WARNING: this is quite a violent chapter and also tackles the subject of self-harm and suicide.
17 - Q&A
It didn't take John long to get restless again and wherever he put the box of chocolates for safe keeping, it felt like they were mocking him. It was like they were calling out to him for his fear of such a simple question which would have such a definitive answer. He tried his best to keep working, in vain, and found himself staring back at the brightly coloured box before he finally sighed and gave up. He picked up the box of chocolates with the intention of heading up to Darwin and insisting that Hannah take a break and at least take them off his hands, that way they wouldn't be distracting him in the lab at least; the idea that he wouldn't be able to think for fear of her opening them without him didn't occur to him.
There was a tension in the foyer and a few more police than usual but he imagined it was just a Valentine's day prank gone wrong, it was the same on most holidays, the hospital was always over-wrought. He took the stairs up to Darwin, he wanted to try and work off some of his nervous energy and it gave him the opportunity to pass through their spot on the stairs where he secretly hoped she would be. When he didn't find her there he was disappointed but kept trudging on up to Darwin, he couldn't put this off any longer.
He wasn't prepared for what he found when he walked onto the ward. There was a barrier formed at the front of the ward, manned with a mixture of police and security and patients were being wheeled out, nobody was allowed inside. Fletch was barking orders for nurses and other doctors to obey and the security were doing their best to keep everybody calm but there was a tension in the air and John's heart went to his throat. His hand unconsciously gripped the chocolates harder but he simultaneously forgot that he was holding them.
He pushed his way to the front of the crowd where Fletch stood in his element but there was a look of fear on his face that betrayed the situation.
'Where's Hannah?' John demanded, not sparing a moment to ask about the situation, he only had one thought on his mind. Fletch paused for a moment, trying to process John's demand before his eyes strayed beyond the barrier. He didn't have to say a word before John got the idea and he didn't spare a moment.
'Call Henrik and Roxanna.' he instructed Fletch as he pushed through the barrier as the last patient was wheeled out. The security shouted to him, demanding he return but he ran through the corridor and turned the corner sharply. Hannah was stood by the nurse's station with her hands clasped together nervously, her eyes wide. She didn't seem to be in any immediate danger but John approached with caution, sticking to the shadows and observing what was happening before daring to interfere.
'Tony, I'm sorry about what happened, I didn't know...' Hannah said slowly and unclasped her hands, stretching them out a little as the blade made a mark on Frieda's neck, a thin line of blood began to trickle down her throat and she grimaced but didn't move.
'You broke me,' Tony replied through gritted teeth. 'There's something wrong, in my head and it's because of you.'
'I didn't do anything to you, you left before I could administer any treatment, remember? But if you just put down the knife then we can see about getting you to a neurologist, they can help you.'
'Someone like your mother?' he asked and Hannah winced as she realised he knew everything about her, 'or your boyfriend? Which one will it be? You wouldn't want to risk offending one or the other would you?' he sneered and she licked her lips hastily.
'Please, Tony, please put down the knife. She didn't do anything to hurt you, let her go. I'll stay with you, right until the end, I'll do whatever you want, but you need to let Frieda go. She's my friend, she's a good person, she's a little scary but she's an amazing doctor and she helps people, we can both help you.'
'Are you trying to get me to empathise with her?' he hissed and Hannah smiled a little.
'I just don't want to see her get hurt, and I know you don't either.' she attempted and Tony gave her a sympathetic look which made her skin go cold.
'I'm sorry to put you in this position again, Hannah. I know that it must be tough after you had to face down your brother just like this.' he said and tears came to Hannah's eyes as that scene mixed with this one. She could see Fredrik stood in front of her again, gun in hand, a pain shot through her shoulder at the memory and she had to stop herself from crying out but she couldn't mask her breathing quickening as she began to devolve into a panic.
'You're right.' she said at last as a tear fell down her cheek, 'but I know that you're like him, there's something wrong, you're sick and you need help. Not only with this but you have something wrong with your heart and we never found out what it was, you need to let her go so I can help you. We can make you better, Tony, but you have to let my friend go.'
He almost seemed to be considering her words and she saw a spark of hope.
'Tony, I don't want to see you die in the way my brother did.' she said quietly and as the knife began to fall away from Frieda's neck, she dared to breathe again. 'If you let me help you then we can sort this out in a better way. Please, let's do this my way.' she inched forward with her hand outstretched and Tony watched her but she didn't dare move any faster.
'Okay...' he whispered and released Frieda who ran suddenly in the direction of the barrier but stopped when she saw John before turning back to Hannah who didn't look after her and only kept her eyes on Tony who was crying but hadn't dropped the knife.
'Thank you, Tony.' she smiled gently and took another step towards him. He looked towards Frieda when he noticed she had stopped and he saw John but didn't let on to Hannah that he was there.
'Hannah...' Frieda said slowly, calling her to go with her.
'It's okay Petrenko, you go.' she replied, her voice was a little firmer now, she felt more confident.
'Call her parents, they'll want to be here.' Tony said, sneering again and Hannah's breath caught in her throat as she realised she wasn't out of the woods yet. John gave Frieda a small nod and she ran off back in the direction of the barrier.
'Okay Tony, you've done the hard bit and I'm really proud of you; but now I need you to drop the knife, please, and come and sit down and I can have a listen to your chest and see what's going on. I promise you, everything's going to be fine.'
'No police.' Tony demanded and Hannah nodded slightly.
'Just me and you, I promise.' she said, she was moving closer again and now she was close enough to reach his hand but she didn't touch him. John inched forwards too to get a better view of the situation, he knew Tony had seen him but he didn't want to aggravate things or throw Hannah off. Tony's eyes darted to John again and this time fell on the box of chocolates in his hand, fearing the worst he panicked and grabbed Hannah suddenly. She shouted in surprise as he spun her and held the knife to her own throat this time, John couldn't help it he rushed forward with a shout as Tony grabbed her as fear took over. It took Hannah a second to register that it was him who was stood in front of them as she felt the knife press against her throat in the way it had pressed against Frieda's.
'You're a liar!' Tony yelled, shaking Hannah but keeping her firmly in his grip.
'John, go, get out of here.' she said and the blade dug a little deeper, slicing into her skin and making her wince.
'Shut up!' Tony screamed and nodded to the box over Hannah's shoulder.
'What's in the box?' he asked and Hannah saw it for the first time and realised with a shuddering thought that she was going to die over a box of chocolates.
'Chocolates, a gift for Hannah.' John explained slowly, Hannah could see he was trying to remain calm but his facade was faltering.
'No, no, no, no it's a wire, a bug for the police, isn't it? You came in here heroically to save your damsel in distress but you're bugged!' Tony yelled and Hannah winced.
'It's just chocolates, I promise.' John said but Tony shook his head.
'Open them.' he instructed and John turned a shade paler. He didn't want to do this there and then, for Hannah to find out about his surprise like this. It wasn't the right time or place, it needed to be done after, he couldn't do it there and then.
'It's just...' he began but Tony responded by digging the blade in a millimetre deeper and the blood flow down Hannah's neck grew slightly worse. She grunted in pain and tears fell down John's cheeks.
'Alright!' he shouted and Hannah blinked a few times to try and clear her own eyes from the tears. He slowly undid the wrapping around the box and lifted off the lid, all of his hard work was undone. He kept the box tilted towards him for a moment, looking down at the silver ring with the small opal gems, her birthstones. He kept the secret for a moment longer before he tilted the box towards Hannah and Tony and time seemed to pause as they saw the ring set in the centre.
'I thought you said it was just chocolates?' Tony asked but his voice wasn't as angry now.
'It was supposed to be a surprise, I was going to ask Hannah to marry me.' John replied so quietly Tony barely caught his words. A new kind of tears came to Hannah's eyes as she looked at him with love in her eyes.
'Do it now.' Tony ordered and John was confused.
'What?' he asked and Tony laughed.
'Ask her to marry you, say it like you mean it, like you planned to.' he instructed and Hannah didn't dare say a word. John looked at Tony for a moment with hatred in his face before turning his gaze filled with fear and love to Hannah. He took the ring out of the box and threw the rest of the chocolates away, discarded as unimportant. He held the ring in his fingers like it was burning hot and cleared his throat before looking back up at Hannah and tried to remember the words he had rehearsed.
'Our lives are so messy, they're so disorganised and chaotic but amongst the chaos I was so glad to find you.' he began and as he looked into her eyes he found it easier and easier to speak. 'You're the world I want to be a part of, and I'm running out of time to be a part of much of anything. I don't know why you fell in love with an old man like me, I don't know why you chose me but I'm so glad you did because the moment you walked into the wet lab on my first day I knew I would love you for the rest of my life. You are the strongest, brightest, most beautiful, most incredible woman I've ever met. You've been through so much and endured it all with a smile. You've battled depression and motherhood and some of the hardest trials of life and you've survived it all. I want to learn from your strength, I don't want to waste any more time because I know where we will always end. I love you, Hannah Hanssen, and I want to spend the rest of my days with you. Please, would you do me the greatest honour, of becoming my wife?' he concluded and Hannah was smiling at him with tears streaming down her cheeks, he knew her answer, she didn't have to speak a word.
Tony was silent for a few moments before he broke the moment before shaking Hannah again.
'Answer him, answer your love before you...' he trailed of but smeared some of the blood on her neck with the flat of his knife. She began to sob and couldn't speak which made Tony angry.
'Answer him!' he yelled and shook her violently.
'Yes!' she exclaimed suddenly and Tony smiled before beckoning John forward with the blade.
'Put the ring on her finger then.' he instructed and John came forward slowly. Hannah gave him her hand, relishing the feel of his fingers against hers, she didn't know how much more she could take. The ring slid neatly onto her finger and that was that, it was over and she was engaged.
John slowly backed up again to put a little distance between himself and them. He didn't want to, he wanted to stick as close to Hannah as he could, the brief contact he had with her hand only reignited his anger at the situation and his feeling of helplessness as he watched the trickle of blood down her throat.
'It's over now.' Tony said bluntly, tears running down his cheeks and a clear lump in his throat. Hannah closed her eyes, unable to keep control of herself as she sobbed, she took a couple of deep breaths and reopened her eyes, she wanted to see John if she was about to die. She wished her parents could be there too, and Danny too, she wished she could see them one last time but it wasn't her fate.
'Please don't do this, don't take her from me.' John whispered, his eyes wide with terror, he was too frightened even to cry.
'We both have to die, don't you see? We were tied together, Hannah Hanssen and I, when she found out who I was and still, she pitied me. I can see it in her eyes, she pities me even now with my hand holding a knife to her throat, her life is in my hands and she still feels sorry for me. I followed you for months, I found out everything about your life, about your depression and how you don't cope even though you have everyone fooled that you're perfectly happy. I've seen you through the window, drinking wine by yourself and looking at that scar on your arm and I know you're considering doing it all over again, trying to end it all. I do too, all the time, I've never had the stomach to do it by myself but with you... we can do it together.' he whispered into her hair, inhaling the scent of her shampoo and she forced herself not to instinctively pull away and incur more damage to her neck.
'Tony, I don't know what you've seen but whatever you have seen you've twisted it. I am happy, or at least I'm doing alright, I don't want to hurt myself. Please... please let me go so I can see my son again.' she begged and he laughed a little, looking back to John but he wasn't looking back, his eyes were fixed on Hannah.
'It's time to say goodbye.' Tony said softly and Hannah shook her head and John refused to give up.
'I love you.' he said to her as his resolve broke and his voice cracked with the overdue tears; she attempted to give him a watery smile in reassurance but it looked more like a reflection of her pain.
'I love you too.' she replied and felt the knife dig a little deeper, she prepared for the worst.
'Tony Langdon!' a loud voice boomed from the corridor and Hannah felt the pressure relieve from her neck as Tony looked towards the blocked off corridor. It hadn't been Fletch's voice or anyone he knew but Hannah recognised the voice of Sergeant Taylor, the man who had been there when Fredrik had launched his attack on the hospital.
The unmistakable shuffling sound of of men moving in unison confirmed her theory and Hannah felt Tony begin to panic behind her. She wondered if this would make things worse, if he would kill her quickly to have time to kill himself but he seemed to freeze.
'No, no I don't want to rush this.' he muttered as his head snapped around, looking for another way. His eyes clocked the opposite corridor and Hannah hoped they had had the sense to seal off the ward completely from all directions.
Before she had time to do anything, Hannah was pushed forward violently and John's arms caught her as she flew forwards. Tony was already sprinting towards the other exit and was disappearing around a corner. John was clasping her tightly to him and she allowed herself a brief second to hold him back before leaning up and kissing him quick. She broke off the kiss and began to sprint after Tony, only just able to shake off John's grasp.
'Hannah!' he shouted but she couldn't respond, she had to catch up to Tony, she couldn't let him escape again after everything she and Danny had been through. Even if the threat to her life wasn't so great she couldn't let him go when he was so sick, he needed urgent help and it was Hannah's responsibility to see that he got it. He was right, she did still pity him despite everything.
John was shocked to a frozen position for a moment before he went to follow but a strong hand clasped his arm and he was held fast.
'Stay right there!' a policeman boomed, obviously mistaking him for someone else. John turned around suddenly and his arm was released as the police realised he wasn't who they thought he was.
'Where did they go?' another policeman asked and John could only point in the direction Hannah had chased after the man who was desperate to kill her. As the police dispersed around him he saw Henrik and Roxanna rushing around the corner and he questioned the effectiveness of the barrier which Fletch had implemented and how many special cases could be made.
'What happened?' Roxanna asked whilst Henrik spoke at the same time, asking: 'Where's Hannah?'
John was shaking from the ordeal, tears pouring down his cheeks and his knees felt weak. Roxanna was the one to notice the shock and led him to a chair gently, motioning for Henrik not to ask any more questions for the moment. Once she had him sat down, Roxanna crouched beside John and took his hand, Henrik's own hands were shaking with worry but he did his best to keep his composure as he waited impatiently for John to tell them what had happened.
'John, where is Hannah?' Roxanna asked calmly and John took some deep breaths as he tried to calm himself.
'She went after him, I don't know why I don't know... he had a knife to her throat, Rox, he wanted to kill her and she ran after him.' he bumbled and Henrik realised who it was and what had come to fruition.
'Tony Langdon came here?' he asked and John nodded.
'Do you have any idea where they went?' Roxanna asked and John shook his head, genuinely bewildered.
'Are you alright? Can you move? We have to find her but maybe you should stay here and get checked out.' Roxanna attempted but she knew that knowing there was something he could do would change John's state in a moment, she wasn't wrong.
'Yes, you're right. Come on, we can split up and cover the hospital quicker.' John said firmly, standing and regaining some of his composure as the thought of a plan filled his head.
Whilst John, Roxanna and Henrik worked out a way to work through the whole hospital to find Hannah and Tony, Hannah herself managed to find Tony without too much thought. She knew where he would be heading and even if she didn't she wasn't too far behind him. When she arrived on the roof, she stopped for a moment at the door.
It was a lovely clear day, the sky was completely blue and the sun was shining down giving the impression that it should be a day for love and beauty, not the terrifying prospect which Hannah now faced. Tony was sitting on the edge of the building, his head drooped as he questioned his own fate.
Hannah took a moment to catch her breath and gently touched her fingers to her new, engagement ring before walking toward Tony slowly.
'You don't want to do this.' she said softly, worried about startling him, but he already knew she was there, he knew she would come.
'I have to, you don't understand. I don't like hurting people, but it's like a compulsion, a need to cause harm.' he replied sadly and she slowly climbed up onto the edge beside him, sitting there but keeping an arm firmly wrapped around the metal railing so she couldn't accidentally fall and have nothing to grab on to.
'I know you don't like to hurt people, I know that you don't understand the feelings you're having but if you just come inside I can help you. There's help available and you know that as well as I do.' she said and he smiled at her.
'You're a good doctor, you know. You're a good person and a good mother too, but I wasn't wrong about what I said in there was I? Even though I feel like that person was someone completely different, like I'm a different man who watched what happened in there.' he said and Hannah believed him.
'This isn't an official diagnosis, but I think you might suffer from something which is commonly known as a disassociate personality disorder. It's not actually called that anymore but it's what most people understand. I don't think you're a fundamentally bad person, Tony, and I don't think you want to hurt me.'
'I don't. But you do want to hurt yourself.' he said and Hannah froze. 'Like I said, I wasn't wrong, whether it was me or not. I've seen you with the kitchen scissors and the carving knife, holding them up to the scar like you're comparing how much more damage you could do. I've seen the fake smiles too, you've got everyone around here fooled but I can see the truth. I might be the only person in the whole world who can see the real you.' he said slowly and Hannah looked down at the small group of people who had noticed them on the ground and were looking up with worried expressions, she wondered how much more time they had in private.
'You're right. I don't cope sometimes, I do consider hurting myself, but I don't want to die. I have too much to live for now, my son, John, my parents. You have to find what you have to live for too, you must have some family, someone you love.' she said and he gave her a half smile.
'There's someone...' he said quietly and realisation hit her. She didn't know how to use this information, her main goal was to help him, to get him to come down from this roof and come inside with her. 'but she doesn't feel the same way about me.'
'Tony, if you ever want to do anything for me, come inside.' she requested but she knew from his expression that he wasn't going to do that. She sighed and paused a moment before letting go of the railing with her left hand and placing her arm through his, holding onto him instead.
'Alright,' she began bluntly as he was surprised at the contact. 'you know I don't want to die and we both know that you don't want to hurt people anymore so here's the deal. You jump and you'll take me down with you, you'll kill us both and if there's any kind of afterlife I will be angry with you forever. I'll make it my personal mission to make your afterlife Hell. Or you can come in with me and together we'll get some help, alright?'
He looked down at her arm through his and a look of sadness spread over his face as he was tasked with this horrible choice. She knew this wasn't fair, that to place any blame on him like this when he was suicidal was ethically questionable and went against her job role as a doctor, but it was the only way she could think of to appeal to him and make him come with her.
'I really wish you hadn't done that?' he said quietly and gently took her arm in his hands. She let him and didn't object, she didn't see the blade he had kept sitting to his left, it was blocked by his body. He traced his fingers along her scar before bringing her arm up to his face and kissing her scar lightly. She didn't react, she knew it was just his twisted mind making connections where there were none, it was her duty as a doctor just to get him off this ledge no matter what it took. As he lowered her arm again her engagement ring caught the sun and twinkled, bringing his attention to it. When he saw it he paused and something of the other Tony sparkled in his eye, but Hannah couldn't see his face.
In one movement, he had clamped her arm to his chest and was holding it tightly whilst his other hand grabbed up the blade and pressed it to her skin. For the first second she was too shocked to react with anything other than a gasp but as the pain of the knife slicing into her flesh registered she screamed out in pain.
….
John met Roxanna and Henrik in the foyer of the hospital, there were groups of people whispering about the current events like it was a source of gossip instead of a life-threatening situation for a young doctor.
'Any luck?' John asked Roxanna and then Henrik and both shook their heads.
'Where could they have gone? Did Langdon drop any hints whatsoever about what he might do?' Roxanna demanded of John who shook his head as he thought.
'He just talked about how he and Hannah were tied together, about how their fates were intertwined or something...' he mumbled as he racked his brains for some kind of idea of where they might be. There was a scream from outside which grabbed their attention and as they headed towards the doors they saw a crowd of people looking up, shocked and horrified. John's stomach turned sick as the worst thoughts flooded his mind, he rushed out to join the crowd along with Roxanna and Henrik and the three of them looked up towards the roof.
Two figures sat at the top of the roof, the blonde hair identified Hannah and they could only assume the other person was Tony. The only other marker was the obvious sight of blood, a lot of blood. The second it took John to recognise them, he was frozen to the spot along with Hannah's parents, but in the next second his feet acted faster than his brain and he was running back into the hospital with his friends hot on his heels.
When they burst through the door onto the roof John half expected to find it empty, for them to have been too slow and arrived too late; he expected to have to peer over the edge of the building and see Hannah's body on the pavement below, a bloody mess entwined with her murderer's. His fears were allayed though as he saw Hannah and Tony still sat there but Tony's arm was around her and he was holding her up as he cried and rocked her gently, repeatedly apologising. For a moment it did look like it was too late and that Tony was cradling Hannah's already dead body to his chest, she barely seemed to be moving; but it quickly became apparent from the way her shoulders heaved as she struggled with her breathing that she was still alive.
The blood began to flow quickly from the moment Tony cut Hannah's arm and she snatched it back and cradled it to her chest as she fought to regain control of herself. She was in too dangerous of a situation not to keep calm so she gritted her teeth against the excruciating pain and tried to ignore the way the front of her scrubs were already drenched in blood and her arm wasn't stopping any time soon. She was a surgeon and accustomed to the sight of blood, but seeing the quantity and the gaping wound in her arm, made her a little dizzy and she wobbled slightly. Tony reached out and put an arm around her, gently putting down the blade again and using his hand to clench around her arm in a naive attempt to staunch the blood-flow. She had no choice but to lean against him and let him support her.
'Tony, please, give me the knife, before you do any more damage.' she requested and she could see in his eyes that he was back. He wordlessly handed her the knife back and she took it in her right hand and threw it far behind her before taking some deep breaths and trying to fight against the dizziness.
'I'm so sorry Hannah, I'm so sorry...' he murmured into her hair and she heard the sound of the door opening behind her and knew the cavalry had arrived. She wondered how long she had before she bled out, here on the rooftop.
'Hannah?' it was the sound of her father and Hannah was glad he was here, she needed him now more than ever and she didn't doubt that John was there too if not far behind.
'Just stay back, dad, we're okay here aren't we Tony?' she asked and he looked at her in alarm.
'This is what you wanted...' he said in a small voice and she shook her head, her eyes filling with tears.
'No, Tony, I didn't. Please, we have to go back inside. I think you... I think my artery is damaged. I need to have surgery, I'm losing too much blood. If you don't help me get back inside I'm going to die.' she told him firmly and she could see she was finally getting through to him. 'Please, I want to see my son again, my little boy, Danny. I want to live my life, Tony, and I want you to live yours too. Let's go, together.' she continued to speak as firmly as she could despite the growing sense of unease she felt. He looked at her for a few moments with wide eyes before nodding slowly.
'Yes, we have to stick together.' he said quietly and she smiled, glad to finally be getting through to him. 'This is what I wanted. I wanted us to be together, forever.' he said and she realised her mistake. 'It's time to go.'
Before she could say anything Tony was pushing off from the edge, his arm slipping from around her shoulder but his grip on her arm still strong. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as she heard her mother's scream and shouts from both her father and John all intermingled with the screams of people below; it took her longer to recognise the sound of her own scream. She felt herself being pulled from the edge of building and she flailed wildly as she sought for something to hold onto but her free hand was drenched in blood and she knew she wouldn't be able to grasp anything anyway. This was how she was going to die.
Thoughts of Danny flooded her mind, how she wouldn't be there for him as he grew up, how he would hardly remember her. She wondered if he would resent her for leaving him so young in life the way she had resented her own mother for so long, she wondered if he would miss her.
Just before she lost her balance she felt arms around her waist and she was being pulled back against Tony's grip. Her head banged against the metal railing and she felt Tony's grasp on her arm slip and his fingers caught at her open wound, tearing it slightly, it was agonising. She screamed again as she was pulled back onto the roof and she watched as Tony's terrified face fell over the edge and plummeted to the ground below.
The momentum forced her backwards and she and her saviour fell back onto the gravel of the roof and she felt oddly safe. Her sense of safety was quickly diminished as the pain in her arm returned and she clutched it to her chest with a sob; the arms which had saved her were still around her and her father's face swam into view. He lifted her shoulders to support her head as he sat up and cradled her to his chest, his face was all business but she could see the fear in his eyes.
'Dad, I'm sorry...' she said and her voice shook as spots began to appear in her vision.
'No need to apologise. Roxanna go and get a wheelchair or something, now! John, come over here and help me.' Henrik began barking orders, trying to keep calm as memories of the time he had tried in vain to save his other child began to haunt him. John appeared on Hannah's other side and she wanted to speak to him but she couldn't remove her fixation from her father, she felt so weak.
'I'm sorry dad... I was stupid, I shouldn't have trusted him.' she sobbed and her father held her closer, taking her hand to lift her wounded arm against his shoulder as John pulled off his tie to make a tourniquet. As he took her hand, Henrik found her engagement ring and did a double take as he noticed what it was. At the same moment John noticed it and gently, wordlessly, took Hannah's hand away from him and slipped the engagement ring off, placing it into his pocket. The two men shared a look, Henrik's full of rage and John's full of bitterness but they both knew that now was not the moment for that discussion.
'You have to look after Danny...' Hannah said but her voice was breathy now and she let her eyes close. It was unclear who she was speaking to as her head lolled against her father's arm.
'Hannah, stay awake for me please.' Henrik instructed as he shook her slightly and her eyes opened wearily. John took her arm and wrapped his tie around it.
'I'm sorry, my love, but this is going to hurt.' he told her before suddenly tightening the tourniquet. Hannah screamed in pain and kicked at the ground in protest and Henrik's heart broke but the pain seemed to do something to awaken her slightly and she looked up at her father with wider eyes.
'You're going to be alright.' he promised as he re-took her hand and placed it over his shoulder to keep her arm elevated.
'I'm scared, I don't want to die.' she told him and he shook his head with tear-filled eyes.
'I won't let you, not after Fredrik. Hannah you're all I've got left, you can't go anywhere. Who else will eat the tomatoes out of my salad?' he asked with a watery smile as he attempted to battle through his tears, an act she tried to return.
'This is not your fault.' she said, her words were disjointed and John pushed her hair back to check her head where it had hit the metal railing but he didn't think it would warrant anything more than a concussion. 'I love you, dad.' she smiled slightly as Roxanna appeared with Fletch and a trolley. Roxanna collapsed to her knees beside John and tried to clutch at her daughter as she sobbed but Hannah's eyes were closing again.
'Stay awake, Hannah!' Henrik instructed as Fletch brought the trolley closer and Henrik got his arms under his daughter to lift her onto the trolley. Once he did he took the helm himself and John took the other end to guide her whilst Roxanna kept a hold of her arm, keeping it as elevated as she could. Henrik removed his jacket and gave it to Roxanna to keep pressed against her arm but the amount of blood Hannah had already lost was unprecedented. It didn't look good.
'Get her to theatre, now.' Henrik instructed and Fletch hurried ahead to make the necessary arrangements. Sacha was the only available surgeon and Frieda insisted on assisting in theatre since this was a result of Hannah saving her own life. John, Henrik and Roxanna were confined to the gallery where they could watch.
Roxanna sat by the glass and watched the surgery with wide eyes, completely lost to the two men who stood a little behind her, even though she was there, there was an element of privacy.
'The ring on Hannah's finger...' Hanssen began, unsure of how to word the question he wanted to ask but knowing that the subject needed to be tackled. There was a silence between them before John sighed and removed the ring from his pocket, it was covered with Hannah's dried blood. He began to try and clean it a little on his sleeve. Hanssen looked at it with a pained expression before sighing and returning his gaze to the theatre.
'When?' he asked quietly and John couldn't remove his eyes from the ring.
'When he had the knife to her neck. He made me.' John said and Hanssen looked angry for a moment.
'He made you?' he asked and John smiled a little.
'Well, no. I had the ring, hidden in a box of sweets I bought as a Valentine's day gift. It was meant to be a surprise, it was meant to happen in a better way. She would open the box and then I would give her the speech I prepared and end it by asking her to marry me. I realise in hindsight it was impolite not to ask your permission, I apologise.' he said quietly and Hanssen clenched his fists. 'Langdon thought that I had a wire device hidden in the box and made me open it and then he told me to propose there and then. She said yes.'
'Don't you think you're moving a little quickly? It seems quite rash.' Hanssen commented and John shook his head.
'I think it's the perfect time. I think that we all need one another now more than ever and Hannah and I need one another especially. I love your daughter Henrik, that feeling isn't going away any time soon and I think it's made abundantly clear that she loves me back. Honestly though, I would appreciate your blessing with this, I'm tired of being at odds with you all of the time. I understand our friendship can never be as it was, but I don't like how much things have altered between us. I want you to be alright with this.' John spoke in earnest and Hanssen could hear that.
'I think it's a wonderful idea.' Roxanna said suddenly, turning her head towards John with a small smile behind her tears. She sniffed and walked back towards him, Hanssen watched her with a pained expression again.
'I think that you're right, we do all need one another and it's time we all started acting like the family we are, the family we're supposed to be.' Roxanna said sternly, looking between both John and Henrik who had let his gaze wander away like a sulky teenager.
'Thank you Rox, it means a lot.' John smiled and she smiled back, the two of them then turned to Henrik who didn't look at them but watched Sacha and Frieda work to save his daughter's life.
'The most important thing in the world to me is Hannah's happiness.' he said slowly and Roxanna turned back to face the window and the three of them looked to Hannah's peaceful face as she slept through her surgery. 'I do believe you make her happy, John, and if she agrees to marry you then I suppose you might have my blessing.'
It didn't sound like Henrik gave the words easily and that was true, he hated the idea of relinquishing the only family he had left but he couldn't keep Hannah cooped up forever. He had to let her go.
The surgery was long and arduous but Hannah didn't give them any cause for alarm and by the time Sacha and Frieda were closing up, all of their fears were allayed. Sacha met the three of them in the gallery with a tired, tight smile.
'The scar tissue from the previous wound actually took most of the damage, the artery was nicked in a few places which is why she lost so much blood but we've managed to keep her pretty stable throughout. I will need to do an MRI to check for any potential brain damage from the blood loss but I'm hopeful she'll be alright.' Sacha explained and the other three smiled at him, of course they already knew all of this but it felt calming to hear it spoken so confidently by a friend and colleague.
'She hit her head on the roof anyway so I wanted to conduct a few tests once she wakes up.' John commented, returning to his business persona; he had to be her doctor first when he was worried in this way.
'I think that we can let Sacha do his job.' Roxanna smiled and Henrik took a deep breath.
'Besides, you ought to clean yourself up before she wakes up, and maybe give that ring a clean too?' he suggested with a small smile and John looked at him in surprise for a moment before offering him a smile of gratitude and rushing off to fulfil these ideas.
Hannah was given the private recovery room at the end of the ward and Sacha kept a close eye on her but determined that she hadn't suffered any brain damage from the blood loss nor the injury she sustained which was already forming a nasty lump on the back of her head. However, he knew that they would have to keep a very close eye on her for the next few days. Hanssen and Roxanna couldn't be induced to leave her side the entire time she was asleep and as soon as John looked a little more presentable he joined them and also wouldn't move, it was the first genuine moment of calm and ease between them than had occurred in a long time.
Hannah's eyes began to flutter at last and Roxanna was the first to notice it, she stood up suddenly and grasped Hannah's hand in her own as Hannah began to groan and squeeze her eyes shut tight before opening them slowly.
'Hello, darling...' Roxanna said quietly as she pressed Hannah's hand to her lips in a kiss.
'Hannah?' Hanssen added as he stood beside Roxanna and stood tall, surveying the scene and trying to appear like the professional character out of the three. John stood on Hannah's other side and stroked her hair.
'Hello, I'm awake...' Hannah muttered like she was just being woken up from a nap or something. It took her a moment but she gradually remembered what had happened and where she was and she snuck a glance down at her arm.
'Great, just what I needed, another great, big, ugly scar.' she muttered and Hanssen's resolve almost broke.
'Technically it's the same scar...' John said slowly and Hannah looked at him before bursting into a fit of giggles which John joined in with, Roxanna and Henrik looked at one another with a confused look.
'We'll give you two a minute, we'll come back soon alright?' Roxanna suggested and gently took Henrik's arm to lead him away but not before she planted a kiss on her daughter's forehead. Hannah gave them a smile as she propped herself up on the bed and John helped her to adjust it so that she could sit up properly.
'What do you remember?' John asked, sitting down on the bed beside her.
'Everything I think... I blacked out on the roof after dad pulled me back. You basically cut my arm off with your tie and I started to freak out and then I got really dizzy and passed out. Am I okay?' she asked and John nodded.
'Mr Levy and Ms Petrenko did some excellent work.' he explained and she sighed.
'Petrenko's alright then? Good, I was worried about her.' she said and John raised an eyebrow.
'You were worried about her?' he asked and she nodded.
'Of course.'
'Hannah you should have been worried about you. If we had been just a minute or two later you could have died!' he exclaimed and she gave him a small smile and a playful tap on the arm.
'Nah, I'm very resourceful, I would have worked something out.' she smiled and then looked down. 'I notice that a newly acquired piece of jewellery is missing...' she said quietly and he paused before laughing lightly and digging the newly cleaned ring out of his pocket.
'Hannah, look, I understand that the situation was tense, it was very high pressure. What I mean to say is that I completely understand if you don't actually feel the same way and you just replied saying yes because of the scenario. I just...' he stumbled and she raised a mocking eyebrow.
'Alright then, ask me again.' she replied with a playful look in her eye and he smiled, taking her hands in his and looking deep into her eyes.
'Hannah Hanssen, will you marry me?' he asked and she grinned.
'Yes, yes I will and you don't need to ask me a third time, you should have gotten the message by now.' she smiled and he laughed before slipping the ring onto her finger for the second time that day. As they both looked down at the ring, their foreheads touching, Hannah couldn't help herself.
'Tony?' she asked and his smile fell, he didn't need to reply for her to know the answer to her unspoken question. 'Oh...' was all she could say.
'I thought I'd lost you, Hannah... I thought he was going to kill you or you were going to slip from the roof and all I could think of was how I was going to lose you and it wasn't fair...' he whispered as tears came to his eyes and he looked up to see she was crying too.
'I'm sorry...' she whispered and he enclosed her in his arms in an instant, pressing his lips to hers as she clutched him back.
'Also,' she began once she broke away and he looked at her expectantly, she was looking down with a guilty expression. 'I lied to you about something.' she admitted and his heart fell a little as he awaited a piece of terrible news she had kept from him.
'What, what is it?' he asked and she looked up at him with guilt-stricken eyes.
'I did buy you a Valentine's day gift, it's a watch and it's in the bottom of the wardrobe at home.' she said slowly and he burst out laughing which she quickly joined in with.
'You madwoman.' he grinned and she smiled at him again before kissing him and choosing to celebrate the beginning of their new lives together rather than harp on the horrific events of the day.