him into the library where the curtains were already drawn.
"What's wrong, Reg?" he asked bluntly.
"Everything. Everything's fucked," he said.
His breathing was shallow, and James was pretty sure he was starting to have a panic attack.
"It's ok, you're safe here, Reg," James said, squeezing his shoulder. "Sit down, I'll get you a drink."
"No time," rasped Reg, taking deep breaths. "I need to talk to Sirius. Immediately. It's a matter of life and death."
Those brothers certainly had a flair for the dramatic, thought James.
"I'll get him," said James, turning to leave.
The door of the library opened, and Sirius came in, a towel wrapped round his waist, hair and body still dripping from the shower.
"What's going on?" he demanded, looking from Reg to James in agitation. "I thought I heard your voice."
"It's... I have to…" Reg froze.
"For God's sake, tell me Reg!" yelled Sirius, grabbing Reg by the shoulders. "Did they hurt you?"
"They will when they find out what I'm doing," said Reg, locking eyes with his older brother. "I'm going to the media with it."
"Fuck. What did you do?" asked Sirius urgently, his grey eyes piercing.
"I'm telling them everything. That new wonder drug that was in the news recently, Salazar, the one that was meant to be a miracle cure for MS sufferers?" said Reg.
"Yeah, James' parents' lab was developing it originally, I know, what about it?" said Sirius, looking confused.
"That's right," said James. "Some whiz scientist, Tom Riddle, was responsible for most of the work, he's supposedly a total genius. My parents sold it to Slytherin Pharma two years ago, Riddle had said he needed more investment to complete its development and refused to continue working for them. They weren't keen cause they knew your parents run that company, and there have been rumours about unethical practices for decades, but nothing was ever proved. Riddle made them feel guilty, saying they were responsible for depriving sufferers of a potential cure for MS. The share price for Slytherin Pharma shot up in the past few months, as the research papers published recently supported the hype. I don't get it… that drug was due to be launched next week?"
"It won't be launched now. Not if you agree with my plan," said Reg, turning to Sirius. "It's all a lie. I heard Riddle talking to mother and father about it. The drug has serious side effects, it causes potentially lethal problems. The 400 people who were involved in the trial are starting to develop liver and kidney complications. Riddle said he thinks they will all develop organ failure. Riddle has lied to each of them so they each think theirs is a one-off case and told them they have randomly developed an autoimmune disorder unconnected to the drug. He's referred them to a consultant who is as shady as he is and who is involved in the cover up. No doubt our parents are paying him handsomely for his help. They've decided not to call a halt to the development of the drug, which ethically they have to. They plan to release it onto the market as planned, so the share price will continue to sky rocket. Then they plan to sell Slytherin Pharma to one of the big American drug companies that has been interested in a possible take over for the past nine months. The side effects only become apparent after around a year of treatment and they are permanent. When patients start to die, and the law suits start, it won't be their problem any longer. They plan to transfer the money into a secret offshore account, so nobody can touch it. They may get fined, but they'll probably lie and declare bankruptcy, if needed, and nobody will have proof they knew about these problems. Riddle has altered the blood test results; the data any investigator will find is all be fake."
"Fucking hell!" said Sirius, staring at his brother dumbfounded. "They can't do that!"
"Oh, they are doing it, trust me," said Reg. "I confronted them about it and they confirmed it. They think I'll stay quiet as otherwise we lose everything. They also threatened me if I go to the media. Said Riddle has contacts who will make sure I end up with serious injuries if the story is leaked."
"What?" said James, looking horrified.
He had been listening to the story in shock. His parents, his poor parents, were going to be so upset. But this?
"I wouldn't put it past them," said Sirius grimly, eying his brother with concern. "You need to disappear immediately, hide out in Europe till this whole thing blows over. You can't afford to hang around, too dangerous, give me the proof and I'll do it immediately," said Sirius.
"They don't know that last night I managed to get into father's laptop and sent myself all the incriminating data, it wasn't difficult when his password is England4theEnglish," said Reg bitterly.
"The slogan for the Nationalist Liberation Party," said James, looking disgusted. "Should we not call the police?"
"Afterwards," said Sirius. "My parents have connections everywhere, old Eton ties, family loyalties going back hundreds of years. I bet they have contacts in Scotland Yard, or even in MI5."
"Agreed," Regulus stood up. "I need to leave, I don't want to put you in danger."
Sirius shook his head.
"Reg, don't! Is there anything I can do? Come with you?"
"No, it'll be much easier to escape notice on my own. I'm not as extraordinary looking as you are, pretty hard to blend into the background when you look like a male model!"
Sirius rolled his eyes fondly.
"Just promise you'll release this before they can stop us!" said Reg.
Sirius nodded.
"How do you know you weren't followed?" asked James.
"You don't. We need a disguise!" said Sirius. "And I have just the thing, from a recent fancy-dress party!"
…
A slim woman with long blonde hair and sunglasses emerged from the Potter's house a short while later. She slung a Hermes bag into the front seat of the maroon coloured vintage Porche in the Potter's driveway and drove off at a leisurely pace.
"Who's that?" said Crouch, training his surveillance equipment on her.
"Some posh bird, probably Sirius' girlfriend," shrugged Lestrange, speaking into the hidden mic. "We stay put till they move, and then we don't lose them, especially Regulus. We were told to cause serious injuries today as a warning, and kill him if he leaks the story to anyone."
…
The Guardian's UK News Editor, Kingsley Shaklebolt, couldn't believe what he was hearing from Sirius, but a quick scan of the data sent to him was convincing enough for him to make a decision. The Black family were often in the media due to their huge wealth. Walburga, with her stunning beauty and eerily preserved youth, was always noticeable at society gatherings, and the brothers' good looks often resulted in their photographs being splattered all over the place. Sirius was instantly recognisable as legit. This was going to be a massive story.
"Sirius, I've seen the data and that YouTube video of your brother summarising what happened and what he was told. I'll contact all media outlets, it's going to hit the headlines immediately."
…
The doorbell rang and both Sirius and James jumped.
"Fuck!" hissed Sirius. "Who the fuck is that?"
"Don't know," said James, advancing towards the door warily. "Sirius, can you lock yourself in the library and call the police straight away? I'm better off playing dumb and pretending Reg hasn't been here, I'll keep them occupied till the police arrive, yeah?"
"Fuck!" said Sirius, glaring.
How bloody helpful, possible heavies at the door and him with nothing but a towel wrapped round him!
"Move!" said James.
He opened the door as the library door clicked shut.
"May I – oh, it's you," said James, staring at Snape's scowling face in the porch. "What do you want?"
James glanced nervously around and cursed Snape, he needed to get that idiot out of there as soon as possible, given they might be getting an unpleasant visit soon.
"Charming as ever, Potter," sneered Snape, looking positively livid.
"I'm in a hurry Snape, what do you want?" repeated James, keeping his voice stern.
"I want you to fuck off and leave Lily Evans alone, do you understand? We are dating, in fact we live together. She was too intimidated to say no to your request for a date, so she asked me to tell you. I believe her exact words were to tell you to fuck off and leave her alone, or she'll contact the police and get you charged with stalking her," said Snape, looking triumphantly at James.
"What the ever-living fuck?" said James, looking completely bewildered. "Look, I don't have time for this shit! I will certainly clarify with Evans when I meet her if this bullshit is all true. Alright? Now get the fuck out of here!"
He stepped forward menacingly. He had to get rid of Snape, and fast.
"Don't you threaten me, you entitled, little stuck-up bastard!" shouted Snape, as without warning he aimed a punch at James' face.
James fell backwards, and his head hit the floor with a thud.
The library door flew open and Sirius emerged looking like thunder.
"You greasy fucker!" he screamed, still only wearing the white towel, holding the poker he had just picked up and advancing ominously. "Get the fuck out of here, or I will personally beat you to within an inch of your life!"
Snape looked at him in fear and began walking backwards.
Sirius hated him at that moment - hated the fact that he was a bigot and an avid supporter of the NLP, that he was part of the group of students who were openly homophobic, for what had happened at the Med Ball, and now that he had threatened and lied to his best friend.
"Get the fuck out of here, Reg!" Sirius shouted after him, running down the steps onto the driveway. "I never want to see your ugly face again, do you hear me, Reg? Don't ever come back, Reg!"
Snape's bewildered features seemed to struggle to make sense of what Sirius was saying, before he turned and fled down the road.
Sirius ran back inside and stooped down to where James was struggling to get up.
"What the hell…?" James muttered, wincing as he stood.
"Are you ok?" asked Sirius, examining the back of his head. "Lucky it's a wooden floor and not the marble in my old man's place!"
"What happened? And why were you calling him Reg?" asked James.
Sirius looked slightly uncomfortable before he shrugged dismissively.
"I may have noticed a few figures spying on us from the road, clearly Riddle's contacts. They got here around the time Reg left. And I may have decided that one skinny bloke with dark hair and a baseball cap is pretty similar to another," he said.
"What?" said James. "But you called him Reg… they'll think he's…"
"Precisely," said Sirius, raising his elegant arched eyebrow. "That was the point, teach that bastard a lesson and get them off Reg's back."
"But they could kill him!"
James pushed Sirius aside and tore down the steps and out onto the street, his heart racing. His stomach lurched as he spotted Snape lying on the ground. Three masked men were kicking and beating him with iron bars.
"Stop!" he yelled, as he reached them. "Stop it! That's not Reg! You have the wrong man!"
Police sirens blared in the distance as he aimed a punch at one of the men who wasn't expecting it and fell back, momentarily stunned. The other two turned away from the prostrate figure, bars in hand, and advanced towards him.
He managed to grab the end of the iron bar that the taller masked man tried to aim at his head and lashed out furiously with his legs to try to keep the man away from him. The shorter, broader attacker swung his arm out and hit him in the back, causing him to buckle and collapse immediately. He covered his head with his hands as best he could and curled up into a ball as the iron bar fell on him.
"We need to go, now! Someone's coming, and the police are nearly here!" said the taller man, who had spotted Sirius running down the Potter's driveway with the poker in his hand. He helped the third man up as the blaring sirens of three police cars approached.
The shorter man grunted as he landed one last blow before fleeing the scene with the other two attackers.
….
"How is he?" James asked groggily, when he came to in the hospital trolley.
He was attached to a monitor and he had a cannula in his arm.
"The greasy wanker? He'll make it, he's not great, they've finished operating on him now. They think we're friends, so they filled me in when I asked," Sirius snorted derisively. "He had a fractured femur which they fixed, a pneumothorax which they drained, and a couple of fractured ribs. They were worried he might have a subdural haematoma. Thankfully he doesn't."
"You fucking arse!" said James angrily, then hissed with pain as breathing in sharply was painful. "You nearly got him killed!"
Looking momentarily guilty, Sirius dropped his gaze.
"I didn't think they'd hurt him so badly," he whispered. "I'm sorry."
His eyes swept over his friend's swollen face and bruised torso and he sighed heavily.
"I'm really sorry. I think you've broken five ribs and you've got a peri-orbital fracture. They're bringing you in for an MRI now to see if there's any internal bleeding. Shit, I'm so sorry." Sirius looked visibly upset.
"You're an arse," James repeated. "Are you okay?"
"Well I ran after them and tried to take them on but one of them pulled out a gun and threatened to shoot if I followed them. They got away, I told the police everything I could. The news about Salazar has gone public," he said, pointing to the Sky News broadcaster on the small screen in the cubicle with the caption Slytherin Pharmaceuticals Scandal. "Your mum and dad called, they were awfully upset about the whole thing. They had just heard about it on the radio, they're on their way back to London now. I wish they hadn't heard like that. I had to tell them about you getting hurt, but I minimised your injuries so they wouldn't panic."
James winced.
"Shit," he muttered. "Were they ok? You know how worried they get…"
Sirius paused. They were very clearly distraught on the phone, not only about James' health, but also worried about the patients involved in the Salazar trial. And worried about his safety – when really he was a terrible person who didn't deserve anyone's love, least of all the Potter's. He dreaded them finding out what he had done.
"I insisted they leave the car and get the train down, that I'd pick them up at King's Cross, I warned Dad, sorry, Fleamont, not to drive back as he was too upset," said Sirius, anxiously scratching his jaw.
"Dad," corrected James. "He calls you son."
Sirius felt a lump in his throat and nodded, heavy tears falling down his cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Prongs," he said hoarsely, getting up quickly and brushing the tears away frantically. "I should go. I'm nothing but a liability, and for all I know I could be putting you all in danger. I'll just…"
He made as if to leave and James grabbed hold of his wrist.
"Stop being so bloody dramatic, Pads!" he said firmly, fixing Sirius with a warning look which reminded him of James' Head Boy Face. "You're not going anywhere. I need you here. I want you here. You can go and feel sorry for yourself another time. Mum and Dad need you too."
James watched as Sirius' breathing calmed slowly. He sat down as abruptly as he had stood up, looking exhausted.
"Sorry. I was being a self-indulgent little shit," he sighed. "Won't happen again."
"Pads, you've just been given horrible news, you're scared to death about Reg's safety, your family are murderous bastards, and the entire country knows what happened. I think most people in your situation wouldn't exactly be handling it well?" James said.
"I should be better than that," said Sirius quietly, kicking the wall with his foot.
"I am worried about Reg. He left his phone at your place. I hope he's ok," he added.
"So do I," said James.
….
It was one of the busiest days on record for the Emergency Department at St. Rowena's, and hours later James was still on a trolley, awaiting a hospital bed so he could be admitted. Sirius was still by his side.
"I wonder how Snape is doing?" said James, fiddling with the cannula in his arm.
"You always fidget when you're anxious, it's annoying," said Sirius.
He was snapping, and he knew it was due to guilt.
"I can go and try to find out?" Sirius said after a pause. "They think we're friends."
"Go ahead, although I doubt they'd tell us anything else if we aren't family," James said.
As Sirius made his way towards the nurses' station to ask what ward Snape had been moved to, he saw a red-haired woman talking to the student nurse, in a very familiar voice.
"Excuse me, I'm looking for a patient called Severus Snape, he was admitted here after being assaulted a few hours ago? I don't know how bad his injuries are. I'm down as his next of kin," she was saying.
"Certainly," the student nurse answered, turning to the computer screen. "I'll just find out for you."
"Lily," called Sirius, tapping her gently on the shoulder.
She whirled around immediately.
"Get your hands off me!" she was seething with rage. "I heard what happened, I spoke to Sev."
"I'm sorry Lily, I wasn't thinking straight, I…" Sirius said, looking horrified.
"You needn't think you can lie to me about what happened!" she raised her voice. "Sev already told me, he told me that James paid some guys to beat him up. And that you were about to join in with a poker when the police arrived. He can't prove any of it of course. It's sick! It was premeditated! How could you?"
She had tears in her eyes and her hand went up to her mouth in horror as she imagined what had occurred.
"I know he's far from perfect, but he could have died," she said, her voice shaking. "He could have died!"
"That's complete bullshit!" shouted Sirius. "How dare you think that James and I would do something like that?"
"Because Sev told me," she sobbed, distraught. "He said James warned him he was going to get beaten up, he didn't believe it obviously and then, this happened the very same day… why would Sev lie?"
"Why would he lie? Oh I don't know - maybe cause he's a weirdo and he's obsessed with you? A weirdo supporter of racist bastards like the NLP? Cop on, Evans!" spat back Sirius, his grey eyes furious.
"Are you denying you had anything to do with what happened to Sev?" said Lily, interrupting him mid-flow.
Sirius hesitated, staring at her unblinking emerald eyes, unsure what he could say.
"Well, not entirely," Sirius stammered.
"I'm not going to listen to your pathetic excuses any longer!" Lily said, giving him a cold glare. "And you can tell that friend of yours who stood me up today that I'd rather go on a date with Squiddy Blacklake than ever go out with him!"
Sirius winced. Squiddy, that gross Final Med student known for being, er, handsy? Really?
"No, wait, Lily, Snape lied! I can explain, it had nothing to do with James, I swear!" said Sirius.
Before he could finish, she had turned her back on him and exited the room.
Sirius screamed internally as he dug his fingernails into his hands.
"Bugger, bugger, bugger!" he said, clenching his teeth.
How the hell was he going to explain this to James? This was easily turning into one of the worst days of his life.
…..
"Look, we'll sort it out, I swear," Sirius said fervently. "Once she hears from you what actually happened, she'll know that Snape was lying. I can even get Reg to meet her and explain once this whole disaster calms down."
"Yeah, don't worry, she was probably just really worried. And what is she supposed to think when she hears her friend was badly assaulted and he blames it on us?" said James, stifling a yawn.
He was so tired of listening to Sirius' apologies and each time he breathed in, his chest hurt.
Just then the Emergency Department doors flew open as ambulance crew and paramedics sped through. James and Sirius could catch snippets of conversation as the team worked.
"Elderly man… single vehicle crash… vitals have stabilised… pupils responsive… ECG changes," a paramedic was talking.
"Eyewitnesses?" they heard the doctor ask, as various monitors beeped around the crash victim.
"… seemed to lose control of the car before crashing into a car hauler… one of the cars that had not yet been secured fell on top of his car… car's a write-off… bruising on his upper abdomen… complaining of dizziness and abdominal pain."
"… possible internal bleeding from trauma to the liver or spleen," another voice spoke. "… ultrasound and CT abdomen… what's his name?"
"Fleamont, Fleamont Potter."
James and Sirius froze as their eyes met, unable to speak. Then they both got up and ran out of the cubicle towards the injured man, Sirius running faster.
"Dad!" he called out. "Dad!"
"Excuse me, please step aside!" said the nurse in charge as several nurses and doctors held him back and stopped him reaching the team of medics treating Mr. Potter.
"But it's James' dad, our dad!" shouted Sirius, his voice sounding harsh, the bright lights making him panic as he caught glimpses of Fleamont's injuries.
"You can talk to him as soon as he's stabilised," said the nurse, firmly leading both James and him aside.
"Mum. What about mum?" James' voice sounded strange to him, as though he were in a dream, as though none of this were real.
"The front seat passenger… died instantly… there was nothing we could do… she was already dead by the time we got there."
The voice of the paramedic carried over.
"No. Not mum. Not mum," James heard himself whisper.
A single sob, heartbroken. And then he held the rest of the pain inside, Sirius' hand squeezing his own as silent tears fell down their cheeks.
…
"You can see him now, he's very unwell, we suspect internal injuries. His blood pressure has stabilised somewhat, but we're going to have to operate urgently. He wants to speak to you," the nurse said kindly, patting James on the shoulder.
James stood up.
"Thank you," he said.
He felt numb.
"You too," the nurse turned to Sirius and smiled sadly. "He was asking for both of you."
New tears shone in Sirius' eyes and he nodded, unable to speak.
"James, Sirius," Fleamont's voice was frail and faint. "My boys."
"Dad, it's alright, we're here," said James, trying to steady his voice as he kissed his father's pale cheek. "You're going to be okay."
"Always so positive," smiled Fleamont, his smile tender as he gazed on his son adoringly. "And always exaggerating."
He winked conspiratorially at Sirius, patting his hand gently.
"We all know that is not true," he continued, as both of them leaned in to hear what he was saying. "I don't know if I'm going to make it, chaps. Look after your mother for me, won't you? She loves you both so much. She'll need company, she'll miss me if I go, nobody to annoy her all day, eh?"
He coughed, his breathing more shallow.
"James," he said urgently, grasping at his t-shirt weakly. "Promise me you'll do the right thing for those people involved in the Salazar trial. Promise me you'll sort them all out… treatment, compensation… they shouldn't have to sue. I don't trust the others. Give them everything they need, even if it means it takes away most of what we have?"
James squeezed his hand and tried not to cry.
"I promise dad, if you're not here I'll sort it all out."
"Sirius, you too, look after James and mum, won't you?" Fleamont whispered. "They're too soft, especially him."
He snorted quietly and smiled at Sirius.
"You're the best thing that ever happened to us, Sirius," he added, winking at James.
"Ha! Favouritism!" said James, smiling between tears and feigning indignation.
Sirius could only shake his head.
"You're the best… you and mum," he tried to say it, but it was too much, so he contented himself with burying his face in Fleamont's arm and crying quietly.
"The Will," Fleamont said, looking at James. "The inheritance goes to you and Sirius, there won't be much left after this is all sorted out, but make sure to keep some money aside for the two of you, and finish your bloody degree, both of you!"
He shot a stern look at Sirius in particular, one that was so reminiscent of James that it made him smile.
"We need to get him into theatre straight away," the surgeon interrupted them quietly, a strained and apologetic look on his face. "There's internal bleeding, his blood pressure has just dropped."
Fleamont coughed weakly and as James caught Sirius' gaze he knew that they were going to lose him too.
...
The next day Fleamont had passed away quietly, joining his dearly beloved wife. James knew he would have preferred it that way. Helping Sirius deal with the media frenzy, trying to help Sirius locate Reg (to no avail), dealing with his father's solicitors in trying to compensate the patients affected in the trial, dealing with Sirius' rage as his mother avoided jail and his father got a suspended sentence, seeing Sirius spiral into depression and start self-medicating with drugs, helping him through rehab. When Sirius was back to himself he allowed himself to grieve, railing at the unfairness of it all. But they had, eventually, both finished college, got their final med exams and started working in the areas they felt drawn to – Sirius in Emergency Medicine and James in Psychiatry.
And Lily Evans? He had seen her at his parents' funeral, but they hadn't spoken. He still had the card she had sent him saying how sorry she was for his loss. But in the midst of all his life imploding, he hadn't tried to contact her again. Let her believe what she wanted.
And as for Sirius, he had never forgiven himself for everything that happened that day. As far as he was concerned, he was to blame. It was his fault Reg was missing, presumed dead – he should have protected him somehow. It was his fault Fleamont had suffered a heart attach that day which resulted in the death of the people he loved most in the world and ruined his best friend's life. It was his fault his parents had bankrupted the Potters, he should have guessed what was going on and put a stop to it sooner. It was his fault Snape had been seriously injured and that James had gotten hurt trying to protect him. And his fault that Lily Evans hated James.
Now that he was sober, he could work. He loved his job. He loved his friends. He was highly attractive, he had plenty of people asking him out, hitting on him. But he avoided relationships like the plague. Even if someone as wonderful as Remus ever came into his life again (which he sincerely doubted), he would never be good enough for them.
Hope you liked it? Or not? leave a review if you want! Also, If anyone is reading this can they please leave a comment/note just so I know, otherwise I'll just post on ao3, but happy to keep posting here if anyone is!