Weiss Reacts to Squid Girl, Part 1!

A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Jeez, last chapter was a turn-around, wasn't it? Poor Pyrrha, having to see herself get shot, everyone in general needing a stiff drink, and of course all that business with Ozpin and the Awakening Initiative- it'd make anyone want a break from seriousness! And that's just in our fic, we haven't even gone on about canon yet!

So, here's a nice, fluffy, comedic anime for you to go watch (only the first season, I've never watched the undubbed second season)! Also, shameless shilling corner, if you haven't yet, go read my oneshot Aftermath, set after last chapter, because there's a TINY joke here that might make more sense if you read it. Also, Salem shows up in this chapter. Woo.

DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise we'd have an image song for Penny. (Dammit, I can't stop making dead person references. Whoops, spoiler!)

Shinryaku Ika Musume/Squid Girl belongs to Masahiro Anbe.

All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.

"Weiss! WEEEEEISS!" Yang shook the heiress roughly, giggling intensely. Weiss growled, trying to enjoy her cup of hot chocolate.

"…..what is it now, Yang?"
"It happened! It really happened!" The brawler declared happily. "Drop everything you have and look at this!"

She shoved a picture into Weiss' face, who made no attempt to catch it as it slipped onto the table in front of her. The heiress elbowed the brawler to move her away, glaring at her.

"Idiot! I was drinking something!"
"Weiss, just look at it!"

"Fine! Fine!" The heiress snapped, yanking the picture up to glare at it. "What even is-"

She stopped as she processed exactly what she was seeing.

It was a picture of Jaune and Pyrrha, asleep, in the same bed. The former had his arm around the latter, and she was smiling, almost adorably, in her sleep. The knight's embrace seemed tight, as if he was attempting to keep her as close as possible.

"…JAUNE ARC YOU PERVERT" Weiss roared indignantly, standing up and casting the picture aside. "I swear, of all the perverted things you could possibly do….do you have no shame?! Do you have no SHAME?!"

"Hey, hey! Weiss!" Yang caught her by the shoulders. "Calm down! They didn't do anything! Nora checked when she took the picture! They both had their clothes on! Why do you think we just let them sleep?"

"….they….didn't-"
"No! Of course not!" The brawler shrugged. "I mean, that's what everyone's been dying for them to do already- and believe me, I wrote the fics for it- but no. They didn't…..ride the midnight horse, so to speak."

Weiss immediately sat back down, blushing in embarrassment. "….I feel rather odd now."
"Maybe because you're the one who had the perverted thoughts for once~" Yang pointed out with a smirk. "I didn't even say anything about Jauney-boy doing the dirty with her~ You're the one who jumped to conclusions this time! Anyway, they don't even have the guts to kiss, how would they do something like that?!"

"I-it was merely logical! C-completely logical! Weiss protested. "….s-shut up! I assumed nothing!"

Yang crossed her arms. "Alright, totally believe you. Hey, listen."
"Listen yourself. I'm not in the mood." The heiress snapped irritably. "Not after last night."

"…yeah, nobody is." Yang admitted, plopping herself next to Weiss and her previous enthusiasm gone. "Why do you think Pyrrha slept in Jaune's bed last night? I heard she was freaking crying."

"I would be, if I were in her position." The heiress mused. "….to think that in another world, that is what becomes of us….I can hardly imagine being without you or Ruby or even Blake, let alone being outright murdered…."

The brawler nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Surprised Pyrrha hasn't gone all paranoid yet. I had freaking nightmares about that, d'you believe? I mean, I know it's kinda weird, but…..it is us there. I mean, we sound the same; except Ren- but we sound the same, look the same…..okay, maybe not act the same, but…..it's kinda creepy.

I dunno. I kinda felt like giving you that picture would cheer you up a bit."
"…..you did it to cheer me up?" Weiss raised an eyebrow, curious. Yang nodded with a small smile.

"Of course. What kind of big sister would I be? No way am I going to sit down and just cry over some other me losing her arm." The brawler chuckled. "Oh and, of course, I wanted you to see how cute Pyrrha looks here! It's like seeing a puppy! Or a little kitten! I swear, I've never seen her smile like that before."

"Heh." Weiss scoffed. "Neither have I. Then again, she needs something like that after last night, we all do."
"…which is why I was going to suggest we watch something nice and light!" Yang cheered, smiling. Weiss cringed, knowing what Yang usually meant by 'nice and light'.

"Oh for the love of Dust, did you have to ruin the moment? We had a moment, Yang! A moment!"
"Relax, it's not something bad!" The brawler shrugged. Weiss stared at her, disbelieving.

"What will it be? That stupid Rosario thing with all those perverted images? Much as I love you, Yang, I don't share your tastes-"
"Seriously, Weiss? First you assume Pyrrha did the deed with Jaune and then you assume I was going to show you some fanservice-filled anime?" Yang tutted, her smirk returning to her face. "….my, my, Schnee. You're slipping on your standards."

The heiress, humbled, remained quiet. The brawler smirked as she produced a light disc with 'Shinryaku Ika Musume' written on it in black marker. "As I was saying, we were going to watch Squid Girl."
"….that already sounds stupid and suspicious."

"No, no, trust me!" Yang flailed. "It's a good show! Trust me! You'll love it!"
"…tch." Weiss crossed her arms, turning her nose up literally. "…..fine, I'll take your word for it.

But if it seems perverted, I will personally end you. Even the writers of that blasted show wouldn't be able to think up the end I have most fitting for you, Yang."
"Well, they already had me arrested, framed me for assault, took my not-girlfriend away, cut my arm off, turned me into a depressive bedridden invalid and made me not care about Rubes all that much." The brawler shrugged. "Short of killing me, I can't see what they'd do."
"I'll shave your hair off."

Yang fiercely glared at Weiss. "You wouldn't dare, Schnee."

Episode 1

"Squid Girl, Emissary of the Sea." Weiss' eyes narrowed. "Oh, I can smell the antics already…."

Yang chuckled. "Oh, you don't even know the half of it."
"….and why does this girl sound so familiar?" The heiress noted. "She sounds…..familiar. What was that girl's name, that…..what….Meduka Kanami? Whatever, her.

And SHUT UP WITH YOUR STUPID SEA PUNS! WHY?!"

"Invading from the sea but you think that there's only a few thousand humans on the planet." Yang closed her eyes, laughing. "Ah, Ika, if only you knew."
"…having to work to make up the debt? So much for invading." The heiress scoffed. "She really should've thought that one through….

This boy, he really is a glutton for punishment!"

Yang tilted her head. "I wonder how she keeps her hair so perfect if she uses it like tentacles…."
"That'll be the day, when I see Yang Xiao Long jealous of someone else's hair…." Weiss muttered aside irritably. "…and seriously? Is she that much of a ditz that she fell for a fake squid hat and a bunch of-ARE YOU SERIOUS IS SHE SERIOUSLY MOURNING IT?!"
Yang chuckled. "It's cute, in a way."
"I'm not sure I'd agree." Weiss retorted. "…good Dust, Chizuru?! What kind of eldritch beast is she?! She just….chopped her tentacles in pieces!"
"Well, we know who wears the pants in the Aizawa family." The brawler remarked blithely. "...and this, kids, is why you never piss off the quiet ones.

It's always them or the nice ones. They're ones to watch out for. Why do you think Pyrrha's so dangerous?"
"I'm not sure it's because she's nice to her enemies, Yang."

Episode 2

"…how irritating." Weiss grumbled. "Is she seriously being this petty over him not being like her? Good Dust…..she risked a child's life! What kind of idiocy-?!"
"This is before she got nicer. Slightly." Yang shrugged. "…awww, she got all tsundere about saving their life. That's cute. Remind you of anyone~?"
"S-shut up! I've said this enough t-times to get it into your t-thick skull, I-I'm not a tsundere! Idiot!" Weiss snapped, crossing her arms and turning away, huffing. "…..what kind of immature fool does she think she is?! That's not how a birthday works!"
"I feel a little sorry for her sometimes." The brawler admitted, smiling. "She looks like she's never had friends before.

I mean, I can't blame them, but…."
"…well, if she has to deal with Chizuru, I can understand why she'd think they want to eat her…." Weiss mused. "…..but that's still really messed up.

Heh. Squid ink cake. I can't imagine someone would like that too much…."
Yang giggled. "…..she gets so cute around firecrackers. And then she does that."

"Birthdays are not celebrated more than once a year! Good Dust, is she really this much of a ditz?" The heiress muttered. "…oh Dust. Sanae already irritates me.

Stupid, shameless pervert! PERVERT!"
"And I think Sanae's my new favourite." Yang remarked, whistling. "She's just so hilariously obsessed…"
"I already have to deal with Velvet here, I don't want to see some other deviant pervert drooling over pictures of some squid person!" The heiress snapped. "At least Sanae doesn't push her face into her chest and gush about her having a flat chest, thank Dust for that!"

"Yeah. People like mature women in that respect, anyway." Yang remarked, smirking. "Why do you think all the fanart's of me and Pyrrha, anyway?"
"Mature? How can you call yourself mature?!" The heiress stared at her in disbelief.

Episode 3

Yang smirked. "We should totally do something like that, walking around in a cemetery to find ghosts."
"I'd rather not." Weiss muttered. "You'd probably set some sort of perverted antic up so you'd have an excuse to have Blake hold you or something."
"Hey, hey, don't knock it 'till you try it." The brawler chided her softly. "I want to spend more time with Blake, anyway."

"That's surprisingly un-perverted of you."

Yang sighed, sounding surprisingly down. "…..well, it's the truth, I guess. I kinda….have feelings for Blake."

Weiss raised an eyebrow curiously. "…you're in love with Blake? Well, that changes things. I always thought you were just flirting with her because….well, you're you."
"I mean…..I dunno, okay?" The brawler muttered. "…..it's hard to talk about this kinda stuff! It's funny when it happens to other people! It's hard when it's you who gets it…."
Weiss nodded, understanding her perfectly. "….fair enough. You want to talk about it later?"

"…..yeah." Yang smiled at her. "I'd like that. Anyway, enough seriousness. We're watching this because we're trying to get over the seriousness, no?

Besides, this isn't one of those self-help columns."

To prove her point, she raised a newspaper with a column labelled 'Ask Auntie Salem', with an image of a ridiculously pale woman with black where the whites of her eyes should've been and red irises, presumably as the eponymous 'Auntie Salem'. Underneath, there were letters to her asking for advice of various types, and her responses seemed, if somewhat ominous and cynical, fitting.

"…..well, that was fun while it lasted." The heiress sighed. "Fair enough.

…of course. Of course she's afraid of killer whales. And of course she mistakes the inflatable-how is this girl even supposed to take over the surface world if she can't even tell the difference between a living animal and a swimming prop?!"

Yang shrugged. "She really didn't think it through. You'll see what I mean."
"….good Dust. How is this Nagisa person even afraid of her?!" Weiss cried in disbelief. "And don't get happy, you idiot! How does that even work?! Even her tentacle antics barely hurt a child!"

Yang held a finger up. "Well, technically, if she got serious, she could probably beat them all into pulp.

It's just, y'know, Chizuru's stronger and Ika's too tsundere to actually act properly like an invader."

"And she calls herself an invader." Weiss scoffed dismissively. "I'm disappointed, a little. I hope she actually acts more like a proper ink-OH FOR THE LOVE OF DUST SHE GOT ME DOING IT"

"Ink-vading really is difficult work for punning." Yang sighed, shaking her head. Weiss grumbled.

"She makes more puns than you do!"
"….you know, I'm not my voice actress." The brawler pointed out, frowning. "…I don't make puns that much. Even in canon. Seriously. Shocking, I know!"

Episode 4

"Ten thousand yen, and she spends it on shrimp instead of trying to get out of the debt she's stuck herself in." Weiss muttered. "Perfect. Well, at least we met a bigger glutton than you."
"Man, all that shrimp…." Yang looked impressed. "I'm hungry now."

Weiss looked disgusted. "Sanae….why. Just….why. Why would you even….that's….WHY?!"
"Girl's got to try to get her girl to notice her, no?" Yang raised an eyebrow. "I'm even impressed. A little.

Maybe if I dressed up like a big tuna…"
"Don't you dare, Yang! Don't you dare." Weiss glared at her, before turning back to the screen. "…..wonderful. Well….it seems this venture into hospitality….didn't go wrong, actually. That's genuinely surprising.

Well, it's not completely going wrong. What…"
"Boo!" Yang gave it a thumbs down. "Not enough anti-oh, all is forgiven, never mind!"
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING SQUID GIRL HER HEAD IS NOT A SHRIMP" The heiress shrieked. "COME ON! ARE YOU THAT MUCH OF A DITZ?!

…..and why would this idiot believe anyone would fall for that fake?! Well, apart from the original herself!"
Yang chuckled. "You're taking this way too seriously."

"That's because everyone in this blasted anime seems to be a bunch of fools!" The heiress snapped. "….oh, of course she's a pretty girl underneath that mask! As if the contrast couldn't get any worse!"

Yang rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. She's got nothing on me~"
"You're a narcissist, she isn't. She already has that on you."
"Touché, Weiss. Touché."

Episode 5

"Cindy Campbell." Weiss thought carefully. "I've heard that name somewhere before….and that voice, too…."
Yang frowned. "Well, I know where I'm telling the Antic Order to check next."
"Good Dust, no. Dust forbid they get hypnotism powers like that…." Weiss grumbled. "To think she hypnotised her into thinking she was an alien because she wanted her to be an alien…..that's just out of line.

….of course, she snaps out of it for shrimp. Why am I not surprised?"
"I'd totally do it like that for food." Yang remarked, chuckling. "…..ohohohoho, this is hilarious!"
"….wonderful. Well, she'd be right about school being a military institution if she went to our school." The heiress conceded. "As it is, that school is nothing like Beacon.

…..is she mad? Why would you feed someone who's allergic to shrimp some shrimp?!"

"Like you said, ditz." Yang pointed out.

Weiss tilted her head. "…mini Squid Girl. Huh. This ought to be interesting."
"Isn't that cute?" The brawler pointed out. "That's cute! She's just training her to do stuff! Like a puppy! Only she's a squid.

You know, I always wondered where Chizuru and Takeru were during this sequence."
"You raise an excellent….Eiko?" Weiss blinked. "Eiko…..no. Eiko….she didn't just…."

Yang sniffled slightly. "…..y-yeah. This part…..this part of the episode is really sad."

"…she'll outlive her…that's…..I don't even…." The heiress shook her head. "…..why would they…"
"It throws a little drama into it….." The brawler admitted, looking a little teary. "….at least that was just an alternate universe thing."
"….I still can't believe they did something like that." Weiss muttered, blinking. "….I-I'm not crying!"
"I-It's okay to cry, Weiss, it's a sad moment-"
"D-don't say stuff like that! Y-you don't sound like Yang! You sound like someone completely different!"

Episode 6

"We should really watch Kamen Rider one of these days. I heard Double's pretty good." Yang mused as the Kamen Rider parody played out on screen. "…heh. I'd totally root for the kaijin. If they weren't, you know, horribly murdering people."
"…..that's just completely wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to start." Weiss muttered. "…good Dust, Squid Girl, can you be more of a ditz to not figure out that she isn't the real deal? She's not even wearing the same kind of mask!"

Yang sighed. "Ah, the one thing I actually am jealous of Ika for. I wish I actually knew how to do all that maths….."
"If you studied, maybe you wouldn't be having this issue!" Weiss snapped. "You basically throw the books in a cupboard and forget they exist!"
"It's not my fault they're all boring!" Yang protested. "…..but seriously, I'm so jealous! And I wish I could read squid language…..hieroglyphics….whatever those squiggles are, so I could figure out how she does it!"
The heiress rolled her eyes, sighing dismissively. "No such thing as a free lunch, so they say-

Oh wonderful. So now they think…..this is your doing, isn't it?"
"Hey, I didn't write the episode!" The brawler pointed out. "But, you know….Nagisa getting saved by Goro and now everyone's thinking about this love dodecahedron…..

Hey! Eiko, don't knock around Sanae! She makes it more interesting with her cute clinginess!"
"I would not call that cute, Yang!" Weiss snapped. "Then again, you help Velvet kidnap me!"

"Hey, I defend you from Velvet!" The brawler retorted. "I'll have you know I am an ardent White Rose shipper! And a huge Arkos shipper, too! I would never support some other ship!"
Weiss' eyes narrowed. "Well, isn't that comforting. Well-"

"Hey, guys!" Ruby called as she walked in, waving at Weiss and Yang. "…..where were you guys? You missed it! I swear, I've never seen Pyrrha smile like that before-"
"We know, Ruby." The brawler pointed out, holding up the picture Nora had taken. "Hey, Blake's with you, right?"
"Yeah?" The catgirl herself strolled in after Ruby. "What?"
"You should totally sit down with us and finish the rest of Squid Girl with us!"

Weiss looked pleadingly to Ruby. "For the love of Dust, at least sit here so I can survive Yang a while longer…."

"…..sure." The reaper settled down between Weiss and Yang, wrapping her arm around the former. "Oooh, what episode?"
"We're just about to start seven."

Blake rubbed her hands. "So the best episodes are coming up. Brilliant."

Weiss sighed, shaking her head. "So the antics begin."

To be continued….

A/N: Next time, the second half of the episodes! And then after that, we will be doing School Plays! Isn't that just brilliant?

Also, there, Salem showed up in the Reactsverse, now stop asking. *smirk*

So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, suggestions, criticisms, comments, thoughts and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!