Every Mess That I Made

"Thank you all for agreeing to meet me," said Professor Mc Gonagall, looking at the doctors gathered in her office. "I know you're all as shocked as I am by what happened here on Friday."

She could read it in their faces. Sirius Black's eyes looked bloodshot and he was clearly agitated, his leg hopping, unable to keep still, his hand flicking his hair from his face every few seconds, almost as though he had developed a tic overnight. Remus Lupin, who appeared utterly exhausted, was looking at his boyfriend with concern and nodded to Mc Gonagall, even as he placed a hand reassuringly on Sirius' thigh. Immediately Sirius' leg stopped shaking and he gripped Remus' hand tightly in his own. She was most concerned about Lily Evans, who looked very pale and dehydrated. And sick.

She tutted to herself and picked up the phone.

"Hagrid," she said. "Would you be able to join me in my office, and could you to bring some tea and coffee? Wonderful, thank you."

"Clearly this is a set-up, do any of you have any ideas why anyone would want to frame Dr. Potter?" said Mc Gonagall.

"Snivellus hates his guts!" said Sirius, narrowing his eyes.

"Snape," explained Remus. "He definitely hates James. Although in fairness, he's hardly a criminal mastermind?"

"I wouldn't put anything past him, slimy git!" muttered Sirius angrily.

"Anyone else?"

"Ah, Hagrid, thanks so much, just what we needed!" she said, smiling as Hagrid opened the door gingerly and balanced a loaded tray haphazardly towards the Professor's desk.

"Got yous all a few treats, thought you might need a bit of feedin'," he said, looking at the group and smiling awkwardly at them.

"Please sit down, Hagrid," said Mc Gonagall kindly, as Hagrid attempted to concertina himself into a tight spot beside Lily.

"Hagrid, we were discussing Dr. Potter," she began.

"Framed!" Hagrid said darkly. "Some fucker framed him!"

"Very likely, Hagrid. I have an important job for you. I want you to review all the CCTV footage for the twenty-four hours before Dr. Potter was arrested, for the entire hospital, including the hidden camera outside. Watch out for anything that strikes you as out of the ordinary. It will take some time."

"Yes, Prof, absolutely!" said Hagrid looked extremely pleased. "I'd love to do something to help."

"Same!" said Sirius, getting up and shaking Hagrid's hand vigorously. "Thank you! Let me know if you find anything?"

"Let me know first, Hagrid," warned Mc Gonagall.

"Will do, Minerva, don't you fret!" said Hagrid, getting up and trying to avoid squashing Lily in the process.

"Sorry love," he said, patting her on the shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll get your fella sorted and back to you in no time!"

Lily looked up at him with tears in her eyes and nodded.

"There is one observation I wanted to share with you," said Minerva Mc Gonagall. "Dr. Snape and Dr. Rosier were outside the hospital that day, and shouldn't have known anything about Dr. Potter's arrest, yet they started telling him that there was a ten year minimum sentence for that crime? Someone could have texted them I suppose."

"Fucking knew it!" seethed Sirius, standing up impetuously and striding towards the door.

"Dr. Black, sit down this instance!" said Mc Gonagall sternly. "The last thing Dr. Potter needs is for you to end up in custody for assault! I plan to talk to them again. You are not to go near either of them, do I make myself clear?"

Sirius gritted his teeth and gave a curt nod. He was a bit scared of the formidable woman.

"Dr. Evans, would it be possible to have a quick word in private?" Mc Gonagall asked.

Lily's eyes widened, and she remained seated as both Remus and Sirius gave her arm a reassuring squeeze on the way out.

"Dr Evans," began Mc Gonagall, pulling her chair closer to Lily. "You haven't been looking well for a while, even before this awful incident."

Lily looked down.

"Lily," said Mc Gonagall. "I'm asking you in strictest confidence."

Her tone of voice was so unexpectedly kind. And she hadn't confided in anyone.

"It's okay… I'm fine… just, I'm pregnant," she said. "Pretty shit timing…"

Mc Gonagall sighed and took her hand.

"I mean, I hoped that perhaps James and I would eventually, you know, end up together. And now…"

"You haven't told him?" Mc Gonagall asked.

"No, I don't plan to," she said, bravely trying to keep it together. "It's just that, he and I are no longer… he said he didn't want me, and…"

Mc Gonagall shook her head in annoyance.

"Dr. Potter!" she said sternly. "I might have guessed. I think you need a hug, dear."

Lily threw her arms around Mc Gonagall. A hug was exactly what she needed.

"I'm sorry, I know this is a bit odd, but I haven't told anyone. My best friend moved to Scotland a few months ago and I haven't said it to her yet. I can't stand the thought of them all hating him… I don't hate him, despite what he said, I can't seem to hate him," she said.

"Of course you don't," said Mc Gonagall firmly, patting her shoulder in a motherly fashion. "He's just doing what he thinks is right. Like an idiot. What about your family?"

"My parents died in a car accident a few years ago," said Lily, smiling sadly. "My sister Petunia and I don't really get along, at all. She'd probably be delighted to hear my misfortunes."

"James is lucky to have you. Yes, he is, because he may be an idiot sometimes, but I know that man, and if isn't utterly and completely head over heels in love with you, I'll eat my hat! So don't give up on him just yet, alright?"

"Yeah, alright," said Lily quietly, looking conflicted.

She didn't know whether to dare let herself hope that James was lying, that he did love her as much as she loved him.

"Lily," said Mc Gonagall. "You need to look after yourself, do you hear me? No buts! I'll talk to Dr. Mc Carthy and remove you from the on-call rota for the moment. I won't give him a full explanation, don't worry."

Lily smiled sheepishly. She knew that Mc Gonagall was more than able for her stubbornness.

"One more thing, Lily, I nearly forgot," said Mc Gonagall. "When the Gardai were taking Dr. Potter away, Dr Snape mentioned something about Dr. Pettigrew knowing that there was something unusual going on. I believe he used to be in your class in college?"

Lily nodded, looking perplexed.

"What did he mean?" she said. "They're great friends! Why would he say that? Peter's been really worried!"

"I have no idea, Lily," said Mc Gonagall. "But I don't like it. Could you try talking to him? I didn't want to tell Dr. Black because he's a very good friend of Pettigrew's and I fear he would lose the plot if I mentioned this."

"Leave it to me," said Lily, looking back at her with a resolute air. "I'll get to the bottom of it!"

"I believe you!" replied Mc Gonagall, feeling hopeful for the first time since Potter's arrest.

…..

"Peter, could I have a word, please?" said Lily, smiling sweetly.

Peter yelped and nearly dropped the chart he was holding.

"Christ! You gave me a fright, Lily!" he said, laughing weakly.

"Lovely to see you, Peter!" she said warmly.

"Er, yeah, lovely to see you too," he looked nervously around.

"How are you?" said Lily.

"Fine, great, thanks!" said Peter, shifting from one foot to another. "I mean, well, obviously, not great… I mean, no, terrible. Awful, what happened to James, and all that!"

"Yes, how could you forget?" hummed Lily, still smiling, manoeuvring the shorter man to stand in front of a small room. "Although, I think you felt that poor James had been acting rather oddly? You weren't too surprised, were you?"

"Who told you that?" said Peter, whose voice had jumped up an octave.

"You did," said Lily.

He noticed that her eyes were cool and hard, despite the smile.

"Did I? Yes, well," he began, nervously rubbing his hands together. "I felt he had been behaving rather strangely, you know. Seemed a bit spaced at times. You know, voice a bit slurred, eyes a bit-"

"Cut the bullshit, Pettigrew!" said Lily. "Tell me exactly who is behind this and why. Start talking."

Her voice was like ice. She looked genuinely intimidating.

"Er, well, actually, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have a ward round starting in ten-"

"Oh no you don't!" snapped Lily, opening the door of the walk-in linen cupboard and shoving Pettigrew inside. "Tell me exactly what happened. Or I'm not letting you out!"

She locked the door and heard him cursing inside.

"No point trying to call anyone on your mobile, Pettigrew," she said coldly. "No reception in there. I checked. Also, no light switch. No water. And no food. I suggest you start talking."

"Lily, please!" squeaked Pettigrew, who had an inordinate fear of being stuck in confined spaces. "I can't think in here!"

"That's the whole point, Pettigrew," said Lily, rolling her eyes at the door in front of her. "I knew you suffered from claustrophobia. Why do you think I've been following you around all afternoon until we were standing directly in front of this place?"

Pettigrew trembled.

"You little bitch!" he whimpered angrily.

"I heard that!" Lily said casually. "Not helping yourself much, Pettigrew. Start talking. How did you get roped into this mess?"

Pettigrew swallowed.

"You won't be in as much trouble as they are, Peter," said Lily, in a kinder voice. "You were forced to play along, am I right?"

"None of this was my idea!" said Pettigrew in a shrill voice. "I had no choice, Lily! I made a mistake. A big mistake, and… fuck, I'm not telling you anything else! Let me out!"

"Please! Peter, you've got to!" said Lily, placing her palms on the door. "We'll say you didn't have a choice, that you were threatened?"

"Peter, James is going to go to prison for at least ten years if we don't find out what really happened!" said Lily desperately.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" she heard him mutter to himself, breathing heavily. "Alright. Fuck … I gave someone the wrong intravenous antibiotic. It was the first dose. I was tired, towards the end of my on-call shift, and I picked up the wrong phial. The patient was allergic to penicillin. He went into cardiac arrest and died. Snape saw me. Nobody else noticed. Snape told me that he wouldn't tell anyone, that my secret was safe with him, but that I owed him."

"Snape?" said Lily.

"Yes, Snape," said Pettigrew. "He and I had become quite friendly, prior to James and Sirius coming here. We have similar political views."

"Pricks!" muttered Lily in disgust.

"What?" said Pettigrew, who was sounding more distraught by the second. "I can't hear you!"

"Continue!" she said sharply.

"It was a mistake, I didn't mean to kill anyone. I could have gotten into serious trouble with the Medical Council. I had no choice! I agreed to do as Snape suggested. That was a few weeks ago. Then early last Friday, Snape phoned me and asked me to meet him before work. He told me, er, he said James was a drug dealer, and that I had to get him to sign some Kardex forms to make doubly sure he got put away. He handed them to me, they just needed a signature. I got James to sign them no problem," Pettigrew's teeth were chattering with fear.

"And you believed that bastard, did you?" said Lily, who was livid. "You really believed James was selling drugs?"

"No," he whispered, breathing quickly. "Not really. But I mean if I didn't do as Snape asked, I'd have been-"

"Ah, Dr. Evans, what are you doing here?" asked Dr. Mc Carthy pleasantly, walking past at that moment.

"Oh, I just found a disgusting rat and managed to lock it in this room," Lily said airily. "I'm just waiting for the vermin control fellows to show up."

"Ugh, gross!" said Dr Mc Carthy, looking uncomfortable. "Well, I'll be off so, good luck!"

She waited until he had passed through the double doors.

"I don't care what you thought!" Lily hissed back. "You were willing to let a completely innocent man go to prison, one of your best friends? How could you!"

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry! Can you please open the door?" said Peter, who was hyperventilating loudly by then. "I need to get out!"

"On one condition," said Lily. "I've been recording this entire conversation on my phone. When I let you out, we are going to drive down to the local Garda Station and you are going to give them a statement outlining exactly what you told me. Do you understand? If you try anything funny, I'm dialling 999."

"Okay, okay, just let me out!" said Pettigrew, panting heavily. "I'm having a panic attack!"

"I'm terribly sorry, you must me confusing me for someone who gives a shit," said Lily, opening the door and glaring at Pettigrew.

Pettigrew stumbled out, and bent forwards with his hands on his knees, trying to steady his breathing, as Lily watched impassively.

"Come on, let's go!" she said, pointing to the door.

Reluctantly Pettigrew followed her, growing more and more visibly agitated.

"Snape will kill me!" he wailed at Lily, as they walked down the corridor. "He said he knows people, dangerous people, who can dispose of me if I utter a word of this to-"

"Yes, Pettigrew, it doesn't take a genius to work out that Snape is somehow involved with the criminals who planted the gun and the drugs in James' flat!" said Lily, striding forwards and looking grim. "He can explain it all to the Gardai!"

…

"Found anything yet, Hagrid?" said Sirius, pooping his head into the small security room. "Thought you finished early today?"

"Working on the CCTV stuff for Minnie. Funny you should say that, Sirius," said Hagrid, motioning for Sirius to sit down beside him. "Take a look, this is a bit odd. See this posh lady here, yeah? This is from the hidden camera outside in the carpark. You couldn't miss her, look at the legs on her and everything, right? Anyway, she keeps her head down once she nears the hospital, in she goes, through reception and down this corridor and then poof! Disappears. Only shows up again ages later, coming out of the same loo. Bit weird, what?"

"Well fuck!" said Sirius grimly, staring in horror at the grey-eyed woman on the CCTV image.

"Do yous know each other?" said Hagrid, scratching his neck.

"You could say that," said Sirius, his heart pounding. "Thanks Hagrid, I just need to make a quick call. I'll be back, and we can go and tell Mc Gonagall."

"Feckin' brilliant!" said Hagrid grinning back. "Do you think your woman* has something to do with Dr Potter being set up?"

"Damn right she does!" said Sirius darkly.

"Ah Jasus!" said Hagrid, rubbing his brow. "She looks too classy to be involved in that sort of shenanigans."

"She's not," said Sirius, shuddering.

Standing outside the hospital, his mind in a maelstrom, he scrolled through the contacts list on his mobile phone.

"Fucking Bellatrix," he shivered, heart beating erratically. "What the fuck is she at? I knew she was an evil bitch, torturing cats as a child and supporting those English Nazis, but… fucking hell!"

His phone rang and he practically dropped it in fright.

"Dr. Black, Irma Pince here. I've just looked over the times of the texts sent from the burner phone. They seem to have been sent at unusual hours – early mowning, middle of the night. I compared them to Dr. Potter's on-call wota and they don't match up at all. I've just sent them on to you, could you take a look and show him? I can't seem to get hold of Dr. Potter."

"Sure, thanks Irma," said Sirius, hanging up and distractedly opening the attachment and scanning the data.

"Morning, afternoon, late evening, night, night, night… Fuck!" whispered Sirius, his mind racing. "This corresponds to my shifts in the ED!"

He paced furiously, staring down at the phone, before dialling.

"Well, well," an aristocratic voice cackled on the line. "If it isn't my long-lost cousin, the disgraced heir who ruined his parents' life. And mine. What can I do for you, Darling?"

"It's you, isn't it?" said Sirius coldly. "You're behind James Potter's arrest. You planted the drugs and ammunition in his flat. You meant to frame me though, at least initially. What happened?"

"Change of plan. Took you rather long to figure it out, Darling," she jeered. "I always knew you weren't as bright as Papa made out!"

"What do you want, cousin?" said Sirius, trying his best not to sound disgusted.

"Let me see, what could I possibly want?" Bellatrix said, her bitter laughter sounding slightly unhinged. "Oh, I don't know. How about you turn back time and stop your pathetic baby brother from ruining our family's fortunes? From ruining the career of a brilliant genius like Tom Riddle?"

"Hang the fuck on, Darling," said Sirius, in a derisory tone. "Tom Riddle was nothing but a quack, he made a deadly drug and then tried to cover it up!"

"He is a genius! How dare you insult him!" screamed Bellatrix.

"He's a fucking murderer! HE SENT HIS HENCHMEN AFTER REG AND HAD HIM MURDERED!" Sirius bellowed into his phone.

"Ha! Served him right, that's what traitors deserve!" Bellatrix's voice sounded livid.

"What do you want, bitch?" spat Sirius.

"I want you, cousin. I'm offering you a deal. Meet me and I call off the operation against James Potter."

"Why would I agree to do that?" Sirius' dug his nails into his palms to stop his voice shaking.

"Because you love him, like a brother," Bellatrix sounded triumphant. "And if he goes to jail, I have acquaintances that will make sure he gets knifed and killed within weeks of entering Mountjoy Prison. And you wouldn't want to be responsible for the deaths of both your brothers, now would you?"

Sirius didn't speak.

"What you need to understand is that Riddle was making a lot of money in Slytherin Pharmaceuticals, from the production of illegal drugs – meths, ketamine, you name it. It was a wonderful cover. He wasn't just a scientist, he was a drug lord. Became, is, one of the richest men in Europe. He has gang members all over Europe and Russia. He planned on selling the company but keeping his factory and laboratory, feigning an interest in developing new drugs. You ruined his plans. He had to go into hiding. Nobody has seen him since, aside from his closest allies. But his gang members are very loyal. They will hunt you down, you and your friends, your lover, wherever you go, if you try to double cross us."

The line crackled.

"Are you still there, worthless cousin?" came the singsong call. "This deal is not going to be on the table for long. Take it or leave it. It's entirely up to you. But I need an answer. Immediately."

"How do I know you'll drop the operation against James?" Sirius said quietly.

"You don't," Bellatrix laughed. "But this was never about him. It was always about you, finishing you off, just like your brother."

There was silence on the line.

"Where do I meet you?" Sirius said, matter-of-factly, after a long pause.

"Tonight, eleven o'clock, back of St. Godric's hospital, behind the kitchens, near the Pathology labs," came the delighted reply. "We'll disable the security cameras. And don't tell the police, Darling, we have our sources in the Gardai. I'll be monitoring your arrival, I won't be alone, if we see any signs that the Pigs have become involved, your handsome brother dies. Have I made myself clear?"

"Fairly clear," came the dismissive reply.

"Well don't mess it up, Darling," said Bellatrix, sounding annoyed at Sirius' composure.

"Speaking of messing things up rather spectacularly," Sirius interrupted her. "Will Riddle be there?"

Bellatrix paused.

"If he isn't otherwise engaged."

She sounded angry.

"Oh spiffing, I was rather hoping to give him a piece of my mind," said Sirius casually. "Tell him I'm… dying… to meet him."

"You don't seem to be taking this as seriously as you should," she hissed.

Sirius burst out laughing.

"Oh coz! I'm always Sirius! Toodle pip!" he sounded almost condescending as he hung up on her.

He looked at his phone. It was nearly seven o'clock. Four hours.

Four hours.

…..

"Where's James?" Sirius asked briskly, as he walked into Remus' flat, placing a long black umbrella beside the door. "He's not in our place."

"No idea, sorry," said Remus, coming up behind him and resting his chin on Sirius' shoulder, wrapping his long arms around him. "You worried about him? He's taken to going for a run at this time, in the dark, so he won't be recognised."

Sirius cursed inwardly.

"I know, it's one of the only things that help him. That's fine, I'll call over later," said Sirius, closing his eyes and relishing the closeness.

"Have you heard from Lily? She was due home a while ago, I tried texting and calling her but no answer," said Remus. "I hope she's alright, she looked wrecked today."

"She's not alright, not fine at all," said Sirius. "But she will be, and she deserves to be. She'll be fine. They both will be."

Remus regarded Sirius quizzically.

"Someone's very upbeat tonight," he said. "What happened?"

"Oh you know, this and that," Sirius said, leaning into Remus. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"Sirius, where is this going?" said Remus, raising an eyebrow sceptically.

"Fill my life with gladness, take away my sadness, ease my troubles that's what you do," Sirius sang.

"God, you're so off key!" laughed Remus, kissing Sirius' neck playfully. "What have I done to deserve this Golden Oldie?"

He was surprised but relieved to see Sirius looking less stressed than he had been since the arrest.

"Nothing, you've done nothing except just be you," he said, turning around. "I love you, Remus Lupin. Rather a lot."

"The feeling is more than mutual," said Remus in a low voice, holding the back of Sirius' neck and kissing him softly.

"I want you to know how much I love you," Sirius said smiling at him, as he deepened the kiss. "I want tonight to be special."

"Every night with you is special," said Remus, kissing him back fervently. "That's as soppy as I get."

"That'll do, Remus," Sirius said, taking Remus by the hand and dragging him towards the bedroom.

….

"Smoking again?" said Remus, coming out onto the small balcony and breathing in the cold night air.

"One last time," said Sirius, with a short laugh, turning and glancing at Remus.

"Are you alright? You seem… I don't know… sad," said Remus, looking at Sirius' profile and frowning.

"I am, a little, I suppose," Sirius said, looking straight ahead.

"Is there anything I can do?" asked Remus, stroking Sirius' hair.

He hated seeing Sirius so upset about James.

"There is," Sirius said, putting out the cigarette and turning to look at Remus. "Promise me you'll always allow yourself to… that you won't let Fenrir stop you from giving relationships a go?"

"What are you.. I'm here, Sirius, am I not? I don't get what…?" Remus looked at him in confusion.

"Promise me," Sirius said.

"Alright," said Remus, shaking his head, baffled. "I promise."

"I love you, Remus Lupin," said Sirius. "I can't kiss you right now, or I'll never leave."

"Where are you going?" said Remus, feeling suddenly cold.

"Just calling in on James," said Sirius.

He moved rather abruptly, as though in a hurry to leave.

"Sirius, what is going…"

The door closed swiftly behind him. Seconds later, he watched as Sirius' motorbike roared into life and he pulled away at breakneck speed.

"What the hell is going on?" said Remus, staring as the leather clad figure disappeared from sight, the black umbrella now strapped to his back.

...

Your woman – Irish mannerism, meaning that woman

Notes:

Any comments very welcome! I've been so happy with the positive feedback from this fic so far (on Tumblr and ao3 especially) - thanks so much, I really appreciate it a lot! Probably only one chapter left...