Chris swore off relationships after that.

What was the point when they always ended badly?

It was only supposed to have been a fling and emotions weren't supposed to be involved.

But Chris had fallen for someone she shouldn't have fallen in love with - he loved someone else.

The day after Bucky and Steve had left her apartment, she'd been nursing a hangover and a broken heart. Both of them texted her ad nauseum, asking to see her. Asking for a chance to explain. Bucky begged her to talk to him, to see him. Steve begged for the same thing on Bucky's behalf.

Chris didn't answer either of them. After a couple of weeks, she got a new cell number and she knew exactly how to keep it hidden – even from Tony Stark. There was a reason he'd offered her a job after all.

She worked, she ate, she slept. She existed but it was a shit way to live.

She wished she'd never been sent to the Avengers compound.

Three months had passed when someone knocked on her door and her heart leaped into her throat. Looking through the door viewer, she found an Avenger. It was one she wouldn't have expected to show up at her door.

Shit.

At least she'd showered today, and her apartment was reasonably clean.

Blowing out an exhale, she opened the door.

Tony Stark's face lit up. "Hey, Chris. How are you?"

And he marched past her into her apartment.

"Please come in," she said sarcastically.

Tony plopped down on her couch, studying her. "Your hair is growing out. It's pretty."

"Thanks," Chris said with no enthusiasm or attempt to be friendly. "What do you want?"

"The direct approach, good," he started. "Chris, we need to talk."

Sitting in the chair across from him, she shrugged. "What about?"

"I think you have an idea," Tony told her. "I have an idea, but I haven't solved the entire puzzle yet. I'm hoping you can help me with that."

When Chris had nothing else to say, Tony went on. "Here's the thing. I'm like a co-leader of the Avengers Initiative, okay? And I'm having a problem with a couple of my team members."

"Bucky and Steve?"

"Got it in one," Tony told her. "As I understand it, well I don't understand it actually, but you had a thing with Barnes."

Chris had nothing to hide. "Correct."

"That didn't end well as I understand it," Tony pushed on.

"It was just supposed to end," Chris explained. "I was supposed to go back to the FBI, my life, and that was that."

"Yeah, you forgot to tell Barnes that," Tony told her.

"He knew," she whispered.

"You didn't lead him on in any way?" Tony asked.

Shit.

"That wasn't my intention," Chris said.

"You know what they say about the road to hell."

Chris sighed. "Okay, I didn't end it end it. I realize that I should have but there was a reason… I didn't want to hurt him."

"Dragging it out wasn't going to hurt him worse?" Tony wondered aloud.

"I didn't really think I was going to hurt him," Chris explained. "He's in love with… someone else. I knew that going in and that's why I tried to stay out of it emotionally. I was supposed to fade into the background and they were supposed to find each other. It just didn't work."

Tony nodded his understanding. "It never does, kid."

Then Tony thought about what she said. "Wait, who is Barnes in love with then if not you?"

Chris rolled her eyes. "Search your feelings, Luke."

"Star Wars reference," Tony caught on. "Wait." His eyes widened. "Cap? You think he's in love with Steve?"

"I know he is."

"Son of a bitch, a lot of things make sense now," Tony said. "Huh, you really are an empath."

"What?" That got Chris's attention. "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. Wanda picked it up that week you stayed with us. She would know." Tony stood, started pacing. "Okay, now everything is falling into place. I think."

"What makes sense?" She was afraid to ask.

"Well, I've got Barnes who was actually starting to come around to being somewhat normal, talking to people who aren't Steve, when you came along. Now he's all broody again. No, he's worse. He's not even talking to Steve now and that's where it becomes a problem. Steve leads missions but his head's not in the game. Maybe it's because you're right and he loves Barnes, not that there's anything wrong with that –"

Chris snickered at the Friends' reference.

"But for safety's sake, we need Steve with his head in the game. Did Steve break you two up?" Tony wanted to know.

"He showed up here," Chris told him. "There was a mission to South Africa and Bucky came here after it, looking for me. I didn't know he wasn't supposed to."

"He's supposed to stay at the compound." Tony stopped pacing. "That wasn't your fault or your responsibility to know that, Chris."

"Steve showed up," Chris told him. "Bucky got very upset and they got into a fight. I just… removed me from the situation. I learned I was right. They used to… love each other. Be together. My involvement was only going to make matters worse for them. You get that right?"

"It already did," Tony told her. "That's why I'm here."

"Why?" Chris asked, getting more frustrated by the minute. "They belong together, Tony. Get them to couples' counseling and that should take care of it."

"Maybe. Maybe what you're saying is true, Chris. But Barnes also wants you," Tony told her.

Chris shook her head. "I can't help you with that."

"Well, that's what I came here to make sure of," Tony kneeled in front of her, looking her in the eyes. "All you have to do is tell me that you don't feel anything for Barnes and you're off the hook. Done with the Avengers."

Chris couldn't hold the gaze, feeling her face heat up.

"See? That's very telling. That and the fact that all of your online behavioral patterns changed."

Her head snapped up. "Excuse me?"

"Your online behavioral patterns, all changed. You changed your phone number and everything." Tony rose to his feet. "Oh, you did a good job at work. Not saying that. But you stopped gaming, stopped shopping – as often. Your time online went down a full twenty-three percent. All strong indicators that someone is upset."

"You traced me?" Chris asked. "How is that your business?"

"The Avengers is my business," he replied. "As is anything that has an effect on them. And you do. And I think, you care about Barnes. Wanda thinks you have the hots for Steve too, but I'll take your word for it."

Christ, how did it get this far? Damn you, Wanda.

"So now what?" Chris wanted to know. "You came here to find out if I fucked up your team and I have. What are you going to do?"

Tony's smile was kind. His unique brand of snark was absent.

"I did offer you a job," Tony reminded her.

"I have a job," Chris told him. "I like working for the FBI."

"Working for me would be more fun," Tony mused. "But that's your choice. Offer is still open, by the way. But I guess I just want to ask for one thing."

"What?"

"Rogers wants to come to talk to you," Tony said. "He wants to apologize. Would you just do that?"

Come on. "What's that going to solve, Tony?"

"If it will help get his head back in the game and protect the lives of my team… see where I'm going with this?"

"How can either of them be that upset over me?"

"Don't sell yourself short, kid. Just… if you would just agree to talk to him, Chris, I would very much be in your debt." Tony's expression was so sincere.

It was surreal. Her idol here in her apartment. He'd offered her a job. He was begging her to talk to Captain America, the hero who was in love with the same man as her. You couldn't make this stuff up.

"You did fall for Barnes, didn't you?"

Tony pinned her with those dark eyes. Chris felt tears sting the backs of her eyes.

"Why is that? Why? It was one week. Less than a week, Tony. It doesn't make sense."

"Matters of the heart never do." Tony sighed. "Will you please talk to Steve?"

Chris didn't really see a way out of this.

"And if I do?"

"No more conditions." Tony held up his hands. "I'm just hoping that this talk can happen, and things can get resolved one way or another. Okay?"

Chris nodded. "Okay."

Standing, Chris let him pull her in for a hug.

"Thank you," he told her. He meant it. "And please just think about the offer. I really am way more fun than the bureau."

Chris had no doubt.

But her mind was on talking to Steve. She didn't even ask how it was going to be arranged.

She just hoped that she could get through it.

The next morning, at 0700 hours, she had a text from Steve. Tony had given him her new number.

Chris, thank you for agreeing to talk with me. I'll be in town tonight and I'll stop by at 1700 hours. Thank you. I'm looking forward to seeing you.

She wasn't sure she was ready for this… She didn't even answer.

Steve was five minutes early, the strong knock making her jump in surprise at 6:55. Taking a deep breath, Chris opened the door.

She was immediately grateful that she'd dressed up her jeans with a nice blouse and sandals, curled her hair. Steve looked incredible in his pristine white dress shirt and gray slacks. Clean shaven with his hair perfect, those warm blue eyes lit up as he took her in, his smile had her heart skipping a beat.

"Hi, Chris." From behind his back, he pulled an arrangement of colorful spring flowers and handed them to her. "May I come in?"

Jesus, did he think this was a date? What was he up to?

"Thank you," she said simply. "Yes, please come in."

Chris went to the kitchen, realizing she didn't have any sort of vase for the flowers. Grabbing a crystal pitcher she'd gotten as a gift but never used, she half-filled it with water and arranged the flowers there. She could feel him standing behind her, his emotions were all over the place, running the gamut from nervousness to hope to…

Desire?

"We could go out for dinner if you like," Steve offered in a warm tone. "If you'd be more comfortable."

Chris turned around to face him, folding her arms across her chest. "Tony said you wanted to talk. Let's talk."

Chris led him back to her living room, taking a seat in the chair across from her couch and directing him there.

Steve took a seat, his gaze meeting hers.

"Chris, more than anything I wanted a chance to tell you that I'm sorry," he began. "Yeah, Bucky wasn't supposed to be here, but you didn't know that, and I handled it so badly in coming here as I did."

She didn't look away. She full-on took her shields down, wanting the full impact of his emotions. She wanted to know what was really going on here.

"Why did you come here in the way you did, Steve?" Chris asked.

Dread. Anxiety. Resignation.

Chris stopped to consider for a moment that Steve had lost a lot too. When he'd gone into the ice to stop Schmidt's plans, he'd lost a woman he'd once loved, his friends. His time period. Worse, on some level, he thought he deserved the losses.

"Honestly?" he asked. "I was jealous, Chris. Of you. You were right. And I hated that you got to be with him and I didn't."

He was telling the truth.

Hope.

"But, if I'm going to be honest, I'll admit that I was jealous of him too. Not like that was something new. When we were young, the girls always went for Buck instead of me and sometimes in my head, I still consider it that way. I wouldn't even stop to analyze why you'd choose him over me."

And that was the truth too. Her heart sped up.

"So how did that work back then?" Chris asked because she could at this moment. "You dated girls back then too?"

Steve's cheeks flushed pink but he didn't break eye contact. It was almost as if he realized she was reading him and he wanted to prove to her that everything he was saying was true.

"Yeah, well, Bucky did," he admitted. "Until I took Erskine's serum, no girl ever looked at me twice. Not until Peggy."

It was interesting.

"Neither of us is gay," Steve explained. "But being gay back then wasn't… Bucky didn't just date girls so people wouldn't realize he and I were… We did, and do, find women very attractive. We were both really attracted to you. You chose Bucky, that's fair. And I behaved badly."

Chris huffed out a sigh. "Can't say I really chose either of you. Bucky… I don't do relationships well. I've only really had two and one was more of a friends-with-benefits kind of thing, you know?"

"Because you're an empath?" Steve asked, eying her carefully.

"I owe Wanda for that," she said with a chuckle.

"Does it bother you that people know that?"

"Yes," Chris admitted. "The bureau doesn't even know about it. I'm good at hiding it. Normally. It's the reason why I've only had a couple of relationships and why I work on the internet as opposed to working with flesh and blood people. It just… it can hurt. So bad sometimes."

"I can understand that," Steve told her.

"Bucky knows too?"

Steve nodded.

"How is he?" Chris asked carefully.

Raking a hand through his blonde hair, Steve dropped his gaze to the floor before looking up.

"He's not… He's still mad at me. Hasn't talked to me unless he absolutely had to in weeks."

Chris sat forward, wrapping her arms around herself and planting her elbows on her thighs.

"Steve, I'm so sorry. This is my fault. All my fault."

"How do you figure?" Steve asked, and he really was confused.

"Because all I had to do was tell him no," Chris told him, knowing he might just think she was a terrible person but truth was best. "All I had to do was leave him alone. I knew there was something between the two of you. I sensed something even though I didn't know exactly what it was. I should have just left him alone and if I had… "

"Chris, hey, don't do that to yourself," he began, worry edging his expression.

"Why not? My intentions were terrible, Steve. I just wanted a fling. Easy sex, you know? Both of you are drop-dead gorgeous. If you'd hit me up first, I would have slept with you no doubt. I'm not proud of it, but that's the truth. See, even if I don't enjoy all of the emotional angst because it's so amplified, it doesn't mean I don't still have needs or want to make a physical connection."

"You're human," Steve told her. "That doesn't make you a bad person, Chris."

"It does when I hurt him, ruined his progress, and hurt things between the two of you," Chris told him. "You want to know why I've been avoiding you? I wasn't angry at you. I was angry at myself. You two love each other and what if I've destroyed that? What if I've ruined your chances to be with the one you were meant to be with? You've been through a lot. Considering what he's been through, how can I forgive myself for that? How could I do that to him?"

Steve's eyes grew suspiciously shiny.

"What if you're hurting him now but not for the reasons you think?" he asked.

Chris shook her head at him. "Stark tried to tell me that. He thinks Bucky has feelings for me. I think he wanted my love as a substitute while he waits for you."

More color in his handsome face.

"I'm so sorry, Steve," Chris told him, feeling the tears coming on. "I hope in time you can forgive me. I hope he can forgive me."

Steve eased himself to the floor, taking a seat at her feet. The heat of him, his presence, sent tingles all through her. He took one of her hands in his, his large hand swallowing hers. But the warmth was so comforting.

"I'm as responsible for this mess as you are," he told her, looking up into her face. "He's hurting, Chris. He's closed himself off. He won't let me be there for him. Acts like he can't stand the sight of me."

"Why?" Chris asked him. "Why have you never… You were lovers once. Why can't you be that for him again? Why? It's got to be a better climate now than it was in the forties."

"It is," Steve told her. "It's just… "

Regret. Regret. REGRET.

His emotions led her to the answer he wouldn't say.

"You blame yourself," Chris told him, tears sliding down her face. He wasn't denying it." You think it's your fault he fell from the train. That HYDRA captured and tortured him. Steve! No. That's not your fault. Do you understand me?"

A lone tear slid down his cheek and with her free hand, she swiped it away.

"He loves you, Steve," Chris pleaded Bucky's case again. "He needs you. Don't use guilt for what you couldn't control to punish him further."

And with that Steve leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her waist and sobbing into her lap. Harsh, ugly sobs pulled from him and Chris's heart broke. How long had he been carrying around this burden? Years. This beautiful heroic man was reduced to a sobbing mess on her lap and all she could do was hold him, sliding her fingers through his hair.

"I should have gone back for him, Chris," he whispered brokenly. "I should have at least tried to recover his body. I didn't even try. He wasn't dead."

"Steve, there's no way you could have known. No way," she whispered, holding him as best she could.

They stayed that way for a long time until Chris ended up humming some song she hadn't heard since childhood, trying to do anything that would make Captain America not broken anymore.

When he finally started to come around, he swiped at his face with his hands. It was so hard to see Steve's beautiful blue eyes swollen and red from his tears.

"Steve," Chris waited until his gaze met hers. "You have to stop this now. You have to go to him and love him. He will forgive you and he deserves no less."

Steve grabbed both of her hands in his now, still partly in her lap.

"I do want to go to him, Chris," Steve said slowly. "I'm tired of fighting it. But…"

Chris' heart hurt for him. And that's when she felt the hesitation. The anxiety. Was there something else?

"I understand why… he fell in love with you –"

"Me? No, Steve –"

"Let me finish," Steve cut her off. "I used to think he loved Peggy like I did when we were all together. Turns out they never really loved each other like that but they both loved me, so it was enough."

"Peggy? Carter?" Chris asked. What was he saying exactly?

"Peggy and I loved each other," Steve told her. "Probably would have married her if I hadn't… When we got together I was still with Bucky. I fought my feelings for her because I didn't want to betray him even though he always told me he could share me with the right woman. Turns out he wasn't lying to me. Peggy confronted him and he told her truth where I couldn't. She was okay with sharing too… There were nights when…"

"The three of you were together?" Chris offered, a little surprised.

Steve nodded. He was just waiting for her to judge him.

"How did that go?" Chris wondered.

"They were the happiest days of my entire life until he died…" Steve said, his voice failing him under the threat of tears.

That's when it occurred to her why he was there. What he really wanted.

"Wait," Chris began, "you –"

"I know it's a long shot, Chris," Steve told her, looking her in the eye. "Maybe all you wanted was a fling with him and you didn't feel the same way and you're done now. I know you want to keep working for the FBI. But if you love him… and maybe in time, you could love me or even just share him with me, well, maybe we could make Bucky very happy."

Chris gazed into his eyes. He was dead serious. He'd gone so far as to get Tony to give him a chance to speak to her, to do this for Bucky. He put everything out there, on the line for the man he loved.

She loved Bucky too.

"Just think about it," he begged her. "It's asking a lot. I d-don't expect an answer right now."

Chris blew out an exhale. "I know he's not the type to give a damn what people think. But I do have one question for you."

Steve waited patiently. Hopefully.

"How is that going to work where you're concerned? Would it be a big secret? Would it look like he and I were together, and you came to play here and there?"

Steve smiled nervously. "I'm willing to share him with you but I won't give him to you."

"Meaning?"

"I don't care what anyone thinks, Chris," he said fiercely. "We lost so much already. So fucking much. I should have taken the risk before now. I should have… But maybe now, I can – we can give him the love he wants."

Chris nodded, feeling like her entire world had been upended. It was an angle she would never have even thought of. Loving both of them? Sharing Bucky with Steve? How could she go from being someone so gun shy about relationships with one man to a relationship with two of them?

The sex with Bucky had been so good though. She missed that. Out of bed. he'd been so caring with her, so sweet.

And Steve? You simply didn't find someone like him in this time. Someone who really was that honest, that genuine.

It was a surprising proposition from Steve. It almost made it even more tempting.

"Can I… have some time?" Chris asked.

Steve nodded, his feelings of hope doubled. "All the time you need."

Steve headed for her bathroom, washing off his face and straightening his clothes. His hands were in his pockets when he walked back to stop in front of her chair.

"Let me take you out for dinner," he offered. "Then I'll head back."

That Steve had no expectations led her to know how sincere his intentions were. She nodded and soon they were heading out for a nice meal like old friends and nothing more about the matter was said. When they got back to her apartment, he kissed her on the cheek and told her goodnight, like an old-fashioned date and it had her heart clenching in her chest.

Chris promised herself she wouldn't let these two super-soldiers and this proposition from Steve Rogers himself take anything away from her life while she reached a decision.

The sad truth was, she could think of little else.