Chapter 21 - A crash course in subterfuge
The entire visit had remained pleasant, but Hermione was still a little relieved when Ron excused himself to speak to Professor Dumbledore. He was uncomfortable working with Harry, and wanted to request a change of roles for the Order. Everyone agreed that this would be the best course of action, and could only hope that Albus would come to the same conclusion.
Hermione now found herself looking around the grounds once more, trying to ground herself and enter her calm mind before leaving for a trip into London, and the unknown. She hadn't spent much time in public places since the initial attack, and now after a second one her nerves were more than a little frayed. The bumble of people, seeing any PDA, hearing any catcalls… even being in a confined space or being too close to a man that she wasn't familiar with, any of those things could be either perfectly fine or push her into a state of extreme anxiety. Hermione wasn't afraid of being attacked - she had Professor Snape with her - but she was afraid of the uncertainty of it all.
She'd have to get over it. She couldn't spy only in large spaces with small numbers of people, after all.
"Are you alright, Hermione?" Professor Snape asked, and she nodded.
"Yes, I'm perfectly alright," she lied.
He snorted. "If you want to mislead someone, you need to try a heck of a lot harder than that."
She simply scowled, and turned away from him. "I take it we are apparating?"
He nodded. "Yes. We will be going by sidealong, to the outside of a building. You will have a moment or two to adjust to the surroundings, and then I expect you to blend in as if you've been there a thousand times before. Understand?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good."
He grasped her by the shoulder, and a sickening tightness enveloped the pair for only a second, and then Hermione was released to stand on the pavement. Severus held a hand out, anticipating her falling over or becoming nauseous. She simply smiled at him, and shook her head.
"I spent time on the run, Professor. I am well acquainted with apparition."
"Of course."
She looked around the bustling street, feeling incredibly out of place. She had known to dress as a Muggle, however she appeared rather underdressed. The street was busy, as only London can be, with women in smart dresses and high heels, and men in business suits. A few pedestrians seemed to be dressed 'casually', however it was the definition of casual that might belong to a pureblood witch. Casual, but costing more than a month's salary. Not a hair was out of place, everyone had perfect posture, and the only people that Hermione could identify with were the taxi drivers. They stood in front of a very large, grandiose building with a red brick exterior and large wooden doors. An elegant yet large sign read 'The Landmark Hotel', and Hermione frowned as she tried to place it in her mind.
"Where are we?" she asked.
"The Landmark Hotel," her Professor responded. "In Marylebone. I shall put a notice-me-not on us around the corner in order for us to change our appearances. Then, I expect you to follow my lead without giving us away."
"Alright," Hermione said, trying to appear more confident than she truly felt. She had experienced a good upbringing from her parents, but she could no longer hide behind her mother and father in awkward situations. She would need to behave here as a woman, and simple politeness would not be able to replace elegance.
A mere moment later, and she stood beside Severus at the corner of the building.
"30 seconds," he told her. "That's all we have. Starting now."
Hermione tried to focus on the appearance of the women that she had just seen outside, hoping that they had the appearance of the Landmark's clientele. She didn't know the purpose that Severus would give for their visit, and so she decided quickly to hedge her bets.
A simple, knee-length peplum dress in pale blue with a boatneck and slightly puffy sleeves. She added heels of a complementary blue - not a complete match, as she didn't want the outfit to look too deliberate or gaudy. Her hair was smoothed into a blond shoulder length style that was left down but carefully arranged into impeccably groomed waves. Her eyes were an intriguing grey, and her makeup subtle. A mid-thigh beige trench coat was left unbuttoned and unbuckled, and a black bag and simple gold necklace completed the look. She hoped that it could pass for casual if needed, or business-like if that were the occasion.
She turned to Professor Snape, who looked impressed. In place of his jeans and long black coat, he was now wearing a tailored grey suit with a pink shirt, minus the tie. His hair was short and brown, his nose much smaller but still prominent. His eyes were now a bright blue, and he carried a small wheeled suitcase. He nodded at her, and held out his arm, crooked at the elbow. Hermione smiled, and tucked her hand in, walking in pace as they approached the entrance to the building. She stopped herself from biting her lip, not wanting to ruin the pink lipstick.
They entered a reception area lit with dimmed spotlighting and chandeliers, and approached the long mahogany desk.
"Good afternoon," Severus said smoothly as he immediately commanded the attention of a receptionist. "Mr and Mrs Reeves."
Hermione schooled her expression into one of calm.
Mr and Mrs.
Seriously?
She made sure her left hand was hidden by her bag, and concentrated on making a simple gold band appear on her ring finger, along with a another gold band holding a diamond of good size and clarity. Snape's lips twitched up, and Hermione took that as a sign of approval.
They were shown to their room by the impeccably professional man, who explained the facilities as he walked them. Hermione nodded in the right moments, and laughed delicately at the couple of rather not-funny jokes that were expressed. When Severus held the door for her to enter first, she put on a dazzling smile and kissed him on the cheek.
Had that been too much? She blushed pink, and turned to look at her surroundings.
"Thank you, darling."
The bed was large, decorated with throw pillows and flanked with ornate lamps on bedside tables. She nodded her approval.
"Excellent," she proclaimed, keeping her expression schooled in a restrained delight.
"It meets your approval then, dear?" Severus asked her warmly, and Hermione found herself very much intrigued by the lopsided smile he passed her way as he lifted her hand to his lips.
"Sir, Madam. The winter garden area is on the ground floor, and I am also able to direct you to other dining areas if you so wish. Would you like any assistance at this moment?"
"No, thank you." Hermione replied. "Thank you, Evan."
He blushed, and quietly excused himself.
"So," Severus said as he plonked himself onto the bed. "How do you think you are doing so far?"
Hermione frowned. "I think I'm doing reasonably well, am I not? I don't think I've made a faux pas at least…"
"You are indeed, doing well," he assured her. "We will be dining here, of course, and then apparating to a different establishment. I shall perform a confundus charm on the way out, and the staff will have no idea that we were here at all."
Hermione nodded. "Then why book the room?"
"To see your response."
"Alright." She took a calming breath. "I shall use the restroom. Then shall we emerge for dinner?"
"What do you think is best?" he asked.
What would be best? She tried to puzzle out the scenario, and the roles that they were playing. "Should we wait?" she asked. "If we are unpacking and making ourselves comfortable, we may wish to wait a little longer."
He nodded. "I'll get comfortable, then."
He turned on the television, and Hermione went into the lavish bathroom. It smelled wonderful, and Hermione couldn't help but wish they were indeed staying there longer. The marble decor and large bathtub looked rather appealing, after all. She washed her hands, and returned to the bedroom. Severus had removed his shoes, and her coat and the suitcase had been banished. While the majority of her outfit had been transfigured, her coat and accessories had instead been conjured.
She tied her hair back into a ponytail and seated herself into one of the armchairs. Severus was rolling his eyes at bargain hunt, and something about the situation was very domestic and soothing. She wasn't sure why - they spent time alone in her chambers all the time.
Severus suddenly snorted. "Can't they recognise a cheap knock-off when they see one?"
Roughly 2 hours later they had eaten a lavish meal, taking small bites and sipping at wine as they observed the other diners. Severus had asked her questions to test her observational skills, of which Hermione did not possess as much as she would have expected of herself. Her companion noticed even the smallest details without appearing to take his eyes off of her at all.
The next place he transported her to was very, very different indeed. A street full of graffiti, a dozen drunks either standing outside the run-down pub or otherwise seated on the pavement itself and more than one teenager yelling expletives as some form of friendly name for each other. She felt even more out of place here than she had at the Hotel in Marylebone, and that was certainly saying something. The people around her were all male, poorly dressed and clearly sloshed. Smoke surrounded her, and Hermione wrinkled her nose in distaste.
Severus quickly pulled her into a dark alley.
"30 seconds," he reminded her. "Really consider the kind of people that would be in this place."
She frowned. Drunks? Chavs? What exactly did he mean?
She didn't have time to dwell on it, however. She simply decided to remove all traces of her previous persona and dress as trashy as possible. Her hair was long now, a definitely box-dyed black, and pulled up into the rather messy hairspray laden bouffant of a wanna-be pinup. She wore a scarlet mini dress that left little to the imagination, and showed off rather a lot of cleavage. She had made her breasts quite a lot larger, and her shoes black and sparkly. She held no bag, but just a jewelled clutch. No wedding ring was on her finger, and her necklace was now a cheap layered design with turquoise beads. Black eyeliner laid on thick, and bright red lipstick. Her face was contoured in a way that would make Lavender Brown happy, and she bore false eyelashes. Perfect.
Severus had long hair once again, pulled into a ponytail, and wore a brown leather jacket over a black band t-shirt that looked a little worse for wear. He had baggy jeans on, and comfortable trainers. A motorcycle helmet was held under one arm, and he held a packet of tobacco and a lighter in the other.
"Are you going to smoke?" she asked him in disapproval.
"Yes. And so are you."
Hermione snorted. "You cannot be serious. I've never smoked in my life."
"You're gonna have to learn quick, then," he announced. "Come on."
He led a rather shell-shocked Hermione back towards the frankly seedy looking pub and gave a nod to the men outside. They nodded back, and Hermione felt incredibly uncomfortable with their stares. They openly appraised her appearance, a couple of them even smirking behind pint glasses and fags.
Severus leant against the wall and and bent one leg up to rest his foot against the brick. He pulled papers from the bag of baccy and rolled a cigarette expertly, drawing Hermione's eyes to his lips as he licked it sealed.
Why would she need to smoke? Surely his smoking was enough?
"You want one, Mel?" he asked, holding one out to her. She shot him a rather intense glare as she took it, imitating the way that he held it between his lips.
"Thanks, sugar." She replied sweetly.
And then he flicked his zippo, and she groaned internally.
Shit shit shit.
Shit.
She'd never smoked before, and yet he expected her to fit in here? Seriously? He leaned in close and whispered into her ear.
"You'll need to inhale in order for it to light."
She did… and it tasted fucking awful. It tasted exactly as it smelled, and Hermione had never found the smell intriguing in the slightest. Humour reigned in Snape's eyes as he lit his own and took a long drag. For him, it seemed natural. He inhaled exhaled as if he'd been doing it his whole life, reaching out to play with her hair as she attempted to do the same.
Don't choke, don't choke, don't choke.
Around halfway through, the coughs began to explode and she struggled to contain them, holding a hand to her mouth. A man off to the side started laughing, and Hermione shot him a rather irritated look.
"First time, love?"
Before she could respond, Severus pushed himself off the wall and pulled her in close. "First of many tonight, I'd wager." He shot the man a wink, and the others around him jeered and cheered in response.
Before she could say anything, he pulled into the dark pub.
The inside met expectations.
Mostly full of men, with women scattered around on the arm of some asshole. One couple was making out on a long, worn cushioned bench, clearly in view, while another man had his hand on his partner's breast as he spoke to a friend.
Classy. Very classy.
Hermione found herself wishing very much that she were playing Mrs Reeves instead of 'Mel', the woman that would enjoy entering an establishment such as this. Severus led her over to the bar and ordered for her, making not-so-subtle misogynistic comments to the guy behind the bar, and eyeing up the barmaid clearing up glasses further down.
He was certainly a far cry from the gentleman in the Marylebone hotel.
Hermione forced her expression into one of happiness and giddy excitement, taking a cue from the other ladies (if they could be called ladies) and pressing a hand onto Snape's chest as she leaned into him.
Wondering how best to challenge his decision of bringing her here. She wasn't strongly acquainted with many purebloods, but the ones she had met did NOT look like they'd spend any time in this shithole.
They went leisurely into an even darker corner of the grubby place and seated themselves down at a sticky table for two. Hermione regretted her clothing choice immediately.
"I swear my thighs are now glued to this chair," she hissed. "How this place passed inspection is beyond me."
Severus snorted. "What makes you think they've been inspected?"
"Well it could fucking do with one," she mumbled.
"I don't disagree with you there."
Hermione sighed and took a large gulp of Guinness. "So how long are we going to be here?"
Severus shrugged. "A couple more hours at least. We are going to have a couple of drinks, rent a room and then return to Hogwarts."
A couple of hours. Hermione could manage a couple of hours. Nethertheless, she crinkled her nose.
"This place rents rooms?"
"Yes. By the hour if needed."
By the hour. How very distasteful.
"Come on, Mel. Where is my fun-loving friend?" Snape teased.
"Dead. Along with many of this pub's patrons, I'd assume. Honestly, it's a health hazard."
"Get in character."
Hermione tried to do it, pushing aside the obvious death traps in the place and sitting up more to push her ample chest forward. She pulled her elbows in close to further emphasize her cleavage, and tossed her hair and she looked around from time to time, pretending to be flattered by the leery stares.
After three drinks, Severus reached for her hand and pulled her to her feet. She was rather tipsy, and glad for his hand as she balanced herself on her rather ridiculous shoes. It didn't take any acting whatsoever to hang onto him as they wandered back over the bar, taking a key from the barmaid who gave Hermione a saucy wink and told her to 'have a good time'.
Excellent.
Hermione sighed in relief as the door shut behind them. "Excellent-" she began, but Severus held a finger up to his lips.
"Not now," he whispered. "I would bet my bookshelf that someone is listening to the goings on in here."
"So what?" she whispered back.
Severus replied in the form of thudding his body against the closed door and running his fingernails over the damaged wood. "Ughhhhh," he groaned throatily, pushing himself hard against the door again. Then, he whirled and made his way over to the bed, lifting an eyebrow at his companion.
Did he honestly expect her to join in this charade? She had no idea how she even would behave… she didn't exactly have a great deal of experience in the matter.
The beer guided her. She jumped loudly onto the bed and let out a squeak of surprise at the flat mattress and noisy bed springs. Snape gave her a thumbs up and tossed himself onto the bed as well, bouncing up and down a few times for good measure.
"Ah!" Hermione yelped, feeling the bed rock beneath her in response. Honestly, it was amazing that the bed still stood at all. She certainly didn't want to look under the sheets.
"Good," he whispered. "Keep making that noise."
A couple of minutes later, Hermione was trying to hold back giggles as they competitively out-moaned each other, eventually feeling their throats go horse and their eyes tear up with amusement. After a particularly loud moan and grunt, Severus put a hand onto her knee to stop her movements, and they panted as they caught their breath.
Severus then ran a hand through his hair, pulling several strands loose from the ponytail. He undid the button on his jeans, and motioned for Hermione to muss herself up, too.
Hermione shook a hand through her hair, bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, lifted her breasts higher in the dress (as if they'd been hurriedly put back in place) and licked a finger to smudge her eyeliner.
Snape nodded and pointed his wand at the bed, messing up the sheets and leaving a wet patch in the centre.
Hermione's embarrassment was second only to the thought that this might be the only clean the bed had in awhile. Nice.
She would definitely need a shower back at Hogwarts.