2

Eiji was pulled back from the comfort of his dreams by someone shaking his shoulders. It felt as though he was being pulled from a deep, dark, comfortable hole and he groaned in protest.

He was shushed. It seemed so urgent that his eyes snapped open.

Ash was kneeling in front of him, with narrowed eyes. His mouth was drawn in a straight line. That was a serious face.

"What's wrong?" Eiji whispered. He was imagining guns trained on them. Armed men waiting beyond the doors of the van. Surely Shorter would be better for something like that?

"Come on," was all Ash hissed back. He gave Eiji's shoulder a final shake, before he stood and crossed the back of the van.

They had stopped for the night at a gas station. Max and Ibe slumped together in the front, the boys lying in a mess of blankets in the back. Eiji couldn't remember the last time he shared a bed before all this and now he was sharing the floor of a van.

A van going to Los Angeles because they had to find information to bring a mob boss down.

He had been trying not to think about what was happening around him. If he thought about it, then he had to think about home and Ibe sending him back.

He had to think about if he would make it back home.

Instead, he started across the van, stepping lightly over Shorter's snoring body. The early morning light came streaming through the back.

Ash was resting against the back, arms crossed. Eiji gathered that they weren't being shot down and rested his arms on the half cover at the back.

"What's wrong?" he asked again, scanning the line of pine trees that surrounded the gas station. The smell of them was thick in the air.

"Do you need help down or something?" Ash asked. "I said come on."

Eiji swung his legs over the back, landing on the ground with a decided thump. He hadn't so much as looked at Ash again before the blonde was started over to the tree lines determinedly.

Part of him didn't want to follow. Part of him said that Ash didn't want him following him around all the time. Another part said that he shouldn't follow Ash around all the time. People died around him. Surely he was his own person, he could make his own decisions. He could be strong and say no and go back to sleep.

But he could make his own decisions. And his decision was to follow Ash through the car park.

His hair caught the dawn light, reflecting back peaches and pinks so that he almost looked like he was glowing. Eiji couldn't stop staring at him.

The light disappeared as they headed underneath the trees, the crisp air sharpening to a chill against Eiji's bare arms. He wished he had thought to bring a jumper.

"You're being cryptic this morning," he said, because the hairs on the back of his neck were pickling. Ash wasn't acting as though he was expecting an ambush at any second, but there was a reason for everything Ash did, even kissing Eiji. The reason was always tied into something much bigger. A very early morning walk could be an intel mission for all Eiji knew.

"I don't talk in the morning," Ash replied over his shoulder. A shoulder clad in a hoodie.

"Same," Eiji said, and he heard a snort from Ash. "So why are you dragging me out here?"

"Because this could be our last chance to get some alone time," Ash said. He finally stopped, but just for long enough so that he could turn and wink at Eiji, a wolf-like grin on his face. "Sweetie."

Heat flooded Eiji's cheeks and he looked away. Just the word brought it all back. Ash's hand on his cheek - Ash's hand on his butt. Ash's eyes making his heart leap like he was a puppet on a string.

"This is as far as we'll go," Ash continued speaking. "It's as good as place as any."

"Do I really have to ask what I'm doing here again?" Eiji looked up at Ash, feeling himself smile and not knowing why.

"Practice," Ash said, and at Eiji's blank stare reached into the hem of his ripped jeans. "Shooting practice."

And there was his gun, reflecting the light with a single shine.

"Oh," Eiji wasn't sure what else he was expecting. What else he was hoping. He clenched his fists for a brief second, before he took the gun. It was cold and just as heavy as he remembered it. He wasn't sure he liked it - he still remembered Shorter's hands around his - forcing the trigger down and -

But he also remembered Ash's arms around him, guiding him to the target. Ash's breath on his neck and his laugh in his ear.

He forced himself to smile again and raised an eyebrow at Ash. "And what? You're the target?"

"I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Ash said and for one, wonderful moment they both laughed.

Then he stepped to the left, so that his chest faced Eiji, and pointed to a pine tree in front of them.

"Aim for that knot in the tree," he said, his voice dropping. "Or just the tree in general."

Eiji opened his mouth to say that he wasn't an awful shot, but he really had no idea how good or bad he was, so closed his mouth again and lifted the gun.

Without a word, there was Ash's hands, adjusting his elbow and straightening his shoulders. Ash's hands were on his bare skin.

"The longer you spend aiming, the harder it will get," he said, one hand holding Eiji's wrist up. "Be as quick as you can."

Eiji had read that it was easiest to time it with his breathing. He lined up the gun with the knot, breathed out, fired.

The bang sent a flock of nearby birds into the wind. It seemed like an explosion to Eiji's tired mind. Wood sprung from the tree in a small explosion of splinters.

Only it was a sizeable distance above the knot he had been aiming for.

"Good try," Ash said. He sounded earnest, but as soon as Eiji glanced at him with one eyebrow raised dubiously, he burst out laughing.

Eiji didn't think about it, he nudged Ash's chest with his elbow and muttered "shut up," even though he was grinning too.

Then he realised what had happened and felt his heart begin to race and his cheeks begin to burn. He raised the gun again to put it in the past and never think about again.

"You know," he said with Ash's hand on his lower back. "It would be a lot easier to aim faster without you getting in the way."

"I don't want you to dislocate your shoulder or something stupid."

"What about your shoulder? How is it? Feeling better?" Eiji asked, taking his eyes of the tree. Ash's eyes were the same colour as the green around them.

"It's not a big deal, really."

"You got shot!"

"You're not focusing on the target, Eiji," Ash said. Eiji couldn't pinpoint when he had first started saying his name, or when he had first started saying his name like that. "There's no time for chit chat in a gunfight."

Eiji allowed himself to pout for a moment, before he turned back to the tree, adjusted his aim and fired again.

The second gunshot seemed even louder than the first.

He was closer to the target this time, but his arm had strayed to the right. Away from Ash.

"I fired a gun that day," he said. Ash had gone to pull away, but his fingers sat there patiently, waiting for an explanation. "When you got shot, when you gave me that gun - I shot it at a man." Ash was silent and his gaze was blazing like Greek fire. Eiji forced himself to smile slightly. "Shorter did, really. I had just flung it out in front of me - I don't think I'd even planned to shoot it - but he had one too and he was pointing it at me and I couldn't think what to do. Shorter shot it for me."

"Did it kill him?"

"I don't know. Probably."

Ash didn't say anything. His eyes were unreadable as he scanned Eiji's face. His fingertips still rested on his back and wrist, the touch so light that it tingled.

He started to ask what was wrong, but he couldn't manage it. His lips stayed parted as he stared back. Those eyes had a way of trapping him, even with the blonde strands being blown gently across Ash's forehead.

"I want to show you something," he finally said and plucked the gun from Eiji's fingers.

"But I haven't hit the knot yet."

"I know."

He was already tucking the gun into the back of his jeans.

"Do you just expect me to follow you everywhere?" Eiji asked.

"Why not? You've followed me everywhere so far," Ash said. He leant against the tree, turning back to Eiji. It may have just been a trick of the light, but his eyes sparkled.

Eiji shrugged, it was true, and started forwards, the pine needles soft and squishy beneath his feet.

"Are we switching targets?" he asked.

Ash didn't reply, he just kept walking through the trees like he was weaving in and out of people at a party. He glanced back occasionally to make sure that Eiji was still behind him and every time Eiji found himself smiling back.

He thought that they were coming up to a clearing, because the trees stopped a way ahead of Ash, but when he caught up to him, standing on the edge of the treeline, he found he was wrong. They were stood at the edge of an outcrop. The ground beneath them dropped lazily in rocky chunks. Eiji's trainer kicked a pinecone off the edge and it went tumbling down.

It was the view that drew his attention. The town they had just driven through was built on a collection of hills and now they saw the whole place at once. From here, it looked like a child's toy – all perfect white houses and broccoli-like trees. It was more like a drawing or a painting than reality. The entire town was set against the morning sky, the sun just starting to peak through and stain the sky with blue.

"It's – incredible," Eiji breathed.

"I know," Ash was leaning against a tree, because he didn't seem to be able to stand upright of his own accord.

"How did you know this was here?"

"I didn't."

"What?"

"I didn't know anything about this," when Eiji raised his eyebrows, Ash laughed out loud. He flicked his fringe from his eyes, turning the strands into rays of sunlight for a second. "I just wanted to find something cool to look at. To get out of that clearing."

Eiji looked at him, a smile bubbling over his face.

"You're weird."

"You too."

Ash hooked an arm around Eiji's shoulders, knocking him off balance slightly so that he fell against him. Without thinking, Eiji reached a hand up and, without thinking again, his fingers were suddenly intertwined with Ash's. He was leaning his weight against him, his hair flopping into his eyes so that he had to look through inky black strands at the sky.

"I love this," he said, his voice a murmur. It was mainly to himself, but his mouth was grazing Ash's ear and he heard. Eiji knew because his hands were given a gentle squeeze.

"Same," Ash said.

Eiji somehow wound up with his head on Ash's shoulder, his worn hoodie feeling like a comfort blanket against his cheek. A strand of gold mingled with the black of his own hair. It looked beautiful, but he couldn't explain why. He couldn't explain the warm feeling in his chest.

"This week – I know – I mean, I don't know what we'll find in L.A," his voice was low, a tired, make-no-effort voice. "But I've had this calm over me. It all seems far away – New York too. It's like some no-man's land. It's been almost like a road trip with our weird uncles. Like normal teenagers do."

Eiji laughed into Ash's hair.

"Weird uncles?"

"Ibe is yours, Max is mine."

"Oh yeah?"

"They're trying to be supportive of their sons coming out."

Eiji buried his face into Ash's shoulder to hide his giggling. The idea was starting to appeal to him – the running joke made him smile. It made his chest flutter in a way he was starting to enjoy. He was starting to want to believe the joke.

He opened his mouth to ask – if Ash had really meant it when he had said he would date Eiji – then he closed it. He didn't want to pop that bubble. He wanted to stay in this moment, with Ash's arm around him, still wondering if Ash's heart was racing like his was.

Some things it was better not to know.

So he stayed quiet, his fingers in a tangle with Ash's, watching the sun rise over some distant town, Banana Fish and L.A and New York all far, far away.