Love is War

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Chapter Fifteen

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DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN NARUTO

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The more time that went by, the more accustomed I was becoming to domestic life with Sasuke. With every day that passed, we became a little closer, a little more comfortable and after another two weeks had come and gone, I knew for a fact that I was hopelessly in love with him.

It was no secret that I'd had this infatuation with him since the beginning. He interested me in more ways than one. But, having this alone time with him had only opened my eyes to just how much I liked him. He was strong and smart, beyond skilled and focused. These were all qualities I admired, but what attracted me to him most of all was his thoughtfulness, his considerateness, his kindness.

Over the past week I'd been feeling really well. There was only minimum pain and finally, the new skin over my wounds had me feeling brand new. I could soak in the tub for as long as I wanted. I could move freely, lay around however I wanted and my healing process was officially at its end.

Kabuto came by just this morning, with Naruto tagging along. He was very pleased with the old wounds that were now nothing more than scars. I hadn't taken any medication in weeks and was still barely drinking. Sasuke and I kept busy doing other things. I found that cooking with him was a rather amusing thing that I thoroughly enjoyed.

Everything seemed to be going smooth and Naruto didn't have anything bad to report to me. With the club on lock and all jobs on hold with the feds in town, there was no reason for me to rush back to the club and honestly, I wanted to enjoy my time at home with Sasuke for as long as I could. He didn't seem to mind at all and a part of me hoped that he wanted the same thing, even if he didn't admit it aloud.

"You know what I really want?" I asked after eating the last bite of pasta that was on my plate.

"What's that?" Sasuke asked, looking over at me curiously. He'd long since finished his food but had continued to sit with me at the table.

"A ride." I smirked, getting up and taking my plate and his to the sink.

Sasuke got up but only followed me with his eyes. "We could go for a ride." He said, agreeing easily enough.

"There's just one thing… I want to drive." My bike wasn't here but I missed riding so much, I needed a ride. A long one.

"Hell no. I'm not riding bitch and you're not riding alone."

I scowled at the dishes in the sink then. "You know I've wanted to ride since the incident."

"Yes, I do know." He sighed and closed the distance between us. "But, as the man responsible for your safety, I can't allow you to go out on your own."

"And you won't let me ride you either." I pouted.

Sasuke's left brow arched suggestively and a heat flooded through my body. I pushed past him, wanting to forget the entire conversation immediately. Unfortunately for me, Sasuke was hot on my heels.

"If it means so much to you, we can go for a ride."

The corner of my mouth twitched, but I fought off the smirk trying to take place on my face, even though my back was to him. "Really?"

"Yes… but not far."

"Then what are you waiting for?" I turned then and walked past him towards the door leading out to my garage.

I was grinning from ear to ear just at the sight of his bike. It wasn't mine, I'd never driven it myself… but to have that wondrous feeling after so long… I was too excited. I got on first, a thrill of exhilaration running through me that only heightened when Sasuke got on behind me.

This was most certainly going to be fun.

I started the bike and relished in the sound of it. The way it roared to life and vibrated my entire body. I took a deep breath and grinned as I drove us out of the garage and down my driveway. It felt so good, so right… even though it was the first time in years that I'd been on a bike without my vest. We didn't want to draw in any unnecessary attention so I knew better than to even try and wear it.

Even if I was daring enough, there was no way in hell Sasuke would let me out of my own home wearing it without a fight. My stomach fluttered then instant we were on the road and Sasuke's hands came to rest on my sides. His bike was a little bigger and heavier than mine, but the ride felt just the same. This was my favorite thing to do. I loved being on the open road, the wind blowing over me. The sight of endless road ahead of me… the feel of Sasuke right behind me only made it all the more better.

I'd never been more aware of him than I was now. His body was so much bigger, so much stronger. He smelled so fucking good and his hands on me had me wanting to squirm. It was beyond ridiculous that he was distracting me to such an extent while I was trying to enjoy my first ride in so long.

Damn him…

We rode for a while, and eventually I calmed down and relaxed, pushing all my annoying thoughts aside and focusing on the enjoyment of this time, this day. I drove us all the way down to my favorite lake which was over a half an hour ride away and I parked right before the water. The place was breathtakingly beautiful and I'd loved it ever since I was a little girl… but for some reason, I never found any other people out here. When I came, it was always just me.

Sometimes I came with my dad… that was how it all started, but he'd been gone for too long now. It was just me… and now Sasuke. Why the hell I brought him here, I didn't know. But for some unfathomable reason, I wanted to share this place with him, just as I'd already shared so much else with him.

"This is nice." He said coolly as I got off the bike to walk closer to the water and for a moment, he stayed in place on the bike.

"Yeah… it is." I agreed, my voice quiet as I got lost in my thoughts.

Being here after so long made me all too reminiscent. Images and memories of my dad flooded through my mind and for a while, I could think of nothing else. I missed him. A lot. He was a huge part of me… he'd made me who I was today, even if he didn't plan for it to be that way.

He never wanted me to be in his line of work, much less take over his business after his death. But, he'd never been able to keep secrets from me. I'd known about the club, the family, the business since before I was even a teenager. I paid attention and I learned a lot. Once I got older, he did bring me to the club and I knew all the guys. I was a part of the family long before I ever became their leader.

Most of those older guys were long gone, some dead, some exiled. Only Kakashi and Genma were left from those old days. I'd recruited my own men after I took over, though I didn't get rid of anyone myself unless it was completely necessary. Naruto and Sai were both my essential and first recruits and while most of the other guys followed shortly after, Naruto, Sai and I had been close since long before any of us were ever officially in the gang.

My men meant a lot to me… they were all I had left, when once upon a time I had a family and a seemingly normal life. While my life now wasn't what most people would consider normal, it was normal to me. I loved things the way they were… but wanting the change that I wanted… wanting to have more in my life… sometimes I couldn't help thinking that it couldn't always be this way.

What if I decided to have a family in the future… would I want to have kids… if I did, would I want to raise them in the lifestyle I was living now? Could I still run the club and bring my kids along with me? Putting not only my own life at risk, but theirs as well… It was honestly a lot to think about. But, why was I even thinking about all this now anyway?

I glanced back at Sasuke then and he was just getting off the bike to slowly make his way over to me. I sighed, wondering if it was him who had all these thoughts going through my mind. I knew I really liked him… I really, really liked him. I wanted more. I wanted him… But did I really need more than that? If I did, couldn't I just wait to make those decisions and think about that when the time came instead of worrying about it all right now.

"Got something on your mind?" He asked thoughtfully, regarding me curiously.

"My dad used to bring me here…" I told him, though I wasn't sure why I wanted him to know. I sat on the ground where I was, looking back out over the lake before speaking again just as Sasuke sat next to me. "I've come here a lot over the years… even after my dad was killed. The gang was his you know… I took it over in his place. He's probably rolling over in his grave every fucking day because of it."

"Why do you think that?" Sasuke asked as I chuckled to myself.

"Because… he didn't want this life for me. He spoiled me rotten and we spent a lot of time together, especially after my mom was murdered… but even though I was always around and I knew what he did… I knew he didn't want me to have any part of it. But in reality, I was the only one who could fill his shoes. Do you think I'm wrong?"

"Hell no." Sasuke scoffed. "If anything, I actually think your old man would be proud. You're doing a damn good job and you're the strongest woman I know."

His words made me happy, but a part of me was still unsure about how my dad would feel about the whole thing. Honestly, I did do a damn good job. I cared for my brothers before I cared about myself. Nothing came before the family. I ran things smoothly and maintained the best environment for everyone… but still, I worried sometimes.

"For a long time now… this is all I've been. I really don't know how to be anything else. I didn't finish school… I've never had any other job… sometimes though, I want more. I want some regular normalcy… but… don't tell any of the guys I told you that."

"Oh, I'm telling." He mused, smirking as he looked out over the water and I turned to glare at him.

"Yeah and I'll shoot your ass too." Bitch.

He laughed then, his lips pulling apart in a full-blown grin. "Don't I know it… hard ass."

I sighed then, leaning back and resting my weight on my hands. "I just… don't know why I'm having all these wayward thoughts these days… maybe I've been away from the club for too long. I need to get back to work. Hell, maybe I'm a bitch… a scared bitch after what happened."

I had no idea why that last bit came out of my mouth. This was something that hadn't even crossed my mind and yet, I had spoken of it. I didn't really even think about that incident anymore. I wasn't afraid, not even of death. Sure I worried about my right hand running the club into the ground if I wasn't around to know what was going on, but if I died so be it… But now… I just felt like I had so much more to live for… so much I hadn't experienced and I wanted to experience it. I wanted to really start living my life in a whole other way.

"If there's one thing I know you aren't, it's a scared bitch. You are not scared. You're a survivor. A fucking goddamn warrior. Don't ever fucking say some stupid shit like that again."

Wow. He actually sounded mad and I couldn't even be offended. I was happy that he could think so highly of me… in fact, now my heart was pounding.

"I guess I just need to get back in the groove of things. I've had too much time to think about nonsense. When I need to have my thoughts on the club and nothing more."

"That's not true… you should think about yourself more and what you want. I know your life revolves around the club- all of ours does… but that doesn't mean you can't have more if you want it Sakura. You can have anything you want."

I looked at him then, swallowing hard before I let my next words flow out of my mouth. "Well… what if I said I wanted you."

He turned his head to look at me as well, those smoldering eyes meeting mine in a heated stare. "What if I said you already had me."

Damn him to hell… Always one upping me. And it was he who'd had me ever since the beginning… and he'd always known it too.

I shrugged, the moment so deep that I had a strong urge to get out of it. "I probably wouldn't believe you."

In the next instant I was flat on my back and he was on top of me, his nose barely an inch from my own. "Well you should."

My heart lurched into my throat, every ounce of my breath escaping me in a gasp as his lips suddenly pressed against mine. My hands automatically went into his hair as I kissed him back. I'd never felt such a way… I'd never been blown away like this. It was the first time I'd ever been kissed, but it was on a whole other level of some fairytail type shit. I felt the spark, I saw the fucking light. It was so perfect that I could have died at that exact instant and I would have died one happy fucking woman.

His lips were much softer than I imagined and they felt just right as they moved against mine. I wasn't sure how long the kiss lasted… but it was intense and passionate, leaving me breathless and panting and staring up at him in awe when he finally broke away to gaze down at me.

"Kiss me again." I ordered, my voice hushed and tinged with lust. I'd never felt such a way, but I wanted to feel more.

He smirked at my words, but did as I said, this time making my head spin with the way his lips and tongue so effortlessly turned me into mush beneath him. When he pulled away again a sound I'd never made before escaped me in a whimpered protest and he gave me one last quick kiss before getting up and pulling me to my feet.

"That's enough for now, let's get the hell out of here."

He sounded more gruff than I was expecting, but he didn't sound annoyed… flustered maybe? I went with him willingly, not bothering to argue when he got on the bike first, obviously having every intention of being the one to drive us back. That was fine with me, considering my entire body felt like it was floating on cloud nine at the time. I was dazed from that kiss and wasn't sure when I'd ever get over it.

I held tight to him on the ride, thinking the whole time about that kiss and how perfectly right it felt. How good. I wanted to kiss him again and again. I wanted that sensation a million times over, even if it did give me some kind of otherworldly high that I was so unaccustomed to.

When we finally made it back to my place and we got off the bike, I was slow to follow Sasuke inside, as I was still reeling from his kiss. I couldn't get over the feel and the taste of him, but I was afraid that once we got inside… I might try to take things even further. I knew Sasuke wanted me, possibly as much as I wanted him… but that didn't mean he wanted more than just a little kissing for now.

My body was so wound up, wanting things that I'd ignored for the entirety of my adult life. I would have let him have me back at the lake, right there on the ground because I wanted him that fucking much… even if most women wouldn't consider something like that their ideal first time. I didn't give a fuck… I just wanted him… I wanted him bad.

"Gonna just stand out here all day, or are you coming inside?"

My cheeks heated at this, but I said nothing as I walked right past him and headed inside. As much as I did want him, I didn't want to rush into anything, and not knowing how Sasuke actually felt about it made me feel some type of way too. I didn't know what to think or do, so the first thing I did when I was inside was pour myself a drink.

"Tch. A little kissing and you've had to turn back to the alcohol already?" He did sound annoyed now, even going so far as to shake his head at me.

"Fuck you." I snapped, not giving a damn what he thought. He obviously didn't understand the nerves I was feeling right now. I needed something to calm me down, otherwise I was probably going to wind up calling Kabuto to save me from a heart attack.

Sasuke sighed as he watched me, crossing his arms over his chest while leaning casually against the counter. "Keep fucking around and I will."

Oh hell… My eyes bulged as I stared down at the drink I'd just poured myself before downing it in one go. I was hot all over and desperate to escape now. If I didn't get away from him for a little while, he was definitely going to be the death of me. Leaving my glass on the counter, I started walking off quickly and heading for my room.

"What the hell? You're just gonna leave me?" He asked, walking behind me and seeming to be closing in.

If I would've had my gun on me, I would have certainly pointed it at him. "Don't follow me, Uchiha. I need… a moment." I hissed before hurrying into my room and locking the door.

Surely he wouldn't break it down or anything. He was a pretty considerate guy, so I knew he would give me some time to calm down and come to terms with what had happened between us and what else could be happening sooner. I fell on my bed with a groan, holding my flaming cheeks before rolling around in a frenzy.

Had that really happened? Was I really losing my mind for this guy… Was I serious about giving myself to him so easily. Who was I kidding… I'd wanted him for the longest time… I deserved to have him after waiting for it for so long. Now was no the time to be chickening out and running away from the one thing- guy that I desired.

I still needed to calm down and relax though, so I decided I should take a bath and chill for a bit before facing him again. Who knows… he could have been having even worse thoughts than I was. Maybe he was a total fucking pervert… how was I supposed to know? Shit… it had obviously been a long time since he'd fucked… and I'd never told him I was a virgin… What if he totally killed me on accident or something?

I was totally not going to survive the night if my thoughts and feeling kept at it.

Getting up to head into my bathroom, I was halted midstep by him knocking on me door. "Sakura…"

"I'll be out in a bit, okay. Just give me some damn time." Shit.

"I didn't mean to make you mad, you can come out of the fucking room already."

Dumbass. "You didn't make me mad, I just… need a minute!"

What the hell didn't he understand about this?

"I'm going to take a bath okay…?" I sighed, already calming a fraction.

"Okay… but unlock the door." He said in that no-nonsense tone of his and I rolled my eyes before unlocking the door.

"It's unlocked but don't you dare fucking come in here. I have my gun now and I am not fucking scared to use it."

"Oh, I know you're not." He laughed and I rolled my eyes, turning on my heel and heading into my bathroom without another word.

I wasn't going to rush. I was going to enjoy a nice, long bath and reflect on that kiss and what was to come. For all I knew, it might not happen tonight… but soon enough, I would be a new woman, a woman who had a man… A woman who had Sasuke fucking Uchiha. Shit. Breathe, Sakura, breathe.

Maybe I needed a little more time than the bath alone.

A/N:

Hey guys, back with an update!

Hope you enjoy, thanks for reading and for all reviews!