We open up at the Arbuckle house, where we see Garfield, Jon, Odie, and Lyman lying down on the couch.
"Boy, this sure was a tough day." Jon sighed. "It's tough having to draw a month's worth of cartoons in just one day, but it puts bread on the table."
"Tell me about it." said Lyman. "Making good photos of wildlife is a real drag, especially when those rangers and tourists arrive for camping to ruin the scenery."
"Eating like a pig sure is tough, especially when you have to leave for others." Garfield said in his thoughts.
"Ruff! Ruff!" Odie barked.
"Fine..." Garfield rolled his eyes. "This happens every time I pig out."
Odie began licking Garfield's paws, which smelled of the food he ate.
"I just wanna take a nice shower and fall asleep." Jon yawned. "I can't move a single muscle."
"Well I'm gonna just plop down on this couch and watch some good TV." Lyman said. "Right, Odie?"
"Ruff!" Odie barked.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
"Who could that be?" Jon wondered as he got up from the couch.
He opened up the door and saw a fat man bald man eating a sandwich.
"Hiya Johnny boy!" said the man. "Look at you! So much bigger than when you were one day old."
"Um, do I know you?" Jon raised an eyebrow.
"Oh silly, Johnny! It's me, your dear old Uncle Ed!" said the man. "I was just passing by and I have decided to stay with you for a while."
Jon tried to speak, "Well, I um..."
"Oh thank you, Johnny! You're such a sweetheart!" the man patted Jon on the back and let himself in.
"Hey wait!" Jon went after the man.
Just then, Uncle Ed walked over to the couch and sat right in the middle of it, leaving barely any space for Lyman and the pets.
"Ah, bout time." Ed chuckled.
"Um, who are you?" Lyman asked the man. "And do you mind scooting?"
"Uh guys, this is my Uncle Ed." said Jon. "Apparently, he's going to stay with us for a few days. I didn't even know I had an Uncle Ed."
"Great, another visit from one of Jon's horrible relatives." Garfield thought. "This will definitely end badly."
Later that day, everyone had gathered together for dinner.
Jon arrived with a plate of roast beef, "Roast beef for everyone."
"You made my favorite, Johnny." said Uncle Ed.
But before Garfield could pick up the food with his fork, Ed grabbed all of it and swallowed the whole thing.
"This is good, but next time, make it medium rare." Ed said as he chewed the food.
"Wow, someone actually beat me to all this delicious food." Garfield thought. "Now I know this is gonna be bad."
Jon placed a bowl of mashed potatoes on the table, "Mashed potatoes..."
Before Garfield could get any, Ed grabbed the potatoes and started eating them all too.
"This is the best." He said as he ate the potatoes.
"I didn't even bring out any gravy." Jon remarked.
Ed snatched the gravy boat out of Jon's hand and started drinking it, much to everyone's disgust.
"Can you put us in a pet kennel until he leaves?" Garfield glared at Jon.
"Ruff!" Odie barked.
"Jon, you're not gonna let that uncle of yours eat all our food like that?" Lyman asked his roommate.
"Yeah, eating all the food is my job." Garfield thought.
"Don't worry, Lyman." said Jon. "Uncle Ed is my uncle and I'm sure he won't stay for long."
Jon didn't know how wrong he was, because the next few days had been a living Hell for all four of the residents.
That night, Jon went to sleep in his bed, but before he could get inside, he saw Ed sleeping in it, snoring up a storm. He went down the hall to the living room and sleep on the couch, only to hear Ed's incessant snoring again. He then went to Lyman's room in the basement, where he saw his roomie and the pets with noise cancelling headphones. He crashed onto Lyman's couch and covered his head with throw pillows.
The very next day, Garfield, Odie, Jon, and Lyman made a bowl of popcorn and went to the kitchen to watch some TV.
"Our favorite movie is on TV right now, guys." said Jon.
"That's a real breath of fresh air." Garfield said in his thoughts.
But before they could get to the TV, Uncle Ed was right in the chair in his underwear and tank top.
"Um, Uncle Ed..." Jon tapped on his uncle's shoulder. "Do you mind?"
"Oh boy!" Ed said as he grabbed the popcorn and ate it all. "Now make me another batch with more butter."
Later that day, the pizza man arrived with a whole stack of pizza boxes. Garfield opened up the door.
"Excuse me," said the delivery man. "But I have ten pizzas..."
Garfield rubbed his paws together, "Those are mine!"
"...with anchovies." the delivery man finished.
Garfield made a disgusted face, "Those are not mine."
Just then Uncle Ed walked over and took the pizzas from the man's hand. "Pay the man, Johnny!"
Jon reluctantly paid the man, "Don't worry, Garfield. He's gonna leave...soon."
The very next day, things had gotten even worse. Lyman had to use the bathroom, but there was one unfortunate problem, Uncle Ed was inside.
"Hurry up in there, Ed!" Lyman banged on the door. "You've been in there for hours and I really have to go!"
"Be patient, I"m not done!" Ed said from behind.
After over an hour, Uncle Ed finally came out of the bathroom.
"Don't go in there!" Ed laughed.
Lyman sighed, grabbed some spray, and a gas mask and walked inside the bathroom. "That bum had better leave soon."
Over the next two weeks, Ed had eaten everything, forced Jon to pay for all the food he ordered, hogged the bathroom, and hogged pretty much everything in general.
"This has gone far enough!" Lyman told Jon. "Jon, your uncle has got to go!"
"I never thought I'd say this, but Lyman's right." Garfield thought. "That guy is more of a pig than me. I haven't pigged out since he came and when I don't eat, I get frisky!"
"Come on guys, he's not that bad." said Jon.
Just then, Uncle Ed came along, "You know nephew, I was thinking of leaving, but you have been so nice to me, I might as well stay for a few more weeks or months."
"WHAT?!" Jon gasped.
"And would you mind repainting the house? I'm tired of this color." Ed continued. "And could you make prime rib for dinner more often? And pick me up a little list of things while you're at it."
Ed handed Jon a really long list of things, this was the final straw.
"Looks like Jon is about to blast." thought Garfield. "I'd better let him out."
Jon raced out of the house and started screaming. "AAAHHHH! GET HIM OUT! GET HIM OUT!"
"That's all I wanted to hear." Garfield thought. "Come on Odie, we've gotta get rid of an unwanted relative."
"Ruff!" Odie barked.
Garfield and Odie walked to the kitchen, where Uncle Ed was taking everything from the fridge.
"Look at him, Odie." Garfield glared at the bald guy. "Stealing my midday snack. I'll take care of him."
"Ruff?" Odie barked.
"Just follow me." Garfield smirked.
Odie shrugged and followed Garfield to the fridge, where they found a can of whipped cream. Garfield shook the can and filled both his and Odie's mouths with cream.
As Uncle Ed walked over to the living room, Garfield and Odie approached him and started snarling and growling at him with their whipped cream-filled mouths.
"AAAHHH!" Ed screamed and ran to the living room, dropping the food on the floor.
"At last, some snacking for the pets." Garfield thought as he looked down at the food.
"Ruff?" Odie barked.
"Don't worry pal, it's what pets do." Garfield smirked.
Garfield and Odie started to wolf down on all of the food that Ed dropped.
Meanwhile back in the hallway, Jon and Lyman were talking about Uncle Ed's over extended visit.
"Alright Jon, it's time for you to have a serious confrontation with your uncle." said Lyman.
Jon tried to talk, "But Lyman-"
"No buts, Jon!" Lyman said sternly. "You are going to tell that old fool to get out of here and go home!"
Jon breathed in deeply, "You're right. I'm going to do it!"
Just then, Uncle Ed came running into the room. "Johnny! Your animals have gone crazy! Get rid of those beasts at once!"
"Now just listen here Uncle Ed!" Jon said boldly. "You're going to have to-"
Just then, the doorbell rang before Jon could finish standing up to his uncle. The three walked to the door and revealed a woman with blonde hair.
Ed gasped, "Edna?!"
"Yes, it's me, Ed!" said the woman. "I've been looking all over for you. I should have known you'd try to visit one of our relatives to cheat on your diet."
Garfield, Odie, Jon, and Lyman all looked at each other with confused faces as Edna started scolding Ed.
Ed whined, "But Edna..."
"No buts! You're going home with me and back on 300 calories Ed Arbuckle!" Edna said as she grabbed Ed by the ear and took him away. "I'm terribly sorry for all the trouble he's caused you, Jon. I assure you, I'll make sure he never comes again."
As soon as Jon's aunt and uncle left the house, Jon closed the door and the four roommates sat down on the couch.
"Well that was convenient." Lyman remarked.
"Yeah, I guess everyone has a couple of annoying relatives." Jon shrugged.
"Unfortunately, that's all you have." Garfield thought.
Just then, the doorbell rang again and Jon went to answer it. At it was a fat red-haired old woman with glasses and a tracksuit.
"Hey Jon! It's me, Aunt Ivy!" the woman bitterly said. "I've come to stay with you and that roommate of yours!"
Jon just slammed the door in the woman's face and walked right back to the couch.
"Who was it?" asked Lyman.
"No one important." Jon deadpanned.
THE END
Author's Note:
I guess blood isn't thicker than water, but Jon sure as heck is. So comes another end to another set of stories with Garfield and his friends, now get ready for a set of love-themed stories for Valentine's Day.