So I've officially decided to continue this story. No real clue what I'm doing, but I'm doing it. This should be seven to eight chapters long all told when I'm done. Please note that if you're looking for a battle against Thanos, this story isn't it. I have no plans on writing a battle here. Not what I'm after. He's essentially been reduced to a plot device at this point.
We're all mad here.
-Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonerland
Tony can feel eyes on him the next morning as he sips his cup of coffee. He lets them. For one thing – coffee. For another thing – if they want answers than they are going to have to man up and ask for themselves. He's tired of doing all the heavy work around here.
As the silence draws out he debates whether he really should throw them a bone and start the conversation. It's not hard to figure out what they want to ask after all. But no, if he continues to give them an inch they will continue to take a mile. He wasn't joking about it being a long six months. No matter how well they worked together for that first battle, they are still six very different people with six very different personalities and issues. There was bound to be an adjustment period. Still is, from the way things are going.
And to think he once thought it would be a good idea to house the team in the Tower. Ha! Oh how the naive fall.
People might laugh if Tony complained about him being the emotional support. Tony Stark does not do emotions after all. He has said so himself. Frequently in fact. But he is also a provider at heart. He likes making people happy. (And making sure they stay, but that is a whole other issue right there.) Someone who cares too hard and too fast. And isn't that fun to deal with on top of his trust issues?
He likes people, he wants people to call his own and to have his back, but he doesn't trust them. Just look at how well that turned out with Obie – Stane. What a mess. A Hot Mess TM. His picture is beside the definition in the dictionary. Doesn't stop him from trying. Sometimes though, he gets tired of it. It drains the life out of him. Sometimes though, others have to meet him half where there – one way or another.
So Tony waits.
It takes until he is half way through his second cup for Romanov to start, "Good to see you are still in one piece Stark."
How very encouraging that. As if yesterday was some kind of ordeal that he had to go through. He shrugs, but keeps silent.
"Then again maybe not," Rogers jokes, trying for light, but not quite making it, "if you aren't talking yet."
Tony flashes him his best media smile. "Don't worry Cap, the cat didn't steal my tongue. Or the bird in this case. Reindeer? Hmm, tell me, which animal does Loki remind you most of? For scientific purposes only of course."
"I'd say cat is right," Banner answers as he walks into the room to join the other two. He nods in greeting and begins the process of making tea for himself. Because he is a savage like that.
No question about what he is referring to either. The 'bag of cats' comment he made that first time on the helicarrier without a doubt.
Tony considers it. Crazy implication aside, he can definitely see some similarities between Loki and a cat. Both regal, doing the exact opposite of what you want, silent on their feet. He'd mention affectionate only when they choose to be too, but he has no idea how Loki deals with that. He has no reason to show his stomach to a room of hostiles, as it were. Still, he can see it. How lucky for him that he is a cat person then.
"Everything went alright yesterday?" Banner asks as he waits for the water to warm.
Well give the man a gold star for asking out right. Tony was beginning to think that no one was. "Of course everything went alright yesterday. I talked to Barton about his arrows, Dum-E pestered Lokes about his screwdriver collection, everything was fine. What did you think was going to happen? Some kind of explosion or something? Honestly it's like you don't know me at all."
"You started poking me as soon as we met," Banner says dryly.
"You're point?" Tony shrugs. He still stands by what he said then too. A brilliant mind like that shouldn't hide the way he does. There are worse things in life than turning into a giant green rage monster occasionally.
"What are you making explode?" Barton asks as he and Loki walk into the room.
"Nothing yet, but wait a couple hours and ask me again. Morning Katniss, Regulus."
Loki frowns at him.
"Remind me to show you Harry Potter later. Watch? Read? Do you prefer books or movies? Because I like the movies myself, but it is an absolute crime what they did to Ginny you know? Attack of the zombie ginger, way better in the books. But visually they do a good job. So? Or both. We can totally do both if you want."
"I still don't know how you do that man," Barton answers instead, "Did you train or something not to have to breathe as much? Because you take babbling to a whole other level."
"Regulus Black?" Romanov asks, "Funny I thought he'd be more of a Tom Riddle after everything."
"Shows what you know," he waves her off carelessly, "Well? Wait, or have you seen them already? I know we did a Tolkien marathon so you know that, but did you get to Harry Potter yet then?"
"I have not. And I prefer books, thank you."
Tony nods. "Right well JARVIS can load them onto your StarkPad for you then." He sneaks a look at the others, just to see their reaction. There is an unanimous expression of 'what the hell' on all of their faces, even if each person expresses it differently.
"Are you feeling okay Stark?" Rogers asks tentatively.
Oh boy, here they go now. Tony makes sure to roll his eyes as blatantly as he can. "Never better Brooklyn. Especially after that sip of the fountain of youth I had."
Rogers jerks at that. "Did you actually-"
"Stark-" Romanov says.
"Oh my god," Tony groans, interrupting them, "do I need to start wearing my sarcasm sign again. You know, the bright neon monstrosity that blinks when I'm being sarcastic. I didn't think you guys missed it so much."
Rogers winces at the mere mention. The others aren't far behind, but it was worse for him. Apparently super senses have their downsides. He couldn't look at Tony directly for almost two months. By then he had thought they had gotten the message, but obviously not. Well he can't be right about everything. Or that's what he's been told at least.
He's still waiting for the moment to happen.
"We just want to make sure," Banner says mildly.
"Great idea," Tony snorts, "start pestering your landlord, see how far that gets you."
That gets him a kicked puppy look from Rogers, but he heroically ignores it. Mostly because he doesn't believe it. Not at all. Rogers may not be using them intentionally, but well, that's also not something Tony believes. Not completely.
He may have heard all the Captain America stories as a kid, but all that means is he heard just how much of a little shit Rogers was. Literally. And then not so literally. Point is, Howard may have been too busy singing Cap's praises to see the flaws in the stories, but Tony was not. Steve Rogers is like that feisty little puppy, even after he got the serum. Tony may or may not have almost wet himself from laughter the first time he heard Howard describe him as the 'perfect soldier'. Worth the abuse he got for the reaction. Absolutely.
Barton throws an arm around him. "Don't worry tin head, I still love you." He flutters his eyelashes ridiculously in his direction.
"My faith in humanity is renewed," he says solemnly.
Barton cackles. Honest to god cackles as he holds onto Tony for balance.
And maybe the reaction is a little overdone compared to the joke, but it makes Tony grin nonetheless. Sure he pretends to be exasperated, hip checking him, but he's secretly delighted. It's always good to have someone laugh at your jokes, no matter how bad they may be. That is the sign of a good match right there.
He quirks an eyebrow at how Loki's exasperation does not look faked. At all. There is an air of 'why me' about him. It makes him snicker. Poor thing, of all the people that could have attached themselves to him, it was Barton. The one everyone always underestimates.
Then again, maybe that is a good thing. Annoying though it may be, Tony has always found it useful as well. Because one never knows when it will be needed.
There's something almost funny about it too. Tony is a genius. He built his first circuit board at four years old. He was one of the youngest CEOs of a Fortune 500 company. He took the Company to heights Howard never could have dreamed of. But instead of remembering that, they assumed he was a bratty little playboy partier who never took anything seriously. Idiots. Still, useful. They never see you coming that way.
Barton finally stops, wiping his eyes. "Good one."
"Please tell me I can blame that on something logical like sleep deprivation or a sugar high." The latter more likely than the former.
But Barton dashes those hopes before they can fully form. "Nope, sorry, that's just the full Clint Barton experience."
"Super." He turns to Romanov, "And you haven't stabbed him yet after all these years why?"
She hums. "Who says I haven't?"
Tony huffs. Alright smart ass, there is only room for one in this Tower and it's him. He owns the building after all. Well, all but twelve percent of the building. "Why haven't you stabbed him fatally yet?" he corrects.
"He grows on you after a while."
Tony turns to pointedly look at Barton who is still draped across him. In more ways than one obviously. "Good to know. Well," he refills his cup one last time and turns his smile back on, "good chat and all, but I have paperwork to complete before Pepper eats my soul. You coming spider monkey?"
"You are willingly going to do paperwork?" Romanov asks, disbelief clear in her voice.
Tony resists the urge to bite something back at her. Just because she knows how much he despises it – from her lovely venture as his PA – doesn't mean she can use that now. Not if she isn't going to use the rest of her other information correctly. Whether she actually believes it or whether it was an attempt at reverse psychology, doesn't matter. She still invaded his space at the worst time and used that against him. Well one of the worst times. Top five at least. Fortunately Barton saves him from answering.
He gasps in horror. "Did you just Twilight me?"
"No?" he resists the urge to grimace at the thought, "Legolas why on Earth would you think that? The vampires sparkle for gods sake. It's terrible, Plus, you know, the whole Edward is a creepy stalker thing. I do respect you enough not to Twilight you."
"Thank goodness for that. I can't imagine my nicknames if you didn't." He throws himself up onto Tony's back. "Onward!" he points to the elevator.
Tony is able to support him for the simple fact that he felt the move coming in Barton's shift. "I should drop your ass," he mutters, but moves anyways. He throws a wave over his shoulder. "Catch you crazy kids later. Try not to break anything I can't fix within fifteen minutes." And what does it say about his life that he has to specify that. He'd love to say not to break anything at all, but he'd rather save his breath. Some days it is like living in a frat house he swears.
"Coming sunshine?" he asks.
Loki is already following without prompting. As the elevator closes behind them he asks, "Are any of your conversations suppose to make sense? Or are they all encoded with Midgardian culture?"
Tony shrugs as well as he can with Barton still on his back. Which is surprisingly a lot if unless you realize just how good of shape Tony is in. He's no super soldier or god, but he gets by. "It happens. But do yourself a favor and don't look Twilight up. Some things aren't worth the curiosity."
Loki smirks, leaning casually against the wall. "You say things like that, but it only makes me want to do the opposite."
"At least it isn't Fifty Shades of Grey," Barton says.
Tony groans. "Why? Why would you do that? No, absolutely not, can you even imagine? I mean – no, wait, I change my mind. You ever want to read that flaming piece of garbage and I'll bring the alcohol and we can read it out loud. It's like a train wreck, it's terrible, but you can't look away. And better endured drunk."
"As if any thing on this planet is enough to get me drunk," Loki scoffs.
"Is that a challenge I hear? I think it is. Challenge accepted Reggie."
Loki scowls at him. "I am destined to now deal with your absurd names, am I not?"
"Afraid so cupcake. I do them with love after all."
"I am regretting my decision already."
Tony laughs and walks into his workshop. "Too late now sugar snap, I have a strict no refund policy. You're stuck with me now." He makes his way over to the table, Barton still on his back. Whatever, he gets too heavy and Tony will kick him off.
"Oh joy." Loki looks as thrilled as he ever does. That is to say, not at all.
As soon as Dum-E spots Loki he makes his way over. Obviously someone has developed a bit of a crush. The fact that Loki seems to be indulging the bot is not going to help things. At all. If Loki isn't careful he is going to have a shadow of his own following him around. And that isn't an adorable thought. Nope, not at all. It's not enough to melt his nonexistent heart or anything. How could anyone get that idea?
He watches as Dum-E carefully shows off his latest project of wires. He's trying to detangle them. It's not going well. Still Loki is right there, watching attentively. Pictures. He is definitely going to print out pictures one of these days. It will be worth it, even if Loki is likely to kill him for it.
"Any reason you decided to hitch a ride then?" he asks as he pulls up the schematics of the newest StarkPhone. Paperwork can wait till later. Plus this is technically on his to do list as well. Not as high up as the forms he needs to sign, but he can get to those later. Right now he is rather preoccupied with something else.
"You looked comfortable?" Barton answers in more of a question than anything else.
Tony snorts. "First my ass, now this. Is there something you aren't telling me there birdbrain?"
"I already confessed my love to you. What else do you need, my dying oath of loyalty?"
"It would be a start." He says it as a joke, but a small hidden part means it. Because wouldn't it be nice not to have to worry about at least one person never betraying him. Still, it's unrealistic and pathetic so he viciously shoves the thought away, "I am high maintenance you know."
"Man, people these days, no love at all." He proceeds to drape himself even further against Tony. "You give a little and they take a lot."
Tony does his best not to flinch in guilt at that. Is that what he's doing? He wasn't joking about being high maintenance. He knows he is. Just another reason that he has a tendency to over do it with his presents. Obviously they are going to need something big to put up with him for however long. Or is he being oversensitive again and Barton was just making a general statement?
"It would seem that people are selfish by nature," Loki says from where he is sitting. Now he is surrounded by all three bots. Butterfingers and U have clearly decided to help Dum-E with his project. It's going only slightly better from what he can see of it. "wherever they hail from. Be they Aesir or Midgardian that aspect does not appear to change."
And there is Tony's daily philosophy then from their resident god. Is this going to become a thing then? "Survival of the fittest and all that crap," he agrees as he begins his work. "No seriously, are you going to stay up there all day?"
"You kicking me off yet?"
"Not yet." He's still fine, not getting in the way of his work or anything.
"Then no." Barton sounds absolutely delighted.
Tony just shakes his head and continues. This is apparently going to be more interesting than he originally thought it was. Alliances are one thing. This seems to be shaping up into something else. Should be fun – til someone gets thrown out a window that is. And Tony isn't planning on it being him this time either.