A/N: Hello beautiful readers, I missed you, did you miss me? I want to start off by thanking all my reviewers, your reviews were so wonderful to read (still smiling because of them) To all my consistent reviewers, you know who you are, this chap is for you.
Special Thanks to my Beta Sonnoc, I couldn't have done this without you. Thank you for reading and rereading.
Next Update: Life is really coming at me, so much to do so little time but I will keep updating this story. Updates will varie from a week- a month. Hope you lovely reader stick with me.
How I Met Her Mother
Chap 5: Mother May I? No You May Not!
*Ashley*
I stare at the bare beige walls in disgust while lying still on my side. I try to hold myself together with every slow breath I take. No matter how much I breathe the air is ahead of me, I can't catch up. I close my eyes and press down on my lips with the same intensity. I refuse to move again.
An hour ago
"Ash, are you ok?" The older blonde asks me, I guess she's truly concerned. I try to force something out as a reply.
"Yeah" Is all I can breathe out while holding my side. The pain always cuts through me whenever I'm nauseous, like the sharp golden toe stilettos that my mother kicked me with.
"Why are your shoes and blazer on the floor?" The nosey blonde questions, I guess whatever concern she had went as fast as it came.
Seriously bitch? It's my house I can shit in the sink or piss in the flowers if I want. Okay, that's nasty, but come on Paula! I don't mean to call her a bitch, in my head of course, but I don't feel good. Can't she just call me Kit Kat and give me a break?
"Ash." I am called out of my nightmare of Paula staying longer than a day.
"Yes, Spencer" I reply still in a daze and she looks a bit taken aback. Did I just really call her Spencer?
"Ashley, why don't you go in your room and lay down for a while" Spence says with apologetic eyes.
I give her a thankful look before speeding to the room, flopping on the foreign bed, and breathe in deeply to try to catch my breath. I rub my fingers against my side as the sharp pain cuts through me. I shut my eyes tight, shake my head, and bite down on my lip before hopping to my feet.
"Ashley you have to get a hold of yourself. You have to be there to support your babe." I nod to myself in agreement.
I am back to lying on the bed. I went from sitting to standing to lying. I know I need to go and support Spence, but it's like that saying if a plane is crashing a mother's first instinct is to give oxygen to her child; however, the mother should get the oxygen first in order to be alert when the child needs more support. I can't breathe air into Spence's lungs if my own are weak.
I'm standing in front of the closed door trying to open it with my thoughts, it's not working. I guess it will make more sense to open it with my hands. I look at the palms of my hands and mentally tell them that they can do this. I place one hand against the door for support while the other one is on the door knob. I twist it and once it opens I swear I hear the "Hallelujah" song along with cheers and fireworks. I put on my best fake smirk and make my way down the hall to the corner before entering the kitchen. I can hear my heart beat in my ears until Paula's voice laced with sarcasm overshadows it.
"Your girlfriend seems really nice, Spence." Paula says
"She's not my girlfriend." Her harsh tone crushes every piece of strength I have.
I have walked straight into the bullet that breaks through the skin of my chest shattering my heart to pieces. I thought my body would land next to the pieces that were scattered on the floor, but my feet must have had a mind of their own as they stumbled back towards the room closing the door softly behind me.
End flashback
"I won't leave this room again." I say again softly to myself for the last hour. I'll allow these beige walls, strange bed, and my thoughts to become my asylum. I can't escape the feelings that are tearing through me, so I'll crawl past them to bury myself to rest.
Spence and I have planned to lie to her mom and that isn't surprising. I am foolish in thinking it isn't a lie but more of not telling the whole truth. I had a rude realization by hearing her lie without me. It feels like a betrayal I'm not sure we can come back from. I am taken out my thoughts when I hear the door open.
"Baby are you asleep?" I keep my eyes shut while holding my breath, fearing that if she hears me breathing she'll know I'm not actually asleep. I hear her step out closing the door behind her and I can hear her walk into the room we once shared.
She's gone faster than she came. I have never ignored Spence; I honestly never thought I would. I do not know how to face her, I'm afraid of what she'll see when she sees me seeing her…differently. Streams of tears roll down my cheeks then connect at my chin before dripping against my chest. I inhale deeply; air won't grant me even the slightest sense of relief.
I turn on my back letting a puff of air hit the ceiling. I rub my temples; I can't believe she didn't come to wake me, if she really thought I was sleeping, to make sure I was okay. Doesn't she know how much her kisses mean to me? Who knows how long it will be before I taste, bite, lick, or suck on her lips. I need her arms around me. I have to feel some connection to her…anything. She's only in the next room, but it feels like we're galaxies away.
I sit up placing my face in my hands before sliding them down and around to the back of my neck. I lean back on the bed placing my crossed hands on my stomach. I don't know what to do. I usually do my thinking or release my stress by snuggling into my babe while vanilla and mint overtakes me. People say walks usually help, I giggle to myself. I can see it now trying to walk past Paula the gate keeper with a plaster smile
'Where are you going dear?' She'll questions with sadistic grin.
'Oh you know I need to take a walk to get over the fact that you're clam jamming emotionally and physically.' I'll say back with a challenging grin.
I shut my eyes as tight as I can while trying to stop my thoughts from running amuck. I mentally pick at the flower in my heart asking if 'she loves me or she loves me not.' Time seems to be moving so slow or maybe too fast. I instantly open my eyes when I hear sobbing, with no hesitation I jump to my feet and run to me and Spence's room.
I get to the door and wipe the tears from my eyes and try to save my breathing to be able to give whatever air I have left to her. I caress the plum colored door that will unlock the room we have made so much love in. Spence and I have loved each other with every smile, kiss, and conversation. I breathe in before I enter the room to see a sight that I never thought I would see...blue eyes cradled by red. They're so puffy they almost take over the bottom part of her eyeballs. I look down at her holding onto the picture of her and her father. She is sobbing that he lied to her, he left her behind, and she needs him. I sit next to her on our bed while she turns to face my brown eyes with her bloodshot ones. Her lips tremble before she cries into me.
I stroke her hair "It's going to be okay baby. He's always with you and I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
I place her head on my lap while she still clings to the picture. I slowly remove the frame. "shhh." I place small kisses along her neck before kissing away her tears. She does a few short gasps before kissing my lips. She holds her lips against mine and I can taste her searching for a feeling that I'm not sure I can give her…strength. She releases my lips to face the remaining picture frames on the dresser. I go to kiss the top of her forehead, but I am rejected by her moving away slightly.
"My mother can walk in at any minute." She says without bothering to face me. I scoff in disbelief that she could even-
"Is everything ok-?" The intruder questions as she walks in, without knocking, with a demanding grin. "Oh, Ash I didn't know you were in here." She says with knowing eyes. Ain't nobody got time for that.
"Yeah, I came in to check on Spence." I give a forced smile.
"Oh, that's funny. She said she was coming to check on you." She pauses. "mhm, in the next room actually." Ok, imma need 'inspector garget' bitch to go find Penny and leave us the hell alone.
"She did come to look for me, but I was asleep until I heard her weeping."
"What's wrong dear?" She smiles at a non responsive Spencer before eyeing the heart frame that's face down on the bed. I move it behind me and answer.
"Spence has such a huge heart that she always gets choked up before going to the homeless shelter." I lie.
I'm sure Spence wouldn't want to upset her mom by bringing up her late husband, plus I don't have the energy to console both of them at the moment. I look down at my watch not really checking the time.
"Wow, it's getting late; we better get going everyone is waiting on us."I look at Paula who nods then walks out.
Spence gets up, walks over to the dresser to grab her gray USC sweater, a pair of dark blue gap jeans, and her white K Swiss out the closet. I smile meekly at her back as she walks out the bedroom to the bathroom. I put my head back and sigh as I support my weak body with the palm of my hands on each side of me. After a few minutes I stand up to walk over to the dresser to find a change of clothing.
Once I step out the room I find Paula and Spencer talking... yet again. I slightly smile at how beautiful my girl looks with her hair pulled up into a pony tail, with no makeup, sweat shirt and jeans. She's breathtaking, but I am still infuriated with her.
"Honey, why where you so surprised that I am staying longer than a day?" My smile fades at the question addressed to my girlfriend. "When I walked in your girl-" Spence cuts her off with a look that turns my already shattered heart into dust. "Ashley" she corrects. "took more than one bag from me."
"Mom, you always say be prepared. I thought the extra bags were for if you wanted to do an outfit change in the middle of dinner." The younger blonde shrugs her shoulders.
The older blonde lets out a hardy laugh followed by a light sigh. "Spence you always had such a colorful imagination." She says before exiting into the bathroom.
Spence looks at the place where her mother stood with a look in her eyes of crushed dreams. I knew she was thinking about Rudy and Candy. She then looks at me and we share a small knowing smile.
We pull up to the front of the mission where the familiar smell of dried urine, tears, and lost hope sweep into the car from the streets. I bet Paula wishes she didn't change into a beige lace dress with white strap up open toe heels. Really, who does that?
The most casual anyone will see me is when I go to the mission. I'm wearing my red UCLA Sweater with my red Nikes, and black D & G jeans. I park into the same spot I have parked in for six years.
We step out the car, walk to the truck, and grab out the food bags, I do while Spence follows as Paula stands there trembling, since she refuse to wear a jacket.
I increase my speed so Spence won't have a chance to catch up to me. When I reach the mission I let a small smile appear. It's amazing how this place brings me joy.
"Is the mission closed?" Paula asks while rubbing her palm up and down her shoulder to her wrist.
"Yes Paula, we come to feed the people who haven't been admitted to the program, the ones who stay in the tents. I say with an annoyed smile.
"You ladies come out here twice a year to do this?" the freezing blonde asks and I take off my sweater to extend it to her while revealing my black long sleeve shirt underneath.
"That's ok, honey" she barely stutters out between all the trembling
"Go ahead take it, my long sleeve is warm enough. Besides I just wear this sweeter to make Spence mad." I say with a genuine smile before I turn to the babe that I want to smirk at so bad but decide against it.
"Ok." Paula snatches the sweater from my hand, tosses it on, and giving herself a bear hug all in one motion. "Thank you." she says with a sigh of relief.
"No worries, I have worn less out here." I grab the bags off the ground. "Shouldn't LA cold be nothing compare to Ohio cold? I ask with a raised brow.
"That would be true, if it wasn't for Arthur insisting that we spend the last few years in the Bahamas more than Ohio, so I'm not really use to any kind of cold weather ." Her face drops a little before she turns to Spence "Why does this sweater make you mad honey?" The older blonde changes the subject by questions her mini me.
"UCLA and USC are competitors and besides Ash didn't even go to the school, she just wears it to tease me." Spence finishes with her brat combo; I get a chill that makes my eyes roll back a little before biting my lip. I shake it off remembering that I am mad at her.
"That's exactly why it shouldn't bother you if I wear it." I say with a teasing smirk that fades when I remember why I am mad at her. I turn my face from her to continue to walk towards the tents, I catch a glimpse of her face before it drops.
"I only come here twice a year. Ashley comes here every day after work to bring her leftover sandwiches, snacks, and salads, and if she's out of left over she'll pick up some food to bring." I turn around to see Spence tell her mom with a proud smile that makes me smile a little.
"Wow, Ashley that's amazing." Paula comments with a smile matching her daughters.
"It's nothing." I say honestly." It's really my duty more than my privilege. I feel I owe this place so much. I look out to the green gates that close in the pink three story building.
9 years earlier
I watched ten number 16 buses pass as I stand at the smoke filled bus stop. I choke on the smoke coming from the inconsiderate bastard standing by the no smoking sign outside of the Greek restaurant, that's across the street from the Beverly Center. I look at the mall and sigh as I inhale the scent of roasted lamb while my stomach quivers and groans. I accidently brush against my side, that's black and purple with stain blood clots when trying to rub my stomach.
"What?" I yell to the innocent bystanders looking at my bruise that's hard to miss with the crop top I'm wearing. "Take a picture it will last longer." I spit out before hopping on the bus.
"That will be a dollar twenty five ma'am or three dollars for an all day pass." the older butter brown skin man with salt and paper hair says.
I stand up from the seat to walk up to him. "You pay to ride this thing? I always thought it was free, come one who would pay to be on this?" I question before looking at the bus filled with people of all ages, sizes, and colors.
I have been in a car since before I could walk, so until now a bus was a bit of an urban legend to me. I smile shyly at the different faces before placing my hands in my empty pockets, that I am very well aware of them being empty, I pull out nothing and smile at the man.
"I don't have any money." I say meekly.
"Then you have to get off the bus." He says in a tired tone. He probably has to deal with people with no money all the time.
I try to plead with him with my eyes but he won't face me. The bus comes to a stop and I hesitate to turn around. I make my way to the three small steps that lead out the bus door.
"Wait." I hear a soft voice. I turn to see the older woman. "I'll pay for her." She gives me such a nurturing smile that I have never seen from my own mother. I smile back at her as I step back on the bus. "Come back here with me deary." The older woman waves to me and I follow her slow slither. The bus driver allows the older woman to take her seat before taking off.
"Thank you." I say with tears in my eyes.
"No worries deary. God blesses us so we can bless others" she says with an assuring smile.
"I don't know if God thinks about me." I look out the bus window passing the many buildings I've never seen. I have a feeling we're not in Beverly anymore.
"Nonsense child. He worries about all his children just like any parent would." I look at her head full of white, pale skin, slender pink lips, and blue bright eyes.
Parents aren't the best example to make me feel that God cares about me, but this woman has come from some place of love, so why not God?
"Does he worry about his gay children?" I ask in a weak voice, I don't have enough energy to be angry at what answer she might give me.
"God loves all his children the same, its people who hate and divide." She smiles brightly. "God makes no mistakes and we are all images from his beautiful hands that he carries us in." she wipes the single tear that rolls down my cheek.
I feel a sense of peace wash over me as a hopeful smile appears across my face.
"Are you hungry?" The older woman hold up a loaf of jalapeño cheddar bread and my stomach groans as a reply. The older woman smiles, "Here you go deary." she hands me half of the loaf and a small carton of milk.
"Barbara." She smiles at me.
"Ashley." I smile back.
Barbara and I talk the whole ride. She tells me how she is originally from Canada. She came out here forty years ago because the love of her life always wanted to live in LA. She tells me that they been together fifty years until he passed last year.
"When you find that one... Never let them go. Man or woman, it doesn't matter, you never let them escape because love is rare. Love is not like finding fish in the sea…it's more like catching a mermaid. You never let them go… you hear me Ashley?" She grabs my hand while looking directly in my eyes. I swallow around the lump in my throat before nodding in agreement.
She pulls the wire for the stop and my heart beats rapidly against my chest as my eyes widen. She gets up, which I do the same as I grab her bags to help her out the door.
I can't let her go yet. I walk with her to a pink building surrounded by a green gate. She walks inside as I follow with her bags in my hand.
"Who is your friend?" The Latino man in his thirties with a buzz cut asks with a wink. I make an ew face as my bread and milk threatens to resurface.
'This is Ashley, and she's not interested… Ricky Ricardo." She smirks at his face that's red from embarrassment. I laugh so hard my side starts to hurt. "Oh dear, let's get some ice for that."
I am supposed to check in to see if I even qualify for the program, but Barbara is like the mother of the mission. Before her husband died they used to donate a lot of time and money here, so no one questions anything she does. After going to the kitchen for some ice I lie on the spare bed in Barbara's room. The bed is free because Barbara refuses to share a room until now.
Barbara made living at the Mission a breeze; honestly I could share a cardboard box with her and be happy. She's the mother I never had and I am the daughter she never had. She's always in good spirits that lift mine. Only time we would argue is when she won't eat or go to doctor.
"Barbara you old bat! Why are you so stubborn?" I spit at her
"Because when you get to be my age you no longer need to be as cute as a show pony." I narrow my eyes and mouth 'what'. "Only thing left for an old girl to be is a mule." She laughs. I try to not laugh with her. My lips go against me as they tremble in protest.
"Ugh! You make me sick." I tease.
"Not as sick as I am, right?" she jokes.
My face drops as I walk in front of her to kneel down. "Barbara I need you, if you're not going to go see about your heath for you… please go for me." I pout.
"Alright, alright… you and that pouty lip and puppy dog eyes, no wonder I didn't have children… I am too much of a softy." We share a smile.
I have been at the shelter for three months and I can say I finally know what being blessed means. It's Halloween and I am in awe staring at everyone having such a good time, as if they have no worries in the world.
"Why you standing there with that goofy look on your face?" Barbara who's dressed in a witch costume, questions.
"It's just amazing." I reply in a daze.
"What is deary?" She smiles wide.
"I have seen people in their forty thousand dollar costumes, stand in their million dollar houses, giving away amounts of money most people will kill for, not wearing half of the smile that these people are."
"Oh deary, happiness doesn't come from the outside it comes from within." She places her hand over my heart. "No one or nothing can make you as happy as you can. People make the mistake of trying to find someone to make them happy when they need to be looking for someone to share in the happiness they already have, as well as sharing in the happiness that person has to give." She looks out to the people carving pumpkins, eating candy, telling ghost stories and smiling. "These people are happy because their spirits are free, unlike the people you used to be around who sell their spirits for temporary happiness."
" I thought Christians didn't celebrate Halloween?" I tease.
"A day is what you make it deary, I don't make it to be the devils day." She says the last part with the quote unquote gesture. "For me Halloween has always been about having grand fun with the people you love, plus I love to create, so I enjoyed making my own costumes. She smiles at me. "Come on." She waves to me.
"Where are we going?" I question, which she hates.
"Don't you know how to follow sometimes?" she smacks her lips.
"I follow you all the time." I laugh.
"Well good, you have to follow first before you can lead." She continues to slither. I don't know what that has to do with anything. Who said anything about leading? "I thought we watch some good ol' vampire movies and I'll make my famous popcorn. I lick my lips at the thought of Barbara's popcorn. She looks back at me with a smile. "This time I'll show you how to make it." I jump up then start to do a happy dance by waving my hands, twisting my hips, and shaking my hair in front of my face. "Girl is you having an exorcism? I know its Halloween, but that's no reason to get possessed." She smirks before turning back to slither. I shake my head and follow.
Three more months pass, Barbara and I are laying in our separate bed in the dark. I'm on my back facing the ceiling while Barbara faces the wall opposite from me. The shelter's on lock down because a woman tried to steal another woman's fruit cup, causing her to get smacked in the head with a tray. No matter how much food is donated there's never enough.
End of Flashback
"I thought you forgot about us child." The old cinnamon colored woman says with the brightest smile on her face.
"Never Ms. Rose… just was a little busy that's all." I smile warmly. The woman places her hand on my face while her eyes tell me everything will be just fine. All the frustration earlier is temporarily removed
"Who is your new friend in her fancy clothes?" She smiles at the older blonde. The frustrations are back.
"Hello I'm Paula, Spencer's mom." The blonde answers while waving with one hand and holding the sweater close to her with the other.
"Spencer, Ashley's better half?" I see Spence tense up right in her spot where she's handing one of the men his food as he reaches aimlessly for it. I clear my throat and she finally gives the man the food. "Before these two-"
"Here you go" Scared of what she might say next I cut her off by handing her a plate..
"Thank you Ashley. Now, what was I saying…oh yeah, before Spence came along all we used to get for a holiday meal was warm jalapeño bread and milk."
I place my hand to my heart in mock offense. "Ms. Rose" I finish with a gasp.
"You know I enjoyed it, but the little lady can get down in the kitchen. I look over to Spence who's blushing.
*Spencer*
After feeding everyone outside of the mission I sit on the trunk of the car with my mother and watch the love of my life. Watching Ashley is like watching a sun rise, you know it's beautiful but it still steal your breath away while giving it back to you in a single motion. I watch her lift their sprits by laughing, joking, and dancing with them, yes dancing. After feeding them Ash always turns on a song from her iPod and has her very own karaoke hour. Even though she's smiling now I know she's upset with me. I let out a puff of air, I don't know how to make it better, or if I can.
"What did that lady mean by you being Ashley's better half?" My mother questions and I don't even look in her direction as my smile fades.
"She was joking mom. They have that type of relationship." I say plainly. I am too tired to put any energy into a better lie. I can't wait until this day is over. Maybe I can get some rest and hopefully if she let me …cuddle up to my favorite girl. We share a glance and she looks away angry. I let out a heavy sigh, I'm not sure if that cuddle is going to happen.
The ride home is painfully quiet while I try to sneak my hand into Ashley's, but she moves it away. I look into the rear view mirror to make sure my mother is still sleeping. I try to reach for Ash's hand again. Once again I am rejected as she pushes her lips out while squeezing them tightly together, something she does when she's really upset.
"Ashley please!" My voice cracks as I plead.
Her demeanor softens a little and I take this opportunity to reach for her hand again this time she lets me. I place her hand to my lips and kiss it softly. She looks over to me and I try to reassure her of my feeling through my eyes.
"Spence you can't just kiss my hand while sexing me with your eyes and think everything will be alright." I wipe a small tear from my face. "As much as I want your body I want your love, your respect, your loyalty." She says in a sad tone and I feel like a complete jerk.
"I'm sorry…I'll try to do better." I look in her sad brown eyes with my watery blues.
She rubs her thumb over my knuckles "That's a start." She places a soft kiss on my knuckles. She flashes me a smile before speaking again. "Sleeping beauty had a long day." she smirks.
"Not as long as our day." I let out a huff of cool air that feels good against my flustered face.
The longer we drive the lighter the tension gets between us. I hold on to Ash's hand for dear life, giving her reassuring squeeze every once in a while for me more than her. The drive from Downtown LA to Beverly Hills isn't a far drive, especially at this time of night. I think Ashley is taking her time because this is the most relaxation we've had all day.
I look at her lovingly and she nibbles on her bottom lip before leaning in to whisper "I can't wait to take all my frustration out on you tonight." She raises a brow and my insides shiver up to my eyes that roll back a little. She continues to drive once the red light we're sitting at turns green.
I'm excited to bury her face into my walls and let her devour me. I want to give her all of me. I want to show her that every inch of me belongs to her. I haven't touched Ashley or haven't had her touch me in this long since, since, since, never.
Whenever I am stressed, which is usually, Ash will slowly lay me down wherever we are in the house, kiss every inch of my body before sliding up my dress or down my pants, taking off my soaked panties, and burying her head between my thighs while caressing my breast. She will make all my frustrations go away as she makes passionate love to me. I need that, I need her hands all over me…I need her.
We pull up to the apartment; I hop out so fast and head for the stairs that lead to the apartments.
"Spence!" My girlfriend calls after me. "Forgetting something?" she leans her head in the direction of my mother who's still sleeping in the back seat.
I blush before running to the back door. "Mom, wake up."
When we get inside where we already have our shower schedules set out. My mother will shower first then Ashley then me. It's so hard to shower without Ashley. Right now one arm would be wrapped around each other's wet body while the other hand is buried in each other's folds. Mhm, I moan at the thought next to my mother hoping she didn't hear me. After Ashley exits the bathroom I run in to take the quickest shower I ever have, for one to rescue Ash from my mom and for two to have my girl all to myself.
When walking out the bathroom I giggle at my mom's silk nightgown, with matching silk robe that both have feather collars, and fuzzy open toe heel house shoes. I would think she would be sick of open toe heels after freezing tonight. I look at Ashley who has her curls caressing her face as she bites her lips. She has so much lust in her eyes that mirrors the lust in mine. She's wearing a light blue tank, no bra…mmmm, with white short, shorts that if she bends over I'll get a small peak of her cute cheeks, please bend over. I walk over to grab my girl's hand when I am side stepped by my mom.
"Honey" I look at her trying to hide my frustration.
"Yes." I say with a hard smile. Ash smacks her teeth a little and I know she's as, if not more flustered than me right now.
"I thought me and you would sleep together?"
"What?!" Ash and I say in unison.
"Mom don't you want your own space to be able to spread out and get comfortable?" I desperately question.
"It can be like our old mommy daughter times. There's some ice cream in the freezer." She smiles. I am about to protest but the sound in her voice with the next sentence gets to me. "It's just been so long since I spent time with you." Ugh! Haven't we just spent all day together? I look at Ashley and she gives me a confirming head nod.
*Ashley*
I flop down on the bed, grab a pillow, place it over my face, and scream into it. I never thought for one, Paula would be staying longer than a day, and for two, taking my space in my bed. I can't deal. I am so horny right now, fuck! All my toys are locked away in me and Spence's room. I guess, good ol' fingers will have to do. I slide my fingers in my white shorts and brush against my already sensitive clit as I enter my soaking folds. I moan at the contact I think of Spencer's blue eyes and rub a little faster moaning a bit more heavy. I see her licking her pink lips and I'm almost there until… Paula sneaky smile pops in my head.
I stop... I begin tapping my fingers against my second pair of lips as I chew on my lip. After a few seconds of fighting the temptation to continue I decide to cum to the image of Paula .
I feel a little dirty after until I think of Spence's theory… 'You're attracted to what causes you pain and sometimes embarrassment. It goes back to having such an abusive mother. Not saying you want to sleep with her; however, your mind has come to the conclusion that pleasure and pain is one in the same.' Well, that explains my attraction to Paula earlier today. Spence used me as her case study for her dissertation.
I lie there tossing and turning, I can't go to sleep. I nibble my lip then grab my large baby blue purse to pull out my hot pink iphone to send Spence a text. I hope her phone is near her.
Ashee Bear: I miss you
Spence Kitten: I need you :(
Ashee Bear: Yay! You replied :) I need you more :(
Spence kitten: Baby, I have to go my mother is lurking …so sorry
I lay the phone next to me as I think back of how we got our ridiculous nicknames and a smile spreads across my face.
3 years earlier
Spence and I have been living together for three months now. She's so adorable, everyday she says I am going to sleep in my room, but she invites me or I come into her bed. I don't even have furniture in my room. I giggle to myself.
"What are you thinking about?" I turn around to the voice that's sent from haven.
I smirk, "thinking about you naked." I wiggle my brows.
She shakes her head before placing one foot in front of the other as she seductively walks forward. She licks her lip before taking her bottom lip in under her teeth. "You spoke it into existence so now I have to make it come true."
She unbuttons her blouse, tosses it, and then unfastens her belt before tossing her pants. She runs her fingers through her hair lifting it to the top of her head while I stare in awe. I tackle her to the ground pulling off her panties and bra before ripping off my clothes.
The sun has gone down as I lay my chin on my girl's chest while she runs her fingers through my hair.
"How long have we been down here?" she asks in a lazy voice
I look up at the clock. "You were going to get morning coffee when we started and now it's night time, so a while." I wink then rotate my tongue on her neck followed by kisses.
"Baby stop." She whines while pulling my hair a little, which makes me suck on her neck, causing her to let out a husky moan.
I lay back on her chest while looking into her sleepy eyes. "Babe." She tilts her head for me to continue. I let out a small sigh. I don't know why I'm nervous, we live together, we sleep together, but I guess this is serious. "I want to take you out on a date Spence." I breathe out.
A wide smile spreads across her face. "What, no song and dance?"
I playfully smack her arm." Spence." I pout and she kisses it away. "I couldn't think of a song and dance fast enough." I whine.
She bites her lip and thinks for a minute. "What about when you took me to 'The Grub' or all the other food places." She inquires.
I laugh. "Spence, I was feeding you because come on babe, you got to eat after such a heavy workout." I wink. "I would never have a date with you without asking first, so I am asking."
She licks her lips before smiling again. "I would love to go out on a date with you Ashley Davies." I give her grin that reveals all of my teeth.
"Good, tomorrow at 6?" she nods."I'll have a car pick you up." I say never taking my eyes off of the flawless sight in front of me.
Its Halloween my favorite day and I wouldn't want my first date with the woman who makes my heart sing to be on any other day. I know Spence stresses for no reason, so I thought a bit of fun would be good for her. Plus she told me her mother never let her dress up and she hasn't celebrated the day since she moved to LA, so I want to give her a chance to experience the day I love so much.
I'll have the car drive her to the 'Hollywood Toys & Costume' shop two hours before our date and an hour after I'll leave. The place will be crazy crowed, but the owner is a regular customer of mine so she'll give Spence the same fast pass treatment as me.
Six o'clock strikes and even in all this fur I am freezing from my nerves as I stand in front of 'The Pleasure Chest.' My mouth drops as my blonde beauty steps out the car with teased hair, blood red lip stick, a cat mask over her eyes, cat ears, and a sleeveless full leather body suit, with one leg bare. Along with leather up the arm gloves and leather seven inch heels. I walk over to her in a daze with birds of paradise, her favorite flower, in my hand. She takes them and looks down at them lovingly.
"Thank you." she smiles at me and I mimic the gesture.
"Wow, Spence I look like a fool compare to you." I say taking in all her sex appeal.
"Ash, I feel like a cliché with this on." She says looking at the ten girls walking into the shop with full leather body suits."
I giggle earning me a stern look. "I'm not laughing at you Spence…" I pause. I look her up and down. "I'm not laughing at you Spence kitten." She raises her brow. "Those women aren't in costume; they're the entertainment for the S&M show." Her eyes widen. I snuggle into her neck "I thought we could learn some things." She blushes and turns away, I turn her face back to me kissing her lips softly. I grab her flowers placing them in the back seat of the car. She locks her arms with mine as we head for the door.
"Does this mean I call you Ashee bear?" She says while looking at my white five piece suite with red bow tie, huge fuzzy brown bear ears, feet, and hands. She kisses my small bear nose.
I smirk "I told you can call me anything you want."
"I don't think you look like a fool, I think you look adorable." She says with a loving smile. I'm not used to looking adorable; I'm more of a sexy kind of girl. I'm sure Spence is not used to dressing this sexy either. It's funny how we bring out different sides in each other.
When inside the shop Spence is frozen in her spot. She takes in the dim lights of the two story shop, that has red walls and against those walls are different color and material dildos, different kinds of lubes, whips, chains, and a huge porn section upstairs. I've been to many sex shops and 'Pleasure Chest' is the one to be at. It is the best, and Spence deserves the best, plus this shop is sexy with the right amount of dirty just like her.
"What, there aren't any sex shops in Kansas? I tease
"Ha, Ha, Ha, Very funny." She says dryly. "I don't think they have any in Ohio." She says narrowing her eyes at me while crossing her arms. "Even if they did with my mother and slave master Debbie I wouldn't have been able to go."
"Well, you're in for a treat Dorothy." She smacks my arm playfully as I pull her upstairs to the show.
After the show we buy some glass dildos, leather paddles, steel hand cuffs, lube, and a few feathers that we place in the car. We walk to our next portion of the date. Since Spence never got to see got to see Halloween and even if she did I'm sure Ohio can't do it like LA. I decide to take her to the biggest Halloween party ever…the streets of WeHo.
We walk around West Hollywood seeing homemade mermaid costumes where the woman is pulled in a giant wagon fish bowl. We see Jack in the box, McDonalds, the king from Burger King, and the Wendy's girl all together. Spence doesn't care too much for crowds so I keep her on the inside of me so no one will bump her; even though, she's not a fan of crowds she's a fan of the site. Half naked men and women. She lights up with excitement from all the new sights. She smiles wide as she has me take pictures of her and the drag queens.
As we walk down the street people from the roof of their homes throw down all kinds of candy and the crowd goes wild. We get to the end of the block where Madonna drag queen impersonators are doing the song 'Vogue'. They pull me up on stage, once on stage I reach for Spence who tries to protest but I grab up anyway and we vogue. Once the song is over they shoot confetti, fireworks, and release balloons.
"I understand why this day means so much to you now." She shouts over the music.
"Why do you think it means so much to me Spence?" I shout back.
"Look at how amazing this is Ash." she smiles wide
"You are amazing." I smirk. I move in close to her ear."Spence this day means a lot to me because I get to share it with the people I care about. I don't need any grand gestures to make it amazing, but you deserve grand gestures." I pull back a little to look into her eyes.
She tilts her head. "You are a grand enough gesture for me." she kisses my check.
After the concert we finally get to Egocentric's annual Halloween party. Spence and I traded shoes because her feet started hurting as soon as we started the walk. She's not use to wearing such high heels like I am.
I have every moment planned at Ego for my lady and I. I have ghost stories set up to honor her and Rudy's tradition. Then to honor me and Barbara tradition we'll watch real vampire movies since the only vampire movie Spence has seen is "Twilight", then we'll snack on Barbara's famous recipe on the stove garlic, Cajun, rosemary popcorn.
I had 'The Grub' delver their big ass pancake for us to split like we did when we made the move in official for our candle light dinner on the roof that overlooks the city.
End flash back
I sigh as I get lost in the thoughts of me and Spence. Maybe we can get through this. Yes, we can get through this! I try to reassure myself before drifting to sleep as I reassure myself over and over again.
*Spence *
"Spence this is so good" My mom says while putting a large spoonfuls of Ash's green tea rice cream in her mouth. "You sure this isn't ice cream?" she questions while pointing her spoon to the now almost empty container. "Did you want some?" She asks with her mouth full.
"Yes, I'm sure it's not ice cream because it's made from rice, hints the name, and not milk." I flash a quick smile. "No thank you, I don't want any." Like there's any to have I roll my eyes slightly.
This feels just like old mommy and daughter times with me being miserable while my mother enjoys her cream. Except this time it's even worse since my grown mother and my grown self are sharing a bed instead of me being next to my beautiful girlfriend among other things. I groan inwardly before turning around to look down at my phone. I smile at the picture of Ashley with her paws to her face as she looks away from the camera.
3 years earlier
This was the best date of my life and I want to show Ashley my appreciation by giving her all of me. We came crashing on the door between rough tongue kisses as we tear off each other's animal ears, my gloves, her paws, my mask, her nose,. We're about to do it right there before nosey Ms. Perry comes peeking her whole body out the door. What the what! Ash puts the key in the door slamming me on it with the bag of toys and my flowers in a one hand
She kicks closed the door trying to slam me down on the floor and I flip her over and get on top. She likes when I top her, I can tell by the way she smirks up at me. I grab her up by her bow tie; turn her around so she's facing the couch, pull down her pants revealing her red thong. a wide grin to spread across my face as I take the paddle out the bag and release slow long swipes against her cheeks causing her to moan, which I do the same.
I lick the red area then kiss it as I remove her blazer, vest, shirt, and bra before licking up her back. I slide her soaked thong down her inner thighs all the way to her ankles. I replace the paddle in my hand with a glass dildo. I place it between her wet lips while sliding the smooth edges against her clit as I tease her while my other hand is on her shoulder squeezing and rubbing it. I am kissing her deeply and she whimpers into my lips. That's all I needed before rotating the dildo in and out of her as her juices drip down it all the way to my hand.
End of Flashback
" Spencer.. Spencer…Spencer?" I'm taken out of my thoughts by my mother who's looking directly in my eyes while shaking her head.
"Where did you go just now?" She questions.
"Somewhere I'm not going tonight." I mumble.
"Pardon me?"
"I said I'm sorry mom, I guess I'm tired." I lie with a slight head tilt.
"Maybe we should get some rest she says before turning over."
I lie back on the bed biting down on my bottom lip. I am so frustrated I can't even masturbate. I guess this is my own fault for keeping me and Ash a secret. I don't know how much longer I can go without being next to, under, on top, or in my girlfriend.
I let out a heavy sigh and hope for my sake, I don't know how much more Ashley can take, that thing s will be better tomorrow. I pray that it will over and over again as I drift to sleep.
A/N: I live off your energy; in other words, the reviews you leave equals the updates you get. Tell me what did you think, love, hate, enjoyed. What did it make you feel or remind you of? Did anything leave you lost? What questions do you have? Fumbling Towards Ecstasy: any comments on grammar?
Thank you all again for reading (: