Yang Reacts to Death Battle: Yang vs Tifa!

A/N: Welcome, one and all, to the latest insane chapter of Weiss Reacts! Now, we may finally abandon the subject of this Winter/Jaune/Pyrrha love triangle before it becomes a plot tumour and start focusing on what you all REALLY came here for; Yang acting like an absolute prat and getting happy when she beats fellow busty brawler Tifa Lockhart.

Anyway, lads and ladies, we may as well get on with it! Not much else to say except onwards!

DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Winter would be in the game as DLC.

Death Battle belongs to ScrewAttack.

All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.

Minor spoilers, but let's be honest, we all watched that one if only for Yang being in it. Because #YangBestTeamMember (I'm actually more of a Blake fan, so eh).

"…..Ruby, do you have any jacks?"
"Go fish." The reaper smiled brightly at her. Weiss grumbled irritably, diving into the rather sparse pile of cards remaining. She examined the 'books' Blake had laid in front of her; she had most of the numbered suits and a full set of kings. The heiress then groaned as she realised there were no jacks in the pile. Weiss narrowed her eyes.

"Just my luck."

Suddenly, Yang shoved the dorm door open, a harassed expression on her face and a leather satchel at her side, a new bag she'd bought recently for her workplace. She sighed, gaining everyone's attention. Weiss raised an eyebrow.

"….Yang, you seem irritated."

"The worst customers ever." The brawler complained, setting down on her bed and lying backwards, groaning. "The worst. They groaned like a bunch of bi-"
"Yang."
"…..bunch of really whiny people." Yang rolled her eyes. "Dust, Weiss, can't I at least curse when I'm angry?"
"You're not setting a good example for your little sister, for someone who prides themselves on being an 'awesome big sister'."

"Oh, like you'd know what that's like."

Weiss rolled her eyes, but sighed, admitting defeat. "…..where do you even work, anyway? Can't you just glare at them and make them not treat you like trash?"
"Well, they're not Grimm. Or bad guys. I can't just break their knees." Yang replied. "…huh. I think I heard the fans laughing for some reason."
"…if I knew what you were talking about, I might feel like smacking you around the back of the head for that." The heiress sighed. "Well, we might as well do something to make you stop whining."

Blake raised her hand helpfully. "Go Fish-"
Weiss turned to her suddenly. "No."

"…..why, is it because you're losing?" Ruby inquired innocently, without a hint of malice. Weiss stared at her, blushing in embarrassment.

"I-I was not losing!"
"You have one full suit. You were losing."
"Can we not dwell on the past?" The heiress snapped hastily. "We should watch that one video Ren sent me the link to, anyway."
"Oh?" Yang raised an eyebrow. "What video?"
"Some Death Battle thing. That one fanfic we read once may have been of that, too. The one with all of us fighting each other."
"….oh, Death Battle?" The brawler raised an eyebrow. "Which one? Goku vs Superman? Pokémon vs Digimon? Please tell me it isn't Gaara vs Toph, I have a feeling the fans will kill us if we watch it-"
"It's actually one with you and some girl called Tifa."

Yang froze, staring at her for a moment, before nodding with an unusually happy smirk. "Oh. Oh. That one."

Blake raised her eyebrow. "What, as in, Tifa Lockhart? As in, the one from Final Fantasy?"
"…apparently so."

The catgirl shrugged. "Sure. I'm game. That sounds interesting."

"…I can feel her ego growing." Weiss grumbled. "I think that was a terrible idea, suggesting it to her. Can we play more Go Fish-"
"Nope, turn it on, we're watching it!" Yang snapped. "We're watching it right now! Right now!"

Blake tilted her head. "You seem a little too eager to watch it."
"It's a video. Of me. I want to watch it right now." Yang insisted. "Come ooooonnn, pleaaaase? Let me have this, I had to deal with douche-y customers all daaaaaaay!"

"She's not gonna stop unless you let her, you know." Ruby reminded Weiss. The heiress gritted her teeth irritably.

'Of the most intolerable things in this world, I have to do the one which grates me most of all.'

"….grrgghh….just this once, I will allow you to indulge your ego. Just. This. Once." Weiss grumbled, clearly struggling to get the words out. "And if you will not shut up after this, I will freeze you from the chest down."
"Yaaaaaay!" Yang cheered happily. "Ego-stroking! My favourite time of the day!"

"…that seems to be all day for you." Weiss retorted drily.

"Because I'm the most awesome person on this team and I know it~"
"…..just shut up and turn the stupid computer on. Ruby, Blake, come with me, we're grabbing snacks."

Ruby nodded, saluting Weiss as if she was a superior military officer. "Aye aye, captain! I call all the cookie snacks!"
"Nobody but you has the cookie snacks, Ruby." Blake reminded her softly.

"Just saying…." The reaper pouted before heading off behind them.

Minutes later….

"This'll be awesome." Yang sat in her usual chair, shaking with anticipation to start watching the video. Weiss rolled her eyes.

"Narcissist."

"Hey, can't a girl enjoy watching herself kick butt on a DustTube video?" The brawler inquired defensively.

"There's having fun, and there's being you while having fun." Weiss retorted. "Ruby has fun. You have a raging inferiority complex."

"No I don't-"
"Winter." Weiss pointed out calmly.

"…..No I don't!" Yang reiterated. "You know, your sister puts up with a lot more than you think she does. I admire for that."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Weiss raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Well…you know…..thing-just put the video on already!"

Blake looked over to Ruby, sitting behind the other two. "I'm betting on Tifa. I'll wager you…five Lien."
"Why would I need to bet? Yang's going to win!" Ruby responded cheerfully. Yang leaned back, grinning at Blake. "Ten says I win, Blakey."
"Fifteen says Tifa does. Winner takes all."

"You live dangerously. I like that~" The brawler giggled. "Alright, deal."

Weiss sighed audibly and irritably. "As I said, a complete narcissist. Let's just watch the video already so we can get past Yang's ego issues, alright?"

….

"Damn straight I'm fluent in the language of punching!" Yang cheered. "Take that you boring wannabe bartender brawler person!"

Weiss grumbled. "If she's a bartender, at least her life's going somewhere apart from punching things and enjoying pounding the living daylights out of people."

The brawler raised an eyebrow. "Weiss…..you know you just set yourself up for a classic me response, right?"
"What? How-OH YOU PERVERTED DEVIANT PERVERT" Weiss smacked Yang's arm fiercely, blushing as red as her girlfriend's clothes. "WHY?!"
"I couldn't resist! You just left it hanging there like grapes on a vine!"

"….isn't that woman Raven?" Blake tilted her head. "That woman in the samurai armour? Isn't she, like, your aunt or something?"

"She's my mother in canon." Yang shrugged. "I don't buy it. I'm too good-looking and she's waaaay too serious."
"Dust forbid your mother is actually serious enough to rein you in when you act like that." Weiss rolled her eyes. Ruby chimed in.

"Well….Yin's also good at reining her in….."

"That would've been pretty funny if my mom on the show looked exactly like me but was shy and all shrinking violet-y. Oh well." The brawler shrugged. "AUs are fun, too.

Also….come on! You make almost-perverted jokes about her but not about me?! What does she have that I don't?!"

"Last I played the game, Tifa didn't have an inferiority complex a mile wide about her sexiness." Blake remarked drily. "….hm. First Winter, now Tifa. Who next, one of the Maidens?

Looks pretty balanced. Hot-tempered girl who has damage absorption as her Semblance versus the rather experienced brawler girl who beats up insane super soldiers. To the death."
"I say my chances are pretty good." Yang shrugged. "Let's go!"

"All the puns on their chests….." Weiss muttered miserably. "They get all the puns…stupid."
Yang smirked. "Jealous?"
"My. Chest. Is. ADEQUATE." The heiress snapped, almost instinctively by this point. "How do you even maintain that figure, anyway?! You look like a supermodel's dream! You should look more like a bodybuilder or a barrel than that! At least I look like I fight the way I do!"

"Luck of the draw~"
"Luck of the draw. Hmph." The heiress crossed her arms. Ruby hugged her from behind, surprising her.

"If it means anything….I-I don't care how big your-"
"Ruby! D-don't say another word! I-It really doesn't matter, alright?! Just don't say another word!" The heiress cried, panicked and flustered.

Blake's eyes narrowed. "Yang, you're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"Hey. I'm going to be her big sister for the rest of her life. Hopefully." Yang shrugged. "I'm just getting some enjoyment out of it before I have to be all serious. That's never fun.

Also, I'm in the Antic Order. What did you expect?"
"…..fair point." The catgirl shrugged.

…..

"…you know, I really think I look off in this." Yang frowned, rubbing her chin as she watched herself walk into Tifa's bar when the battle actually commenced. "I really look quite pasty. They got my skin all wrong.

My hair's all…..frizzy. Did they take a picture of me on a bad day or something? I look ill."

Weiss sighed. "Are you going to keep complaining about how bad you look? It's an animation. You're going to look bad."
"Yes, but they had my assets- well, my animation ones, not my best ones- sent over to them, apparently, and I still look stupidly pasty." The brawler complained, pouting. "Ah, well-oh come on, Tifa looks alright! Why can't I look like that?"

"Just watch the stupid video! We came here to stroke your ego! Stroke it!" The heiress snapped.

"…eesh. She's giving as good as she's getting." Ruby noted. "Maybe Blake might win the bet."
Yang frowned. "Oh come on, Rubes. Don't you have any faith in your big sister?"
"Nope!" The reaper responded cheerily. The brawler stared at her in shock.

"R-Ruby!"
"Hey, I'm sorry, but someone who can punch so hard they can bore holes into the earth to bring dolphins from the ocean?!" Ruby's eyes sparkled with awe. "Come on, Blake! This is the kinda stuff you go crazy about! You know, being the drill that pierces the heavens and all that?"

Blake raised a finger. "I don't think that's how that particular Limit Break works, Ruby. And what, are you saying the great and mighty Kamina is somehow comparable to a mere mortal like Tifa? Pssh."

"Hm. Oh, this is my theme." Yang grinned. "This is it, Lockhart, you're going down!" She pumped her fist in the air proudly.
"…..you seem way too into this." Weiss raised an eyebrow. "What, did Tifa throw you out of a bar or something?"

"N-no, why do you ask? Anyway…..ohohohoh….." The brawler rubbed her hands together. "That's right, hit me more. Hit me! Hit-oh, come on. I just noticed I was bleeding.

Dammit, she ruined the hair. And she made me look even more off! Come on!"

"…doesn't that usually mean your Aura's depleted if you're actually wounded that bad?" Ruby raised an eyebrow. "So…um…."
"Who cares? I'm winning!" Yang cheered, before cringing as the final blow landed; Yang snapping her opponent's neck. "Aaaand…..ooooh, that's…..brutal."

Weiss also flinched. "…..that snap was painful. Did they have to be that brutal?"
"It is a Death Battle." Blake pointed out. "Although I'll agree, that kill was brutal.

And dammit, I lost. Tifa should've totally won that, but I lost."

"Heheheheheh….." Yang grinned as she extended her hand happily to receive twenty five Lien. "Never bet against the house.

And eat your heart out, Lockhart, I would totally own you! Yes! This proves it! I win!"

"This is basically fanfiction." Weiss muttered. "You said it many times, fanfiction's pretty unreliable."
"I've never said that."
"You've thought it."
"Well, this one isn't! It's objectively right!" Yang retorted. "And I'm going to go celebrate right now with some snacks!"

With that, the brawler left the room, as Blake quickly tapped something into her scroll, looking something up.

Ruby tilted her head. "Huh. She seemed kinda…overly happy she won that."

"Probably because of this." The catgirl raised her scroll to show Weiss and Ruby.

The heiress' eyes narrowed. "…you're kidding me.

Yang, what kind of idiotic things have you been getting up to while you're not around…."

It was a newspaper article from a year ago, entitled 7th Heaven Bar Blown Out By Brawl.

The article spoke about the titular bar being mucked up by a brawl caused by a misunderstanding between a patron and the bartender; about what, the article decline to elaborate. The patron, pretty clearly, was Yang. It didn't say her name, as she'd fled the scene looking entirely exhausted and beaten, but from the few mentioned actual features- the leather jacket, the long, waist-length blonde hair and the gauntlets- it was pretty clearly the brawler.

The bartender in the fight actually had a picture in the article, after the part talking about her previous experience as a Huntress in another Kingdom. The most interesting thing, however, is that she bore an uncanny resemblance to-

"You're kidding me." Weiss grumbled. "…of course Yang would be that petty."
Blake shook her head. "What did you expect?"

"….huh? How's this Tifa girl in the newspapers?" Ruby tilted her head confusedly. "Did this video make news or something?"

Weiss took the scroll and shut it off.

"No. Yang's just the biggest idiot in the whole world. I'm going to go stuff myself with sorbet while I try to reason why your sister picked a fight with a trained Huntress in the middle of the city over drinks."

Needless to say, she never figured it out.

END

A/N: The ending of this chapter does not reflect my actual opinion on the fight's conclusion. And you will NEVER KNOW.

So, next time, RWBY Reacts to Gurren Lagann, Part 1!

So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, thoughts and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!