By Friday night, her last night before heading home, Chris was surprised to find that she wanted to stay longer. The Avenger team she'd gotten to know over the week weren't the usual crowd, and honestly not a lot different from her in that most of them weren't social butterflies and didn't really fit in outside their celebrity.
But they were a family and they took care of each other.
She sat with Wanda, Vision and Natasha, watching Sam, Steve, Bucky, Rhodey, and Tony play pool and have a pretty good time of it. Natasha and Tony kept making sly remarks about Bucky rarely coming out to socialize and what a nice change it was, shooting sideways glances at her. It was all good-natured, so Chris quietly played along.
Bucky shot her glances of his own, heated ones at that, and she'd winked at him a couple of times. Usually, she wasn't anywhere close to flirty. But she'd just had the best week of sex she'd had in her entire life because of him and she enjoyed watching his cheeks darken when she flirted with him.
More than once, she caught a pained glance from Steve. He was harder for her to understand and she was curious as to where he was coming from. He knew that Bucky had pretty much been living in her room since Tuesday. He knew what was going on. She expected anger or hurt but there was little she felt that was really negative.
Was he jealous? Chris thought he was. Thing is, she didn't know who he was jealous of. Bucky? Or her?
"I heard Tony offered you a job," Wanda told her at random.
Chris hummed, finished off her vodka. "He did."
"So, come work with us," Wanda told her. "We could use more players on the girls' team. You'd fit right in."
Natasha grinned. "It would make a lot of people happy if you stayed."
They both glanced over their shoulders at Bucky who was shooting at the moment.
Chris shook her head at them. She would be lying if she'd said she hadn't really enjoyed her time there at the compound, specifically with Bucky, but she had to keep her heart out of it. She wasn't in a place in her life where she was looking for the elusive fairy tale. She didn't think Bucky was either. At least not with her.
As she sat there listening to Wanda and Natasha tell stories on the guys, she watched how Steve and Bucky interacted around the pool table. Always aware of each other, always in sync with each other.
As if he could sense her gaze on him, Bucky glanced over at her, winking at her this time. Steve saw it, she watched his smile fade.
Chris was starting to see what was going on.
Tony, who'd had quite a bit to drink, began storytelling, telling Chris stories about Natasha, Clint, Steve, Bucky, Clint again (he wasn't there), and Wanda. Some took her breath away she laughed so hard. By the time the evening was winding down, she was tired and hot, heading out onto the balcony for a little cool air with a glass of water.
She felt his emotions before she turned to smile at him.
"Chris," he started. And oh, did it feel like he wanted to talk.
"What's up, Steve?" she asked gently.
"Last night here?"
"Last night," she confirmed.
"You could still take that job offer," he pointed out, his tone friendly. His smile didn't reach his eyes.
"But I won't," Chris told him. "I've really enjoyed this week, but my place is at the bureau."
"He's really enjoyed this week," Steve went there.
Chris blew out an exhale, setting her glass down on the table next to her. "I'm glad."
"It's been a long time since he's been so… " Steve walked to lean on the railing of the balcony. "It's been many years since he's been like this."
"Why?"
He cut her a look that said Really?
"Let me rephrase," Chris said, moving a little closer to Steve. "I'm just passing through. I'm glad our time together made him happy. It made me happy. But his sadness, his loneliness…"
Steve studied her for a long moment. "That's why I wanted to talk to you. I… think you could be good for him. I think you are good for him… Are you sure you won't consider that job?"
Wow. Steve loved his friend. So much he was out here trying to convince her to stay, wanting her to make Bucky happy. She might have been offended if she hadn't realized he was coming from a place where he was looking out for someone he loved.
Steve really did love Bucky. She thought she finally understood. After seeing the way Bucky had looked at Steve all week when he thought no on one noticed, she was pretty sure she was right.
Well, here goes nothing.
"I know I've only been here a few days but… I agree that he needs something. Maybe someone. I'm just not so sure it's me, Steve."
His face darkened, he turned his face away.
Oh, she was onto something.
"J-just think about it, okay?" he sounded so much smaller. He tried to head back for the balcony doors. She hooked her hand in his elbow to stop him. He let her.
"Steve," Chris said, waiting until he looked her in the eyes. "He loves you. He's in love with you. Surely you know that."
Those troubled blue eyes searched her face. "You… you see a lot."
At least he wasn't denying anything.
Chris let go of his elbow and shrugged. "It's not a talent I appreciate often," she admitted. "But once in a while it comes in handy. Like now."
Steve stood there before her, head down, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans.
"One parting thought," she told him. "Just… love him. Make him happy. Would it be so hard to be with him?"
The pain that crossed his face made her heart drop.
"It's not that easy," Steve said so quietly she could have missed it.
With that, he made his way back into the compound, running into Bucky who stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, a quiet murmur. When Steve nodded and walked on, Bucky turned that confused expression to her, walking to where Steve left her on the balcony.
"Everything okay, doll?" Bucky asked.
Chris nodded, smiling up at him.
Bucky was more perceptive than that.
"Did he say something to you?"
Chris felt his defenses rise, held up a hand.
"He just came to plead your case. That's all." It wasn't a lie. "He was telling me that he thought I should accept Tony's job offer and stay. He thinks I make you happy."
Casting a forlorn glance back inside, Bucky paused, and Chris realized she had the right of it.
Then he gently took her hand in his, flattening her palm over his chest just over his heart. The hope she felt emanating from him made her feel like she was breaking a little.
"You could," he said. "You fit in great here. And we could finally finish season 2."
Chris laughed at that. They'd binge-watched Stranger Things first season the first night and had attempted to start the second season each night since. It amounted to them seeing the first twenty minutes of the first episode of season 2 about four times now.
"There's that," she told him, looking him in the eye. "But I've got to go back, Bucky."
His gaze dropped, and he nodded, pulling back from her and walking to the railing next to her. He fell back on that tight control over his emotions, but it wasn't quick enough for her to miss the vulnerability there he was trying so hard to hide from her.
"Will you be back?" he asked without looking at her.
Honestly, she didn't know. But a relationship between the Avengers and her director had been forged so… "Maybe. And we can visit each other, right?"
When he did turn back around, he nodded. But it wasn't the same. She knew that.
Running his flesh hand through the thick locks of his hair, his gaze moved over her in a way that had her temperature rising fast. He was beautiful. And maybe the world had broken him to an extent, but he still had so much to give to someone.
Someone like Steve.
Chris knew if she stayed, she would just be a substitute for what he really wanted. Who he really wanted. She'd known that going into this and she needed to remember it if she wanted to keep the handsome rogue in front of her from stealing her heart.
Picking up her water glass, she took a long drink. "I think I'm going to turn in," Chris told him. "I'm tired."
Bucky nodded, followed her back inside and waited patiently while she hugged and kissed each Avenger left goodbye, in case she didn't see them in the morning. When she got to Steve, she was surprised that he allowed her to hug him. He hugged her so hard, he nearly compressed her ribs.
"Be careful out there, agent," Steve whispered in her ear.
"You too," she told him, feeling the weight of his gaze on her as she made her way back to the elevator.
Bucky was silent behind her, following her into the elevator, following her to her door, into the apartment.
The minute she locked the door, he grabbed her and slammed her against the door, nearly knocking the wind from her lungs as his mouth scorched a path over hers, over her neck. His hands worked frantically to haul up the skirt of the summer dress she wore. His flesh hand slid in between her thighs and he groaned to find her so wet already from his efforts. The metal hand ripped her panties off, tossed what was left somewhere behind him.
He gripped her thighs hard, pulling them up around his waist, and inserting himself between them as he slid her up the door, kissing the breath out of her as he did.
"I've wanted you so bad all fucking evening," he growled, the sound of the zipper of his jeans reaching her ears and making her body clench in anticipation. "I just want to keep you here, Chris."
And then he was pushing into her, filling her, thrusting with abandon as she cried out and grabbed onto his shoulders.
"With me, under me," he hissed before sealing his mouth over hers. It was a filthy kiss, all tongue and lust, and he kept it going as he grabbed her away from the door and carried her to her bed. Bucky dropped her on the bed, dropping his weight on her and pinning her beneath him.
When she pulled away to breathe, he didn't let up, capturing her wrists and pinning them to the bed on either side of her head. Bucky rode her hard until she started clenching around him, her orgasm slamming into her. With her hands out of play and his body pounding her into the mattress, she caught his shoulder with her teeth biting down as he fucked through wave after wave of pleasure.
Bucky growled at her in approval, grabbing one of her pillows and lifting her abruptly to shove it under her hips without breaking stride. The new angle had him hitting her g-spot now with every powerful thrust. Resuming his hold on her wrists, he wrecked her, relentlessly pounding into her as she wailed and cried out. The intensity of the second orgasm was like nothing she'd ever experienced before, taking her breath away as she felt his body tighten above her, having reached his own end.
Chris opened her eyes wanting to watch. Bucky was beautiful when he came. Pulling out of her at the last minute, he stroked himself quickly until his release shot out in hot white ropes on her shaking thighs.
Shaking as much as she was, Bucky collapsed at her side, throwing his metal arm across her waist and pulling her into him, his breath huffing into her hair. Once he had his breathing under control, he sat up, pulling off the Henley he wore, using it clean up her thighs. Stretching, she pulled the dress and her bra off, tossing them off the bed.
His emotions were a brewing storm and Chris found herself in unfamiliar territory. She hadn't lied when she said she didn't hook up with people often. She'd only ever had two other lovers. One had been her first love who'd left her with a broken heart and a sour outlook on romance. The second had been a comfortable friends-with-benefits arrangement she'd enjoyed for almost a year. Then Nick had found a vivacious, outgoing, girly girl and broke things off at record speed. Chris would admit that even though they'd made no promises to each other, it had still hurt. Made her wary of relationships of any type.
The feeling she read in Bucky's eyes made it hard to breathe. She knew he loved Steve, but that he had feelings for her too was obvious. Brutal honesty would probably be best, she knew. Chris wanted to tell Bucky that it had been fun but, because he was in love with Steve, she really didn't think it was a good idea to keep in touch.
Chris didn't have the heart to do that. The fondness in those dark blue eyes was warm, inviting, and a little heady. She didn't want to give him false hope, but she also didn't want to hurt him.
Especially not when he moved closer, pressing a gentle kiss to her mouth and whispered, "Stay."
Her heart clenched in her chest. The hope in his eyes doing so much more damage than the bullet ever did.
Chris turned on her side, slid her palm up his chest, his neck to his beautiful face. "I can't, Bucky. But we'll talk every day and we can visit each other, right?"
His eyes slid closed on a deep sigh. He pressed a kiss to her palm and when he reopened his eyes, she saw and felt his determination.
"Doll, I know we haven't known each other long, but I think… I like this. This is good, right? It feels right. At least to me."
Her heart cracked just a little bit more as she nodded.
"Just think about it," he pleaded with her. "I know you can't just uproot your whole life for a messed-up bastard like me but…"
"Don't do that." Chris was serious. "You're not a messed-up bastard and I won't listen to that."
Bucky nodded. "Just give me a chance to see you, to maybe… change your mind."
That last thought gave her hope. Time. Maybe Steve would think about what she said and act on it sooner rather than later. Maybe Bucky could have the love he wanted and all she had to do was hang on until it happened. Or until Bucky found someone else who, unlike her, would love him anyway, regardless of the fact that his heart had probably belonged to Steve for the better part of a century.
Chris nodded, hoping she was doing a decent job of keeping her own insecurities under his radar. It would be so easy to love him, so easy to give him what he thought he wanted to be happy.
She just knew she'd never survive eventually losing him when Steve came to his senses. And it was going to happen. Not if, when.
Easing herself closer to him, Chris tucked her head into his chest, draping an arm and a leg across him. If nothing else, she'd enjoy tonight. Bucky hummed happily, stroking his flesh hand through her hand and holding her.
Maybe they'd see each other again, maybe not. Her heart whispered that she wouldn't get rid of him that easily. As it turned out, her heart was very right.