Chapter 5: I Could Fly
"Busy night?" asked Alice, a rueful smile on her lips as she looked at Dr. Evans.
"Pretty busy," said Lily, looking up briefly from under the stack of files surrounding her.
Dr. Alice Prewett had recently completed her Senior Registrar training and was due to take up a post at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in six months as Consultant Cardiologist. Lily was going to miss her terribly.
"That's over thirty files, Lily!" said Alice. "Bit of an understatement?"
"It is!" said Lily smiling at her and trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn. "The post call ward round went on for hours! Shacklebolt nearly died!"
"You want a coffee?" asked Alice.
Lily looked wrecked. Her makeup long worn off, her eyes red, her auburn hair frizzy and her Dutch plait coming undone.
"I'd love one, Alice! You're a star! Are you sure you have time to get one?" groaned Lily, her elbow on the desk holding her head up wearily.
"I'm getting one anyway," Alice lied. "Back in a jiffy!"
As soon as Alice left, Lily closed her eyes briefly. She had been up for thirty-three hours so far, and she still had to finish her jobs from the ward-round and then run down to the hectic outpatient clinic. Realistically, once she finished there and completed her dictations, she still had to run back onto the ward to check on a few urgent results, so it was unlikely she would be leaving the hospital before seven or eight that evening. And she hadn't had time for breakfast or lunch yet, just a bar of chocolate in the corridor during rounds. Her head jerked as she felt herself falling asleep.
"Lily, I was hoping we could meet up for a drink, maybe later tonight?"
Lily sat up suddenly, and stared up into Snape's dark eyes, now inches away from her. She gripped her pen as pent up anger and frustration swelled.
"No, I will not meet you for a damned drink, Severus. How many times do I have to tell you? You are not my friend, and I am not interested in dating you, leave me alone!"
"It's just a drink, Lily, it wouldn't mean anything," he retorted, his dark eyes flashing with irritation.
"I. Don't. Want. To." said Lily firmly. "Do you not understand the meaning of the word no?"
"There's no need to be rude, Lily!" said Severus, his voice rising slightly.
"I'm not being rude," sighed Lily, trying to remain calm. "I said no, and I mean no. That's all."
"We were friends once, best friends," Severus said, unable to keep the bitterness from his tone. "I can't believe you'd be so cruel as to refuse to have one measly drink with me, for old times' sake! When you know I'm lonely in this city. That I go home to an empty apartment every day."
"Fuck off, Severus! I'm tired of your emotional blackmail, leave me alone!" said Lily sitting up straight and glaring at him defiantly.
"I can't believe I used to confide in you. You know more about me than anyone else in the world. I have you down as my next of kin since my parents died, and yet you won't even spend a few minutes talking to me. I never thought you'd turn out to be so cruel, Lily!" said Severus, his voice shaking.
"Stop trying to make me feel guilty! You know very well why I don't want to be alone with you! If you weren't such a pervy creep, and a racist bigot, we could still be friends. It's entirely your fault that we are no longer are," said Lily angrily.
She was tired, and hungry, and thinking about what had happened with Severus was too distressing.
"Lily, I said I was sorry!" said Severus angrily, stepping nearer to her and placing his hand on her shoulder. "For fuck's sake, you have to forgive me at some point and move on, start treating me normally!"
"Stay away from me!" said Lily sharply, getting up and backing away immediately. "I can't treat you normally because you still refuse to leave me alone! If you don't leave this minute, I'm calling security or set off my cardiac arrest bleep!"
She was backed into the corner of the small room now, unable to reach her phone. She looked dangerous.
"There's no need for that, Lily, don't be ridiculous," said Severus, his voice now cold and seething. "You're always exaggerating, making mountains out of molehills. You can't even tell who has your best interests at heart! If you're not careful, you'll end up alone and friendless. You think you're so beautiful that you can be cruel and heartless, play around with people's feelings and get away with it? Well, you'll be old soon. Who will want you then?"
"Leave me the fuck alone, Severus! I know you followed me to Dublin, despite the fact you despise Ireland and the Irish. I know that the only reason you're still here is that you think you have a chance with me, that some day I'll relent and go out with you. That I'll return your feelings. I won't. Ever. I'm sick of this, Severus, I'm tired of you stalking and harassing me!"
She stopped, her voice was wavering now and her eyes were filled with tears.
"Just leave me alone, find someone else," she said. "Please!"
"It will always be you," he said, his eyes fixed on her. "Always!"
"Is everything alright? Only I heard raised voices so I…" a low voice asked.
Lily turned towards the door. James was standing there, looking concerned but calm.
"I," she began to say.
"Fuck off, Potter, this is none of your damned business!" said Snape furiously.
"It is my business if I think someone is harassing a colleague, Dr. Snape," said James, walking into the small room.
He looked at Lily, his eyes full of concern and warmth.
"Dr. Evans?" he said evenly.
"It's alright, James," she said, struggling to sound composed. "Dr. Snape and I had a small… disagreement. He was just leaving."
He nodded slowly, obviously not completely satisfied with her explanation, and moved aside to let Snape out. With one last intense glare at Lily, Snape left the room, elbowing past James aggressively, and knocking the files out of hands. One of the files exploded as it hit the ground and three hundred pages went flying everywhere.
James swore quietly and bent down to pick up the mess.
"I'm so sorry, James," said Lily, quickly bending down to help.
"What are you apologising for, Lily?" said James, stopping to look her in the eye. "You did nothing wrong."
They were so close to each other, and his kind hazel eyes were looking at her with so much affection and she wanted to reach out and touch him. Or kiss him.
"I'm pretty sure I did," she said quietly, turning away quickly and swiping at her eyes so he couldn't see the tears sliding down her cheeks.
"Are you sure you're alright?" he said. "I couldn't help overhearing some of the conversation between you and Snape."
She turned around to look at him, and immediately regretted it. He was looking at her steadily, and with a worried crease in his brow, and she could tell he was feeling sorry for her. She couldn't deal with his kindness. Not when she was convinced now that she had wronged him completely.
"I'm so sorry, James," she said, and she realised she was crying. "Sorry for believing what Snape said about you. I'm quite sure now that he lied to me, but at the time… I didn't know what he was really like. We were friends. I thought he was telling the truth. I never thought he'd lie about something like that. I should have given you the chance to explain.
"Please don't cry," said James. "It wasn't your fault. I don't blame you."
He hated seeing like her that, all he wanted to do was to wrap his arms around her and make her feel better, but the last thing she needed was to have another pathetic weirdo come at her, to misinterpret his concern. He stood helplessly, running his fingers through his hair and feeling his stomach twisting unpleasantly.
"You're too kind, James Potter," she said, taking deep breaths to steady herself.
"I'm not," he started, shaking his head.
"You are, James, whoever you end up with is one hell of a lucky girl!" she said, half laughing and half crying.
He gave her a quick smile that didn't reach his eyes. They looked at each other silently then, neither of them willing to say what they were thinking. James' bleep went off and they both jumped.
"Shit, the ward," said James, looking at the extension number. "I have to answer that. Are you sure you're okay? I don't like… it sounded concerning."
"I'm fine, completely fine, sorry for delaying you, go ahead," said Lily, awkwardly holding her arms tightly across her chest.
He paused at the door and looked back at her.
"I still consider you my friend, Lily, after all these years. I hope you know you can count on me if you're going through anything difficult," he said.
There was no mistaking the sincerity in his voice. They could have been more than friends. It was her fault that now they were never going to be anything more. And he should have hated her really. She didn't deserve his friendship.
She forced herself to smile back.
"Yes of course, James, you can count on me too," she said. "Thank you."
He nodded, and she couldn't shake off the feeling that he looked sad as he walked out to the nurses' station and answered his bleep. Lily noticed the two nurses standing nearby shoot him a dirty look. She wondered why, as over the previous three months since he had started working in St. Godric's, she had heard nothing but praise from medical and nursing colleagues, and more tellingly, from patients and secretarial staff. Praise for James as a doctor, and as a person. They hadn't talked much. When they had spoken though, run into each other by chance, he was just as she had remembered him - warm, kind, funny, self-deprecating in a humorous way. He seemed to be avoiding her. He was definitely avoiding Snape and Rosier, but then so was she. He was also avoiding Remus Lupin, and she had no idea why.
She followed him out and waited as he took the call, noticing how well his white shirt suited him, rolled up to his elbows, the white material pulled across his broad shoulders. Pathetically.
"I have to go," he said, putting down the phone. "Bit of a glass-related emergency."
She raised her brow and he shrugged casually.
"Take care," she said.
He nodded and turned to walk off.
"James!" she called after him, as he reached the end of the corridor.
He turned immediately.
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it, Lily" he smiled back. "Make sure you get a good sleep tonight."
….
"Dr. Potter keeping you busy?" Alice asked, handing Lily a coffee.
"Thanks," Lily said distractedly.
She was deep in thought, staring down the now empty corridor.
"Lily, are you alright?" Alice said, crossing her arms.
"What? Sorry, yes, fine, just had a difficult conversation, that's all," said Lily, pushing her fringe off her face.
"You know if that git is harassing you again, you need to tell his boss, or threaten him with the Guards. Honestly, I was completely fooled by his charm, but he's a complete prick! I can't believe he did that to you! You should have told me, Lily," said Alice, looking incensed.
"What do you mean?" said Lily.
"Stop acting confused, I heard about Potter stalking you when you were medical students in London," said Alice quietly.
"Excuse me?" said Lily, looking horrified. "Where did you hear that?"
"Frank told me, he said Severus told him, asked him to keep it hush-hush, but he obviously told me…" sighed Alice, placing a hand on Lily's shoulder.
"That's a lie!" said Lily, gritting her teeth and looking white as a sheet. "James never did anything remotely like that, ever! How dare Snape spread lies about him. I'm going to kill him!"
"Shit, I'm sorry, Lily" gasped Alice. "But why would Severus…"
"Because he's a lying bastard," said Lily, her voice shaking with rage. "I'm only beginning to realise the full extent of his… awfulness."
She gripped Alice's shoulders.
"You've got to tell Frank the truth, Alice!" she said. "I will not have that bastard ruining James' reputation!"
"Okay, sure, I'll let him know straight away," said Alice, looking stunned.
"Where are you going, Lily?" Alice called after her, as Lily stormed out of the ward. "The outpatient department is that way! And you're already late!"
"I'm giving Snape a piece of my mind!" she said, without turning back, her emerald eyes blazing.
As she raced down the corridor, she saw herself back in the flat in Dagenham, that Friday evening, confronting Snape…
Eight Years Earlier…
"Are you telling me that you installed that camera in my room, that you've been looking at…" she whispered, disgust overwhelming her.
"Lily, it's not as bad as it looks, I swear," began Severus, stepping backwards away from her.
"You're going to stand there, and fucking defend yourself? You pervert! You disgust me!" she said, feeling nauseated.
"I'm so sorry Lily, it was a mistake! I wish I hadn't done it! But I really love you, I always have, and it hurt me so much that you didn't seem interested, and I just wanted to feel close to you, that's all."
"You love me?" said Lily, shuddering. "That isn't love, Severus! That's obsession! That's wrong, Severus, it's wrong and gross and God, I can't believe it…"
She retched and held onto the door frame, feeling lightheaded, hyperventilating now.
"I'm going to be sick."
She ran into the bathroom and vomited bile, crying and cursing and shaking with anger. Gripping the sink, she splashed cold water onto her face, taking deep breaths. This couldn't be happening, maybe it was just a bad dream…
"Lily, please!"
Snape had followed her to the bathroom, he was right behind her at the door, and she stifled a scream.
"Get away from me!" she said hoarsely.
"Lily," he said again, holding his hands in the air. "I'm not going to try anything, I never once went near you all these years!"
"Are you trying to make me think what you did was okay?" said Lily, her voice low.
When Snape didn't answer, she took out her phone and started dialling.
"Who are you calling?" asked Snape.
"The police," she replied shakily.
"Don't! Lily, please!" said Snape, moving towards her again. "It was a mistake, I shouldn't have done it, I was so upset with everything that happened recently - after I found out you had a date with Potter, and then getting attacked by Potter's thugs two weeks ago, I could have died! And remember my mum is only dead less than a year…"
She wanted to tell him that was no excuse. But she wavered momentarily, and he seemed to sense it.
"Please, Lily, it would ruin my career!" he said desperately. "I'll kill myself if you tell anyone, I swear I will. I'd have nothing left to live for!"
In hindsight she knew he had emotionally blackmailed her, but at the time, she faltered in her resolve. She felt stupid and foolish and idiotic, looking back on it, but at the time she couldn't help feeling sorry for him and worrying he would follow through on his threat. He had few friends, no family, he was lonely, and bitter, and she would blame herself if anything happened …
She hung up the call. They stood facing each other.
"Right, here's what happens, Severus," she said, white and shivering. "You pack your belongings and leave by tomorrow, move in with Rosier or another one of your racist friends, I don't care where you go. Our friendship is over. Don't ever try anything like that again, with me or with anyone else, or I swear to you, I'll go to the police and tell them everything. Is that clear?"
"I promise it won't happen again. And I'd never do that to anyone else, you know I love you," he started.
"Fuck off!" Lily said. "That is not love, Severus, don't ever say that to me again!"
He had walked off without another word. She had made up an excuse and stayed with Marlene that night. When she came back the following day, he was gone. No trace of him left in the small flat, aside from a Post-it note placed on her pillow with one word written on it.
'Always'
…
The ED had been hectic so far that day, and Sirius was dying for a fifth cup of coffee. And having a mountain of paperwork to catch up on was putting him in a worse mood. He lifted his head as he heard James' warm voice greeting him, and some of the tension left him.
"Hey, Pads, good to see you! Surviving?" James asked, taking in the overcrowded emergency room, and heated voices coming from a few neighbouring cubicles.
"Just about!" said Sirius, sighing dramatically. "So far I've seen two trauma victims from a RTA, two cardiac arrests, three fractured hips, two collapse query cause, two acute abdomens and your patient."
"My patient?" James smiled at Sirius.
"Yeah, I know you hate when you hear patients referred to as the hip in bed five or the appendix in bed six. I fall into it when I'm shit busy, but I never do it for psych patients, ever. Positive discrimination, I suppose, seeing as they usually get the opposite treatment! And I don't want an earful from you either," Sirius grinned back.
"Damn right!" said James, looking pleased. "I can be very annoying when I get on my high horse."
"Is he okay, though, Oscar Quinn?" said Sirius quietly. "He didn't look great to me."
"No, you were right, he's not well. The poor bloke recently lost his job, which was completely unexpected, and then he stopped taking his meds, and now he's very paranoid. Utterly convinced that terrorists are out to get him, and someone has planted a microchip in his ear. He's lost lots of weight, believes someone is poisoning his food, and he was dehydrated as well. I managed to talk him around and he's decided to come into hospital for a short admission. For some reason the abnormal bloods seemed to convince him," said James, sounding relieved.
"How'd you do that?" asked Sirius in amazement. "He wouldn't tell me anything at all! I couldn't even get him to answer yes or no. Absolutely terrified of all the ED staff. I was convinced he was going to leave without being seen."
"Training?" shrugged James.
"Training my arse, Dr. Potter!" said Benjy, joining the conversation. "I've seen you dealing with very tricky situations here for the past few months, and I'm telling you - you're good. Very good. And you give a shit, unlike those with burnout."
James looked embarrassed and ran a hand through his hair.
"Well, that's pretty normal," he began.
"Which of you is the Psych Reg?" an angry voice asked.
They all turned to see a small, tight-lipped, short-necked woman wearing a pink suit.
"Who are you?" demanded Sirius, scowling at her rudely.
"I'm Dr. Umbridge, I'm the locum consultant taking over from Dr. Moody in the immediate to medium term. Dr Moody is unwell, and I shall be taking over as Head of the ED. Going forward I shall be implementing some much-needed change initiatives. I refer to major quality and efficiency improvement protocols and policies. Do I make myself clear, Doctor?"
Sirius felt unwell himself, looking at her fake, sickly-sweet smile.
"All too clear," he replied drily.
"Psych Reg?" she repeated, looking at them in turn.
"Dr. Potter," said James, unable to bring himself to extend a handshake.
"Oh good," she smiled again. "You might note for future reference I don't want psychiatric patients crowding my department. I don't want them here, and I don't want to encourage them to come here. Do I make myself clear?"
"No, you don't," replied James, staring at her angrily. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I want your type of patients assessed as quickly as possible and discharged immediately, except under exceedingly exceptional circumstances. Understood?" she said in an unusually cheerful voice, blinking at him rapidly.
"I will continue to assess my patients as quickly as I can, and discharge them unless there are serious risk management concerns," James replied stiffly.
He hated management jargon, but he guessed Dr. Umbridge would approve and he noted the confused look on her face.
"Good, good, excellent… I think?" she said, narrowing her beady eyes. "Now, nurse Fenwick, could you please move that psych patient to St. Helga's ward immediately?"
Dr. Umbridge walked off with Benjy, looking self-important.
"You've no intention of doing anything differently, do you?" Sirius said to James quietly, glaring after her retreating figure.
"Fuck no, Not a chance," James said grimly. "She can fuck off."
"Ha! Jolly good. Wait till Mc Gonagall hears about her!" snorted Sirius.
He loved Professor Mc Gonagall and got on very well with her. They looked at each other and grinned widely. Minerva would not put up with discrimination.
"As it happens, I have supervision with her now," said James, winking at Sirius. "Talk later!"
"All very well for you, Prongs," Sirius huffed. "I'm stuck here with her in the ED, and I swear if she does anything like that again, I'm literally going to scream at her!"
"Try to avoid her, alright?" said James sympathetically. "Don't do anything stupid!"
He gave Sirius a sharp look.
"Alright, I'll try," Sirius sighed. "But it's going to drive me fucking…"
He was going to say drive me to drink and drugs, but he knew James wouldn't appreciate that humour.
"Yeah, she is!" James said, squeezing his arm sympathetically. "Don't get fired, I can't afford the rent on my own!"
Sirius grunted, and nodded. Of all the things James could have said, that was by far the most motivating sentence he could have chosen. He was not going to let James down.
…
"Snape. Outside. Now."
Sirius looked up from the nurses' station. Lily looked furious. Absolutely furious. Having to interact with Snape (albeit minimally) had been driving him bonkers. For the past few months they had hardly uttered a word to each other and Snape had been downright rude to him. Feeling guilty every time he saw Snape didn't exactly help the situation. And he had been that close to losing it completely today, between him and Umbridge. Snape had been talking to Sinead Barry, one of the Nurse Managers, but there was no mistaking the trepidation in his eyes when he turned to look at Lily. Sirius tried unsuccessfully to stop himself from grinning, caught Benjy's eye and winked.
"Excuse me, Lily, I'm busy," Snape began coldly.
"Oh I don't think you are, Snape. Outside. Now," Lily said, narrowing her eyes.
"If you'll excuse me," Snape said to the Nurse Manager hurriedly, following Lily outside the Emergency Department front doors.
The sliding doors slid shut behind them, and Sirius strained to hear what the raised voices were saying.
"I'm just popping out for a quick smoke," said Sirius lightly, shutting the file he was working on. "I haven't taken a break in hours."
Benjy raised his brow knowingly.
Sirius ignored him and slipped quietly out the side door. Snape had his back to him, but he could see Lily, in the process of tearing into Snape.
"… when you already ruined my friendship with him by lying to me about the assault all those years ago… and now trying to ruin James' reputation like that, how dare you! I can't believe you would do something like that!"
Snape's reply was guarded and low, so Sirius couldn't catch what he said, but it clearly hadn't gone down too well with Lily.
"… you have the nerve to say those things about him, when it was you? When you were the one who… in Dagenham… I should have gone to the police then… I should never have given you a chance!"
He heard Snape try to interrupt Lily then and was unable to catch the gist of the conversation that followed, except the very end.
"I don't care, Snape! I want to hear proof that you retracted those lies about James Potter by the end of the week, or I swear to God, I'm going to the Garda Station after work on Friday!"
"Fine, calm down, Lily! I'll tell them it was a mistake, that the information I got was incorrect!" Snape's voice had risen now.
"You better, and make it crystal clear, or I'll be very happy to fill them in and tell them exactly what happened!" Lily said furiously.
"You wouldn't!" said Snape, aghast.
"Oh it would be humiliating, yes, but I'd tell them in a heartbeat!" replied Lily. "I won't stand by and let you do that to him!"
"You're still obsessed with James Potter, aren't you?" sneered Snape, taking a step closer to her, now sounding livid in his own turn. "I remember watching you back then, drooling over him, so pathetic to see. Still panting after him now, like you used to, in your room, are you? Still thinking about him when you're alone? I remember watching you, when you made yourself -"
Sirius saw Lily's face turn white.
"You disgust me," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "You have two days."
…
It was getting dark, the full moon risen by now and casting an eerie light over the carpark and open spaces around St. Godric's Hospital. Remus shivered. He wished he had put on another long-sleeved t-shirt underneath his scrubs. He wished he had managed to swap out of call tonight. He was so well prepared that he usually arranged it so he took a day off at that time of the month, and was not on the rota. Lily Evans had been brilliant, she always agreed to swap with him if necessary, without asking any questions. He doubted she or anyone else had observed a pattern. But tonight he was stuck in the hospital. He felt wretched – his heart pounding in his ribs, beads of sweat on his brow, hands cold and clammy, pins and needles in his hands and around his lips. Fuck. He was hyperventilating. He really needed to calm down immediately. He willed himself to tear his eyes away from the window. Forget about the moon…
"Dr. Lupin, can you hurry up and talk to Dr. Black about that admission?" said Ms. Barry, in her no-nonsense, bossy voice which tonight Remus found quite irritating.
"Wonderful," he muttered to himself. "And I thought tonight couldn't get any better!"
"Look Lupin, I'm tired of this crap. I've done fuck all to annoy you since I started working here. What the fuck is your problem? Why are you being such a bastard? Answer me!"
It was Sirius, his eyes flashing with annoyance and hurt and sadness. But Remus didn't see that. He didn't see Sirius at all. He just heard the words.
"Why are you being such a bastard? Answer me!"
Thirteen Years ago…
And he was immediately back there. On that lonely piece of road near Carreg Cennen, beautiful and isolated, the full moon high in the cloudless sky. In the grey 1980s vintage sports car with Fen. Staring into his screaming face, trying to grope blindly for the door handle, as he heard Fen press the button and both car doors lock.
"Why are you being such a bastard? Answer me!"
Fenrir was terrifying, and so much larger than him, and he was trapped in the car with him. In the middle of nowhere.
"I… Fen, calm down, I'll talk to you if you promise to calm down," Remus said quietly, with a slight tremble in his voice, gripping the sides of his seat.
"Oh yes, first you avoid me completely, fucking report me to the police for stalking you, but now you'll talk if I calm down?" Fenrir's laugh was frenzied and cold and Remus shivered involuntarily. "You don't want me any more though, do you?"
Remus' mouth was dry, his heart pounding. There was no way out. Fenrir was a psychopath. And the thought of all the shit he had put up with, how stupid he had been not to report Fenrir at the beginning when things started to go wrong, the hell he had put him through, how he had lured him here in the car…
"No, Fen, it's over," he said, surprising himself at how calmly he was facing this, whatever this was.
"Is it, Rem?" sneered Fenrir. "Well, have it your way. It's over, but in more ways than one."
He put his foot down hard on the accelerator and the car revved loudly, dark smoke enveloping them. He turned and stared at Remus with a cruel smile.
"I've had enough, if I can't have you, then nobody else can either. You're coming with me, I'm going to fly you to the moon!"
He let go of the break suddenly, and the sports car screeched forwards at breakneck speed, hurtling down the country lane, at ever increasing speed.
"What the fuck are you doing?" screamed Remus, frantically trying to grab the steering wheel, as the car lurched from side to side.
"We're going over that cliff," Fenrir's growl lost amid the roar of the engine.
"Stop, for God's sake Fen, stop it!" he called desperately.
Screaming and grabbing the wheel and trying desperately to punch Fenrir in the face as the cliff grew closer and closer and at the last second, just as he thought it was too late, the car swerving violently and rolling over three times, splintering slivers of glass impaling themselves on his face and back and chest and arms, the sound of bending metal and burning petrol and suddenly coming to a standstill as the car stopped turning mid-air and fell back heavily onto its side. Before he blacked out, seeing Fenrir, bright under the clear moonlight… with a shard of glass sticking out of his throat, lifeless eyes still open, open mouth still smiling, pointed canine visible, a dribble of blood running down the edge of his lip…
….
"Stop, for God's sake Fen, stop it!" Remus whispered hoarsely, his eyes glazed over and terrified.
As Sirius watched in utter confusion, he backed towards the wall, and slumped slowly to the floor, his hands covering his face.
"Stop the car, please!"
Notes:
Any thoughts so far on the story?
For anyone reading this, I'm very busy at the moment so apologies if my updates are a bit slow over the next 2 months.
Love it if you leave comments, they make me smile :)