Disclaimer: Buffy et al does not belong to me, any dialogue from 'Welcome To The Hellmouth' also not mine. There are also a few words borrowed from 'Dead Mans Party', see if you can spot them :)

Who, What, When, Where, Why

The next few days were slow, they were always going to feel that way, the desperate all-encompassing need to move, to act, to fight, was overwhelming. She was finally going, today. The minute Buffy was out of that place she felt a huge weight lift from her. The air felt cleaner and so did she.

Once they were home she calmly asked her parents what was going on, Buffy was grateful that they treated her like an adult and told her the truth about their break up. They swore that it wasn't her, that her behaviour and 'illness' hadn't had any bearing on the situation. She wanted to believe that, but it was difficult considering all that'd happened.

She had hated this part, she'd had to lie and sneak and keep secrets from them. And still, she couldn't tell them about her…extenuating circumstances.

Would it really cause more problems? Aside from thinking her insane that is. Or creating an unbearable living environment, her mother hadn't exactly embraced it when Buffy had been forced to confess…when Angel had tried to end the world.

Angel.

No.

Just stop, one step at a time.

She wasn't quite ready to face all of that, or him.

After they'd finally fessed up about the divorce, her Mom told her about Sunnydale and Buffy tried to feign surprise. Her mother had certainly expected more opposition. She may have also been a little wigged at Buffy's generally cooperative attitude, she would have been far from genial had she not had the 'vision'.

Buffy had already spent a lot of time trying to imagine ways she might prevent her mom's brain tumour and her dying. The horrible truth was, it was likely that nothing would be able to stop it and that feeling of helplessness pervaded her whole being.

There was nothing she could do to stop it. She would make the most of time with her mom, depressing though it was to think it, it was a necessity now, if there was nothing to be done. Buffy sure as hell wasn't going to take her presence for granted. She still had her, in this reality, and that was a gift. Even so she began to do some research on brain aneurysm.

Then there was the matter of Dawn, the other elephant in the room that she could not ignore.

There was no Dawn, not yet anyway.

It was hard to accept that she had no sister yet and probably wouldn't for another four years, if her theory was correct. Buffy wondered whether she would remember that Dawn wasn't her sister when the time came. Surely, the monks wouldn't take memories away, they would only add to them?

Buffy did not know, she didn't have the answers to so many things. But she could fall back on her diary, that would fill her in if she didn't remember.

She had started a new one and made sure to hide it well. If her mom went snooping in her room for anything weird she would only find the old regular one, and there was nothing weird in that. Buffy had also started writing in a slayer diary too, Giles would be proud. And hoped that three diaries were manageable on top of homework and training. She knew how to make things more complicated, three diaries and the need to find ingenious hiding places for two of them.

At least she would have somewhere to put all the jumbled thoughts instead of them running circles in her head. All the questions about the future and everything, there was too much, and she had to put it somewhere. Out of her mind and on paper seemed a good idea.

They moved the following week, and Buffy had no time to find Pike because her mom watched her like a hawk. All she could do without in-depth questioning was pack, which also made it difficult to get out and patrol. But she considered herself an expert on sneaking out and managed a few patrols and training sessions too.

Buffy was still looking forward to school, though a strange feeling seemed to have settled in her stomach, accompanied by continuing confusion concerning what she knew about the future and what, if anything she could do about it. She hoped that talking it over with Giles would ease some of that pressure.

Buffy woke up from a horror induced frenzy; a dream or rather, a nightmare to blame. She recalled those dreams, the master, the harvest, and everything else. She lay back on soft pillows, trying and failing to get back to sleep. It was 01:03 and with a sigh she gave in to the inevitable. Sleep was unlikely to come easily, and she might as well patrol, maybe that was why she couldn't sleep.

By the time she left the second cemetery she'd managed to dust three vampires and was on to the next. For that reason, she was more than a little puzzled to find that her feet had carried her to Sunnydale High School instead.

It was a strange kind of feeling to be stood before the original school building, with all the associative people and events during those years running through her mind; it looked exactly as she remembered, another item checked off the list. Buffy still wasn't sure if another nod to the affirmative was a good thing. How could she possibly deal with all the things she knew if even a small percentage turned out to be true?

She wondered if Giles was around, an all-nighter was always a possibility if he was deep in research mode.

But then her sensitive slayer hearing caught the sound of breaking glass that appeared to come from somewhere on school grounds. She was half way toward its origin when she recalled a crucial piece of information.

"Gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the locker…. Some guy was stuffed in Ora's locker…. Totally dead, Way dead."

Cordelia's voice echoed strangely in her head and she upped her walk to a run, realising it might already be too late. Buffy rounded the corner of the building and spotted broken glass from a science lab window. She pulled herself through it, landing on the floor inside with as little noise as possible. Peering through the classroom door, she heard voices close by and as stealthily as possible opened it and crept through. Hearing the all too familiar growl and accompanying face morph of a vampire as it bit someone, Buffy knew there was no time, she ran and pulled the blonde vamp off him where she was spun around and hit the wall as the guy fell to the floor, obviously dead.

Buffy cursed herself, here was the first victim of Buffy Summer's stupidity. She hadn't been quick enough; she hadn't remembered when she should have. So much for those diaries she was painstakingly adding to whenever she remembered something.

She faced the vamp ready to deal with it before her guilt trip could take a vice-like hold.

Until she realised who this vamp was, and guilt and all other rational thought swiftly flew from her mind.

Anger, hate, jealousy, burned within her along with all the other unappetising emotions this being provoked, and they rampaged through her veins as she faced Angel's sire, Angel's ex-lover.

"Darla." Buffy spat her name, not able to disguise the contempt from her tone while she flicked the stake around in her hand, ensuring that Darla would see it.

She looked at Buffy, clearly irritated that she'd not been able to finish her meal. Unfortunately, that small detail hadn't made any difference to the poor guy lying on the floor down there.

"Do I know you little girl?" She asked icily, her gaze taking in the defensive stance, and the furious expression Buffy was unable to contain.

"No, but I know you." Buffy replied, running out of patience and getting antsy, she needed to get this done.

Darla regarded her suspiciously, her line of sight now resting on the stake, she released a derisive laugh.

Huh she thinks it's that funny does she? She won't be laughing when she's blowing in the wind, Buffy thought savagely.

"Slayer."

Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Gee, what gave me away?"

Darla looked pissed and took a stance readying for a fight though her gaze flicked to each end of the corridor, she was obviously weighing up each one as a possible escape route.

"I don't think so bitch, like I'm going to let you run back to your master." Buffy told her,

"Very well then." She said confidently, her attention now solely focused on the slayer, while her expression clearly indicated that she did not want to fight, just as Buffy remembered Darla hadn't in the mausoleum.

She didn't want to fight a slayer.

A bit strange considering she was supposed to be a badass vamp, hundreds of years older than even Angel, but then it was Spike who had killed two slayers, not Darla.

Buffy punched her face a couple of times while she dodged all attempts to hit her back. A kick meant that Darla was now on the floor again, looking annoyed, a growing fear evident in her eyes.

"Not so chatty now, are you?" Buffy asked as Darla backed away still on the floor. "Nothing to say? I'm disappointed."

Buffy kicked her again though Darla managed to scramble back up. They exchanged more blows and kicks, Buffy retained the upper hand and Darla was faltering.

"I can't imagine anyone will miss you." Buffy stated a little breathless as she pounded her with a series of punches in very quick succession.

Buffy retrieved the stake from her sleeve and with a quick lunge forward it was embedded in Darla's chest cavity.

She smiled viciously, victorious.

Darla's face displayed complete disbelief before it and she was eradicated, a cloud of dust settled on the floor, and on Buffy, which she hastily brushed off. Ugh, Darla dust, not the kind of accessory she wanted to be wearing.

She froze as a voice called into the nearby classroom, had they said Darla?

Buffy glanced guiltily at the dead boy again but knew she couldn't do anything now, she couldn't even call the police, not wanting to implicate herself or become entangled with the Sunnydale police earlier than was necessary. She had to leave him, quickly scanning the area and grateful to find there were no security cameras in that corridor. She made a stealthy exit, briefly reflecting that the cleaners or a teacher would find him in the morning, he wouldn't fall out of a locker this time. All the while trying not to reflect on who he was and her inability to save him.

She made her way out via a different window and snuck up on the vampire clearly waiting for Darla by the broken one. He must have been young for her to have caught him unawares and she staked him quickly, this time remembering to save the stake, it was the only other one she'd brought along.

Buffy managed a good sweep of one more cemetery and killed another vamp before deciding enough was enough and heading home. She didn't give much thought to her dusting of Darla, wondering about Angel instead, particularly as she had a strong sense that he had been following her since that last cemetery.

Would he regret her killing Darla? Had he wanted to do it himself?

Well, it was too late now, there was one less vamp in town and as far as Buffy was concerned that was all good. She turned her attention back to the proficient stalker that she'd acquired about ten minutes before.

She stopped walking and half-turned around, glancing back up the street; the faint sound of his footsteps stopped. She stared into the inky black lamppost-less area, how helpful and not particularly safe for the average person.

Deciding it would be easier to meet him the next night she began walking again at the same pace. He followed her all the way home.

She climbed through the window into her bedroom, setting her other foot down as gently as possible, and finally, she felt like she could sleep. Several thoughts flitted through her head, she hadn't saved that boy tonight; how many more like him would there be? How many things would she be able to change, if any, even with her inexplicable knowledge?

Her life was strange enough before all of this, being the slayer had given her a monopoly on the feeling, but this was even weirder. Like some science fiction crap, only this was disturbingly real.

"Buffy!"

She heard the call through a hazy fog and with gratitude clawed her way out of the dreamscape where a nasty demon was running rampage through her mind.

"I'm up!" She replied,

"Buffy! You don't want be to be late for your first day of school." Her mom called back,

"No, wouldn't want to do that." Buffy said to herself, sitting up in bed, suddenly experiencing a very strong sense of deja vu.

When they arrived at school her Mom was full of platitudes about making friends. Yeah, Buffy liked the idea of making friends, but it was fraught with complications and concerns. This precognition was no walk in the park and being the friend of a slayer was no picnic anyway.

She sighed and got out of the car.

"And honey?" Her mother prodded,

Buffy turned around,

"Try not to get kicked out of school." She asked, a gentle plea and a loving expression on her face.

Buffy nodded,

"I'll try mom."

She would try her hardest not to let history repeat itself, those words holding more than one meaning.

She figured that there was no spare time to visit Giles, the meeting with Principal Flutie loomed over her head. Buffy sat there while he talked about a clean slate and she attempted to work out how to stop those possessed hyena kids from eating him, he had been a good guy, and it would be a great bonus to be spared that nasty bigoted rodent man known as Principal Snyder. She recalled the meeting word for word.

"…Not even if it says…err." He became distracted by her transcripts.

Oh no not good.

"Principal Flutie…" She began to say,

"All the kids here are free to call me Bob." He replied in a friendly voice,

"Bob." Buffy said, unable to stop herself from the faux pas, as it slipped out involuntarily.

"But they don't." He continued,

"I know that my transcripts are a little colourful."

"Hey, we aren't caring about that, are you sure colourful is the right word, not abysmal?"

"Well…" There wasn't much she could say to that. She couldn't deny it, they were abysmal.

"You burned down the gym." He said whilst busy taping it back together.

"I really did but that's really not the big picture, that gym was full of…asbestos?" She told him not able to think of something better this time.

When she was dismissed she left and immediately bumped into someone, dropping the contents of her bag all over the floor. It was very hard not to be completely taken over by the strongest feeling of déjà vu yet, particularly when she found that one very familiar looking boy had bent down to help her.

"Can I have you?" He asked, his goofy smile accompanying his goofy slip-up.

"Can I help you?" He corrected himself,

Buffy couldn't help but smile in return; she'd forgotten just how sweet he'd been when they'd met.

Except it had never happened.

It was too weird to think about. She remembered six years of her life in Sunnydale but had not really lived them.

"Thanks." She replied as they picked up a few bits.

"I don't know you, do I?" He asked, clearly very interested,

"I'm Buffy, I'm new."

"Xander is me, hi." He shared, smiling deeply,

Oh Xander, it is you.

"Thanks."

"Well, maybe I'll see you around. Maybe at school, since we both go there." He told her, looking cute as he babbled nervously.

"Great it was nice to meet you." Buffy told him, desperate to say more but she held her tongue.

She couldn't do it.

After history class she couldn't help but get caught up in Cordelia's self-involved orientation around the school. When they reached the water fountain to find Willow, Buffy jumped in just as Cordelia finished her 'once you can identify all your losers by sight' ramble.

"Yeah and you know what Cordelia, I'm looking at one right now, I think I'd much rather have real friends and if you don't mind I'd like to talk to Willow for a moment."

And with that she steered Willow away, leaving Cordelia with a stunned expression on her oh so perfect face.

Well that's all well and good but what about keeping them safe?

"How did you know my name?" Willow asked, breaking through those difficult thoughts.

"I have my sources." Buffy smiled enigmatically; yep this was her Willow. "You don't mind if I hang with you?"

Willow shook her head smiling uncertainly.

"I heard that you were the person to talk to, to help get me caught up." Buffy admitted,

Willow's whole demeanour altered from shy to confident in two seconds.

"I can totally help you with that, we could meet in the library after school's finished." She suggested,

Buffy was not sure about that. On one hand she was desperate to get on with her life, have Willow and Xander share her secret just as she remembered but she had this overwhelming urge to protect them.

But how could she be sure they were safer not knowing?

It was a fair question. Not knowing certain things in Sunnydale could get you killed. Knowledge was power.

"Yeah we can do that." She relented,

Willow went to her next class and Buffy decided to see Giles, to try and explain and talk about The Harvest. At least she had a free period and wasn't skipping class on the first day. She also needed that history textbook and it provided a good excuse. Not that anyone would be in trouble for visiting the library.

Buffy opened the double doors and stopped to take it in. It looked the way she remembered, exactly, down to the furniture and cage in the corner. It was so hard to believe that she'd never really been there.

Walking over to the counter she noted the same newspaper story was circled. She turned to walk towards Giles' office only to practically collide with him in the process.

"Miss Summers, hello again."

"Yeah, hi, didn't we do the whole you can call me Buffy thing? Anyway, I thought I best explain about the thing I told you when we met. Also, did you research the demon that poisoned me and the Harvest?" She reeled off quickly, keeping her voice low.

"Well, I would like an explanation as to how you know certain things and yes I have researched that demon as you call it and the Harvest, I'm not quite finished but I think I have got the gist."

"Good, shall we have a talk now? I've got to warn you, you may think that what I'm telling you is slightly insane. Like maybe I should back in that place..." She sat down at the table, like she'd always been doing it.

"Go on, let me be the judge of whether it is insane or not."

"Okay here goes… when I was poisoned, and, in the clinic, I experienced some sort of psychic premonition. The doctors thought they were hallucinations, but during that time I experienced six years' worth of my life from 1996 onwards." Buffy blurted it out and waited for his reaction.

He leaned forward with an incomprehensible expression on his face. She couldn't really tell what he was thinking. Did he think she was crackers or maybe she was lying?

"Are you saying you think you have seen the future?" He asked finally after several long moments.

"Yes, and I don't think it, I lived it, so much so that when I got better I thought I'd been in there for six years."

"You lived it? Am I to understand that you think,"

She gave him a look, so he corrected himself quickly,

"Am I to understand that you have effectively lived the next six years and that is how you knew me, and about the Harvest." He questioned,

She nodded,

"Yes. Though some things are slightly different. I would have met you for the first time just now if it hadn't been for that stupid demon. But then if I hadn't been poisoned I wouldn't have known that and we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Yes." He agreed, obviously deep in thought. He sat there quietly for several minutes while Buffy wondered how long it was going to be before he started asking her questions she wouldn't have the answers to.

"Giles." She said finally, waving her hand in front of his eyes instead of waiting for him to emerge from thinking mode that could last until Willow came to meet her. He looked up a little surprised.

"Oh, my apologies."

"It's a lot to think about huh?" She asked, watching him closely, hoping he would have some incredible insight, be the all knowing all wise Watcher that she needed him to be. She had felt a little lost without anyone to talk to.

"Yes, yes it is. We should talk about this in detail."

"Can't we talk now?"

"Well, yes we must but there is also The Harvest to consider."

"Yeah, I know, I remember, and I stopped it, so I don't see why I can't do the same now."

"You stopped it?" He asked,

"Well, technically not yet but I will, there's so many things happening, that are going to happen that my brain is fried, I need to unload at least some of it." She admitted,

Giles nodded, he seemed to understand.

"Of course, it must be rather, overwhelming, to know what is going to happen, if indeed that's what it is." He commented, his continued scepticism showing through.

"It is what it is Giles! Slayers have precognitive dreams right, that poison, could have caused a full-blown psychic vision." She replied, feeling frustrated at his understandable disbelief.

He considered her words for a moment.

"You are right Buffy, it is plausible. The matter at hand however, is The Harvest."

She rolled her eyes at his preoccupation, unable to restrain herself, here she was trying to talk to her Watcher about these serious issues and all he could focus on was the Harvest.

"I'm not the Slayer out of choice you know, you Watchers owe me for agreeing to continue when all it's got me is trouble." She huffed, annoyed, and immediately very self-conscious of the quick to anger emotions that were ruling her body, fuelled by all those stupid teenage hormones.

Ugh. Oh well too late now.

"We owe you?" He asked, astonished.

"To date being the Slayer has gotten me in nothing but trouble. I got kicked out of school, lost my friends, saw my Watcher get killed. I spend all my time fighting for my life and can't tell anyone, and not only do my parent's think I am trouble, they think I'm crazy too, so you'll have to forgive me if I'm not my callings biggest fan. The only reason I'm even talking to you is because I know things that are going to happen, and they aren't good."

This was only partially true anymore, the urge to fight, the almost physical sensation of her calling was growing all the time, but he didn't need to know that right now.

Giles didn't look pleased and in return Buffy's current mood meant that she didn't care.

"It is your duty." He intoned solemnly.

"Yeah." She snorted in disgust, those six years' worth of memories meant nothing in relation to her current mood.

It was exactly how she recalled that first day at Sunnydale, so pissed off at Giles for forcing Slayer duty above all else.

She breathed in and out slowly, centring and anchoring her emotional response. No matter how resentful she had felt, Buffy had regained focus and perspective as she was attempting to do right now.

It was a strange feeling, and she was angry, but they were the old issues, or they felt like old issues, ones she had moved past long ago. She was directing it in the wrong place, it wasn't Giles' fault and guilt took over.

"It is your duty." He repeated, and she knew what was coming next. "You are the Slayer…."

"Oh, yes, this is a good bit, I am the Slayer, one girl in all the world, the chosen one, one girl born with the strength and skill to fight the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil, yadda yadda, I've heard it already, several times, that includes from you." She smiled such a brilliant smile then, trying to atone for her misdirected anger, the ever-mercurial temperament of a teenager at work.

He looked shell-shocked, not used to dealing with a teenage girl and not sure how to respond.

"Giles, I don't mind dealing with The Harvest, but there are other things, worse things that are coming." Buffy tried to stress the importance.

"Very well." He allowed, already weary.

"Look, Giles, I've got a class now, oh I forgot that History book, of course I did, I'll get it later." She got up and headed for the door.

"You are coming back yes?" He asked quickly,

Buffy turned and smiled, feeling calm once more.

"Yeah, I'm meeting Willow after school for some catch up, we'll talk."

"I do realise the seriousness of what you are saying Buffy." He continued gently, his soft expression warming her heart. She paused,

"Yeah okay, I know you need to think about it, maybe consult some books, I'm sorry for earlier, I'm not mad at you." She apologised, sincerely wishing for their close relationship to spring up out of nowhere.

He smiled in return.

"We will talk later then, though obviously not with Willow around."

And there it was, and all the associated implication, the slayer must work alone, your identity must be kept a secret ad infinitum. How come it was always her and yet Kendra's family, her people knew all about it, they took it so seriously she went to live with her watcher when she was a …Kendra! Now that was another can of worms.

Buffy was less than keen to play right into the master's hands, into the trap he was planning and get killed, if she managed to avoid that and the apocalypse then Kendra wouldn't be called. How the hell do you stop something that is prophesied and besides that stop a being who you can't take the fight to lest you set him free for said prophesy?! How again?

"Will you be patrolling?" Giles' voice filtered through her confused and melancholy reflection.

"Maybe. I'm going to check out the Bronze, that's where The Harvest goes down." Buffy said, the lie slipping out far too easily. It really was best to let him come to his own conclusion, that her whole evening was to be spent on slayer business.

She was vaguely aware that lying to Giles wasn't a good beginning, but she was damned if she was going to let an opportunity for fun pass her by. Particularly when her whole life had flashed before her, she was a hell of a lot more aware of the dangers around her and that her calling was calling her to care, and to fight with such ferocity. That was completely new.

"Very good." He approved,

"Can you please not tell the Council about this?" She asked suddenly, very aware that they weren't to be trusted and could easily want to poke and prod her and who knew what else. Oh, the conversation with him about the cruciatum would be interesting!

His eyes found hers, his gaze sharp, he furrowed his brows briefly, looking slightly puzzled.

"I just don't want them knowing about it right now, we have enough to deal with." Or ever, she finished in aside to herself.

He nodded, conceding.

Buffy had to run, that class would be starting. But she smiled secretively, knowing she could tell him something that would please him.

"I really gotta go now! But Giles, you might be interested to know that I staked Darla last night." And with that she sprinted out of the doors, leaving him stood there with another surprised expression on his face. She wondered how long it would be before he went to write it down in his Watcher diary.

Shortly after Buffy had left and Mr Giles was absorbed with various books in his office, Xander Harris was finally able to shift from his position behind the book shelves to gawk at the now deserted library.

"What?!" He exclaimed in amused disbelief. He might just be losing his mind, strike that, it wasn't him, more likely that new British librarian and the cute new girl had lost theirs, yes that was it. Though as he thought it, a strange something niggled at the back of his mind, well, there was one way to know for definite.

Ooooooo!

Questions? Comments? Any feedback would be wonderful!

B x