~Spiritmask~

Forcing my fur to lay flat, I glared at my mate, Hazel. "Y-You attacked a medicine cat apprentice," I spluttered, my body shaking heavily in the freezing leaf-fall wind. Hazel looked down at her paws, her hazel eyes dark. "And trespassed onto ThunderClan territory. I can't believe you, Hazel…" She attacked Wasppaw, medicine cat apprentice of ThunderClan. Even worse, she has no mentor. ThunderClan will want to start a war with us for sure.

"Spiritmask, I'm sorry! I only wanted to find Dove! She's our Clanmate, remember?" yelped Hazel, her meow edged with pain. But Violetstar would've sent a patrol to find her, mouse-brain! I almost choked out those words, my breath heavy. Don't upset Hazel more, you dumb mouse-brain. She's already grieving over Dove. "Spiritmask, I'm trying to help! Don't you see?"

Shaking my head, I closed my eyes. "I know, Hazel. But you were the one to scare Dove away. You were the one who trespassed onto ThunderClan territory. And you attacked that apprentice." I took a step towards her, sighing to myself. "Hazel, I'll always love you, but…maybe it's best we split for a while." But I don't want to...I always want to be with Hazel no matter what. But Hazel still did something wrong. I can't be with her for now.

Hazel narrowed her eyes. "You just want to get rid of me like everyone else, don't you? All because I accidentally scared off Dove and hurt Wasppaw." She curled her lip. No, that's not what I- "It's okay to admit it, Spiritmask. You've always hated me, and that you only took me as a mate because you pitied me enough to trick me into loving you." You're crazier than a fox in a fit, Hazel! Clenching my jaws shut, I didn't dare sprout that out of my mouth either. Hazel's still sensitive over this. You can make her see reason. You are a mediator. "And now Violetstar's sending me on that patrol to find Dove only to get rid of me! Why won't anyone truly love me?"

I licked her cheek fur. "I do love you, Hazel. It's just that…maybe we need some time apart from one another." She took a few steps away from me, her gaze wide. The dark ginger tabby shoved past me, her pelt bristling in anger. H-Hazel! "W-Wait, Hazel! Come back!" She whipped her head to face me, her eyes glinting with anger.

"Why should I? After all, we needed some time apart." snapped Hazel, her tail lashing in anger. I'm sorry…I didn't mean for you to get so upset… "From now on, think before you speak." Hazel stormed back into the SkyClan camp entrance, shooting daggers at me. Oh, StarClan Hazel. I love you so much… I gingerly padded after her, gazing at her beautiful dark ginger coat and long, tangled, glossy fur. Suppressing a loud purr, I walked over to our adopted daughter, Blaze. She glanced at me, her green eyes sparkling with anger. Was that…because of Hazel? No. It can't be. Hazel and I raised her. Blaze wouldn't hate either of us- right? We're a family.

Blaze growled softly. "Hazel attacked my best friend, Spiritmask. Stop trying to convince yourself that she's a good cat." She snarled, her voice a hiss. "Wasppaw's only a medicine cat apprentice. Hazel's the deputy of SkyClan. There's a large gap there, Spiritmask." Hazel's a good cat! She really is! Why can you only see the faults instead of the good? Blaze brought up a forepaw to her muzzle, beginning to groom herself. "Aren't you going to start cooing over her like a dove, telling me how I'm wrong for hating her for a crime? Because it's weird that you haven't already." I've never said you were wrong, but…I guess you really don't understand Hazel. And you never will, since you haven't put any effort into it.

"Blaze, just keep your jaws shut about Hazel. She's my mate and I love her; no crime of her's will change that." I grumbled, my claws unsheathing and sheathing as Blaze's sharp green gaze narrowed. "You'll never understand her, I see that now."

The brownish gray she-cat rolled her eyes. "Why should I try to understand her? She's always overbearing, snappy, and brutish- why would you even think that I would want to connect to someone like that in my life? I hate her, and if she really cared about us and SkyClan she'd knock it off with her stupidity." A sharp, deep flash of pain and anger scorched my heart. Hazel and I raised her. Hazel and I found Blaze during that harsh leaf-bare. We gave her love and support her entire life, and this is what we get? Unappreciative behavior? No. I won't stand for it.

"Shut your trap, Blaze! Maybe if you could think about someone other than yourself for once, then maybe you'd be able to see that you're wrong!" I spat in fury. Turning away from her, I growled softly. "Just stay away from me until you learn some respect for your Clanmates." Blaze parted her jaws to protest, but quickly closed them once she realized that I wouldn't respond to a fox-heart like her. Glancing over in the Perched Rock's direction, I sighed. Maybe Violetstar won't exile Hazel once she got back from the journey. Maybe Hazel will forgive me after she gets back. Maybe things with Blaze will end up just fine. Maybe- stop telling yourself that, you hopeless fool. You'll only disappoint yourself in the long run. Staring down at my paws, my vision began clouding up as the thoughts echoed in my head. You ruined your relationship with Hazel. Violetstar might exile her. Your adopted daughter hates both you and Hazel. You are a stupid, stupid pile of blood and bones.

~Hazel~

Trudging out of the Fighter's den, I stopped for a brief heartbeat as I noticed Spiritpaw and Holly having an argument. Again. Why couldn't they just get along? They seemed so close when I first came here with my brothers. Pricking my ears forward, I took a few steps closer to hear more.

"Holly, you can't be lying all about camp all the time! You need to pitch in too!" Spiritpaw snapped, his neck fur bristling. Holly rolled her dark green eyes. "Come on, you know I'm right!" A light, dizzied feeling fluttered around in my chest. Why does he have to be so brave? And caring for his group mates? By the stars, why do I fawn over him so much?

The dark tortoiseshell she-cat groaned in response. "What business is it to you, anyways? Just let me live my life and you live yours!" The albino tom narrowed his eyes. Holly's so stubborn! Growling softly to myself, I resisted the urge to rake her ears. I can't hurt her. She's a group mate. Narrowing my eyes, I swept my gaze over to the crowd watching nearby. Idiots! Why can't they go ahead with their own business?! A sharp prick of guilt stabbed at my heart. Oh. Right. I'm doing that too, aren't I? I guess I'm an idiot too, then…

Spiritpaw glared at his paws. "I'm a mediator. I'm supposed to help." He muttered, turning away from Holly. The dark furred tortoiseshell only hissed at him before stomping off towards the Healer's den. Aw, poor Spiritpaw. Why does he have to deal with her ignorance all the time? Why did Maple even allow Holly to stay here? Padding up to Spiritpaw, I sat next to him. He looked up, a distressed glimmer in his red eyes.

Licking his shoulder fur, I sighed. "What's wrong?" I murmured. He whimpered softly.

"I don't think anyone in the Ten Flames listens to me anymore. Is it because I'm an apprentice?" he whispered. Resisting the urge to cuff his ears, I brushed my fur against his. "Hazel, only you listen to me. At least you always stand by me."

I rested my nose on his forehead. "I know. Come on, why don't we go for a walk outside of camp? Maybe that will help you feel better." Spiritpaw only sighed as he got off of his haunches and glanced at me, his eyes glazed with defeat. I sure hope he'll feel better after this. Padding outside of the camp entrance, the crisp greenleaf breeze ruffled my fur. Spiritpaw only blinked, his gaze full of sorrow. Why did Holly have to be such a jerk towards him? He has feelings too! Lightly nudging his shoulder, I managed to get him to keep walking. He really must be upset about this… "Come on, there's a nice quiet spot we can head to."

He didn't bother replying, instead he just followed me as I took him to my favorite spot to relax, which was a rather small oak tree. Spiritpaw looked up at the tree, his eyes wide. I lightly nudged his shoulder once more, jumping onto the lowest branch of the oak tree. The albino tom groaned.

"Seriously, Hazel?" He whined.

I chuckled. "I bet you can't make it up here." Oh, I'm sure he can. It's just that it's the only way to get him to climb a tree or even touch one. Spiritpaw rolled his eyes and laughed, leaping onto the branch. He landed right next to me, a smug grin on his face.

"I bet I can." He meowed loftily. "And I did!" I let out a mrrow of amusement. He seems to be feeling better, at least. That's good. Entwining my tail with his, I rubbed my fur against his. Spiritpaw smiled at me, his red eyes gleaming with joy. "Thanks for cheering me up, Hazel. Sometimes things in camp get so…hurtful at times, you know? I'm so happy that you're my friend." My heart froze at the word "friend". Is that all he'll ever see me as? A friend? Why am I so hung up about it, anyways? At least Spiritpaw can stand me and my reckless behavior.

Sighing, I looked down at my paws. "Spiritpaw, will you always see me as a friend?" He tilted his head in confusion.

He murmured softly. "What do you mean by that?" My pelt grew hot as I sat beside him. My heart felt as if it would pound out of my chest as my tail tip twitched uncontrollably. Should I tell him? Or should I just play it off as a joke? But I might not ever get a chance to tell him like this...he could die at any moment, couldn't he? But so could I, and I would still never get to tell him how I feel… "And why's your pelt so hot?"

"S-Spiritpaw," I began, my legs quivering in pure terror. "I-I love you." His eyes widened in shock as the breeze had suddenly stopped, leaving us in complete silence. Spiritpaw tightened his tail's grip on my tail as the prolonged awkward silence between us seemed to last an eternity. He shoved his muzzle into my chest fur, purring.

"I love you too." He breathed, his pelt brushing up against mine. Nothing could ever ruin this moment. We love each other. A light, fluffy feeling grew in my chest, maybe in my heart. Nothing will ever break us apart. Nothing…I promise, Spiritpaw...

I gazed down at my paws, guilt prickling my pelt. I broke my promise. Why did I ever have the bright idea to even yell at Dove? To attack Wasppaw, that medicine cat apprentice? Dove ran away because of me. ThunderClan hates SkyClan because of me. I'm such a fool. At least Violetstar's giving me the chance to redeem myself. But I'm going back to apprentice duties once I come back, despite her making me deputy. Violetstar said six moons of apprentice duties, maybe four or five if I went on the patrol to find Dove. She should've exiled me. I deserve it. Breaking my eye contact from the uneven ground, I saw Silverfire and Stone standing in front of me. Stone's face was in a scowl, although it's always in a scowl so I'm not surprised. Silverfire let out a small sigh.

"Hazel, look. I'm disappointed in you, but I'm not going to hurt you because of it." murmured Silverfire, his silver eyes weighed down with grief. I caused my littermate that grief. I'm so stupid. He licked my shoulder fur. "I'll welcome you back with open paws once you get back. You'll find Dove, I just know it." No I won't. Dove will hate me for it. And how will we even get to her? We'd have to pass through at least some of ThunderClan territory to get to Twolegplace, which is where we guessed where she ran off to. He padded off towards Violetstar's den, which I guessed was to spend some time with his mate. Stone hissed at me, baring his teeth.

He growled softly. "You are a disgrace to SkyClan, Hazel. I loathe the fact that you have to come on the patrol with us." Sharp thorns stabbed my heart as I dug my claws into the dirt. It was true. I am a disgrace to SkyClan. Maybe I shouldn't be in the Clan anymore. Maybe I should be dead.

I let out a small whimper. "I know."

My words didn't seem to deter Stone from going on at all. He narrowed his red eyes, his sleek jet black fur bristling in a wild rage. Stone hates me. He used to be one of my closest friends...we used to go hunting together and patrols together. Now he hates me, like Spiritmask. Am I destined to lose everyone close to me? Maybe Stargaze and Silverfire hate me too. I already know that Blazeberry does. Wasppaw probably hates me for attacking her. I only dipped my head in shame as Stone continuously went on about how bad of a cat I am. Which is true. My ears pricked up to the sounds of pawsteps coming up towards us. Turning around, I saw Spiritmask glaring at Stone with burning rage in his eyes.

"Leave Hazel alone." He snapped, his voice seething with anger. Stone opened his jaws to protest, but Spiritmask hissed at him before he could reply. In defeat, Stone stormed off, his tail lashing in fury. Spiritmask sat beside me on his haunches. "H-Hazel, about our discussion earlier? I-I'm sorry for hurting you like that. I don't want to stop being mates over something like this. I've loved you for so long, and I can't imagine ever loving someone else, or never loving anyone ever again."

My heart began to pound, as if it was a kitten in a fit. "'I'm sorry too, I never should've said that you hate me. I know you love me, Spiritmask. I'm sorry for hurting you as well." Taking in a shuddering breath, I began to sob quietly. "I couldn't ever imagine never loving you again, either. I don't want to be taken away from you, Spiritmask. Will you give me another chance, even after all this chaos I've caused?"

Spiritmask nodded, purring gently. "'I'll always give you another chance, Hazel. I've always loved you, and my heart always soars when I'm with you."

"Mine too." I whispered, unsure of what to say after that. "I promise I'll come back to you after we find Dove. And I'll make sure that I'll think of you the entire time."