A/N: I want to first start by apologizing for all the false update alerts, I'm sure that was very frustrating. I was still learning how to work Fan fic, but no worries I got it down pack now and updates from now on will be factual.
Thank you to those who informed me about the issue. I also want to thank everyone whose taking the time to read this story plus review, it really means so much.
Special thanks to those who review constantly this chapter is for you... Sonnoc, Annis81, Elke85, and SpashleyandCalzonalLover2013
(:
Please welcome my new Beta, Sonnoc I can't thank you enough for taking over as my beta and teaching me with every error you correct. This story is a journey and I'm glad to have you in the car with me.
lovegun1983, Dominomino, and Dimino L: Hey, I didn't hear from you guys last chap...I hope you're still reading.
As for as future updates, when I first started this story I had only a one shot in mine then no more than three, but the story had a mine of it's own; in result, I will write until it's done and update anywhere from a week - 2 weeks ( 2 weeks more likely). Enjoy!
How I Met Her Mother
Chap 4: Paula Don't Preach
*Spencer*
I place my empty water bottle on the countertop and my mother does the same. I see her form her lips to about speak but I do before she gets a chance.
"I am going to go check on Ashley'." I say with awkward smile. She let out a small sigh and I walk out the kitchen and down the hall. I am not using Ashley for a scapegoat, maybe a little, I really am worried about how she is doing.
I approach the door slowly and lean up against it as I exhale deeply. I have never used this room since I moved here and Ashley hasn't used it either, until now. I shake my head in disbelief that we went through so much trouble to make this lie believable, even went as far as renting furniture to make the bare room look occupied. I close my eyes and try to get a hold of myself before my mother decides to come up behind me and wonder why I am using the door for support. I am just finding it hard to move while being imprisoned by my guilt. I finally open the door slow and see Ashley's back facing me, I step in a little and I whisper to her.
"Baby, are you asleep?" No reply. I step out the room closing the door softly trying not to wake her. I know this has to be exhausting for her.
I look down the hall where my mother would be, not ready to face her I step in me and Ash's room. I lay on the bed and inhale the scent of Ashley and reminisce about all the mornings we ate breakfast in bed, all the afternoons she would read me her poetry and I floated on her beautiful words, and all the night we would face each other while caressing each other's skin until we fall asleep. I press my face against Ashley's pillow and find comfort in her scent while pulling the blanket from my right side over me, wrapping in it as if it was her skin against mine. She is so close in the next room, but I felt as if we were worlds apart. I lift up placing my face against my hands and let them slide down the front of my neck. I slide them to the back of it and gently massage it, I groan because my hands aren't as soft as Ash's. The slightest touch of her finger sends chills up my spine; the thought pushes me over the edge. I get up and pace around a bit trying to walk off this feeling of emptiness and horniness.
I slam my fist against my hand thinking that I wouldn't have to go through all of this if I could only get up the nerve to tell my mother. It shouldn't be this hard, I am twenty eight years old, live in my own place that is miles away from her. But it is hard because even when your mother is wrong, you grow up feeling everything she says, believes, and does is right. A mother's only job is to guide her daughter. I can hear my mother's voice echo the words that she recited religiously to me and my father.
I stop pacing when the picture on my dresser catches my eye. I pick up the beige frame with the only picture in the room that isn't in a frame of deep or bright color. I smile at the black and white picture of my four year old self wrapped in my mother's arms. I rub my fingers against the open wide smiles we're both wearing as our blonde locks blow in the wind. I remember that day like it was yesterday.
24 years earlier
I enjoy feeling the crisp wind blow through my yellow sun dress as the long blades of grass sweep across my bare legs. I run as fast as my little legs can take me down the hill, I stare at my white folded down ankle socks inside my white church shoes. My mom, dad, Glen, and I go to the park next to the church after service every Sunday. In a matter of minutes my mother scoops me up from the back wrapping me in her arms and spinning me around to face her. I let out deep giggle which she mirrors. I am always so surprised at how fast she can catch me; I guess I thought mothers couldn't run. My mother is wearing an all white dress and three inch heels with her hair in curls. I stare into my mother kind eyes and felt so loved. It was the most carefree I have ever seen her. My mother's soft embrace was comforting, I feel at ease with my cheek against hers. I feel safe in my dad's arms, but at home in my moms. In that moment I knew, I knew.
End Flashback
I place the picture down and pick up the plum colored frame of me and my childhood best friend.
20 years earlier
"Mom, do I have to go?" I whine softly and pout.
"Yes Spence, you do. You start missing church now and you'll have to repent later." She says with a superior smile.
I plop on the beige carpet and cross my arms in protest.
"Spence you're going to get your dress dirty.' She hisses so I lift myself up and stand straight.
My yellow dress has been replaced with a white one and my flat church shoes and folded ankle socks haven been replace with two inch with heels and white stockings. I stop wearing yellow dresses or anything with color after I turned five. 'Color is for babies and whores and you are neither' my mother would say.
I used to like church when my mother would let me go to children's church, but my mom says I'm not a baby anymore. My mother likes to uphold an image, so even after church me and my brother, my other brother Clay, who came last year, are not allowed to associate with the other kids or parents for that matter. We're not even allowed to drink orange juice and glazed donuts with the other kids because my mother says sugar is 'white death' and our bodies are a temple that we need to take care of. She doesn't let me and my brothers eat in our church clothes so we don't get them dirty. The whole family wears white.
We stop going to the park and going straight home the same time I stop wearing colors. Saddened from the thought I walk into the church doors ready to put on a false smile because 'smiling is welcoming good spirits' my mother would say. I notice everyone is mingling so I decide to take the opportunity to put my head down to look at my shoes. I take the long walk down the peach colored carpet to the long white plush benches where our designated seats are, there are no reserved seats but everyone knows it's where we sit. I continue to look at my shoes until I am stopped by slamming into something hard. I stand up instantly to apologize to the body that played victim to my clumsiness.
"I –" I lose my words in my throat as I stare into dark chocolate chews that my mother use to give me during service, except this time their eyes and not candy.
"Are you ok?" she asks with a head titled and her dark locks scatter over her left shoulder.
I nod my head slowly yes and open my mouth but nothing comes out. She places her hand over her mouth giggles while her shoulders go up and down.
"Hello there." My mother pulls me from my thoughts smiling at the girl and her family. I didn't see her walk up along with the rest of the family behind her. "Are you new here?" She narrows her eye, scrunches her nose, and widens her smile a bit while pointing at the seats that we usually sit in.
"Oh, yes." The woman with dark brown hair and bright green eyes goes to shake my mother's hand. "Me and my family just moved here from LA and decide to check this church out.
"Oh. I am the church mother here and anything you need just ask me. Ms…"
"Ms. Ross." The woman smiles brighter.
"Ms. Ross my family and I usually sit here." My mother says never removing her smile.
"Oh, I'm so sorry… we'll move." The woman goes to grab her bag.
"Don't be silly, I'm sure we can all squeeze in here." My mother says never taking her eyes off the woman.
"Ok." The woman smiles gratefully.
We all scoot into the bench and I am inches from my victim. My cheeks turn red from the earlier incident and I lean in to apologize but am distracted by the smell of strawberries and bubble gum.
After weeks of admiring her colored dresses that flowed in the wind while she twirls outside, or the way her hair bounces when she would pretends to play hopscotch, or laughing every time she giggled. One day she asks me. "Are you special?"
"Huh"? I squint my eyes and drop my mouth surprised that she is talking to me.
She giggles "it's just that you're always staring at me." I blush. "My mother takes care of kids and they stare at me too, she calls them special." She finishes with a shrug.
"No, I don't think so." I say in a small voice and think about it for a bit. I don't really know what she means by the word because my mother calls me special sometimes, but I have a feeling she doesn't mean it in the same way.
"What's your name?" she questions with a head tilt that I mimic and have done ever since.
"Spencer." I say in an even smaller voice than before.
"I'm Rudy." She says with a bright smile that I mirror. "Spencer, you're weird." She says before running to catch up to her mom who's waving her toward the car.
"No I'm not." I say to the retreating body.
"You know why I like you?" she asks with a wide grin
"mhm" I lift my eyes to meet hers
"Because you're funny" she giggles.
"What do you mean" I question
She shrugs "you always make these faces when you're thinking" she smiles before continuing. "You're always staring at me… I kind of like it." I blush "You're always blushing." She says before laughing. "That's why I like you the most Spence because you always make me laugh."
I smile and not because she's smiling but because it makes me feel the way you feel when you spin in circles before falling down.
"Why do you like me?" She asks while scooting closer to me on the floor.
We're sitting in my boring room and I wish I was in her room instead. Her room has bright yellow walls with hot pink circles and pony posters with a hot pink carpet, unlike my bare white walls and beige carpet. I have been in her room once when my mom does her usual church mother duties of greeting the new members at their homes. Before that the only other time I talked to Rudy was when she asked me if I was special.
After visiting her at her house that day her mother always asks if I can come over and my mother always make up some reason why I can't. One day Rudy's mom decides to stop by with a lemon pie and Brussels sprout crust. It's actually pretty good and healthy enough for my mother to let us have some. She brought Rudy with her and ever since then I would ask my dad if she can come over. She's been over every Sunday after service ever since.
"I told you why I liked you." she says brushing a small piece of hair behind her ear and looking away slightly before looking back at me expectedly.
I breathe in deeply and the answer comes flying out my mouth "You always smell like strawberries and bubble gum" I say with a shy smile. She smiles wide showing off her braces that she hates, but I like the way the metal shines in the sun and the different color bands she wears each month.
"My mother won't let me have bubble gum or any candy because it will get caught in my braces." She looks down poking out her lips and I scoot even closer to her. "She buys me bubble gum flavor chap stick to try to make me feel better." She says with a small smile.
"Does it taste like bubble gum?" I lean in closer while blinking my wide eyes. She laughs and I giggle.
"You want to try some?" I give her a closed mouth smile and nod excitedly. She leans over and grabs her yellow purse with hot pink pears on it, takes out a yellow tube with a hot pink top. Everything about Rudy screamed personality from her hair, eyes, clothes to her…everything. I let out a sigh and realize Rudy is saying something.
"Huh?"
She giggles."I'm sorry Spence; I'm out of chap stick." She says waving the empty container in my face and I look down at my fingers. "I have an idea." She says with excitement laced in her voice. I look up hopeful where I am greeted by bright eyes that are inches from mine, I can smell strawberries so close I could taste it, she closes her eyes and I do to as I feel my insides go into a frenzy when soft lips brush against mine. She pulled away and our lips hold on by the stickiness of her chap stick.
It's over in seconds, it felt like I was spinning but never falling down. I place my fingers to my lips and I can't hear anything except the sound of them tingling in my ears. Everything is a blur until I see Rudy's head tilt in front of me as her shoulders shake from laughter.
" Are you ok?" she asks with a smile.
"Yeah." I breathe out with a head nod never removing my fingers from my lips.
"How does it taste?" she questions.
I lick my lips and close my eyes."Perfect." I say in almost a whisper and she giggles.
"Does it taste like bubble gum silly?" I nod my head yes. "You're special Spence." I really am starting to think her and my mom doesn't mean it in the same way.
"Rudy, your mother's here." My mother peaks her head in the door and waits for Rudy to get up and leave. She grabs her purse and waves as I watch her hair bounce away until she is no longer in sight.
I lie back on the floor and hear my mom faintly closing the door, never letting my fingers leave my lips. I hear Rudy's voice echo in my head "does it taste like bubble gum?" I said it does but the truth is it really tasted like her…fun, funny, colorful…perfect
since that day Rudy and I have been inseparable. She started to come over on Saturdays as well as Sundays that eventually added on Fridays and finally every day after school too. We didn't kiss after that day …we didn't need too.
On her ninth birthday I bought her bubble gum that she would only eat at my house, we would both get the leftovers out of her braces before she went home. On my ninth birthday she bought me colorful hair ribbons that she would bring in her backpack every day for me to wear at school until it was time to go home. I love Rudy; she is the only person I feel like myself around.
On Halloween I am not able to go trick or treating because my mother thinks it's the day of the devil. Rudy wasn't able to eat candy, so every Halloween we would stay up telling each other scary stories, what we thought to be scary, like monsters under the bed then we get so scared we wouldn't want to go to the bathroom because we would have to touch the floor.
Every Christmas we would write each other's letters to Santa and send them off. Once we got what we asked for we would say 'I know you better than you know yourself' and giggle. We really don't know what it meant, we heard it on a movie one day and it stuck.
It's our first day of middle school I am so scared. My mother tells me that it will be ok as long as I be myself. I don't know what self she means, the self at church, the self with her and dad, or the self with Rudy. I am so confused and her words just made me more nervous. When I walked to the door to see Rudy standing I don't care what "self" I am as long as she is there with me.
It is almost four years since Rudy and I had been friends and everything is going well until.
"Paula they're only kids." I hear my dad shouting from down stairs as I push my face between the bars at the top of the staircase.
"So were serial killers." My mother retorts.
"What?" my dad questions while narrowing his eyes, extending his hands, and shaking his head.
"As parents it's our job to guide our kids in the right direction." Her voice is beginning to crack. "There are always signs and we ignore it as if it's innocent when it's sinful." She finishes with a whisper.
My dad walks away shaking his head and I see a single tear roll down my mother's cheek.
I turn around leaning the back of my head against the bars and close my eyes.
Today would have made four years that Rudy and I have been friends and instead of celebrating our friendship like we always do by giving each other a secret that we would never give to anyone else. I am enrolling in and all girls school on the other side of town. I am sad to not see Rudy everyday at school, but at least I can see her after.
Well, that doesn't happen, my mother keeps me busy with every school activities she could. On days I do not have to be at an after school program my mother picks me up to have ice cream with her. She says it's 'mother and me time' but I know that's not the reason. I would trade all the ice cream in the world to have Rudy back.
Rudy has stopped coming around after being told I am not home every day for a month. My dad tells me she tried to come by a few times on the weekends. I try to stay home one weekend to see her, but my mom would insist we needed to visit Grandma.
End Flash back
I place the picture to my chest and let out a heavy sigh before opening the back of it. I remove the three secrets Rudy shared only with me. First secret: I am glad you ran into me at church that day. Second secret: I was never scared of the monsters under the bed; I just like being scared of them with you. Third secret: the day I let you try my chap stick…you tasted perfect too. I held the secrets tight in my hand as if it would make us have more moments, before placing them back in the picture frame then placing it back on the dresser. I walk over to the next picture in a dark wooden frame that's purposely stained and I hold it up to look at it with a smile that becomes a frown immediately.
14 years earlier
I have been going to the private school I loathe for two years now and haven't spoken to a soul, I miss Rudy. I am running late and I don't want to get written up since my mother finally let me walk by myself after Rudy moved, I guess she thought I would sneak and see her, which I would have. I really wish I could have said goodbye. I make a sharp turn around the corner where the mini mart is. I do my daily ritual of shortly entertaining the idea of getting something sweet when I am knocked out of my thoughts, literally, as my body crashes into another. I curse myself for it as I try to stand up.
"Watch where you going… you freak!" Not the same reaction as Rudy eight years prior.
"I'm sorry." I say to the petite blonde with brown eyes and a nasty look on her face.
"You damn right you are!" She retorts and steps closer to me causing me to step back almost losing my balance.
"Debbie chill" a taller brunette wearing a pair of jean short shorts to show off her tone legs with red a crop top to displace her incredible abs and arms. Once she faces me I am lost in her amazing hazel eyes while she grabs my hand to help me gain my footing.
"It's ok, I did bump into her." I blush.
"She still shouldn't be such a bitch to such a gorgeous girl." She smiles and looks back at her friend who smacks her teeth and rolls her eyes.
"When you're done fucking her with your eyes can we go." The angry blonde groans and walks to the car.
"I'm sorry about her, I didn't catch your name." she smiles and I mirror the action.
"Spencer." I reply
"Well, Spence it seems like you're in a hurry." She bites her lip."Would you like me to give you a ride?"
"My mother says I shouldn't take rides from strangers." I tease and she laughs.
"I'm not a stranger." She smirks. "My name is Candy and that ass" She points her thumb to the angry blonde whose face is still twisted "Is Debbie." She raises her brow for me to answer.
"Won't you be late for school?" I question.
"You have to go to school to be late for it, and most of time we don't go." She smiles.
"That's ok, the school is only a few blocks down." I say brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Spence, if you are worried about us being late that must mean you are running late, so let me help you out." She says with a flirty smile.
"Won't you get in trouble for being near the school and not going?" I ask while nibbling on my bottom lip.
She chuckles. "My, my, my, you ask a lot of questions." I blush.
"Sorry." I whisper looking down at my feet.
"I like it." She says while lifting up my chin. "Debbie and I go to the public school across town, we only hang out here to avoid the truant officer until Deb's aunt heads to work then we go there since Deb's has the spare key." I look at her in disbelief. "Don't worry about it Spence, we make up for all the days we miss in detention." She let out a hardy laugh and I relax a little. "That's we're I met this ass." She thumbs to the blonde again.
"Ugh! Can we go already?" The blonde says while rolling her eyes.
Candy looks at her making her looks away. "You want to ditch school and come with us?" Her faces has soften when she faces me.
She licks her lips then focuses on me. "I really, should get going." I say while biting down on my bottom lip.
"After you." She bows extending on arm towards the car. "A car will get you there way faster and you seem like you are in a hurry."
"Ok." I breathe out and walk to the car. I can feel her eyes on me.
I start to meet Candy everyday and she would drive me to school. After three months she kissed me and I didn't stop her, we made out a lot before school and after. I finally started inviting her to my house where we will do homework, well I do homework, she tries to make out and sometimes I give in. One day we're making out and she swipes her warm tongue over my bottom lip and I open a little and she places her tongue in my mouth that taste like honey, I suck on it and I let out small whimpers. I blush after every time we kiss, that makes her kiss me more, we can't get enough of each other.
"What are we?" I ask looking down at my fingers on top of my math book. She lifts my chin so I am facing her then closes her eyes and sticks out her tongue and I laugh.
"Candy!" I whine before hitting her with my pillow.
"Okay, okay. What do you want to be?" I place a finger on my chin tilt my head and face my eyes up to the ceiling as I think about it. "Spence?" she giggles. I love that I got to see the softer side of Candy. She's' stares at me expectantly, so I answer her.
"We've been hanging out and making out for a year now." She nods in agreement. I cross my arms, huff, and pout. She laughs. 'It's not funny!" I hit her with the pillow again.
"Awe, Spencer Carlin, do you want to be my official girlfriend?' I jump up and down on my knees clapping my hands.
"Yes, Candy Freeman I want to be your official girlfriend." I smile which she does the same.
"Better had punk butt." I smack her arm.
"Hey honey, oh I didn't know you had company." My mother lies.
I tell her I have a friend coming over every day for the last few months. She still comes in everyday after an hour and a half and stands inside the doorway taking out an item of my clothes and refolding it as she waits for Candy to leave. Candy gets off my bed, stands to her feet, placing her hand behind her neck while leaning into it. "Um, I'll catch you later Spence." She says before turning around to head out the door. She turns to look at me one last time before exiting and I wave to her.
My mom gives me a small smile before closing the door behind her. I lean back on the floor close my eyes and try to calm down.
The more Candy and I hang out the more serious she gets about school. She would come over to actually study, we still make out, but she studies too. On my birthdays I would sneak out to meet her where we first met and she would have orange juice and a glazed donut for me. I love how she remembers the little things.
Candy is so much fun to be around she taught me how to skate and swim and I taught her how to take notes and time management… lame I know, but she loves it. She makes me take risk like sneaking into movie theaters, I thought my heart was going to bust from the fear of getting caught, but she always makes me feel safe. I make her relax and she stops getting detention and in to so many fights.
It was close to four years and everything is perfect until.
"Debbie what are you doing here?" I ask the angry blonde when opening my living room door. I am very surprised to see her because we never became friends and whenever Candy would bring me around her and she acts the same way she did the day we met, eventually Candy would hang with us separately.
"I am here about you and your girlfriend." I plead with her to lower her voice. 'Oh that's right mommy doesn't know." She says with an eye roll.
"What's wrong with Candy?' I ask with worried eyes.
"Oh you don't know what your mother said to her." I look confused and shake my head. "Your mother told her she isn't good enough to be friends with her precious Spencer and to stay away." My mouth drops. "Don't act surprised." I try to say something, but I am cut off by her hand in my face. "I will be taking Candy place as your best friend she says with air quotes and I look at her with my eye brows furrowed. "Oh please you wish Carlin…a non sexual relationship. You will not see or contact Candy unless you want mommy to get a whiff of these. "She says waving Candy's copy of our booth pictures from a month ago with the words 'I love you' on top and us kissing in every photo.
"Where did you-"I whisper before being cut off.
"Where did I get these? When you're girlfriend was so distraught over your mothers words I saw this on her dresser and figured she wouldn't miss them. She says with an evil grin.
I swallow hard. "Debbie, Please." My voice cracks from the tears rolling down my cheeks and I try to speak clearer. "I need to make sure Candy is okay."
She steps closer to me like she did the day we met. "Oh, she will be without the likes of you." she shakes her head. "You should of seen her there pleading to your mom that she is doing better in school and how you are rubbing off on her, blah, blah, blah… but mama Carlin wouldn't hear it.
"Hey Honey, who's your friend?" I wipe my face with my sleeve quickly before turning around to answer my mother.
"This is Debbie mom." I say with a forced smile while Debbie places the booth pictures in her back pocket.
"Hi ma'am, nice to meet you." she says while extending her hand for my mom to shake it, which she does with a smile. "I'll see you later Spence, to do homework." She says with a false smile and I do the same.
"Okay." I choke out.
"Bye ma'am." She waves before exiting.
"Seems like a nice girl." My mother says before heading back up stairs.
I did see Debbie the next day and every day after that to do her homework, wash her car, cook her food, and take over her babysitting duties while she made out with her boyfriend and will get the payment when the parents returned.
The night I become Debbie's slaved I thought back to the day before when I sat at the top of the stairs and heard my parents arguing.
"Paula please don't do this to our daughter again."
"Arthur this girl is a bad influence on Spencer."
"How do you know that?" He questions with disgusted.
"I saw how close they've become, so I did some research. This girl has been in and out of trouble since grade school plus her father is a convict." My dad slams his hand against the wall and me and my mother jumps.
"Paula Don't Preach!" he yells. " You're so afraid that she's going to be what you don't want her to be that you make everyone else into something they're not, just to keep them away from her!"
"It's a mother's job to guide their child Arthur, even if they don't want to be led." She walks out after and that must have been when she met up with Candy.
I closed my eyes and cry myself to sleep. As much as I hated being Debbie's slave, I hated being without Candy even more.
I don't believe my mother ever did research on Debbie and if she did her dad is a cop. He is good at keeping her record clean, even minor things from a school record. I was Debbie slave for two years and she swore it was because I had hurt Candy, but she hadn't talked to Candy since I became her slave. I know she did this because she hates how much Candy loves me and not her; even though, she swears she isn't a lesbian. Plus Candy stopped talking to Debbie after she found out she stole her booth pictures and has been blackmailing me with them.
I graduate high school and go to Ohio State University, Columbus, for the two years I was Debbie's errand girl until I decided to transfer to USC. I told my mother it was because I wanted to be in the best Psychology program, but it was to get away from her and Debbie. I'm tired of being enslaved by both of them. My mother was all against it arguing that she got her Psychology degree from Ohio State University, Columbus, but my dad convinced her otherwise. I don't know how he did it but he did.
End of Flashback
I don't know why I kept this picture here, Debbie and I were never friends. We took this picture together when my mom made us at my eighteen birthday party a few days after she showed up at my door. I guess it would look suspicious to my mom if I didn't have the picture here. I place the frame back in its original spot and lay down on the bed inhaling all of Ashley.
3 years earlier
I woke up to an empty spot next to me and I'm not surprised to not find Ashley there. I took her talk of being 'hopelessly devoted' and moving in to be something she borrowed from a fairy tale. Come on, who moves in with someone on the first day of meeting them? I walk into the kitchen with nothing on and don't care to put anything on at the moment when I hear my front door open. Too shocked to move I stand there in all my nakedness wondering who it can be. I am pleasantly surprised and relieved to see a smiling brunette wearing a white netted sweater and a burnt orange bra underneath with matching burnt orange lipstick, nails, and boots, with stone wash blue jeans. I am taken out my thoughts by the three men who come in behind Ashley. I run to the bedroom slam the door and grab my long button up that I forget has been ruin by the brunette the day before.
"I'm sorry Spence." She bites her lip making it hard to be mad at her. She walks all the way in closing the door behind her. "I didn't know you walked around naked." She says placing both hands to her chest and chuckles, "Which I'm not complaining."
"Who are those men?" I question with shock still written on my face.
"They're the moving men." She answers plainly.
"Moving men?" I retort confused.
"Yeah, I wanted to add some color to our place. I was worried when you first invited me in, but after seeing what you had in you last night/early morning… I knew you were no plain Jane." I blush. "I brought all of the stuff from my apartment to switch this stuff out and donate it. I'm sure some boring house wife will buy it."
"Hey!" I retort.
She walks up to me placing a gentle kiss on my lips, and runs her finger through my hair until she stops at my chin to look in my eyes. "Not you beautiful." And I blush again.
"What's that?" I breathe out pointing to the burnt orange gift bag in her hand.
"Oh this?" She questions as she pulls out a plum gift box and hands it to me.
I smile as I sit on the bed placing the gift in my lap and lifting the top of the box to golden wrapping paper. I remove the paper to find a burnt orange button up, plum tank, and wine colored shorts. My face drops and my eye brow rises in confusion. "Um, what is this?" I say lifting up the items to her.
She chuckles and I feel the bed shifts as she sits next to me. "I owed you a new button up." She says with a smirk placing her hand on my knee and I forget my next thought.
Oh yeah, I clear my throat. "You said you'll buy me a new shirt to replace the one I am wearing…which is white." I say tugging at the shirt I'm wearing while narrow my eyes and she nods while still smiling. "This is not white." I hold up the blouse for emphasis "Plus why the shorts and tank?"
"And shoes." She says while reaching into the bag pulling out a wine colored box. I open the top and remove the lavender tissue paper to find a pair of strappy burnt orange open toe, five inch heels. I hold them up towards her like I did the last items furrowing my brows.
"Ash" I question a bit overwhelmed.
"Awe, I love when you call me Ash." She smirks and I roll my eyes and smile.
"Ash" I stretch out her name leaning towards her.
"Spence put the clothes on and let's go to a late, late lunch not so early dinner because I have worked up an appetite and I'm sure you have too." She says with a wink as she stands up and walks out. I shake my head at the retreating figuring.
We pull up to the cutest little restaurant with Christmas white lights that traces the bushes along with the white fence. There are brown garden fences with bright green vines around them. we walk up to the three small white stairs on the side that lead us to the restaurant that looks like a cozy grandmother's house, at the top of it in purple letters it spells out 'Grub'. Once inside we seat ourselves and I look around to the colorful atmosphere of orange, yellow, and green chairs and tables. The cheerful waitress comes with a small wooden basket with mini pretzels, thick carrot stick, and a small tin of ranch dressing. I dipped my carrot into the ranch and moan at the taste; I have never tasted a carrot so crisp and sweet and the ranch is rich, creamy, and light. Ash smiles at me.
"We grow them in our garden." The server says pointing to the carrots in the basket that I haven't devoured yet. I nod with a smile and she mimics the act taking out her pad to take our order.
A few minutes later she returns with the 'big ass pancake' stuffed with cheddar cheese and 'crack bacon' me and Ash split the pancake and she gives me the bigger half. I smile at her, she smiles back. All that is heard is chewing and moans of pleasure until I speak.
"Are you seriously moving in?" I ask with a mouth full of sweet, salty, and savory pancake.
She raises a brow "I thought we discussed this already." She says with a smirk.
"I didn't think you were serious." I say and she looks a bit offended. "I mean it's illogical for two people to move in so quickly."
"It's illogical for two people who know they're supposed to be together to wait 18 months, a year, or even 3 months to move in… to make it logical." She says the last part with air quotes. "Feelings and logic cancel each other out. Sometimes people are so worried about analyzing what is real they forget to feel." She says while taking another bite of her half of the pancake.
End flash back
I don't know what it was about Ashley, but she seemed so confident and passionate about the possibility of us that it made me feel the same. We've been together three years going on four and this is the only relationship my mother hasn't broken up. I feel the tears in my throat and I sit up to try to shake them off. I get out of the bed taking my bun out and running my finger through my blonde wavy locks as I pace around the room until I'm in front of the heart shaped picture fame. I try to hold the tears that are forming in my eyes as I sit back on the bed with the frame in hand.
8 years earlier
My mother hugs me goodbye and tries not to cry in front of me. She walks away from me heading to lock herself in her room. I am standing in the room that's been mine for twenty years. I stand next to the window and look at the boring room's beige carpet, the bare walls, and the bed cover and sheets. I smile as I think of all the bright memories I have shared with Rudy and Candy, my smile fades when I think about the last few years I shared in here with Debbie.
"Honey?" My dad calls from the door and I turn to face him. "All your stuff is packed and ready to go, are you ready?" he question leaning more into the doorway, I nod but don't move. "Can I come in?" He questions and I nod with tears threatening to fall.
He wraps his arms around me as I bury my face in his chest while he places his chin on top of my head. "Honey, you don't have to move across the country to be yourself. Just know when you're ready to face your mom I will be here to see you through." He kisses my forehead and wipes away my tears as we walk to the car.
Before entering the car he speaks again. "I wanted to give you something for when you feeling nostalgic." He hands me a plum colored wrapped gift that I open with excitement leaving no paper whole. I look down at the homemade book and flip through the pages. "All my recipes, so you can have a taste of home whenever you need it.
I jump into his arms hug him a little longer this time. I look into his loving eyes and know everything is going to be just fine.
I get into the taxi and he smiles at me. "Spence, Remember I am here whenever you're ready." He says then closes the taxi door.
I lean back and say goodbye to my slavery and hello to my freedom.
End of flashback
"You said you would be here and I wouldn't have to face this alone, but you're not here. Oh God, why aren't you here? Why aren't you here?" My voice is cracking as my throat becomes sore and dry. I hold the picture tight to my chest, close my eyes, and breathe in deeply as the tears start to fall freely.
A/N: What did you think? Who made you mad, sad, annoyed, happy, laugh, cry? tell me any and everything about your thoughts and feelings about this chap.