Rachel

When I flew back and hit the ground, I was just thinking about how sucky my life was. Seriously. Not only have I been fighting an evil parasitical alien rave for the past two and a half years, but I'd been sent back in time with the most annoying guy ever.

And the most annoying guy ever had to go and throw himself in front of a bullet for me.

I didn't even want to think about what THAT meant.

And then, to top everything off, that stupid Mickey Mouse thing exploded when Marco tried to grab it from me.

Jake bent down and grabbed my arm to haul me back on me feet.

I felt awkward as I tried to get up. My body was kind of stiff. It felt a little weird.

"That was some fall you took, dude," Jake said, brushing me off.

Dude? Gee, thanks, Jake.

"Yeah—" I started to say, but my voice sounded funny. Too deep. I cleared my throat and tried again. "What happ-"

I stopped. Something was wrong. That was most definitely NOT my voice. In fact. . .I patted down my chest, arms, face. This was NOT my body. No boobs. No long hair. And there was more weight. Not fat, but my body was very slender. This one was stockier.

"What—" I started once again, but then I saw it. Her. ME! Getting pulled to her/my feet Cassie. If MY body was there, then. . .where was I?

I looked down. Oh, God, no. I recognized that colonial boy get up. I was. . .

I stopped thinking and started screaming.

But even that freaked me out. The scream wasn't mine.

"Marco! Marco, what's wrong?" Jake shook my. . .Marco's. . .shoulder.

"No!" I shook my head violently. Dark brown hair swung and brushed against my cheeks. "No, it's wrong, something's wrong! I'm not Marco!"

"What?" Jake looked at me like I was crazy. Which, since I was in Marco's body, I guess I very possibly was. Jake turned and looked at her/me. She/I was still screaming. "What are you talking about, man?"

"I'm not Marco!" I shrieked. It was almost comforting. Marco could get surprisingly high-pitched for a guy. "I'm just in this body! I'm really. . ." That's when it hit me. If I was in Marco's body, that could only mean one thing. I'd seen Freaky Friday. I knew how this worked.

"Oh, hell no." I muttered.

My body had stopped screaming. Her/my hand touched my face, arms, chest.

Lingered a little too long on my chest.

I shoved Jake aside and marched across Cassie's yard. I reached me. My body.

"Marco?" I asked myself.

"Rachel?"

Cassie looked back and forth between the two of us. So did Jake, who had followed me across the yard. Realization dawned on both of their faces.

And then, incredibly, they both started howling with laughter.

"This is not funny!" I shrieked. "Not funny! NOT FUNNY!"

I agree, said Ax, who had not said anything since I had come back from the Revolutionary War. Evidently even he had figured out what was going on. This situation is most serious.

"It's just—" Cassie gasped through her tears of laughter. "It's just that it's you—" Giggle "And—and—" Shriek of laughter "Marco!"

I ignored her. "Where did this thing come from?" I demanded from Ax, waving the Mickey Mouse ear in his face. I couldn't help noticing that the hand that held it was much browner and rougher than my own. "What IS this?"

Ax shrugged and pointed at the little redhead girl I hadn't even noticed was still around.

She looked at me warily.

"Where did you get this?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I don't know, I just came home from school, and it was on my bed. I thought the writing looked alien. I thought you all might know what it was."

"But—but how. . .how do I get out of THIS?" I gestured at Marco's body. I could feel panic rising in my throat. Marco's throat.

Ax had picked up the middle of the device. Perhaps if Rachel and Marco each take one of the circles and put them back the same way they pulled them apart, the effect would be reversed.

Jake and Cassie were still laughing to hard to contribute opinions. Marco was still sitting on the ground, getting my clothes dirty. I held out my hand and pulled him to his feet. It was surprisingly easy. I guess that meant Marco was stronger than me. That REALLY sucked.

Marco was still holding the other Mickey Mouse ear. We tried putting the ears back in the way they had been before. Nothing happened. We waited. Still nothing. So we tried again. We switched ears. We put the ears in at the same time, we put them in slowly, we tried sticking them in place faster, we tried everything short of standing on our heads.

"This is a nightmare," I said, handing the device over to Ax so he could poke at it some more.

Marco had a funny look on his-my-face. "Uh, Tobias? I think you're sending that message to the wrong person."

Oh, Tobias said. Oops.

After several tries, we discovered it was impossible for Tobias to send private thought-speak to me. Everything went right to Marco.

"I think it's a mental thing," Cassie explained. "Tobias's mental image of Rachel is all screwed up. He pictures her as tall, blonde. Female. But right now, it's Marco that that's tall, blonde. And female. And Tobias knows that, so his mental picture of Rachel, and Marco too, are totally off. I bet we'll all have the same problem. But after a while, once we get used to it, we'll be able to get thought-speak right again."

"After a while!" Marco shrilled. I could practically hear my vocal cords straining. "I am NOT staying like this for a WHILE. I want my body back RIGHT NOW, before Rachel's body goes on the rag or something."

Apparently the thought of this was too much for Cassie and Jake. They both exploded back into giggles.

Perhaps there is a temporary solution, Ax said. Marco and Rachel can acquire and morph their own bodies. They will have to demorph and remorph regularly, but--

"Good enough!" I said. I grabbed Marco's—my—arm. It was way weird. I focused on. . .me. . .and tried to acquire.

Yes, tried. Because right when Marco should have been getting all drowsy from acquiring trance, I felt a zap like static electricity, only stronger, and yanked my hand away from Marco.

It seems the creator of this device foresaw that loophole.

"No shit." Marco rubbed his arm where I'd zapped him.

"There's got to be a way out of this," I moaned.

If we might suggest. . . said one of the giant Helmacron things. I still wasn't really sure why they were still around or why they had been here in the first place.

"Yes?" Cassie asked calmly.

Perhaps we can take the device with us back to the Iskoort home planet. They have encountered many species. There's a chance someone there may know who made your device, or even how the effects can be reversed.

"And you're just going to do this out of the goodness of your hearts?" Marco asked warily.

Well, no, said the alien. We do request a small payment for our services.

"What's that?"

Your memories from when you were in the past.

Jake had a considering face. "Half now, half later," he bargained. "You can take Marco's memories now and Rachel's when you get back."

After several more minutes of haggling, a deal was made. Jake's original offer stood, but in addition, if the aliens found out how to reverse the effects of the Mickey Mouse thing, we'd throw in a pint of blood from each of us, some of Ax's fur, and a raccoon leg Cassie's dad was about to amputate.

The raccoon leg was my idea, and what really sealed the deal. Bargaining can be a big part of shopping, and if there's one thing I know how to do, it's shop.

The aliens got back into their little spaceship and we watched them blast away from inside Cassie's barn.

"So who the fuck were they?" Marco asked.

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