CHAPTER EIGHT

I didn't wait around for Alice to berate me. I already knew what she had to say, and I wasn't disagreeing with her but there would be plenty of time for that later. I needed to get to that party. I had visions of Bella being taken advantage of in her fragile state. I had never been to a fraternity party before but from what I had witnessed from American movies, it did not seem like this party would be tame.

I made it to fraternity row and it seemed that there were several parties happening. It was getting close to Halloween, so each house was expertly decorated. I hurried along looking for the Theta Chi letters, happy that my knowledge of the Greek language was finally doing some good.

After the long row, I managed to find the party at the last house. It was already hurting my ears just being near proximity. I watched as a couple of guys drunkenly fell over the mock gravestones on the front lawn, spilling their drinks as they went.

I ran towards the door but there was someone standing there blocking my entrance.

"No costume, no entrance." A girl dressed as what I could only assume was some kind of medical assistant blocked the door.

"Uh…I am…" I searched for an idea looking down at my clothes. "A paymaster."

The girl looked confused but let me pass along through. I frantically searched the party but there were so many people and the fact that everyone was in costume did not help. I couldn't imagine that Bella would dress up. Did she even own a costume?

I pushed my way through, my sweater getting soaked from drunken people spilling foul smelling concoctions on me. The loud music blaring throughout the house was giving me a headache. I was worried how long my search was taking me that I began to devise a plan to empty the house of all the residents when I caught sight of her.

I skid to a halt and my jaw dropped open to see Bella not only wearing a revealing outfit but maybe the most revealing outfit at the party. There was some guy grinding up on her and pawing at her body. I saw red!

I pushed my way to her, not stopping at the protests from the people in front of me as I pushed them aside.

"Bella!"

She looked over at me with a drink in her hand and rolled her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" She asked disinterestedly.

I went closer to her and to try to maneuver my way in front of the guy grabbing at her.

"You shouldn't be here. Please…come home with me," I implored.

"What are you, her boyfriend?" The guy I had pushed aside asked.

"NO!" Bella yelled.

"Then step aside and wait your turn," The guy pulled me back from Bella and shoved me to the side.

"I am not someone you want to mess with!" I hissed.

The guy let out a laugh, "What are you going to do about it, Belvedere."

Bella pulled me back and got in between.

"Go home, Edward! I am not your problem…your friend…I am nothing to you," she said and then took another drink.

"Bella…that's not true. Please…you don't want to do this."

Bella reached out a hand and caressed my hair pulling me in closer. She pulled back and smiled softly at me. The smell of her breath reeked of all she had drunk before I could get there. I could see her trying to remain balanced.

"I'm just doing what you told me to do," she said. "Too bad you weren't here sooner. The things we could've done."

Bella pulled away from me and then reached out to grab the hand of the thug that had been grinding on her. He pulled her to the stairs and she followed along willingly. I stood there unsure of what I should do. My mind ran wild. I had to fight for her. Carry her out of there if she didn't see reason. She was in no state to be making this decision.

I chased her on up the stairs through the people and once again reached out for her.

"No! I can't allow you to do this. You aren't in your right mind," I yelled over the music.

She pushed me off her forcefully.

"YOU DON'T GET TO TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE!" She screamed. "You had your chance, Edward!"

The guy pulled Bella into a bedroom and stood between her and I. He yelled out to his fraternity brothers and it was a matter of seconds before I was surrounded and being lifted and pulled from the party. Once outside they threw me down on the grass and yelled various threats in my direction.

If I had felt low before, it was nothing compared to how I felt now. Bella was in there being taken advantage of. She was seriously intoxicated and not in her right mind to make the decision to sleep with that guy. Deep down I knew I sounded ridiculous. People every day went out and drunk themselves into a stupor before finding a random person to warm their bed. It was because I knew that Bella did not want this that caused me to want to fight.

I sat on the curb hoping that Bella would come out eventually, but it was well after three a.m. when I figured that she must be spending the night. I called Alice and told her I had failed. I guess hearing the emptiness in my voice caused her to not ask any questions. Alice said she would go back to the dorm room and wait for Bella to come home. I didn't want to go home because I knew I would just lie in bed and have images race through my mind of all the horrid potentials that could happen.

Just as I stood up from the curb to begin the long walk home, I heard a ruckus from behind me.

"I don't think we have a live one, boys!"

A chorus of laughter ensued, and I looked over to see the guy that Bella went with, carrying her down the steps and dropping her to the ground like she was no more than trash. I ran over to her.

"All hail, King James," The guys chanted.

"I told you, you could have her when I was done. Got her good and warmed up for ya!"

I whirled around and slugged the guy so hard that he fell backwards and knocked out cold on the steps. I could see his fraternal order begin to advance on me.

"SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL CALL THE COPS ON EVERY SINGLE PERSON HERE!" I roared.

It was enough to get them to back off as I held up my cellphone as a threat. I looked back down at Bella and appraised her. She was missing her shoes and the skirt she had worn so I took off my sweater and pulled it over her head and slide her arms through. I picked her up, holding her close to my body and walked down the long street. It was clear I wouldn't be able to walk the whole distance back to the condo and I had no idea where her dormitory was, so I stopped and put her down on some grass before whipping my phone out to call a taxi-car.

I kept my arms around her for warmth. It took only ten minutes for the car to arrive and I was thankful that the driver had the heater blowing. When we arrived at the condo, I immediately took her to my room and placed her under the covers on her stomach hoping it would warm her up quickly. I pulled a trash can out and placed it beside the bed. I knew I shouldn't stay with her. When she woke up I didn't want her thinking that I wanted to take advantage of her, but I didn't want her to be alone just in case she got sick and needed aid, so I pulled up the chair from the corner and sat down trying to find comfort.

I did not think that sleep would ever find me that night. With the chair not being forgiving and Bella a few feet in front of me, I thought I was in for a long night. However, I was awoken just a few short hours later by groans and heaving. When I realized where I was and what had transpired, I jumped out of my chair to get to Bella who was vomiting all over my bed. Between her cries, it just kept coming. I placed a gentle hand on her back and tried to pull her hair out of the path of the vile contaminants but from the feeling on my fingers, I had not made it in time.

I searched for the trash can and she pulled it out of my hands, stumbling in her attempts to get out of the bed.

"I've got you," I assured her.

"Bathroom," She muttered.

I walked her to the bathroom. The sun was coming up, so the path was lit. Bella found her way to my toilet and sat down hugging the seat. I scratch the back of my neck feeling thoroughly embarrassed that since I had arrived I hadn't the chance or know how to clean the toilet properly. I went back to my room to search out a clean blanket for her to sit on, so she didn't have to endure the cold tiled floor. When I returned, Bella began to vomit once again into the toilet. I folded the blanket and focused on getting her small body onto it while trying to ignore the smell. It wouldn't do anyone any good if I began switching off with her.

When she was finished, she slumped down into the corner with her eyes closed. I searched for something to say.

"I'm sorry," She muttered softly.

I shook my head even though she wasn't looking at me.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

She gave a short laugh, "Let me count the ways…"

"Really Bella, you have nothing to apologize for. I am the one who should apologize. I treated you horribly. I said things that I will never forgive myself for. I should have stopped you. You were drunk. I was sober. I could have done more but I allowed this to happen. First with my words and then with my actions…"

"Okay. Okay," She said waving me off. "Please don't talk anymore. My head is pounding, and I am trying to focus on not throwing up."

"Let me get you something. Some aspirin?"

She nodded.

I stood up and searched my bathroom cabinets for some medicine.

"Let me get you some water," I said leaving the bathroom.

I went out to the refrigerator to grab a couple of bottles of water. On the way back to my room I stopped at Jasper's door and opened it wondering if he was there. The bed was made so it seems he must have stayed over with Alice. I needed to call her and let her know that I had Bella with me. I shouldn't worry her needlessly.

I pulled out my phone and decided to send a text message so that I wouldn't wake them. By the time I went back to the bathroom, I could hear the shower on, so I decided to wait. I looked around and thought I should clean up the bed. The only problem was, I had used up all my sheets. The condo came with three sets for the room but since I was unaware of how to wash them, I kept putting it off. Now my choice was to leave the bed completely bare or pull out some dirty sheets.

I pulled off the sheets that Bella had vomited on and carried them a foot away from me to the trash can in the kitchen. I dumped them in and then pulled out the trash bag and tied it off, so the smell wouldn't ruin the place.

I pulled out all the extra blankets from the hall closet and decided to use them to cover my bed in the meantime. I was just finishing up when I heard Bella from behind.

"Edward…"

I turned to look at her and she was wrapped in a towel. I had to take a breath and force myself to not imagine what was under it.

"I…can I borrow something to wear?"

I snapped out of my crude fantasies and went straight to my bureau to pull out a t-shirt and some pants. I handed them to her and she retreated into the bathroom. I stood there in the middle of the room unsure of what to do with myself and feeling thoroughly awkward in my own room. What was going to happen now? Would she want to leave? Have some breakfast? I couldn't cook very well so I didn't think food positioning on top of hangover was a good idea but maybe I could have some food delivered. The cost would cut into my plane fare savings but…

Plane fare?

For the first time in weeks I didn't want to think of going back home. I had been so focused on school and work as a way to pass the time until I made enough to come up with the funds to return back home and now that I was well on my way to have the amount needed, I didn't want to go.

Bella walked back in and all notions of money and plane tickets vanished. She sat down on the bed and looked around.

"Aspirin!" I nearly shouted at her.

Bella jumped startled.

"I already took it," She replied.

I looked around once more wondering what I should do.

"I'm really sorry about your bed. If it makes you feel any better, I am so incredibly embarrassed."

She shied away, and I could see her face blush.

"It's okay. Truly. I just wish I had some clean sheets to put on it. I'm such a prat. I haven't washed sheets since I arrived. I…haven't the courage to ask Jasper how to do that yet. Every time I ask him for help, he mocks me and laughs…talks of some reality television program…"

I felt like I was a babbling brook, incapable of never ending.

"Oh…wow, I'm really sorry now. I ruined your only sheets. I'll buy you new ones."

"No, please don't. Besides they aren't my only set. I had three sets. To be honest, it's been a miracle that I managed to make the bed. I will wash the other sets of sheets later. The blankets are clean by the way. If you were tired still."

Bella looked down at the bed.

"I am tired, but I should probably get home before Alice comes back and finds me missing. She'll freak."

"Alice is at the dorms with Jasper. When I went after you last night, Alice said she would stay there just in case you came home. I texted her to let her know that you were with me."

Bella placed her head in her hands and rubbed her temples.

"She will harass me until I tell her what happened. I don't want to deal with her right now. I already feel horrible enough," She said.

"Why don't you get some sleep. You can stay as long as you like."

I stood up from the bed and Bella laid back down and turned over. Just as I got to the door I could hear her softly crying. I knew I should leave her alone. I could only imagine what she was crying about but after everything I had done, I needed to stay so I turned back around and went to sit back down on the foot of the bed.

"Bella," I whispered.

"I'm sorry…I…"

"Please don't say you're sorry. I promise that you have nothing to be sorry for. You don't have to tell me what is going on. But I am just going to sit here so that you're not alone."

She attempted to slow her breathing and tears. Wiping her face, she turned back to look at me.

"Yesterday…" She stopped trying to find the words. "A year ago, yesterday, my dad was killed in the line of duty."

She looked away and tried to hide her tears. Her revelations were like a knife to my heart. She was dealing with something major and then I went and made it worse by telling her that she had nothing to live for.

I was speechless. How could I ever begin to make up for my words and actions?

"He was a sheriff and one of his…friends killed him because as it turns out his friend was a dirty cop and my father stood in the way. I'm telling you this because I owe you a huge explanation for why I am the way I am. Even though his department set up this scholarship for me to be here at this school, I have a hard time trusting people. Which is why I only have two friends…"

"Bella, please…I cannot apologize enough. I don't know what was wrong with me. I get upset and say horrible stupid things that I have no business saying. I…"

I couldn't help myself. I needed this girl to understand that my words weren't true. They were the ramblings of a very ignorant man.

"No, Edward, you were right. Every word you said was right. I am scared to live. I am so scared all the time. I can't stop thinking of it. Every time I close my eyes I picture my dad dying over and over. It only stops when I go to sleep but in order for me to go to sleep, I have to close my eyes. Alice and Emmett have done their best to hold me together but it's not their job and then you come along and…I see you trying to be my friend but I knew then, you were just one more thing that I would have to lose. I went out to that party last night to try and prove a point, even though I knew deep down everything you said to me was true. When I got to the party, I slammed like three drinks all at once. I didn't want to feel anything anymore. To think about anyone. I…I…what I did last night…my father would be so ashamed of me."

I climbed up to where she sat and didn't care if I was crossing the friend line. I pulled her in to my arms and let cry into my chest. Bella cried and cried, and I wanted to cry with her, but I knew I needed to stay strong, so she could feel free to let it all go. Eventually she fell asleep and I laid on the bed looking up at the ceiling trying to work out how I could ever make up my actions.

Another part of me started to count down the days for when I would have to return home. I was certain to be expected back before the Christmas holiday which meant I only had seven more weeks. seven weeks of happiness with the woman I loved. I was under no illusion that the actions taken today would indicate that Bella and I were together but even as friends, seven weeks would never be enough.

I fell asleep too. The bed far more comfortable than the chair and more so that I had Bella right beside me. I knew it would all end too quickly. She would wake up eventually and go back to her dormitory and I would stay here, and we may never get to lay beside one another ever again. One morning of bliss and then come what may.

When I finally did wake up, Bella was not there and my heart hurt knowing that it was over. She had left and gone back to her life and who knows what page we would be on tomorrow. Would she speak to me in class? Have lunch with me?

I had already missed my one class of the day and it was late enough that I was sure Emmett would know by now that I wasn't planning on coming in for my shift. Just as I was about to exit my bed, Bella came bounding back into my room.

"You're up!" She said as if she had lived with me all her life.

"Uh…yeah…you're still here," I immediately hit myself thinking how that sounded. "I mean…I thought you had gone. Of course, you are here. I want you here. Please don't think you need to leave."

Bella gave a small smile out the side of her mouth and went over to the corner of my closet. She pulled a huge heap of clothes out from the corner and started to walk back to the door.

"I already washed the sheets and they are in the dryer. I can't believe how many clothes you have. You really didn't know how to use the washer, did you?"

I ran to catch up with her and took the large pile from her hands.

"You don't have to do this," I said slightly embarrassed when I thought of her handling my soiled personals.

"I know but I wanted to do something nice to repay you for last night. God, that sounded horrible. I just mean that I really appreciate everything you did for me. I don't even want to imagine how I got here. Please, I'm sure the details are embarrassing so just spare me from them, so it will be less I have to tell Alice about later."

I nodded and was thankful she didn't want me to recap the nasty things they fraternity house did. I walked the clothes toward the laundry room and placed them into the machine.

"Whoa wait a minute. You have to separate them first," She explained dancing around in my nightshirt and soft pants.

She began pulling the clothes back out of the machine and placing them on the table in some kind of order.

"I can't believe you have your own laundry facilities and you still have never washed your clothes. I would kill for this kind of set up. At the dorms it's a free for all and even then, if you don't stay by the machine the whole time, you stuff can end up on the floor or worse."

It was so strange to me that Bella was talking so much. In the past she usually had a snippy comment, but she wouldn't talk and talk like she was now. It was a nice change of pace. I think she shocked me into silence because it seemed like I could barely get a few words out.

"You're welcome to use our facilities whenever you wish. I'm pretty sure Alice does already."

"Thanks, but this is a little far from the dorms. I don't have a car, so it would be a trek to lug my dirty laundry all the way over here." She then went on to explain how to wash my things according to category. I knew there was no way I was going to retain all that information. I should have written it down.

"Are you hungry? I can send out for something?" I asked.

"I can cook something up if you like? I know you are on a small budget, so it would probably be cheaper if I just whip something up," She offered.

I nodded, "Yes, but I've been saving a lot lately, so I can afford a meal delivered. You don't have to cook."

"Been saving for something special?" She asked closing the door to the dryer.

I gave a short laugh. "Well, I was. A couple weeks back my mom told me that I needed to come up with the money to buy my plane ticket home. I tried to go home, and she said she wouldn't pay for me to come home because I was running from my problems."

"Problems?" She asked.

"You," I replied.

Bella stopped what she was doing and looked up at me confused with sad eyes.

"I ended our friendship with you a couple of weeks ago because I was falling for you and I knew I would have to leave eventually and I didn't want either of us to get hurt. I tried to leave and go back home but my mother wouldn't hear of it. I know you don't want a relationship with me but…I can't deny my feelings. I have to be honest with you. I only have seven more weeks here and then I'm gone. I don't know how I going to be able to leave."

Bella stood there with her mouth tight.

She sighed and took a deep breath in and I was ready for her rejection.

"You're right. I've known this since I met you. I knew that you were on a clock. Just one of the reasons I tried to not engage myself with you. After everything that happened over the past year, I didn't even want a small chance that your leaving would hurt me. I don't know what to do here. I want to be honest with you, but I think it wouldn't do either of us any good. It would make things messy…if I told you how I feel about you."

I walked toward her and stood a foot away.

"I need to know, Bella. Messy or not."

I had to hear the words come from her mouth. For her to admit that she felt for me what I did for her. She looked down at the floor unable to look me in the eye with her confession. Her reply shocked me.

"Last night when I was with James, I closed my eyes and imagined it was you on top of me."

AN: THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ AND REVIEW! I APPRECIATE YOUR FEEDBACK!

DISCLAIMER: STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.