CHAPTER NINE
I picked her up with ease and plastered my lips on hers. She willingly wrapped her legs around me as I brought her to the table and pushed myself on her. With us both wearing thin fabrics I was sure that she could feel the bulge in my pants. It wasn't but a few seconds when I could feel a soft dampness as I grinded myself on her. Our kisses were feverish as if at any moment someone would try and pull us apart for all eternity and this was the last time we would feel this way.
I feel her pull away and place a firm but gentle hand on my chest.
"I'm sorry but you're right. We must stop. You'll be gone soon, and I can't do this knowing that."
I sighed. She was correct. But I couldn't pull myself away from her just yet.
"So, what now? Do you want to go back to ignoring one another?" I asked scared of her answer.
"I don't think I could do that. Can you?" She asked with a hint of worry in her voice. After the last time I could understand her hesitation.
"No." I shook my head.
"Then friends?" She asked raising an eyebrow.
"The hardest friendship I've ever had to endure, I'm afraid," I said. "But it's better than nothing."
Bella nodded and hopped off the table I had put her on.
"It's for the best. After you leave we could even be pen pals if you find that running your father's empire permits you enough time," she joked.
How close to the truth she was.
"Pen pals? I can't imagine that being the last of us."
"It's for the best, Edward," she said once again.
"I know but that doesn't mean I like it or that it makes things easier."
Invite her to Caldonia, I kept thinking. Maybe she would come. That was a silly stupid notion that she would surely turn down. Damn Jasper for ever putting that hope out there.
"I should get home. I know you probably have a lot of studying to do. Gone with the Wind is a long book and knowing how well you were doing before in class, you probably haven't even started it," she teased.
"I will have you know, that not only have I read the book in its entirety, I also have the essay finished. I found myself taking a page from your book and threw myself into studying in order to not tempt myself with thoughts of you," I said with pride.
Bella laughed sadly and looked away.
"Then I guess I'm the one with some catching up to do."
"I thought you finished all the essays?" I asked perplexed.
Bella's face turned red, "I may have embellished some things. Any way I'm a little behind. I've read the book but am having trouble focusing on coming up with a decent essay topic. I was thinking of either doing a piece on as some would say the unscrupulous tactics Scarlett went about and defending her actions as a push for the feminist movement by the author or comparing the south to the monarchies in Europe and how they are both unnecessary and antiquated."
My heart dropped into my stomach. I could already see a fight looming in the near future, so I decided to ignore her comment and find something else to focus on. The last thing I needed when I finally made headway was to cause an international debate that would leave us not speaking to one another again.
"You didn't eat. Would you like something before you go?" I asked.
Bella patted her stomach and held her hand out, "I don't think I'll be eating in the foreseeable future. I'm still feeling a little blah."
"Okay, well let me call a taxi-car. I don't think you should walk all the way back to the dormitory in your condition."
"You don't have to do that, Edward. Besides I thought you were saving money for your ticket home?"
"Somehow that doesn't seem like a priority any longer. If my parents want me home so badly, they can send a plane."
The front door opened, and Alice and Jasper walked in breaking us from our conversation.
"I thought you would still be here since you hadn't come home. I brought you clothes. I didn't think you wanted to do the walk of shame in your costume." Alice said costume with air quotes.
"Uh thanks!" Bella replied awkwardly taking the clothes. I was sad to see her take Alice up on the offer, I loved seeing her in my clothes a little too much.
I could feel Alice's and Jasper's eyes on me, so I turned away from them and went toward the kitchen to get away from their nosey faces.
"So...how was your night?" Alice asked.
"I will not answer that," I replied without looking at her.
"No worries, I'll get the dirt from Bella."
That caused me to turnaround.
"No, you won't unless she wants to talk about it. She had a rough night and probably doesn't want to think about it too much. Please respect that."
Alice took a small step back and looked impressed. She held up her hands in surrender.
Bella walked back out changed and went to put the clothes she borrowed of mine in the laundry room. For a room that I never ventured to before, it suddenly became my favorite room in the condo as I replayed in my mind what had transpired only a moment ago.
Bella came back and told Alice she was ready to leave.
"Well, if you need any help with your essay, just let me know. Even if I don't agree with your topic," I offered.
I couldn't help myself from commenting. Bella scrunched up her face and started to walk toward the door. Before she reached it, she turned back around.
"What exactly don't you agree with?" She asked.
I folded my arms over my chest and let out sigh.
"Well let's just say I don't believe that all monarchies are useless and antiquated."
I could hear Jasper snort into his glass of water from behind me.
"You think it's right that the genetic lottery decides who will govern the people over someone or someone's who would be more qualified?"
"The countries in Europe are run by constitutional monarchies which means that just because the country has a queen or king it does not mean that they are in absolute power. Unless you count the Vatican. Besides, qualified? Is that what you think of your president?"
I laughed and walked forward.
Bella snapped her finger at me, "that was Russia's doing, not the will of the people!"
"Oh, I'm sure it was," I mocked.
"Watch what you say. You're in my country now, we kicked your ass once, we'll do it again," she threatened
"Again, I am not British. There's that poor American education system for you," I was having way too much fun with this.
"Let's see, your country was ruled by the Great Britain, was it not?" Bella pretended to be thinking. "Which means you were...British. And just when exactly did your country get out from under them?"
I folded my arms across my chest. Damn, she was good.
"Seventeen ninety-three," I said.
"A whole decade after the Revolutionary War...wow, how embarrassing this must be for you."
But Alice jumped in between us and put her hands out, stopping us all too soon.
"All right let's end this before someone says something that they will regret or later come to feel foolish for. There is a reason why we don't discuss religion or politics with our frien...whatever the hell you two are."
Bella tightened her lips and I refrained knowing Alice was right. I would just have to show Bella that I was worthy of running a country even if the genetic lottery picked me.
"Say thank you, Bella," Alice said.
Bella rolled her eyes.
"Thank you, Edward," she said genuinely.
"Edward, tell Bella you'll call her," Alice said.
I gave Alice a stare and then turned my gaze to Bella, "I will see you in class tomorrow."
She gave me a small smile but didn't reply before turning to leave.
Once the girls were out of our flat I looked over to Jasper. It seemed as if we had a lot to catch up on.
"Alice said you found work."
Jasper nodded, "I did. Hence the reason that we no longer have the generic brands in our kitchen. The school needed a combat teacher. You should see how much they are paying me! I swear it's nearly double what I would make back in Caldonia."
"Really? That's great for you. I guess this truly does mean you will be staying," I said.
"I don't know to be honest. Alice and I haven't discussed it too much. We are just trying to enjoy every day and will worry about that later. So… you and Bella?" He asked.
"Just friends. We realize it wouldn't be wise to become entangled with my departure looming. But, it's better than nothing."
"I'll say! I don't think I could take you moping around here much longer." Jasper chided.
"All the more reason for you to stay in America. Imagine what I will be like after I return home."
I think I meant to say it as a joke, but the severity of the statement hung in the air.
"So, no chance you'll even consider asking Bella to go to Caldonia?" Jasper asked.
"She has a life here. I can't take her away from that. She has her education to finish. Alice…Emmett…she doesn't need to throw it all away for a life that she would probably not want anything to do with. You heard her, Jasper. She thinks monarchies are silly and…"
"…then show her a different side. We all have beliefs we feel strongly about until we are forced to see all sides and come to the realization that maybe there is room for diversity of our thoughts," Jasper pushed. "Besides, I think she is the only person who meets the challenge of besting you. Time and time again!"
I shook my head annoyed with him. I did wonder how she knew that we were once ruled by Great Britain. It was something I intended to ask her next time I saw her.
"I think you should tell her who you are. If there is absolutely no hope for the two of you, I think she could be trusted with this information and know exactly who her friend is. You may want to decide everything for her by not giving her all the options, but you at least owe her the complete truth."
I hated how right Jasper was. I did owe her the truth, but I was afraid. I did trust Bella but what if I told her and she suddenly saw me in a different light. What if she hated the very idea of me because of what I stood for. A person which some lottery chose the right to govern a small country of people. I tried to imagine Bella in Caldonia and even though I could picture her by my side, I couldn't quite place her walking the streets of Caldonia or climbing the vast staircases of our palace. Bella and staircases? That would be a disaster. She wouldn't last a week.
I tossed and turned that night trying to find a way to make the most out of my short time with Bella. Do I tell her? What will she say? Can we remain friends even though we clearly have feelings for one another? After seven weeks, would I ever see her again?
Every question I asked myself pushed me further and further down into a pit of depression. It caused me to have nightmares. Awful nightmares of living in Caldonia with another by my side. It wasn't Bella, instead it was that forward red head from my Applied Business course. The nightmare had me so thoroughly scared that the next morning that upon seeing the redhead I veered in the opposite direction and went to sit in the high back of the class in an empty chair.
The class felt longer than any class I had ever taken before. I kept thinking of my next class with Bella and wondering how that would transpire. Would we both feel shy about what happened the previous day? Would she revert back to being distant and decide that maybe we shouldn't be friends. Would I gather up the courage and take Jasper's advice? There were so many unanswered questions and the daft professor wouldn't hurry his lecture along.
I stopped by and grabbed a coffee at the cart before heading to my literature course. I needed something after the little rest I had. I decided to pick Bella up a cup as well. Technically I still owed her one.
I walked into the classroom and Bella was there. She looked up and seemed to be relieved at the sight of me. I sauntered over toward her desk and lamely asked, "Mind if I sit with you?"
Bella nodded her head and pulled her bag from the empty chair.
"I wanted to repay you," I said handing her the coffee.
She took it and replied, "You didn't need to do that. I'm pretty sure when it comes to the who owes whom columns, I am definitely in the red."
"Then perhaps we should start with a clean slate?" I offered.
Bella sipped her coffee and smiled.
"I'd appreciate that."
"Bella, there is something that I've been wondering about. How did you know my country was ruled the British?"
"Your accent. It's too similar. Kinda like the Australians. I sometimes get their accents confused with the Brits as well. Why, you weren't honestly offended?"
"No...of course not. I just am always amazed at your insight. Were you able to work on your essay last night?" I asked attempting to find a subject that would ease the tension.
Bella smiled softly, "After our discussion yesterday, I decided to stick to the first topic. Alice showed me the error of my ways. She explained that Europeans don't take kindly to insults made on their heritage so out of respect for our foreign travelers perhaps I didn't want to spend my weekend focusing on a paper that would disrespect all you hold near and dear."
I laughed.
"Well, that is very kind of you, but I have to say I am a little disappointed. I would have loved to show you the many ways I could find fault in your beliefs. I think if you allowed yourself an open mind, then perhaps you would come to see that the way we do things are just as beneficial and pragmatic as the way your country chooses to operate. And if I dare say so, perchance even more efficiently and effectively."
Bella opened her mouth to begin sparring but our professor cut her off with her grand entrance reciting a monologue said by Scarlett O'hara.
Bella narrowed her eyes and slammed herself back in her chair to face forward. I could see her stewing and coming up with witty comebacks in her mind. She grabbed her notebook and began to write feverishly. She slides it in my direction and politely without looking I closed the book and slid it back.
I mouthed at her to pay attention. I knew she had fallen behind and as much as I loved a good argument with her, she needed to not do so right now.
The class goes on and I already am preparing for how the conversation will go when we are finally allowed to speak freely. I imagine all the things she will have to say and wonder if we can get through a civilized conversation without either of us going away upset or hurt.
Bella, I am a prince.
If I pulled that card, I doubt we would get very far on which country has the better chain of command. I imagined that Bella might laugh in my face and tell me that she didn't believe me no matter how many items came up on Google. Or maybe she would slap me for lying by omission this whole time. What if she spat on me and said I was the very thing wrong in this world and called me a dictator.
I sighed loudly thinking of all the ways Bella could hate me for telling her the simple truth.
"Hello!" Bella snapped her fingers in front of my face. "You're not faking a stroke to get out of this. Its lunchtime and I finally got back my appetite, so we will settle this debate in the cafeteria once and for all."
I was so focused on the possible outcomes that could happen with the truth that I hadn't even realized class was over. Bella stood there staring at me questioningly. Suddenly she stood straight and her whole mood shifted.
"You're changing your mind about this," She said.
I jumped up from my chair to refute her claim.
"No! I…my thoughts were somewhere unwelcoming. I…" I sighed because I could feel a knot in my stomach. I needed to come clean.
"Bella…I have to tell you something."
Bella sighed with consternation and sat back down again.
"Oh great! Let me guess, you really are gay."
I huffed loudly and irritated, "Have my actions indicated anything of the sort?"
I was really starting to get annoyed with Alice and Bella thinking I was gay. How many times would I have to defend myself on this position?
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I assure you that this isn't your fault," Bella held her hands up in surrender. "Unfortunately, you're paying for someone else's past sins. It won't happen again. What grave information do you need to tell me?"
I prepared myself for what I was about to say. Then it occurred to me.
"Someone else's past sins?" I questioned.
Bella rolled her eyes and looked away.
"It's nothing…please just forget I ever said anything."
But I couldn't because it was far too interesting of a topic. Especially so when I wanted to delay my revelation.
"Bella, did you date a gay man before?" I asked.
Bella jumped out of her chair and huffed loudly.
"I am starving, and you are wasting my time!" She grabbed her books and charged toward the exit of the now empty classroom.
I chased on after her.
"Come on. Don't be upset. I am sorry if I pressed."
Bella slowed a little and finally stopped to look at me.
"Can we please leave it alone? I don't want to upset my stomach before I even have a chance to put something into it."
I looked around and then something occurred to me. Other than the cafeteria and my condo, I hadn't the chance to eat a meal any place other than the two.
"How hungry are you?" I asked.
Bella narrowed her eyes at me and waited for my plan.
It took me nearly as long to convince Bella of going some place off campus as it took to get there. When I finally was able to get Bella onboard, she said she knew of a place not too far away overlooking the mountains. There was a cheap diner on the outskirts of campus whose view did impress. The lunch crowd was starting to thin when we walked in.
"Can I get a to go menu?" Bella asked the first person we saw when we entered.
"To go? Can't be seen in public with me?" I asked.
She rolled her eyes and pushed the menu in my awaiting hands.
"Yes, because you were the one who made an ass out of yourself at the Theta Chi party. I'm pretty sure that it is you that should be embarrassed to be seen with me. Now stop antagonizing me and order before I decide to go to the dark side and choose cannibalism as the option for lunch."
I smiled at her and then took a gander at the menu. I still didn't know why we were ordering it to go when there were plenty of empty tables. When the waitress came around Bella began rattling off a list.
"BLT hold the L, extra mustard on rye bread toasted with a half order of fries and half order of onion rings. One banana and a large water with a medium chocolate shake."
I stared at her amazed at the size of her order. Bella caught me looking at her and scrunched up her face.
"Oh, please don't begin to judge me. It's been a long week," she said.
"I wouldn't dare." I switched my focus back to the menu and proceeded. "I will have a hunky hunky cheeseburger with fries and a lemonade."
Bella snorted and looked away. The waitress took the menu from me rang up the bill. Both Bella and I reached for our wallets.
"It's my treat," I said pushing her wallet away.
"Edward," She said my name in warning.
"It's something friends do," I explained handing my cash to the waitress.
I could see Bella biting her lip but at least she allowed it.
"Thank you," she managed.
I shrugged it off trying to act as if it were nothing to think about. I needed to act casual or else she might fight the friendship option once again.
"So where are we taking this food?" I asked.
"You'll see."
I grabbed our food when it was ready, and Bella took the drinks. I followed on after her into this thick wooded area. I saw a sign nearby welcoming us to the Sehome Hill Arboretum. Bella went off the path after a couple of minutes. I was impressed that she was able to hold the drinks without tripping over the wildlife.
Bella finally found a little clearing and dropped her bag down before sitting on the ground. I was amazed at the beauty of this place. Being off the trail, it felt as if no one was around for miles. I could hear birds singing and a soft breeze make its way through the trees. I gently placed the food on the ground and sat down.
"I never pictured you for a nature girl," I said.
"There is a lot you don't know about me, Edward," she replied.
The all-knowing knot in my stomach tightened once more. "I'm sure I am not exempt."
Bella began pulling the various items out of the bag and I didn't want to ruin her lunch since I knew she was hungry. Confessions could wait until after.
"So, how do you know about this place?" I asked.
"I've come here a lot since coming to this school. I happened upon it and it grew on me. It provides me some comfort that the library cannot."
I watched as Bella went about eating her food. The sun which had decided to make an appearance strained to be seen through the trees. Bella looked to glow in this light. I tried to memorize every part of this moment because the minute I told her who I was, it might all be over.
We finished our food speaking very little and just basking in the sounds the forest offered us. I made sure to pile all our discarded wrappers and containers back into the bag, so we wouldn't litter the area.
"So…you had something to tell me?" She cautiously brought it back up.
I sighed and compiled my thoughts.
"Look, whatever it is, it can't be that bad. I'm sure you are stressing more than needs be. I mean, you act like you're about to tell me that you're dying. We're…just friends so whatever you have to say to me, you can't be that worried of my reaction because what right would I have to be upset?"
I smiled. She was so amazing, and she didn't even see it.
"I don't want to be just friends," I confessed again.
She waited with her reply looking around at anything but me.
"Edward…you know why it has to be this way. What are we going to do in a few weeks when you leave? What's the solution? Long distance relationship?" she asked rhetorically.
"Come home with me," I said softly.
Bella's mouth opened, and she shook her head back and forth slowly a few seconds while her mind attempted to grasp my request.
"I…I…can't. I have school. I have…" She sighed. "I sound so pathetic. I can't think of anything else other than school. Edward, we've never even been on a date. A real date. We kissed once, and I can count on one hand the amount of proper conversations we have had. Less if you don't consider the arguments. Go with you? Are you crazy?"
She picked up momentum the longer she thought about it. I was already prepared for this because I never actually pictured her saying yes.
"I don't care about any of those things. All it takes is knowing and I know that you are the one for me. We have the rest of our lives to go on dates and have conversations, arguments and we haven't even explored the world of inappropriate text messages. But, can you honestly tell me that if I were to leave here, you could go on about your life and never wonder what if you had."
She stared at me and I could see her eyes and the war within. Slowly her eyes changed from light to dark until they swam with ready tears.
"Okay, forget I asked. I guess…I just had to go for it. I'm sorry. Please don't cry."
I didn't think I could bear watching her cry again.
Bella turned away as if she could hear my unspoken thoughts and waved a hand in front of her face.
"You met me at possibly the very worst time in my life. A part of me would love nothing more than to go but I have to finish my schooling. I have to be realistic and not live in some fantasy world where some cute guy shows up from Europe and whisks me away from all my problems. My life is not some Hallmark movie where it just all seems to magically work out."
"I just want you to be happy, Bella," I said. "More than anything, I want to know that you are happy and healthy. If I know that, I can leave here with some piece of mind. Besides, you never know, if it was meant to be, maybe one day, our paths will cross again."
Bella nodded solemnly and we both looked back at the nature. I didn't know what to think. My mind was numb. My idea of telling Bella who I was, it went off the table. I believed she would be happier not knowing. Telling her now would only ruin what little time we had left.
"Edward. Do you hate me?" Bella whispered.
I couldn't believe that she would even ask me such a thing.
I pulled myself closer to her and ventured to touch her. I placed a gentle hand on her face, pushing her hair back behind her ear. "I could never hate you. There isn't a thing you could ever say or do that would cause me to think that way about you."
Bella seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. I knew that we were supposed to act like friends but even I couldn't put up with the charade any longer. I pulled her in for a gentle kiss, but she pulled back right away.
"No, I can't. We both said…why do you think I ordered onion rings. I wanted to be able to circumvent the temptation."
I laughed.
"You thought a couple onion rings would stop me?"
"No…I thought it would stop me and it did. Stopped me from doing something stupid. We are frien…"
"Don't say friends," I cut her off. "Be honest with yourself, do you think we can be friends for the next few weeks? Act like this chemistry between us is merely friendship? Expect me to look at you and not think of all the ways I would rather be spending our precious time?"
I leaned in and softly placed my lips on her keeping ever so steady, so I wouldn't spook her and have her fleeing from me once more. When I sensed that she wouldn't stop me, I pushed for more. I was surprised when she even allowed my tongue and that's when I lost myself in her. I could be in the middle of a bloody war and I wouldn't have known. Bella's fingers ran through my hair, so I took her cue that all was well and brought her to the ground and slightly covered her body with my own.
Friendship was off the table.
AN: Thank you for taking the time to read and review! I appreciate it!
DISCLAIMER: Story is mine. Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.