The It Couple
Chapter Twenty-Two
"Are you sure you don't want help?" Kagome laughed from her perch in the kitchen island, hair still a wild mess around her shoulders, drowning in Inuyasha's oversized plush robe ("I look like Puff Daddy," she'd joked when she first put it on) and taking in the amusing sight of the Inuyasha Takahashi trying to cook her breakfast all by himself. She was pretty sure he hadn't cooked a meal in five years; that was the first splurge he'd ever made with a big-movie paycheck, hiring a full-time housekeeper and cook. Leave it to them to be in the house alone on Nazuna's day off.
He shook his head, glaring at the eggs sitting in the frying pan uncooked. "I swear, it's just this damn kitchen. More like a spaceship than what I'm used to," he grumbled, "Where are the damn buttons? Who designs this shit?" He fumbled around on the dark grey panels, looking very lost.
Kagome chuckled. "Are you really sure you don't want me to help?" She rested her chin in her hand.
"No, no," he said stubbornly, glancing over his shoulder at her with a sullen expression, "I promised you I'd make you breakfast. You sit right there and relax."
"Oooh!" Kagome said after a second's thought, "Do you have any cereal? That's what I really want."
He blinked, then the realization seemed to dawn on him and he broke into a smile that made him look ten years old. "Yeah, we do," he said, "Nazuna's always got something on hand. Wait here, I'll be right back."
He scurried off towards the enormous walk-in pantry. Kagome suppressed a giggle at his childish enthusiasm and reached for her phone, which had been sitting abandoned on the kitchen counter since last night when she'd called the doctor to the Higurashi home. She wondered if she even had any battery left.
She did, but it was wavering at around twelve percent. Several missed calls from Miroku, Sango, you name it, but it was the six from Kikyou that really made her stomach drop a little.
It had been nice for about twelve hours, pretending that she wasn't the younger sister of the most famous woman on planet Earth, but now it was all starting to hit home.
What am I gonna tell her?
Interrupting her sober gaze at her phone, Inuyasha plopped a ceramic bowl down in front of her rather loudly.
"Okay," he said, holding up two cereal boxes, "I have Cheerios and I have Raisin Bran."
Kagome laughed, putting her phone down. Worries could wait just a little longer, couldn't they? "So you just have old man cereals? Great."
"Hey," he said, looking scandalized, "These are healthy. Sorry I didn't stock up on Lucky Charms; I didn't know to expect you last night."
"I know," she said, pink rising to her cheeks ever so slightly, "Raisin Bran will be just fine, thank you."
Inuyasha poured the cereal into the bowl in front of her and made a great show of pouring milk on top, then inserting a spoon. "Your breakfast is ready," he said, sliding it up to her with a smirk.
"How did I get so lucky?" Kagome said, "Actor, celebrity, fashion plate, and chef."
"That's me," he said, eyes softening as he leaned in to kiss her, "Jack of all trades."
"Well isn't this adorable," A voice behind them grumbled.
They pulled apart and turned to find Miroku standing there in the archway, leaning against the wall, hands shoved in the pockets of his leather jacket. He looked a little disheveled and there were dark circles under his eyes, which were narrowed in the bright light of the kitchen windows.
"Have you ever heard of knocking or ringing a fucking doorbell?" Inuyasha snapped, removing his hand from the side of Kagome's face and stepping away. Kagome, for her part, remained silent and immediately turned to her bowl of cereal and started eating.
"I called you on the way to let you know I was coming," Miroku lied. He hadn't bothered. "Not my fault you won't answer your damn phone."
Inuyasha gave an irritated sigh and crossed his arms. "What do you want, Miroku?"
"Oh nothing," Miroku said casually, walking up and taking a seat next to Kagome, who was evidently refusing to look him in the eye as she ate her breakfast, "Just wanted to make sure you were alive, that's all. How's your hand?"
"It's fine," Inuyasha ground out, turning to grab his coffee. Miroku caught sight of some brilliantly colored cartoon band-aids on the back of his fist and fought the urge to snort.
"That's good. Well done, Kagome." He watched her choke a little on her latest mouthful of cereal and push her head a little further down. Even though he knew last night's events hadn't been Kagome's fault, not really, Sango was still angry at him over all of it and that fact alone made him a little less sympathetic to the whole happy-and-in-love vibe. Ugh, I'm such a bitter cold bastard.
"You look awful," Kagome mumbled through a mouthful of cereal, a look of sincere concern on her face, "Are you hungover?"
"Possibly," Miroku said, "I didn't get to go straight home last night unlike some people."
"Are you done?" Inuyasha leaned against the kitchen island over his coffee, towering over Miroku's seated form with a furious scowl on his face. He really ought to get that look patented; it was quite intimidating, "We're a little busy."
Miroku's mouth got the better of him once again. It sure seemed like that was happening a lot lately, didn't it?
"I can tell," he said with a smirk, looking Kagome up and down, "You guys have apparently been busy for a while now, huh?"
He knew it was coming and didn't flinch away when Inuyasha growled and moved to grab him by the collar. Kagome reached out with the reflexes of a cat and grabbed Inuyasha's outstretched fist in her own small hand, stopping it in midair.
"Don't," she said softly to Inuyasha, though her eyes shot Miroku a baleful look before she returned to her cereal, "He's just being an asshole. Miroku, cut it out."
Inuyasha seemed to immediately check himself and his face grew gentle as he stared at his hand where she'd touched it. How precious.
Instantly, Inuyasha's narrow-eyed glare returned as he returned his eyes to Miroku. "Spill it," he said evenly, "What do you want? Really?"
"Well, we've got a premiere in three days. Little movie called 'The Red Robe,' maybe you've heard of it?"
"Great," Inuyasha said, "So fuck off and come back tomorrow and we can discuss details then."
"Afraid I can't do that, pal. Especially with all the shit that's just happened this morning. We've got to get all this out in the open and talk about it like adults." Miroku fumbled in his pocket for his lighter, cigarette already in his mouth.
"What are you talking about?" Inuyasha said, watching Kagome putting her spoon in the now-empty bowl and getting up to rinse it in the sink, "Wait, wait, I'll do it." He moved to take the dishes from her hands.
"You really don't know?" Miroku said, almost wishing he had a camera to film the reaction to this bomb he was about to drop, "Kikyou and Naraku went splitsville."
"What?" Inuyasha and Kagome both cried, letting the bowl drop to the floor and shatter.
"Shit," Kagome swore, "My fault, I'm sorry."
"No, no," Inuyasha said, "That was me. Just caught me off guard."
Miroku was pretty sure he was getting a cavity at just how cute they were acting together. There was a knot in his guts that felt suspiciously like jealousy but certainly could be an ulcer. Yeah, that had to be it. With the amount he smoked and drank and carried on? Definitely an ulcer starting. He needed some antacids, stat.
"Where's the broom?" Kagome said, bending to pick up the larger pieces.
Inuyasha stared at her blankly. "I dunno."
"You don't know." She stared at him blankly.
"I'm a fucking bajillionaire! I have household staff so I don't have to know!" Inuyasha protested, looking a little embarrassed.
"Oh, for fuck's sake, stop with the cleanup and flirty chitchat for five seconds so we can get back to the subject at hand, please?" Miroku snapped, and they both turned to him with raised eyebrows.
"Fine," Inuyasha said, stepping gingerly over the broken glass and pulling a barstool to the far end of the kitchen island. Kagome put the glass shards she had picked up on the counter and followed his lead, sitting next to him.
"When did this happen?" Kagome said urgently, "Last night?"
"This morning. Naraku just got the lead role in the 'Conan the Demonslayer' reboot. He's leaving now for Mongolia and won't be back for six months at least. Kikyou basically had a fit."
"That sounds like Kikyou," Kagome mumbled.
"You texted me that he's not pressing charges for me rearranging his face last night," Inuyasha said, eyes narrowed in clear suspicion.
"Oh, so you did read your texts, did you?"
"Now all of a sudden he's being shipped off to Mongolia? Miroku, I've known you for eight years. I know when you're full of shit."
"I honestly had nothing to do with that," Miroku said, taking a drag of his smoke, "You'd have to ask Sango. I'm sure she'd tell you. She's not answering my calls either."
"I thought you two were thick as thieves," Inuyasha said, absently taking Kagome's hand where it sat on the tabletop and interlocking his fingers with hers (prompting a blush from her), "What happened?"
"Nothing you need to worry about," Miroku said, maybe a little too snappishly, "But now you're going to get a ton of questions about Kikyou's newly single status at the premiere junket. Just thought I would warn you. You know how the public and the press are. With Naraku out of the picture they smell a reunion coming. They're gonna see you and Kikyou arm-in-arm at the premiere and start foaming at the fucking mouth."
Kagome said nothing, her face impassive, but Inuyasha frowned. "Since when am I taking Kikyou as my date to the premiere?"
"Since Kikyou is newly single and open to the possibility, and since you made the bright decision to costar as the leads in a movie together. That's not really a choice, Inuyasha. You know the biz. You know all the photographers are gonna just want the two of you. Oh, by the way, Kagome," another drag of the cigarette, "You should probably call Sango. She'd mentioned she wanted to talk to you about whatever dress you're wearing to the premiere. Kikyou's wearing Versace so you probably should too."
"To the premiere?" Kagome looked momentarily confused, "Why does it matter what I wear? It's never mattered before."
"You're walking the red carpet solo. Your big debut."
"I'm what?" she cried.
"She's what?" Inuyasha echoed. God, they were just the cutest, weren't they? Peas in a pod. Miroku shrugged.
"We already discussed this," Miroku said patiently, "Kagome's part of the whole shebang now. You're part of the campaign now, kid, more than ever before."
They looked at each other with uncertainty, and Miroku saw fit to continue. "Like we said, we can't avoid having Kagome be of interest to the vultures, but we sure as hell can come out ahead of it like this is her big debut, with all the pomp and circumstance that involves."
"And what does Kikyou think about that?" Inuyasha said skeptically.
"She's thrilled. She loves her sister. By the way, Kagome, have you called her at all?"
Kagome winced.
"She's been worried sick about you. You probably should go talk to her."
"What do I-" Kagome glanced at Miroku, then fixed her eyes on Inuyasha, an expression of absolute terror on her face, "What do I tell her? What can I even say?"
"Tell her you spent all night calling paparazzi off of the house and spent the night on my couch to be safe," Miroku said smoothly, "I even brought you a change of clothes. You're a size 6, right?"
"Yeah," she said softly.
"Good, I guessed right," Miroku said with a smirk.
Kagome stood, looking a little dazed. "I guess I better shower and get back home, then," she said quietly.
"Now wait just a goddamn minute," Inuyasha started towards her but Miroku cut him off.
"Good idea, Kagome. Go get yourself all cleaned up. I left your change of clothes on the couch by the front door."
"Thanks," she said, meekly, back to the same old Kagome again. Miroku tried not to feel guilty.
She turned to Inuyasha, already undoing the ties of the enormous plush robe she was engulfed in. "Can I use your shower?"
Inuyasha blinked and nodded, and she smiled and kissed him chastely before exiting the kitchen.
Miroku waited a hot second, then looked at Inuyasha, who was still looking a little out of sorts.
"Okay," Miroku said, "At the risk of you trying to punch me again, I gotta ask. What the hell do you think you're doing, man? She's Kikyou's sister. I mean, I get it, she's cute. Not necessarily my cup of tea, but hey, to each their own. What do you think Kikyou will do when she finds out you've been going behind her back this whole time?"
"We haven't!" Inuyasha said, slamming an open hand on the countertop, which then balled into a tight fist.
"That night she stayed here after the HFA's," Miroku said, "Are you sure nothing happened then?"
"Nothing. Fucking. Happened," Inuyasha ground out, though he refused to meet Miroku's eyes. How very interesting.
"Well, when Kikyou finds out that all of a sudden you two are hot and heavy, lovey dovey, meant to be, whatever you two are calling it, do you think she'll believe that nothing's been going on before last night?" Miroku felt like an ass for bringing it up, but dammit he needed Sango to speak to him again and this was the way to do it.
Inuyasha said nothing, just frowned at his fist on the table. Of course this is only just now occurring to him, Miroku thought, I guess that's why they pay people like me to do their thinking for them.
"So we're not telling her," Miroku said, "Or she'll make everyone's lives a living hell, especially Kagome's. Got it?"
Inuyasha gave a sigh that sounded more like a growl and pressed his fists into his eyes.
"Inuyasha," Miroku said insistently.
"I fucking hear you," he snapped, "but I can't just pretend. Last night...Miroku, it changed everything. All this time, it's been Kagome. All the memories I've been hung up over, all of them, they're all because Kagome was there, supporting me all the way, making me laugh, keeping me grounded. She's made me happy, and now I want to make her happy. It's all because of her. It's not Kikyou I was missing. Kikyou hasn't been Kikyou for years." He ran a hand over his eyes. Miroku hated it, but he believed him. The guy hadn't looked truly happy in years unless Kagome had been around.
Feeling that guilty pang again, Miroku drowned it out by handing Inuyasha a cigarette and lighting it. "That's quite an epiphany, Inuyasha," he said, making sure to emphasize the sarcasm in his voice, "but I think you're writing off your eight years with Kikyou a little too easily and conveniently, aren't you? Maybe you need a little time and space to figure things out for yourself."
Inuyasha took a drag of the cigarette and said nothing, continuing to stare at his hands. He's wavering, Miroku thought, Am I good? I am damn good. Move in for the kill.
"Besides," he said casually, standing and going to the bar to pour himself drink number two of the day, making sure to pour another for his very famous and very confused friend, "I'm curious how being the new girlfriend of the most famous man in the world just in time for the Oscars could possibly make Kagome happy."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, this upcoming red carpet will be the first time we acknowledge who she is and her relation to Kikyou. Sure, she's been caught in the background of photos before, and sure, she was Kouga's date to the HFA's, but this is the first time we've got her on a red carpet where we're in control of the whole narrative. She's going to be an asset to both of you in your campaigns, but only if you show up as the big happy reunited family. What will the press, hell, what will the public think if all of a sudden you switch from Kikyou to her younger sister? Think what that makes Kagome look like. One date with Kouga, a few scandalous paparazzi photos, and now she's with you? The press will tear her to shreds. Kagome's not built for that shit. Her skin's too thin."
Inuyasha immediately downed the drink Miroku had handed him, grimacing at the bitter taste and burying his face in his hand again. "You're right," he mumbled, the realization slowly dawning on him, "She doesn't deserve any of that shit."
"I'm glad you're starting to see some reason," Miroku said gravely, "So no, we're not telling Kikyou about any of this, and you two are going to play nice for the next two months. Once we're all home with gold statues we can work on how best to tell Kikyou that after one night you've fallen head-over-heels for her little sister, a girl you yourself lived with for eight years, and that nothing happened before last night." This sucks. I suck. I am a bad man.
"I don't give a fuck about the Oscars," Inuyasha snapped, "I don't even want to do any of this anymore. I could just disappear - Kagome and I could both just-"
"And go where, exactly?" Miroku said, taking a drag of his smoke, "Inuyasha, you're not this fucking naive. You know how it felt when Kikyou did it to you, just dropped you in front of everyone. I wish there were some way I could spin this where everyone just comes out squeaky clean and smelling like roses but there are some miracles even I can't pull off. So listen to me when I say this - you two cannot be seen alone together at any point. That includes house calls; the paps are gonna be watching your houses now waiting to see you and Kikyou spend quality time together-"
Crash. Ah, there went the empty whiskey glass. Yet another mess for poor beleaguered Nazuna to clean up when she got here in the morning.
"Son of a bitch!" Inuyasha snapped, but said nothing further, raking his hands through his hair.
Then they both heard Kagome coming back up the hallway and immediately sat upright, trying to make their positions look casual.
She reentered the kitchen, hair towel dried and spiraling around her shoulders, wearing the outfit Miroku had brought. "Whose clothes are these?" she was saying with a slight grimace.
"I don't remember," Miroku lied. It was a grey blazer and pencil skirt, smartly tailored and paired with a random t-shirt Miroku had just happened to find in his top drawer. The shirt had been his from college. The rest of it had been Lana Warner's, left in a pile on his floor after one of their many trysts. Miroku had had it washed and hung up in his closet for when she'd come back to retrieve it, but she had given him the slip the next day and it had hung there untouched. On Kagome, the skirt was a bit long, but it would do.
"Great," Kagome said with a grin, "So I'm wearing some random chick's leftovers?"
Never stopped you before, Miroku thought, then mentally chided himself at how nasty he was being. He needed Sango back, badly. Somehow with her around, he was a nice guy, even if he did get them into some weird moral quandaries. Sango might be a wild power-crazy control freak, but around her he at least felt like a human being and not just a-
"Inuyasha," Kagome said, her smile fading into a look of concern, "Are you okay?"
Miroku glanced at him and realized that Inuyasha had been staring at Kagome with a heartbreaking look on his face.
But never let it be said that Inuyasha Takahashi, multiple Oscar nominee and perhaps-this-time-winner, couldn't fake it til he made it. Almost instantly, the look of sadness vanished and Inuyasha flashed Kagome an easygoing grin. "Yeah, sorry," he said, "Just zoned out for a second."
Not a great excuse, but it would do.
Kagome shrugged as she pulled on her heels from the night before. "I'd better go," she said softly, stepping up to give Inuyasha a parting kiss.
Miroku had to hand it to Inuyasha; he obviously fought to keep the kiss short and sweet, then ruffled her hair slightly.
"Get on home, kiddo," he said affectionately, "I'll see you at the premiere."
Kagome blinked at him, obviously a little confused, but smiled and nodded.
"I'll give you a ride," Miroku said quickly, whisking Kagome out of the room.
Trouble in paradise. Obviously Miroku's trying to double down on that little attack of conscience he had last night. But hey, as far as he's concerned, all that matters is getting back in Sango's good graces. The man is a total hypocrite but he's at least trying to keep the consequences of last night perfectly clear. This isn't some perfect little world where things get to end up happy right away. They have a whole ravenous public to keep happy.
Now on to the Kagome and Kikyou reunion... - meggz0rz