Disclaimer: I own neither the series nor the characters. This was heavily based on バレンタインデーとは好きな人の乳首にチョコを押し付ける日の事です by エルファバ.

INVESTIGATION TIME

Side: Hajime

To solve the case, Hajime went to the person he knew was an expert on threats. Usually, Fuyuhiko would be chilling in the classroom but today the future Yakuza head was lounging in the cafeteria.

"Oy, Kuzuryuu."

"What?"

Fuyuhiko looked up from his seat to give him the usual greeting, a glare. This would normally be intimidating but it was softened by the thing hanging from his mouth. HInata pointed at it.

"What's that?"

"This?" Fuyuhiko emphapized his last word by swallowing the last of it into his mouth. "It's Karinto."

"Huh." Karinto, basically fried batter. The one Fuyuhiko had been eating was brown meaning it was chocolate flavored too. "Can I have one?"

"Sorry but that was the last one." The Yakuza gestured to the empty box in front o fhim. "It was so deliscious that I had to eat all of it."

"Was it really that good?"

"It was awesome. It's the number one Karinto I've ever had." smirked Fuyuyhiko. "And trust me, Iv'e had plenty."

"Now, you're just making me want to try it. Did you buy it at the store?"

"I don't know."

Hajime blinked at the non-answer. "What do you mean by that? Didn't you buy it?"

Fuyuyhiko crossed his arms and looked down, thinking. "Well, when I got up this morning, I found it next to my bed. It was all wrapped up and everyhting."

"Wha..." Hajime's eyes widened. "Did you know who put it."

"Nope." Fuyuhiko shook his head. "But I'd like to thank the person at least. It made my day."

If anthing, Hajime would have liked to point out that waking up and finding a mysterious package next to him should be regarded with more caution but perhaps the blonde knew that already. However, there were more pressing matter to attend to.

"Hold on. There's something I need to tell you then."

Hajime then explained the crrent case to the Fuyuyhiko ho just listened silently. At the end, the Yakuza head was rubbing his chin in thought.

"I can't beleive that kind of thing was happening."

"Maybe, the Karinto is related to the incident." pointed out Hinata.

"No way!" Fuyuyhiko slammed his hands as he stood up in disbelief. "Damn it! To think I'm getting tangled up in this sort of thing."

"Well, it's not like you were harmed." Compared to the gacha lovers club, Fuyuhiko got away scot free. Still, that didn't dissuade Fuyuhiko.

"I was being too negligent while I was sleeping. Who know swhat would have happened if I had woken up late!" Fuyuhiko then turned his head accross the cafeteria as he started to raise his voice. "Who the hell did this! Come on out, you bastard! Also, tell me the shop where you bought these too! Let me thank you, damn it!"

"Calm down, Kuzuryuu." Hajime could already feel the stares turning their way. "Getting you riled up may be what the culprit wants in the first place."

"..fine." Huffing, the blodne sat back down. Hajime followed, sitting accross him.

"Can you tell me the circumstacnes on when the Karinto was placed? Even you just noticed it in the morning, but maybe it was already there last night?"

"No way." Fuyuyhiko scoffed. "If it was already there at night, I would have noticed. I'm sure it wasn't there as I normally have to check."

"So that means they must have put it at your bedside while you were sleeping. While your room was locked, correct?"

"Yep." There was only one other person who had the key to his room besides the dorm manager and she was the one who made sure everything was safe anyways.

"Wait a second...you said it was wrapped up, right?"

Fuyuhiko gestured to the box between them. "They were in this box. It was actually wrapped pretty carefully. A perfect finish without so much a wrinkle."

"Was there a ribbon attached?"

"Ribbon?" Fuyuhiko's eyebrows creased as he tried to remember the details. "Yeah, there was a big red one on the top. Why? You have an idea?"

Hajime nodded, his face serious. "Kuzuryuu, I think I now know the identity of the criminal. It seems we're on different cases but I at least know the one for yours."

"Seriously?! Then who the hell is it?"

Hajime didn't even flinch at the blonde's yells. "Don't you get it? A box with a ribbon that was placed on your bedside while you were sleeping and had access to your room. This could have been only one person."

"...I can't be."

"There's no mistake."

There was silence as the two boys stared into each other's eyes as realization sunk in. Fuyuhiko swallowed, trying to hide the nervousness growing in him before he spoke once more.

"Santa-san?"

"Santa-san."

At Hajime's confirmation, Fuyuhiko leaned back into his chair. His eyes were wide as he stared at the ceiling in disbelief.

"I can't beleive it...that this was a gift from Santa."

"Well, you have been nice recently."

The Ultimate Yakuza bashfully averted his gaze even if a cheeky smile grew on his face. "Well, you know me. I've been watering the flower beds every day even. Haven't forgotten even once."

"Impressive."

"Heh, I try."

Elsewhere, a commotion was taking place.

"Pekoyama-san, calm down!"

"Let go! Please let me continue." The silver-haired girl tried to move her arms in vain against the combined might of two of her classmates. Mikan and Chiaki were surprisingly strong in their own right as they fought against the arm strength of the Ultimate Swordswoman.

"Sepukku is useless!" cried Mikan as she and Chiaki were doing their best to prevent Peko from stabbing herself with her sword.

"My feelings for Bocchan lost to Santa! I..I...Gah!"

Mahiru face palmed, hoping Chiaki and Mikan would be enough to dissuade the girl. "Don't only kids believe in Santa?"

"Looking at the baby gangsta, I can believe that." pointed out Hiyoko. "But even Hinata-onii?!"

"But I love a pure Hajime as well!" Ibuki gave a thumbs up which helped no one really.

As the girls all tried to prevent Peko from ending herself in shame, they didn't notice that Hajime and Fuyuhiko had stood up and looked to be leaving.

"You know, Hajime, I need to send a thank you letter to Santa. Want to help me write one out?"

"Then let's first buy some envelopes and stationaries."

LINE

Side: Makoto

Makoto had spent the last hour walking around, looking for a possible clue. Normally, he'd start an investigation by asking around but for some reason everyone was asking weird. Boys were more guarded if not outright hostile to other males. Girls also looked to be tense and yet had an air of unapprochability.

They almost looked scared of him which was crazy.

The worst part was that he hadn't been able to find any of his classmates so far! He was sure Kirigiri or Ikusaba would know a thing or two about hunting people down. Someone normal like him didn't really have a clue on what to do next.

He sighed to himself as he made his way down another corridor. He was getting tired of walking around, looking for nothing. Perhaps, he should get a snack in the cafeteria.

As painful as it had been, Makoto would be lying if he said all that chocolate didn't put him in a mood for some of it.

"Man, I wish I had some sweets"

No sooner did say that to himself when he bumped into someone.

"Naegi-san!"

For once, the luckster had to look down to who he was talking too.

"Oh, Umesawa-san?"

"It's good that I found you immediately." his fellwo brunette smiled back up at him. "Good morning, Naegi-san."

"Yeah, good morning to you, too." Makoto smiled back, his mood brightening on finally meeting someone he knew. "Did you need something from me? I thought our meeting was still later in the week?"

He, of course, was talking about the hoodie buddy meetings they went to together with Chiaki.

"Ah, well." Makoto waited paitiently as the short girl shuffled in place. She clutched the bag hianging by her side tightly with one hand as the other reached inside. "There was something I wanted to pass...to Naegi-san..."

The girl tried to meet his gaze when she said his name but failed as she turned away with a red face.

Cute.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. Please continue."

Aiko fiddled with the hood of her jacket for a moment before continuing. "Um, yeah. Hey, today...is a special day, right?"

Makoto blinked. Special day? Did he forget his birthday again?

Not noticing the confusion on his face as she couldn't meet it, the girl continued. "Well, I thought I wanted to thank Naegi-san who has always been helping me."

"It's no big deal." Literally, she also helped him not feel like such a shorty. It was win-win when they'd hang out.

"I'm not confident in my abilities but I put a lot of thought and hard work in making this...so pleace accept it!"

A pink heart-shaped package was shoved onto Makoto's chest. He accepted it with both hands and took a quick peek inside the box.

"Is this...chocolate?"

"Y-yeah...It's handmade." Aiko nodded, covering her face with her bag so only her eyes were peeking out.

Makoto turned back to the chocolates in his hand. Could the student council member actually be the criminal he was looking for?

"I wanted you to eat some deliscious chocolates, Naegi-san!" She said this as she squeezed her bag tighter against her chest. "I worked hard making it so I hope you enjoy it."

Makoto then plucked out a piece from the box, a brown globe striped with white and pink. More cautious then he'd have liked, he gave one last glance to the girl.

"Yeah! Eat it!"

The luckster shook his head. How can an angel be a culplrit anyways? He then popped the chocolate into his mouth.

His eyes opened wide

"Umesawa-san!"

"Eh?" The girl dropped her bag in surprise when the the boy's hands suddenly landed on both of her shoulders.

"Let's get married."

"Ehhhh!?"

Nearby...

"..." Giri. Giri. Giri. Giri.

"Kirigiri-san can you please stop your teeth grinding?" complained Celes. She wasn't even that close to the detective but the detective seemed intent on rubbing out her teeth with how loud it was.

"Then you should stop your nervous shaking." shot back Aoi who was the one closest to Celes where her shakes was causing her wig to constantly hit the swimmer's face.

Nearby, Maizono was crouched down pouting. "Mou, if I had handed it to Naegi-kun, I'd be the one being proposed to..."

Mukuro nodded next to her, silent and sullen.

Behind the five, a trail of destrution made up of fainted bodies and ruined packaging laid. All the girls who hadn't heeded their earlier warnings had been put down before they could get close to the Luckster.

It was unfortuante that one had slipped past.

Kyoko kicked a nearby wall, barely missing the head of another girl, one who thought she could give Naegi-kun chocolates just because he had helped her.

She sighed.

Now, it was too late. Someone had taken his first time (getting chocolates that year). The thought made her furious.

What a disappointment.

Well, no matter. It was just another bump on her way to Naegi-kun's heart. That was what she got for relying on beginners in keeping other girls away from Naegi-kun. Ikusaba and Maizono were alright and Ludenburg had potential but Asahina needed some work.

The detective wiped off the red liquid that had stuck to her gloves. Didn't these girls know Naegi-kun wasn't fond of strawberry in his chocolate? Amateurs.

Who the hell was Umesawa Aiko anyways?

LINE

Side: Shuichi

Shuichi walked the dorm room corridors. In a case like this, he knew he could use all the help he could get. That was why he knew he needed to get his partner on the case with him.

However, he had been looking for the past hour but he couldn't find Kaito. The astraunaut wasn't even picking up his phone. He had looked in his friends usual hang-outs and yet nothing.

As a last resort, he decided to try Kaito's room again. He had tried earlier but there was no responses to his knocking.

Shuichi prepared to raise his hand when he decided to try something. His hand reached for the know and twisted.

"It's open?"

Shuichi pushed the door open slowly. The lights were on but there was no response. Immediately, he couldn't spot his friend. However, that was when he then noticed that the bundle of blankets he had spotted earlier was actually shaking.

"Momota-kun?"

The pile stilled and turned to reveal the face of his friend. Kaito had seen better days. His face was pale and his teeth were chattering.

"Shuichi?"

Shuichi nodded, making sure to approach him slowly. "Yeah. Why are you wrapped up like that? did you catch a cold?"

The boy just looked at him blankly and for a moment Shuichi thought he had lost his best friend. Then, Kaito's eyes started to focus, looking at Shuichi as if he was contemplating if he was real or not.

Shuichi swallowed. "Did anything happen? If it's hard to say..."

"No. I mean." Kaito paused to glance to his sides. Shuichi followed him and saw nothing. "How do I say this..."

The detective waited with bated breath as the astronaut seemed to be looking for an answer. Finally, with a shudder, Kaito whispered.

"Bro...I...I think I might have been cursed."

"...what?"

"I mean, just look at this thing."

Kaito then revealed a bundle of cloth he had been keeping with him inside his blanket. Shuichi accepted it with slightly trembling hands, slowly unwrapping it to find.

"Gah!"

Shuichi recoiled in surprise. The box flew out of his hands but Kaito caught it.

"Careful, man! You don't want to drop this. Who knows what would happen!" Kaito then placed it on the table.

'It' being a box of chocolates.

Now, there would normally be nothing wrong with a box of chocolates however, even at first glance, there was something wrong about it. A deep dark pitch black aura could be seen leaking from the box.

"What...what is that thing?" Shuichi desperately rubbed his hands on his uniform, hoping that it wasn't contagious.

"I don't know." Kaito shook his head, clearly lost. "When I woke up and prepared to head out to breakfast, I find it outside my door. What did you think I did next?"

"Well, if it was me, I'd call the police." admitted Shuichi. One shouldn't trust suspiscious things after all. Then again, he wasn't Kaito. "But I'm sure you brought it in to check it out, right?"

His friend nodded, his body shivering. "You know me. Of course, I needed to check it out! But... when I opened the box...this hideous chocolate..."

Kaito grabbed his head, squatting down. His head shook in worry. "What am I going to do? I mean, am I going to die? Will I be cursed or killed? I...I still need to go to space! I can't die here! Shuichi...Please help me!"

Shuichi stared back, wide-eyed. He had never seen his friend so desperate. Then again, he had never seen anything with such a dark aura.

The closest was that one time he and Kirigiri had given Naegi a tour of the Detective Library and some big breasted European girl had offered to give his friend a chance to be her assistant over the "flat jap washboard" and show him how a real detective got down and dirty.

Shuichi had even liked that girl, with her blonde hair and large...reserves of knowledge.

But this was another level than that.

It was as if someone who only knew how to kill, murder, poison, and assassinate people were to put all their effort into making a chocolate. He could only guess what kind of thoughts and feelings were there as this person made such a thing.

Still, he couldn't let his partner down, so Shuichi tried to think of something.

"Well, we can bring it to Aisaka-san. She stays at a nearby shrine so we could ask her to purify it for us." suggested Shuichi. If anyone could do the job it would be the Ultimate Miko. "Honestly, just looking at that thing makes my chest heavy. We can't do this on our own."

"That's right! You really are worthy of being my sidekick." Kaito's face lit-up at Shuichi's words. His usual grin was growing again. "Let's go find her then! The faster we get rid of this thing, the better."

"Right!"

The two ran out of the room in a rush, with the cursed bundle carefully rewrapped. They were moving in suhc a hurry that they hadn't noticed the sharp knives that had embed themselves into where their feet had been moments before.

The two really should thank Kaede as she and Tenko were holding back Maki from making the two chopped liver.

"Wait a moment, Harukawa-san! Knives are no good!"

"Please release me." Maki growled, as she tried to struggle out of their grasp. She was right about to but Tenko tagged in for Kaede and got her in a more stable hold.

Himiko glanced from the knives on the floor and back to Maki who somehow had a knife in her hand. "What are you going to do with that knife?"

"I'm killing Saihara and Momota."

"Please calm down, Harukawa-san." Kirumi pulled out the knives from the floor and, with her handkerchief, started to polish them. "There's no need to be upset.

"Noisy! Leave me alone! Do you want to be killed?" With an unexpected headbutt, Maki freed herself from Tenko's grasp. "If you want to laugh, then laugh. This is the result of someone like me making chocolate. It's miserable, isn't it?"

Tenko wanted to recapture the girl but instead held back due to her words. "Harukawa-san..."

It seemed like Maki was done fighting as she bowed her head and twisted her long ponytails with her hands.

"Really...Why didn't it work...even though I tried really hard..."

"Well, whatcha gonna do about it." shurgged Miu. "You can't be depressed over one or two failures."

"That's right!" Angie clapped. "Atua-sama actually liked your chocolate! He wouldn't have minded it as an offering.

"Anyways, you shouldn't give up so easily." Kaede placed a hand on Maki's shoudler in comfort. "Let's keep trying!"

Maki didn't meet her gaze but did nod in acknowledgement.

"To do it again...even though I already put my pee in the first one."

"You too?!"

LINE

AN: So the biggest change here was that, originally, Naegi met Fujisaki and the humor came from Fujisaki being a boy yet acting girly and Naegiwanting to marry him blah blah. And because I didn't want to touch that can of worms, I decided to change it to a possible literal who.

I was tempted to use a Rebirth character but decided against it. I did make add a small nod at least.