Yes, I know this should be the latest chapter of my FanFic (which is
not yet finished) but this idea came to me, and I just had to type it up.
The next chapter SHOULD be around soon, but this should keep everyone
mildly entertained in the meantime..
Top Ten Ways You Know You're Dedicated to Your Animorphs FanFic.
10. While searching some of the few still-active Animorphs fanfiction sites out there, you realize that despite your efforts you cannot find one single Rachel/Marco pairing. You find this somewhat strange seeing as when you were an innocent little eight year old, only having read about two books, neither of which really told you there was something Rachel/Tobias, R/M was the first pairing you came up with (the fact that Tobias was a bird probably didn't help any). After some heavy thought, you wonder is KA actually intended for Marco to be gay, or if that's just the world today's twisted minds. . .oh, he's too busy saving the world to have a girlfriend, so he must be gay, let's hook him up with Ax, the only other single Animorph, so he must also be gay, despite the fact that there has been several references throughout the book of him being interested in Andalite females, not to mention the whole Estrid thing. Would someone please explain to me how Marco/Tobias or Jake/Tom pairings are any more ludicrous then R/M? (*note: I'm probably going to get some heavy flames on this, but I wrote it after reading a list of "Ways You Know Your Animorphs Fic Sucks" and one of them was "you decide Rachel would be much better off with Marco". There was also a lot of other stuff that was pretty stupid, such as the insinuation that if you make a self-insertation fic, it was automatically better if you give the character a really "original"-weird- name-I can't remember what the example was-even though all the Animorphs except Ax have normal, nondescript names. The person that wrote this list really got to me, if you can't all tell.)
9. You make a Sims family named "Animorphus" with the two adults named Marco and Rachel, make them fall in love, and begin to populate Sim City with their spawn (not that I would actually do this *loud, hacking cough *)
8. In a fit of boredom, during which you have no access to a computer, you decide to try and draw the Animorphs, despite the fact that all you can draw is anime. You remember this when you discover that Rachel looks like Sailor Venus, Cassie kind of like a black Sailor Mercury, and Marco and Jake both look like Tuxedo Mask, only Jake's a lot taller (also, Ax kind of resembles My Pretty Pony).
7. You're up on the computer so late writing the fic, that your father, who has this Benjamin Franklin "early to bed, early to rise" motto, finds it necessary to yell at you to go to bed every 10 minutes on the dot ("It's midnight! Time to go to bed!" "Just five more minutes!"). Finally, unable to take it any longer, you respond with "Shut the hell up already!" causing you to become grounded for two weeks.
6. While doing research for said fic, which happens to be a time travel and mostly takes part during Revolutionary War, you stumble upon a site that, while helpful, has annoying patriotic background music. This music overlaps with the Kelly Rowland you are playing, and as you can find no way to turn it off, you sadly stop the Kelly Rowland, as the two together sound much worse then one alone. As you're reading, you suddenly discover that you are unconsciously singing along with that "Glory, Glory Hallelujah" song you can't even remember the name to. Despite your horror, you are still willing to continue reading, for the sake of the fics accuracy, which is kind of a waste, seeing as the only thing you know for sure is correct is that the Revolutionary War started in April.
5. You try to find out if hawks can actually faint. This process includes asking your vet when you happen to take your cat with the amputated tail in for a check up. When the vet responds that he's pretty sure birds cannot faint (although he's never actually treated a red-tail hawk) you shrug and say "Oh, well, he's part human anyway" without realizing how that must sound to your poor, confused vet who's response is an incredibly blank stare and an attempt to pretend the whole exchange never happened by telling your mother that Midnight the cat needs to eat either Vaseline or pumpkin so that he will no longer be constipated.
4. During Math class when you're supposed to be working on problem #13 (4.5x + 6.34 = 100.41) you are struck with a sudden inspiration on how to write that make out scene you've been thinking about inserting somewhere. About halfway through the class, your teacher discovers that there is no possible way you could be working that fast and with that much enthusiasm, and heads over to investigate. Thinking you are writing a note, she confiscates it and decides the class needs to be informed on whatever personal, embarrassing issue you could be writing about. But, since the scene is written in Rachel's point of view (although you don't remember her name ever actually being mentioned) and you once dated a guy named Marco (long story) the class totally takes the whole thing the wrong way, and you are publicly humiliated, despite your protests of "It's just fiction! It's not THAT Marco!"
3. As a last ditch effort to get more specific details on the day of the "Shot Heard Round the World", you try to talk to your history teacher, despite the fact that the two of you share a hate-hate relationship. He claims to believe you're gathering this information to launch another Anti- Bush/Anti-War attack in class, and refuses to tell you anything, but you think he's really using this as an excuse to hide the fact that *gasp * teachers really don't know everything!
2. You talk to a bunch of kids who had to do the Baby-Think-It-Through project last year, since it is no longer available. When talking to the teacher who taught the class, you find out the reason for this is that 3 kids broke the keys used to feed the babies, 2 accidentally flushed the keys down their toilets, 1 Baby-Think-It-Through ended up mauled by a students pet Rottweiler, and 1 senior girl was in a car accident because Baby-Think-It-Through went off in traffic.
And the number one Way You Can Tell You're Dedicated to Your Animorphs FanFic is :
1. Your younger sister performs a series of tests to see exactly what can lure you away from the computer while you're busy writing. The list consists of A) Food B) need to use the bathroom and/or shower C) Buffy* , and D) finding out your younger sister decided to write a human interest piece for her school newspaper based on the results of her test.
* A girl needs her daily dose of James Marsters standing around naked and getting beat up by Buffy.anyone that can get beat up by a girl and still look sexy is good. Very Good.
Top Ten Ways You Know You're Dedicated to Your Animorphs FanFic.
10. While searching some of the few still-active Animorphs fanfiction sites out there, you realize that despite your efforts you cannot find one single Rachel/Marco pairing. You find this somewhat strange seeing as when you were an innocent little eight year old, only having read about two books, neither of which really told you there was something Rachel/Tobias, R/M was the first pairing you came up with (the fact that Tobias was a bird probably didn't help any). After some heavy thought, you wonder is KA actually intended for Marco to be gay, or if that's just the world today's twisted minds. . .oh, he's too busy saving the world to have a girlfriend, so he must be gay, let's hook him up with Ax, the only other single Animorph, so he must also be gay, despite the fact that there has been several references throughout the book of him being interested in Andalite females, not to mention the whole Estrid thing. Would someone please explain to me how Marco/Tobias or Jake/Tom pairings are any more ludicrous then R/M? (*note: I'm probably going to get some heavy flames on this, but I wrote it after reading a list of "Ways You Know Your Animorphs Fic Sucks" and one of them was "you decide Rachel would be much better off with Marco". There was also a lot of other stuff that was pretty stupid, such as the insinuation that if you make a self-insertation fic, it was automatically better if you give the character a really "original"-weird- name-I can't remember what the example was-even though all the Animorphs except Ax have normal, nondescript names. The person that wrote this list really got to me, if you can't all tell.)
9. You make a Sims family named "Animorphus" with the two adults named Marco and Rachel, make them fall in love, and begin to populate Sim City with their spawn (not that I would actually do this *loud, hacking cough *)
8. In a fit of boredom, during which you have no access to a computer, you decide to try and draw the Animorphs, despite the fact that all you can draw is anime. You remember this when you discover that Rachel looks like Sailor Venus, Cassie kind of like a black Sailor Mercury, and Marco and Jake both look like Tuxedo Mask, only Jake's a lot taller (also, Ax kind of resembles My Pretty Pony).
7. You're up on the computer so late writing the fic, that your father, who has this Benjamin Franklin "early to bed, early to rise" motto, finds it necessary to yell at you to go to bed every 10 minutes on the dot ("It's midnight! Time to go to bed!" "Just five more minutes!"). Finally, unable to take it any longer, you respond with "Shut the hell up already!" causing you to become grounded for two weeks.
6. While doing research for said fic, which happens to be a time travel and mostly takes part during Revolutionary War, you stumble upon a site that, while helpful, has annoying patriotic background music. This music overlaps with the Kelly Rowland you are playing, and as you can find no way to turn it off, you sadly stop the Kelly Rowland, as the two together sound much worse then one alone. As you're reading, you suddenly discover that you are unconsciously singing along with that "Glory, Glory Hallelujah" song you can't even remember the name to. Despite your horror, you are still willing to continue reading, for the sake of the fics accuracy, which is kind of a waste, seeing as the only thing you know for sure is correct is that the Revolutionary War started in April.
5. You try to find out if hawks can actually faint. This process includes asking your vet when you happen to take your cat with the amputated tail in for a check up. When the vet responds that he's pretty sure birds cannot faint (although he's never actually treated a red-tail hawk) you shrug and say "Oh, well, he's part human anyway" without realizing how that must sound to your poor, confused vet who's response is an incredibly blank stare and an attempt to pretend the whole exchange never happened by telling your mother that Midnight the cat needs to eat either Vaseline or pumpkin so that he will no longer be constipated.
4. During Math class when you're supposed to be working on problem #13 (4.5x + 6.34 = 100.41) you are struck with a sudden inspiration on how to write that make out scene you've been thinking about inserting somewhere. About halfway through the class, your teacher discovers that there is no possible way you could be working that fast and with that much enthusiasm, and heads over to investigate. Thinking you are writing a note, she confiscates it and decides the class needs to be informed on whatever personal, embarrassing issue you could be writing about. But, since the scene is written in Rachel's point of view (although you don't remember her name ever actually being mentioned) and you once dated a guy named Marco (long story) the class totally takes the whole thing the wrong way, and you are publicly humiliated, despite your protests of "It's just fiction! It's not THAT Marco!"
3. As a last ditch effort to get more specific details on the day of the "Shot Heard Round the World", you try to talk to your history teacher, despite the fact that the two of you share a hate-hate relationship. He claims to believe you're gathering this information to launch another Anti- Bush/Anti-War attack in class, and refuses to tell you anything, but you think he's really using this as an excuse to hide the fact that *gasp * teachers really don't know everything!
2. You talk to a bunch of kids who had to do the Baby-Think-It-Through project last year, since it is no longer available. When talking to the teacher who taught the class, you find out the reason for this is that 3 kids broke the keys used to feed the babies, 2 accidentally flushed the keys down their toilets, 1 Baby-Think-It-Through ended up mauled by a students pet Rottweiler, and 1 senior girl was in a car accident because Baby-Think-It-Through went off in traffic.
And the number one Way You Can Tell You're Dedicated to Your Animorphs FanFic is :
1. Your younger sister performs a series of tests to see exactly what can lure you away from the computer while you're busy writing. The list consists of A) Food B) need to use the bathroom and/or shower C) Buffy* , and D) finding out your younger sister decided to write a human interest piece for her school newspaper based on the results of her test.
* A girl needs her daily dose of James Marsters standing around naked and getting beat up by Buffy.anyone that can get beat up by a girl and still look sexy is good. Very Good.