Summary:

Do James and Lily get together, do Sirius and Remus? And something bad happens...

Notes:

Warning: Reference to drugs/drug abuse, Snape being a perv, reference to PTSD, Umbridge is anti trans/transphobic

Chapter 8: Let Me Know The Truth

"This is perfect, James, just perfect!"

They sat on top of the dark rocks looking out at Howth Harbour, watching the little white sailing boats. The gulls swooping overhead and the white horses on the waves completed the nod to white details in the landscape. It was an unseasonably hot Autumn day. Lily lay back down and closed her eyes, smiling dreamily. She felt the warmth of the afternoon sun on her body, and the warmth in her chest that had everything to do with the gorgeous man lying beside her. What a perfect first date.

"Glad you think so!" said James, grinning down at her.

He still felt bad for not booking a table at The Greenhouse, one of Dublin's best restaurants. Once upon a time he would have thought nothing of it, but times had changed, and he couldn't afford it. Rents in Dublin were surprisingly expensive, and his junior doctor salary was not very generous. Nothing felt good enough for a date with Evans. Eventually he had settled for a walk by the sea. He couldn't have picked a better day for it. Maybe fate was smiling at him this time.

"Hey, look at the rabbits," he said softly, inclining his head slightly.

Lily immediately looked up, the smile on her face growing.

"Oh James! That's just so sweet!" she said quietly. "What is it with you? You managed to spot a fox, a seal, a hare, and now these guys!"

James shrugged.

"Oh you know, animal magnetism?" he winked.

"You daft eejit!" Lily snorted, smacking him lightly on his arm. "This is precisely the kind of nonsense you used to spout in college!"

"The nonsense you fell for, you mean?" he laughed, the sunlight sending his hazel eyes sparkling mischievously.

"The nonsense that made me think for years that you were a big-headed git, Potter," she teased, leaning into him, her lips tantalisingly close to his.

He opened his mouth to retaliate but it was suddenly too much - her closeness, the vivid green of her eyes against the bright blue sky, the curve of her arched eyebrows, the upturn of those lips, the burning blaze of her hair, cascading down her shoulders, the freckles under her eyes. She must have heard his heart hammering, or seen the longing in his eyes, for all of a sudden, she had pulled back.

"Do you want to go for a swim?" she blurted out.

"What?" he said.

"Come on, you'll love it! The sea is warmer than you think this time of year! Or are you not willing to brave the Irish Sea?" the challenge in her voice made him groan.

"What's the point of bringing me on a date to the sea if we don't swim, Dr. Potter?" she laughed, throwing her head back. "And I wore my bikini, and I brought a towel. Come on!"

That piece of information made him suddenly feel very warm.

"Oh fuck!" muttered James, smiling wryly as Lily pulled him up. "If I'd known, I'd have worn my lenses!"

"Come on, no excuses!" Lily said. "Scared, Potter? I didn't realise English guys were wimps!"

"Scared?" he scoffed, pulling off his jumper and t-shirt in one go. "Looks to me like you're the one stalling, Evans!"

She was stalling. Technically, she was just staring at him. Alright, she was damn well ogling Potter. Fact. She felt herself blush furiously.

"Sorry," she mumbled, looking a bit dazed. "I'd forgotten you looked like that. I mean, from the anatomy tutorials and all that…"

"Huh?" said James, who was too busy taking off his trousers to be paying attention.

"Fuck," said Lily, who was now staring at his muscular back and thighs, as she absentmindedly bit her lip.

"Did you hurt yourself?" James asked, turning around in his boxers and looking at her with concern.

She was nearly thirty. She was bloody well nearly thirty and she was acting like a love-sick teenager. Like she was back in college all over again, drooling over Potter and pretending she thought he was an idiot. And then becoming friends with him, practically best friends with him, and still pretending she didn't practically swoon every time she saw him. Because by then she knew he was also kind, and funny, and so clever it hurt, and silly, and generous to a fault, and fiercely loyal, and laughed at himself all the time, and watched out for weaker students, and stood up to racist bigots and made her smile and laugh. And she was in love with him. Sitting next to him in the library despite the fact she could concentrate on fuck all when he was beside her, looking at his beautiful forearms, and his strong jaw, and his messy black hair, and his beautiful eyes and…

"Fuck!" Lily said.

"Er, Lily?" said James.

"Sorry, yeah," she managed to say. "I, er, stubbed my toe."

"Here, let me!" he said, dropping to his knees.

"I'm fine," she said in a strangled voice, looking at the man kneeling in front of her.

"I always liked your feet," said James, gently moved her toes. "You have uncommonly nice feet. And I like blue nail varnish, it always suited you."

"You really are a charmer, as though you remember my feet!" she laughed quietly, running her fingers through his hair momentarily.

"I'm not!" he huffed, looking at her with a strange look in his eyes.

He stood up.

"I love lots of things about you. I love that you always paint your toenails blue. I love that you only properly wake up after 11am. I love that when you laugh, you throw your head back and close your eyes. I love that when you study, you highlight everything single word on the page. I love that you rub your sternum when you're anxious and bite your lip when you try something new. I love that you always stop and talk to dogs when you're out walking. I love that you call me out on bullshit. I love that you make ridiculous excuses for your awful sister, cause you still care, despite it all. I love that you're too kind, and you give people too many chances."

Except him. She had been too hard on him, and she had been wrong. She was looking at him with genuine regret.

"Not really," she said.

She suddenly didn't feel particularly confident. He was gorgeous, and she had seen him like this before, rolled her eyes at dozens of girls making heart eyes and him and at Sirius. And he had never seen her in a bikini before today…

He didn't have his glasses on though, thank God.

"Last one in buys lunch!" she said, biting her lip, as she threw off her clothes at an alarming speed and sped past a stunned James Potter.

"Hey!" he shouted indignantly, as a beautiful blur of auburn hair and jade green bikini disappeared. "I can't see a thing without my glasses!"

"English wimp!" she shouted back, as she dove head first into the sea.

"Evans, you're so dead!" said James, unable to stop the laughter that bubbled up from inside him as he raced after her.

"Fucking hell! It's fucking freezing, Evans!" he gasped a few seconds later.

"English wimp!" she laughed, treading water nearby and splashing his face in amusement.

"That's it, Evans!" he spluttered. "This is all out war!"

He dived under water and she screamed and giggled as he grabbed hold of her legs and ducked her under the water.

…

Afterwards they feasted on fish and chips wrapped in newspaper, huddled in a shivery mess on a bench overlooking the hill, giggling as though they were drunk. Lily dipping her chips in tartar sauce and feeding them to James before promptly stealing back a few. Surely it meant something, the lingering touches, the touch of her fingers caressing his jumper, stroking his arms? He wasn't imagining her radiant smile, directed at him, only for him? They were on a date, it wasn't a huge deal. Aside from the fact that he was madly in love with her. He gave her his rust coloured jumper, because she wouldn't stop shivering and he wouldn't take no for an answer.

He bought her a hot port in the Summit Inn, after she insisted on dragging him for a walk to warm up. The pub on top of Howth Hill overlooked the islands of Ireland's Eye and Lambay. It was traditional and cosy, and they sat near the turf fire in the corner, laughing and reminiscing about college. He told her about that day, the full story - his parents, about Sirius and his family. It felt right. He felt guilty when he saw her looking upset and apologising again for believing what Snape had told her.

"It's in the past now, Lily," he said kindly, squeezing her hand and forgetting to let go afterwards.

"He won't ever keep us apart now, I won't let him," she said, looking stubborn as hell, her cheeks flushed and her eyes overly bright.

"I don't doubt that for a minute!" he replied.

The glow in his chest was nothing to do with the hot whiskey he had ordered.

"I'm so glad you didn't bring me somewhere posh!" said Lily, lounging back comfortably against the worn seat.

James cocked his head to one side.

"You know, like you used to do with your girlfriends in college?" she smirked. "Name dropping posh London restaurants?"

James cleared his throat and rubbed the stubble on his chin.

"I did used to do that, didn't I," he cringed. "Sad bastard."

"Yeah, you did," she agreed, grinning at him. "Nice to see you grew out of it!"

James felt himself flush slightly. The fact was, he had always been very generous, if not a bit extravagant, with his friends and girlfriends. He liked spending money on other people, it hadn't been just a snobby phase. But he hadn't told Lily that he couldn't have afforded that type of evening any more. He felt ashamed about that. She deserved the world, someone who could make sure she never had to worry about money. He hadn't worked up the courage to tell her. And besides, wasn't he going to have a good, permanent, well-paid job some day? Not ridiculously rich like he had been, but very comfortably off?

Somehow the whole day went by, talking, and they ended up missing the last train, and had to get the bus into town. He insisted on walking her home to the tiny house she shared with Alice, in the lane behind the row of shops in Donnybrook.

"Alright, Evans?" he said, looking a bit flustered and rubbing the back of his head.

"Yeah, I am, more than alright, Potter," she smiled at him, melting his heart.

He smiled back warmly, lingering on the porch, his hazel eyes twinkling in the gloom.

"Do you want to come in, Potter?" she asked, fidgeting with the zip of her jacket. "Alice is out."

"Do you want me to?" he said.

"I want you, James Fleamont Potter," she said, pulling him towards her, her voice was soft and low.

"Lily?" he said, scanning her face to make sure he wasn't misreading the situation.

"James."

The way she said his name, the way he could see her chest rising and falling with emotion, the way her hands were gripping his collar so tightly, like she was afraid he might go – it made him soar. And then they were kissing and he was lost in her sighs and moans and the touch of her fingertips, and he was pushing her up against the door, kissing her neck as she struggled to open it, her hand trembling and her bag and keys falling to the floor.

"I wanted this for so long," she said, still kissing him deeply, pulling him towards her bedroom.

"You've no idea Lily," he moaned, pulling her closer to him, gently and urgently.

"Don't stop," she pleaded, as her back hit the bed and she wrapped herself around him.

His mouth trailed loving kisses and his hands intertwined with hers, in reply.

…..

That was three months ago, and they were more or less inseparable now, living between their two flats. Sirius was besides himself with glee. He couldn't be happier for James and once he got to know Lily all over again, they became best friends overnight. Not that James was jealous, it made him indescribably happy to see them bickering and squabbling like siblings.

And inevitably it resulted in Sirius spending more time with Remus, who had grown closer to Lily after that horrendous full moon. Remus, who had started to see Mc Gonagall for weekly therapy. Initially he was highly sceptical of EMDR, it frankly sounded like mumbo-jumbo. But she was right. About everything. It was impossible to move his eyes left and right and simultaneously think about the trauma with as much intensity as usual. It was not that he forgot what had happened that night. He never would. But it lost that vivid, cinematic quality - as though it had happened yesterday. He was processing the trauma, and he was coping. It was no longer stuck in the wrong folder of his hard drive (as Mc Gonagall had so excellently put it), on a never-ending loop, haunting his nightmares, flashbacks popping up unannounced at random times during the day. It was slowly moving into his long-term memory folder. Losing some of its immediate quality.

He was doing better.

And Sirius? Sirius had tried to move on, leave Remus alone. He hadn't asked him out on another date. He was on his fifth boyfriend since arriving in Ireland. Unsuccessfully, but trying nonetheless.

They were all idiots, his boyfriends, Remus privately thought, especially this current one – Gilderoy Lockhart. With a name like that? He was the new Dermatology Consultant at St. Godric's Private Hospital. Lockhart seemed singularly big headed but thick as a brick any time he had spoken to him. Remus had googled his name and found about forty research studies he had been involved in, most of them in highly influential American medical journals. But when he tried to talk to Lockhart about the research, because he was being kind and didn't want to behave like a jealous bastard, he seemed utterly lost.

"Oh yes, the Columbia Study, that was, er, a good one," Gilderoy said, looking ill at ease. "Remind me what it was about again?"

Gilderoy took a sip of his Chardonnay and winked over at Sirius. They were at a hideously boring party at Dr. Mc Carthy's elegant house. Gilderoy was holding the glass with his little finger extended outwards. Chardonnay was disgusting, and that mannerism really irritated the fuck out of Remus. Sirius raised his glass marginally and smiled back at Lockhart. He really was incredibly stupid, Remus thought to himself, to have turned down Sirius' offers (offers!) of coffee or drinks. Like he was afraid to let himself be happy, too scared to try and have another relationship with someone, especially someone he was utterly smitten with. That's what Minerva had told him (not that he had mentioned Sirius by name) and he agreed wholeheartedly.

"The one about hydrochlorothiazide and the risk of cutaneous squamous cell carcinoma?" said Remus, struggling inordinately to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

"Oh yeah, that one!" said Gilderoy, looking slightly bewildered. "Yeah, it worked really well to, er, prevent the skin cancer, definitely."

"Prevent?" asked Remus, with a confused frown. "Surely you mean the opposite?"

"Oh yes, silly me! Whatever!" said Gilderoy.

He grinned charmingly and got up to stand beside Sirius, who had been watching them from the other side of the room. He kissed Sirius lightly on the cheek and gave a long-suffering sigh.

"Oh my word, that guy is so boring!" he said loudly, taking another sip of his wine. "I just had to move! Who on earth invited him? I mean look at his clothes! His clothes? Horrific! And his scars, darling, his scars? Ugh, too dreadful looking!"

Sirius stared at Gilderoy, his eyes narrowing.

"What did you just say?" he spoke with a stiff upper lip, his upper-class accent bordering on the obscene.

"Oh just that he has no taste, no personality and he's not much in the looks department either," sneered Gilderoy, who was too bust trying to catch sight of himself in the mirror to notice how livid Sirius looked. "You'd have to feel sorry for him, I suppose."

"Really?" said Sirius, smiling dangerously. "Because I think he's by far the best-looking guy I've ever laid eyes on."

"What?" spluttered Gilderoy, spilling his drink and looking at his wet shirt with horror. "Look what you made me do!"

"Yeah," continued Sirius casually. "I'm probably a 9 out of 10, 10 out of 10 on a good day. You're a 6 out of 10, at best. Your hair is all wrong and you look like someone from a 90s boyband, who's trying too hard. Remus Lupin is a fucking 12 out of 10. He's completely out of your league. Our league. He deserves better."

Remus had no idea what they were talking about, but he could see Sirius as he spoke. The disdainful glare, the toss of his silky hair, the fire in his cool grey eyes, the dismissive once-over. In his expensive black suit and perfect white shirt which made his eyes stand out, like the surface of a silver lake. Remus tugged at his collar, feeling indefeasibly turned on. Fuck. They were just having a bloody tiff. A lovers' tiff.

"Get a grip!" he whispered to himself sternly.

He needed more alcohol.

"How dare you!" said Gilderoy following Sirius, who had walked into the kitchen and was pouring himself a large glass of expensive Italian Brunello and blatantly ignoring him. Gilderoy had turned bright red with embarrassment as he saw some colleagues enter the room who had obviously heard the tail end of their conversation. He turned to them, pointing accusingly at Sirius.

"He thinks Remus Lupin is better looking!" he squeaked.

Rosier and Snape looked at Lockhart with bored expressions and said nothing.

"Remus Lupin is gorgeous, everyone knows that," said James, who had walked in after Sirius to check if he was alright and was grinning widely. "And 6 out of 10 for Lockhart is a bit too generous, Pads. If you include the fact that has an unfeasibly large ego, I think he can't be more than a 4?"

Snape was looking at him as though he wanted to kill him, but James was used to it. Ever since he had started dating Lily, Snape had been incredibly rude to him at every available opportunity. The fact that James had managed to act as though it was just water off a duck's back infuriated Snape even more.

"Remus Lupin? 12 out of 10, definitely," said Lily, walking in behind James and joining in the conversation.

James gave her an adoring look.

"Are you all bonkers?" said Gilderoy, who was trying to plaster a fake smile onto his face and failing.

"I'm way more attractive, surely?"

He looked at Lily and winked suggestively, like he thought he had a chance with her. Lily burst out laughing and spilt out some of her drink, unable to speak as she laughed silently and waved her hand towards him.

"Too funny!" she managed to say in between giggles.

"Well I'm glad to have been such a source of amusement to you all!" Gilderoy sniffed. "Sirius Black, it's over!"

And he stormed out of the room with as much dignity as he could muster, colliding with Remus who was headed for the kitchen in search of more alcohol.

"Bloody hell," muttered Remus, walking into the room and feeling self-conscious as all eyes turned towards him.

His face and shirt were completely saturated. He looked at Sirius and raised his right eyebrow.

"Bit high maintenance, isn't he?" he commented dryly.

"Was," replied Sirius, putting down his drink immediately. "I'm terribly sorry old thing, let me get you a clean shirt."

"God no, no need!" said Remus.

He blushed immediately and wiped his face dry with his sleeve to divert attention. Sirius was standing right in front of him by then, and the sight of him standing so close sent Remus' heart racing.

"I insist," said Sirius, effortlessly steering him out of the door. "Let's see if Mc Carthy has any of his fiancé's shirts you could borrow, Gideon Prewett is roughly your size, I bet. Lily, could you help us out?"

"Sorry, back in a minute," said Lily, smiling up at James and following the two men into the hall.

James' eyes lingered on her retreating figure momentarily, before turning back to the two men opposite him. Two men he had hoped to avoid all evening. He held up the wine bottle.

"Gentlemen?" he asked, keeping his tone neutral.

"Fuck off, you sneering, condescending little shit," hissed Snape, eyeing him with disgust. "Gloating about the fact that you managed to get Lily Evans to go out with you. It won't last, she'll see right through you, and she'll dump you like a hot brick."

"Charming as always, Snape," said James, pouring himself a large glass of wine and regarding him calmly.

"Bet you haven't told her you're broke now. No trust fund parents, no fancy houses, no big bank accounts," Snape said.

James' grip around the wine glass tightened.

"You obviously don't know Lily at all, she doesn't give a shit about stuff like that. Never did," he said.

Snape saw him clenching his jaw at the mention of his parents and smiled.

"Oh I think you'll find she's highly ambitious now, Potter. The only guys she's dated since she moved to Ireland all had one thing in common – they're all inordinately rich," Snape said, shaking his head with mock concern. "Poor Potter, get ready to be dumped pretty quickly as soon as she finds out!"

James stared at him and flexed his hand a few times before downing the wine in one go.

"Thanks for the warning," he said. "I think I know Lily Evans a bit better than you."

"Sure you do," Snape smiled, and left the room.

"I wouldn't be so sure, Potter," smirked Rosier, after a short pause, sipping his Prosecco. "I believe he knows Lily Evans quite intimately, if you get my drift?"

James stared at him wordlessly.

"Actually, I don't know are you aware quite how intimately? Back in London, he used to secretly watch her through a hidden camera in her room?" Rosier's smile grew wider.

"What?" said James.

"Don't believe me? Ask Lily herself, she's aware of what happened," said Rosier, tilting his wine glass in James' direction. "Of course, this conversation is strictly off the record."

James could hear the blood pounding in his ears, his mouth had gone dry.

"Excuse me," he heard himself say.

He walked back into the sitting room and saw Snape standing idly beside Alice, who looked very uncomfortable talking to him.

"You fucking bastard!" he said, grabbing Snape by his shirt collar.

"Let go of me, Potter!" said Snape angrily, trying to get away.

"You creepy fucker!" James said, his voice shaking with rage.

Understanding dawned on Snape's face and he looked suddenly frightened, before proceeding to kick James in the shin. James retaliated by punching him in the jaw, which sent him spiralling backwards, knocking against Dr. Mc Carthy and Alice, glasses smashing to the floor. A few people screamed in fright at the sound. Lily came racing into the room just at that time.

"What on earth happened?" she said, taking in Snape's figure on the ground and James' face.

"I…" James said, looking torn.

"James," said Lily. "What did you do?"

"He punched me!" said Snape angrily, trying to get himself back up with help from the onlookers. "And if you think I'm letting that go, you're completely wrong!"

He turned to Dr. Mc Carthy.

"I'm calling the police," he said, glaring at James while he massaged his jaw.

"Oh for fuck's sake," muttered Dr. Mc Carthy, shaking his head in disbelief. "This is ridiculous. What the hell is going on with you two?"

"James?" Lily said quietly, holding on to James' arm and removing him from the room.

"Fuck. I'm sorry Lily," said James, who looked a bit shell-shocked.

When she didn't speak, he sighed heavily.

"Rosier told me about Snape planting that camera and I just…" he looked at her briefly. "I lost it. I'm sorry."

Lily's face had turned white.

"Rosier knows?" she asked quietly.

James nodded and seeing the look in her face, he placed a hand on her shoulder and brought her in for a hug.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew something like this would happen," she said, sighing, and holding on to him tightly.

The doorbell rang a few minutes later, and James saw the high viz jacket through the door.

"Fuck," he muttered. "The Guards."

"Let me deal with it," said Lily, with a resolute look on her face.

They heard the male and female Guards speaking with Snape in low voices, writing some notes and when they came over to James, Lily intervened.

"I think it was all just a bit of a misunderstanding, Guard," she said firmly. "My boyfriend James was defending my honour, I mean I could go into it, but I don't think there's any need, is there?"

She was looking straight over at Snape as she spoke.

"Unless you want me to?"

Snape's nostrils flared angrily for a second.

"No, no need for that," he said tersely. "It was a misunderstanding, I won't be taking this further."

"Oh, right," said the young male Guard, scratching his ear in confusion. "Eh, okay, fair enough, sure that's grand so. We'll leave it there then, might be best if your fella left though, to avoid any more shenanigans with your ex, alright?"

"Yes, I think you're referring to my ex-friend, but we can certainly leave," said Lily, pursing the mouth tightly. "Thank you."

"No bother at all," the female Guard said to Lily pleasantly, looking relieved that their work was finished.

She nodded at James in a less friendly manner.

…..

"You're very distracted today, Dr. Black," teased Benjy. "Any scandal I need to be aware of?"

Sirius scowled at him and tried to go back to concentrate on writing his notes.

"Fine," he sighed dramatically after a few seconds. "Gilderoy Lockhart broke it off with me yesterday."

"Oh," said Benjy, regarding him shrewdly. "And this upsets you?"

"No!" said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "Obviously not. He was a complete bimbo."

"Sirius, you're a complete disaster, if you don't mind me saying so," snorted Benjy. "I mean you've had, what, a handful of boyfriends in the past few months, none of whom you're actually remotely interested in?"

"And?" said Sirius, tossing his hair back defiantly.

"And all that time it's been painfully obvious to everyone that you're pining after a certain Dr. Lupin," continued Benjy. "You have it bad, mate!"

Sirius gaped at him open mouthed.

"No I haven't!" he cried indignantly.

Benjy burst out laughing.

"Hey, Sorcha," he called over to one of the younger Casualty Nurses. "Who does Dr. Black fancy?"

"Duh!" she said, rolling her eyes. "Too easy! Remus Lupin."

"Oh fuck!" said Sirius, looking at them both in shock. "Am I really…"

"Yep!" said Benjy. "Very."

"Afraid so, chicken!" Sorcha nodded and patted his arm as she walked past him.

"Ugh!" said Sirius, dropping his head onto the desk. "Fuck off all of you, I hate you!"

"Love you too," laughed Benjy.

"I tried, you know," said Sirius grumpily, his head still on the desk. "He said no."

"Oh!" said Benjy, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "Well that's odd, cause he's practically as smitten as you are, and just as oblivious! I mean he definitely thinks you're extremely hot."

Sirius' head shot up so quickly he nearly sprained his neck.

"He does?" he said, eyes wide.

"Duh!" said Sorcha, who was on her way back from the supply room. "Don't sound so shocked, Sirius, you are our resident hottie!"

"Well yeah," said Sirius pouting. "I am, but I really don't think he's even remotely interested."

"Oh my good Lord, Sirius," sighed Benjy. "You know, for someone very intelligent you're completely dense at times, do you know that?"

"I'm telling you, he said no," began Sirius.

"What's happening with that patient in cubicle nine?" a high, shrill voice interrupted them.

Sirius' face turned sour.

"Waiting for a psych review, Dr. Umbridge," he said, attempting to remain vaguely civil.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Dr. Black, I do NOT want my ED clogged up by these patients?" she said, smiling too broadly. "Why is he not discharged yet?"

"Firstly, it's she, not he," said Sirius angrily. "Secondly, she's presenting with increasing anxiety and depression in the context of being on a long waiting list for an endocrinology appointment to start hormone blockers. She has gender dysphoria. I'm not sending her home. She attends the Gender Identity Development Team who recommended a more urgent appointment for her with the endocrinology team."

"Gender Dysphoria, trans, the whole thing is ridiculous! It's a load of rubbish," said Umbridge, with a fake laugh. "Discharge him at once!"

"I am not discharging her until there's a plan in place!" said Sirius, raising his voice. "It's unethical!"

"Don't you dare accuse me of unethical practice, Dr. Black!" said Umbridge, who was now beetroot coloured. "I can have you suspended for that!"

"I don't give a flying fuck what you do," said Sirius.

He was furious. This type of behaviour reminded him forcefully of his bigoted parents. He wasn't going to let her get away with it or intimidate him.

"Very well," said Dr. Umbridge, pursing her lips tightly. "I shall discharge him myself! And I'll deal with you afterwards. You're in serious trouble."

"Do I look like I give a shit?" replied Sirius angrily.

"You'll do no such thing!"

Dr. Umbridge whirled round.

"I heard every last bit of that conversation, Dr. Umbridge, and I can guarantee you I'll be the one requesting your suspension. Don't you dare go near that patient!"

Dr. Umbridge was staring at Remus in silence, too stunned to speak.

"I presume you heard what she said?" Remus turned to Benjy and Sorcha.

They both nodded.

"Good, I'll be needing written statements from both of you, please have them ready by tomorrow morning," Remus said.

"Yes, Dr. Lupin," Benjy said. "With pleasure."

"Me too!" said a middle-aged woman who was in a trolley on her way to the x-ray department. "My friend's son had gender dysphoria and he's very happy now, after getting the right help. And if they dare suspend Dr. Black, I'm staging a sit in protest! This is my fourth time in the past six weeks in here, and he's been nothing short of brilliant each time."

"And beautiful," Remus added.

"Sorry?" the woman asked.

"Dr. Black," Remus said. "Brilliant and beautiful."

"God, yeah!" the woman smiled back at him knowingly.

"Excuse me?" Remus turned to Sirius with the beginnings of a smile.

Sirius gulped and nodded.

Remus came back after a few minutes.

"That's all sorted, Dr. Black, I've asked her to wait for a psychiatric review, but I'll see her next week in the Endocrinology outpatient clinic."

"That's incredibly … thank you," said Sirius, who had been looking at Remus all this time with a rapturous expression on his face.

"Dr. Black, was your shift due to end five minutes ago?" Remus asked.

"Yes?" said Sirius, trying not to sound desperate.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you about a patient. In private?" Remus asked.

"Er, yeah, sure," Sirius said, trying not to look too disappointed as he followed Remus down the corridor.

"I'm not sure what to do with him," began Remus, as he continued to walk in front of Sirius without looking at him. "He's been secretly pining for a friend of his for a long time, and too scared to do anything about it. In case the feeling isn't mutual. Even though his friend literally asked him out on a few occasions. I think he's afraid of falling in love. And he thinks his friend just feels sorry for him."

He had stopped outside the Medical Registrar on call room.

"What?" said Sirius, who had been utterly unable to focus on anything that Remus had said, too preoccupied by how wonderful Remus looked in his slim cut jeans.

"Pay attention, you arse!" Remus sighed.

"I swear, I was literally paying attention to your arse!" said Sirius indignantly.

Remus cleared his throat.

"Fuck, sorry!" Sirius said hurriedly. "I didn't mean to say that out loud."

Remus coughed quietly.

"Hang on," said Sirius, who had belatedly registered some of what Remus had said. "Did you just… were you talking about you and me?"

"Yes, you idiot," replied Remus, looking him straight in the eyes.

"I'm not sure how many more times you need to see me making a fool of myself to realise I'm mad about you," said Sirius.

A slow smile was spreading across his face, lighting up his beautiful features.

"You know when you told Umbridge you didn't give a flying fuck about her threats?" said Remus.

"I meant it," replied Sirius, his eyes flashing with annoyance at the mere mention of her.

"Come here," said Remus, leaning against the door of the on- call room and beckoning Sirius towards him. "That was a massive turn on."

"Oh," said Sirius. "Was it?"

His eyes had grown wide.

"Hell, yeah," said Remus, staring back at him. "You're gorgeous when you're angry."

"I think you'll find I'm gorgeous most of the time," said Sirius, smiling back.

"I hadn't noticed," said Remus teasingly, his eyes resting on Sirius' pink lips, resisting the urge to kiss him.

"Liar," said Sirius.

He was leaning into him, their lips practically touching now.

Remus swallowed, his heart beating so fast he was sure Sirius could hear it.

"Liar," repeated Sirius, breathlessly.

"Fuck this," said Remus, surging forwards and kissing him passionately.

Their hands were everywhere and somehow Sirius found himself pushed up against the door, breathing heavily.

"Fuck this," said Remus, his resolve snapping.

He kicked the door of the on-call room with his leg and they stumbled in, practically falling onto the bed.

"I don't think I can wait till we get home," he said.

"I'm not complaining," said Sirius, falling into him.

"I hope there's nobody next door," said Remus, as Sirius grabbed hold of his shirt.

"What's life without a little risk, Remus?" said Sirius.

….

The dark, panelled, ornate hotel bar smelled of a mixture of old money and organised crime.

"Do you have the merch?" said Rosier, his voice smooth and oily as he absentmindedly polished a cufflink.

"Yeah, it's all sorted there, bro," the man replied, smiling knowingly at him and sitting back with a self-satisfied air.

He had the confidence of someone who usually got what he wanted. With force if necessary. He flexed his biceps and glanced at the tattoo approvingly.

"I'm the mastermind behind this operation, and you'll answer to me directly," the tall, dark-haired woman interrupted him. "And stick your jacket back on, that gangland tattoo is far too obvious, it could show up on CCTV."

The man stared at her in silence. Despite her posh English accent, there was something deeply unsettling about the woman. Her cold grey eyes locked onto his and he shivered involuntarily.

"Cool your jets, love," he hissed, putting on his jacket immediately.

"The bag," she demanded.

He handed it to her in silence. She glanced inside it and nodded approvingly, pulling out her mobile phone and sending a rapid text.

"You'll find the payment is already in your jacket pocket," she said quietly.

"Deadly buzz," he replied. "Nice spot here, love."

He glanced around at the décor of the Boutique Hotel.

"It was, before you arrived," she replied, giving him a disconcerting smile. "I suggest you leave now, while I'm still in a decent mood?"

"Er, right," the man cleared his throat. "Nice doing business with you, Ms…?"

"Ebony," she replied, smiling at him again. "Good day."

She turned towards Rosier impatiently.

"All set?"

"Yes, Trixie," he said, his eyes gleaming with pleasure.

Bellatrix's phone buzzed, and her eyes widened with surprise.

"Change of plan," she said, her face glowing with a fanatical light. "My cousin's misfortune has been upgraded."

"Upgraded?" asked Rosier, with a worried frown.

"Termination. Permanent," she replied, without looking up. "Delightful news. Postponed, however, won't happen for a few months till our Leader is able to make it over himself."

Her initial euphoria soured quickly, and she sighed heavily.

"I was looking forward to our little scheme, I had planned it so well," she pouted. "I'm going to be so bored now!"

"I have an alternative idea you might be interested in?" said Snape, who had so far made no contribution to the proceedings.

"Oh, pray do tell," said Trixie, giggling childishly.

"Swap out the original target for tonight and replace him with your cousin's best friend, or brother as he calls himself?" Snape said.

"Ooh, Darling, how marvellous! I always planned on getting revenge for his role in bringing down Slytherin Pharma. This is delicious!" squealed Trixie, clapping her hands excitedly and regarding him with new found interest. "Do I have time?"

"They're both in work. The apartment will be empty," said Snape.

"Excellent!" said Trixie, her cheeks flushed with excitement. "It's payback time!"

….

"James, there's still the admission on the ward, and the two patients awaiting review in the ED?"

James looked up from the nurses' station where he was finishing writing his notes.

"Yeah, sure, thanks Katie," he said, glancing at his watch and groaning inwardly.

It was an exceptionally busy, again. Maybe this was the new normal. He hadn't gotten anything to eat yet and he was starving. He was also worried about Lily. She had been vomiting for the last few days, Winter Vomiting Bug, probably. She was never sick. She kept laughing at him for fussing over her. He had texted her countless times already. The reason he was still in such good form was the news that Sirius and Remus Lupin had finally, finally, gotten together and were going on their second date tomorrow evening after work.* He shipped them so hard. They were bloody perfect together.

"Oops, sorry, I tripped on that bag on the floor."

James looked up. A tall, blonde nurse pushed against him as she steadied herself. He didn't recall seeing her before, her large glasses looked well on her. She reminded him vaguely of someone he knew.

"No problem," he said, grinning at her.

He glanced at his open can of Pepsi, and blew his hair off his face. He needed the caffeine. The pepsi tasted a bit off, and he didn't quite finish it. He was presenting at Grand Rounds in a little while so he needed to fly through the admission.

The blonde nurse walked down the corridor, head bowed, avoiding any CCTV cameras. She ducked into the toilets, removing her spectacles. Minutes later, a dark haired woman in a bomber jacket, leather trousers and stilettos left the bathrooms, a small carrier bag by her side. Behind the sunglasses, her grey eyes flashed dangerously.

…

"Are you alright, Prongs?" Peter asked, looking concerned.

"I think so," he laughed unsteadily, stumbling as he tried to avoid falling over.

They were standing next to the podium; the auditorium was packed. He felt unusual. While he was admitting the last patient, he had gotten a sudden burst of energy, his mood almost euphoric, like all his emotions were intensified, followed by a deep sense of relaxation. He had found himself laughing hysterically at something the patient said. Now he was starting to feel disorientated, dizzy, and light-headed. And tired. His head was pounding, and he could feel his heart racing. Nauseated. Sweating profusely. His jaw was clenching involuntarily, and he was shaking. His vision blurred momentarily.

"Fucking hell," he muttered to himself, blinking rapidly.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

He looked up to see Peter staring at time with a frightened look in his eyes.

"Hi Wormy. Fine. Brilliant earlier on. Now, not so much," James said, shivering violently. "I think maybe I'm sick?"

"Yeah, maybe," said Peter, stuttering slightly. "Let me sit you down. There's a few minutes before you're due to start."

"Thanks mate," said James, slumping into the chair and holding his head.

"Er, could you sign this Kardex please? You forgot to do it on the ward earlier," said Peter.

His hand was shaking as he handed James the prescription charts, hidden inside a folder.

"What were you doing on the psych ward, Wormy?" asked James, rubbing his eyes.

"Er, medical consult. Just there," Peter pointed to the blank signature box. "And there, keep going, thanks James, great."

"I can't," James said after a while, his voice sounding unusual. "I can't read properly. It's all blurred."

"It's ok," Peter was looking around wildly, making sure nobody had spotted what he was doing. "I'll sort them out!"

He grabbed the sheets and hurried off.

"Wormy, where the hell are you going? Fuck!" said James, letting his head fall into his hands.

He felt his phone buzzing a few times in his pocket. Opening his eyes, he tried to focus on the texts.

Blocked Caller ID: James, the package is in your apartment, as usual

Blocked Caller ID: Sorry I couldn't get you any Dragon today, but the Charlie is good**

Blocked Caller ID: You still owe me five grand, I expect to have it by tomorrow night at the latest***

"What the fuck," he whispered to himself.

The next thing he knew, Minerva Mc Gonagall was shaking him gently.

"James, what is going on? You're not yourself. I think we need to cancel your presentation," she said, her stern face lined with worry.

He looked at her in confusion and nodded. His eyes closed.

"Mr. Potter, wake up, this is Garda Sergeant Conor Doyle, can you hear me?"

He looked up bleary eyed, disorientated. He felt like throwing up. He was still in the auditorium, but now three Guards were standing next to him, the whole room buzzing with tension and surprise.

"He's definitely out of it," the second Garda nodded. "Intoxicated. Doesn't smell of alcohol. Drugs, we can test him in the station."

"Gentlemen, Dr. Potter has been working here for months and I can testify he has never presented to work looking like this before. Ever!" Professor Mc Gonagall said firmly, glaring at Garda Conor Doyle.

"Mr. Potter, I'm afraid you're going to have to come with us to the Garda Station for questioning, can you walk?" the third Garda asked, ignoring the worried Professor, and looking at him with thinly disguised contempt.

"What?" said James, his face perplexed and pale.

"Aside from the fact you showed up to St. Godric's completely intoxicated and unfit to work, we need to question you about a suspicious package found at your apartment earlier this evening. An anonymous tip-off," the first Garda said.

"Package?" said James, swaying slightly in his chair.

Mc Gonagall gripped his arm to keep him stable.

"Yes Mr. Potter, it was addressed to you, and if I'm not highly mistaken, it was full of drugs. Initial testing was positive, at any rate, but it's been sent for full analysis. We suspect it contains cocaine, ecstasy, and home-made benzos**. Looks like it's worth around twenty thousand euro. You're in deep trouble, Mr. Potter. I'm going to need to take your phone off you. James Fleamont Potter, I'm arresting you under the Misuse of Drugs Act for the possession of controlled drugs with intent to supply."

James looked at them in bewilderment, his jaw twitching violently, his limbs shaking uncontrollably.

He swallowed thickly and stood up shakily, feeling the blood pounding in his ears.

"It's not mine," he said hoarsely. "I don't do drugs."

"Right," said the second Garda, not unkindly. "So today's drug use is a complete fluke, yeah?"

He felt the handcuffs click shut. He was dimly aware of shocked faces staring at him from the crowd, nurses and doctors he worked with, as he was led away through the building flanked by the three guards. They walked down the front steps of the hospital, Mc Gonagall following behind them, twisting her watch strap nervously.

"Are you alright, Potter?" he heard Snape's voice, his greasy head coming in and out of focus, fake concern in his voice.

"Good God, man, he's high as a kite," he heard Rosier tutting to himself, as he gave James a quick wink. "Oh dear, not good at all."

"It's a mistake," James said, his voice shook. "It's a mistake, I'm not a… I don't…"

Snape patted his shoulder.

"There, there, it's alright, Pettigrew admits he knew there was something fishy going on. You're better off pleading guilty."

"What?"

His head was spinning, and nothing made sense any more, like being in a horrible nightmare that he couldn't seem to wake up from.

"His career is fucked, that's for sure," Snape's drawl reaching his ears.

"He's going to serve time as well, definitely," Rosier replied. "I believe it's a mandatory ten-year sentence here for that type of offence?"

"I'll let Dr. Evans and Dr. Black know, James," Mc Gonagall said to him, her voice breaking.

Before he could reply, he felt strong hands grasp his shoulder and force him into the back of the white Garda van, and the door locked shut behind him.

* The first date between Sirius and Remus is in my one shot The New Boyfriend, if you must know...

** In Ireland: Charlie - street slang for Cocaine, Dragon - street slang for heroin, Benzos - benzodiazepines, minor tranquillizers such as lorazepam and diazepam (Ativan and Valium)

*** Grand - thousand euro (or pounds)

Notes:

It's nearly Halloween, there had to be some angst...!

PS sorry it's a bit massive, I promised drama and drama took time, and someone wouldn't let me shorten it (you know who you are!), I hope you still liked it ? (*hiding behind sofa*)