Oh shit, there are so many things happening in this chapter! It got a little bit out of hand, so it's longer than usual, but that's really nothing to complain about. Anyway, I hope you like it and please don't kill me.
"Alexander!" Magnus called and tried to stand up. But his legs were still too weak and he just fell out of the bed. "Alec! Shit, Luke. What did I do?" Magnus tried to stand up again. He had to go after Alec, explain it to him. He had to get Alec.
"Magnus, stop. You need to rest." Luke said, pushing Magnus back into the bed.
"No, Luke. I need to explain!"
"Magnus, I'm sure he'll understand, he just needs some time to think about it. You would do no good running after him, you would end up collapsing before you even got to the door. So calm down, okay? You can talk to Alec later, when you are fully healed and he has had time to think about it."
"But what if he heard the part about my father? What if he's going to the king right now saying he has to execute me?"
"Does that sound like something Alec would do?"
"No…"
"While you were unconscious he spent day in day out here, waiting for you to wake up. He cares about you. He might be mad, or confused, but he wouldn't want you executed, no matter what. And he would want you to stay here, heal, before you go after him. So get back into bed and let me take a look at you," Luke said, gentle at first but hard and demanding on the last phrase.
"Okay, okay. Fine," Magnus mumbled.
"Good. Now let me inspect you and then I'll go get you some food."
"I'm not hungry anymore."
"But you have to eat nonetheless."
"Fine... but can you please help me into my own bed and then leave me alone?" he requested. He understood that he wasn't able to go after Alec just then, but he felt horrible and when he couldn't talk to Alec then at least he wanted to be alone and hide from the world.
"I can. But in that case, I want you to promise me that you'll call for me if to you need anything. Okay?"
"Fine. I promise," Magnus said. He didn't care, he just wanted to be away from everyone. Be alone and let out all the feelings he'd been holding in. Finding out his father was a prince of hell, being told he couldn't stop the person trying to kill his friend, the pain from Malcolm's magic, and now this whole Alec thing, Magnus just wanted to let til all out. Alone in his room so no one could see him at his weakest.
Luke nodded and pulled Magnus's arm around his shoulder so he could help him up and into his room, where he sat him down on the bed. "Relax a bit and eat something," he told him and patted his cheek. "It's going to be fine, I promise you," he said gently before leaving the room.
"You don't know that," Magnus mumbled, but Luke didn't hear him. Magnus sat back on the bed and looked at the plate of food Luke had left for him. Magnus had been starving just five minutes ago, but now he had no appetite.
He might just have lost whatever relationship it was he had with Alec, the man he loved. Love. Magnus had realized just how deep his feeling were for Alec at the finale. He'd seen Alec there, on the ground, and he'd realized he would rather be executed for using magic than let Alec die. He'd realized he loved him. He'd fallen in love with Alec, all of him. Every side of him he'd had the honor to see, and he wanted to see more, learn more about him, know him better than he knew himself. But could that happen now? Or was this the end? The last chapter of their story, would it end like this? Magnus had dreamed of a fairytale love story all his life, would fate really be so cruel?
"Shit," he cursed and reached for a pillow to hide his face in as he cried.
How could Magnus have done that to him? Alec was devastated. When he had heard what Magnus had told Luke about playing unconscious so he could get out of prison. Magnus had helped the man who had been trying to kill Alec. "Fuck… and I cared about him, sat there for two days," he grumbled and reached for the book that was laying next to his bed. "Fuck!" he shouted and threw the book against the wall.
"I didn't even ask for love, I just wanted a friend! Is that too much to ask for? Am I not good enough for you?" Alec didn't even know who he was talking to, he just felt like there was someone out there trying to ruin his life in particular. Like Alec was some kind of toy they could play with.
As a child, Alec had dreamed he would get a love story like the ones his father told him, where everyone lived happily ever after. He'd abandoned that idea when he realized it would never happen. The stories were always about a prince and a princess, a princess and a farmer, a prince and a damsel in distress. But never about a prince and a prince, or a prince and a knight, or a prince and a servant… So Alec had thrown away the idea, it would never happen.
But he'd just accepted that he wouldn't have any love story, he hadn't prepared himself for a tragedy. Hadn't prepared for this. For falling in love and being friends with this man only to get so hurt, to get cheated on. He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his body. "Damn it, it's only a little over two weeks, pull yourself together," he told himself and slapped his cheeks to clear his head. Well, to attempt to clear his head, because the reality was that it didn't help at all. It only made his cheeks sting a little.
Magnus had betrayed him. Alec had trusted him with everything, with his own life, and Magnus had helped the man who tried to kill him run away. Alec could have him thrown in prison for betrayal, or even get him executed. But he didn't want to. Magnus had taken over his heart and broken it, in half a month, and Alec still couldn't bring himself to do that. Hurt Magnus, in any way, Alec didn't ever want to do that, didn't even want to think about it. He wanted Magnus to be happy. Even if he had to be the one suffering for it.
"Hey, Alec!" he heard Izzy call him from the other side of his door.
"What?!" he snapped, he didn't want to talk to her, or anyone. But he opened the door anyway.
"Hey. I just heard that Magnus woke up and I also heard how you were cursing. Loudly. And you threw some stuff around, so… what happened?" she asked as she stepped into his room.
"Nothing," Alec mumbled. He knew Izzy wouldn't stop till he told her, but he didn't want to.
"Alec, it's obviously something. You know you can tell me, it helps to let it all out sometimes." Izzy said and took Alec's hand, pulling him with her to the bed. "Whatever it is, it's okay."
"It's not okay, Izzy. He betrayed me. I trusted him with everything and he betrayed me."
"What are you talking about? What did he do? And who?"
"Magnus. I overheard him. They thought I was out, and Magnus was telling Luke about how he helped Malcolm escape. It was all just a setup to get him out."
"Alec, that doesn't make sense," Izzy said.
"What do you mean it doesn't make sense? It makes perfect sense. Magnus is not who I thought he was, it's that simple!"
"But if he didn't want Malcolm to end up in a cage then why would he help you in the first place?"
"I don't know, Izzy. Does it really matter?!"
"Alec, we don't know all the facts, there might be something here that we're missing. You can't assume something without knowing everything."
"I don't need to know everything. All I need to know is that he betrayed me. I loved him and he betrayed me," Alec said, only realizing what he'd said seconds later. About the same time Izzy realized it.
"You loved him?" She asked.
"Love," Alec mumbled. "I still do, I still love him."
"Alec, you have to do something."
"Do what?"
"Talk to him, you need to talk and understand each other, you need to hear him out and then judge him. And you really need to talk to him about what you're feeling."
"No. I can't. If I tell him about how I feel that will be the end of our friendship."
"Why would you think that?"
"Because he's straight, Izzy! And he'll be weirded out if I tell him, and he'll never want to see me ever again."
"You are so convinced of that, but what if it's not true? Even if he isn't in love with you, or wants you, what makes you think he'll never want to see you again?"
"I… Maybe I told him I wouldn't want to ever see him again," Alec admitted.
"You what?! And you say he wouldn't want to see you again when you're the one who told him that. You fix that, Alexander. You two need to talk it out before I lock you in a closet together." She threatened. She stood up to leave, but stopped before she opened the door. "You fix that, or I won't forgive you. Nor you yourself," she said before opening the door and closing it loudly behind her, leaving Alec alone yet again.
Is she right? He wondered. Was she? Maybe Magnus did have a good excuse, a good reason. But then why hadn't he told him? And what could ever justify letting a murderer go free? No, there couldn't be. Fate had been sending some mixed signals, but this was its final call. Or maybe it was punishing Alec, for letting himself fall in love, for being so stupid.
Alec cursed again. Cursed himself, cursed Magnus, cursed these feelings he so desperately wanted to make go away, cursed his whole existence.
"Fuck this," Alec said. "Fuck all of this." He stood up, he needed to do something. Something to get his mind off Magnus. Like punching something, that always worked.
A few hours later Luke came to Magnus' room. Magnus was asleep, the plate on his bedside table untouched. Luke closed the door carefully behind him as he entered the room. He needed to reapply the salve covering most of Magnus' body.
The spell Malcolm had hit Magnus with was one of the easiest combat spells, it had been used a lot during the war, so Luke knew what he was dealing with. The spell was made to have two effects, the first immediate one was the burns, and the second, longer lasting effect, was the draining of energy. The victim would over time lose most of its energy, and if whoever cast it was strong enough, the victim could end up dead. Luckily Malcolm hadn't put that much power into it, although Luke had been worried until Magnus woke up.
Luke started gently reapplying the salve. It was cold, so it had a soothing effect on the burns. It was supposed to keep the burns clean and at the same time help them heal. If Magnus was lucky, they would be barely visible scars by the end of the week and be completely gone in a month.
Other than the burns there had been a few bruises, and his palms and knees were scraped, probably from making his way through the woods.
Luke wished there was something he could do to protect Magnus from his fate, to shield him from the world. But he couldn't. It was already written in stone, and fate had chosen two people, barely more than teenagers, to do all the dirty work. The only thing Luke could do was help Magnus. And Alec. He had a feeling there would be lots of trouble coming their way.
"I'll always be here, Magnus. Whatever you need me for, I'll be here," Luke promised. He'd started to feel for Magnus like a son, and he'd be damned if he let anything happen to him.
"Magnus." Magnus was shaken awake. It was that damned voice again. And it came exactly when Magnus couldn't follow it! It was the first night since he woke and he just wanted to sleep, but he was also curious about that voice, especially since he felt like he had heard it all the time while he was unconscious. But was that the truth or had he imagined it all? Anyway, now he had definitely heard it and it had woken him up so he wanted to know where it came from. "What do you want? Who are you?" he whispered and hoped for an answer. He knew he wouldn't get one. After all, the voice only came when he was sleeping. He sighed and decided to close his eyes and sleep. He was still energyless and knew that sleep would help him, and it might bring the voice back.
Magnus spent two days in bed before Luke gave him permission to go further than to the bathroom. The third day, five days after the encounter with Malcolm, Luke allowed him to walk around in the house while he himself was out collecting ingredients and herbs he needed to restock.
Magnus was alone in the loft. He was sitting in Luke's armchair. At first, he'd thought of sneaking out and go find Alec, but he was already exhausted by the time he reached the living room, and not even Magnus was stupid enough to think he could walk all the way to the castle. He would probably end up passing out halfway down the stairs.
There was a knock at the door, but Magnus didn't feel like he could make it that far, so he just yelled, "come in!" The door was opened slowly and revealed a beautiful girl with dark brown hair and eyes.
"Hey," Magnus said, trying to stand up but not really succeeding. "Are you one of Luke's clients?" He asked the unknown girl. "He's not here right now, but I cou-"
"I'm actually here to see you," the girl interrupted.
"Me…? why? Sorry, do- do I know you?" Magnus asked, he was confused because he felt like he should know her, but he just couldn't place the memory.
"You probably don't remember, you were pretty out of it, but I'm the one who found you. You know, when you passed out in my field." And suddenly Magnus remembered her. She was the one, the girl who'd found him, the girl with the horse.
"Yes, I remember you," Magnus said. "Thank you."
"No need, Prince Alexander has already thanked me enough. And it was my pleasure, really. I'm just glad I could help, and I came to see if you were alright. I was rather worried about you."
"Oh… well yeah, I am a lot better now and I'm glad that Alec thanked you but really, you saved my life so, do you want something to drink? Or something to eat? I am not sure what we're having but I can go and have a look."
"No, no, don't worry. I've already eaten, I only came here to check on you. I wanted to know how you were doing, you left me quite scared the other day. I came by the day after I found you, but you were still unconscious," The girl said.
"Oh. Well, thank you for worrying. I'm getting better, Luke says I'll be fine in a few days," Magnus said. "What's your name, by the way?" He asked the girl, only then realizing they never really got to that part.
"I'm Dorothea. Dorothea Rollins," she said with a smile and held out her hand for Magnus to shake.
Magnus smiled and shook her hand. "Magnus Bane. Nice to meet you," he told her and then looked at her a bit more careful. She was pretty and she seemed nice, maybe he should befriend her? She cared about his well being so that was a nice start. "I know you said you already ate, but would you like to stay for tea or something?" Magnus asked. "I would like to get to know the girl who saved my life."
"Sure," Dorothea said. "I don't have anywhere I need to be." Magnus smiled and stood up, managing it this time. Now he just had to make his way to the kitchen.
"Are you okay?" Dorothea asked.
"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just gonna make us something to drink."
"Do you need help to get there?" Dorothea asked. Magnus shook his head. He could do this alone, he could manage that. It took him a while but he eventually ended up in the kitchen. He filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove before he searched for two mugs and placed some tea leaves into small bags which he placed in the mug. "But I think I could use your help to get them back into the living room," he admitted. He didn't like that thought, but it was the truth and he would rather ask for help then drop the cups and break them while the tea landed on the floor.
"Of course. You shouldn't push yourself too much so soon after being hurt," Dorothea said, taking the mugs and going back to the living room, Magnus following as fast as he could. They both sat down on the couch and placed the mugs on the coffee table. "Do you mind if I ask what happened?" Dorothea said. "I know about the whole Malcolm Fade thing, but how did you get away? You don't have to answer that of course, if it makes you uncomfortable or…"
"No, it's fine. I don't mind telling you, and you kinda deserve to know since you saved my life. Well, you know that he… bewitched me, and used me as a shield to get out of prison… he took me to the woods, and I don't really know what happened then but at one point he just threw a spell at me or something and then disappeared… I guess he just didn't need me any longer and we were far enough away so he could just leave me there… maybe he expected me to die because of his spell…. Anyway I made my way through the woods and ended in your field and you are the one who remembers what happened next."
"That's awful. People like him are the reason magic is banned."
"Yeah," Magnus said. "Do you ever wonder how this world could have been if the war never happened, if magic was never banned?" He asked. He didn't know why, but it was something he thought about. And he wanted to talk about it with someone else, to share his thoughts.
"I do actually. Often," Dorothea said. "My mother was executed for using magic when I was a child, I've always wondered what she's like. I guess if the war had never happened I would have gotten to know her."
"Oh, I'm sorry for your loss."
"It's okay. I've made my peace with it. I mean I don't know it any other way so… yeah."
"Still, no one should go through life without a parent. I never knew my father myself, so I know what I'm talking about."
"What happened to him?"
"I… don't know. He left my mom before I was born so I know nothing about him" he said. He felt bad for the lie but he didn't know her that much so he didn't think he could tell her all about his father and the seven princes of hell. So he decided to go with what he had believed for the past 19 years of his life.
"Oh. I guess it's even worse to not know why someone left than to grow up knowing my mother was killed."
"Do you ever feel mad? Mad at that world for being so cruel, mad at the king for forbidding magic, just… mad."
"I do, sometimes. I feel like everything is against me, like nothing wants me to succeed. But I just have to go on in spite of it. As should you," Dorothea said. They quickly changed subject to something nicer, to a lighter mood. They talked about experiences, books, places, dreams and everything else they could think of. The mugs got empty and they went to refill them before continuing their conversation. Hours later Luke came home to see them both on the couch, talking and laughing and smiling.
"Hello. Magnus, is this the young girl who found you?" he asked and stepped closer to them to greet her. "I'm Luke, nice to meet you again. I'm very thankful that you found Magnus," he said and shook her hand. "Do you plan on staying longer? I mean it's getting dark outside so you should probably get home soon."
"Very nice to meet you too, Luke. I'm Dorothea. I hadn't actually noticed, time passed so fast! But I should be getting home. It was nice talking to you, Magnus. I hope we can meet again soon."
"Yes, we should. You can come by anytime, and we can talk some more!"
"Great, I look forward to seeing you more, Magnus," She said with a smile. Magnus smiled back as she closed the door behind her, leaving Magnus and Luke alone in the living room.
"So… I can see that you've had something to drink but what about dinner? Are you hungry?" Luke asked. Magnus nodded. "Good, I brought some food from the market. You can set the table while I prepare it, if you think you can manage."
"I can," Magnus said. He'd managed to make tea, he could set a table.
"Do you want to tell me if she is just a friend or more?" Luke asked with a small grin. Magnus blushed. The truth was, he liked her, she was nice, clever, and beautiful. But Magnus was in love with Alec. But he had to move on from Alec, Alec would never want him and he had not seen him since he had woken up, so Alec clearly had meant it when he had told him he never wanted to see him again. Dorothea, on the other hand, had been flirting with him on multiple occasions, she was someone Magnus could actually end up with.
"I… I am not sure yet, but I think maybe she might be more…" Luke smiled.
"In that case, I'm happy for you Magnus. You deserve someone to be happy with." But she's not the one I really want, Magnus wanted to say. But he didn't, instead, he just smiled and nodded. He had to get over Alec, and the only way to do that was to meet someone new.
"Thank you. She is really nice and I… I rather like her, I think," he said and forced himself to smile. It wasn't a lie, he did like her, but it was difficult.
Alec was miserable, the past few days he had spent every moment training, sparing with some knights or Jace, sometimes Izzy. He also trained with his bow until his fingers were bleeding, he just had to find something to stop thinking about Magnus.
He'd lost count of the number of times he'd caught himself on the way to Magnus' loft, just to remember he couldn't go there. He couldn't see Magnus, he didn't want to see Magnus. At least that was what he told himself day in, day out, while he kept himself busy until ungodly hours in the morning, only to wake up a few hours later and repeat the same thing. He was running purely on adrenaline and pain. Whenever he stopped, his mind was flooded with thoughts of Magnus, and he couldn't take it. He would rather exhaust himself to death than cry himself there.
He shouldn't be like this. Not after just two weeks, not because of a man. That was what was running through his head as he shot arrow after arrow, straight to the bullseye. His fingers were sore, the wounds from the day before had barely closed, but Alec welcomed the pain. It felt nice compared to the one that was raging through his heart. He was too lost in his task to notice Izzy who came up onto the field.
"Alec! Alec, what is wrong with you?!" She yelled, pulling the bow out of his hands as soon as she was close enough.
"Izzy, you're gonna damage it-" Alec mumbled.
"You don't seem to care about damaging yourself, so why should I care?" She yelled, but she put the bow carefully on the ground before taking Alec's hand in hers. "You're bleeding again! And your knuckles are bruised, Alec you need to stop!" Alec pulled his hand out of her grip.
"I'm fine, Izzy," He said.
"Yeah, and pigs fly too now."
"Izzy-"
"You are not fine, Alec. Not even remotely so, and anyone who knows you can see it. Do you think Magnus would want you to do this to yourself?"
"Magnus doesn't care, Izzy! He doesn't care about me, and he doesn't care about anyone. He wouldn't have let a murderer go free if he did."
"Alec-"
"No, Izzy! Stop it. You don't care. He doesn't care, nobody cares. So why should I? What difference does it make?" Alec picked his bow up from the ground. "Don't follow me," He said before turning around and walking away. She yelled after him, but she didn't follow.
Alec went to the stables. His horse was there, Shadowhunter. A pitch black mustang, one of the few in the kingdom. He had been a gift from his father on Alec's 15th birthday, and Alec loved him like a friend. There was something about Shadowhunter, like he understood what Alec was saying, like he always knew what Alec needed. Shadowhunter was actually the one who'd found the clearing Alec now loved. It had been a few days after his 18th birthday, and he had been completely devastated about something, he couldn't remember what. He'd galloped out of the city, and then let Shadowhunter take the steering. They had ended up in that clearing.
"Hey, Shadowhunter," Alec whispered. He was still awake despite it being almost midnight. "Hey, wanna go out for a ride?" He asked. Shadowhunter nighed, and Alec smiled.
"I love you," Alec said, kissing the horse's muzzle. "I love you," he repeated. He moved to the stable walls, where all the equipment was hanging, and moved on to prepare Shadowhunter for a ride. He needed to get out of the city, away from everyone, he needed to be alone. He knew it was probably not the safest thing but he needed to think, about the past few days and what he wanted to do next. What he expected from Magnus and what he expected from himself.
He let Shadowhunter lead the way as soon as he was in the saddle. He didn't know where he wanted to go, but Shadowhunter would always take him to the right place. He sat tall on the horse, and the knights guarding the entrance to the city looked weirdly at him when he rode out, but they didn't stop him.
As soon as Alec was out of view he fell together on the horse's back. He buried his face in the soft mane, taking in the familiar smell that always calmed him, but had no effect this time. "Take me somewhere nice, Shadowhunter, far away from here," he whispered. The horse neighed again before breaking into gallop, taking Alec far away from everyone and everything. And as exhausted as Alec was, the up and down of the horse slowly lulled him to sleep.
Dot, she had told Magnus to call her that, came by again the next day. They spent the day in Magnus' room, since Luke was home. They talked about everything and nothing and Magnus got more and more comfortable around her. She was awesome, and Magnus enjoyed spending time with her even after just knowing her for a day. And she even got his mind off Alec...
Magnus had spent pretty much all the time he was awake thinking about Alec, about what he could tell him, wondering if he really meant it when he said he never wanted to see him again, wondering if that meant he was fired, wishing things were different. But Dot actually made him think about something else, even if just for a few seconds.
"Hey, Magnus. Magnus?" Dot said, trying to get his attention.
"Hm, yeah, sorry. I zoned out."
"Yeah, I noticed. I said I have to go soon, but I would like to meet you again," Dot said. She looked nervous.
"Yes, of course. I would love to meet you again!"
"Yes, but I was thinking about meeting somewhere more… I don't know, like a tavern or something."
"Like a date?" Magnus asked.
"I… yeah. If you want to, of course." Magnus thought about it. He'd already given it some thought the day before. Dot was beautiful, funny, nice, clever, talented, anything Magnus could look for in a girl. And she had just asked Magnus on a date. How could Magnus turn that down? It didn't matter that he was in love with Alec, he could forget about that. Alec didn't want him anyway, so why should he keep wanting him? No, he needed to forget Alec. And Dot was a perfect way to do that.
"I would love to go on a date with you," Magnus said eventually. And he didn't get why he was feeling guilty, he wouldn't spend all his time wanting someone who could never want him back. He was going to move on.
"That's great! I guess it will take a bit longer. I mean you are a lot better now but I don't want to rush you, so I could just visit you a few more times and when you are fit enough to go out, well then we will go out. Erm, do you have any idea where to go? I've heard the tavern near the market should be nice. They have great food."
"Yes, I've heard about that tavern too. Luke says I should be fine to leave the house in two, three days, and I'm desperate to get out of here, so how is Sunday for you?"
"Sunday works. But are you sure you'll be fine by then? Healed enough to go all the way to the tavern?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
"Okay, I'll see you on Sunday then. Around seven?" Magnus nodded.
"Yeah, that works."
"Great! See you then, Magnus. Bye."
"Bye, Dot," Magnus said. The door to his room was closed and he was left alone, although not for long. Luke came bursting in barely a minute later with a grin on his face.
"She looked very happy, did anything happen here?" Magnus blushed.
"What? No. I… I have a date."
"A date? When?"
"Sunday. So I need to be walking by then," Magnus said.
"Of course. You'll be up and walking perfectly by then. I'll go get the salve so we can reapply it," Luke said, heading for the door.
"Hey, Luke," Magnus said, remembering something Isabelle had mentioned. "Isabelle said something about… um, nail polish, I think she called it, to color your nails. Do you happen to have any?" He asked. He'd been meaning to ask for a while, but there was always something more important that needed to be done. Now he remembered it, and it would be perfect for the date.
"I do have some yes, do you want me to bring it?" Magnus nodded, and Luke smiled before leaving his room, coming back a minute later with salve and nail polish in his hands.
"Alec! Where the hell have you been?!" Izzy yelled at him. He was just outside the stables to put Shadowhunter in again, but Izzy positioned her in front of the door.
"Let me in, Izzy," Alec said, not wanting to argue with her.
"No. No, you don't get to be an idiot and then walk around making demands. You might be the prince, but I don't take orders from you."
"Izzy, I really don't want to do this right now," Alec said, trying to push past her.
"Well, that's too fucking bad. You never want to do it, so it's not like I can leave it up to you. You are going to talk to me right now, and you're not going to leave before I say you can. Do you understand me?"
"Yes...Yes, I understand you," he sighed. "What exactly do you want me to talk about? I mean you already know everything."
"I know a few facts. You overheard Magnus saying he helped Malcolm run away, and now you're convinced he never cared about you and you're taking your heartbreak out on yourself. And now you disappeared for half a day. Where were you?"
"I… I'm not actually sure. I fell asleep, slept until just an hour ago, and then Shadowhunter took me back. He's been running all night and he must be exhausted, could you please let me take him in and let him get some rest?"
"Fine," Izzy sighed. "But we're gonna continue this conversation as soon as he's been taken care of," She said, giving him space to take Shadowhunter into the stable. Alec took off all the equipment and filled the food bowls with plenty of water and food. He brushed his hand through Shadowhunter's mane and whispered "thank you," to him before leaving the stable. Izzy was waiting for him outside when he left the stable again. "So..."
"I know the facts, Alec, but I don't know what you're feeling. I want to know, I want to help you, but you need to tell me."
"You already know, I'm mad at him for betraying me, that's all."
"If you were just mad you wouldn't be doing all this. If you were just mad then why did you spend an entire night in the training room crying? You're not mad, Alec. You're sad. And I don't want you to be, so you need to let me help you."
"There's nothing you can do, Izzy. No one can do anything. You told me you believed in fate, well this is what fate has planned for me."
"Alec, you can't believe that. Things are gonna get better for you, and I know it seems like happiness is unreachable, but it's not. It's not, and you will have it, I know it. Don't stop believing."
"You can't stop believing if you never believed in the first place."
"Well, that's a lie. You did believe. You fell in love in two weeks! And now you haven't seen him for 4 days. You have to talk to him. Alec, you don't know why he helped Malcolm. You have to talk about that."
"I can't face him, Izzy. I can't even think about him!"
"Why not?"
"I'm ashamed, Izzy."
"What are you ashamed of?"
"Of myself, Izzy. Of what I'm feeling, of what I said to him, how I reacted. I mean it is a perfectly valid thing to be upset about, but maybe - and that's only if you are right - maybe I overreacted when I told him never want to see him again."
"You did, Alec. Which is why you need to fix it. You have to talk to him, and you have to understand why he did it. Maybe he really is an idiot, and in that case, you reacted just fine, but if there was a reason, then you need to apologize to him, and you need to make it better. Both of you. You hear me?"
"Yes. I do, but Izzy… I don't think I'm strong enough. I don't think I'm brave enough. What if... What if he had a reason and now he hates me or what if he didn't have a reason and is just an ass? Which one would be worse? And what would I do, if I went to apologize and he just slammed the door in my face? He would have the right to do that, but I don't know what I would do."
"Alec, he wouldn't do that. I've only had one proper conversation with him, but I know he wouldn't do that," she told him and reached for his arm. "I understand that you are hurt and confused, but you need to talk about it. I told you I will never forgive you if you don't talk to him and I mean it," she threatened. "I will constantly remind you that you have to talk with him, till the day you actually do it."
"Izzy… why? Why can't you just be weirded out by my problems like any other, normal sister would be?"
"Because I care about you, Alec. And most normal brothers have a father or a mother to do that, but mom isn't here, and dad couldn't care less about your feelings, so someone has to do it."
"I… thank you. Thank you for caring," Alec mumbled, blinking back tears that were threatening to fall. Not bad tears, he was just happy, overwhelmed, that his sister cared so much for him.
"Of course, Alec. I will always care. And I will always love you, no matter what, no matter how big of an idiot you are. I will always be here for you." Alec smiled at her, wiping away the tears he couldn't stop from falling.
"I love you," He said, embracing his sister in a tight hug.
"I love you too, Alec," Isabelle answered, the words getting muffled by Alec's shoulder. "You have three days to talk to him or I will do it for you," she told him.
"Okay. Okay, I'll do it. I can do it." Izzy pulled back from the hug.
"That's the spirit," She said, smiling. She took his hand to pull him with her to his room. "Come on," She said, pulling him along. "I've barely talked to you for almost an entire week, I want to spend some time with you." Alec smiled and let her pull him along. She took them both to Alec's room, where she sat down on the bed.
"You should have that checked," She said, gesturing to the hand she'd just been holding. It was bruised from hours at the punching bag, and the fingertips were scarred from all the hours he'd spent shooting arrows.
"I'm fine. I'll ask Luke to look at it when I go talk to Magnus."
"Are you sure you're fine? It's not hurting, is it?"
"No, Izzy. I'm okay, really."
"Good, then I want to show you this ne-" A loud knock on the door interrupted her.
"Alexander? Your Highness, are you in?" Alec sighed.
"Sorry, Izzy. It's gonna have to wait for later," He said. "Yes, come in!" he called to the man standing outside the door. A servant stepped inside.
"Your father wants to talk to you, your highness," He said. "He is waiting in his office." The servant bowed and exited the room.
"I'm coming with you," Izzy said, following him out of the room.
"What, Izzy, no. He requested me, we don't want him to get mad."
"Alec, you've spent five days doing nothing, he's already mad. I'm gonna be there for you and support you if he wants to yell at you. You don't have a choice in this." Alec sighed again.
"Fine, come along then," He said. They made their way to the king's office together.
"Alexander, Isabelle," Robert greeted them when they entered the room. "You are not supposed to be here," he commented.
"No, but Alec and I were just on our way to training when we were called here, so I figured I could join him instead of having to wait alone by the field."
"A princess like you shouldn't even be in the fields, nor should you assume things. But you can stay, might as well share the news to both of you at the same time."
"What news?" Izzy asked immediately.
"Keep your voice down, young lady. A princess shouldn't speak up to a king."
"What news, father?" Alec asked in a softer tone.
"I've found you the perfect wife, you are to be married in a few months."
"What?!" Both Alec and Izzy exclaimed at the same time.
"You can't do that, that was supposed to be Alec's choice!" Izzy yelled.
"Your brother has been meeting women since he was fifteen, and he still hasn't found anyone that interests him. If I don't take matters into my own hands this kingdom will he left with no heritage! Now, Alec is a nice young man, and there are lots of women taking interest in him, and I'm sure that if he tries hard enough he will manage to fall in love. But he will marry Lydia Branwell, she is a princess of the Londistute Kingdom from a few miles away. She is beautiful, intelligent and talented. She will be the perfect wife for you and you two will get along perfectly. If not, then nobody cares if you have a mistress or two or a hundred, as long as she gives birth to at least one of your kids, I will be satisfied and the crown will stay in the family."
"You can't make him do that! You can't make him-"
"Izzy! Stop, he's right. I have to marry someone, sooner or later. And this Lydia sound pretty nice," Alec said. Then he turned to Robert. "Will I be able to meet her before the wedding?" He asked.
"Of course," his father said. "She will come and visit us in a week to meet you and to officially announce the engagement, I expect all of you to treat her well," he said with a pointed look at Izzy. "And she will be coming to live with us a week before the wedding."
Izzy was fuming, she looked like she was seconds away from jumping on Robert and cutting his throat. Alec took her hand and squeezed it, a silent request for her to stay quiet.
"I will marry Lydia if it is your will, father," he said.
"Good, it's easier for all of us this way. You are dismissed, and feel free to inform Jonathan about this." Alec nodded and pulled Izzy out of the room with him.
"Alec you can't let him do this!" Izzy said as soon as they were outside the room. Alec hushed her and pulled her along. He closed the door to his chambers before letting go of her hand. Unsurprisingly, she immediately started yelling.
"How could you agree just like that?! Alec, he's not the leader of you, you have your own free will, your own life. You can't do everything for the benefit of the kingdom."
"No, but you don't understand! He's right. I've been denying wife's since I was fifteen. I'm gay, Izzy, I'll never have kids, not if I get to choose someone. And the kingdom needs a heritage, and we need a powerful kingdom to rely on. This marriage could give us both of those things."
"But you'd be offering your happiness! What's the point then? We can be the most powerful kingdom of all, but it's not worth anything if you're not happy."
"I never will be happy anyway. I am love with a man who I'm currently not even talking to! How is this supposed to work? And- and if for some reason this ever should become a thing then… well, I can have a mistress or two or one hundred and nobody would care, so I- so I could just as well have a male lover…. As long as I have a kid and don't let anyone know I'm gay."
"But it wouldn't be the same. Being married to Lydia won't just be a contract, she'll be sleeping in your bed, living with you, you would need to have sex with her, Alec. It wouldn't just be a contract, it would change your entire life," Isabelle said.
"Yeah, well may-"
"Hey, guys, what's up? I heard yelling," Jace said, poking his head through the door.
"Dad wants Alec to get married," Izzy said.
"That's hardly anything new, Izzy. Dad's been looking for a wife for Alec for years."
"No, Jace. Dad has found Alec a wife, and he wants him to get married in just a few months."
"What?! Alec, did you agree with this?"
"I said yes…"
"Because he thinks the kingdom is more important than his happiness."
"Damn, Alec. Did Magnus boil your water too much and you burned away every brain cell?" Jace asked.
"No, it's just a fact. You wouldn't understand, none of you can understand! If you had been in my position you could have, but you don't. And you can't make my decisions for me. I'm getting married, end of the story."
"Jace, you have to help me convince him that this is madness!"
"Alec, what exactly are the benefits of you getting married? Okay, so maybe she's hot, but after a while looks won't be enough. And you're not in love with her, you've never even met her! Marrying her would be crazy. You would be unhappy, everything would be awkward, no more one night stands for you, it would be sad. And the only thing you would get is an alliance and some children. Which you don't need, mine and Izzy's could always take over," Jace said.
"Jace, I've never had a one night stand, I don't want a one night stand, and it wouldn't be awkward, just in the beginning. And I know you and Izzy won't marry anyone, so you won't have any kids."
"Who says we won't marry anyone?" Izzy asked.
"Well, I'm sure you'll marry someone, but not someone of royal blood. And you know the laws here, if a child is only half royal it is not suited for the throne. One of many stupid laws this kingdom has. And neither of you are gonna marry some royal person. I mean, Jace had been hooking up with servants!"
"Hey, and Clary I were a one-time thing!"
"So why do you keep meeting up in the middle of the night?" Alec asked. Jace blushed. "It's fine, Jace. Clary is an awesome girl, but that just proves my point," he said.
"You could always change the law," Izzy suggested. "You become king, and then you change the law so all children of royal blood can become heir to the throne, even if it's just half royal."
"But I have to become king first in order to do that and I will never become king if I am not married. To a woman. And have kids. So could we all please accept this? In a few months I will marry this Lydia B-something and then have kids at some point in the future," he told them. He actually heavily doubted he'd be able to get her pregnant, but that would be a problem for the future.
"We shouldn't accept this," Izzy said. "But if you absolutely want to do it then fine, I won't stop you from ruining your life."
"Thank you. I will need your help. I mean… with clothes and other things. I know nothing about women," he sighed and flopped down on his bed. He wished he could talk to Magnus about that, which was total nonsense, but he couldn't help himself.
"I can help you!" Jace chimed in. "I know lots about woman, they love me."
"Thanks, Jace. But I'm not trying to seduce her, I'm trying to look like an acceptable man."
"You are, Alec," Jace said, all serious now. "You're a great man, the best man I've ever known, and I've known me, so that says a lot. And Lydia will love you. I just wished you wouldn't give your happiness away for this marriage."
"I'll still be happy, Jace. I have you two, right?" He said, pulling both Izzy and Jace in for a hug. They both hugged him tightly back, and much to Alec relief they didn't argue any further.
Sunday morning Magnus was actually excited to get out of bed. He was going to meet Dot again. But for a date… which I will enjoy, because she is everything I want in a girl, Magnus told himself. He loved spending time with Dot, and this would be no different.
But he couldn't help but feel like he was using her, using her to forget about Alec, to convince himself he could do just fine without him. She didn't deserve that, to be used like that. But he was going to go on this date, and if he didn't enjoy it he could tell her and they could go back to being just friends.
Magnus stood up, which he could do now without any difficulty and without wincing in pain. He made his way to the kitchen and found Luke there, already preparing breakfast for both of them.
"Hey," Luke said when he noticed Magnus. "How are you feeling?" He asked.
"I'm great. I feel excellent," Magnus said.
"That's good. It's your big day today, right?" Magnus blushed.
"It's not like I'm getting married, Luke. It's just a date, stop making so much out of it." Luke just chuckled.
"Have some breakfast," he said, handing Magnus a plate.
"Thanks," Magnus said, sitting down at the table and waiting for Luke to come join him before he started eating.
"She's a nice girl, Dorothea," Luke said.
"Yeah, she is." They both ate in silence again until Magnus spoke up. "Hey, Luke…" he started. Luke nodded and smiled, encouraging him to go on. "How do you know if you like someone... more than friends?" Magnus asked.
"Hmm… well, first of all you need to find out if that person is someone you could fall in love with. And you have to see, what it feels like to kiss that person, or to be kissed by them? Is it something you would like to do more? What does it feel like to see that person with someone else? Are you attracted to that person? Relationships don't always come from attraction, but it sure gets them started. A lover is like your best friend, Magnus. A lover is first and foremost your best friend. The romance part comes after the friendship. You have to figure out if it's something you're willing to commit to, and when you love someone, you'll know." Magnus nodded along, taking in every word. How would it feel to be kissed by Dot? Magnus had never thought about it. But he had thought about kissing Alec. Multiple times, so many times he'd lost count.
But Alec didn't want him, Dot did. Alec didn't even want to see him again. Magnus had thought about going to the castle, find Alec and apologize, beg for forgiveness. But Alec would laugh at him, get the guards to escort him out and never let him in again. Alec didn't want to see him. Magnus wanted to fix it, but he was too scared, too much of a coward.
"And Magnus," Luke said, getting his attention again. "If you do fall in love, remember that is a rare thing, you should never take it for granted. You have to fight for it."
"Thank you, I will keep that in mind."
"Good. Now, I have to go visit a client, one of the Knights managed to get himself stabbed in the leg. Anyway, I will go check on him, I should be back in a few hours," Luke said. Minutes later Magnus was left alone in the flat.
He spent some time in the living room before going to his room. He was home alone, so he was going to see if he could practice some magic. However, he'd barely gotten to his room when he heard a knock in the door.
"Who could that be?" He mumbled to himself, going back to the hallway to open the door.
He opened the door and was met with a loud, "Magnus Bane, you idiot! You get kidnapped and you don't say anything to anyone for an entire week?!" He heard before he was engulfed in a tight hug.
"I've missed you too, Catarina," Magnus chuckled into her embrace.
"I was so worried when Alec said you were missing. I thought Malcolm was going to kill you."
"Honestly, so did I for a second," Magnus said.
"You need to tell me everything that happened," Catarina said, pulling back from the hug. Magnus nodded and led her inside. He told her the same story he told Dot, and he felt bad for lying, but the truth was just too complicated.
"God, Magnus. Are you okay?" She asked when he was done.
"Yes, I'm fine. Luke has been helping me a lot, the benefits of living with a medic."
"Are you sure you should be up and walking though?"
"Catarina, I appreciate the worry, but I'm not going to fall apart as soon as I take a step. I'm fine," Magnus insisted.
"Okay, okay. Sorry for being worried!" Cat said, pulling Magnus into another hug. "Are you busy?" She asked. "I would like to spend some time with you, it's been a while."
"I'm free until seven, do you want something to eat or drink?"
"No, not yet at least. What happens at seven?" Catarina asked.
"I have a date," Magnus said with a small blush.
"Magnus, that's awesome! With who?"
"Um, I don't think you know her, her name is Dorothea Rollins."
"Do you like her?" Catarina asked.
"I… I think so," Magnus said. And he did think so. He liked her. Not the way he'd liked Alec before realizing he loved him, but he liked her.
"Good. I'm happy for you, Magnus."
They spent about an hour talking before Catarina had to go take care of something. Magnus still had quite some hours before he had to go to the date. He decided to look through Luke's books to see if he could find anything to help Malcolm with his lover.
He'd spent some time reading about demon blood the past three days when he was in bed, but no way to go to heaven with it in your veins. He looked through Luke's bookshelves, looking for something that might help him. He found a book about Lilith and the princes and decided to read it, maybe he would find some useful information, and maybe he would find out some more about his father…
He was sitting on the couch, his nose buried deep in the book, when Luke arrived half an hour later. Luke didn't say anything, which Magnus was thankful for, he needed to concentrate, not miss a single detail.
He was far away in another world when Luke called for him hours later. "Magnus, Magnus?" He said, trying to get his attention. "Have you eaten anything today?" He asked when Magnus finally looked up. "Other than breakfast, I mean." Magnus shook his head. "Well, you should eat something then, I've made us lunch."
Magnus was looking at himself in the mirror, checking that everything looked good. His hair was spiked up and his nails were painted black, and he was wearing a black and white shirt and a pair of black pants. He was ready for his date with Dot.
At least that was what he told himself, in reality, he was nervous. Not because of Dot, he knew everything would go great with her. He was nervous because this was going to be his first date ever, and no matter how awesome Dot was, Magnus knew he didn't want her as anything more than a friend. Not the way he wanted Alec.
"Stop thinking about him," Magnus scolded himself. This wasn't about Alec, this was about Magnus. And Magnus didn't need Alec in his life, especially not if he didn't want him. He had already cried too much over him, spent two entire days doing nothing else. He was done. Done.
He needed to go if he wanted to be there in time, so he took the jacket lying on his bed and left the flat.
Dot was already there when he arrived, waiting for him outside. "Hey," Magnus greeted her with a smile. She was wearing a simple, black dress, and her hair was braided. She was beautiful, she really was.
"Hi," She answered, copying his smile. They both walked into the tavern. It was different from anything Magnus had seen before, the tavern was small and well lit, and it was full, barely any available chairs.
The date itself went by in a blur. They sat down and talked for a while before the food came. It wasn't much different from their usual meetings, except for the noise around them. Magnus actually enjoyed himself, enjoyed talking and being with Dot. Soon enough, too soon, they had finished their food.
"We should probably leave before they throw us out," Dot said, glancing at the owner of the tavern who'd been sending them some annoyed looks.
"Yeah, we probably should," Magnus agreed. He insisted on paying for their food before they both left. The night air felt cold against their skin after having been in the full tavern for so long. "Do you want me to follow you home?" Magnus asked Dot. It was dangerous to be alone in the streets after dark. But Dot shook her head.
"Thank you, Magnus. But I have Cinnamon in the stables, so I'll be fine." Cinnamon was her horse, a beautiful, dark brown Shire.
"In that case, I guess this is where we say goodbye." Dot nodded.
"Would you like to do this again, sometime?" She asked. Magnus thought about the date, how it had felt. He had enjoyed it, so why shouldn't he do it again?
"Yes. Yes, I would like that," He said. The smile Dot sent him shined like the sun in the dark street.
"Great!" She said. Hesitantly she took Magnus' hand in her and pulled him closer to her. Magnus squeezed her hand and smiled, unsure of what she was going to do, but not wanting to ruin the mood. "I can't wait to see you again," She whispered. She pulled Magnus closer, and before he could even think about it, she kissed him.
Just a quick peck, she pulled back before Magnus even had time to kiss back, and with a last smile, she went to get Cinnamon, leaving Magnus alone outside the tavern, looking after her and wondering what had just happened.
Had he enjoyed it? It didn't feel wrong, but he couldn't help but wish it had been Alec. But it hadn't been bad, it could be something to get used to. If Dot wanted him, and he liked Dot, then it was fine, right?
Magnus shook his head and started walking back home. He had to think about this, thoroughly.
In the following three days that came after Alec was told to get married, he had been spending a lot of time with Izzy and Jace to talk about his wedding, what would be expected of him and how he should act. He didn't really like the idea but he knew that it was the right thing to do. He missed Magnus a lot but he had to take care of this first, find out how to treat his future wife. So the days went by and Alec actually learned a lot of things. Some were things he didn't necessarily want to learn, but Jace deemed them important. It was Sunday and most of the day was already over, he just had to survive an hour of dancing with Izzy and then he would be free for the evening. His siblings were supportive, but he could constantly feel how much they disliked the idea of Alec getting married to Lydia. He appreciated the effort they put into it, and was thankful that they didn't argue with him any further. When he came into the ballroom Izzy was already waiting for him.
"I thought you wouldn't come," she teased him, which only caused him to roll his eyes as he stepped closer.
"Well I have to learn this so of course I'm here," he told her.
"Do you know what else you have to do?"
"Learn how to make an effort to care about her?" he suggested, he had no idea what she was talking about.
"It's the last of your three days, you have to talk to Magnus today," she reminded him.
"Wh- What? Izzy, why? I'm getting married, I think that's a little bit more important, and I... what am I supposed to tell him? Hey I love you but I am getting married so if you are interested, would you like to be my secret lover?"
Izzy actually laughed at that and shook her head. "God no. But you have to find out why he helped Malcolm," she said and got them into the position for a waltz. "You need him as a friend and you know I'm right."
They slowly started to dance and Alec thought about Izzy's words, she as right. Of course she was. And he had really missed Magnus, a lot. So he decided that he would go and look for Magnus once this dancing lesson was over.
"You are getting better and better," Izzy praised after 50 minutes of waltzing through the room. Alec didn't know if she actually meant it or if she was teasing him but he smiled and thanked her.
"So, are you going to look for Magnus now?"
"Yes. I mean I have to, right? Otherwise you'll do it for me and I can't let you do that. So, yeah. I'm going to look for him," he told her with a small nod. He was nervous about this, but he was going to be the king someday so he should be able to talk to someone."Please wish me luck, and that… I don't know, that it was all just a big misunderstanding," he shrugged and hugged Izzy quickly before he left the room and went to Lukes flat.
Once he arrived there he stood in front of the door and hesitated. What if he hates me? What if he tried to kill me? If it had been Magnus's plan to kill him during the tournament? Alec was so lost in thought that he didn't notice someone coming towards the door and he jumped when it opened and he heard his name.
"Alexander?" Magnus asked, surprised.
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