The It Couple
Chapter Twenty-One
Inuyasha's phone was buzzing off the hook. He grunted and reached out a very colorful bandaged hand to grab it off the bedside table.
Ten missed calls from Miroku. Had to be a new record. Oh, and several texts.
"Answer your phone."
"Inuyasha answer your phone."
"Looks like you're in the gossip rags this morning for that wonderful stunt you pulled at Nobu. Answer your phone."
"No charges pressed by Naraku. Prob can thank Sango for that, now answer your phone."
"You got a Globe nomination last night answer your phone."
"And you got the LA Film Critics Best Actor award answer your damn phone."
"Fuck and the NY Film Critics one too and a Critics Choice nom dude you swept it now ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE."
Inuyasha smirked, then looked down at Kagome, sleeping in his arms, their limbs entangled so tightly it was a wonder either of them actually got to sleep last night.
He tossed his phone onto the bedside table and laid back down.
"What?" Kikyou cried, "To Mongolia?"
Naraku kept packing his clothes, his dopey grin beneath his heavily bandaged nose betraying how happy he was. "Babe, you don't get it. I'm gonna be the new Conan the Demonslayer. This is huge. A real credit to my career."
Sango kept sipping her chamomile tea and avoided Kikyou's gaze. How singularly innocent she must look this morning. She had certainly dressed for the occasion. What better color than carnation pink to make one look non-threatening?
Kikyou, still clad in her silk dressing gown, threw her arms around Naraku's waist from behind. "But you were gonna be my date to the Globes!" she whined, "And the Oscars! I thought you wanted to go to the Oscars!"
"Don't you worry, babe," Naraku said, disentangling himself from her nonchalantly and continuing to pack with that same doofy smile on his face, "By this time next year, you can be my date."
Oooooh. Sango quickly sipped on her tea to muffle the temptation to laugh. Kikyou looked livid, but recovered quickly.
"Wh-what am I gonna do without you?" Kikyou demanded, her whine growing higher and higher pitched, "There's no cell phone or internet where you're going!"
"Oh, babe," Naraku said, pulling her into a rough and enveloping hug (through which Sango could see Kikyou's furious and uncomfortable expression), "Don't worry. You'll be amazing. There's nothing wrong with going without a date."
Sango burst out laughing and coughed to cover it up. She didn't need to look at Kikyou's face to know what reaction that statement had elicited. Go alone? To the Oscars? Seven or eight months after unceremoniously dumping her equally famous and much more likable fiance? The idea was hilarious, Sango had to admit, but it wasn't like Kikyou was the dump-ee here. Hard to make a solo cheater look sympathetic to voters. A companion at least made people think, "Well, someone can stand the bitch."
"Fine!" Kikyou screeched, "We're through! See if I care! I'll just stay at home for all of it!" She slammed her hand on the wall to accentuate her point. The young maid cleaning the baseboards right below her cringed a little and ducked out of the way.
"Actually," Sango said firmly, "That's not an option."
Kikyou looked over at Sango almost as if she had just noticed the young woman sipping tea on her living room couch. I've been here over an hour and you know it, you stuck-up little-easy girl, she cautioned herself.
"I don't remember addressing you at all," Kikyou snapped, moving to turn back to Naraku, who had in that moment left the room to grab his weightlifting belt (had to pack the essentials, naturally).
Alright, then, bitch, you wanna do this? Fine. Sango was in no fucking mood to be talked down to anymore. Time to play hardball.
"That's alright," Sango said sweetly, "because I couldn't help overhearing and I thought I could contribute."
"You were wrong," Kikyou snapped dismissively.
"Was I? Pretty sure I've contributed already."
Kikyou looked a little confused and Sango pounced. She'd tasted blood and since she was in such a foul disposition, she wanted more.
"When I say I have, I don't mean me, directly, of course," she sipped her tea, "but Sunrise Studios, whom I represent and who made you who you are today, has contributed quite the large sum not only to this dumpster fire of a movie, but to your entire Oscar campaign. So no, staying home for the remainder of awards season is not an option."
Kikyou nearly squeaked in indignation. Clearly no one had spoken to her like this in a very long time, maybe never.
"I will call Warner right now," she said, her voice trembling with rage, "I'll-I'll have you fired. How dare you."
"Oh, I dare," Sango muttered, "and you aren't calling anyone, because there's no one at that studio but me who can get you the Oscar this year. Even with a middling performance in a largely forgettable movie."
Kikyou was at a loss for words.
"Call Warner if you want," Sango said, getting up to open and hold the front door for Naraku, who reached through and motioned to the chauffeur parked outside that he needed help with his luggage, "Go ahead."
There was a moment of silence. Sango could see the wheels turning in Kikyou's head.
And then...Kikyou smiled sweetly.
"I think we got off on the wrong foot," she said, "I'm so sorry. What with this sudden news of Naraku leaving, and with the drama with Inuyasha yesterday, and I can't find my sister… I've been a little out of sorts. Please forgive me."
"Aw, damn, I'm out of tea," Sango said, casting a bemused look at her empty cup and saucer.
"Oh, please," Kikyou said eagerly, taking the dishes from her hand, "Let me." She turned on her heel and barked into the kitchen, "Kaede! Our guest needs a fresh cup of tea!"
The poor elderly housekeeper waddled into the room. Kikyou dropped the dishes into her hands with a loud clack and turned back to Sango.
"Now then," Sango said, avoiding the temptation to help the poor old lady up the stairs, "There's only one person you could possibly have as your date to the Globes at this point. Unless you want to go the charitable route and take a homeless war veteran. That's plenty of voter cred right there."
Kikyou grimaced slightly.
"Yeah," Sango said, "I didn't think that was your bag either. So there's only one other viable option."
Sango's phone buzzed for the umpteenth time this morning. She knew who it was and so she ignored it.
"Good morning."
Kagome, who had been slowly blinking awake, sat up with a start, realized she wasn't wearing anything, gave a small "eep" of surprise, leaped to cover herself-
"Whoa there," Inuyasha said from his position next to her, draping a hand over her hip, "Too much energy. Take it down a notch."
Kagome stared at him, breaking into a smile. "Holy shit," she said, holding the sheet over her face in delirious happiness, "Last night really happened, didn't it?"
"Unless somehow we both blacked out and dreamed the same dream," he said dully, his hand stroking small circles on her skin.
"We did the thing!" Kagome said with a laugh, trying to run her hands through her wild tangle of curls and failing (too messy, would have to comb it in the shower later).
Inuyasha laughed. "We did do the thing. Several times."
Kagome wasn't sure what to call this feeling. Could you die from happiness? She was giddy. She felt stupid, but a good stupid.
With a sigh, she flopped onto her back. "We actually did the thing. I never thought-I never even dreamed-"
Words failed her, so she propped up on her elbow and turned to face him, mirroring his position.
"Maybe stop calling it 'The Thing', though," Inuyasha said, reaching up to brush her hair out of her face, "That's a science fiction movie."
"It's a horror movie."
"It's both," he said smoothly, and they grinned at each other, then leaned together for another kiss. How many is that now? Holy shit I've lost count. This is amazing.
"Are you ever gonna stop grinning like an idiot?" Inuyasha said after they parted.
"Only when you do, moron," she shot back, and he pulled her close so her forehead rested against his collarbone.
"Seriously, though," he said into her hair, "How do you feel?"
She thought for a minute, then said, "I feel like high-fiving myself."
He snorted. "That would be clapping."
"What about you?" She snuggled into his chest. He held her tighter.
"I feel weird. But a good weird. Does that make sense?"
She nodded. "That's about where I'm at too."
"Want some breakfast?"
"Sure. Can I borrow some boxers and a tank top, as per usual?"
"I'll do you one better. You can have all that and a robe, this time."
"Uh oh, watch out, buddy, you're spoiling me," she laughed as they sat up and moved to get dressed.
"So let's hash this out," Sango continued, ignoring her phone buzzing in her pocket once again, "You got a Globe nom and a Critics Choice nom, but neither of the Film Critics Awards. Normally I wouldn't worry about that, but the categories for both the awards you're nominated for are generally much broader and easier to get into than the Oscars."
"Stupid Meryl Streep," Kikyou muttered, "She gets nominated every year like clockwork for breathing in an accent, and I had to learn to bellydance for this role."
"You poor dear," Sango said, careful to keep the edge of sarcasm out of her voice, "And it looks like Inuyasha swept all of his nominations last night. Interesting."
Kikyou put her head in her hands, black hair streaming all around her shoulders. "It's not fair!" she griped, as if Sango over the last thirty minutes had suddenly morphed into a good girlfriend of hers with which to gossip and complain, "We did the same movie, didn't we? How is his performance getting so many better reviews?"
Probably because he spent the duration of the shoot learning his lines and getting into character while you spent a good chunk of it screwing your beefcake costar, Sango thought but didn't say. She was getting a migraine.
Her phone buzzed again. She ignored it again.
"So if I'm not winning an award for the Film Critics," Kikyou said, reaching up to take a bottle of mineral water from Kaede's outstretched hand, "then I don't have to go, right?"
"Wrong," Sango said, "You need to go to show respect for the awards. And also as Inuyasha's date."
Kikyou groaned dramatically and took a sip of her water.
"Kikyou," Sango said evenly, "We need you in the public eye now more than ever. You want that Oscar, don't you?"
Kikyou narrowed her eyes contemptuously and sank back in sullen silence. "You have to make him be nice to me, at least."
Woman I am a publicist not a goddamn hypnotherapist-
"We'll certainly explain the situation to him," Sango said with a complacent smile, "You'll have to work your particular brand of magic for the rest. Also, have you seen your sister this morning? I have a few things to go over with her, like about the brand she'll be wearing to the film's premiere in three days' time." She fought to keep her tone casual; she'd been trying to get in touch with Kagome all last night with no luck and knew that what she and Miroku had talked about had probably happened but she wanted to call and be sure and oh, man, was this a whopper of a migraine.
Kikyou seemed to have forgotten that Kagome would now be her red carpet guest as well, and she scoffed. "I don't know where that girl is," she said testily, "And always when I need her the most!"
"I'm sure she's just out running errands," Sango said quickly. Best not to arouse suspicions. Not with Kikyou Higurashi. Sango had her right where she needed her.
"I get it, I get it," Miroku grumbled, "No one wants to talk to me."
Already well into his first drink of the day and it was only ten in the morning. He was a hot mess and he knew it. At least he still looked good.
Phone in hand, he collapsed onto his bed, still in his bathrobe and fresh out of the shower, avoiding spilling his drink through sheer fucking practice. He hadn't gotten any sleep last night. He'd paced the floors of his spacious living room, tempted to pull an Inuyasha and break a few potted plants. He'd contemplated rushing back over to Sango's and begging her to let him inside, let him talk to her, let him apologize. And each time, he'd checked himself. He needed to let things cool down.
Absently, he pulled up the celebrity gossip hub on his phone. There, in obnoxious pink headline, were the words.
"KIKYOU HIGURASHI AND BOYFRIEND SPLIT DAYS BEFORE 'RED ROBE' PREMIERE."
Raising an eyebrow, he clicked on the article. Sango, you've been busy the past few hours. He quickly shook her from his mind and read on.
"Kikyou Higurashi and her boyfriend of six months, Naraku Warui, have called it quits as of last week, sources close to the couple tell us. This is after reports surfaced of an altercation between Naraku and Kikyou's ex-flame Inuyasha at Nobu in Los Angeles last night, in which a punch was apparently thrown. No reports on who threw the punch or whether authorities were called, but several patrons dining at Nobu seemed to recall the confrontation starting when Kikyou was found dining with her former fiance by Naraku. More details as they are released."
Sango really had been busy. So this was her fix-it game. It was good, he had to give her that. Now if only she'd return his calls. It was weird not having her in his ear all day long, sharing ideas and schemes, sitting beside him on the couch as she made phone calls, her ponytail draped over his shoulder as she leaned into him affectionately even while dressing down some event planner on the other end of the line…
Well, he had a plan to get back in her good graces. Hopefully without too much bloodshed. He was starting to grow a conscience and it was weirding him out.
He finished his drink, set the glass on his bedside table, and jumped up to get dressed. People might not want to talk to him right now, but Inuyasha and Kagome would have to, dammit.
A little more fluff for Inu/Kag. Nothing but hearts dancing in front of my eyes. I'm sorry in advance for what I'm going to do in the coming chapters but I am a cruel person who enjoys torturing myself and others. They're such a cute and precious and perfect couple and this world is too wicked and cold. Also I laughed out loud like a crazy person writing the Kikyou-Sango scenes. Sango is taking no more BS. She's in a bad mood and out for people's throats. Miroku probably should steer clear for a bit hahaha - meggz0rz