I don't own Miraculous Ladybug

Patrols were a thing for Ladybug. It had taken months for Chat Noir to find this out, and when he did, he insisted on joining them. Far be it from him to leave the duties of being a hero to his beautiful partner. And he wasn't going to give up on spending time with his Lady. So he soon joined her on her nightly excursions.

Patrols, if you had asked Marinette, were a sort of Physical Therapy. Although Physical therapy hadn't really worked that well for Mari. She didn't feel like she was making much progress, and her physical therapy appointments every week were a cause for dread. Not only was it hard, and excruciatingly painful at times, but she also had to deal with her physical therapist's false cheer, false promises. It was easy to cheer others on, when you're not the one in the chair. Marinette didn't want to 'celebrate' being able to move her pinky toe again, or the fact that she could flex her foot. That had nothing to do with running again.

Her physical therapist kept telling her that she could do it. That she could walk again. But her legs had been crushed, shattered, almost beyond repair. And they were weak, and so painful. Even though everyone was telling her she was making good progress, she was still in pain, and she still couldn't walk. Almost every one of the six different physical therapists she had in the past two years said she would walk again. Two of them even said she would be able to run again. But Marinette had a hard time believing them, when after two years, she could still barely move her legs.

So, maybe the nightly runs were less about physical therapy, and more about mental health. After all, once she became ladybug, her therapist told her she was improving by leaps and bounds (Ha!). The therapist her parents insisted on hiring after the accident, when they noticed the depression she had fallen into, had stuck around longer than any of the physical therapists. She still had the same one she had at first. Still, it hadn't done that much help, but at least she had someone to talk to.

The nightly runs might have been many things. But, for Marinette, they had nothing to do with the safety of Paris. It was just what people assumed when they saw their hero bounding over the rooftops. And, honestly, Ladybug didn't mind when Chat joined her, though at first she acted like she did. She enjoyed his company. She loved being able to talk to him. He was her best friend… In a way. Alya and Nino were still her best friends. But they didn't know her the way Chat did. They knew her as Marinette, the sad, broken girl. Even though Nino had been her best friend before the accident, he knew the real Marinette, there was still a look of pity and sadness in his eyes whenever he looked at her. A look she had seen in all of her friends eyes. All except Chat's. He didn't know the sad, broken Marinette. All he knew was Ladybug, the perfect Ladybug. The girl she used to be, and longed to be again.

It was heartbreaking, at times. Getting to be Ladybug for only a short amount of time, before having to return to the chair, return to the life she hated. But Marinette had a high pain tolerance, both physically, and emotionally. That's why she hadn't been akumatized yet. She could deal with a lot of pain before it became unbearable.

It was heartbreaking, having to keep Chat in the dark. He always talked about the perfect ladybug, which only reminded her of imperfect Marinette. He said he didn't care who the girl under the mask was, she would still be his best friend, but he didn't know her. Didn't know what she was. Didn't know that she couldn't do the things Ladybug could do. And she was sure that Chat wouldn't like the version of her she had become. Wouldn't love a girl in a chair.

That was the most heartbreaking part of all. Because she loved Chat. Most people would call it just a crush, but no, she loved him. She loved that he treated her like a normal person, loved how kind, and funny he was. Loved how he was so willing to sacrifice himself for her. But would he do the same for Marinette? Would he treat Marinette like a normal person…. No, because she wasn't. He wouldn't love Marinette. And all his silly flirts… That was just it. She could see that he didn't feel that way about Ladybug either. No, he had told her before, there was a girl he cared about, another girl he loved. A girl better than her. A girl perfect. A girl who could walk….

"Good evening, my lady," Chat Noir said, landing next to Ladybug's perch on the eiffel tower. Not quite noticing her red rimmed eyes, or the tears that trickled down her face.

"Good day, Chaton," she replied, looking over at him with a smile, and ruffling his hair. Playing it normal. So that he wouldn't know how heartbroken she was. "How was your side of Paris?"

"All fine, and beautiful," she quickly wiped the tears from her eyes, when he was looking away, and turned to look out at the city of lights. "How was your day?" Ladybug usually didn't like talking about that kind of stuff. She usually kept everything professional. But sometimes, after a really bad day, all she wanted was a nice conversation, one that didn't somehow revolve around her disability.

"It is so much better now that I'm with you," Chat said, with a flourish, gaining an eye roll, and a soft smile from Ladybug.

"You know, if you keep flirting like that, I might think you like me, instead of that cute classmate you told me about." Ladybug winked, but her heart tugged as she was saying it.

"I didn't mean it like that, my lady. Though I always enjoy spending time with you. You're my best friend. And to be honest, today was kind of boring. I had a pho… I mean, I had to go to work after school, so I couldn't hang out with my friends. Being here is the highlight of my day." He hadn't enjoyed his day. He would have much rather spent it with Nino, Marinette and Alya. But unfortunately, that was the burden of being a famous model. Your social life is on hold for your job.

"I guess I can't call you a flirt. Your argument made way too much sense." Ladybug smiled. "My day wasn't the best, either. My best friends were hanging out after school, and I couldn't join, because I had an… an appointment that I couldn't miss," she explained. The physical therapy appointment hadn't gone well. She had expected all the night runs as Ladybug would help her walk again. But she was still in the same place she had been weeks ago. Nothing had changed, nothing had improved.

"Sounds like the appointment didn't go well," Chat commented, not only noticing her tone of voice, but noticing the pain in her eyes.

"Yeah, it was pretty useless. I got no where, nothing doine," she groaned. "But at least I'm able to come out here and be useful. In my civilian life, I feel pretty useless. Especially after bad appointments like today. Ladybug is a way to get through it all. Kind of like therapy," she admitted, opening up more than she meant to. But a small part of her wanted Chat to know. After all, maybe it would help…. Or maybe he would just look at her with pity like everyone else did.

"I doubt you're useless in your civilian life," Chat gave her a kind smile. But she wasn't convinced.

"You don't know me… I'm nothing like Ladybug…" Marinette said, tears starting to well up in her eyes, once again. Tears that refused to be held back again.

"I know you, you're the brave, strong girl who saves Paris on a daily basis,"

"But I told you, I'm nothing like Ladybug. I'm…. you don't even know the girl behind the mask." The conversation had come up before, and each time, it brought her to tears. Even if she held them back in front of Chat, most of the time. It always made her cry.

"Then why don't you show me the girl behind the mask?" he asked.

"I can't, and you know it," she turned away from him, not wanting him to see the tears she couldn't hold back. She wanted to tell him who she was, and was scared dat the same time. She loved him, and she couldn't bear losing him. But she wanted him to know…

"My lady, why won't you let me see who you are? Do you not trust me?" he asked, staring out at the city of lights, the city of love.

"I do trust you, Chat," she scuffed her feet, staring down at the ground, as she tried to figure out what to say. She hated doing this to him. She knew her denial to let him know who she was hurt him, it hurt her to. But…. it was better this way… Tikki told her they couldn't let anyone know who they were…. and Marinette hid behind it, to keep from the pain that she could hardly bear.

"Then why don't you want to share our identities?" his voice was filled with frustration. He didn't understand, he couldn't understand. Although she was pretty sure his Kwami had told him the same thing. They couldn't know who each other was. Yet, Marinette knew that was also a flimsy excuse for why she wasn't letting him know who she was.

"You see me as Ladybug, not the girl behind the mask. You think you know everything about me, but there are some things my miraculous hides. You're looking for the miraculous hero of Paris, and that's not me. That's not who I am outside the mask, and you…" Tears streamed down her face, and plopped softly onto the metal floor of the Eiffel Tower observation deck. She was not the girl he thought she was. And Marinette, plain old Marinette, broken Marinette, would disappoint him. She was not ready to lose him.

"You are ladybug, with or without the mask. You are the same brave, beautiful, selfless girl. No matter what," he countered. "Without the mask, you can still do…."

"You don't understand!" Ladybug cut him off, yelling. "I can't. I can't…" I can't even walk… "I can't' do this right now. I'm going, and don't you dare follow me, because I swear, if you do…" She swung her yo-yo, hooking it around a nearby building. "I'll…" But she couldn't finish the threat, so she simply swung away, letting the threat hang in the air.

This update took longer than expected, and I'm sorry about it. I've been rather busy, so haven't really been focused on the story. Theater life is pretty time consuming. And I have been working on my own original stories. So, yeah, a pretty stressful life. As always, I would love to hear from all of you. Love you all! -Alice O'Flynn