Hello again.
This chapter is shorter than the other ones since I've been pretty busy this week. But I hope you enjoy it anyway, and I'm gonna try to make the other one extra long to make up for it.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story!
Magnus stood in the doorframe and looked at Alec, unsure about what to do next. The banquet had ended half an hour ago, and Clary had advised him to follow Alec so he could start his new position. As soon as the king had announced Magnus's new work he had rushed over to Clary to get some useful tips and tricks as well as some more help. It had been interesting and he was sure that it would make his life easier but for the moment- He didn't know what to do.
"You can come in, you know," Alec said shyly. "It's not dangerous in here," he said it like a joke, but to Magnus it didn't feel like it. Inside that room, inside the future king's royal chambers, was the most sinful man Magnus had ever seen, and going in there, being around Alec, it was going to be dangerous for Magnus, for his heart.
"Uh, yeah… I know," Magnus mumbled. He stepped through the door, into the room. He was inside the prince's room. This was the last situation Magnus had imagined himself in when his mother had told him about Idris. "You know…" Magnus started. He hesitated with the continuation, but he really needed to get it out. "I come from a small village, a hundred people live there at most, and I never imagined myself in any kind of situation like this, around royalty. I have no idea how to act, what to do. Just, please don't be mad if I do something wrong, and tell me what to do," Magnus said. Then added, "And what to call you, cause I have really no idea,"
Alec chuckled. "Whatever you do, don't call me sire. Or your highness. Alec is fine." He said. "And about the rest… I'll tell you what to do, and if I don't tell you anything just do nothing. Or ask me."
"Okay, I think I can manage that,"Magnus said and Alec smiled at him, he knew he should like as much as he did but he couldn't help himself and smiled back.
"So… what happens now?" he asked.
"Now I was planning on going to sleep. You don't really need to be around while I do that, so I think you're dismissed," Alec answered.
"There's really nothing I can do?" Magnus asked, just to make sure. Clary had told him she helped Isabelle get dressed, both for the day and for bed. And even though Magnus would much rather undress than dress Alec, he really wasn't going to complain.
"Yes, Magnus. I'm sure. I tend to get ready for bed by myself since I've been able to do that on my own. So you can go home and get some sleep."
"Okay. What time do I have to show up tomorrow?"
"I usually start training at eight, but you don't have to be there for that…"
"What exactly are my tasks going to be?"
"I don't know! I've never had a servant before, I've never wanted one."
"So why am I here?"
"Because my father is getting impatient, and he's starting to make my decisions for me. Soon enough he's gonna chose a wife for me too." Alec sighed. "But anyway, I need to sleep, and so do you. You're dismissed,"
"Okay," Magnus said this time. No point in fighting it if Alec didn't want him there. Alec didn't want him there at all, he'd said so himself. "See you tomorrow at eight," he said and turned around to leave the room. "Out at the field or here?" he asked.
"Ohh, um. Here. At eight."
"Okay. See you and good night,"
"You too," he heard Alec say as he closed the door. Magnus had expected Alec to want him near, maybe not the way Magnus wanted, but as a friend or a servant at least. But no, Alec didn't want him there at all. Magnus was just in that position because the king had decided that for him.
So Magnus went home, he'd started considering Luke's house that. He ignored Luke's call for him when he stormed into his room. By the angel, he was acting like an angsty teenager. He didn't even know Alec, this thing he was feeling wasn't heartbreak. It was just bottled up emotions finally getting out.
"Magnus?" Luke asked as he opened the door and looked inside. "Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it? Maybe I could help" he said and stepped inside.
"No, it's nothing," Magnus said. "Just some stupid feelings,"
"Magnus, there is no such thing as stupid feelings. Everything you feel, everything you think about, is valid. Whatever it is you're feeling, it's okay. And sometimes it helps to let it out," Luke said and sat down next to Magnus on the bed.
"I guess you're right," Magnus said. Luke usually was. But Magnus wasn't ready to come out, or tell Luke about what he felt for Alec. "It's just… it wasn't what I expected," he said instead.
"I'm sure you'll get used to it, and it'll get better. Are you sure there's nothing else bothering you?" Luke asked after a moment of hesitation.
"Yeah, I'm just… tired."
"Go to sleep then, you have a long day ahead of you tomorrow," Luke said, although there was still some doubt in his face. Magnus just nodded and watched him leave the room before he turned around and lay down to sleep.
Alec had imagined something like this happening so many times, but now that it did it felt like a nightmare. Because in Alec's dreams Magnus was there because he wanted to, because he liked being around Alec. But not in this reality, no. He was just there because Alec's father had decided so. What should have been Alec's decision, what Alec should have decided years ago.
But Magnus hadn't been around all those years ago. Alec hadn't wanted anyone at that time. But now he did, he wanted Magnus so desperately. But seeing Magnus stand there, waiting for Alec's orders, Alec didn't want it. Not like that! He wanted Magnus to spend time with him because he wanted to. He wanted Magnus to want him. But now he was going to have to spend pretty much all his time with him, so he would have to prepare himself, his heart, cause he could already feel it was on its way to get broken.
His thoughts flowed through his mind as he got ready for bed. He thought that Magnus could be doing this, Magnus could still have been there. If Alec hadn't sent him away. He'd looked hurt, when Alec told him to leave. And he'd insisted on coming at eight, even when Alec told him it wouldn't be necessary. Maybe he actually wanted to be around Alec… Or maybe he's just trying to do his job right. Alec didn't know what to think. He didn't want to think at all. He just wanted to sleep, to forget about all his troubles, maybe have a happy dream where his life was perfect. He knew he wouldn't be able to though, he knew he probably wouldn't sleep at all.
Alec laid down on his bed. It was so big, king sized. Alec had dreamed of having someone there with him, someone to wrap his arms around, someone to kiss. In some fantasies it had been Jace, in other's he'd force himself to imagine it was a girl, but now it was Magnus. Magnus was who Alec wanted there, that Alec lusted after. Magnus who would never want Alec the same way Alec wanted him.
Alec wanted to punch something, shoot his arrows till his fingers bled. He'd had nights like this before, nights where he sneaked out of his room to take endless walks in the forest, just anything to get his mind off whatever was bothering him. When all he could feel was a bag under his knuckles, or the string from his bow, or the coldness of the wood that sent shivers down his spine. And only then could he forget what was on his mind, what was eating him up from the inside.
He tried to sleep. He knew he needed it. But seconds passed, and then minutes, and almost an hour and Alec was still awake so he got out of the bed. No point in being there if he wasn't going to sleep. The bed felt too big, too cold. Alec wanted someone there with him to fill it, to warm it. But that wasn't happening any time soon. And when it did it wouldn't be what Alec wanted, it would be some random girl Alec didn't know. Some girl Alec didn't want.
He opened a window and felt the cold night air hit his face. It was dark outside, only a few lights here and there. This was Alec's kingdom. He was going to rule this city, these people. How could he be the leader of an entire kingdom? Alec couldn't even control himself! Everyone expected so much of him, he felt the weight of it on his shoulders all the time, the burdens pulling him under, drowning him.
Was love too much to ask for? The one thing Alec wanted, to love and be loved. And he would never get it. Sure, he loved Izzy and Jace, but that wasn't the kind of love he was craving, that wasn't the way he wanted to love Magnus.
But there was no point in thinking about it. He didn't love Magnus, he liked him, wanted him, but he didn't love him. So he was going to pull through this, he was going to befriend Magnus, and be his friend. Like Clary was Izzy's friend, that was the kind of relationship Alec was going to have with Magnus. It wasn't what he wanted, but it could come to be what he wanted. Like with Jace, he didn't want him anymore. Jace was nothing but a friend, a brother.
Alec looked down at the square under him, it was empty. He left the window to get dressed. Simple clothes, so no one would think about it if they saw him. Not particularly warm clothes either, the cold was a good distraction. It left Alec numb.
Alec checked that there was no one on the square again, just to be sure. And then he started his way down. He was on the third floor, but he had learned the way by heart, knew every stone and every windowsill. He could climb up and down this wall blindfolded.
Alec wasn't sure where he was going, but he needed to get away. Away from the castle, from his responsibilities. He let his feet lead him. The guards by the gate paid no attention to the hooded man leaving. Alec spaced out while he walked, thoughts and memories flew in and out of his head, none of them staying long enough to be made sense of.
He ended up in a clearing. He'd been there lots of times before, it was like his own secret place. It was deep in the woods, a small clearing with a lake. Sometimes, when Alec needed to get away in the middle of the day he would ride here, swim in the water, and it would always calm him. There was a place in the middle of the clearing where Alec made a fire. He would sit there, endless days and nights, and he would talk. Not to anyone, just to whatever was listening. The trees, the birds, the wind, or the flames. And it would help him, to get all his thoughts out, to confess everything, it would take some of the weight off him. It was better than the alternative, which was training himself to exhaustion.
So that's what Alec did now. He made a small fire, just to give a little light and warmth. And then he sat down and told the flames about everything that was bothering him. His father promising to find him a wife before the year was over, the tournament coming up in a few weeks, his father getting higher and higher expectations. Magnus.
He said everything he'd been bottling up, everything he had to hide from everyone, everything he so desperately wanted to change. He got it all out, and when he was done he felt like he could finally breathe again. He laid back in the grass and closed his eyes, and despite the chilly air and the hard ground, he fell asleep.
"Magnus." Magnus turned around in his bed. "Magnus. " He pressed a pillow over his ears. "Magnus!" The deep voice tore him out of his sleep. Magnus looked sleepily around the room. There was no one there. He closed his eyes again, and just when he was about to fall asleep again it came. "MAGNUS!" Like a scream. Didn't anyone else hear that? It was so loud, like it was inside Magnus' head.
"Where are you?" Magnus whispered.
"Magnus," was his only answer. The voice didn't have any source, it was just there.
"This is a dream," Magnus told himself. He closed his eyes.
The voice didn't disturb him again.
"Magnus!" Magnus was shaken out of his sleep by Luke. "Magnus, wake up," Magnus groaned.
"What time is it?" He asked.
"Half past seven." Suddenly Magnus wasn't sleepy anymore.
"Half past seven?! I need to be in the castle in half an hour!" Magnus exclaimed, already getting out of bed.
"I've made breakfast for you," Luke said as he left the room. Magnus got dressed in a hurry. He wasn't actually in that much of a hurry, he only needed ten minutes to get ready and the castle was barely more than five minutes away. But he didn't want to be late on his first day, he didn't want to be anything even close to late. He wanted to be early, in good time. And he wanted to see Alec.
He stormed down to the living room, where Luke had placed some bread on the table.
"Hey, Magnus. Calm down, you have time," Luke said when he started eating in a hurry.
"Yeah, I know. But I want to be sure I do everything right, I want to be there early," Magnus said through bites.
"Okay, but eat slowly. It's not good for you to eat so quickly." Magnus slowed down his tempo a little bit, but not much. Luke sat down on the other side of the table and looked carefully at Magnus.
"What?" Magnus asked. Did he have anything on his face?
"Do you want to talk about anything from yesterday?" Magnus knew what Luke was referring to, but Magnus actually had something else to ask. Something that had been bothering him ever since the banquet.
"I do, actually," Magnus said. "I… at the banquet, I was wondering… why was everyone affected but me? I mean, everyone, everyone, was asleep, except me. Why?" Luke got that look again, the look he got when he was debating whether or not to tell Magnus something. The same look he'd gotten when Magnus asked about the dragons…
"I don't know," Luke said. Magnus didn't believe him. "But Robert let me inspect the thing that did it. Turns out it was never a woman, it was an Eidolon demon."
"A what?"
"An Eidolon demon, a shapeshifter." Those actually exist?! Magnus had only heard legends, stories. His mother had told him about them, about demons, about Lilith, the mother of all demons, and Asmodeus, one of the princes of hell.
"Why would an Eidolon demon want to kill Alec?" Magnus asked.
"It was probably obeying orders. That's what those demons do best."
"So whatever sent it will send more?"
"I don't know. Probably." Luke got up from the chair he was sitting in and went to search the bookshelves for something. Magnus assumed their conversation was over, so he finished eating. He left a few minutes later, after cleaning up after himself and saying goodbye to Luke.
He still got to the castle five minutes early and made his way to Alec's chambers quickly. He knocked on the door and heard a rustling sound. Seconds later the door was opened to reveal Alec. He was already fully dressed, but his hair looked disheveled and was that a leaf?
"Magnus, hi. Umm, yeah, right. Come in," Alec said. He looked hesitant of letting Magnus in, but he stepped aside. "I'll be ready to leave in a second," Alec said as he moved to the closet.
Magnus looked around the room. He'd been there the day before, but he hadn't actually looked at anything. But as he stood there awkwardly by the door he spotted what looked like an old cloak half hidden under the bed. He looked at the window, it was open, and there was dirt around it. And the leaf in Alec's hair…
"Have you been out?" The question escaped Magnus before he could stop it. Dammit, he scolded himself. He couldn't just ask him that, he was the future king! Alec seemed to have frozen in the middle of a movement.
"N- no," He said, his trembling voice did nothing to lessen Magnus' suspicions.
"Yes, you have! Where were you?" By the angel, stop it! What had gotten into him? He couldn't do this, this could be considered treason!
"I haven't been anywhere. And if I had it would be none of your business," Alec said. He looked tense, and Magnus didn't believe him. But he wasn't going to insist, he shouldn't have said anything at all.
"You're right. Sorry, your highn- Alec," Magnus caught himself. Alec had very specifically said to not call him your highness.
"It's fine." Alec had found whatever it was he was looking for, and was now looking at Magnus. "You ready?" He asked. Magnus nodded.
"Wait," He said when Alec headed for the door. He went up to Alec and tugged at his collar. Alec looked confused and scared, and there was something Magnus could only identify as hope in his eyes as he let Magnus pull him down.
Magnus picked the leaf out of his hair and combed his fingers through it a few times to make it look more presentable. Then he went to the window and threw the leaf out. He scooped up the dirt from the floor and threw that out too before closing the window.
"You really should cover your tracks up a little more if you don't want anyone finding out. But don't worry, wherever you're going, your secret is safe with me," Magnus said. He went to pick up the cloak and fold it before he put it away in the closet. Alec was looking at him in disbelief and...disappointment? No, Magnus was reading him wrong, just like with the hope earlier.
"Oh… I… Thank you, you really didn't have to…" Alec said, signaling at the window and the closet.
"Alec, I'm your servant. I know you've never had one before, and you don't want one, but now I am yours, so I guess it's best for us both to get used to it."
"Who says I don't want one?" Alec asked shocked.
"Uhm, you did. Yesterday, when I asked you exactly what my purpose was. You said you didn't know and that you didn't actually want a servant."
"I didn't mean it like that!" Alec said quickly, as if to assure Magnus. It was too late for that, Magnus was already convinced he didn't want him there, and that whatever he said now was just to make Magnus feel better. "I was tired yesterday, not thinking clearly. I snapped, and I took it out on the people around me, you," Alec really did look sorry though. "I… you saved my life, and as a reward, you get to work for me. I don't really understand how my father thinks. It's not that I don't want you here, I do. I Just… I think you deserve so much more than being a servant.
Now it was Magnus' turn to look at Alec in disbelief. He didn't see a single hint of lie on his face. "Sorry if I gave the wrong impression," Alec ended. He was looking down at his shoes now, too shy to look Magnus in the eye. For some reason, Magnus found it adorable.
"Anyway, we should probably, uh, you know. Go," Alec stuttered, pointing at the door.
"Right," Magnus said with a smile. "We should."
Alec showed Magnus how to hold and use a sword. He told Magnus it was necessary for him to know if he was going to be of any use while Alec trained. They spent almost an hour just to learn the basics, and Magnus was already exhausted. Then Alec pulled out a flail, and Magnus felt like he was going to die.
"You have a history with these, don't you?" Alec said with a teasing smile.
"Please don't remind me," Magnus groaned. He looked over to where Jace was training. This time Simon was benched, Jace was training with some knight.
"Don't worry, I've told him not to make a scene," Alec said when he followed Magnus' eyes.
"For some reason, I have a feeling he doesn't listen to you," Magnus mumbled. Alec chuckled.
"He usually doesn't, but I hope he does this time." Alec started to show Magnus techniques in how to keep the flail under control, how to attack and block with it. Magnus might have enjoyed it if it didn't feel like his arm was going to fall off from exhaustion.
"How long do you usually do this?" Magnus asked when Alec gave him a minute to rest.
"Till midday, normally. And then I come back in the evening to do some archery," Alec said before giving Magnus a once-over. "But we can stop now if you want," he added.
"No, no. It's fine, just give me a minute." Alec nodded and sat down too. Magnus had a feeling his arms wouldn't be functional for the next few days.
Alec was sitting in a chair in his room. Magnus was leaning against the table.
"Tell me again why this is so important?" Magnus said. He was looking down at the sword and the stone on the table.
"You told me you wanted to learn how to do everything servants are supposed to do. This is one of them." Alec said.
"Yeah, I understand that, but this sword is already so sharp!"
"No, it's not. It just looks sharp." Magnus sighed and got to work again. It had seemed so easy when Alec had shown him, but it wasn't easy at all. The sword was heavy, just like the ones they had practiced with earlier. Magnus groaned just at the thought. They had spent four hours practicing, first with swords, then the flails, and then later with staffs. Alec had been patient while he thought Magnus the basics, and he'd gone slow. At least he said he had, it didn't feel like it. Magnus felt like someone had beaten the crap out of him when they were done, but he insisted on not going home even when Alec told him he could. He wanted to do everything perfectly on his first day, he wanted to learn everything, and he wanted to spend more time with Alec.
Magnus collapsed into his bed. He was exhausted, sore, and hungry. But he didn't have any energy left to eat. He'd looked like a zombie when he got home, he hadn't even said anything to Luke, who had probably tried to talk to him. But Magnus hadn't heard him, he could only hear his own blood pumping in his ears.
"Magnus," He heard him now though, and he felt an insistent hand shaking his shoulder. Magnus groaned and forced his eyes open. "You ok?" Luke asked.
"Mhm," Magnus mumbled. "Tired," he managed to get out.
"Well you need to eat," Luke said. "Come on, no arguing," he insisted. He pretty much dragged Magnus out of bed, pulled Magnus with him to the living room and sat him down in a chair. A bowl of something was placed in front of him, and without even looking at it, Magnus ate it. He could barely keep his eyes open, he felt like he could fall asleep right there.
When he was done Luke followed him back to the bed. He fell asleep moments later.
Alec was standing by the window again. Night had fallen, and the city was dark. He'd spent pretty much all day with Magnus, who had insisted on staying time after time. Alec had sent him away when he was about to get ready for bed. He didn't think he was ready to have Magnus dress him. Not yet.
Magnus had been excellent. Despite never having even held a weapon before, other than that fight with Jace, he learned quickly and got the hang of it almost immediately. He had relaxed more and more throughout the day, been less and less formal until he was treating Alec almost like a friend.
Alec had had a good day. He'd spent close to no time wondering how the hell he could ever manage to rule a kingdom, and more time just enjoying himself. Magnus had kept him distracted and busy. Alec hadn't worked out to be better, or to stop thinking, he did it to teach Magnus, and then because it was fun. Because of Magnus' smile when he managed to block an attack or to get a blow at Alec. Magnus's small comments and jokes that somehow made Alec laugh every time. Magnus' excitement to learn and explore. Everything had been fun because Magnus made it fun. How can I be so smitten after such a short time? Alec wondered. Fate, a small voice in his head said but he didn't want to think too much about that, especially since this couldn't be fate. Not with another man, the universe couldn't be so cruel to him, to want him to be with Magnus when it was impossible as the future king. But for the night he could allow himself to dream about Magnus and the great day they've had.
Once Alec was ready for bed he laid down and quickly fell asleep, with a smile on his lips.
One more chapter done!
Thank you very much for reading, and leave a fav or a review if you want to.
As usual, you can contat me on tumblr or send me a mail at catmribxwriter
I hope you enjoyed the story, next chapter should be out in a week, but as usual, no promises.